Psychology of men cheating on their wives: reasons and why this happens

Cheating exists, it's not a myth. Moreover, betrayal can happen to anyone. Like the flu. No matter how much you harden yourself, no matter how much you take vitamins, there is always a risk. There are also a lot of reasons for cheating. You will learn about them from other articles on this site (links are at the end of the article).

When cheating happens in a couple, life is divided into “before” and “after”. After betrayal, everything is different. But that’s not about that now. Today we will touch on the stage “before” betrayal. How does it start? What factors influence a man's decision to cheat? Does this moment even exist - the moment of deciding to betray?

Of course, not everyone changes.

Reasons for cheating on the part of a man

To understand why husbands cheat on their wives, we need to discuss the key reasons for this phenomenon. A stable marriage can break down for various reasons:

The presence of a psychological tendency to deception and betrayal. Similar preconditions are formed due to improper upbringing and the environment of the individual. If in childhood the child’s parents quarreled, separated, or started new companions, the child gradually develops a negative position regarding fidelity. In the future, the man will not show respect for girls and will stop trying to build serious relationships based on trust and mutual understanding. A person's environment influences his behavior. If friends cheat on their partners or look for new fans, a man who has such acquaintances is prone to promiscuity.
Desire to have more fun. A spouse with whom a representative of the stronger sex spends many years together cannot satisfy her partner’s sexual needs 100%. Some men live for pleasure, disregarding moral standards. They forget about loved ones, go against the environment. This behavior is typical of people who have achieved certain heights in business and self-realization. Their behavior becomes imposing and relaxed. New requests and desires appear.
Dissatisfaction in sexual life. Psychologists say that unfulfilled fantasies can destroy family loyalty. Men lack fulfillment of sexual fantasies. This situation can be corrected by diversity. It is important to understand what does not suit your spouse in bed and try to fulfill his wishes.
Misunderstanding, lack of topics for conversation, lack of support. Sex is not the key factor that influences the preservation of family fidelity. You need to constantly communicate with your spouse, find interesting topics. This is not the most popular problem of relationship destruction, however, it exists. The lack of normal communication between spouses leads to the final destruction of the relationship.
Self-affirmation. This reason applies to men who doubt their abilities and are not confident in their ability to adequately satisfy their spouse. This is influenced by an unworthy financial situation, health problems, humiliation from relatives, friends, and spouse. A man begins to cheat in order to assert himself.
Revenge. A stupid excuse for destroying family loyalty. A representative of the stronger sex will begin to take revenge because of his wife’s betrayal. At the same time, you can correct the situation and prevent the situation from repeating on the part of your spouse. To do this, the girl needs to start treating the guy well and show an increased sense of love. This will stop him, dull the feeling of revenge and resentment.

A change in the behavior of a male representative, the beginning of mistrust, deception, and betrayal on his part is associated with a lack of interest in his wife and lack of attention. Living with a person who is not interested in communication, sex, or spending time together is torture.

I'm cheating on myself

Interesting! Is it true? How often do we cheat on ourselves? How often do we do what we don’t want, follow others’ lead, block our desires in the name of other people’s “wants” and “shoulds”?

They don't love us because we don't love ourselves. We are betrayed because we betray ourselves.

They don't hear us because we don't hear ourselves. Take a piece of paper and write (preferably with your left hand):

I cheated on myself in...
I keep cheating on myself...
I'm cheating on myself in...

At the end of the letter, ask yourself for forgiveness for your own betrayals. And promise yourself to find a way to avoid them.

Signs indicating your spouse is cheating

There are a number of signs that will indicate to a woman that her husband is betraying her. They will help you determine the situation in time and take appropriate actions. These include:

Lack of free time, business trips. My husband often stays late at work.
The appearance of passwords on your computer and phone. Calls, correspondence, any manifestation of communication with other people takes place secretly.
Making new friends. Meeting with them in your free time, spending the night at a party. Sudden leaving home.
Some money disappears from family savings. Additional expenses appear that are not reflected in the family situation. Hiding expenses, part of salary.
Changing the behavior and consciousness of the spouse. He changes his behavior style, starts going to the gym, engages in self-education, changes his clothing style and hairstyle.
In the absence of children, she tries to delay this moment as far as possible. Stops hearing about possible pregnancy.
Decreased sexual activity. The spouse ceases to show desire, complains of fatigue, bad mood.
Ignoring serious conversations, nervousness, psychological trauma. Non-admission of guilt regarding various everyday situations or flexible character.

In addition to indirect signs, there is direct evidence. These include the smell of someone else's perfume, traces on the body, women's things in pockets.

Everything is bad in bed, dissatisfaction

Some women are not yet fully aware of their femininity and attractiveness.

Your marital games in bed may not satisfy your partner.

Not all women are skilled in bed for the following reasons::

The wife is very young and not so experienced .
Some girls are very uptight and do not know how to express their passion and love at night.
Lack of education and limitations in knowledge.
Not all wives want to accept their men's fantasies . A man by nature loves to make his extreme fantasies come true. Some people completely refuse to experiment.

If a man has tried this and that, but it doesn’t change or add variety in bed, out of desperation he may find himself a mistress.

Or even just find a walking girl for one night.

After all, if a wife is very bad in bed , a man can find a girl who is simply better in many ways.

The husband can find that girl on the side who makes him just blow his mind in bed. He will secretly admire her and not tell you.

About a different smell

Not all men know that the wife always recognizes the smell of another woman . Even if her husband took a shower or put on perfume, she intuitively understands and feels everything. The man suspects nothing, but the woman digs into her head and keeps wondering: “Why do guys cheat on their girls?”

And the husband may still naively believe that everything is under control and he is in control of the situation. He does not even suspect that his wife recognized the smell of another.

How to behave as a woman who finds out about cheating

When a woman finds out about her husband's infidelity, she can be extremely stressed. In this state it is difficult to control actions. Psychologists recommend a number of actions that will help stabilize the situation:

Calm communication. The most difficult thing in such a situation is to maintain a calm state. More often, girls begin to scream, swear, and show aggression. In order not to aggravate the situation, you need to speak calmly and not raise your voice. The interlocutor will see the calm state of his wife and think about how important he is to her.
Show an advantage over the homewrecker. Don't look for a meeting with her. Contain negative emotions.
Try to end the relationship if forgiveness is impossible.
Temporarily change your lifestyle. Variety helps reduce emotional distress.

It is important not to hold a man back if he tries to leave. If feelings have faded, further living together will cause pain. It is difficult to stop loving your spouse after cheating, especially if the couple has lived together for a long time. After deception, it is easy to recognize your feelings.

Advice for loving wives

Most women are endowed with worldly wisdom, regardless of age. They intuitively feel who will be comfortable with and who will bring a huge load of problems. They will not wonder whether a husband can cheat if he loves his wife, but will try to reduce the risk of third-party affairs to a minimum.

Following a few rules will help preserve the family unit.

Unconditional love that does not require response or reward is held in high esteem.
Do not make categorical claims, but try to establish a dialogue and come to a compromise.
In addition to common interests, you need to have your own, do interesting things and constantly maintain a slight intrigue in communication.

Instead of dull everyday life, you will get a constant desire to understand the inner world and interests of your partner, and this is much more exciting than the usual course of events.

Psychology of a happy marriage

Psychologists advise adhering to certain basics that allow you to build strong marriage bonds for a long period of time:

Spiritual kinship concerns most aspects of people's family life.
Having common interests, topics for communication, hobbies.
The difference is in temperament, psychology, individual aspects of outlook on life.

Absolutely identical people will not be able to live together for a long time, since the relationship will be monotonous.
At the same time, a large difference in understanding the world around them, the lack of common topics for conversation will quickly destroy the developing relationships between people.

Physiology and love

Among representatives of the animal world, the need to leave behind viable offspring is genetically determined. There is an opinion that male polygamy comes from there, from antiquity.

Male love first flares up at the hormonal level and only then develops into warm affection. Sometimes she disappears without a trace after defeating the object of desire.

Women's character is different. She is the owner and does not intend to share with anyone. At the same time, a psychological connection arises much faster, so parting with a partner turns into a tragedy.

Another reason for male infidelity lies in the difference in temperament. Some live by the novelty of impressions, including sexual ones, which give them internal energy for achievements.

Three myths about cheating

There are certain myths and misconceptions regarding family relationships, emerging mistrust, and the presence of infidelity. They create a false impression of a person and build an incorrect perception of the surrounding situation. The most popular myths:

Cheating causes serious problems in existing relationships. This is a misconception. Psychologists say that most men value their relationships with their beloved and are afraid of ruining them. It is important to take a closer look at the environment around the stronger sex.
Cheating occurs if partners are not satisfied with something. Another erroneous opinion. In the practice of many psychologists, there are situations when a family has a decent income, there are children, a house, cars, there is peace, tranquility, and care in relationships. And at the same time, a man finds himself a girl with bad habits, a flighty character, no ambitions and begins to cheat on his wife.
A common myth is that women’s infidelity indicates the emergence of serious feelings; married men cheat when drunk (physically uncontrollable), due to raging hormones. The most popular misconception that exists in society.

There are other erroneous situations associated with a lack of trust in a relationship between two people. Why believe in other people's statements if everyone's situations are different.

Communication Compensation

I meet men who want attention, warmth, love, to be seen as a man, a person, and not just a father and husband who must buy groceries according to the list and pick up the children on a schedule and screw in the light bulb.

Of course this is important! But at least once listen carefully to your man. Just listen to how it was on the first dates. Even if you think you know everything about him, he has something going on every day.

Even if he says something absurd or nonsense, let him say it, don’t comment harshly, don’t criticize, don’t devalue him. Everyone has the right to fool around.

Sometimes it's a way to get your attention. Ask your man what would he like? What is he missing? If he found something in another woman, then it is not in you or you have stopped giving it to him. Often this can be a banal feeling of being a person who is interesting to a woman.

A person who is admired, thanked, so much so that “it would not have been possible without him.” A person who is listened to with an open mouth.

The task of each of us is to look at the object of a man’s passion and ask the question what is it about her that captivates her.

Honestly admit to yourself, “Am I giving this?” and ask yourself, “How can I give what another woman is passionate about?” It's important to understand: you can too. And you have more advantages than the other, since you also know your man. They just stopped showing it.

Here you need to return to the state in which you gave your man what he needed (otherwise he would not be with you).

Remember the period when you first met. This is not only an external manifestation, it is your internal state, it is energy that is realized from the inside out.

Relationship problems that lead to cheating

To achieve a strong relationship between a man and a woman, it is necessary to take into account possible problems that affect family fidelity:

Lack of attention.
Lack of common interests and hobbies.
Misunderstandings, controversial situations.
Inability to make concessions.
Excessive jealousy, mistrust due to lies in everyday situations.

There is no such thing as an ideal relationship. It is important to pay attention to changes in the surrounding situation and adapt to them in time

What is the way out of such situations so that the husband stops going out on the side?

You see, family life consists of many nuances, one might say, of a thousand little things. After all, it seems, just think, I didn’t praise him, he himself knows how good he is, and how much I appreciate him.

But... she said nothing once, forgot the second time, but for a man, this is a breath of air, this is another minus one brick from the foundation of his self-esteem.

Everyone is accustomed to praising a woman, saying how beautiful she is, how pretty she is, etc. And they somehow forgot about men, like they are so courageous, brutal, they don’t care about these emotions.

But these are stereotypes, and our society is prone to stereotypical thinking, especially when it comes to men and masculine behavior.

One of these stereotypes is that a man will always walk because that’s how they are, boys don’t cry, don’t feel, they’re made of stone, etc.

Sad…

Surely, it seems to you that I attack women and justify men for their infidelity, like, that’s how they are, and they need it? No way!

In a family problem, and especially in a crisis, and betrayal is a family crisis, both are always to blame!

Some did not say, some remained silent, they did not talk, did not discuss, etc. and this continues for years, and then, someone starts to go to the side.

After all, the situation did not arise yesterday, right? This means that there were prerequisites, there was mutual behavior and attitude towards each other.

Adultery: can the drama be prevented?

Most girls are afraid of betrayal. To prevent family infidelity, psychologists recommend a number of actions:

When meeting a partner, you need to find out what kind of past relationships he had, whether he cheated on his former partners.
Sincerely communicate with your spouse, inquire about his daily affairs, work, experiences.
Try to satisfy the basic needs of the man you love.

Observe changes in your spouse's behavior. Be interested in why innovations occur.

The husband is polygamous and previously lived in an open relationship

On the topic of what his psychology is and why men cheat on girls, it would be correct to mention the following facts:

Your spouse cannot immediately suppress his instincts , if previously he gave them complete freedom. He can't stop looking at other women anymore.
No matter how much you feed the wolf, it still looks into the forest.
If a man is an alpha male in life, a hunter and a lover , then it will be difficult for him to suppress this in himself.
The guy wants to live according to his intentions and desires , but he cannot do this openly and cheats.

Therefore, he secretly makes cool mistresses, with whom it is cool and with whom he can temporarily forget about family life and all the problems that arise from it.

How to forgive betrayal?

Psychologists do not recommend destroying relationships after adultery. To preserve them, forgive your loved one, and build a future life together, you need to follow some recommendations:

To change yourself. Become a better person in the eyes of others. It's never too late to change.
Change your attitude towards your spouse for the better.
Try to forget what happened. It is forbidden to remember the event to your spouse.
Pay more attention to your desires, fulfill them whenever possible.

If forgiveness fails, you need to end the relationship

Cheating is considered the most popular reason for the destruction of family ties. To prevent cracks from appearing in a relationship, it is necessary to take into account the desire of the spouse, show interest in his hobbies, and try to please.

Selfish motives

The desire to prove to myself and friends “what a cool lover I am”

The reasons for a husband’s infidelity may be the following selfish motives:

Stretch your ego, feel superior . Read more about ego and selfishness in detail on the next page at the link.
Satisfy your libido.
From early childhood there was a lack of female attention. And now, when the man learned that attention could always be had, all he had to do was do something, the man ventures into the unknown.
Because of the desire to assert himself in front of his friends , to gain their approval, so that they would tell him: “Wow! Probably fried?! Wow, man!
He wants to prove to himself that he is capable of possessing other women. After all, this had never been possible for him before.
My husband's friends are bachelors and they always have something to tell about their adventures. The husband also decided that it was time to show off something and went to the left. That is, the reason is to brag to friends.