Why do wives leave their husbands? They lived without grieving, had children, bought a house, and she just left. Unexpectedly and irrevocably, leaving the unfortunate man to the mercy of fate. Now he toils, grieves, does not see the white light, and his wife does not even think about returning home. Tired, exhausted, fed up.
The reasons for leaving the family can be the most contradictory. Tolstoy said: “Happy families are happy alike, but unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.” Every home has its own skeletons in the closet, encouraging a woman to gather her things into a bundle and disappear into the fog.
Because of silence
If a man reacts to any attempts by a woman to talk to him about the relationship, her experiences or dissatisfaction with constant silence, repeats that he is either tired, or he is not in the mood, or he simply does not want to talk about it, or, even worse, blames her in sawing and drilling his brains, this irritates a woman just as much as men are irritated by a woman’s refusal to have sex under all sorts of equally stupid pretexts. And, by the way, one thing may well be connected with the other - a man who does not want to talk to his woman will most likely not receive her desire to make love to him. It's a pity that not everyone understands this.
A woman who eats herself up from the inside with her experiences and accumulated discontent sooner or later turns into a neurotic woman, in constant anxiety and constant conflict with herself and lashing out at her beloved man over trifles. And at one fine moment she looks at herself like this and realizes that she has never been like this before and realizes that she hates herself the way she became with this man. And this is the most terrible realization. For a reasonable woman, this is a signal that it is time to leave.
Rich Pinocchio7
Unfortunately, among the fairer sex there are very selfish people. They are ready to exchange their family for a new man with a hefty wallet, despite their children and attentive husband. A woman covets a wealthy life, the opportunity to visit expensive resorts every year, drive a cool car, and wear expensive furs.
She looks at her rich girlfriends with envy, and when a lucky chance comes up to contact a rich man, the lady, forgetting about everything, joyfully rushes towards the “gold rush”. She justifies her action by saying that she is tired of counting pennies until her salary and eking out a miserable existence next to her husband, a hard worker.
Due to the man’s inattention to her grievances
Of course, everyone knows that men don't change. But, be that as it may, if he remains deaf to any feelings and dissatisfaction of a woman, without even trying to change anything, while she always has to compromise, fulfilling all his desires and adapting to him, it’s too early or later any self-respecting woman will get tired of it.
In general, according to psychologists, if you are not satisfied with something in your partner’s attitude towards you, it is enough to tell him about it 3 times. If after the third attempt his behavior does not change, you can safely leave.
If a man doesn't notice her efforts
He does not see how much time and effort it takes her to take care of herself, takes her work around the house for granted and does not even burden himself with gratitude for a delicious dinner or order in the house, and positions himself as the only worker who works for the benefit of the family, while the woman “only cares about her appearance and all her concern is to press the button on the washing machine.”
If a man does not appreciate not only the woman herself as a person and as a person, but also what she does for their common good and for him personally, he is very likely to soon lose this woman.
READ ALSO: 8 questions to answer before getting a divorce
Why did the wife leave?
Working as a family psychologist for a quarter of a century, I had to communicate thousands of times with women who decided to leave their husbands, including filing for divorce. When they begin to explain their decision, there are almost always two options: “I stopped respecting him” or “I stopped loving him.” Less often, it is added: “I never loved him, I’m tired of forcing myself to live with him,” “I don’t want to suffer myself and for the child to suffer,” “our marriage was initially a mistake, but then I was a young fool, I wanted to get married and have a child.”
In response to my request to detail their position in relation to their husband, the departed wives almost always say that this man did not live up to the expectations placed on him, was not who he tried to pretend to be, and could not behave like a real man. In practice, there are three explanations: “my husband is potentially dangerous for me and the child,” “my husband is a rag, I can’t live with someone I don’t respect,” “my husband is hopeless.”
Each of these concepts, or more precisely, models of male behavior, like a Russian nesting doll, carries its own meanings within itself. According to women leaving their husbands, they usually look like this.
Model No. 1. “My husband is potentially dangerous for me and the child”:
In practice, women mean the following:
— The man is an alcoholic (as a rule, he does not admit it).
— The man is a drug addict (usually, for some time he skillfully hides his addiction to his wife).
— The man is a gambling addict (believing that he is just a gambling person).
— The man is a criminal, or leads a criminal lifestyle.
— The man is a “kitchen boxer” who beats his wife and child.
— A man is emotionally unstable: after a quarrel he can kick his wife and child out of the house (including at night, in the rain or even in winter), and then on his knees asks to come back. Or, during a quarrel, he leaves the house with his things and does not pick up the phone for several days. Leaving the wife to independently deal with such emergency situations as: high fever, appendicitis or injury to the child; lack of money in the family for basic food; a boiling water pipe breaks at home; short circuit in the network, fire, incidents with drunk neighbors, etc.
— Due to his antisocial lifestyle, the husband can infect his family members (including children) with tuberculosis, syphilis, hepatitis, HIV, and other sexually transmitted or skin diseases. A smart woman simply wants to prevent this from happening.
— A man shows sexual interest in his own children or the woman’s children from a previous relationship, and behaves towards them as a sadist.
Model No. 2. “Husband is a wuss”:
Usually, we are talking about the fact that during the entire time of communication with his wife, the husband regularly behaved not like a man, that is, he systematically violated the stereotype of correct male behavior on which girls all over the world are brought up. Hence, after the formation of a set of obvious failures of this particular man to meet women’s expectations, the girl, even before marriage, came to the conclusion: a potential or current husband is not a real man, but his appearance, a fiction! But since the girl is usually very sorry for her lost years, and there is no confidence that the next man will be better, she still creates a family with what she considers a “sub-man” and gives birth to children from him.
But due to the fact that the family already initially had a psychological “defect” in itself, after the birth of a child, the wife receives the long-awaited right to completely switch to him, and the husband, who has not earned respect, naturally remains in an abandoned state. Family sex is dying, attention and affection towards the husband are shown only on payday, the man is assigned only the role of “food” for his wife and child. If he puts up with this, lives peacefully, does not create scandals, the family can exist for quite a long time. As a rule, either until the child grows up, or the wife falls in love with some other man (more brutal and/or wealthy), or until the wife’s own material and social status improves, when she is already able to live on her own means.
If the husband begins to behave according to model No. 1 - “the husband is potentially dangerous for me and the child,” or model No. 3 “The husband is unpromising,” the woman may break up with him earlier, even when the child is small. But in both cases, the woman’s opinion “my husband is a wuss” is the basic model.
What exactly do women mean by the concept of “a husband is a wuss”?
— A man is under the obvious influence of his own relatives: most often - his mother, less often - his father, brother, sister. He makes all his major decisions only taking into account their opinions. And he is not even embarrassed to constantly change his position on certain issues in front of his wife.
— In the process of friendship or already during family life, a man repeatedly allowed his relatives and friends to undeservedly offend his woman.
— A man abandoned his girlfriend many times, and then repented, confessed his love for her and returned. Thus, forming in her a complete feeling of her instability, unpredictability and, therefore, unreliability!
“The girl abandoned her friend many times, but every time he ran after her and humiliatedly begged her to return to him. Having found nothing better, the girl returned to him, but she no longer felt respect for this man. Living in the future (even marrying him) in search of a more worthy option. And as soon as he was found, or in the event of degradation of her existing husband, she was ready to leave, divorce and start a new life.
— After several years of friendship, the man still couldn’t muster up the courage to ask his girlfriend to start living together. She had to propose it herself. Although well-mannered girls do not really like the role of an “obsessive roommate”.
“The man at first refused for a long time and stubbornly to live in the girl’s apartment, citing the fact that it was “unmanly,” and then, under the pressure of life circumstances, he moved in with her anyway. Thus, clearly showing that there is no internal core in it.
— Having started to live together with his future wife, the man was unable to provide separate accommodation for the new unit of society: he either invited his chosen one to live with his parents (relatives), or agreed to live with her parents. In both cases, he automatically lost the role of head of the family, since the main one in this case is usually the mother-in-law or mother-in-law.
— Having lived for some time with his girlfriend/wife (in rented housing or with someone’s parents), tired of the hardships of such a life, the man invites his chosen one to live apart for some time: each with his own parents, relatives or friends (or in dorm). Girls are always shocked by this development of relationships according to the “one step forward, two steps back” pattern. After all, in their opinion, such a man seemed to admit his own weakness!
— Having learned about the pregnancy of a friend or even his wife, the man suggested that she have an abortion. And even the fact that he later changed his mind, regardless of the result of this terrible act - abortion, miscarriage, frozen pregnancy, birth of a child against the will of the man - this man is no longer a man for a girl. Women's logic here is simple: if a man considers the birth of a child premature (no money, job, apartment, education, too young, etc.) - be so kind as to take proper precautions. If you don’t do this, be so kind as to get married! If you are already married to this girl, then you no longer have the moral right to talk about abortion! The family was invented in order to give birth to children. If you are afraid of this, then you are a coward and an egoist. Moreover, the concepts of a coward and an egoist usually coincide.
— Having learned about the girl’s pregnancy, the man abandoned her altogether. Then, of course, he could come back, apologize and even ask her to marry. But here’s the problem: from that moment in time, he ceased to be a man. And having agreed to become the wife of such a man, many girls immediately realize that this will not last long. Only for the period until the child grows up a little.
— The man could not muster up the courage to ask his girlfriend to start a family, he did it under pressure (from her, her or his parents, other relatives, friends) and with great delay.
— Having taken a mistress and then gone through a divorce from his wife, the man never plucked up the courage to officially marry his girlfriend. Thus, showing the aimlessness of his actions and falling greatly in her eyes. And if she then considers it right to leave him and not waste her time, women all over the world will completely understand her.
— A man lived with a girl in a civil marriage for years, declaring to her face that he did not see her as his wife, regularly breaking up with her, or insisting on his fundamental decision to never formalize the marriage, since “this stamp in the passport means absolutely nothing.” " If, in the end, he created an official marriage with this girl, even being a very successful and wealthy man, he will not earn respect for himself from his wife. Because he clearly proved to her that his principles are worthless, he can change them radically. But a woman can still “finish” him, not by washing him, but by rolling him, and get what she wants from him.
- Having already proposed to the girl to start a family, the man then delayed for many months or even years directly submitting an application to the registry office. Until his wife, relatives or life circumstances drove him there. Which, again, did nothing to improve his male status in the eyes of his wife.
— Having already submitted an application to the registry office together with his girlfriend to start a family, the man then changed his mind and withdrew his application, thereby evading registration of the relationship. The interesting thing is that later this man changed his mind again and again submitted an application to the registry office with this girl. (Moreover, it happens that the same man does this several times in a row). A girl who nevertheless decides to start a family with such a man, as a rule, makes a big mistake. But an even bigger mistake, when creating a family with someone who no longer respects him, is made by the man himself.
— During a period of conflict with his wife, the man for some reason declared that he was not the father of their joint child. If after reconciliation he hushes this topic, the man admits his own weakness. Soda also applies to another erroneous model: If, during a period of family conflict, the wife herself suddenly tells her husband that their joint child is not his, and why would the man reconcile with her without applying sanctions, he will again have a pale appearance in her eyes. They won't respect him.
— The man forgave his wife for his betrayal/s or obvious flirting with other men (his swearing and tears do not matter), after which he communicated with her as if nothing had happened. If, at the same time, no sanctions were applied to his wife on his part, or there was no obvious repentance on her part for her actions, as a result of this whole story, the wife will only be finally convinced of the complete “spinelessness” of her husband. This will definitely not strengthen the marriage.
— In response to a specific proposal from his legal wife to have a child (it doesn’t matter which one: first, second, third, etc.), for no apparent reason, the husband refused. Interpreting this in such a way that the husband does not see a joint family future, the wife considers herself free from moral obligations towards her husband. And if she firmly wants more children, she begins to look for another man.
— As a result of family conflicts, the man repeatedly left the family, living with his parents, friends, mistress, in the garage, at the dacha, in the office, in the car, etc. After which, he asked to return to his wife, or returned home himself, or as if nothing had happened. Such unstable behavior does not correspond well to the male standard: “A man said, a man did!” The level of female respect for such a “shuttle husband”, as a rule, falls.
— Having been caught in adultery, a man offers to live separately for some time, asks for a period of time that is incomprehensible to wives all over the world, in order to “understand himself; unravel because you are confused; set priorities”, etc. Many legal wives consider it humiliating to be in a state of forced anticipation of the decision of their Fate. And they are quite understandable: after all, such vague and doubtful behavior is difficult to recognize as masculine. If you did not want to start another family, easily admit your mistake and abandon your mistress. If you are in love with another woman, have the courage to go to the one who loves and is waiting for you. If you can't decide on anything, you are not a man.
— Having been caught in adultery and having promised his wife to stop communicating with his mistress, a man not only secretly continues this communication, but also begins to invest a lot of money in another woman: he buys an apartment, or a car, or a business for his mistress, takes out loans for her and etc. So a man falls in the eyes of his wife three times: he is a liar, he steals from his own children, he is a pathetic object for manipulation by another woman. Hence, there is no point in going through life with someone who secretly creates an alternative family future for himself (especially if his mistress already has a child from him).
I emphasize: if a man did not promise to leave his mistress, or actually left her and was found with another woman, or he communicated with the previous one in a purely consumptive manner, without spending money on her, wives, as a rule, forgive all this. But, only to those men who are strong, strong-willed, and promising for their wives. The behavior of which does not apply to the first and third models. That is, problematic and unpromising husbands and wives, if they cheat, are abandoned. Doing it right away, or spending some time to improve your own situation, saving money for the first time, or slowly choosing some more worthy man. Or the one who seemed like one at first.
Simply put: cheating on her husband makes a woman think about divorce only in one case out of ten! And even then, as a rule, only in the presence of other reasons from among those listed above and below.
A wife will always forgive the betrayal of her husband who is purposeful, successful,
not greedy, loving children, keeping his promises.
The husband - a dependent, rag, unpromising - will not be forgiven
Nothing. Even his indignation at his wife’s betrayal.
Speaking about this, I do not at all justify male infidelity. I’m just clearly illustrating the Roman proverb: “What is permitted to Jupiter is not permitted to a bull!”
— After going through the procedure of divorcing his wife, the man openly robbed his wife and his children, diverting his main assets from an honest division; being a wealthy man, he paid paltry alimony to his children. Then he decided to restore the family, and his ex-wife agreed to this for selfish or other reasons. However, having seen the “true face” of her husband during the divorce process, such a woman will simply be better prepared for her future departure. Having done this, first of all, at the expense of her husband behaving strangely.
Model No. 3. “The husband is unpromising.”
Unpromising is a very broad concept for women; it includes both a man’s lack of success in finance and career, as well as a description of such male behavior when a woman does not feel needed by him, and therefore is not sure of the future. Most often, women mean the following:
— The man did not live up to his wife’s expectations of achieving career success and income growth. For example: a family lives in poverty and without their own home; the husband was never able to obtain a higher education, did not become a boss, often changes jobs, and it is low-paid. Or in general, in fact, the man turned out to be a lazy person and a parasite, an empty theorist and windbag, and not a practitioner of life. Such a man, according to the woman, can give little to his children.
— The man openly degenerated during the relationship or marriage: due to mistakes in his behavior, he lost past connections, lost his position, the level of his moves and, hence, the standard of living of the family dropped noticeably. Such a man does not show any hope of improving his life. Thus, his past attractiveness for his wife, especially a young and ambitious one, dimmed.
— The man turned out to be very stingy and selfish. Even if he earns good money, he spends the money mainly on himself. Rides around the world, dresses expensively, buys cars, boats, motors, guns, equipment for kiting, mountaineering, diving and yachting (etc., etc.), while the house has not been renovated for many years, the family rarely goes to resorts, the wife is forced to constantly beg for money for her current life. Which most women consider extremely humiliating.
— Based on the specifics of his work or personality, a man lives parallel to his family: one is engaged in his hobbies, one goes on vacation, does not tell his wife anything about his life and work, and regularly goes on long business trips. That is, such a man, on the one hand, seems to exist, but on the other hand, he seems to not exist. This state of affairs, when a married woman is essentially single, does not suit everyone.
“The man clearly lives not in the interests of his family, but in the interests of either his relatives or his friends. He abandons all his family affairs at their first request, from which his wife’s patience, one day, ends.
— The man turned out to be a bad father: he does not play or communicate with the children, he openly saves on children (especially non-relative ones), without paying due attention to financing their lives: food, purchasing toys, clothes, medical care, etc.
— A man always treats his wife with distrust, as if she were a stranger. When purchasing apartments, cars, dachas, land, businesses - he writes all this to his relatives and friends. According to his logic, “so as not to divide in case of divorce.” This insults women who see no point in continuing to live with someone who is ready at any second to deprive their loved one of all family material wealth.
— The husband completely kept his life secret from his wife: phone and social networks are password protected; bank card in your pocket; his income is unknown; where he goes is usually a lie; social circle is not clear; what he does is not clear; He doesn’t like to go out to public places with his family. Etc. and so on. The wife does not feel needed by such a man and, quite logically, strives to find someone who will value her and behave more transparently.
— A man for months, and often even years, clearly avoids having an intimate life with his wife. Since a stable active intimate life is an important element of a positive attitude towards life and longevity, many wives decide to leave such a strange husband.
— In the wife’s understanding, the husband has degenerated even in the matter of infidelity: he dates such obviously fallen and unpromising women that this causes shock and condemnation even among those around him. They are so clearly inferior in all respects to their existing spouse that it is beneath her dignity to remain close to someone who collects casual relationships with the most unsuccessful representatives of the female world. And the very logic of his actions and the adequacy of his behavior raises doubts.
- During the marriage, leading an incorrect lifestyle, not hearing timely warnings from his wife, the man acquired some kind of mental disorder, or lost his intimate or reproductive functions. This seriously reduces the comfort of family life and creates a lot of difficulties and problems for his wife, who is completely innocent of this.
Now I will tell you the most important thing. Something that, unfortunately, is usually not understood by those men whose wife has left them. First, it is important to understand:
The departure of a wife from her husband is almost always connected not so much
with the current state of affairs in the family,
how much with the mistakes in my husband’s behavior that were made
in the past, including in the first years of the relationship.
Because it was then that the wife’s initial attitude towards her husband was formed, which later either strengthened or was destroyed. It is this basic opinion of the wife about her husband as a man, and the husband’s ability to preserve, improve or worsen it, that further determines her female family behavior. In this sense, everything is simple:
A wife's leaving her husband is always connected with the fact that the man in question
could not live up to certain female expectations.
From stupidity, bad manners, weakness, laziness, selfishness, cowardice or dependence on another woman - for a woman who is disappointed in him, it doesn’t matter. Secondly:
The departure of a wife from her husband is almost always connected not so much with some
fresh conflict in the family, how much with improved financial
and/or social status of the woman, growing up of the child
or the appearance of another man in her life.
That is, the logic of female behavior in the case of leaving her husband is usually simple: More and more new family conflicts are superimposed on the base in the form of the husband’s indecisive behavior and his mistakes, disrespect for him as a man. If a woman has a small child, obvious financial dependence on her husband and lacks confidence in the appearance of a new partner, the woman will prefer to endure and stay with her husband. If the child has matured, has her own money or has received financial help from someone outside (parents, girlfriends, sponsor-lover, new friend, etc.), or has fallen in love with someone else, the woman may take the risk of leaving the family and try to start a new life. If there was no child in the family or the man pushed for an abortion, or due to conflicts the pregnancy was interrupted by miscarriage or fetal death, the woman is all the more prone to drastic actions. If during this period she begins a relationship with a man from another city, region or country, she will decide even faster to break up and leave her husband.
Accordingly, if his beloved woman or wife has left a man, he should very critically and objectively evaluate his own male behavior throughout his love and family history. If his manly behavior was ideal, he has nothing to worry about: his wife will most likely return on her own. And then it’s up to him to decide how manly it would be to take her back.
If he clearly sees his many male mistakes, then the likelihood of his wife returning will be very low. And again, it’s not a fact that it should be returned. After all, if a man in this case again behaves not like a man and humiliatingly begs to forgive him, this may in no way improve his masculine reputation in her eyes. Thus, it will not increase his male attractiveness. In such cases, sometimes it is more logical to break up and start a new relationship with another woman, but without repeating your past male actions.
If there were few male mistakes, or they were already corrected by real male behavior in subsequent years of communication and family life, there is clearly a chance for the return of the departed wife. It does not consist at all in the man’s sobs and not in his humiliation. And the point is that a man behaves like a man even when his wife has left. Only in this case can she not only return, but the restored family will become even stronger. This is what I sincerely wish for all men who find themselves in this difficult situation.
Now re-read the reasons described above again and analyze your male behavior. This may be useful for you even if your wife does not leave you, or even if you are not yet married at all. In this case, you will know how to behave like a man, or you will be able to correct your male mistakes in relationships in a timely manner. By eliminating any danger of conflicts with your wife and her possible subsequent departure from you.
If you need help assessing the prospects for your family situation in a conflict with your wife, or after your wife leaves you, or you need advice on choosing the optimal strategy for your male behavior in the family, I will be happy to help in personal or online consultation.
Sincerely, Your family psychologist, Doctor of Science, Prof., Andrey Zberovsky
Make an appointment for a personal appointment and remote consultation
(phone, viber, whatsapp, skype): +7 902 990 5168, +7 926 633 5200.
If she always has to be strong
People unite in pairs not only because of irrational feelings, but also in order to make each other's lives easier, to fight together against the whole world for their common well-being and the happiness of each of them separately.
But if a woman, being next to a man, does not feel that her life has become better, that now she knows that she has someone to rely on, that sometimes she can be weak and not be afraid that because of this everything around will collapse, that Instead of taking on part of the problems, the man only pinned a bunch of his own on her, sooner or later she will think - why does she need such a relationship? She can be strong alone.
First love
Two good people met and decided to live together. Years later, the sad wife comes home, shifts from foot to foot and guiltily says: “Vanya, I’m leaving...” And Kolya Kuralesov is waiting for her in the yard, her first love, with whom they sat at the same desk, played snowballs, danced on graduation The young people had not seen each other for ten years, but then they met in a supermarket and felt an unexpected flash of feelings.
In this case, the husband has hope that, having played enough of “teenage love,” the woman will soon return to the family. But not a fact. With your first lover you may end up with a strong family, or your offended husband may refuse to take the traitor back.
From loneliness in relationships
There is nothing worse than feeling lonely in the presence of another person. Loneliness can manifest itself in different ways: literally, if she is really often left alone while the man is always busy with work or entertainment, or figuratively, when he does not hear her, does not understand, does not seek to support her, they have nothing to talk about, or the man is simply using it as an item of household appliances, while living its own life.
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Women are touched by words and signs of attention. She should feel that you accepted her, respect her and will support her. If she shares her experiences with her assistant or someone else’s husband, it means she doesn’t feel a connection with you.
But you don’t need to invent anything special! Chivalry is when you simply communicate, love, and are sometimes willing to help: for example, at least occasionally taking out the trash or ironing your own T-shirt. A woman cannot move on if she feels in her heart that her husband has begun to take her for granted and does not think about her at all.
Due to the man's frequent lies or lack of trust
Trust in a relationship is the most important “ingredient”, and if a man has caused distrust in a woman with his constant lies, or he himself always baselessly doubts his spouse, bringing his jealousy and mistrust to the point of paranoia, such a relationship is not destined to last.
Drive yourself and each other with eternal suspicions, draw “scary” pictures in your own head and constantly try to distinguish which words are true and which are lies, worry about where your man is and with whom, and how much you can believe that he has another bachelor party with friends - life in this mode will drive anyone crazy. Moreover, this will also make it hard for your partner.
Jealousy is a bad feeling
Showing jealousy in moderation can often even save a relationship. Almost every woman will be pleased to feel important for her chosen one.
However, men often go too far in their bias; not every girl will like constant control. Conflicts arise due to the fact that the wife returned home late, and interrogation by the husband begins. Others go further, even to the point of indicating where the other half should be and what time she should arrive. Things could lead to scandals, if not worse. Smart women will not tolerate such a manifestation of “care” for long and will simply leave, leaving their husband to his fate.
Due to physical or mental violence
Undoubtedly, this is a justified reason for breaking off a relationship, because an alliance with a tyrant man can not only break a woman mentally, but also harm her physically. Although some women are willing to endure even such relationships for years, justifying the man’s behavior or simply being afraid of being left alone or leaving their children without a father. Although I believe that there is not a single reasonable reason to endure humiliation from a man, be it only psychological or quite physically tangible.
How a woman leaves
Sometimes - loudly and with a scandal, other times - quietly packing up things and cutting off all ties. However, not all women dare to leave men. The reasons are usually different: having common children, fear that “they can’t cope without me,” or banal intimidation. A number of situations can be combined by calling them “victim syndrome.” The girl stays with her partner until the last moment, until it gets really bad.
Strong women who respect themselves get rid of such unions without regret. True, in order to bring such a lady to a divorce, you need to try hard. This one leaves without a scandal. In the case of an “abuser” man, the marriage ends quickly. The children leave with their mother, the ex-husband’s phone number is blacklisted, and their place of residence periodically changes. Wise women act radically, realizing that the matter cannot be solved any other way.
Due to amorphousness or eternal complaints of men
If a woman is “lucky enough” to date a whiner or “sofa dreamer” who blames the whole world for his failures or who spends his whole life making plans for the implementation of which he does not take any action, sooner or later she will “see through” him or her It’s simply boring to constantly console and “kick” him.
It often happens that a woman, having met a man of this type, “pecks” at the fact that he is having temporary difficulties, she feels sorry for him, the maternal instinct kicks in and she takes upon herself the task of getting him out of this swamp at all costs and become his savior. In her imagination, pictures are drawn of how grateful he will be to her for this until the end of his life, thanks to which she will become his only one for the rest of his life. But over time, she finally understands that he does not want to be saved, that such “temporary difficulties” are his normal state and he just likes to suffer and make plans to conquer the whole world. And then the woman, realizing that she does not want to bear him for the rest of her life, leaves.
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Due to her personal crisis
In the lives of each of us there are crises and difficult moments that lead to nervous breakdowns, and these can strain relationships with loved ones. We become hot-tempered, critical, it seems to us that the whole world is against us. And if we still don’t receive support from loved ones, we may well decide to leave a relationship in which we do not receive any consolation.
Due to the fact that she could not change a man or come to terms with his shortcomings
Often women enter into relationships with the thought “if he endures it, he will fall in love, he has so many advantages, I can put up with a couple of shortcomings,” but in the end they cannot. What was annoying at the beginning becomes completely unbearable over time, and no virtues can save the situation, because... the person is simply annoying by his mere existence.
Others are sure that the man will change simply because he loves her or she will be able to change him with the help of her wisdom and manipulation. And they are very disappointed when they realize that the man did not even think about changing, and if he decides to do something like that, it will definitely not be for her sake. If he didn’t want to do this at the beginning of the relationship, when he was trying to achieve her, then he definitely won’t do it when he already considers the woman completely his. “If she accepted me like this, then everything suits her,” he reasons quite reasonably. At this moment, the woman begins to gnaw at herself and the man at the same time, saying that she is not smart and good enough to force him to change, and he does not love her, since he does not want to change for the sake of her and their relationship. It’s easy to guess that such a state can only lead to her leaving after all.
Because I became independent
It also happens that a woman remains in a relationship no matter what, simply because she is financially dependent and depends on the man financially. Perhaps she has nowhere to live or she understands that she will not be able to support her children. Men, by the way, sometimes do not miss the opportunity to take advantage of this.
And if a woman reaches a level of earnings sufficient to satisfy her needs, she can leave the hateful relationship.
Because of another man
Of course, we cannot ignore this reason. The appearance of another man can be either a consequence of one of the reasons listed above, or an independently occurring phenomenon. Unexpected falling in love, a sudden outbreak of passion, or a feeling that has been smoldering in the heart for a long time, but is ignored due to the fact that the woman for some reason could not leave the family.
Men extremely rarely leave their families for their mistresses, because... morally less decisive. So they are usually kicked out by women who find out about the cheating. In addition, many men justify their trips to the left with physical needs, so they don’t even feel guilty. But women, as a rule, are more honest and decisive in this regard, besides, female infidelity is indeed often caused by feelings, and not by a simple desire for variety, so they have much more reasons for ending a relationship that clearly no longer suits her, since she stooped to having an affair on the side.
Full passive5
A mismatch of temperaments is a serious reason why wives leave their husbands. A temperamental, hot woman requires full dedication and passion every night, and her husband prefers to spend the evening with a bottle of beer in front of the TV screen. Or playing a computer game.
A woman stoops to humiliation, begging for at least a little carnal love. The husband, through “I don’t want”, fulfills his marital duty, gets angry, evades, making the female nature suffer. Some ladies go looking for lovers and get used to this way of family life.
But other people either become free divorcees or find more suitable partners for life. An indifferent husband becomes a burden that leaves a residue of “unnecessity” and “anti-sexuality” in the soul.
