33 secrets of nonverbal communication: reading female body language

Being able to read body language is one of the skills that will help you better understand your interlocutor. Body language will tell you more about your attitude towards a person than words. An observant interlocutor will catch the slightest changes in facial expressions, posture, and gestures. Knowing the differences between male and female gestures will help you understand them.

Usually it is difficult for people to restrain their emotions; they will still find a way out. Depending on temperament, this is expressed differently, but the facial expressions of even the most cold-blooded person will indicate a threat or hidden sympathy.

Kinesics

Kinesics is a branch of psychology that studies human emotional reactions from the point of view of his expressive movements (body movements). In this aspect, the following are considered as the main non-verbal means of communication: posture, expressiveness of gestures, facial expressions, gait features, gaze. It is believed that the information that the interlocutor wants to convey through speech may differ significantly from the feelings he actually experiences.

Pose

The postures a person takes during a conversation indicate his true intentions, more eloquently than gestures and facial expressions. Coping with your emotions is easy, but controlling postures when communicating is more difficult.

Modern psychologists divide postures into three types:

1. Dominance - a person hangs over, tries to look down from above, sits leaning back, crossing his legs. Dependency – the individual lowers his head, sits with his knees tightly clenched, fiddling with his fingers.
2. Closedness - the opponent clasps his fingers, closes himself by crossing his arms and legs, moves away from the interlocutor, and looks away. Openness - an individual who is inclined to communicate is distinguished by a relaxed posture, a wide smile, open palms, outstretched legs, and the torso turned towards the interlocutor.
3. Confrontation is expressed by a raised chin, clenched fists, arms outstretched or placed on the hips, sides. Harmony is manifested in the speaker’s peaceful posture and good-natured gaze.

Gestures

With the help of these non-verbal elements of communicative communication, our ancestors have been trying to achieve mutual understanding since ancient times. Head movements and hand gestures can convey the emotional state of the interlocutor - his overexcitation, sadness, joy, anger, etc.

In the non-verbal sense, sign language is classified into the following types:

• modal – conveying the attitude of the conversation participants (trust/distrust, approval/disagreement, satisfaction/dissatisfaction);
• communicative - used for prohibitions, approval, farewell, greeting, attracting attention, etc.
• descriptive - express emotional coloring in the context of certain statements.

Facial expressions

Facial reactions are considered one of the main indicators of the true feelings of the interlocutor. According to research, if an individual maintains a still face, then information about his personal characteristics is lost by 15%. Psychologists have noted more than 20,000 different nonverbal interpretations of facial expressions. The main emotional states are:

• anger;
• fear;
• irritation;
• sadness;
• astonishment;
• joy;
• disgust.

When a person’s emotional state changes, the configuration of the entire face begins to dynamically change, mainly the lips, eyebrows and forehead.

Gait

The gait personifies the individual's position in life. By analyzing a person’s style of movement, one can judge the characteristics of his character, age, well-being and even profession. By the dynamics, rhythm and amplitude of the step, psychologists learn about such states as pride, suffering, illness, anger, determination, happiness, etc. A “light” gait indicates high spirits, joy, and self-confidence. “Heavy” – typical for gloomy people who are despondent or in a state of anger. “Sluggish”, “sluggish” - happens in suffering, insecure people.

Sight

Eye contact is a non-verbal signal that is the most important element in the art of communication. A direct, interested look endears the interlocutor and arouses sympathy. Looking too long is perceived as a challenge, excessive interest of the interlocutor. A short one, on the contrary, gives reason to believe that the opponent is insincere and is hiding information. It is considered optimal to exchange glances for 10 seconds.

It is also worth taking into account the national factor, for example, Asians (Japanese, Koreans) do not often look at faces, Europeans are distinguished by their direct gaze. Depending on the specifics, psychologists distinguish the following types of views:

• social – typical for secular, relaxed communication;
• business – used in a working atmosphere (when concluding business contracts, interviews, etc.);
• intimate – personifies interest, love, etc.;
• a sideways glance may indicate hostility, envy, criticism, or suspicion.

The eyes are capable of transmitting the most subtle signals of an individual's emotional state. Constriction/dilation of the pupils occurs in a person at an unconscious level, depending on his mood and state of the body. An excited person interested in something will have pupils dilated 4 times. A gloomy, depressive state leads to constriction of the pupils.

Communication between a man and a woman

When communicating with a person of interest, our body strives to demonstrate sympathy in every possible way, even if our consciousness is still constrained by embarrassment or uncertainty about the reciprocity of feelings. Women and men send each other different signals of attraction .

Ways to express male sympathy

The gaze of an interested man covers the object of sympathy from head to toe, assessing the general attractiveness of the girl. A man or guy in love strives for more frequent eye contact.

In the presence of a pretty woman, men instinctively smooth their hair, straighten the details of their suit, and brush away specks of dust from their jacket. The man's body is turned towards the woman, the toes of his shoes are directed towards her, his palms are located in the hips.

Liking is indicated by an open smile, in which the corners of the lips are symmetrically raised upward.

When talking with an object of interest, a man’s voice becomes gentle, soft and velvety. But when addressing others in the presence of a girl, a man can demonstrate “animal” instincts: his voice can resemble a growl, communication becomes harsh and rude. He seems to be trying to protect his “prey” from others.

Ways to express female sympathy

Girls tend to watch the object of their affection secretly, on the sly . They may cast brief sidelong glances at a man, and with accidental direct visual contact, look away and blush. The girl looks the man up and down: firstly, this is how she gains the courage to make eye contact, and secondly, as if she is delaying the most pleasant moment of eye contact.

In the presence of a man of interest, a woman strives to fix her hair, clothes, and makeup. She subconsciously shows him the smooth and delicate skin of her wrists. When meeting in an informal setting, a woman can take positions in which her legs will be clearly visible to the interlocutor. She wiggles the toe of her shoe, stretches her legs, crosses her legs.

The voice of an interested woman changes, becomes lower, and hoarse notes appear. This is one of the signs of sexual attraction to a partner.

The pace of speech slows down, melodic intonations appear: it is as if she is hypnotizing a man with her words. If a girl is not sure of the reciprocity of feelings, her voice, on the contrary, may be uncertain, trembling and confused.

The ability to recognize the signals that others subconsciously send during communication will help you build business and personal communications more effectively. A person's body language can reveal his intentions more accurately than words .

Nonverbal signals as the only means of communication

The importance of non-verbal communication cannot be overestimated - it remains the only means of exchanging information in cases where:

• people do not know each other's language even at a basic level;
• people do not have the physical ability to make sounds.

If in the first case it is subsequently possible to establish a higher level of communication through the gradual study of each other’s languages, then in the second, various types of non-verbal communication come to the fore and become the only possible means of contact.

In situations where people who are physically capable of producing sounds find themselves in an environment that does not allow them to pronounce these sounds, it is the tools of nonverbal communication that come to the fore. These signals are used in scuba diving (dive signals), in noisy rooms (rolling shops, engine rooms), while hunting, and when participating in hostilities (ambushes).

The history of the emergence of nonverbal means of communication

Nonverbal behavior as a set of gestural and figurative expressions through the body arose at the dawn of humanity, when language as a means of communication had not yet been invented, and communication between individual representatives of the tribe was carried out precisely through nonverbal behavior.

It was possible to convey information through primitive gestures, and non-verbal means of communication coped with the task that ancient people needed to solve perfectly. They pointed to prey and fellow tribesmen with their hands, depicted simple phenomena - rain, thunderstorms, mimicked anger, threatened, grinning and baring their teeth.

An excellent example of primitive nonverbal behavior is the communication of dogs. Dogs almost never bark when meeting - they communicate by changing their gait, posture, level of tail movement, grinning or lowering their ears, and the information they receive is enough for them to correctly assess the situation and the status of their interlocutor.

Forms of verbal communication and barriers are not his way

When communicating verbally, we can use different forms and styles in order to convey certain information in a specific context and color. This can be clearly seen in the styles that are used in literature:

1. Journalistic - the main goal of such a speech is to convey to people the idea, the essence of what happened.
2. Scientific – distinguished by logic and clear statements using terminology and complex concepts.
3. Official business is the dry language of laws, where everything is precise and without any epithets.
4. Artistic - here it is possible to combine any words and word forms, jargons and dialect (dialectisms), speech is filled with unimaginable images and colors.
5. Conversational - characterizes both individual dialogues in works and our communication with you when we meet an acquaintance.

Speech interaction can be divided according to the number of people who take part in it:

1. Monologue (one person): speaking - at meetings in front of someone or reciting a poem in front of the class;
2. report - important information, usually supported by numbers;
3. report - similar to a report, but provides more extensive information and description;
4. lecture – presentation of useful information to the audience.

Dialogue (two or more people):

1. ordinary conversation - exchange of greetings and thoughts;
2. discussion – discussion of a topic where the interlocutors represent different points of view;
3. dispute – here, too, there are two positions between which the resulting conflict needs to be resolved;
4. a debate is a discussion within the framework of science;
5. interview - a conversation during which the employer thinks about whether to hire a person.

Despite the fact that we communicate in the same language, various barriers to verbal communication may arise:

For example, phonetic. The interlocutor may have a speech impediment, unpleasant diction, choose an unusual intonation, sprinkle words with parasites, etc... Semantic interference grows between people from different countries, with different mentalities, or even when raising children in different families. A logical barrier is if the interlocutors have different types of thinking, levels of development and intelligence. A stylistic barrier is that the interlocutor incorrectly builds a chain of verbal communication to convey information

First we need to attract attention to what we want to say, to interest. Then lay out the basic information; answer questions that your opponent may have

After this, give him time to think about it so that he can draw conclusions or make a decision.

Nonverbal communication body signals. Nonverbal communication signals. What are they?

We talk a lot about gestures. But gestures are only a part of all non-verbal signals, numerous, but not the only one. In order to better understand body signals, we need to know what else, besides gestures, we can see when communicating with a person. All signals that we receive from our interlocutor can be divided into certain groups. Today we will learn more about body signal groups.

All nonverbal signals can be divided into six main groups:

• Facial expressions
• Gesticulation
• Body movements
• Pose
• Distancing
• Intonation

Facial expressions

Facial expressions include various signals that we observe on a person's face. Blinking, smiling, raising eyebrows, grinning, squinting and much more make up a huge arsenal of facial signals of the body. We will also include psychosomatic processes that relate to our faces as facial signals: redness, pallor, blush.

Gesticulation

We will include all manipulations performed by the hands as gesticulation: clenching the hands into a fist, showing fingers, positioning the hands, the dynamics of gestures (waving the hands, tapping the fingers on the table) and much more. For simplicity, we will also include various movements associated with the hands, but not typical gestures, as gesticulation: holding various objects in the hands (cigarettes, papers), fiddling with small objects (pencil, handkerchief).

Body movements

Body movements include actions that we perform with any part of the body other than the hands and face. Puffing out your chest (like knights and wars in movies), stomping your feet, crossing your legs, shrugging your shoulders.

Pose

By posture we mean the general position in which a person is located and the change in this position over time. For example, a person who stands hunched over, huddled, with his head strongly lowered and his arms pressed as close to his body as possible is in one position. But a person standing straight, open, with his head held high has a completely different posture. Turning the body when speaking also refers to posture.

Distancing

Distancing, although close in meaning to posture, still has a special meaning, all other things being equal, so we will separate it into a special group. By distancing we mean the distance (distance) that a person maintains in relation to other people, as well as animals, objects, and a change in this distance (approaching a person, moving away from him).

Intonation

Intonation is all the elements of our speech, with the exception of the content of the speech itself: the volume of the voice, the placement of pauses, the tone of speech. We will also include various non-verbal speech signals (sighs and breath-holds, smacking) to this group of signals.

Any body signals belong to the above groups. However, there are types of nonverbal signals that cannot be clearly classified into one of the groups, and such signals can be considered borderline. As you can see, not everything is so simple, but it is all the more interesting to study all this. We will gradually study these signals.

What can gestures tell us?

Sometimes even in a persuasive speech we can feel some kind of catch. Intuition suggests that this person should not be trusted.

Hand gestures and body language - their meaning in different situations may not be the same.

Openness

The location is indicated by the “mirroring” of gestures and facial expressions. We unconsciously repeat the movements if the interlocutor impresses us. Also watch your palms: open, upward-pointing palms indicate an attitude towards you. A favorably disposed interlocutor will gradually reduce the distance between you, intuitively wanting to be closer to a pleasant person.

Closedness

The interlocutor expresses distrust with monotonous actions: scratching his head, shrugging his shoulders. He will avoid direct eye contact and look at your hands, out the window, or at his plate. Resistance and unwillingness to contact can be shown by crossed arms over the chest or crossed legs - a clear physical barrier. It will be difficult to win your interlocutor over to your side.

Other signals:

• Touching the mouth
• Clenched jaws
• Frown eyebrows (a sign not only of closedness, but also of hidden aggression)

Sexual interest

Scientists say that women are more likely to give these types of signals, while men are usually restrained in showing their emotions.

A long and deep gaze is especially clear about sexual sympathy on the part of a man. If a man lingers with his gaze for a long time and strives to establish eye contact, rest assured that he is interested in you. Also pay attention to his belt: the man hooks his thumb into a belt or trouser pocket. May also “brush off” non-existent specks of dust from a shoulder or arm to show confidence. Everything in a man's body language will signal: he's out hunting!

A woman in such a situation behaves more flirtatiously: straightens her hair, tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, throws her hair back, laughs feignedly or opens her mouth languidly. Even the look will not deceive you. A little timid, quickly changing his direction, enlarged pupils. Also, a woman may strive to expose some areas of her body, as if by accident: neck, wrist, shoulder, or beautifully tilt her chest.

An expressive sign is stroking the interlocutor and tilting the head to the side when talking.

Be careful, they are lying to you!

A smile does not always indicate openness. A sincere smile is paired with a warm gaze; small wrinkles should appear near the eyes. If the look is cold, know that you are being deceived.

Take a closer look:

• grin;
• sudden slowing of speech;
• scratching the upper eyelid;
• gesturing in front of the face.

Aggression

Aggression is signaled by a harsh and raised voice and gestures. A person can “chop” with one palm against the other. This symbolizes that he wants to defend his position at all costs.

Evidence of aggression:

• clenched fists;
• hands behind your back.

Nervousness

Raised eyebrows and constant nodding can be signs of discomfort. The interlocutor may doubt your words or, on the contrary, worry about your opinion of him.

Gestures of nervousness:

• swallowing and movement of the Adam's apple
• arms crossed, or one hand resting on the other
• rapid breathing
• lip biting
• cowering (not just nervousness, but a desire to defend oneself)
• constant touching of your purse, jewelry, hair, clothes

Boring

A clear sign would be yawning and stamping one foot. The person can't wait to end the conversation. Looking at your manicure, jewelry, and constantly looking at your watch will indicate disinterest.

Signals of boredom:

• rubbing eyes
• drooping corners of the lips without a hint of a smile
• engaging in an extraneous activity - drawing in a notebook, folding a napkin
• dull look

I trust you

If the interlocutor tilts his head in your direction or even leans forward with his whole body, this may mean that he is interested and ready to listen carefully to all your proposals. A bright sign is the so-called “steepling”, connecting the fingers of different hands as if into a sphere. Also, this sign speaks not so much about trust, but rather about the fact that the person is close to trusting you.

In negotiations, a good signal would be to unbutton the top buttons of your shirt or take off your jacket and stretch your legs under the table. Translated from sign language, this means that the interlocutor is ready to abandon formalities and move on to a constructive conversation.

You are being evaluated

If a person wants to analyze you, he may lean back in his chair or touch the back of your neck, or keep his hands in his pockets.

The most common signals:

• scratching the chin
• a man takes off his glasses and puts them to his lips
• hand on head with elbow out to the side

Simple signals

These include manifestations of vivid emotions that cannot be hidden. This could be arrogance (an arrogant look, a head held high), rage (a wild look, a fast gait, quick gestures), sadness (dropped shoulders, a dull gaze, signs of nervousness). The more expressive and stronger the feeling, the easier it is to recognize it on an intuitive level.

What is verbal communication

Under Verbal Communication

the sound language familiar to us is understood.

Human articulate speech is a special information system that is inaccessible to most animals, but has become the main means of communication for people. The concepts of “language” and “speech” seem to be synonymous, although science still distinguishes them. Language is a specific set of signs and rules for their coordination and combination. And speech is the very ability to convey information in a sound (and written) way, as well as a specific sounding “work” (conversation, speech, etc.).

Verbal communication can be carried out through the mutual exchange of information, and then it is a dialogue. It can also be carried out in the form of a monologue - a speech by one person. At the same time, the fact of communication is always realized by all its parties. That is, in order to say something in words, you need to really want it. This constitutes one of the main differences between verbal and nonverbal communication.

Features of nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is a situational reflection of people’s personal characteristics: mood, emotional background, attitude towards others and the topic. This communication is involuntary and spontaneous, it is difficult to divide it into individual elements (postures, facial expressions, olfactonics), this is the key feature of nonverbalism. Gestures, intonation, gaze are difficult to study or edit; it will take years and decades. But even trained people can be caught lying when one part of communication does not match another. Sign language is trusted more; it is perceived at the level of intuition.

Open posture in negotiations

Nonverbalism is an important element of communication, carrying 60-80% of information with the body, only 20-40% of communication is realized in words. It is worth closing your eyes and hiding your hands if you need to hide insincerity - this was the conclusion of one observant English court official.

Difference between male and female gestures

Psychologists emphasize the difference between female and male gestures. This is due to the characteristics of the female and male psyches and is due to the difference in the nervous systems.

Women's gestures and facial expressions are more open and passionate, and easier to understand. Women are freer to express emotions, but unlike men, non-verbal communication is aimed at demonstrating weakness, insecurity, femininity and sensuality.

A man's body language is calmer and more confident; he is less likely to show strong emotions and imbalance. On the contrary, the goal is a demonstration of strength, self-confidence, and power. Male behavior is more dominant, which is inherent in nature.

Let's look at the difference between women's and men's gestures using examples of messages.

Communication nonverbal communication

Nonverbal means of communication are a system of signs that complement, enhance or replace speech:

1. Akulesika. Messages are conveyed through glances. They depend on the frequency and duration, intensity of contact (closely or sliding). The gaze reduces psychological distance or is perceived as a threat.
2. Kinesics. Combines looks, facial expressions, postures, gestures, movements of sociocultural and physiological origin.
3. Tactile behavior. The communication method is based on touch (ritual, love, professional, friendly) to strengthen or weaken communication processes.
4. Chronemics. Use of time in nonverbal communication. For example, in the United States being late is considered disrespectful, but in Latin America this situation is common.
5. Proxemics. Relationships are built taking into account distances and territorial locations.
6. Sensory. The attitude towards an individual is based on perception by the senses (sensation of sound, taste, warmth of the interlocutor).
7. Paraverbal communication is determined by vocal timbre, rhythm, and intonation when transmitting information.

Important! Specialists in nonverbal psychology combine the listed types of communication into various forms of information transmission: sign-symbolic, optical-kinetic, tactical and phonation (sound)

Types of nonverbal means. Types and types of nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication and its types go back to ancient times; most nonverbal means are innate. There are three main types of nonverbal communication: facial expressions, gestures and clothing.

• Facial expressions are movements of the facial muscles that have little in common with physiognomy.
• Appearance can tell a lot about a person even before he says anything.
• Nonverbal communication and its types convey up to 95% of information. These are voice, appearance, gestures and posture.

There are several types of nonverbal communication

1. Paralinguistics - speech additions, melody, timbre, rhythm and strength of voice, articulation activity. Paralinguistic communication is the transmission of information through voice.

Psychological and paralinguistic features of nonverbal communication are the perfection of speech. Characteristics of speech that will allow you to come to mutual understanding between partners:

• Accuracy.
• Euphony.
• Conciseness of statements.
• Clarity.
• Logic.
• Simplicity.
• Wealth of vocabulary.
• Liveliness.
• Purity.
• Right.

Speech reveals social status and allows you to assess the personality of the interlocutor, his temperament and character. By improving the forms of speech, a person will get rid of communication problems.

1. Kinesics – gestures, body language, eye expression.

The kinetic features of nonverbal communication lie in the visual perception of the interlocutor’s body movements. Kinesics includes expressive means of movement: gait, gestures, posture, facial expressions, gaze.

The pose demonstrates the relationship between a person’s own status and the status of those present. People with higher status sit in relaxed positions.

Whether the interlocutors feel comfortable or uncomfortable in each other’s company is determined by their gaze. Gaze and eyes convey precise signs in interpersonal interactions. Depending on a person’s mood or his attitude to what is happening, the pupils contract and dilate.

1. Chronemics is the time that communication takes.

The use of time is one of the main components of non-verbal communication: punctuality at the everyday level indicates self-discipline and respect for others. The desire to say as much as possible in a short period of time indicates a lack of self-confidence: a person who is accustomed to being listened to speaks at a pace that is convenient for himself.

1. Haptics is interaction between people through touch, tactile contact.
2. Gastics are communication signals transmitted through food and drinks.
3. Proxemics is the position of the interlocutor in space. This is the position of the body during contact between people, the distance between them, the orientation relative to each other.

Proxemic features of nonverbal communication are the distance between people during contact and the orientation of you relative to your interlocutor in space. The person who comes closest to him is the partner he likes.

1. Actonics – human actions as signals in communication.

Are there exclusively male or female gestures?

Research shows that gestures and movements can be given gendered meaning, resulting in stereotypes of typically male or typically female behavior.

In our imagination, we imagine a set of signals that, in our opinion, indicate masculinity: a position in a chair (lounging a little, legs spread wide), a full-length pose - standing firmly on both legs, without creases in the arms. Speaking about a man, we can imagine how he can hit the table with his fist and shows obscene gestures. Imagining a true woman, we visualize a soft and languid voice, smooth movements, sitting cross-legged, walking on the hips.

Researchers emphasize that sign language is determined not only by gender differences, but also by nation and level of development of society. Behavior can also be influenced by status and position in society, a set of social roles, profession, personality type, sense of orientation and other factors. Therefore, it is wrong to talk about the existence of exclusively male or female ones, since behavior is influenced by many other reasons besides gender.

Recommendations for men

If you smile too often, you may be perceived suspiciously, therefore, as for the opposite sex, it is important to be able to laugh sincerely. If you remember, the psychology of the weaker sex is such that they easily read non-verbal information; this skill is inherent in nature so that the mother can recognize the needs of her baby

Therefore, the most basic recommendation is to be sincere. When communicating, show as many open gestures as possible, which indicate a willingness to be honest and open. For example, do not hide your palms, do not cross your legs... Do not focus your attention on other girls, otherwise the interlocutor will catch your gaze, which will not have a positive effect on the relationship . There is a gesture that indicates your self-confidence and inner strength, it is called the “pyramid”, this is when the fingertips and palms are joined together. So, if you want to conquer your interlocutor and not give away your excitement, use it during meetings. To make you more inclined to have an intimate relationship, you can use this technique: place your index finger on your lower lip, hold it for a couple of seconds, then lightly tap the lip a couple of times and remove it. This will reinforce the message and desire to move to a new level in the girl’s subconscious. Listen carefully, try not to interrupt, lean your body forward slightly to demonstrate your interest. You can put your thumbs behind the belt, and if you are sitting, keep your hands on your hips, or stretch your legs forward, this will create a feeling of your disposition towards the girl, as well as a manifestation of love and a demonstration of masculinity.

What is sympathy

Sympathy is fascination and an emotionally positive attitude towards a person. It can manifest itself in the form of attention, desire to communicate and recognize the identity of another. Touch also plays an important role, because if you like a person, then you want to touch him all the time, touch him carefully, remove invisible specks of dust, hug him.

Tactile sensations are extremely important in any relationship. They help to quickly establish trusting relationships, because the first feelings a person experiences are the mother’s touch. They give a feeling of security, trust and safety.

Unconscious touches, for example, to one’s own hair or clothes, can also reveal sympathy. The desire to look perfect can indicate interest in another person, a desire to please him.

How to learn to correctly recognize nonverbal signals

By learning to correctly interpret other people's nonverbal signals, you can expand your capabilities, raise nonverbal communication with your interlocutors to a new level, and also learn to recognize attempts to manipulate you.

In order to improve non-verbal communication skills, try to absorb when communicating, notice not only some noticeable, “large” gestures, but also note small ones, perceive the entire palette of human motor skills: facial expression, posture, posture, finger movements and gaze, shift intonation. This will allow over time to cut off superficial, conscious gestures of the interlocutor, identifying micro-expressions and noting signs of deception or unconscious lies. By noticing the broad gesture of your hands, you will also learn to notice the rapid licking of lips that betrays excitement, and then non-verbal communication with people will turn into an exciting ride in which attempts to manipulate you will be broken by your ability to recognize them and avoid them.

Basic elements of nonverbal communication

Studying nonverbal communication will make our everyday communication more effective

The ability to read between the lines is very important in the process of building a behavioral strategy, since various manifestations of non-verbal exchange of information can be the key to many mysteries and secrets. It is believed that not a single person is able to completely control the movements of facial expressions and gestures during a conversation. Even weak signals instinctively given by the interlocutor will help his opponent draw the right conclusions

Behavior: By observing changes in a person's behavior depending on the situation, a lot of useful information can be gleaned. Expression – expressive means: gestures, facial expressions. Tactile interaction: touching, shaking hands, hugging, patting on the back. Gaze: duration, direction, change in pupil size. Movement in space: gait, posture while sitting, standing, etc. Individual reactions to various events: speed of movements, their nature (sharp or smooth), completeness, etc.

Modern scientists have nevertheless been able to develop special techniques that make it possible to mislead even sign language experts. Having thoroughly studied some non-verbal techniques, you can use certain elements to convince the interlocutor of the sincerity of your intentions. But this is quite difficult, since non-verbal accompaniment of speech is activated during dialogue by our subconscious.

Proxemics

Proxemics is based on the construction of interpersonal relationships between individuals using spatial constraints. From the point of view of proxemics, nonverbal means of communicative communication include:

• Distance
• Orientations
• Distance

Psychologists have established several norms of “proximity” (spatial distances):

• Intimate – intended for the closest people (0-45 cm)
• Personal – allowing you to communicate with mutual friends (45-120 cm).
• Social – recommended for formal communication with unfamiliar people.
• Public – allows you to refrain from communication or speak in front of an audience.

An interlocutor who adheres to the above norms not only makes a favorable impression, but also feels more confident and comfortable.

These means of communication may vary depending on the nationality, social status and country of residence of the individual. Gender, age and personal characteristics of a person also matter.

Orientation

Such a proxemic component as orientation conveys various shades of a person’s emotional state, in terms of the angle of communication and the direction of the partner. Turning the toe and body can signal a person's attitude towards the opponent. A negotiator who decides to end the discussion involuntarily turns his body towards the exit. In business communication, seats at the negotiating table also matter:

1. on the contrary, it characterizes a competitive-defensive position in which participants rigidly defend their point of view;
2. on the one hand, it is the most convenient option for jointly discussing problems and developing a common solution;
3. corner location - allows for a friendly and relaxed conversation;
4. diagonally - the position indicates a lack of interest and reluctance of the participant in the conversation to interact.

Meanings of nonverbal signals of sympathy

Gestures of sympathy are very diverse and interesting. And although each person has a different set of such signals, one can easily identify common types of body movements, facial expressions and glances that signal sympathy from the opposite sex.

Touching hair and clothing items

In an effort to attract the attention of the opposite sex, both women and men begin to preen themselves in the field of view of the object of sympathy. Men can straighten their tie, cufflinks, straighten their shirt or jacket, brush away a non-existent speck of dust, or remove a watch bracelet. Women touch their hair for no apparent reason, and begin to correct their makeup in the presence of a man: for example, they can put on lipstick. It is thanks to these types of non-verbal signals that the expression “I don’t know where to put my hands” came into being.

Pose

The presentation of body position gives an idea of ​​​​the person’s attitude towards the interlocutor. If a man or woman stands with his body turned towards the interlocutor, in addition, the toe of the foot is pointed in his direction - this may indicate a feeling of sympathy.

Sight

Gaze is one of the key and most unambiguous elements of nonverbal contact. Typically, the eyes of a person interested in the interlocutor are open wide, the pupils are dilated, and no hostility or other negative emotions are visible in the gaze. If the object of sympathy is “hooked”, then the number of views increases. This is what unites the male and female interested gaze. We'll talk about the differences a little later.

Smile

The person who smiles at you is not always interested in you sexually. Perhaps he is simply being friendly, or he needs something from you, and he is trying to win you over. But a smile that means sympathy is easy to read. Firstly, it is always symmetrical - the corners of the lips are raised the same distance upward. Secondly, with sincere sympathy, a person smiles not only with his lips, but also with his eyes. If a man or woman openly laughs in each other's presence, showing their teeth, this also indicates sympathy between them.

Reducing the distance

Both men and women always try to close the distance between them in order to be able to touch the object of their sympathy. The desire to invade your personal space always indicates interest in you.

Nonverbal communication examples from life. Types of nonverbal means

A person is designed in such a way that he cannot fully control his own “body language”. It is possible to restrain nonverbal impulses only for a short time. For example, a speaker speaking in front of an audience may seem bright and confident, but in real life he may be quiet and shy.

Verbal and non-verbal communication are 2 halves of one whole, the role of which in the life of each person complements each other, since words cannot always accurately convey a thought.

The meaning of what is said can change dramatically, depending on the tone or facial expression of the interlocutor.

A person can read non-verbal signs intuitively. Therefore, a situation often arises when, after or during communication, distrust of the interlocutor appears for no apparent reason. This happens because the brain picks up not only words, but also the entire range of non-verbal signals. The only problem is that this happens on an unconscious, instinctive level.

Studying “body language” allows you to identify lies in your interlocutor’s speech, find hidden motives and true feelings. Nonverbal means are divided into several types.

Kinetic

This group includes human gestures, facial expressions and facial signals, gait features, the posture in which the person is, and body movements during communication. Recognition of kinetic signals is complicated by the fact that in many countries or cultures there is too bright gestures, or, conversely, it is not customary to show one’s temperament.

Also, the manner of behavior consists of the characteristics of a person’s character, his upbringing, and existing complexes. All this proves that it is impossible to try to “read” a person based only on one type of non-verbal signs.

Tactile

This type includes various kinds of touches, ranging from a banal handshake to kisses, stroking, encouraging pats on the shoulder. Based on tactile signals, even a person who is completely unfamiliar with the concept of “body language” can often accurately determine the nature of personal relationships or the status of the interlocutor in conversation and in life.

Visual

The importance of eye contact is difficult to overestimate when speaking. It matters whether the interlocutor is able to look into the eyes or tries to look away, where exactly he looks and how.

Content

• Why don't men and women always understand each other?
• Nonverbal cues we use most often
• These eyes are opposite
• Choose a position that is more comfortable...
• Let me touch you

Hello, friends! Tell each other everything without saying a word... Is this possible? It turns out that our views and gestures can be much more eloquent than any phrases. With their help, you can express a good attitude, demonstrate your interest, desire to be together, and even confess your love.

But what if you don’t understand how to correctly interpret the signs that your interlocutor sends you? Maybe right now they are desperately signaling tender feelings to you, but you do not attach any importance to this, and continue, as if nothing had happened, to discuss the latest news. Or it could be the other way around. They promise you eternal love and the most sincere and pure intentions, but at the same time they non-verbally convey that you are of no more interest than last year’s snow.

In order not to miss an important message, it is worth learning more about what constitutes nonverbal communication between a man and a woman. Having mastered its basics, you will not only accurately read the message addressed to you, but will also be able to express your feelings using gestures, postures and facial expressions. And the world bestseller “Body Language in Love”, created by wonderful authors Allan and Barbara Pease, will help you with this.