Why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave them, reasons and psychology why husbands have mistresses

The wife deprives her husband of a sense of fulfillment and self-sufficiency

In our society, many men do not feel self-sufficient always and everywhere.
At the beginning of a family relationship, the husband’s inner emptiness is covered by his wife. They think they will love each other forever.

For him, a wife is a woman who will always be with him.

Now he feels self-sufficient and safe.

In your family, you yourself can deprive each other of what you then begin to look for in other people:

A wife may begin to deprive her husband of a sense of self-sufficiency and confidence during frequent scandals, domestic problems or misunderstandings. This happens when spouses have been together for a very long time.
Time passes, the wife no longer gives the love that she gave before. And the husband looks for her in the arms of his mistress.
The wife no longer gives this feeling of fullness and harmony , the husband begins to look for this feeling on the side.

If all this exactly happens in your relationship, then that is why a married man will have a mistress.

This is a problem not only for the wife, but also for the husband. He had to increase his level of awareness, work on himself and be self-sufficient on his own, without relying on external factors.

How to behave as a wife

In such a sensitive issue, there are so many people, so many opinions. Some people advise cutting from the shoulder and never looking back, some people suggest analyzing the situation more rationally in order to work out your mistakes.

First steps

A frank conversation with your husband will help you decide on your future strategy. First of all, you need to find out 2 things: what happened in your relationship that your spouse started cheating and what makes him still be with you. If you feel that you cannot forgive betrayal, it is unpleasant and painful for you to be near your partner, you need to take a break. It’s not necessary to get a divorce, you just need to separate for a while. If your feelings are so strong that you are ready to fight for your family, be patient, you will certainly need it.

If the husband guiltily admits in a dialogue that he loves another woman, calm down, all is not lost. Yes, you can't stop him from feeling, but you can help him sort out his feelings. After all, if a husband does not love, but does not leave the family, it means that something is controlling him. Basically, this is a feeling of guilt before the legal spouse. So, psychologists advise in such a situation to understand your husband and let him go to someone else. You will be surprised, but this position of the wife often saves the marriage.

What does a mistress do? She plays the role of an ideal woman who always looks stunning, is in a great mood, and is able to satisfy any man's desires. This illusion collapses when lovers return to everyday life from their honeymoon. And now the companion wakes up without makeup, and her borscht is not so tasty, and her pillows are thin, the mood is not always cheerful... And if the wife remains a friend, then sooner or later the mistress’s patience runs out, and goodwill is replaced by hysterics and ultimatums . Then bitterness, melancholy, insight, insight comes to the man. In psychology, this term is called insight. When the husband suddenly realizes that there is no one better than his own wife, and leaving the family was stupid, the job is done.

And at this time, while you are alone, you have to do serious internal work on yourself:

Accept your pain. Allow negative emotions to come out first in order to pacify them later. This is the beginning of a new journey.
Forbid yourself from thinking about your rival or making comparisons with her.
Focus on the positive, let go of resentment.
Live a full, rich life - sports, walks on fresh holidays, meeting with friends.
Don’t look for excuses for your husband’s infidelity, there are none. If you forgive, it means you let go and never return to them.

As soon as you feel the strength that will help you restore (or break) the relationship, everything will go as it should.

How to return your husband to your family

If your husband has a mistress, but does not leave the family, getting him back is easier than it seems. It is enough to analyze your relationships and possible mistakes to further correct your behavior. You are an adult girl, and you know very well that both partners are often to blame for cheating, so it’s time to draw conclusions.

So, why did the spouse fall in love with another woman, why does he cheat? What did he miss about you? Grooming, care, affection, intimate diversity, understanding, trust, tenderness? Maybe you loved House-2 more than your household members and stopped in your own development? Or did you stop respecting yourself and could go to the store in a dirty terry robe? Remember, analyze, ask, write down thoughts on a piece of paper. You must have a clear plan according to which you will act.

What should you do to make your husband look at you with different eyes:

let him know that you have a core;
rest, relax;
listen to your husband’s opinion, do not interrupt him, be able to conduct a dialogue calmly;
take care of yourself;
think positively;
do unusual but right things;
thank your spouse more often;
praise him, give him compliments;
become his friend.

If the husband spends the night with his mistress, but still does not leave the house, we find peace and remember the basic techniques of influencing the opposite sex. This is emotional support, tactile contact (hug, stroking, gentle touch), signs of attention, help and care. Your husband is at home, which means you have the opportunity to feed him a delicious breakfast, massage his shoulders after a hard day, cheer him up with your ease and ease, ask him unobtrusively for help, and then be sure to thank him, etc.

Dear women, remember one thing: there are no right or wrong actions in your life. Any decision you make will become a priori correct, because you will have to move on with it. Psychologists advise listening to your own intuition and not acting impulsively. It’s better to take a break, abstract yourself and imagine your future. The picture you see should determine your current steps and, accordingly, your future life. Don't be afraid of anything - leaving means leaving, staying means staying!

When you can’t forgive the fact of betrayal, decide on a divorce. If a man is decent, he will help the family even after leaving it, and if not, then you need to run away from such husbands even faster!

If there is a child in the family

Parents have a responsibility to take responsibility for the physical and mental health of their children. A child is one of the main reasons why a man, even if he is in love with another, does not leave the family. But is it necessary to sacrifice the child’s psyche and how to control yourself if your husband cheats?

The mother has a double task - to protect the child from stress. Therefore, it is strictly forbidden to pour out your problems to him, to frighten the child with the fact that dad is cheating, leaving, stopped loving him, traded him, refuses to meet, and so on. Distinguish between parent-child and marital relationships, no matter how much it hurts you! You shouldn’t threaten your husband that if he doesn’t stop cheating, he’ll never see his son/daughter again. Otherwise, this conflict will move to a more acute stage.

On the contrary, spend as much time together as possible, let your husband actively participate in your life - go to the movies, study homework, walk in the park, ride bicycles. If a child is happy and shares his warm feelings with his parents, adults remember that the children were the result of their love, which means that everything can still be returned.

Common female mistakes

It is difficult to control your actions when a loved one cheats, destroying the brightest moments. It is especially painful if the husband said that he no longer loves his wife, but at the same time, nevertheless, continues to live with her in the same territory.

Whatever decision the wife makes, she has the right to it. The only thing psychologists urge is to keep your own face.

What absolutely cannot be done if the husband is in no hurry to leave his mistress?

Pretend that nothing is happening. If you turn a blind eye to adultery, your husband will consider it an encouragement and will not even think about stopping cheating. And why do you need the role of a great martyr? Do you think that your husband will kiss your hands for this? No, all you will get is a shattered psyche and physical illnesses that will creep out due to constantly suppressed anger.
Forgive immediately. A man must understand that if his wife forgives his infidelity, then she does it only once! Of course, not right away. First, you must again plunge into the candy-bouquet period, where your husband is obliged to woo you. With dates, flowers, movies, dinners, kisses. But after forgiveness, the topic of betrayal should be closed forever.
Press for pity. Pity breeds contempt and repels men. He wants to see a successful, confident woman next to him, and not a spineless creature who is ready to do anything for him!
Blackmail, threaten. Many wives begin to set absurd conditions: if you leave, continue to cheat, then I will commit suicide/you won’t see your child/I will crash your car/my son has exams, take care of his nerves, etc. If you think that this will sober up your husband and force him to start again love you, then the effect will be exactly the opposite. He will leave anyway, but then he will spend a long time washing your bones with the one with whom he is cheating. Your rival will convince him of the correctness of his choice, because you are obviously a crazy, desperate lady.
Look for a meeting with your lover. For what? Whatever the reason, you will still find yourself humiliated. And if you grab her in the face, you will immediately collapse in this triangle. If a husband stops loving his wife, but for some reason does not leave the family, then he needs a reason. Guilt before your mistress for your behavior is a great opportunity to leave!
To take revenge. A woman thinks that another relationship is a great reason to make her husband jealous. No. Instead, you give the man the green light, and as a result, in addition to the pain of betrayal, you will also be overtaken by disappointment, devastation, and contempt from your own ridiculous behavior.

If the husband already lives with his mistress, but does not file for divorce, wait a minute. Do not play along with your rival, because she is just waiting for one of you to take this decisive step. On the contrary, be calm as a rock, but do not forget about yourself. Become a cat, change places with your mistress - now let them leave her.

Don't involve your parents, children, or friends in the nuances of your discord. The more your mutual friends and family put pressure on him, the more your husband will become defensive.

He found a lover who is just cool to be with

With his wife, the husband often does not feel cool. With my wife it’s a family, it’s love, an idyll and children.

And there is another girl who is cool!

Let's explore in more detail the question of why men have mistresses and the psychology of their thinking, why they secretly spend time with them:

The mistress helps her husband mentally escape from family and everyday problems.
He has a mistress with whom he wants intimacy and who turns him on very much.
He gets himself a girl who delights him.
A mistress gives those new emotions and sensations that a wife does not give.
He can talk about things with this new woman that he can never talk to with his wife.

Reasons for male infidelity and lies

When such a nuisance happens in a family, a woman constantly thinks about the reasons for the betrayal. Why and why did her husband do this to her?

There may be several reasons:

your relationship has become a habit and turned into a continuous routine, tenderness and feelings have disappeared somewhere, instead coldness and even neglect have appeared. And the man wanted passion and vivid sensations;
you are away from each other for a long time. In order to somehow satisfy his intimate needs, he starts an affair on the side;
a man wants to assert himself and does this through victories on the sexual front. He believes that the more ladies he has in his bed, the more of a man he is. Some other representatives of the stronger sex are firmly convinced that for achievements in their careers they are simply entitled to have a mistress;
lack of withdrawal from the spouse. When a woman pays all her attention to children, home or work, and her husband is not included in this circle, he, of course, will begin to look for care on the side;
a woman stops paying attention to her appearance. As people age, they lose their attractiveness, and you can’t argue with nature. Don’t stop caring for yourself, do everything to continue to attract your spouse;
cheating out of boredom. Often men are burdened by constancy: home, work, dacha, children. He just needs to change something in his life, to make it more interesting. That is why he is attracted to another woman;
total control on the part of the wife repels husbands. Men, despite having a family, value freedom very much. But if you monitor his calls, correspondence, communication on the Internet, and if anything happens, you immediately make a scandal, then the husband will definitely not be able to stand it and will begin to seek solace in the arms of his mistress.

Why doesn't he leave his family?

Oddly enough, having cheated on his wife, the husband is not going to leave his family. Why is this happening? There is someone better - go to her. But this question arises more often among women. Men are already fine - they have a family, they have a mistress, why change anything? Moreover, if over the years of his life he built a house or bought an apartment and accumulated funds. He has everything, and now he can enjoy a devoted wife and a passionate and desired lover, whom he keeps at a distance, and this suits him.

Men in most cases are emotionally attached to their legal spouse, and not to their new chosen one. And sometimes this connection does not allow him to take a decisive step. The husband and wife become, as it were, one whole, and somehow I don’t want to break this unity. This is how he intends to live for two families.

There are a number of other factors that keep a man in the family:

children. The fact that a man has a mistress does not mean that he is a bad father. Maybe he is truly devoted to his children and doesn't want them to grow up without a father;
the opinions of surrounding people. Having a certain status does not allow a person to behave the way he wants. Wrong actions can destroy the myth of his ideality, so he is alone in society, but in reality he is a completely cynical traitor to his family;
condemnation of relatives and friends. A man may doubt how these people will perceive his departure from the family. He understands that he will most likely be convicted. And even a strong man doesn’t want to find himself without anyone’s support. He is afraid that his relatives and friends will no longer even shake hands with him, since he betrayed his family;
family coziness, comfort. It is really convenient for them to live in excellent conditions in the circle of a loving, caring family and occasionally meet with a friend in a love nest, where great sex and pleasant emotions await him. But they will feed him at home;
material well-being. Petty, greedy men will stick to their wife until the end, as long as she does not take away all or part of his property during a divorce. He definitely won't like it;
falling in love with a new darling. A man can understand perfectly well that his infatuation with a new lady is fleeting. Such relationships will not last long. So why destroy what is, knowing that the infatuation with your mistress will soon pass, and your wife will always be there.

The husband is polygamous and previously lived in an open relationship

On the topic of what his psychology is and why men cheat on girls, it would be correct to mention the following facts:

Your spouse cannot immediately suppress his instincts , if previously he gave them complete freedom. He can't stop looking at other women anymore.
No matter how much you feed the wolf, it still looks into the forest.
If a man is an alpha male in life, a hunter and a lover , then it will be difficult for him to suppress this in himself.
The guy wants to live according to his intentions and desires , but he cannot do this openly and cheats.

Therefore, he secretly makes cool mistresses, with whom it is cool and with whom he can temporarily forget about family life and all the problems that arise from it.

Options for solving the problem if you want to save your family

If the spouse does not want to destroy the family, then she will have to dig out the true reasons for the betrayal. If your husband wants to have a frank conversation, then be sure to do so. Perhaps after this it will be possible to understand the cheater and try to build a relationship, taking into account the reasons for the betrayal.

Steps you can take to save your family:

Try to light a spark. Change your image, become charming and attractive. Make your husband jealous and court again. Just don't overdo it!
If the relationship on the side lasts a long period, the husband hides his mistress, then it is better to be patient and wait until she gets tired of luring her man away. Unobtrusively try to distance the man from his mistress, to burden him with some kind of business.
If a man is a coward and is simply afraid of ruining his family, use harsher methods. You can slightly blackmail him with children and financial deprivation. Gentle pressure will be helpful. The cheater will realize how disgusting he acted and will decide to continue the old relationship.

Betrayal leaves a negative imprint on the psyche of the traitor himself. He may hate himself after this.

A hopeless situation is extremely rare

She gives all her time to the child

If a child appears in your family, then the mother will spend a lot of time only with him at first.

How does a baby affect your sex life?:

These are constant screams at night that will not allow you to rest together.
This is caring for the baby, diapering, breastfeeding.
A woman after childbirth cannot make love.
Sometimes, when the baby sucks milk from the mother, some women find breastfeeding a lot of pleasure. And the wife no longer wants to spend time in bed with her husband.

Hence, as a rule, life in bed in your family fades into the background.

The husband finds no other way out than to extinguish his passion together with his mistress.

In this case, the psychology is that husbands cheat on their wives and want more at night, but they do not want to leave their family and child.

What to do if you find out about your husband’s infidelity, but he is in no hurry to leave you?

The first thing you need is time. You need to sort out your feelings and understand what really connects you with your husband.
Try living alone for a while. If possible, go on vacation and change your surroundings.
Don't withdraw into yourself and try to maintain open communication with your husband. Talk about your feelings.
Weigh the pros and cons of divorce for you.
If necessary, consult a psychologist so as not to cheat in response out of revenge.
Do not communicate with your husband's mistress.
Shift the focus to yourself. Take care of yourself, and others will begin to treat you accordingly.
Avoid paranoid behavior: Don't spy on your spouse.

Everything is bad in bed, dissatisfaction

Some women are not yet fully aware of their femininity and attractiveness.

Your marital games in bed may not satisfy your partner.

Not all women are skilled in bed for the following reasons::

The wife is very young and not so experienced .
Some girls are very uptight and do not know how to express their passion and love at night.
Lack of education and limitations in knowledge.
Not all wives want to accept their men's fantasies . A man by nature loves to make his extreme fantasies come true. Some people completely refuse to experiment.

If a man has tried this and that, but it doesn’t change or add variety in bed, out of desperation he may find himself a mistress.

Or even just find a walking girl for one night.

After all, if a wife is very bad in bed , a man can find a girl who is simply better in many ways.

The husband can find that girl on the side who makes him just blow his mind in bed. He will secretly admire her and not tell you.

About a different smell

Not all men know that the wife always recognizes the smell of another woman . Even if her husband took a shower or put on perfume, she intuitively understands and feels everything. The man suspects nothing, but the woman digs into her head and keeps wondering: “Why do guys cheat on their girls?”

And the husband may still naively believe that everything is under control and he is in control of the situation. He does not even suspect that his wife recognized the smell of another.

The advice I give to all my clients!

Remember, it is important to learn, if you don’t already know how, and to always consciously plan all areas of your life. Those. life in general.

In my work, providing assistance and consulting to a large number of people every day, I have been faced with the same thing for several years. With the fact that the majority simply do not know how to plan their lives in a global sense. And they don’t even understand why to do this.

They do not realize the importance of having some kind of plan for this life. Where all areas of life, key points and basic desires will be written down. This does not mean at all that you need to strictly and every minute follow this plan and live according to the plan. But keeping the main goals of life as a guide for daily actions is extremely important! Otherwise, you will go astray, which is what we reveal in consultations with the ladies who come to me quite often. And it will be like in the joke “We started for health, ended for peace.”

I want one thing, I do another, why?

A simple example from life. You want a kind, gentle man. You want a strong family with him, children. And you yourself begin to have an affair with a married man. Where is the logic?

And even if he suddenly, which is often unlikely, leaves the family for you, then there is a high chance that he will cheat on you too. Where there is one, there is two, and where there is two, there is a system.

Having written plans about what you want in your personal life, you could not afford to have a relationship of this kind. Because they do not lead you to your cherished goal. Moreover, you would clearly describe in your plans the qualities that your man should be endowed with. And of course, you wouldn’t write down there a man’s desire to cheat on you . “What is written with a pen cannot be cut down with an axe,” remember this wisdom? This is truly great wisdom. And the interesting fact is that if you have written down goals and plans, then they are carried out with a high degree of probability.

But of course, you need to be able to plan. Be able to write down and be able to put the desired mental image into these actions. I teach the art of planning. Ability to plan during personal consultations via Skype or as part of a training course.

Because of the perception “You can change as long as no one finds out”

Because of television and the mass media, the idea that married men are obliged to cheat is implanted in the brain of a young man from birth.

Guys cheat, even though they love their girlfriend, because for them it is considered the norm and a common occurrence, as if in the order of things.

In some families, wives directly make it clear to their partner: “ If you are cheating on me, do it so that I don’t find out .”

They actually voice it and say it, and the spouse remembers and draws conclusions.

Of course, later the wife will regret what she said if the betrayal comes to light.

What not to do

In such a nervous situation, it is very easy to make common mistakes that you will later regret or be ashamed of. Millions of women step on the same rake, guided by emotions and anger. The consequences may not come immediately, but they will definitely come. So it's better to prevent them.

Pretend that nothing happened

The stupidest decision in such a situation is to pretend that nothing happened. Although there is an opinion that the husband will work up and return, and the relationship will only become stronger from this. But this has nothing to do with reality.

Having received permission to cheat, the husband will stop hiding.

With her silence, the wife gives permission for cheating. The husband will see that his adventures remain unpunished, and will no longer hide. He will stay late more often, spend weekends and holidays away from home, and stop coming up with good excuses. And at some point you may find someone else's hair on your pillow.

By turning a blind eye to betrayal, the wife loses respect from her husband. He will continue to cheat, but without feeling guilty - after all, he was allowed to.

Involving children

Involving children in your disputes is a terrible decision. No matter how bad a husband is, for children he is first and foremost a father, as beloved and dear as his mother. And when the wife deliberately turns the children against the father, their world collapses in two. Complexes or psychological problems may appear.

By turning children against their father, you punish them first.

There is no need to tell them all the nuances of what happened or demonize dad in their eyes. Allow the father to see and communicate with the children to minimize the consequences of your quarrel.

Be sure to make it clear that it is not their fault for what happened, and that you and dad still love them just the same.

Share details with family

You should not tell your parents that your husband is having an affair with another woman. Nobody knows how life will turn out. It is quite possible that you and your spouse will decide to start over with a clean slate and try to forget about the unpleasant incident. And relatives will not forget, which is fraught with discord in the family.

There is also no need to remain silent and experience all emotions alone. You can speak out, cry and ask for advice from a close friend whom you trust.

Edit in response

Revenge for betrayal by reciprocal betrayal is not the best option:

having cheated with another man, the wife will become like her traitor husband;
the woman will most likely be tormented by pangs of conscience for this trip to the side;
this is cruel to another man, because few people want to be just an instrument of revenge;
Later, you may feel ashamed and disgusted that you only slept with someone out of revenge.

Although there are exceptions. If you have long dreamed of spending the night with someone you know, but couldn’t decide to cheat, you can give yourself the green light. In some situations, this makes it easier to accept the husband’s betrayal and even save the family. As they say - in the calculation.

Dating my husband's mistress

Very often, deceived wives direct their anger towards their mistresses. Although this makes no sense, because she is an outsider. It is the husband who should be faithful to you, but betrayed your trust. He's the one you should be angry at.

There is no point in arguing with your mistress, because only your husband betrayed you.

A husband is an adult who must be accountable for his actions. If he does not want to cheat on his wife, no one can force or seduce him. Therefore, the answer must be held by the deceiving husband, and a conversation with his mistress will not lead to anything good.

Give up on yourself

Under no circumstances should you give up on your personal life. There may be an opinion that all men on the planet cheat, but this is not so.

Of course, after such an unpleasant surprise, the deceived woman is unlikely to start a new romance or get married in the coming days, but recovering from the blow after a while is quite possible.

To create jealousy or for revenge

Some men are very jealous. They may be motivated by selfish motives for cheating.

That is, even because of a simple feeling of envy or a feeling of inferiority, the husband wants to make his wife jealous.

Another reason could be that the wife spent time with the wrong people or cheated on him at some point.

Then the man will want to fill the hole in his self-esteem and stroke his pride on the side, taking revenge on his wife.

For example, he sees his wife communicating and flirting with other men at some holiday.

Her husband is often jealous of all men in a row.

He remembers all this and is looking for a mistress so that now they will be jealous of him .

Why do men cheat on even the best and most beloved wives?

Today, I see this from the huge number of women who have turned to me for help, there is a lack of knowledge on the topic of energies, the subtle plan and there are no skills, the ability to create with the help of thoughts. And so it happens that a woman suddenly falls out of this very harmony that we really need for relationships. No longer accepts himself as an unconditional value. And that’s when the energy exchange between a man and a woman in a loving couple is disrupted. The man says that he loves him and doesn’t want to leave, but at the same time the betrayals continue. Why?

Then, when she cannot nourish him, betrayal begins. How can she feed it if she has nothing to fill herself with, simply no energy? To give something, you need to have it. Remember, like the cat Motroskin: “In order to sell something unnecessary, you must first buy this unnecessary thing.” But in our case, energy is very, very necessary!

Not receiving enough energy from a woman, a man subconsciously begins to feel discomfort, because nothing else fuels him in the usual way. Most often, the lack of energy in a couple begins to express itself in more frequent conflicts. It’s sad, but a woman often sees in them confirmation of her own guesses - I’m not good enough.

And further development of the situation depends on the moral standards of each person, and on the character and on many other things. Some of the men endure, get angry, make claims, trying to return the former “fullness” of energy, but will never decide to take a fatal step and will not resort to betrayal in order to nourish themselves, refuel with it on the side. Although it is possible that he will secretly long for this.

And someone just discovers that such a balance is acceptable for themselves, when he receives the necessary energy by cheating on the side, continuing in a family atmosphere to diligently play the role of a spouse, father, and so on. But, as a rule, for a man such a step as betrayal is not easy.

What to do if a man cheats?

And now it just becomes clear why the path is a dead end when a woman directs all of herself, such as she is, to please a man. It would be more correct to work through your inner world, thanks to women's practices, to fill yourself up so that you can fill your man. Virtuoso sex gives physical pleasure, but not the necessary energy fullness.

Intense care and anticipation of desires creates excessive relaxation in a man and cultivates laziness, but does not bring comfort and harmony to the space. This is because the source is empty. Everything a woman does not out of a state of fullness, she does out of need. Going into minus and leading into a vacuum, into energy hunger, everything she is involved in.

Therefore, the main thing a woman’s attention should be directed to is how to do well for herself. This is not avoiding the problem, this is not a whim, this is the most important and primary thing that needs to be done. Just do it wisely and competently. And it is advisable that they lead you by the hand and show you, explain what’s what.

Male patriarchy

Subconsciously, a man has this belief: “ I can do this with whoever I want, but a girl can’t .” Maybe for girls this will be a shocking answer to the question of why men cheat. But this is how our society works.

That is, in this case, the husband puts his interests above his wife and allows himself to go to the left.

The man thinks that he has some privileges because of the patriarchy in the family.

Also, the reason for the betrayal may be that in childhood the husband’s father also cheated on his wife.

Now an adult repeats the mistakes of his parents.

Primary reasons for a spouse's betrayal

Sometimes everything is going well and stable in the family, but the spouse begins to cheat. People generally gravitate towards changing friends, things, jobs if they lose interest in them. It is very important how your spouse behaves. If she completely surrenders to her partner, is ready for love in any situation, then this causes him to think about committing infidelity.

You shouldn’t completely dissolve in your soulmate and sacrifice yourself. In families where the bulk of the real estate and the general budget are under the control of the wife, there is much less infidelity. The chance of betrayal decreases if a person has something to lose.

A man usually goes outside because of psychological discomfort, everyday routine and the cooling of intimacy.

Dissatisfaction with your spouse often becomes the reason for cheating

General factors do not always explain the reason for such behavior; it is important to understand the underlying causes of the situation. Why is a married man looking for another passion? There are many reasons for this:

The wife does not give her husband enough love. With the appearance of children in the family, the mother spends her care, tenderness and affection on them. The father remains deprived.
The husband loses intimate attraction to his wife. A married woman often does not take care of her appearance. At the first meetings, the young man saw his beloved well-groomed and refined, and then his companion turned into a housewife. There is no more hair, makeup, just washing, ironing, cooking. It is important to take care of your body, hair, and nails.
Physical craving and a man’s lack of spiritual values is an explosive mixture that generates thoughts and actions in the direction of finding mistresses for easy, joyful meetings. If the spouse is not moral enough, then he begins to have a consumerist attitude towards his other half.
High testosterone levels sometimes cause a man to be polygamous. This is the most harmless betrayal, since he is guided by hormones, not feelings.
Constant dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction of the spouse.
The wife's lack of inspiration and vital energy. When a woman is not interested in anything, does not show enthusiasm, then she becomes not very interesting to the powers that be.
Lack of common goals and interests. It is not necessary to spend every day together, but it is necessary to have spiritual common ground.
Lack of sense of humor. It is important for a man to be in a good mood. If a woman takes every word seriously, if she does not know how to laugh at herself, then she becomes boring.
Little passion. The wife copes with all her responsibilities, but a certain spark is missing. You need to work hard for it to appear.

Just don’t blame your wife for all your husband’s infidelities; often the culprit himself lacks moral qualities, patience, and education. He turns into a male.

READ

How to improve relations with your ex-wife if she has another man

According to research, in Russia, every third person cheated on his partner on the side.

Marital betrayal is common

Selfish motives

The desire to prove to myself and friends “what a cool lover I am”

The reasons for a husband’s infidelity may be the following selfish motives:

Stretch your ego, feel superior . Read more about ego and selfishness in detail on the next page at the link.
Satisfy your libido.
From early childhood there was a lack of female attention. And now, when the man learned that attention could always be had, all he had to do was do something, the man ventures into the unknown.
Because of the desire to assert himself in front of his friends , to gain their approval, so that they would tell him: “Wow! Probably fried?! Wow, man!
He wants to prove to himself that he is capable of possessing other women. After all, this had never been possible for him before.
My husband's friends are bachelors and they always have something to tell about their adventures. The husband also decided that it was time to show off something and went to the left. That is, the reason is to brag to friends.

What if you don’t want to leave?

Having a strong desire to save the family will require the wife to draw up and implement a wise and comprehensive plan of action:

Think over a way to punish your husband. Without this clause, he will think that he can easily get away with further similar actions. For example, distance yourself from him for several months, talk as calmly as possible about your feelings that arose after the betrayal, scare him with publicity and divorce. Place in his head the idea that you forgive only once.
Limit the amount of your husband’s free time, for example, to repairs or help with household issues. Play it up so that he feels important and valuable in solving problems, as if you are not able to cope with them without him.
Get yourself together, give up the desire to take revenge, open a bottle of alcohol and get drunk, throw yourself into gatherings with friends, hobbies, work. The test can be passed if you do not run away from it.
Maintain a calm and pleasant atmosphere at home. Have time to prepare delicious dishes for his arrival and look good.
Never joke about male infidelity with a reference to your husband. If you forgive, then 100%.
Analyze the reasons for your husband’s infidelity as detached as possible. The more correctly you understand them and build behavioral tactics, the greater the chances of saving the family.

The woman stopped caring and taking care of herself

Because the husband has already conquered his wife and won her heart. Now there is no one to conquer.

The wife relaxes, and this is what happens to her:

Years later, the wife stops watching her figure; she is already satisfied with her fat belly.
Now she doesn't dress as nicely as before, she wears a kitchen robe and has curlers in her hair.
The sparkle in her eyes, zest and femininity disappeared.
A woman is no longer attractive.

If all this happens, then it is not surprising that the hot beauty from work replaced the wife in bed.

Of course, a woman does not have to always be beautiful, but she must be conscious and confident, radiate love.

We describe in more detail how a woman can become more confident in herself in the next publication.

What men lack is the main secret!

Now let’s talk about this “everything is there” in a relationship and what men are missing. Why do they start cheating? The point here is energy, energy exchange between a man and a woman. Yes, the box opens easily. It's all about energies and you need to sort out the issue of betrayal on the subtle plane and see exactly how and what happens there.

In the union between “M” and “F”, it is the woman who is a kind of energy accumulator-distributor. A woman feeds a man with energy, she creates him, creates. Everyone knows that a man is the head, and a woman is the neck. Those. It is the woman who largely determines what kind of relationship there will be, whether there will be a family, a home and harmony in that same family.

A man is a consumer, so to speak. From the point of view of energy, he consumes and thus, as it were, fuels his actions. If a woman feeds him with full energy, he “fills up and goes.” A man then creates, creates, earns, develops, everything goes well for him and he can do everything. Of course, in exchange, because this is an energy exchange, she is to him, and he is to her, he gifts the woman with abundance.

A woman, being in harmony with herself and with life, is thus thoroughly “grounded” and full of good energy. As part of my training course, I help women become exactly like this: harmonious, fulfilled, able to give men what they need and create their lives in abundance. I teach special practices, they are simple and at the same time quite effective. You can try it right now.

Today, a lot of results have already accumulated, read the stories of ordinary people and find out what and how they did so that their lives were transformed and changed for the better. By creating the necessary energy, a woman, in turn, nourishes all the space around her. It fills him and, of course, the man who is in the forefront of space.

A man, of course, is also an energy being, but he receives his main flows from the cosmos. There is a continuous energy exchange between a man and a woman, and love enhances these processes, becoming a kind of catalyst. And then the harmony between two loving souls is embodied in the creation of a harmonious environment for life with all other accompanying comfortable situations.

By alcoholic accident

There is one expression that sounds like “saw the night, walked all night until the morning.”

And if men walked all night until the morning with alcohol and surrounded by beautiful women , then a drunk husband by the end of the evening may forget about his wife.

After all, there is an appetizing beauty sitting on it and there is plenty of alcohol around. Then the man cheats because the male gaze sees only girls with a good figure next to him, who also don’t breathe very smoothly towards him.

Because of alcohol, he forgets about the one and only.

He no longer has much control over his speech and actions.

Cheating occurs unconsciously.

This happens both in clubs and at noisy parties, holidays and other drunken places.

Do all men cheat?

Certainly not. I'll even tell you more. A huge number of men do not consider adultery as something applicable to themselves. Cheating is absolutely not about them and not for them.

Yes, there is a certain percentage of men for whom cheating is something taken for granted. Such a man often does not hide this position in life. Therefore, if desired, such a “view” is very easy to see even before planning a serious relationship with him. Stop! Once again, relationship planning.

Video from the guru

The following video examines the dilemma of why a husband cheats and does not leave the family and his wife. In his opinion, this is due to a lack of love. Learn about all the pitfalls in this video.

What is a relationship between a guy and a girl without quarrels in complete mutual understanding and trust, how to solve grinding - in a new article.
What kind of women do Scorpio men like - complete and detailed revelations from Scorpios.
Video lessons on how to properly tongue kiss a girl and a guy - step-by-step and cool instructions.

How to save a family?

If your husband cheats, if he is in no hurry to leave the family, you need to come to terms with your emotions and pain. Then carry out thorough preparation before the long and difficult task of saving the family. The first stage will be a normal conversation. An important point is that it should take place without scandals or scenes of jealousy.

Having decided to save the family, the wife should listen to several pieces of advice:

The conversation must be conducted in such a way that the chosen one understands that he is being forgiven for the first and last time. If a man is forgiven for one betrayal, then another, he will not understand anything and will continue to be attracted to other women.
It is important to avoid comparing yourself to a homewrecker. This comparison will make it even more painful, and overall it doesn’t look very reasonable.
There is no need to justify or make excuses. Both are to blame for what happened, but it was the husband who cheated.
Don't take revenge. Having a lover as a lover is not a reason to rush into the arms of another man. Cheating out of spite will only bring disappointment, additional pain and shame for what was done. In addition, it is ugly to involve a stranger in family squabbles in this way.
The fight should be started only if you absolutely want to live with your husband for many more years.
Forgiveness must be sincere. If you are not sure that you will be able to forget what happened, you should not renew your relationship with your spouse. Forgiveness through force will fill the future lives of both spouses with a nightmare - with every accidental mistake of the partner, it will be difficult to resist reproaching and blaming him for a past mistake.

Why doesn’t the husband say anything and stay in the family?

Let’s close once and for all the question of why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave them. The most common reasons are the following:

He doesn't need all this fuss about dividing property.
He doesn't want to pay child support all his life if he has a child.
He doesn't want to go to court and fill out all this paperwork.
He doesn’t want to disrupt the family idyll.
The husband wants the child to grow up with his father.
He doesn't need quarrels and scandals.
He has a family home where there is security, harmony, food and sleep. Why break it?
It’s so good and cool for him when he can sleep with two girls.
He is satisfied with the current state of affairs.

Psychologist's advice

When the situation is very painful, if the husband cheats but does not leave, you need to listen to the advice of a psychologist. He will definitely say that everything depends on the woman’s desire to save the family and ability to forgive. Basically, psychologists advise the following:

Calm down, take a break, live separately, decide on further actions. If you come to a firm decision to get a divorce, insist on a divorce.
Improve yourself - become stronger, better, more beautiful, sexier, more caring. Show in practice that you can be better than the one he traded for.
Take care of yourself. Go to a cosmetologist, to a beauty salon, buy new things. Visit a massage room, do yoga, swim, increase your self-esteem. Read Gary Chapman's book "The 5 Love Languages" for many tips.

Breakup is one of the ways to solve the problem.
No psychologist will give universal advice. When a wife decides to leave her husband, she needs to tell him about it and look at his reaction. If there is remorse in his eyes, then give the relationship a second chance. Not the third one. Be sure to warn your spouse about this.

But to prevent betrayal from happening, it is important to realize that a woman can be both a mistress and a wife at the same time. Playing several roles - and no betrayal will happen again. You will have to build the correct model of behavior for your mistress and delight your husband.

What to do with recognition?

But it may also happen that the husband admitted to cheating. What to do now with your exact knowledge? Without having any secrets in this matter, some kind of decision will have to be made. How to do this if you love your husband and would like to preserve the relationship by any means? At the same time, you will have to swallow your resentment and, perhaps, give the go-ahead to his further affairs if he understands how dear you are. It should be borne in mind that even if you try to forget about this incident and continue to live amicably and happily, from time to time you will remember this situation when your husband is late at work or asks to go fishing with friends. This worm of doubt will always generate distrust in his words and promises. Is knowing about cheating worth it? Maybe it’s better to leave everything at the stage of doubt? It’s easier to experience it psychologically: either it happened or it didn’t.

Is it possible to save a relationship after a man cheats and is it worth doing?

The man cheated, but is not going to leave. Yes, that suits you too. But relationships can only be established if two conditions are met:

You will truly forgive him and will not remind him of this again
He can prove to you that he will never do that again.

It is also important to understand that you must behave correctly:

The first thing your spouse must understand is that you obviously will not tolerate another such incident.

It is strictly forbidden to make excuses to him. It may be true that you have some guilt, but that doesn’t mean that everything is your fault. Remember that he betrayed you, not you. It doesn't even matter what the reason was.
Sometimes women have a desire to take revenge and they also start a relationship with a lover. But this is a big mistake and will create even more problems. The family is clearly not being saved, it will simply collapse completely. Moreover, a third person who was simply taken advantage of will be drawn into the relationship.
Don't console yourself by doing hobbies or drinking. Undoubtedly, it is difficult to forget betrayal. But you must find the strength to do this and try to return everything.
Try to sincerely forgive your husband. Otherwise, you will not be able to avoid scandals and quarrels even over minor issues.

I found out that my husband has been unfaithful all my life - what should I do?

The horror is that it seems like your whole life has been a game. Like in the film “The Truman Show” - the whole world is a fake, people are actors. Everyone knows how things really are, but you are the only one who had no idea about anything. It's terribly offensive and embarrassing. I'm ashamed of myself. That she allowed herself to be fooled like that, she was so naive! I allowed myself to wear these “rose-colored glasses.” Why did you believe that, why? Why shouldn't I have believed it?

Why did she have to become paranoid? Check the phone, conduct interrogations. For what? To make a concentration camp out of family life? If the husband decided to cheat, he would still cheat. The problem is not that you didn't look after your husband well. I apologize for the tautology, but the problem is that the husband does not see any particular problem in cheating. For him this is not a tragedy.

Surely every woman has been at least once in a situation where her husband wants intimacy. But you, wife, don’t want to, you’re not ready, you can’t. I have to refuse. That happens. The wife does not see this as a particular tragedy. If it didn’t work out today, it will work out tomorrow. It's a shame, a shame... oh well! Some men approach the topic of betrayal in a similar way. “It’s a shame, a shame... but this means to my wife that I want to leave the family and ruin our life. It just happened that way. Yes, several times."

But for the wife it’s just hell! Not only do you have to get over the fact of betrayal that has already happened. We need to find some kind of support in the future. Somehow start to believe your husband who says that “everything will be fine.” Maybe he will. But how do you know that his “good” coincides with her “good”? It happens that the husband cheated, realized his guilt, realized how much pain he caused his wife, and forever swore off looking at other women as an object of desire. Yes, in these cases everyone lives on peacefully and happily. They go through crises in relationships together, figure things out, talk.

But if over and over again, instead of solving family problems, the husband went “to the left,” the situation cannot be corrected so easily. We must work with the past, present and future at the same time. With both spouses. Your husband sincerely believes that it is your difficulty to survive his betrayal. Therefore, one of the tasks is to show him that everything is just the opposite. Your feeling that the situation is over is his concern.