Not all relationships are meant to last forever; people may realize they're not right for each other.
However, not everyone has the courage to talk directly about their faded feelings: it’s easier for them to do whatever they want, as long as the girl leaves them first.
Maria Medvedeva, an expert at the online publication BelNovosti, crisis psychologist and suicidologist, talks about how to identify a man who has lost interest in a woman.
You should be alert to the following signs :
The number of calls and messages throughout the day dwindles.
First, you need to look at it in dynamics. If at the beginning of the relationship there was correspondence 24/7, and now, after several months, there are 3-4 messages a day, then there is reason to think about it.
Of course, you need to take into account that there are periods of high busyness, but if a man is interested in continuing the relationship, he will definitely make it clear that he is constantly thinking about you and regrets that there is no opportunity to communicate.
By the form in which the message is written, you can always see whether he really does not have a free minute, or whether he prefers other activities to communicating with you. Note: Please listen to your man. If he asks you to treat his silence with understanding, it means he definitely cares.
Signs and examples of how a man increases distance in a relationship
Let us turn to the experience of practicing psychologists who identify typical signs of a man’s cooling feelings towards his partner:
- He begins to avoid in every possible way discussing joint plans for the future, plans for a joint vacation, marriage, planning for children, and large joint purchases for a common household.
- A man stops complimenting his woman and affectionately calling her “Sunny” or “Bunny”, calling her simply by name.
- Previously, some of a woman’s everyday habits, for example, walking around the house in pajamas, leaving dishes in the sink until the evening, were either not noticed by a man or considered “highlights.” Now they cause him irritation or criticism.
- The man is no longer jealous of his partner and becomes indifferent to the woman’s attempts to flirt with strangers. It happens that a man himself begins to calmly flirt with the ladies in her presence.
- He no longer strives to protect and help his partner in a difficult situation for her. For example, he doesn’t see her off late at night, and doesn’t ask whether she got there safely.
- A man stops being interested in the woman’s affairs, problems and emotional state, and he himself stops sharing news from work, his problems and feelings with her. All the woman’s attempts to talk about her experiences are defeated by the defense.
- If a man discusses his woman with someone, speaking unflatteringly about her qualities, it means his feelings for her have faded.
- In the company of people, a man next to his woman behaves aloof and not verbose, citing a “bad mood,” but without her in the company of friends he is cheerful and sociable.
- A man strives to spend as little time as possible with a woman. Stays late at work, spends time with friends, without notifying his lady. Or he takes a mistress.
- Men are afraid of women's tears, so they do everything possible so that their beloved does not get upset. But if she is no longer loved, tears only cause irritation.
- And of course, the man begins to avoid sex with the woman under various pretexts.
When spending time together, he looks at his phone all the time.
When we are interested in another person, it is important for us to know how he feels about us. Therefore, we look at another person when talking and unconsciously read manifestations of sympathy.
A smile, a hand touching your hair, a relaxed or tense posture. In addition, when we are in a relationship that interests us, we want to be physically closer, to touch the other person. Note: If a person looks at their phone from time to time, this does not necessarily indicate a loss of interest in their partner.
A modern person spends his entire life on his phone, including work contacts, friends, and news. But if a man literally does not let go of the gadget from his hands, and to the cautious question “Do you have something important there?” says “no, I’m just looking at it like that” - this is a wake-up call.
Reasons
A man by nature is a conqueror. He loves to achieve something. Punch holes. Find yourself on a pedestal. And this is not surprising - after all, its main hormone is responsible for the ability to perform all these actions. Conquered - you can sit on your butt straight and not worry about anything. But the quiet happiness does not last long: he becomes bored without these same conquests. And if you don’t make sure that he can periodically conquer you again, the man will leave to look for this opportunity on the side. No, he will probably love you. Or, at a minimum, he will want to maintain the relationship due to affection. But real passions will flare up somewhere on the side
In addition, women prefer to think about problems in advance, scroll through various, sometimes the most incredible, events in their heads, and prepare for them in advance. Men are made of a different cloth. They solve problems as they arise, waiting until a roasted rooster pecks in one place.
Remember the joke saying? It says that in the men's dorm they wash the dishes before meals, and in the women's dorm - immediately after. That's it. Therefore, in a relationship, your chosen one often lets everything take its course, guided by the slogans “nothing serious has happened yet” and “somehow it will happen.” He tries point-blank not to notice the brewing problems. And he doesn’t notice :)
And you’ve long since eaten up your entire brain with stupid assumptions: maybe I’m unattractive? Did someone else show up? He does not love me?
Why does a man lose interest in a woman?
To find a solution to a problem, you need to know it in person. It is the analysis of relationships and the search for threads that cause a man to lose interest in his companion that psychologists do at the first consultations.
The origins of a man’s loss of interest in a woman:
- monotony of relationships, predictability, lack of novelty;
- negative character traits of your significant other (constant whining, excessive talkativeness, indifference, short temper, etc.);
- sketchiness of the union;
- self-dislike;
- over-concern on the part of the woman;
- sexual passivity of the chosen one;
- communication poverty in the union;
- absolute independence of the partner (in all areas).
Experts have identified only the most common cases in relationships where partners lose interest in their companion, but in fact, this list can be continued for a long time. Analyze your union! Have you confused the roles by becoming a mother for your man instead of a loving woman? Yes, care and affection are necessary, but girls often blur the line between attention and obsessive care.
Does everything suit both of you intimately (key word “both”)? Do you discuss these points or are these your assumptions? Because often the same sighs, poses and situations cease to interest a man over time. And besides the bedroom? Do you talk, consult, share something with each other? Can you go on a camping trip this very night or do you have your entire month planned out by days and weeks?
When a girl is already busy, she often goes from one extreme to another: she either doesn’t leave beauty salons or gives up on her appearance. Do you recognize yourself from the outside, has this rule affected you? What about character? Are you the same charming, fiery girl, or has an adult critical individual awakened inside you, whom it is almost impossible to please?
As soon as you understand where the root of indifference on the part of a man lies, you will immediately find a method that allows you to quickly restore lost interest in yourself.
Calm, just calm! What not to do2
A woman’s most natural impulse is to immediately discuss the current situation. She feels bad and in pain, of course we need to talk about it! No no and one more time no. A man generally tends to remain silent until the last moment (see about the roast rooster).
In such conversations, partners hear each other in their own way, and the conversation will descend into mutual accusations and scandal. Grit your teeth and use other methods. Don’t fight the problem like a man, head-on, but use a little feminine wisdom and cunning. Fortunately, every girl has these qualities, you just need to allow them to reveal themselves. All ladies are a bit of an actress. Remember this. And take action!
How to return your loved one's predisposition if the guy has lost interest in you
Love is the key to a happy and fulfilling life. No matter how a person resists, the soul will still strive for it. But human nature adapts to any emotions over time.
If you let everything take its course and do not sign the cooled feelings, they can go away for good.
If this does happen, it will take a lot of effort to return your loved one’s predisposition. It will take patience and time to restore faded feelings.
While you are thinking about what to do if a man has cooled down, fill the relationship with warmth and comfort. Accept and love your man without trying to change him. Recognize his right to his own point of view, habits and dreams.
Leave all grievances and suspicions in the past, eliminate reproaches and dissatisfaction from communication.
Take time to make memories together and talk about common pleasant moments. Go somewhere for positive emotions, try to laugh and be happy together.
Try going back to the roots of your relationship. Go on a date to a place you two remember, or do something you've done together before, like cooking dinner or going to the skating rink. Pleasant emotions should crowd out all your grievances and complaints. By the way, analyze by what actions you could alienate your chosen one, how you could offend him.
Be prepared to face your loved one's surprise and disbelief at the changes taking place.
It takes time for him to be convinced of a change in your attitude towards him. The main thing is not to lose heart if you decide to fight for feelings. If a man remains as cold as ever, try to talk to him without reproaches and understand how you can return your former love and move on with your life.
Few questions
Infatuation with a person means the inability to get enough of him. An enthusiastic man shows curiosity, interest, and tries to extract all possible information in order to get to know his beloved better. But the disinterested person is the exact opposite of what is written above: silent, aloof, eyes turned to the side, attention distracted. Naturally, before drawing sharp conclusions, you should make sure that your loved one has no internal worries. If everything is fine with him, then there is definitely something wrong with the relationship.
Reasons why a guy has lost interest in you
The candy-bouquet period someday ends, common everyday life begins, and passion is replaced by habit. Surprise and admiration disappeared from the relationship, and your chosen one began to feel increasingly cold.
As a rule, men are the first to cool down. This happens after about 5 years of living together. There can be many reasons for burnout.
Ungroomed appearance
Even the most unkempt man does not like to be around an unkempt and unkempt woman. Whatever he is, the chosen one should be the subject of his pride and admiration.
Nothing flatters a man’s vanity more than a well-groomed and stylish girl walking next to him, attracting the gaze of others.
Excess weight, lack of hairstyle and manicure, and an unkempt face are the main reasons why the guy has probably lost interest in you.
Boredom and predictability
When a man reads his chosen one like an open book and can predict all her actions, the woman becomes boring and the guy loses interest in her.
To prevent this from happening, you need to remain a little eccentric and always have some surprises in your arsenal.
Quarrelsomeness and grumpiness
After a certain time of living together, a woman begins to sincerely believe that everything that happens should correspond to her desires. If this does not happen, she begins to provoke conflicts, becomes grouchy and irritable.
The man, unable to withstand the eternal reproaches and psychological pressure, slowly but surely moves away and grows cold.
Lack of romance
Regardless of the number of years you have lived together, you should not allow romance to disappear from a relationship.
Continue to call each other affectionately and sweetly, indulge in pleasant memories together more often, arrange walks, trips to the cinema, dinners at a restaurant. Don't let your former closeness and happiness evaporate.
Boredom in bed is a very likely reason why a guy has lost his temper
Men are dreamers and need variety more than women. The same type of sex life quickly leads them to boredom. If a partner avoids novelty, then she seriously risks the relationship, because routine is the main enemy of passion.
If a man does not get what he wants from his beloved, he will go to someone else’s bed for it.
What to do3
Don't take on too much
Often a man's interest disappears when he feels unwanted. We try to take care of him, and sometimes we don’t let him do anything on his own. “Darling, no need to help, I can handle it!” - is this a familiar phrase? She is the most terrible enemy of strong relationships. We grab onto everything, and in the end our chosen one feels that he is not needed. He does not fulfill his male role, he finds himself out of work.
Not only stop taking the initiative away from him with the words “I can do it myself,” but also ask him to help you. Stop carrying heavy packages by yourself just because you don’t want to disturb him and are too lazy to wait. No really. Wait. You want to regain his interest, right? Let him make whatever contribution he can to your life.
Don’t forget to praise your loved one: “Oh, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have finished these bags myself!” “Turn on” the girl. “Oh-oh, something broke there... I don’t know what... something... I’m afraid to go there. Help! And here you are again, a weak young lady who needs to be groomed, cherished and protected. And the man is on a horse, and not the one that gallops near a burning hut :) He is proud of himself and satisfied.
Find a hobby
Surely all your free time is devoted to your loved one, and only to him. How could it be otherwise, you ask? No way. There must be, in addition to work and home, some kind of hobby, something for the soul. This promotes personal growth and brings variety to life.
Remember what you did when you weren't in a relationship yet. Have you played table tennis? Wonderful. Spent a lot of time with your friends? This will do too. Resume forgotten yoga trips and master classes on making handmade soap. Walk around the guests. Or find a new activity. Then your partner will see that the whole world is not focused on him, that you have your own desires and interests. And he will also begin to fear: what if you meet someone better than him at the tennis section?
Create the illusion of competition
Since a man, by definition, is all about conqueror and owner, give him what he wants. But without fanaticism. So that the chosen one in no case decides that you are cheating on him. Then the opposite effect will happen: instead of strengthening the relationship, you will get “divorce and a bedside table.”
Proceed carefully: “Today I was walking down the street and some impudent guy picked me up. Give me, he says, your phone number. I say, I already have a man. And he doesn't lag behind. I had to dive into the grocery store. How arrogant faces have become these days.” “I met a friend, we studied together. She says: she saw a former classmate and asked everything about me. It was like unhappy love once upon a time. And I didn’t even know. Ha-ha, come on!” and so on. Be prepared for the man to get angry. But he will think about it. What if someone covets his property? Such thoughts will make him fight for you.
Bring a little variety to your intimate life
Surprise your partner with something new. Especially if sex has been going according to the same scenario for a long time. Just be prepared for the fact that your man will like the new course of events, and you will have to periodically return to your newly acquired knowledge. Therefore, do not decide on something that you obviously may not like.
