In this article we will tell you:
- 9 signs of a man in love
- 10 reasons why a man is afraid of the woman he is in love with
- Decoding fear of a woman
- 7 types of women that men are especially afraid of
The question of why a man is afraid of the woman he is in love with has tormented the fair sex for almost a hundred years. However, if several centuries ago such timidity was the norm, today guys are expected to behave more decisively. Excessive modesty of the stronger sex depresses and disappoints modern girls; it becomes completely unclear what to expect from the future.
Today we will talk about why a man in love is afraid of a woman and what stops him from taking the first step. Let's understand together the “undercurrents” of male psychology.
How to start a conversation with a shy guy
I met a very shy guy at university. It’s even difficult to speak, to start communicating with him. He won my heart at first sight, as soon as I met him, it was difficult to resist. I wonder what this story led to? Read on.
1.1. Where can you meet such a guy
I saw a guy in the library: well and stylishly dressed, neat, reading scientific literature. I couldn’t take my eyes off the young man. My friend said: “The young man from her group is very shy, you will have to approach him with caution so as not to scare him off.” To be honest, I was bursting with curiosity, I wanted to unravel, reveal the secret of the young man’s attractiveness. But! I am an intelligent woman; before conquering the object of my desire and making acquaintances, it is necessary to fully study and understand its characteristics. Do you analyze the guys you like?
Reasons for shyness in men
Google suggested why every young man can be shy. Let's take out some pieces of paper, girls, and write down:
2.1. Uncertainty all the time from an early age
Most psychologists believe: “Shyness comes from childhood.” When the man was still a boy, his parents, friends, and relatives could laugh at his feelings, which left a psychological trauma on his soul and made him shy. A dominant mother, a strict woman with an imperious character who does not tolerate objections, could create fear and a feeling of insecurity in her son and extinguish any initiative on his part. The reasons are different. What unites them is that during the formation of personality, in early childhood, something unpleasant happened that left a mark on the man’s soul.
2.2. Low self-esteem
Often the reason is self-rejection. He considers himself an “ugly duckling”, not attractive enough. Stupidity, right? I think no! Too great demands on oneself, constant self-criticism could make everyone timid, quiet, withdrawn, and distant from society.
2.3. Just the presence of female hormones
The most interesting. I read it and was surprised! It turns out that the manifestation of shyness in certain men is due to female hormones. No, don’t think about it, they are inherent in every man, but if androgens exceed the norm, then the gentleman “fills with paint” simply when looked at by the opposite sex.
Trying to become better
For example, he may quit smoking after many years of experience. Moreover, it will be easy for him to give up bad habits; under the influence of love, this will be painless and natural.
He is even ready to refuse to meet with his friends if his girlfriend needs him that evening to take her dog to the veterinarian. In general, her interests are now becoming the main ones and overshadowing her friends and even, at times, relatives and friends.
If previously I might not have paid much attention to my own appearance,
now, in order to please his beloved, he begins to shave every day, buys beautiful shirts, and even wears the same socks. Begins to become interested in new perfumes and men's cosmetics. Perhaps he signs up for the sports section. Such improvements indicate that the man has someone to try for.
Strives with redoubled force for material well-being.
This applies primarily to adult men. After all, he is now in love and hopes, of course, that this relationship will become serious and stable, and a family needs a good financial base. Therefore, he believes that he needs to work hard now so that in the future your family will not be in need.
The man begins to watch his speech.
Even if he works as a mechanic at a factory and the main things in his vocabulary are obscene folk phrases and expressions, he will try to use them as little as possible when talking to you.
Signs of a shy guy
The friend finally got tired of the questions about Mr. X, she said that they had been studying together for a long time, and listed several signs of a classmate’s shyness. I'll tell you now. Do you think my friend is right, the guy is really timid?
4.1. Sight
Avoids gaze, feels constrained. When she asked about homework, he looked in the other direction: at the table, the floor, out the window. The young man did not look him in the eyes.
4.2. Blush on the cheeks
Blushes. One day, the head of the group (a beautiful, attractive girl) approached our hero and invited him to a university party, he politely refused, a bright blush appeared on his face.
4.3. Quiet and slurred speech
Stutters. Despite the fact that he has oratorical qualities, he answers in classes clearly and correctly, during a personal dialogue with a woman he finds it difficult to connect two words, his speech becomes quiet and unintelligible. Having analyzed the signs, the conclusion is this: the object of my desire is quite shy. I will find an approach to a shy guy!
Pay close attention to his body language
We have already talked about how to see obvious signs of attention and recognize love in a completely closed guy. But what if he behaves completely normally: he doesn’t show his cards to you, but he doesn’t mask his feelings with the utmost caution? This is the most difficult case when you will have to be as attentive as possible and catch all the signals coming from him, even if he did not try to send them.
Without exception, all guys, like girls, subconsciously signal their sympathy for a person
. This can include involuntary timid glances that you throw at each other against your own will. Trembling knees and slurred speech, a deep blush on the cheeks... But there are also less obvious signs that also relate to body language.
If a guy likes you, he will subconsciously reveal
all their movements are towards you.
Imagine that you are communicating in a large, lively company: no matter who he talks to or who he addresses, if there is sympathy, the toes of his shoes will definitely be turned in your direction. This applies not only to shoes, but to hands and posture in general - it will be directed at you
, as if conducive to an open conversation.
In addition, a guy in love always unconsciously repeats the facial expressions of his object of desire
– smiles, frowns, bites his lip, and so on. But even if you haven’t noticed any of the signs described in the article, don’t despair: all guys are different, and they also show their feelings in different ways. One day you will definitely notice something that will mark the beginning of a sincere and trusting relationship between you.
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Video: What a girl looks like through the eyes of a guy in love
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At school age, almost everyone hides the feelings that arise in relation to one or another classmate or neighbor.
This is repeated more than once or twice, and over time this secrecy becomes a habit.
It has been noticed that men in general are noticeably shyer than women.
However, it's not just shyness. There is also usually uncertainty and fear present.
What to do and how to attract the attention of a timid guy
We figured it out, understood the reasons, signs of shyness, you need to internally feel what to do. How to attract attention, stir up a shy guy? How to approach and speak correctly? What can I do to make the guy guess about my feelings? How to fall in love with yourself? Dating by correspondence is hardly appropriate here.
5.1. Be bold - meet the guy first
Waiting for the gentleman’s first step is long and pointless; I like to meet people first. Gone are the days when knights, putting on armor, grabbing a sword, conquered beautiful women. The modern world is simpler, more interesting, more mobile. Do you think so? What have I done? She came up and said: “Hello.” My timid guy was shy, but answered. For more comfortable communication, I started a dialogue about my studies, and then... Interesting?
What kind of girls do boys like?
There is an opinion that it is necessary to meet certain standards: to have a thin waist, long legs and hair, lush eyelashes. Supposedly, then you can attract the attention of a guy, and if you don’t have such eyelashes, then you’ll be an old maid all your life. This is wrong.
Model standards are formed by fashion magazines to demonstrate clothing, cosmetics, and underwear. But they have nothing to do with real life, this is only a professional indicator, it is needed to make the product on display pleasant to look at. And boys are attracted to different girls, just as boys can be different: tall, short, addicted and monogamous.
The main thing is to look after yourself
:
- Neat hairstyle, clean hair;
- Use deodorant regularly;
- It is unacceptable to wear stale clothes. It should be clean and ironed. Try to choose it harmoniously, stick to a certain style, and match the situation. The school is official, the street is comfortable;
- Your modesty is not a flaw, but a virtue. She prevents you from coming up and asking or telling you directly about your feelings, but at the same time she makes you stand out among your noisy friends.
Be interesting and passionate: visit theaters, museums, play sports. Intelligent people with whom it is interesting to talk and spend time have the right to external shortcomings; they are invisible behind their rich inner world.
How to get a shy guy to talk
Of course it's interesting! If you are reading my story, then how to talk to a shy person. Find tips on how to get an embarrassed guy to talk:
6.1. Find out the guy's interests
Choose topics that interest the guy. If you see a book club badge on a backpack, ask why the guy is wearing the badge and everything related to a topic that interests him. Further topics about books and heroes will come up. An uncomfortable conversation will become a friendly conversation. It is important to stop asking questions that require a detailed, complete answer. It will be easier to carry on a conversation, the object of adoration will be able to relax.
6.2. Start by dancing and touching each other
We decided to meet at a party where he is standing, bored - in this case, invite him to dance, spend time together. If the guy is shy, there will be no refusal. When you are close, you can start a conversation, touch each other, feel the warmth. Take him by the hands. Feel his hand in yours.
6.3. Use compliments
Start with praise and admiration. Start a dialogue: “I thought there wasn’t a person at the university who read or was interested in Stephen Covey. I am sincerely glad to have the opportunity to communicate with a like-minded person. My name is Katya. Your name?" Girls, especially do not confuse praise with flattery. Give compliments sincerely, from the heart. A shy guy is pleased to hear kind words, he will blossom and become more confident.
What mistakes should you avoid?
In pursuit of their loved ones, some girls lose their minds. Keep your mind clear:
- Don't stop communicating with friends, don't focus on the object of your adoration. No one knows whether the relationship will work out or not, but a good friend will be there if you yourself do not forget about him;
- In case of reciprocity, do not let him get close right away. There must be limited space for the first time, let him prove his words with his actions. Do not literally demand heroic deeds from him. Just be careful, prudent and wise. In addition, unapproachable girls attract more;
- Try to talk less about your experiences to others. You can share it with one friend, but you shouldn’t chat on every corner. Happiness loves silence.
Life does not stop, even if you are constantly tormented by doubts now. This way it even becomes more interesting, full of experiences, emotions and expectations - this is youth, which is always unique.
Everything is individual, you cannot fit all boys into one standard of behavior. And if you are still tormented by the question of how to find out if a boy likes you, read the article again. Its main goal is to make it clear: if you can’t ask directly, observe and draw conclusions
.
How to understand the feelings of a shy man
I hope you have already met the boyfriend of your dreams, go on dates, and enthusiastically discuss various topics. He became less shy, afraid of glances, signs of attention from you, the following problem arises: “How can you tell if a young man is experiencing tender feelings?” Shows emotions with restraint, looks closely, studies. Are there signs indicating tender feelings? How can you feel like you are liked? How do you know that he is also interested in a relationship with you? I can tell you from experience: “It took a while to figure it out.” How did it happen? I'll tell you now.
Gets romantic
His character changes towards softness. He will not allow himself to raise his voice to his beloved, he becomes “white and fluffy” next to her, despite his black belt in karate. Moreover, with the rest he behaves as usual, perhaps even more harshly. And only with you he simply “melts”. A man can allow himself to “bloom” like this only if he is truly in love.
A guy in love is very attentive to the needs of his beloved. His memory, intuition and all other senses become sharper. He will definitely find out whether she is comfortable, whether she is happy with the choice of restaurant, and will constantly be interested in such trifles. He wants to take care and, in fact, is already doing it.
A man in love changes his behavior towards being more in the clouds. He constantly hums something, whistles, and is in high spirits. And when he sees his beloved, his emotions can go off scale.
Signs of falling in love
The main thing is to never ask about feelings directly. Assertiveness and directness will scare away a person. How to communicate with a young man? Just watch the action. His behavior will tell about his tender feelings:
8.1. Views on the object of love
With your peripheral vision, catch the gaze of a young man in love. He looks, admires, tries not to show interest. Don't make sudden movements, but try to be noticed. Enjoy the close attention and interest for now. The bell rings - sympathy arises, the guy’s attention grows exponentially.
8.2. Anonymous gifts
Anonymous notes, gifts. The guy will want the recipient of the little secret to be a specific girl, not her many friends or acquaintances. Let others boast to their friends. Keep the gift carefully and open it at home. The gentleman will definitely appreciate this act.
8.3. Unexpected meetings
Get ready for unexpected meetings, secret surveillance in the gym, cafeteria, and corridors. Probably an accident. But an accident happens once, twice, three times is a pattern, four times is a system. Think about it.
8.4. Dating
The rapprochement has already moved to a new level. He will suggest going for a walk, going to a theater performance, and then sitting in the park. Without a doubt, the guy experiences unimaginable feelings.
8.5. Touching stories
We figured out how a shy young man in love behaves. I tell the story, remembering the first letter near the locker. There is trepidation, excitement, and emotions in my soul. Nice, touching. Has this ever happened to my readers? I want to know. For the first time in my life history, something that happened was unforgettable.
Rules for communicating with a very shy man
I want to dilute the barrel of honey with a fly in the ointment. There are several rules for how to conduct a relationship with a very shy man, which will help you not to scare off, win over, and attract a timid suitor in the first stages of communication.
9.1. The girl should speak in a pleasant tone
Speak in a pleasant, soft tone. The guy doesn't like rude, impolite girls. He sees it as vulgarity. They find them repulsive.
9.2. Don't criticize or judge
Leave judgment and ridicule outside of communication. A guy in love won't understand jokes. Shy boys find it difficult to hear criticism. There is little self-confidence; any wrong word can hurt and offend. Do you want to achieve a different result?
9.3. Respect personal space
It's important to let yourself be alone. Each time the young man was left alone with his own thoughts. I want to be with a man 24/7, but personal space comes first. Give him a break, don't put pressure on him. He should be quiet and think.
9.4. Be more tactful
Explicit topics are taboo. If a guy is shy, he always blushes as soon as he sees a representative of the opposite sex. Why make me blush more? Sentence: “Are you shy in every situation?” - banned. This certainly won’t help him relax. Tactlessness is costly. Because of this, you risk losing the person forever.
9.5. He doesn't like it if you flirt with other men
Don't try to make someone jealous. These actions will repel the young man. A completely useless activity. He will think badly rather than show any strong emotions.
9.6. Set aside intimacy
Save sex and kissing for later. Why might a guy react negatively? He may turn out to be a virgin. A young man should get to know the girl and gain confidence next to her. Open up, trust. After going through a period of adaptation to a representative of the opposite sex, a man is able to talk about physical intimacy.
9.7. Introduce only those close to you
Don't force you to meet friends or go to parties. Shy men love a calm, measured lifestyle, he should get used to your family. They are not recluses, they just have different interests. Does the young man like board games? Ask if the man would mind if you invite a couple of friends over to play.
Jealous
He will vigilantly watch your every move, especially if he has the appropriate character. Burning possessive instincts awaken in him, and he, of course, will try to protect his woman from the “encroachments” of strangers.
A lover, in principle, does not tolerate well if some men hang around his beloved woman, even if you work together and have to resolve work issues.
Even if a man is secretly in love, his feelings will definitely find a way out. After he sees you in the company of other men, he may become tougher, irritable or absent-minded.
10. A shy guy is the best husband and father
Phew, revealed every nuance. I understand, I thought for a second and thought: “Do I really want to win a man’s affection?” There are a lot of rules, everything needs to be taken into account: how you like it, hold it, remember the steps. Believe me, the game is definitely worth the candle. In a modest partner you will find reliable support, love, and support. Shyness is not a vice, a little decoration of a handsome prince. A shy person often turns out to be a great husband and responsible father.
Advantages of modest young people
Shy men have a lot of positive qualities:
- Delicacy;
- Courtesy
- Sympathy, empathy;
- Emotional, physical attachment to the object of love;
- Attention to your other half.
- The ability to feel subtly and scrupulously control one’s behavior
I used to think: “It’s boring with a modest guy, he keeps to himself, he’s shy, he’s afraid of everything, he’s stingy with emotions.” I was definitely wrong. Shyness is completely different and manifests itself in different ways. A modest miracle, while walking in the park, jumped into the river to save a puppy, and tried to confess his sympathy for almost a month. Paradox of psychology Does a person combine courage and strength, embarrassment and uncertainty?
Distinctive features of Skomnyags
Psychologists associate these facts with the characteristics of shy people:
12.1. Bravery
People think that a young man who blushes at the sight of a beautiful girl is unlikely to be capable of decisive actions, but quiet, modest gentlemen are ready to perform heroic deeds, unlike the brutal “upstarts”. The latter use charisma, a beautiful body, charm, but turn out to be mere cowards.
12.2. Taciturnity
A shy young man usually doesn’t talk much, so this leads to the thought: “Shy people are social phobes or sociopaths.” The situation is different. Men sincerely want to communicate, exchange messages, make friends, and find the love of their only woman. Confusion prevents you from making up your mind, saying “hello,” or declaring your love.
12.3. Ability to listen and support
Prepare to talk a lot and listen little. A man will become a good listener, a gentle friend, and a soul mate for a girl. If he has fallen in love, he will avoid sensitive, uncomfortable topics, try to discuss within the limits of what is permitted, sympathize, and support. How important is it for your other half to understand and be able to empathize? Agree, this is a very important feature.
12.4. Anxiety
Many people notice low self-esteem and increased anxiety in embarrassed men. At first you will see the peculiarities, but when the young man has a close friend, love, a woman who idolizes his partner, he will feel beautiful, attractive, significant.
12.5. Stability in life
Timid young men are stable and unstable to sudden changes. Good bad? The fact remains a fact. Changes in life are at the limit of possibilities. It will take courage from a shy person to change a job, a house, a car, or any thing. Because there is nothing more important to him than stability. Stability has obvious advantages: a guy in love will forever remain with his beloved girl, he takes her seriously, will not refuse help, will not pay attention to petty, insignificant quarrels, squabbles, will not change, will become a reliable support, support.
12.6. Vulnerability and sensuality
A man is vulnerable, sensitive. Very shy men have persistent, deep emotions. A guy in love tries to do something nice, cook breakfast, pick him up from work, please him in bed. Show attention in his direction, make pleasant surprises. He will appreciate it. The advantages are obvious; you can easily build strong relationships with such a young man. “What happened to the boyfriend, did the attempts lead to results?” - ask you to tell. We spend time together, next to me my beloved opens up, I blossom, become sensitive, tender. It's up to you to decide whether you want to be friends with a timid guy, throw in the towel, it's better to do it and regret it than not to do it and regret it. Go for it!
Love for beauty
Let's speak frankly. Everyone loves beautiful people.
So the answer to the question “Do guys like beautiful girls?” is quite obvious - they love it, and how!
It’s not for nothing that Playboy magazine enjoyed wild success for so many years, and beauties in bikinis were photographed for calendars. It was not for nothing that soldiers during the war kept photographs of beautiful women close to their hearts - wives, girlfriends or movie stars of that time.
Girls with chiseled figures and angelic faces invariably become the main heroines of melodramas. Take for example the film “Malena” directed by Giuseppe Tornatore. They invited none other than Monica Bellucci to play the role of the fatal beauty who drove all the men in the city crazy. A woman whose beauty has been praised for several decades.
Men love beautiful women. But here’s the rub: not everyone dares to approach an attractive stranger and take the first step.
Why? Because men (but not all) really feel embarrassed when they meet the eyes of a girl whose appearance takes your breath away.
Modesty is a plus, not a minus
In the modern world, modesty is more of a plus than a minus. When persistent, pushy young men are everywhere, thinking that arrogance is the second happiness, a shy young man is a rarity, a diamond. When the men around you want to “show off” and show superiority, quiet modest men remember the important human qualities that girls value: respect, care, maintaining distance, politeness, courtesy, patience, attention to detail. I hope my experience will help you figure out what to do if you want to win and keep a shy gentleman.
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Always ready to help your loved one
He will not deny, make excuses, or find some vague reasons for refusing her request. Most likely, he even wants the woman to ask him for something.
Therefore, if you need help, and a man is happy to do something for you, then he definitely cares about you. After all, men really don’t like to strain themselves in principle and will only do something for people they really value. All this in order to earn her trust, and so that the girl she loves believes that she can rely on him. He wants to be the best for her.
A lover always finds time for his woman. Even if he is very busy at work, he will still come to see her in the evening.
