What to do if the mood has been spoiled - it was good or just ordinary and just like that, when we least expect it, someone takes it and throws a spear at us. Maybe even with poison. It seems to break through our energy field and we lose our vitality. I myself know how unsettling this is. This is especially painful for sensitive and vulnerable people. And, of course, those who have low self-worth. Many of us, unloved as children, continue to flounder in this mess as adults. But everything can be fixed on your own.
When someone or something spoils our mood like this, we are slightly perplexed: why is this suddenly addressed to me? What do you want from me, why do you treat me this way? What did I do to you in the end?
Sometimes you want to send a response spear, and sometimes you have no strength at all. A childish feeling of helplessness appears. So what's going on?
It’s strange, but we ourselves created what happened. Like this? And so that they resonated and, as it were, sent a request into the atmosphere so that the one with the spear would start throwing it. For what? He is here to make us better. And the more deeply we slept before, and did not want to see or understand something, the stronger and sharper the spear will respond to us.
What to do if you ruin your mood?
That is, we already understood that the one with the spear only did his job, and so that he doesn’t rush anymore, we leave him alone and begin to look inside ourselves. What knocked me out so much, where it affected me, where the pain is. And it exists - that’s for sure, otherwise nothing like this would happen to us. We are empty inside, dried up. Instead of fragrant gardens there is a desert.
We just need to fix this. Description for women. Somewhere inside of us we all have a button that starts a generator that generates love from within us. That is, for a good mood and a good sense of self, we do not need to wait and catch approval from the outside. It turns out there is no need to prove anything - everything is already there, as given. There is our limitless energy within us. You no longer have to wait and deserve parental love, the love of children or partners. You find all the love you need within yourself and, on the contrary, share it with others. Even if at first it’s like this: they hate you, and you love them.
Find peace within yourself
You now approve of yourself, without outside help. You feel valuable without proof. For example, you can think to yourself: I have such a bun, delicious, delicious, so kind, so kind, smooth, tender, fragrant. Every cell of mine is ringing and bright.
Feel such inner love as streamlined, gradually filling you from the inside. This is a state of goodness. There are no sharp emotions here, you don’t tell anyone this in words, you don’t explain anything - this kindness and calmness comes through your skin, through your eyes. Those around you become comfortable and calm with you.
You enter the flow of life in a state of “good neutral” - I heard this term from psychotherapist Andrei Azarov. You can imagine that you are driving or sailing through life, and you have a remote control to control your speed. At the same time, this is not hyperspeed, in which you do not have time to notice anything around and, accordingly, look inside yourself, but you do not slow down or get stuck somewhere when everyone has already left. And you move smoothly, without jerking, in the “good neutral” position.
Suddenly you encounter something unpleasant at first glance, the shift knob breaks, the vehicle begins to jerk. But instead of continuing to drive this way, you take the process under your own control. After all, you have a manual transmission, not an autopilot, so you plug it into “good neutral” again. And to the archer, that man with the spears, if he gets in the way, send flowers, a beautiful bouquet and love. You now generate it yourself from within, you now have a lot of it. You share it easily. He will also study - all the best is in store for him, but he does not see it yet.
When you move at “good neutral”, it is also a comfortable speed in order to notice what is happening around you. But the nuance is only good. The task is to discern even in the darkest spot something positive, why it appeared to us. If we imagine a picture of the world created from puzzles, then if it were painted with pure white paint, we would not see anything on it. Therefore, when darker tones appear in the picture, the lighter ones become more visible. The result is harmony. Someone in this picture will be a dark puzzle, someone will be light, someone will be motley and everyone has the right to exist.
Here's the story.
Below are a few more options for deciding what to do if your mood has been spoiled.
What are these types of toxic people?
Children of the Underground.
They tend to see only the bad in everything, they love to describe with gusto all the abominations of this life. They often recall stories and various incidents from their lives, and they speak so convincingly that it is very difficult not to fall under their influence.
What to do: any words of such a person should not be taken to heart. You need to understand that this is his thinking stereotype. You can try to encourage, say something nice. If it doesn’t help, then you should act even harshly. For example, we can say that we are tired of constantly listening to nothing but nasty things and whining, but would like to hear something else. Sometimes it helps.
A bundle of anger.
These people like to make mountains out of molehills, constantly stirring up trouble. Outbursts of undisguised anger regularly appear, as if they immediately splash out the entire stock of accumulated evil. And they enjoy it.
What to do: pretend that we accept all the claims and agree with all the statements of the interlocutor. And don’t answer screams with shouts. The main thing is that he returns to normal. And only then should it be explained that when a person screams, it is difficult to understand him. Therefore, in order to be understood the first time, you need to speak calmly. It is difficult to refute such a “killer” argument.
An eternally unhappy toxic person.
This one simply forces us to drop everything we’re doing and rush to save him. Such a person constantly needs care, compassion, money, etc. And often - everything combined. Communication with such people is simply draining. After it you don't want anything anymore. These people like to shift all their worries onto other shoulders and watch how someone else does everything for them. And, as a rule, they give nothing in return. Pure egoists.
What to do: his behavior is based on complete confidence that we will never refuse. Such a whiner should be convinced otherwise. And explain that a person is called an adult because he solves his own problems.
Gossip.
The most insidious representative of emotional “sick people”. The underlying reason for all the gossip they spread is elementary envy.
What to do: you need to try to quickly interrupt the conversation. You need to refrain from harsh words, but be sure to say something good about the person whose bones the gossiper is trying to wash out. This usually stops him.
You shouldn't dwell on the negative. We must remember that everything passes. And tomorrow will be even better.
Red curtain effect
We all imagine a stage and a beautiful heavy curtain - often red. And here you are standing backstage, getting ready to perform like an artist. Attention! The curtain opens! The curtains moved together in different directions to show you something new. You are on stage - and the script of the play is entirely your own. What do you have in mind for all the best things for yourself? Such a curtain can be opened every morning, or it can be opened in a situation when you want to change something. Just open it up and play the best version of yourself.
If you are cold, act warmer...
That's all for today, ways to decide what to do if you ruin your mood. I remain with the hope that I somehow managed to raise it for you. I wish you not to get stuck in situations that are uncomfortable for you and slowly get out into the light. No matter what happens, the light always remains on for you.
Causes of bad mood
Speaking about the causes of bad mood, we can highlight the following, the most common:
- the need to do what you don’t like, for example, unloved and uninteresting work, which, however, is a necessity;
— disruption of plans: travel, vacation, getting another job, etc.;
- financial losses;
- a quarrel or conflict, as a result of which you experienced negative emotions, disappointment;
- strained family relationships;
- the expectation of some kind of trouble - real or imaginary - as a result of which you feel anxiety, panic, fear;
- bad feeling.
There is another reason that many people do not pay attention to, but which, nevertheless, directly affects their well-being, and, as a result, their mood. We are talking about a person’s lifestyle: work and rest hours, the presence or absence of physical activity, nutrition, ways to spend leisure time and relax, the presence of spiritual and creative interests, close friends, variety in life.
Sometimes what is commonly referred to as poor or unhealthy lifestyle choices can cause a person to feel physically and emotionally unwell. This is just one of the cases when there may be no apparent reason, but accumulated fatigue, poor nutrition, clutter with unnecessary, negative information, limited or vice versa, excessively extensive communication with random people, the inability to create strong long-term friendships and close relationships lead to that a person ceases to experience joy, and over time, can even reach a depressive state. Unfortunately, many people themselves take daily steps toward depression without realizing it.
There are a number of general recommendations that are worth paying attention to in all cases when you begin to experience discomfort from a bad mood.
Of course, each reason requires its own “personal” approach. However, if you don’t yet see an opportunity to improve the relationships that are bothering you, change jobs, or take another drastic and decisive step that will eliminate the cause of anxiety and constant worries, then it’s still worth thinking about how to cheer yourself up. Start making changes in your life and moving towards its improvement with those steps that are within your power and available right now, and also depend only on you.
Listen to ourselves
If you're in a terrible mood, then it's time to communicate with your inner self. analyze your internal state. Only this method will help you understand the reason for your bad mood. Listen to your inner feelings. How do you feel? Try to understand what exactly upsets you. Only with independent internal work can a person find the cause of discomfort within himself.
Feeling yourself and observing your condition is not given to everyone. If a person cannot “look” into his soul, then he should consult a psychologist. With the help of special techniques and psychological exercises, you can learn to understand your feelings and figure out what to do with them next.
How to fight?
Only the iron lady knows how to restrain her emotions when she is in a bad mood. Most people react emotionally not only to changes in life, but also to a terrible mood. However, this state does not make you look good either internally or even more so externally. Do you want to remain ugly for a long time? So, let's pull ourselves together! As they say in the famous novel by I. Ilf and E. Petrov “The Twelve Chairs”: saving drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves. So, let's get started:
- Treat yourself to a gift. At the first onset of the blues, buy yourself a gift. Even if you don’t have enough money in your wallet for the desired new thing, you will definitely find it for a bar of delicious chocolate. Chocolate will always cheer you up, and in a matter of minutes. It increases the production of serotonin - the hormone of happiness. This is what we need to get.
- Love yourself. A beauty salon is what you need when you are in a bad mood. “Cleaning the feathers”: straightening the tips, a new manicure and pedicure is a guarantee of a good mood.
- Call your friends. As life experience shows, a bachelorette party helps you forget about a bad mood. And all the problems that you share with your friends don’t seem so serious at all.
- A new romantic adventure. If a woman is in a bad mood, then you can experiment a little. For example, we go to social networks and raise our morale with new acquaintances. Why not become a femme fatale at least for an evening?
- We turn on a comedy or melodrama. The genre of the film depends on the character traits of a woman in a bad mood. Some people are crazy about melodramas, while others don’t mind brightening up the evening by watching science fiction or action films. The main thing is with a good ending. Otherwise, your mood will only worsen.
But here is a recommendation for men: if your significant other is in a bad, depressed mood, then remember that warm hugs, attention, a compliment and a small gift will never let you fall into despondency.
Situation No. 4. At the ATM... This is, in some way, extreme!
They ruined my mood... at the ATM?! When you urgently need it, and someone’s card is jammed by the machine. In general, these iron monsters are on their minds, you will agree. You never know for sure what might happen to him. And when you’re standing there trying to withdraw the coveted amount, and someone is breathing, excuse me, down your neck. Of course, it's a little stressful. But it’s quite bearable, because this is the spirit of the times and nothing can be done about it. It’s not the machine’s fault, it’s people who are imperfect, those others who first created and did not foresee much, although this reassurance is from the weak category. In short, when preparing for your next encounter with an ATM, be patient right away. It's like taking air into your lungs when diving.
Food and sports
And a slice of chocolate can turn our mood upside down. This does not mean that you need to “eat up” a bad mood. But treating yourself to the food you want now is not a crime. And you can burn extra calories through sports exercises. They will not only help you be more fit, but will also contribute to the release of endorphins - the so-called “joy hormones”. Both will improve your mood. Even a simple walk can make a big difference. Don't be lazy to get outside, especially on a sunny day.
“We eat” a good mood – we get it
Few people know that some foods contain “happiness”: substances that improve mood. So, take out a notepad or write down a note on your smartphone:
- chocolate;
- coffee;
- hot peppers;
- nuts;
- meat and fish;
- citrus fruits (especially tangerines and oranges);
- celery (celery soup is a miracle cure).
Of course, no one canceled their favorite dishes. Why can’t you please yourself, especially if you’re in a bad mood? It's very necessary!
Positive thinking
To learn how to lift your mood, you should realize that it depends on you. Accustom yourself to the idea that you yourself are responsible for what happens in your life, begin to analyze and remember how you personally influenced this or that event in your life: with your behavior, thoughts.
Learn to track your thoughts: What did I think about before I felt sad? Why did this thought come to my mind? What events might have caused me to think in this direction?
When you realize that you can influence your thoughts and make them positive - not artificially joyful, but positive in the sense that each thought is conscious and you understand the reasons for the occurrence of these thoughts, you will feel that you are able to control not only your mood, but also with your life. And such awareness, of course, in itself can cause joy and other positive emotions.
