Some people are afraid of emotional attachment, and instead of joy and happiness, love creates anxiety and even panic. This is called philophobia, an irrational and unfounded fear of falling in love. Fear of relationships can affect a person's life to such an extent that it becomes difficult for him to start a family.
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Fear of women
Often men are unable to establish a serious relationship because they are fundamentally phobic of being around a woman.
Everything happens for one reason, which can be divided into factors originating in childhood and adulthood.
Reasons from childhood:
- there was an oppressive mother who suppressed her son;
- the child was constantly surrounded by hyperprotection, his mother controlled his every step;
- the boy had a father who protected him from his mother, who was too strict, which led to the formation of the concept that a woman is a scary and strict creature.
Reasons from adult life:
- an unsuccessful relationship with a girl in his youth;
- a major phobia is formed after the first sexual failure, if the partner ridiculed what happened;
- if a man is repeatedly betrayed, he loses faith in the entire female sex;
- reluctance to get involved with girls may be dictated by working in a purely female team, especially if the boss was a woman;
- in a situation where the breakup was initiated by a woman who, when leaving, also hit her harder. A man has lost faith in women, especially if there has been infidelity.
Most often, men who are wary of females are perfectionists, naturally intelligent, well-read and calm, with a good education and a high level of intelligence.
There are known types of women who most often frighten men.
- They are wary of very beautiful girls, as they consider them to be sluts and bitches.
- Authoritarian, strong and aggressive girls, as a rule, frighten with their pressure and excessive masculinity.
- Weak men are wary of self-sufficient and confident girls.
- The most frightening thing is women who are alone for a long time, but at the same time they have not broken down, they have become independent, self-confident and decisive, with high self-esteem.
A man needs to get rid of the phobias that he has. If you do not deprive him of these fears in his youth, then as he grows up this will be much more difficult to do. In some cases, consultation with a psychologist is sufficient.
He's not a serious guy
He fears attachment like fire. It’s difficult to call him modest - he crushes girls like seeds, is always surrounded by the attention of the weaker sex, and has short affairs to a reasonable extent. As soon as a woman crosses the border of his personal space and encroaches on his freedom, he immediately changes tactics:
- He tries to lose sight of her: he hides, does not answer messages and calls, refuses meetings.
- He knocks out a wedge with a wedge: he gets himself a new girlfriend, who is in awe of him and is afraid to scare him away.
- If you can’t get rid of your old love, you simply send it specifically to a “known address.”
Well, that’s what he is - a womanizer and a womanizer. He is used to living alone, and his lifestyle is like in the article about open relationships. By the way, it describes exactly how to behave with such a man. He is not as impenetrable as he tries to seem.
Who doesn't dare to have a serious relationship?
Womanizers avoid serious relationships
There are types of men who, in almost all cases, will be unable to take a serious step.
- A married guy who doesn’t even think about creating a serious connection with his chosen one, he is quite happy with his wife.
- Young people who are too young do not look at life seriously at all; they still have the wind in their heads.
- Womanizer. For him, relationships are just a game from which he enjoys.
- Young people who, in principle, oppose marriage.
- Men with high self-esteem who do not want to be responsible for someone.
- Unbalanced young people.
If your partner belongs to one of the above categories, then you need to realize that starting a family with him is almost impossible, at least at the moment. Of course, the girl can wait until the situation changes. However, she must understand that she will simply lose years, her youth. It is possible that while waiting, the young man may decide to break up, and she will be left broke. If you love your partner very much and understand that he really has phobias before serious relationships, which manifest themselves on an instinctive or subconscious level, then you can give him a chance, help him overcome his fears; if that doesn’t work, consult a psychologist.
What I can? (a question not only for men, but also for women)
In order for a man not to be afraid of the woman he is in love with, it is not enough for a woman to be sincere, pure, grateful, and bashful. It is not enough to understand a man and the reasons for his fears. A woman also needs to understand her own desires. Real, heartfelt, and not imposed by the environment. And learn how to fill them yourself. Why do this?
First, these simple steps will restore your peace of mind. We are happy when we realize our desires.
Secondly , they will add attractiveness, since our states “smell” those around us and always influence their attitude towards us.
Thirdly, understanding what we really want opens up a new path to realizing ourselves as a couple. A couple relationship is something that is bigger than me. These are sensations of a different order.
And finally, fourthly , this will free a man from the frightening responsibility of filling our “I want” alone, a black hole the size of God.
Why are they afraid?
A man may be afraid of a serious relationship for fear of losing his freedom and joining his life with a grumpy woman
- A guy who is insecure about his libido may be very worried about this. This is what will scare you when a girl has a desire to live together.
- A young man who does not experience paternal instinct at all may be afraid of a serious relationship precisely for this reason.
- A guy who knows that his chosen one earns significantly more money will be afraid that if they live together, he will hear reproaches in his direction and ridicule from neighbors. Gigolos will happily agree to such a relationship.
- Lack of self-confidence can hinder the desire to start a family.
- A guy may be afraid that with the transition to a more serious level of relationship, he will have to introduce his chosen one to her parents, who may underestimate her and want to separate their union.
- If a guy loves but is afraid of a relationship, perhaps he is worried about losing his independence, afraid that he will be unable to do everything that now gives him pleasure.
- A man who devotes his entire life to work, perhaps a workaholic, worries that the relationship will affect his career.
- A polygamous guy is not inclined to have a serious relationship, because he believes that he has not yet had his fill. Typical womanizer.
- A young man may really not be ready to bear responsibility for a girl to the extent of his age.
- The ex is afraid of the relationship if the breakup was your initiative, which deeply hurt the guy’s heart. Naturally, he is afraid that you will repeat your action again. Moreover, the guy most likely does not create new relationships with anyone for the same reason.
- A man who has recently divorced is not ready to start any kind of relationship right away, especially if he still hasn’t let his ex out of his heart.
- A guy who lives with his mother is definitely afraid of being left without her. A mama's boy decides to have a serious relationship only with a woman who will take care of him and remind him of his mother.
- The fear may be based on a man's belief that all women want to take his wallet and leave. A guy can be scared by the fear of being used.
A man must understand that his purpose is to create a family, to continue his family line. Therefore, it is necessary to fight your fear of a serious relationship. If you can’t cope on your own, don’t be afraid to turn to a psychologist.
Fear of growing up
A man may not feel like an adult ready to take responsibility for relationships, children and family life. This so-called Peter Pan syndrome usually has its roots in various types of family dysfunction. Perhaps he was spoiled by his parents, who protected him from the real world, from the possibility of failure. Or maybe, on the contrary, he did not receive enough parental love (for example, he grew up without a father, and his mother was overworked).
As a result, an adult man feels like a child at heart who wants to play, get high, sleep late and work menial jobs without any responsibility. He likes to date and enjoy the relationship with his beloved, but when it comes to something serious (marriage, children, etc.), he immediately retreats.
Tips for girls
A girl has the power to dispel her partner’s fears
- The young lady can hint at her desire. She can say that she has finally met a guy with whom she would like to live together for many years. Then you need to ask the young man what he thinks about this.
- A girl can directly express her desire to move to the level of a serious relationship. She should talk about her feelings and desires in a calm atmosphere.
- Some young ladies decide to take a drastic step and pose the question head-on, forcing the guy to quickly make a decision or break up. In fact, such behavior can only anger the young man.
- A girl must understand that a man will never want to connect his life with his partner if she constantly reproaches him and deprives him of the joy of life. Therefore, it is important to behave correctly, to show the young man that when moving to a serious relationship in his life, nothing will change or worsen.
- A girl should not show her weakness or show dissatisfaction with her partner’s indecisiveness. You should not throw tantrums and scandals, and demand that the young man move to a new level of relationship.
- A young lady should not get hung up on the desire to start a family; it will be better if she continues to engage in self-development and finds some kind of hobby or hobby.
If a girl sees that her beloved has some fears, she should find the reasons that provoke them and try to rid him of them. The main thing is not to put pressure on your partner, and to be able to support him in difficult times.
Now you know why a man is afraid of relationships. As you can see, there are many reasons that influence this. Therefore, it is important to take a closer look at your partner and try to recognize what exactly is bothering him. Based on the cause of fear, begin your actions. Remember that every young man deserves to be happy by connecting his life with his soulmate.
It’s impossible to please the “Princess”
This is not the first time this has happened to Rita: after the stormy phase of falling in love and idealizing a partner, the second phase comes - humiliation and disintegration of the relationship. I would like to call Rita a “princess” - and the male version of the same type would, accordingly, be a “prince”.
Rita is capable of truly falling in love, and at first sight. In love, she soars in the clouds of her feelings, as if enchanted. But what she is much less adapted to is everyday life with a partner and tolerating his weaknesses.
For her, this is boredom and stagnation, which do not excite her in any way. And she wants to enjoy life to the fullest - the world around her should be exciting, not frozen. For people like Rita, a state of immobility is the same as death.
The same goes for strong relationships. But Rita does not realize this - and is in an eternal search for someone who will offer her a life full of excitement and overcoming.
She asks herself again and again why everyone else is lucky in love and only she always comes across “all sorts of wrong ones.” Disappointed once again, she turns away from her supposed fairytale prince and looks for the next fateful meeting.
