It happens that a guy knows how to speak beautifully and can attract any lady with his jokes, but he gets lost during correspondence. If you don’t know how to correspond with a girl online so as not to lose her attention, then come to us! We have prepared material that will help in this difficult issue, and the girl you like will definitely be yours.
At the dating stage
If you have known a girl for a long time, then you can skip this point, since it is for those who are just planning to start communicating. When meeting a girl on any online platform, try to hook her so that her attention flows in your direction.
Banal compliments are not suitable for this, especially if the girl is very beautiful and popular. Try writing some taunting, insolent, or even stupid stuff that she can't ignore. For example, if a girl has beautiful natural hair, you can write:
“Cool hair color, it’s a dye, right?”
The girl will be offended and absolutely answer something like:
“No, of course, it’s not paint, can’t you see?”
What should you write a non-trivial compliment to, for example:
“I’ve never seen such hair in person.”
Note that this phrase already contains a hint of the future, namely, that it would be cool to see such beautiful hair in person.
Then she will send some kind of emoticon, and you will ask: “what do nymphs like her do in life?” the conversation will flow like clockwork. The main thing is to listen to the girl and laugh off her questions about you.
Important! Any joke is better than sad stories about your place of residence, work, study and hobbies in life. Don’t answer seriously and in detail, don’t burden the girl with details about yourself, try to turn each of your response phrases into a joke, and you will see how easy the conversation becomes and flows on its own.
Don't bother too much6
Know your worth! Don't harass the girl with your messages, take breaks. Believe me, she will simply “freeze” you if she gets notifications about your letter every few minutes. There is no need to ask if she ate, what grade she received per liter, or how her health is. Write only to the point!
And one more thing: don’t even think about answering her message every time as soon as it arrives. Create a certain intrigue, you can read the letter, she will see it and will wait for a reaction. Don’t give up, don’t show your excessive interest. It’s not for nothing that one famous poet said: “The less we love a woman, the more she likes us!” But don’t ignore them completely, just write: “Sorry, I kept you waiting, I just had important things to do!”
A little about the purpose of correspondence
The acquaintance has taken place, and therefore it’s time to think about the purpose of your conversations. Do you just want to chat with a girl by correspondence or meet her in person? If the latter, then don’t delay virtual communication; after 2-3 dialogues, it’s time to move on to proposals for a meeting. But the proposal should look like a natural desire in the moment.
To do this, you will have to do something paradoxical: distract yourself from the main goal and try to enjoy communication with the girl. Always keep your focus on the interlocutor, and not on yourself, your excitement or frantically coming up with topics for conversation. Relax and respond to everything she says, because her answers, phrases and even emoticons contain enough threads to continue the conversation.
Advice from psychologists
Some tips from psychologists to help you avoid making mistakes in communication:
- Dominate. It’s nice for a woman to feel a man’s strength, to sometimes be led. Develop your inner leader.
- First you need to make friends with a girl, become close to her mentally, and identify common interests.
- Don't delay correspondence. Ask for a phone number quickly. You can flirt via SMS for 1-2 weeks, then try to transform the relationship into a closer one. Make a call. Immediately invite the lady on a date, for a walk.
- Organize the first walk on the street, do not invite the lady home or to the country, to the countryside with friends, even as a joke.
- When meeting in person, entertain the girl, try to please her, make a good impression.
- Happy holidays. Give a small gift with a postcard via delivery if you know the girl's address. Such a tackle will be appreciated with the highest score, although a woman may flirt and allegedly refuse gifts and congratulations.
- SMS texts should be casual and unusual. Attract attention with correctly formulated compliments and your erudition.
According to young people, hitting on a girl online is much easier than on the street, in real life. Think in advance what to write to the girl you really like, how and what you will talk about. React to refusal calmly. Perhaps your true love is not online yet, but is just about to register an account.
How to start a conversation
Meeting on VKontakte or matching on Tinder is not enough to attract a girl to you. But already from the first correspondence she will draw a conclusion according to which you can either go to the reserve bench or get a chance for further communication.
It's no surprise that many guys always think long and hard before starting a dialogue with a girl. And this, by the way, is a big mistake.
The more you doubt, reflect and look for the right moment, the faster you lose spontaneity and self-confidence.
The main rule for starting a conversation is to write right away . I saw that the match coincided - write, the girl accepted the friend request - write. It’s the same in life - if a girl smiles at you, then this is a green light, and therefore don’t be shy to talk to her.
So, how to start a conversation after meeting:
Write a non-trivial compliment: if she is a beauty, then praise the intelligence in her eyes, if she is a serious girl, then say that “I didn’t expect to meet such a stunning beauty here.” In general, don’t praise the obvious, look deeper.
Pay attention to some detail in her image or in the photo in general, ask about it. For example, in the photo she is wearing some earrings / with a dog / cat / in the city / in nature / in pajamas, etc. Say or ask about any of these, but not trivialities like “Where are you?” or “what is the cat’s name?”, or, for example, “it’s clear from you that you love cats.” Or “such pajamas (earrings/nails/dress, etc.) do you know what they remind you of?” If she asks “what?”, you will answer that about such and such a film/book/space/Italy/philharmonic, about anything, the main thing is to interest her and involve her in the conversation.
And the last way to start a correspondence correctly is to surprise the girl. For example, try to guess what she does. Imagine the most exotic or flattering options. For example: “do you play the piano? You have such beautiful fingers”, “Are you an artist? “You have such a cool style”, “you are one hundred percent a model, guess what?”, “are you a dancer? You seem so graceful." This will work if it’s not obvious from her photo what she does in life.
All of these are just examples of how to surprise a girl in correspondence, and your actual phrases should be based on context and be appropriate in a given situation.
Important! To intrigue a girl in correspondence, you need to surprise her, stun her, excite her and even shock her a little.
What to write about
After meeting you, you are most likely interested in how to maintain a conversation with a girl so that she likes you. And here the first rule will help you: listen to her carefully. Everything she says should become the basis for your responses.
You will be able to attract a girl and even make her fall in love with you if you react spontaneously, interestingly, with humor, but within the framework of masculine behavior. Don’t be like her friend, don’t discuss feminine things with her, keep it romantic. But without tediousness, cheap compliments and sticky phrases with vulgar overtones.
In general, with you she should feel very feminine, attractive and sexy. Only in this case the girl will want to meet you live and you will have a real head start to continue communicating with her offline.
So, what to talk about with a girl by correspondence? Answer: about her.
People love to talk about themselves, so you don’t need to invent anything, just react to what she will answer you.
For example, you found out that she is studying to become an economist. Say: “there is nothing more fascinating than economics)).” Don’t be afraid to joke, the main thing is don’t be boring about the topic: “So how’s it going?” like? is not boring?". Tell her that she looks like a very confident economist, that she probably looks good in a formal suit, that she probably knows exactly what she wants from life.
And then, listen to what she says about herself and keep the conversation going.
Second rule: do not turn the dialogue into an interrogation.
Never ask her about where she lives/with whom/how old she is/if she has brothers and sisters/what her hobby is/if she likes to watch movies. All this is depressing. Develop the conversation gradually and joke more.
If she asks something about you, then always answer with humor about your profession, hobbies, and where you live.
Dialogue should be easy, spontaneous and unforced, and therefore avoid hackneyed templates and clichés.
Rule three: entertain her.
Tell funny stories, only short and interesting ones. Any incidents and events that happened to you recently. But in these stories you shouldn't look ridiculous, otherwise you'll lose your sex appeal. Remember that you need to amuse the girl, but remain in a courageous manner.
Don't drag your feet
If you see that the girl is friendly, and communication has become more active and constant, then it’s time to act and get her phone number. Then arrange a personal meeting. Don’t be surprised if the communication was pleasant and you thought she liked you, but in an instant the lady disappeared. This only means that you did not take a step towards a real relationship in time. The girl saw that the communication had reached a dead end, was not moving anywhere, and went to look for a more serious young man.
What to ask
Many people are interested in how to get a girl to talk and think that they need to ask questions. In fact, the abundance of questions turns the dialogue into an interrogation, which is not very romantic.
To get a girl to like you via correspondence, you need to arouse her interest in the conversation. This can be done with the help of humor and flirting, but in no case through prepared questions.
What to communicate about depends on the context; perhaps she herself will write something that can be supported by a relevant question or you yourself can show interest in something that she hinted at.
For example, if you want to start a conversation, start not with a question, but with an interesting story about what recently happened to you. But this will only work if you have already met and been communicating for some time.
Tell her what situation you observed on the street or that you had deja vu / a prophetic dream / an attack of clairvoyance, and then ask: “probably this hasn’t happened to you?” Most likely, the girl will start talking about herself, which will help continue the conversation.
But still, if you are looking for ways to get closer to a girl, then some questions can help.
But they need to be asked in a guessing format so that she will tell more about herself: “You probably like to walk at night/travel/romantic music/cats/take pictures?” Of course, the question must fit the context and fit seamlessly into the conversation.
If she is surprised why you decided so, then say that she has a thoughtful/dreamy/tender/cute/look that only happens to lovers of what you named. And if the girl in the photo looks, on the contrary, impudent, then play up this moment.
Avoid standard questions when chatting on VK with a girl or chatting on Tinder. And if she asks them, then answer with humor, and not going into lengthy details.
Important! Never study a girl's profile before starting a conversation. This way you deprive yourself of spontaneity. It’s better to build a conversation around what you see in the photo and what the girl herself will tell you.
Basic topics for online communication
Hobby
Sounds simple enough, right?
Women almost always like to talk about their interests, so ask her some leading questions on this topic.
If you're a little nervous or shy at first to talk about something more serious, then this is the best way to get her to talk.
Just ask her something like:
“ What do you like to do in your free time? " or " What do you do when you're not at work? "
Based on her answers, you can ask a few additional questions to keep the conversation going.
Usually, as a result of such casual correspondence, it turns out that you have something in common.
In fact, that's the whole point of this conversation - to simply find a hobby or interest that you share.
This will help make the conversation more natural and relaxed.
Family
If she has a relatively normal relationship with her parents and there isn't any terrible family drama, then most women will be happy to talk about their family, so it's an easy topic to bring up.
This is not the best topic for communication on the Internet, but it gives an excellent result in terms of rapprochement and establishing trusting relationships.
Just try asking a simple leading question about whether she has any siblings or whether she is close to her parents.
But if you don’t want to take risks, you can always start with some interesting story about yourself and your family.
This may interest her and cause a response; she will want to be frank about her family.
Holidays or vacation
This is exactly the topic that everyone likes to discuss, dream, and plan. People usually respond positively to this kind of conversation.
To start a conversation, you may have to remember a recent vacation that made a strong impression on you.
Just don't write like you're bragging.
For example, if your family once rented a private island in the Caribbean, keep this information to yourself because they may not believe you.
It would be best if your vacation story is short and sweet so you can quickly get to the questions.
Remember, it’s better for her to talk more than you, so move on to memories of her unforgettable vacation as soon as possible.
Favorite food
This is another easy topic to talk about because it's something that everyone loves to chat about.
On top of that, using your favorite food as a bonding activity isn't that hard or scary at all.
If you want to quickly get her to talk about this topic, then ask a non-standard question: “ What will be your last meal before the Apocalypse? "
This is another good way to find something in common between you.
Keep in mind that food can be a powerful aphrodisiac, so choosing the same food over and over again can be a good sign.
Asking a woman about her favorite foods and restaurants is also a good way to gather useful information about her.
If she mentions a specific restaurant or type of food she likes, it gives you an easy transition into asking her out.
Pop culture
Pop culture may be the most important topic of conversation with women.
This is one of the easiest ways to get closer, for example:
“ Have you seen this new film yet? " or " Did you go to the concert yesterday? "
The main thing is to stick to a topic that is familiar to you.
If you don't know anything about art, then don't ask her about it.
If you don't read much, don't mention books.
With these conversations you are also trying to find something in common between you, so if you both love the same movie or TV show, then this will become the basis for a long conversation.
If you want to understand what to chat with a girl about at the very beginning of your acquaintance, then it’s best to find out what her favorite movie, book or something else is and ask her to tell you more about it.
How to end a conversation
Ending a conversation correctly is no less important than starting a conversation. A formal “bye” is appropriate if the girl said goodbye first. Ideally, there is no need for goodbyes at all. The conversation should flow from day to day the way you communicate with an old friend, with whom you don’t even have to say hello :)
If you decide to end the correspondence, then say that you don’t want to say goodbye to her, but it’s time for you to attend to some business. Things should look real, and not “I’m going to eat.” By the way, forget about the words “eat” and never say it if you don’t want to look ridiculous.
If you have been communicating for several days, then at the end of the conversation you can call her somewhere. But invite correctly: “let’s go to the cinema” is better than “do you want to go somewhere?” Be specific, otherwise she will refuse you.
You can say goodbye beautifully with the help of compliments: “now I’ll think about you all evening, instead of writing a report/doing homework/working out.” Or “I thought that this day would not save anything,” hinting at inspiring communication with her.
Important! Ask for a phone number in the first dialogue, and be sure to write to it on the same day.
Examples of how to interest a girl by correspondence
Ideally, your brain should generate intrigue, provocations and compliments. In the meantime, while his muscle is training, I’ll give you a couple of examples.
Interesting
- “You know, the Constitution says you can’t deprive a person of the right to happiness.”
- “Today I finally understood why I registered on a dating site.”
- “I saw photos of Rome in the profile. Are you as in love with him as I am?”
- “I lost the bet, and for this I have to ask the most beautiful girl on the site on a date.”
- “I think I’m not the first one who wants to meet you. But I am the best. Will you check?"
Not interested
- “You look good. Shall we meet?
- “Let’s chat or meet”
- "Hello. You are cute. Shall we meet?
- “If you are interested in me, write!”
General rules of correspondence
Let's summarize the rules for correspondence with a girl that will help you not get bored with your new acquaintance after the first dialogue :)
- Don't be afraid to leave the conversation unfinished , because this way you will always have a reason to continue it. But this does not mean that you need to break off the dialogue mid-sentence, as this is simply impolite.
- Don’t answer in monosyllables , it’s always better to joke instead of the boring “yes/no/I don’t know.” In addition, such answers will show the girl a lack of interest.
- Don't be shy to express your emotions , because they make you more charming.
- Share your impressions of what caught your attention or fascinated you in order to diversify the dialogue and not let the girl get bored.
- When talking, think not about how to deceive a girl , but about making her interested in you.
- Don't be rude and don't use swear words , especially if she writes in literary language. But if a girl has struck you to the core, then you can express yourself a couple of times in a not too literary way :)
- Don't wish her good night and good morning every day , as this is completely boring. Write this periodically, for example, after emotional correspondence, mutual flirting, her obvious affection for you, or agreement to meet.
- Reinforce any step she takes towards you with a double step . If she was the first to start a correspondence, then ask her to meet, if she is interested in what kind of girls you like, then say that they are like her.
- Don't overdo it with compliments . Here, less is more.
- Don't write vulgarity in the first dialogue, start with romance.
As you can see, communicating with girls correctly is not at all difficult. The main thing is to keep your focus on her and rely on your spontaneity.
Basic rules of communication
Talking to your girlfriend is like walking through a minefield.
Here you cannot use phrases and jokes that you exchange with friends. She won't understand humor. And he will consider you stupid or frivolous, and as a result, he will rush to break off relationships and all communication. In order not to get into an absurd situation, I recommend that you adhere to a number of rules:
- Do not be rude. Even if you've been dating a girl for a long time. This is a road to nowhere. If they forgive you the first time, then, alas... No. Especially if she doesn’t understand your hints or the reason for the upset.
- Learn to ask the right questions. This does not apply to “How are you?” This is a tired topic. Be creative, for example, “I know that you read the book recently, so what are your impressions after it?”
- Be original . Hackneyed phrases like “How are you?”, “How are you?” Everyone is already fed up with it. Write in an original way, but again, know your limits. Don’t build a dialogue chaotically, come up with something unusual for each situation. For example: “Good morning! Are you ready to conquer Hollywood?
- Play on the love of speculation. Don't write too directly. Leave room for flights of fancy. But again in moderation.
- Don't impose. You don't need to write every hour. It gets boring.
- Humor. Do not forget. But only in moderation.
- Hello. Every time you start writing to her or, conversely, a girl wrote to VK, start your dialogue with a greeting. It's not difficult, your fingers won't get tired from typing 5 extra letters.
Topics for long correspondence
Now we’ve come to the main thing, how to not let the conversation fizzle out. Topics for long correspondence will help you with this, which you can use if you’ve run out of ideas and want to get a girl to talk.
- Talk about what music/movie/book has impressed you lately and ask what impresses or inspires her.
- If you have common interests, for example: sports, cinema, music, hobbies, then there is a huge scope for rapprochement, because you can discuss a huge number of topics.
- Take the conversation in a romantic direction, otherwise your communication will remain within the framework of a friendly format. To do this, don’t forget about flirting. You can even make her blush a couple of times with indiscreet remarks, but they must be appropriate in the context of the conversation.
- If you want to continue correspondence with a girl, you cannot write about negative things and express any negative emotions. The corresponding emoticons are also prohibited. In her eyes, you should remain cheerful, friendly, open, perhaps daring, and not boring, sad and always dissatisfied with everything.
Inspirational phrases for long correspondence:
- “Amazing rain/snowfall/sunset, it would be cool to watch this together”;
- “I recently saw a movie in which this happens (describe the situation), and how do you feel about it?”;
- “How was the test/conference/business meeting? Amazed everyone with her charm?”;
- “This song/movie reminded me of you, especially (write why).”
Try to write sincerely, but don't go into too much detail. Let her talk more, and tell her as little as possible about herself. Remember that bragging and showing off are completely anti-sex.
If you are looking for examples of communication with humor, then it all depends on the context. The main thing is to relax during the conversation and joke as if you have known the girl for a long time. This makes it easier to relax and show charm.
Should I write SMS?
If a girl gives you her phone number, then you must write an SMS or in the instant messenger she uses. It is not necessary to correspond with a girl via SMS, after all, this is the last century, but sometimes you can write something romantic, sweet or hot???? during the day or before bed.
If you want to interest a girl via SMS, never write long phrases. Be spontaneous and concise, do not overuse emoticons. The SMS format is great for romantic and even vulgar correspondence, so feel free to write that “you think about her before going to bed” or “you miss her thoughtful eyes.”
Dominate or please
Many gorgeous girls are looking for a strong, domineering man, next to whom they can feel like a weak princess. Therefore, be persistent, be a little arrogant, but polite. Try to immediately go ahead and write “You are a gorgeous girl, write your number, we’ll call you and get to know each other better.” But there is one nuance here - go back to your profile, is the photo showing a confident guy who can conquer the world? No? Urgently look for a good photographer or change your clothing style and hairstyle. A girl may react warily to such a statement and slight impudence, BUT she will definitely answer.
If such tactics are alien to you and you are more romantic by nature, take it with compliments and refined communication. But beware of platitudes, there is no need for “You are beautiful”, “Super photo”. If you want to give a compliment about your appearance, don’t write “You look great,” but try to interest them by asking the question: “How many men have you already conquered with your beauty? I think I'm one of them."
Pay attention to the features of the girl’s profile, give compliments that relate to her, and not to all representatives of beauty. Note her manicure, clothes, hairstyle. Then the girl will see that you are interested in her.
