School time is the time of first loves, first dates, first insults and suffering. And because everything is for the first time - it’s all so bright, unusually sweet for you - when your heart freezes and sinks to your feet at the sight of this girl. When you toss and turn and don’t sleep at night, you dream about the object of your affection. We all go through this period in life sooner or later. All people fall in love, and you are no exception. Falling in love is great! And I really envy you!
What is falling in love? You first encounter this feeling during your school years, from 12 to 17 years old. Psychologists usually say that this happens in the second adolescence.
Usually this, as they say “CHEMICAL”, process is accompanied by three questions: “How to make a classmate fall in love with you if she does not reciprocate or is dating someone else? How can I make my classmate fall in love with me? What to do if you fall in love with your classmate, how to “win” her heart?
From this article you can find out the answers to all these difficult questions.
Problems and complexes of a boy that prevent a girl classmate from liking him
- The main problem is the opinion of society. The environment, consisting of classmates and peers, very often incorrectly evaluate their representative. Unfortunately, this assessment can affect the girl's opinion of the classmate who liked her. Being rejected by a classmate is not as scary for a boy as feeling disrespected by his classmates.
- As a rule, the chances of a classmate in relation to the girl he likes are small. They are usually interested in older boys, from higher classes.
- Shyness and modesty can become a big problem. Often a boy believes that the classmate he likes should herself understand that there is a feeling and turn her attention to it. Your attention is manifested in the fact that you quietly admire her during class and try to make friends with her. And, of course, the Internet. The network is an excellent means of communication. You constantly communicate with her via the Internet, where you feel much freer, more relaxed and bolder.
If you told a girl about your liking, and she sent you to the friend zone, that is, to the friendship zone - don’t be sad! Believe me, time will pass and she will change her mind. Don't rush things, friendship is also a good thing!
Secrets of how to please your classmate
Guys need to take into account that each classmate is unique and has her own preferences. Therefore, not every classmate can be “to your taste” and liked, both in external appearance and in your inner world.
If the girl refused and does not want, for example, to communicate or be friends, then there is no need to be upset about this; it will also be superfluous for the guy to perceive this as a personal defeat. For himself, the boy should realize that with this girl there are no common points of contact and that’s all.
To please a classmate at school, you should become an interesting person, have a hobby, be sociable, well-read, erudite, and a defender of the weak.
It is important to remember your promises and if you promised to bring a book or help in resolving an issue, then you should do it on time, otherwise the girl will be offended and will not take the guy seriously as a person. Women's interest in the guy will gradually begin to fade, so responsibility and punctuality for the boy should become the most important qualities.
To please a 14-16 year old classmate, you need to smile at her, openly express your sympathy, without being embarrassed about it. Girls of this age love confident boys.
The ability to use a sense of humor at the right moment will help defuse the awkward silence between a girl and a boy. A narrated interesting incident from the life of a guy or his friends, or a good cute joke will help form a positive image of the storyteller in the eyes of the girl. But you should forget about tediousness, boredom, lack of interests if you have a strong desire to please your classmate.
It is important to learn how to express your thoughts correctly and not make speech mistakes. Speech should be confident, clear, without parasitic words. Psychologists recommend that guys, in order to “win women’s hearts,” familiarize themselves with literature on the topic of communicating with the opposite sex, and also read more to enrich their vocabulary.
Girls like it when people say nice things to them, but not trivial and typical ones. For example, a girl will be happy to hear: “You are especially beautiful today” instead of the simple phrase “You are beautiful.” You can openly tell a girl that it is pleasant to communicate with her and that she is an interesting conversationalist.
When communicating with a classmate, it is important to control the words spoken to other girls. You can’t speak badly about someone, this can characterize the guy from a negative side.
If you have established a friendly relationship with the girl, then on the occasion of the holidays you can make small surprises, for example, give chocolate, books, flowers.
If the relationship has moved to a new level and a classmate has agreed to a date, then in this case it is important not to be late for the meeting, but to arrive early. You should first think about what places you can visit; it is appropriate to ask the girl’s opinion about where she would like to go. The girl will appreciate such an act, she will like the attention shown by her classmate.
When walking in beautiful places, it is important not to remain silent, but to try to be romantic or at least joke. Showing concern for the girl will also be appropriate: give her a hand, open the door for her, take her into the warmth if the wind has risen sharply. The qualities of a gentleman increase the chances of being liked by a classmate at any age, regardless of how old the girl is 13 or 16.
Bringing your friends to a meeting with a classmate will be unnecessary; the girl may feel awkward in the general company, so such moments should be agreed upon in advance.
After each meeting, a classmate should be escorted to the entrance and thanked for the walk, noting that they had a good time.
Thus, by adhering to the described secrets, it will be quite easy to please your classmate, and the girl will be fascinated by the boy. But it should be taken into account that relationships are a dynamic process, and the manifestation of sympathy at the moment can change to antipathy in the future, if the response signal becomes unpleasant. For example, a boy should not violate personal boundaries, physical and individual, since this can quickly and sharply erase positive impressions, causing antipathy. Intrusive, incorrect, aggressive or rude behavior can instantly provoke a change from a positive sign to a negative one. And the more attentive and careful the boy’s attitude towards the girl, the greater the chance of strengthening the feeling of sympathy and increasing the chance of moving to a close level of communication.
How to understand that you have fallen in love
A textbook situation when a “new” girl appears in the class and one of the boys realizes that his heart “sank.” I fell in love with a classmate at first sight. In this connection, the question arises, how should one behave in such a situation? Let's figure out how to behave in this situation.
The young man needs to make sure for himself that love has come. Knowledge of the following symptoms of “Cupid syndrome” can help him with this:
- "Pink glasses". This is the first syndrome of falling in love, which is characterized by the fact that the guy does not notice the shortcomings of the girl he likes;
- "Attunement." This is the second syndrome of falling in love, the main characteristics of which are the young man’s understanding of the desires and requests of the object on an empathic-nonverbal level, in other words: by looks, gestures, and facial expressions. Even in the case when a classmate is not yet interested in communicating with a guy.
- "Smile". If a young man is in love, then when he looks at the object of his adoration, a “radiant”, benevolent smile appears on his face.
- "Physiological symptoms." When a boy is in a state of love, specific hormones of happiness begin to be released. His breathing and heart rate may also increase;
- Knowing these symptoms, you can easily determine whether a young man is in love with a classmate. If more than three of the above symptoms are detected, it means he is in love.
School time is the best time in a person's life. A school friend will remain faithful for life, and your first crush will always be one of your warmest memories. Whatever it is, with or without reciprocity, you will remember only good, unique moments.
Difficulties in relationships with teenage girls
Few people at the age of 10–11 know what to do to please a girl who studies at the same school with you or simply lives in the next yard.
It can be so difficult to get there first! And the point here is not so much a matter of natural shyness: modesty has long ceased to be an adornment. The reason is different - fear of being rejected. Your sincere impulse can be ridiculed, condemned, and can become public knowledge. You're afraid of getting burned and don't take the first step. And now your classmate, whom you dreamed of liking, is already walking with another boy, like an adult, and giggling at his jokes. And you regret this missed chance for a very long time. Adolescence is a rather difficult stage, a period of growing up, when a girl gradually turns into a girl, and a boy into a young man. Sexual development occurs, otherwise the hormonal system begins to work. Interest in the opposite sex is increasing, and this is natural.
Dating a teenage girl is not easy for various reasons:
- At this age, first love most often comes. Faced with her, the girls do not know how to behave correctly. They have no relationship experience, so they go through trial and error. The “transition” of age is the main difficulty of the situation.
- At this time, the girl wants to behave like an adult, although she is not one. After all, she is still considered a child. Therefore, the guy will have to constantly control himself and her in terms of intimate relationships. Under 18 years of age, sex with her is a criminal offense!
- Teenagers at almost any age tend to imitate their idols. That is, which girl is real, what kind of character she has, you may not understand for a very long time, and whether she will open up to you to the end is a big question.
- It is worth preparing mentally for the girl’s psychological tension: at this age she is in disharmony with herself. Due to the riot of hormones, attacks of aggression, impulsive behavior, and emotional breakdowns may occur. Feelings become sharper, which is expressed in mood swings - from enchanting fun to complete apathy. On the other hand, you never know what to expect from her. There will never be a dull moment with her.
- Like all teenagers, girls are characterized by demonstrative reactions of protest if they don’t like something in their relationship with you, as well as inappropriate behavior and extravagant actions. But for all their external independence, they are very vulnerable and unsure of themselves.
But you shouldn’t think that you will encounter all these problems; a lot in a relationship depends on the girl’s character traits and on how you behave. In any case, all difficulties fade into the background compared to the tenderness of first love, first kisses, first strong emotions - all that will never be forgotten. So if you want to please a teenage girl, go for it, it's worth it!
Options for school love
Falling in love for the first time is like:
- Friendly sympathy.
- You fell in love with an ideal that has the desired qualities of a girl, if by that time the image of your loved one had already been formed. It's like a dream. This is great, it changes the person himself for the better.
- You fell in love with a classmate as if you were an object - you definitely expect reciprocity. If there is no reciprocity, then you don’t need that kind of love. Everything here is controversial and confusing.
Fell in love with a classmate aged 14 or in 6th grade
As soon as you feel that you are falling in love, you need to start showing certain signs of attention. This will allow you to get closer to her in a “business” setting. These signs include:
- Help in various matters;
- Protection from jokes and various attacks;
- A little flirting;
- Jokes directed at her, but not offensive ones;
- Unobtrusive compliments.
Here your task is to get closer to your classmate and start making friends with her. This will make it easier to carry out further actions. She should be predisposed to you and see you as a potential boyfriend.
But you shouldn’t be too simple and helpful, otherwise she will start to see you as her friend. And this should not be allowed. Be a man and your chances will increase significantly.
Useful tips for guys
Getting a girl to like you at 15 seems like an unattainable dream for a modest guy. Boys are afraid of rejection. This fear prevents you from taking the first step. It seems that the beloved is capable of publicly ridiculing and telling her friends about a stupid act. Usually ladies don't do this. It’s better to take a risk than to regret a missed opportunity for the rest of your days.
The following tips will help you figure out how to attract her attention at school. They were composed of conquerors of women's hearts, who knew which strings of the soul should be played in order to attract attention.
Find out what the girl is interested in
First, you should get to know the object of your adoration better. Talking about what she likes to do in her free time brings her closer together. Girls are ready to happily talk about themselves. They are proud and love attention. Most often during their school years they are interested in the following topics:
- Movie. Teenagers enjoy mass-industry products. Discussing movies is a good way to attract the attention of a 14-year-old girl. We need to talk about the films we viewed. You can't make anything up. If a friend catches you in a lie, she will not maintain the relationship.
- Books are coming back into fashion. Sophisticated ladies like to immerse themselves in imaginary worlds. While the boys play games, the girls read fiction. If your beloved is a connoisseur of poetic style, you can give her a work by your favorite author. Such gestures of attention make you melt.
- Music is popular among teenagers. You need to find out the beauty’s favorite band and invite her to a concert. No one will refuse such a “first step”.
- Sports are actively imposed by the media. Girls enjoy fitness. You can offer to run together or help with exercises in the gym.
- Travel attracts and fascinates. Studying a girl’s page on a social network will allow you to understand what countries she has visited.
These are all ideal topics for discussion. Some hobbies need to be learned from your best friends. It is better to have information in advance to support the dialogue.
Always be yourself
Pick-up artists, in articles about attracting the attention of a 12-year-old girl in high school, argue that you should behave in a certain way. Researchers have found that artificiality repels the fair sex. They interviewed schoolgirls and students aged 12 to 18 years. They said that pretense is repulsive.
Women are especially sensual, so they quickly read emotions. When a guy plays a role, there is dissonance. Starting a relationship with a lie is a bad option.
Modesty makes people beautiful. Inner experiences are often attractive. You cannot give up your own “I”. It is worth defending your position and beliefs, otherwise life will turn into hell.
READ
How to behave correctly after a first date with a girl
Do not lie
The rule follows from the previous one. Deception is repellent and irritating. Having learned about the “understatement”, the woman loses interest in her interlocutor. Negative thoughts appear in your head. She understands that it is impossible to build a relationship with someone who embellishes his own achievements. Such a person is unreliable; you should not start a family with him.
The correct policy is to speak sincerely about everything. Even if there is no big income, the girl will appreciate honesty.
Be mindful of your appearance
Girls are observant and notice every little detail. Before meeting your beloved, you should tidy up your appearance. Be sure to comb your hair and clean your shoes. Clothes should be ironed and stylish.
You don't need to be a fashion expert to look good. It is enough to emphasize your own attractiveness so that your classmate will pay attention.
Playing sports
Girls are attracted to boys who play sports. An active lifestyle is attractive. At school, girls have warm feelings for football players. Team sports seem difficult and confusing to them.
Athletics will help you get your body in shape. It is good for health and makes your figure attractive. The beloved will appreciate the guy's care for his own body.
Plus, sports are a fun topic to discuss. Common interests bind young hearts. It's time to hook the goldfish.
Self-reliance as a way of life
Ladies fall for real men. At school, older boys seem attractive. This needs to be used.
The beloved should see an alpha male in her partner. Make bold decisions, surprise your companion. Show that you can provide for her and protect her from adversity.
What should you do first?
So, you realized that you fell in love. So what should we do about it now? Psychologists will answer this question for you:
- If you and the object of your desire have mutual acquaintances, especially if they are representatives of the fair sex, then you can go to them for reconnaissance . Try to unobtrusively ask what the girl thinks about you. You can also find out what she likes, what qualities she values.
- Try to catch her eye more often . But only so that she doesn't think you're stalking her. Let these be “random” meetings and “sudden” collisions. This way she will pay attention to you.
- Approach her. Girls like guys who are confident. To begin with, you can just exchange a few words and get to know each other. And only then you can invite her to take a walk sometime.
- If you have already established contact, then you can give her small gifts for no reason , make some nice signs of attention. This way you will win her over.