Question to a psychologist: what is pathological jealousy and is it possible to get rid of it?

Mild, borderline and severe mental disorders can be accompanied by morbid jealousy.
In particular, delusions of jealousy can occur against the background of schizophrenia (F20, ICD-10), schizotypal and delusional disorders (F21–22, ICD-10), as well as pathology of the endocrine and nervous systems (for example, with the use of psychoactive substances, hormonal drugs). The treatment tactics for delusions of jealousy depend on the identified mental disorder (the true cause) and the nature of the course of the disease. In some cases, pathological jealousy can be eliminated during sessions of individual and/or family psychotherapy (6–8 sessions); in others, selection of pharmacotherapy is required.

Our clinic sees male and female sexologists, as well as psychotherapists with extensive clinical experience specializing in relationship problems.

The prognosis for the treatment of delusions of jealousy comes down to a therapeutic assessment of the underlying disease, resistance to pharmacotherapy and the presence of concomitant mental disorders. The chance of relapse of the disease after discharge is quite high, so you should attend follow-up examinations, follow recommendations for taking medications, and do not neglect individual and family psychotherapy.

Consultation with a doctor for the treatment of delusions of jealousy:

+7

Thank you for your trust!

• Diagnosis and treatment without registration
• Selection of therapy on an outpatient basis, anonymously
• Help from a psychotherapist and psychiatrist

Causes of the disease

Psychiatry today is not able to indicate the exact causes of delusions of jealousy. Psychiatrists use several theories of the occurrence of “Othello syndrome,” each of which is quite viable. Many factors that can influence the development and course of the disease have not yet been fully studied by specialists.

The main reasons for the development of the disorder in men include:

• delusional disorders, schizophrenia;
• alcohol addiction;
• sexual problems;
• long-term depression, dysthymia;
• cerebrovascular diseases;
• hormonal disorders;
• reduced self-esteem.

The main reasons for the development of delusions of jealousy in women include hormonal disorders in the body and chronic alcoholism. Since this condition is often accompanied by depression, the likelihood of suicide is high.

Delirium is a common symptom of a considerable number of mental disorders, but it cannot be considered the initial stage of the disease: for example, in the case of schizophrenia, it develops much later.

Key Characteristics of a Jealous Guy

The guy is watching you

For example, you are sitting with friends in your favorite cafe, and suddenly your boyfriend accidentally appears in this place. Although you did not agree to meet here. What a coincidence you might think. But that's not true. His unscheduled appearances could be a sign of jealousy towards a particular friend, but he simply doesn't talk about it.

A man regularly asks who you hang out with

If a man, as if “accidentally,” began to ask who you spend time with, then this is another sign of his jealousy. He wants to know how you feel about these people, what you talk about with them, and what feelings you experience. The guy is afraid that someone from your company may become closer to you than him.

The guy is acting strange

For example, if you decide to go somewhere alone, then his indignation will know no bounds. Perhaps you have decided to go on vacation with friends or work colleagues. But the guy doesn’t like it, and he opposes it. This may happen because the guy doesn't trust you. And when he hears that you will not be back for several days, it shocks him even more. In fact, this is not a healthy situation, especially if he insists that you should always be together. Maybe he just loves spending time with you. But it is also possible that he is nervous that he will not be able to control you. If he has no reason to not trust you because of past behavior, then this is a clear sign that he is jealous in a hidden way.

He openly flirts with other girls and watches your reaction

The next way to understand that a guy is jealous is to look at how he behaves with other girls. This tactic is often used by jealous people. They start flirting with other people in completely obvious ways. Perhaps your boyfriend is so friendly to everyone. But in any case, if he tries his best to show how other people are interested in him, then in this way he is trying to make up for his lack of self-confidence. Such behavior may not only be a sign of his jealousy, but also mean that he is petty and vindictive.

The guy hates other people for no apparent reason

Do you have a friend whose guy just hates him for no apparent reason? And it doesn't matter how often you see this friend. Either way, the hatred could be because a friend may have triggered your boyfriend's hidden insecurities and he is now jealous. Perhaps your friend is really smart and makes the guy feel stupid in front of you. Be that as it may, your boyfriend is jealous deep down and worries that this friend is somehow better than him.

He says your clothes are too revealing

He may be saying that you wear skirts that are too short, dress inappropriately, or show too much of your skin. This behavior, and being too biased towards your style, is a sign of jealousy in a man.

He's too touchy

Excessive touchiness, that's how to understand that a guy is jealous. A man can be offended even when you go out to just chat with friends. He may come and hug you while you are communicating. Or squeeze your hand tightly. He is trying to show his resentment with all his appearance. Therefore, if you notice this behavior, especially when your acquaintances and friends come over, then your boyfriend is really jealous.

Is your boyfriend showing any of these signs of jealousy? Poll Options are limited because JavaScript is disabled in your browser.

Symptoms of delusions of jealousy

The main symptoms of the disease are suspicions and accusations of a partner being unfaithful. In addition, the patient may often experience other abnormal mental reactions and beliefs, which makes his actions and behavior inadequate. symptoms of delusions of jealousy are characteristic :

1. It is typical for jealous people to suspect their other half of wanting to achieve his death (to poison him, to infect him with a fatal venous disease).
2. Patients are on the verge of a psychological breakdown. This is characterized by suffering, anger, depression, and possible attacks of anxiety and irritability.
3. A jealous person is constantly looking for evidence of adultery: checking the phone, email messages, personal belongings, and doing surveillance.
4. It is typical for jealous people to arrange regular interrogations with their half, often ending in heated quarrels with scandal, even assault.
5. Being under constant pressure, the patient's spouses often make false confessions of infidelity, which leads to an intensification of the syndrome.
6. Most of the jealous people are not even able to imagine the image of a fictional rival.
7. In some cases, patients are afraid or do not want to take measures that can prove or disprove the fact of treason.

Kinds

Jealousy characteristic of men can be divided into four main types.

1. Competition, stereotypes. This condition is caused by the presence of a rival when building a relationship with a girl.
2. Projected, mirrored, inverted. A person has a desire to “go to the side.” He transfers the peculiarities of his thinking to another person - the girl he loves. In his opinion, other strategies of desire are unacceptable.
3. Innate, trauma-induced jealousy.
4. Delusional, paranoid jealousy. This condition refers to a type of mental disorder that most often develops against the background of alcoholism.

Unfounded

This type of jealousy is not a real threat, but it is unpleasant. It affects men who have unresolved intrapersonal conflict rooted in childhood. This emotion is especially common in people born into large families where they had to fight for attention. With good deeds, illnesses, good behavior, grades, etc. Such “unloved” children, in their opinion, pass this pattern of behavior on to their partner in the future. Unreasonable male jealousy brings discomfort to both him and his girlfriend, because it is not based on anything.

Reasonable

There is a basis or logical explanation for such jealousy. If a woman spends the night with her girlfriends, often goes to clubs without her lover, drinks alcohol, openly flirts with other men, her partner’s jealousy is guaranteed, and that’s normal!

Or, for example, a woman remains on good terms with her ex-boyfriend. And there seems to be nothing wrong with that. But then why is a man still jealous of the past, because then he didn’t even know it? There is an explanation for this:

• he understands that you were close to this person in every way, and it hurts;
• constantly comparing yourself to your ex-boyfriend, which keeps you on edge;
• any gestures you make towards your ex will be perceived as a potential risk of losing you.

If you think this is an innocent friendship, face the truth and mentally switch places. Male jealousy is most justified here - he will not tolerate any “tribute from the past” on his territory. And don’t even try to make friends with your men - they don’t need it!

Pathological

This is the most dangerous jealousy of a person. He doesn’t need a reason or fantasy - he is sure that his woman is cheating on him. The partner’s behavior does not play any role here - all equally chosen ones will harass her. Jealousy is dangerous because, in addition to moral humiliation and horror, a woman faces the fate of physical retribution. You should be especially wary of a person intoxicated - freely chosen words will provoke outbursts of aggression and anger, which can have the most dire consequences.

How to recognize a pathological jealous person:

• Bans on everything: leaving the house, making phone calls, beautiful clothes, working in a male team, female colleagues, going to the pharmacy where the pharmacist is a man;
• Sudden outbursts of rage and threats of physical violence against the chosen one and her (alleged) lover;
• Real surveillance of his woman (we are not just talking about phone calls, pages on social networks and wiretapping, but about real persecution).

Of course, we are talking about a mentally ill person. Your arguments and logical explanations will be accompanied by even more resistance and bitterness. After all, the idea that his wife is unfaithful to him and that everyone around him knows about it and laughs at him is, of course, alive in his mind. Sooner or later, his stressful state will turn into something big and terrible, from which it is better to escape in advance.

exaggerated

It is more difficult to live with such a jealous person, because he does not show his jealousy in public. With a smile on his face, he communicates with his wife in company, but at home he turns into a real brawler and despot. If, going out into the street, he kissed his brother on the cheek - your man mentally put you to bed, get ready for such a hot interrogation!

Treatment of delusions of jealousy in our clinic

Treatment of delusions of jealousy should be carried out in a psychoneurological hospital and under the supervision of experienced psychiatrists and psychotherapists. This is due to the fact that the patient is not able to adequately perceive many things. In addition, exacerbation of delusional disorder can pose a threat to the patient or those around him. This requires constant monitoring of the patient.

Treatment of delusions of jealousy in a hospital has another undeniable advantage - it allows for a full diagnosis of the body, identifying all mental and physiological deviations from the norm. Also, during treatment in a hospital, you can choose and apply the most effective therapy, while protecting the patient from factors that provoke an exacerbation of the condition.

Treatment of delusions of jealousy in men and women is carried out in the following areas:

• treatment of the underlying mental disorder;
• prescription of psychopharmacological drugs;
• conducting cognitive behavioral and family psychotherapy.

The earlier the disorder is identified, the more effective and efficient the therapy will be.

Psychologist's advice

A woman’s jealousy is a destructive, negative emotional and sensory state of a woman, which is expressed by the lack of desired contact with her partner. More often, such relationships are of a loving nature, that is, the girl experiences some feelings for the object.

The psychology of jealousy is complex. The state in question is characteristic of the sensory-emotional sphere. When interacting with other people, the girl relies on stereotypes of attitude towards her. In her perception, a guy must behave in a certain way. He must be completely absorbed by the girl, direct all his actions towards her well-being, she must protect herself from the attacks of competitors (fear of loss, self-doubt).

Jealousy is caused by a discrepancy between ideas and reality in relationships with people. Lack of flexibility, the inability to adequately adapt to changing conditions includes a defense mechanism - jealousy. This state is aimed at maintaining the acceptable nature of the relationship with a partner, it minimizes (deceptively) the likelihood of loss and destruction of familiar/expected living conditions.

There are several reasons for female jealousy.

1. Fear of loneliness. Instinctive, evolutionary defense mechanism. A woman in nature has always been vulnerable without the support of a man, especially if there are children. In the modern world, the help of a partner continues to play an important role. Another important aspect is that any person is afraid of being left alone in old age. This fear exacerbates the feeling of preserving the actual or potential partner whom the girl sees next to her.
2. Self-doubt, low self-esteem. Women constantly live in a world of veiled struggle with competitors for the best men. Decreased self-esteem reduces competitiveness. An insecure girl is afraid of losing her existing partner, because competitors in her eyes (and therefore in the eyes of a man) look more advantageous.
3. Selfishness. The girl looks at the world and surrounding objects from the position of the owner. Everything around is aimed at satisfying her needs. The partner also plays the same role. It is difficult for an egoist to understand the existence of personal interests in other people. Any deviation in the partner’s behavior from the expected framework leads to rejection in the form of jealousy.
4. Extremes. In perception, the girl does not know how to perceive average decisions. The event takes on an extreme evaluative character. Everything has one shade - either good or bad. Consciousness does not allow intermediate stages. Every deviation in a partner’s behavior takes on extreme forms. He is late - he cheats, he is silent - he is hiding something. This attitude creates mistrust in relationships, and this is a key symptom of the emergence of the condition in question.
5. Excessive impressionability, imagination. The indirect reason for the development of the condition in question is the girl’s excessive, pathological emotionality. She perceives any events exaggeratedly. Any event that goes beyond the usual world grows in the imagination to unimaginable levels of significance.

In a man, a feeling of jealousy is born from the desire to solely possess a woman. By its psychological nature, the definition of jealousy is close to envy. Jealousy is associated with possessiveness and selfishness.

Insecure and complex men are more prone to jealousy. They are afraid of losing a woman, so they try to establish total control over her meetings, communication, and correspondence. Men who are confident and respect their chosen ones are not prone to suspiciousness and suspiciousness - their relationships are built on mutual trust.

Interesting. If a man is constantly jealous, it means that he himself is most likely cheating on his wife. After yet another “step to the left,” such a husband reproaches his wife at home for infidelity, wanting to divert suspicion from himself.

If a man is overcome by attacks of jealousy, then it’s time to understand the reasons for doubting his chosen one. If there is something in the behavior of your other half that does not suit you and worries you, rather than tormenting yourself with negative feelings, it is better to talk openly with her about it.

Important! With manic jealousy, only a psychiatrist can help. The woman must convince the man to undergo treatment.

Psychologists agree that suspiciousness is detrimental to relationships, and the fight against it is difficult. If a woman builds a relationship with a jealous man, psychologists advise:

1. Remember that true love, which leads to a happy marriage, is built on trust, mutual respect and care. At the same time, both partners have the right to personal freedom to communicate with friends of both sexes and to spend leisure time separately. In an alliance with a jealous person, this is impossible. It is worth thinking about what is more important? What sacrifices is a woman willing to make for love? Is the chosen one worth such sacrifices?
2. Violence in any form is unacceptable in a relationship. A woman should think, first of all, about her safety and the safety of her children. Reproaches of infidelity, bordering on violence, signal to a woman that she needs to run away from such a man.
3. Each person in a relationship has the right to the inviolability of their personal belongings: phone, notebook. If partners do not respect this right, the relationship is doomed and will sooner or later end in breakup.

Love without jealousy

Psychologists advise how you can deal with your partner’s jealousy, as they say, at home.

What to do if your husband or boyfriend is jealous for no reason? Methods of dealing with a husband's unreasonable jealousy:

• try to find out the cause of jealousy and eliminate it;
• talk with your husband about the reasons for this behavior and explain the inconsistency of such a reaction;
• clearly define the boundaries of personal space, prove your jealousy without sacrificing interests;
• avoid situations that can cause jealousy;
• get to know all his friends and relatives so that he understands that the marriage is not in danger;
• ask for help or support from your husband to show your trust and need for him.

Often, men are jealous of a woman even towards a child - she begins to pay much more attention to the baby than to himself, so he unconsciously begins to envy the child and takes it out on his beloved woman.

To get rid of this behavior of a man, you need to take the following measures:

• talk to the man and say that he is still her favorite person and the head of the family;
• eliminate rivalry between man and child;
• reveal paternal instincts, include a man in the process of raising a child;
• find free time for a romantic evening or date.

It also happens that jealousy is a man’s original character trait. Relationships with such a guy cause many problems, and it is almost impossible to change his behavior.

However, there are several ways to dull a guy's jealousy:

• talk to the guy about the reasons for his jealousy, explain and prove your fidelity;
• come to a compromise in the relationship, establish rules about behavior and reactions - in which cases he has no right to be jealous and make scenes, and so on. For violation of the rules, it is also necessary to establish punishment;
• come up with a joint holiday or leisure activity;
• avoid provocative actions;
• set boundaries of personal space;
• suspect him of treason so that he feels how unpleasant it is.

Risk group for the development of pathology

Doctors were able to establish that more often people experience delusions of jealousy who:

• abuse alcohol;
• take psychoactive substances;
• suffer from hallucinosis, paranoid personality disorder;
• have been abused in the past;
• experience difficulties interacting with members of the opposite sex;
• have pronounced sadistic tendencies.