The other day I received a message from my subscriber.
He was interested in the question of how to maintain composure if a woman is fooling around, doesn’t say “Yes” or “No,” responds slowly to messages, and sometimes doesn’t answer calls.
Here is a quote from his message:
“- Dmitry, your article about girls who don’t respond to messages says nothing about a socially acceptable way to deal with this situation.
Personally, it’s hard for me not to take this to heart, especially if we are talking about a girl who has been fooling me for more than five years.
I understand that this is a common phenomenon among beautiful women, that in this way they fill their worth, but this does not make it any easier for me.
I'd rather hear "no" than waste my life waiting.
I twitch from every phone call and cannot sleep peacefully.
But when I try to leave her, I stop answering phone calls, she gets offended and hopeful.
She says she needs me. So it continues from year to year.
Where can I get the moral strength to do this and cope with my emotions?”
You know, before, when I just started counseling men on relationships, I made it a rule to answer every person who wrote or called me, no matter what.
For me it was a matter of honor and a source of pride.
I could be relied upon. And I was very annoyed when they didn’t answer me.
I perceived such people, whether men or women, as ill-mannered rude people.
For me this was something unforgivable.
I believe that even in the busiest of schedules, we can always find 10 seconds to write a message or 10 minutes to answer a phone call.
In my opinion, only a person who does not have an ounce of respect for you can ignore you.
Now I look at these things completely differently.
Often I don’t even notice that someone is not answering me, especially if this is a person who is not close to me.
And, despite all my previous principles, now I no longer answer to everyone without exception.
Somewhere 10-15% of messages and comments remain unanswered.
I still try to respond to the best of my ability, but I give myself permission to make exceptions.
The reason why I have changed (my attitude towards unanswered messages, why I no longer pursue women via text messages or phone calls, why I don't always respond) is what I want to share with you now.
Is it worth chasing a girl?
Imagine a situation: you really like a woman, you want to get closer to her, you take steps towards meeting her.
But she slips away at the last moment or simply ignores him. How to proceed? Is it worth trying to win or is it easier to switch to another girl? It is difficult to give a definite answer. Everyone chooses for themselves. And for the decision to be conscious, you need to think about 5 important points.
1. What kind of woman are you dealing with?
Who is in front of you? What is she breathing? What values does it rely on?
Very roughly, women can be divided into 2 categories:
- Promising. They have a rich inner world, strive for serious relationships, respect themselves and others. With this you can start a family and expect returns.
- Pacifiers. This includes mercantile people who think about how to squeeze more out of their boyfriend, fidgety people, etc. There is no point in wasting time and resources on such people; at best, you will get sex and a headache as a bonus.
