If someone knew how to make a girl fall in love by correspondence, this sacred knowledge would most likely be carved in stone and hidden in a secret safe.
We hope that you, like us, understand perfectly well that there are no universal phrases that will help make anyone feel feelings for anyone. But there are secrets of productive and successful communication that we will now share with you.
With them, your chances of the match turning into dating, and then into a relationship, will increase significantly.
How to interest a girl in correspondence: 9 mistakes that should not be made
So, you coincided, you came up with a cool first message to attract her attention... Wait, haven’t thought of it yet? Then read the separate material on how to write it.
- M+F What to write to a girl in the first message: 6 strategies that will help you get an answer It’s time to start dialogues.
And everything seemed to be going like clockwork, you started communicating, but at some point everything went wrong... If this has happened to you more than once and already resembles the system, perhaps you are making one of the most common mistakes in correspondence.
Don't force things
We understand your desire to quickly move from the letters on the smartphone screen to the contemplation of her beautiful eyes in real life, but the very beginning of the correspondence is usually not the most suitable moment for a quick transition to a new stage.
Don’t hesitate to spend at least half an hour “testing the waters.” After about a dozen messages, it will already be clear what to do best: call her for a meeting today (or on the weekend), switch to a more convenient messenger, or... stop communicating.
The last option is also quite possible: a coincidence or a request for friendship is not a promise of love until death, and both of you are free to stop communicating at any time.
Avoid monosyllabic phrases
"How are you?" - not a bad phrase, but it’s still better to use it when you’re writing to a friend, rather than to a girl you don’t know well. Why? Because the rules of decency require answering this question either “good” or “normal.”
Agree, it’s somehow awkward to tell a stranger about your problems or brag to him about your successes. And after a polite, but largely faceless answer, she will also ask you about your business, and you, like a well-mannered guy, will answer the same. All. Dead end. Dialogue is dead. The same is the case with direct questions that require a monosyllabic answer “yes”, “no”, “I don’t know” and so on.
"Multibook" is also not worth using
The other extreme. We all express ourselves differently, and there's nothing wrong with being verbose, especially if you're really interested in this girl and can't wait to tell her everything. But hold your horses.
We won’t speak for everyone, but for many, long messages from people they don’t know well, especially several in a row, are at least surprising and alarming (sometimes they cause other, more unpleasant feelings). So save lengthy discussions and detailed explanations until the moment you get to know each other a little better and understand that you are “on the same wavelength.”
Don't get lost
“Why don’t things ever work out for me with girls from dating apps and social networks?” You shouldn’t ask this question if you were the person who couldn’t/didn’t want/didn’t find the time or forgot to respond to her last message.
Or he did it, but three months later, when she had already gone on ten dates with someone else, she fell in love and changed her relationship status on social networks.
We, of course, are exaggerating, but if you are really interested in this girl, do not play with her in outdated and failed pick-up games “to get interested”, but communicate with her here and now.
Avoid asking too personal questions
There is such a thing as “fellow traveler syndrome”: it is easier to talk to a stranger (especially on the Internet) about frank topics. But only on the condition that everything happens according to mutual desire, and you both need it.
At the very beginning of correspondence, it is too easy to make a mistake, and intimate questions are highly likely to be an unwanted crossing of a person’s personal boundaries. Regardless of whether you're looking for a one-night stand or something more serious and permanent, we advise you not to rush into intimate communication from the very beginning.
Watch your speech
Yes, not all of us have a philological education, and you may well have not even a “four”, but a “three” in Russian in your certificate. We also vaguely suspect that you don’t sleep with the Explanatory Dictionary. But everything has limits.
- M+F 6 Types of Messages You Shouldn't Send on Dating Apps (They Ruin Everything) These messages kill the conversation.
If you stubbornly ignore commas or use them purely intuitively, and the number of errors and typos in a four-letter word can reach six... don’t be offended that they stop communicating with you. The girl is simply tired of playing cryptographer and deciphering the meaning of your messages.
We're not forcing you to take a tutor or, oh my God, read books, but at least turn on autocorrect and re-read your messages before sending - just out of respect for the interlocutor.
Don't be afraid of her initiative
Tired of the image of the “alpha male conqueror” imposed on men? Then imagine how tired the girls are of sitting and waiting for the guys to make the first move.
So don’t be alarmed if she texts you first, maintains a dialogue, or initiates your meeting.
Before you hang any offensive label on her, answer yourself the question - how active were you and were you interested in your communication? Maybe it's time to show her that you like her too?
Don't try to change her priorities
If this was not indicated in your profiles, then in the process of communication you should have learned about what each of you wants. And what to do if you are looking for a serious relationship, and she is looking for a one-night stand (or vice versa)? The right thing to do is become friends and continue to look for a person with similar priorities.
Because “changing,” “redoing,” and especially “correcting” someone is a very thankless (and toxic) task. So let's agree: no violence - respect the wishes and views of your interlocutor, even if they are not close to you.
And finally - don’t delay the meeting
Yes, this is also a mistake. By respecting her boundaries and not wanting to push, sometimes you can “blink” the moment. And then the girl will stop communicating with you, thinking that you don’t want to move to the next level, and you don’t like her enough. How do you know when it's time? Best of all, with the heart.
It will also help that you communicate a lot and constantly, flirt, and she begins to unobtrusively and regularly ask about your plans and communicate her desire to go somewhere, which is prevented by the lack of company. Does everything fit? Then don't slow down!
Rules of communication for guys
To please a girl, you need to conquer her. And when the only tool is correspondence, you have to rely mainly on personal qualities and communication skills. For some, this comes naturally, but if you don’t feel strong enough or experienced enough, I’ll help you with the basic rules.
- Be polite. Say hello, say goodbye, inquire about news and well-being, and say thank you.
- Be interested. Don't just ask the trivial question “what's new?”, ask about the girl. About what she likes, about childhood, about plans, about opinions on various issues.
- Try to write in an original way. Tell us how unusual some events look to you. Ask unexpected questions, praise for the unobvious, make jokes.
- Don't pester me with questions. If a girl doesn't answer, she might be busy.
- Follow the rules of spelling and punctuation.
- Don't talk about everything. There is no need to retell everything that is happening in your life and demand the same from the girl.
How to interest a girl in correspondence: 9 friendly tips
So, we figured out what not to do. Now let's get to the fun part. But we warn you right away: these tips will help you become a more pleasant and desirable interlocutor, and not completely make a girl fall in love with you.
Because “chemistry” defies logic - this is its best and at the same time worst feature.
Listen to her
The best and truest advice. We all like this (in the sense of being heard), and you can't go wrong with this tactic.
- M+F Why you should always listen to what your girlfriend tells you (we're not kidding)
Ask clarifying questions, show sincere interest, and when the opportunity arises, remember the fact that she told you about herself in the past - most likely, it will not go unnoticed.
Ask questions (but in moderation)
At first, and even after some time, the dialogue may not go well or simply “get up”. Then you need to treat him like a stalled motorcycle engine: try to press the gas a couple more times - that is, ask her a couple more questions.
But, alas, you won’t be able to “overhaul the engine” when talking to a girl. If three of your messages sent at different times remain unanswered... Then you just need to come to terms with it and move on.
Don't burden her with negativity
We all have bad days and even weeks, sometimes even years (we hope this is not the case for you). But at the initial stage of dating, it is not customary to talk about troubles in principle.
And in further communication, such information with a minus sign should be dosed, and not only in communication with the girl, but also with friends and family.
You can share your fear, disappointment or grief with a person with whom you are close, but you should not abuse their sympathy and support, otherwise they will soon start to avoid you.
Remember funny stories
You probably have dozens of them! There's no need to shower her with them like a cornucopia, but if something in your dialogue made you remember a hilarious story, feel free to share it. When you laugh together, it brings you closer.
Be unconventional
Now we’ll shock you a little: imagine that you’re not the only one reading this article. Let’s say more: there are also those who have found somewhere “guaranteed to work” examples of how to interest a girl in correspondence.
So don’t be one of those who build dialogues with her according to someone else’s approved scheme - the more often you surprise her (in a good way), the greater the chances will be that you will become exactly the guy whose messages she looks forward to.
Include flirting
Yes, and yes again. You like her, so don't forget to remind her of it. But we repeat again: not with washed-out phrases, but with our own. You can upgrade this skill using a separate material.
- M+F How to learn to flirt? 14 rules that will help you avoid messing up
Add a visual element
Correspondence is not only letters, but also multimedia. So don't forget to use this tool! Once you've gotten to know each other a little and have been talking for a couple of days or weeks, it's normal to start sending her funny memes (you already know what she'll like).
It could also be funny things you saw on the way to work, your selfies (why not) and maybe even elements of sexting - but only if she clearly and directly said that she wants this.
Share with her what you like
In continuation of the previous point: a track that can’t get out of your head, a movie that you watched in one go, or an article that you want to discuss. In order for your communication to continue and become closer, you need to constantly “throw wood” into the “fire” of your dialogue.
And it’s also worth gradually “opening up” to a special interlocutor for you. But more about this in the next paragraph.
Be yourself
Did you read all the material to the end? Now that's motivation! Now catch the main and, perhaps, the only secret of how you can make a penpal girl fall in love with you: be yourself! Because otherwise she will fall in love not with you, but with the carefully created image.
The theory about “halves” is very controversial, but there are definitely a lot of “your” and “not your” people in the world. And if trying to win a girl’s attention looks like a real quest that requires a lot of effort and strict adherence to instructions, then ask yourself honestly - is this really what you need?
Because we can say for sure, and your friends who are in happy relationships will confirm this, that when “it”, there is no need to make special efforts and try your best. But this is strictly between us.
- Author: Maria Minaeva
What not to write
There are things that will definitely scare a girl away. They would be unpleasant for anyone to receive, and they would definitely kill correspondence. Each girl, in addition to them, has her own points, but you have to find out about them yourself.
I will list the general prohibitions, and you do not fall into their trap.
- Grammatical errors
- Dirty hints
- Obscene language
- Excessive machismo and overconfidence
- Narcissism and complete focus on oneself, lack of attention to the girl
- Too many emoji
- Standard phrases like “hi, how are you?” at the beginning of the correspondence
- Constant complaints about problems and life
- Rudeness
- Coercive language, pressure.
You know how to make a girl fall in love by correspondence and now go to the rating of the best dating sites and start upgrading your skills!
When to text a girl: the best time for the first message
If you are the same pumped-up man as the students of the AKLONI Academy, then you can write whenever you want. However, it is logical to assume that you should not delay the moment of the first message. The dynamics of modern life are such that every person experiences a huge number of small and large events in a day.
If a girl is cool, then meeting a man for her is not an extraordinary incident, but a normal occurrence. If you remain silent for a long time, she will forget you and lose primary interest.
Therefore, it doesn’t cost anything to remind yourself about yourself on the first day after meeting. Before you start chatting with a girl, put yourself in a light, playful mood and send the first message. Something like “Hi, this is Anton! We met yesterday at the club.”
You can send a funny picture or video. This will lift her spirits and give her the opportunity to joke back or react in some way to spark further conversation.
Important! Funny pictures or videos should be really funny and understandable. Leave jokes that only a select few will understand for your friends. For a girl there should be something universal.
Psychology of a woman falling in love
How to make your husband fall in love with you again - is it possible to interest him again?
You can recognize the feelings of a woman in love by external signs. She may not talk about her feelings, but she can give hints; the opposite sex often does not understand these signs.
The main signs of how girls fall in love:
- The woman looks intoxicated. There are people who outwardly often look like they have had too much alcohol. Others constantly smile next to the object they fall in love with. This is associated with hormones; they are released upon contact with the object of love in the first stages of a relationship. If a woman is in love, then she can laugh at the ridiculous jokes of the man she likes.
- Copying some habits. When a woman wants to become attractive to a man and attract his attention, she unconsciously imitates him. This is manifested in her behavior, in the use of words and actions.
- A special look. The look can never deceive and betrays feelings and emotions. There is no doubt that there is love if a woman looks carefully at the man she adores, while there is a smile on her face.
Happy woman in love
- Remembers all the details. A loving woman always remembers and knows various details (a man’s favorite dish, what he did as a child and other moments from his life), she is interested in this. A woman who is interested in a man always strives to learn as much as possible about him. She tries to attend the same events as her lover. She does this in order to better understand him and find out his sympathies.
- She gives relevant gifts. This point is a consequence of the previous one. Very often, a woman in love makes gifts that match the interests and preferences of a man. She finds it attractive when her lover is happy with the surprise.
- Jealousy of other women. Love affects men and women almost equally. If a woman shows jealousy and possessiveness, these are signs that she is in love with a man. A woman in love can even follow him; she monitors his activity on social networks, studies his profile, and may show interest in his correspondence and calls, especially with other women.
Don't give reasons for jealousy
Note! A woman will always make it clear that she does not like it if a man talks to other females. She can express this not directly, but show it non-verbally through actions, facial expressions and body language.
- Behavior and appearance change. A woman in love always looks spectacular. When she is with a man, she becomes soft, smiles and laughs. In general, she gains the wings of love and enjoys life. Even if a girl is usually confident, when she is with the man she loves, she may become shy or expressive.
- Requests for help. When a woman needs real help, or even she exaggerates a little with it, then she turns to her beloved for it. If there are more than isolated requests, then this is a sign that the woman has feelings for this man.
Now it's clear how girls fall in love. A guy can take advantage of this, but he still needs to know about psychological techniques.
What not to do
How to find yourself and your purpose in life: what does it mean and where to start
Guys very often make fatal mistakes when trying to make a woman fall in love with them, and at other stages of a relationship.
You can't blame
What not to do:
- judge and evaluate her qualities and actions;
- redo, criticize her behavior;
- to be rude, humiliate, be rude;
- expect it to change;
- obsess over how to make a girl love you.
Psychological techniques will help a guy solve the problem of how to quickly make girls fall in love with him. A young man needs to take into account each of the above tips and tricks, and should also pay attention to mistakes that should not be made.
If this doesn’t work, you need to understand that you may not meet your soul mate right away and don’t get hung up on coming up with fail-safe ways. You can make friends and have fun in the process. Enjoy life and wait as long as it takes to meet your life partner, and not manipulate the feelings of another. You should also not try to make a married person fall in love with you, this can destroy the family and lead to physical conflicts.
It must be remembered that regardless of whether or not it is possible to return an ex-girlfriend, the guy must, first of all, having completed the entire process of his improvement, move on.
What's all the salt?
“Swing” is one of the main techniques and strategies for falling in love. It is also called “Closer-further” or “Attract-repel”. That is, a certain contrast.
Its peculiarity is efficiency and work at all stages of communication with women. In other words, there are techniques that can be used to arouse attraction in women in the early stages of dating, while others work great during the stages of dating or a new relationship. “Swings” are effective always and everywhere, they can be used even while married.
romantic evening date in restaurant happy young couple with wine glass tea and cake
The essence of the method is that you rock your girlfriend with emotions. First you attract her, then you repel her, thereby arousing her interest in you. A conflict of feelings and experiences is created that you really want to resolve.
In other words, first you let them experience positive emotions, and then negative ones. Even the most advanced girls in psychology fall for this trick.
