Question to a psychologist: what is a midlife crisis and how to survive it?


General information

Many people at a certain period experience a so-called midlife crisis, usually associated with a revaluation of life experience.
A similar psychological state can be observed both at 30 and at 60 years of age. This is a kind of transitional period when a person seems to have already missed many opportunities, and at the same time old age is very close. Developmental psychology is such that the onset of such a period is observed at different ages in different people. And for some, such experiences are completely uncharacteristic. Each person experiences moments of crisis in their own way. Some ignore their responsibilities and indulge in entertainment, others fall into a depressed state.

Despite the fact that previously this term was applied only to men, now psychologists are also talking about a midlife crisis in women.

Currently, this concept defines psychological, physical, and social problems that are observed in representatives of both sexes. More often, such manifestations are observed among residents of large cities, as well as among those whose professions are related to creativity.

What age-related crises are typical for people during life, how this condition can be diagnosed, and also what to do if the person himself or his loved ones encounter such manifestations will be discussed in this article.

Why is it important to understand what is happening?

A crisis is a turning point in life. Knowing the reasons allows you to reduce its manifestations and go through a difficult period more effectively. In many cases, professional help is not required.

If a person understands what is happening to him and why, he can adjust his life, avoid mistakes, for example, do not abruptly leave his family.

If unpleasant symptoms appear:

  • depression,
  • insomnia,
  • severe irritability
  • loss of meaning in life,

then it is better to consult a psychologist.

Pathogenesis

Age-related crises in psychology are defined as periods of transition from one age stage to another. A number of such crises occur in a person’s life. Certain age-related crises in women and men are accompanied by the fact that the previous system of relations with the outside world collapses and a new one is built. Consequently, age-related crises in men and women are a difficult period for both a person and his loved ones.

There are different theories regarding the pathogenesis of the midlife crisis. One of them indicates that in middle age a person develops developmental tasks, which can be solved by certain skills and abilities. If the crisis ends well, peace of mind and certain new experiences emerge. The main task is to make a choice between stagnation and generativity (the spread of interests beyond the limits of one’s well-being). If the second option is realized, the person identifies himself with other people and his descendants. Consequently, the problem of the meaning of life is at least partially solved. When choosing stagnation, a person resigns himself to the usual way of existence. As a result, this can lead to depression and disappointment in the future.

What do you need to know?

Not only the person himself, but his loved ones need to know about the crisis. The support of other people is important, understanding why an individual acts in a certain way . You need to know that these are not just sudden changes in character, social connections, preferences, but a temporary phenomenon that has to be experienced.

The personality undergoes a transformation and changes internally. Often after a crisis there comes an upsurge in personal life and work. A person enters a new phase of life, new interests appear.

If severe depression occurs, then the help of a psychologist and loved ones is needed.

Classification

Speaking about crisis periods in a person’s life, scientists, first of all, highlight the crises of childhood. They are determined by the characteristics of mental development during periods of age-related crises in children. Different experts classify them differently. But in general, the table of childhood crises looks like this:

  • Child's 1st year crisis . During this period, the infant period of development ends. A 1-year crisis can last up to six months. Developmental psychology during this period is such that the child gradually becomes more independent - he learns to walk and talk.
  • Three year old crisis . At this time, the child begins to see his own “I” more clearly. At the age of 3, a child’s desire for independence is typical. During this period, the child may be stubborn, protest, and jealous.
  • Crisis of 7 years in a child . The crises of children of primary school age are associated with the formation of his social role. A 7-year-old child gradually begins to realize his role in social relations. Accordingly, when a child’s 7-year-old crisis manifests itself, his age-related psychology is such that values ​​are gradually overestimated. Children's spontaneity is lost, the child can be capricious, sometimes he withdraws into himself. Children of primary school age often seem uncontrollable. During this period, they develop their own inner life.
  • Adolescence crisis . Develops at approximately 11-13 years of age. The crisis of adolescence in psychology is defined as a period of protest against upbringing and lifestyle in general. The teenager experiences manifestations of internal conflict due to the fact that adults do not accept the teenager’s claims to adulthood. The crisis of adolescence can be manifested by appropriate behavior, conflicts with adults, etc.
  • Middle age crisis . Both the midlife crisis in men and women manifests itself in different people at different periods of life. Speaking about when the midlife crisis begins in men and how long this period lasts, it should be noted that these indicators depend on character, lifestyle and other factors.

Some researchers classify crisis periods of adulthood more broadly. Thus, US expert Gail Sheehy defines the following periods in adult life:

  • 20-22 years (for some, this period begins at 18 years old) - a person moves to early adulthood and “breaks away” from his parents. Gradually, men and women develop individuality and realize their life plans.
  • 30 years - during this period a person moves to middle adulthood. At this time, the highest performance is noted, but the person is worried about the discrepancy between what he wants and what is available.
  • 40 years - during this period, the midlife crisis in women and men is associated with a change in attitude towards what previously seemed very important. A person realizes the loss of youth and worries about it.

At the same time, G. Sheehy speaks about the specificity of life crises in women, since their lives are more connected with their family.

Whole life ahead

If you understand that half of your life is behind you, and some dreams remain dreams, do not despair - you still have time to realize them. The only obstacle that may appear on your way is self-doubt and internal barriers, which, as a rule, are associated with certain fears and stereotypes. Think: what is stopping you from starting to do what you like right now? Make a list of limiting reasons for yourself and evaluate how much they depend on your decision.

Causes

The development of a midlife crisis may be due to a number of reasons.

  • Physiological reasons . During the period when a person shows signs of crisis, the first manifestations of physiological aging are noted. This natural process is accompanied by external changes, the development and exacerbation of chronic diseases, and weakening of vital functions. This leads to uncertainty about the future, nervousness, and depression. A person gradually realizes that those things that he could easily do in his youth are now not given to him without difficulty. At this time, bad habits often appear and become stable: alcohol abuse, smoking. At the same time, the person realizes that he would like to get rid of these habits, and the fight against them leads to a depressive state.
  • Psychological reasons . In middle age, a person experiences a certain transition between youth and old age. This leads to a reassessment of values ​​and the meaning of life. When you feel that life goals were set incorrectly, dissatisfaction appears. At the same time, physiological characteristics and the realization that at this age not everything can be done do not allow you to change your life. As a result, constant worries about this appear, a depressive state develops,
  • Social reasons . Social relationships significantly influence a person’s internal state. Family relationships are very important in this context. Those who have them harmoniously are less susceptible to crisis manifestations. But if there are constant problems in the family or loneliness, and friendly and professional relationships do not work out, this can cause depression.

The following factors can influence the development of a crisis state:

  • Tendency to depression , hypochondria , anxiety , immaturity of personality.
  • Poor physical health, chronic diseases.
  • Family problems.
  • Difficulties in social communication, problems with finances.
  • Professional burnout.

Stabilization

A successful exit from a crisis involves reformatting a person’s consciousness towards an adequate real understanding of life and its limitations. Maintaining a harmonious family and relationships becomes a priority, while one's own selfishness is relegated to the background .

A woman who has emerged from a crisis with a breakthrough in personal growth realizes how important it is to enjoy what you have, without paying much attention to things that are likely to remain unattainable. Thus, there is a tendency towards satisfaction with one’s own position and place in life.

All this marks the onset of a period of stability, an age of wisdom and understanding of life priorities . For many women, the process of renewal, launched with the onset of the crisis, ultimately leads to a calm and happy life.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Symptoms of a midlife crisis

According to research, symptoms of a midlife crisis do not always appear in men and women. Moreover, it is precisely the belief that at about 40 years of age a certain crisis should be observed that leads to the fact that a person experiences some of the symptoms of this condition.

In general, the crisis state in women and men is manifested by the following signs:

  • There is a strong desire to improve your appearance and physical fitness.
  • A person strives to play sports and practices extreme sports.
  • Symptoms of a midlife crisis in women often manifest themselves as sudden changes in appearance - a woman can change her hairstyle or hair color. Women often undergo cosmetic procedures for the purpose of rejuvenation. Both women and men often buy a lot of new fashionable clothes during this period.
  • In both men and women, the symptoms of this condition are associated with the desire to eat right, follow a diet, and take dietary supplements.
  • There is a feeling of dissatisfaction when thinking about your own achievements.
  • From time to time, a man or woman compares himself with other people who have achieved more.
  • Previously favorite activities seem boring, and your job and career may not satisfy you.
  • Irritability and sudden attacks of anger often appear.
  • Problems with sleep appear - insomnia or, conversely, constant drowsiness and fatigue.
  • Memory problems and deterioration of cognitive abilities are noted.
  • The person becomes more emotional and stressed.
  • An unexpected interest appears in painting, poetry, or styles of music that were not previously of interest.
  • A person begins to be interested in religion and philosophy.
  • Thoughts about old age and death often come, and episodes from childhood are also often recalled.

The following manifestations are typical for a midlife crisis:

  • irritability;
  • anxiety;
  • uneven mood;
  • feeling of loneliness;
  • pessimism;
  • conflict;
  • prostration;
  • constant thoughts about your life;
  • a feeling of futility, sometimes hopelessness.

Treatment with folk remedies

Folk remedies can become auxiliary methods aimed at overcoming anxiety and generally strengthening the body.

  • It is recommended to regularly drink herbal teas, which may include valerian, mint, chamomile, yarrow, lemon balm, strawberry, etc.
  • A decoction of rose hips, hawthorn, and cranberry juice is useful.
  • It is recommended to consume honey before bed, which helps normalize sleep.
  • Remedy with dried fruits. Mix equal parts of dried apricots, prunes, raisins and walnuts (100 g each), chop everything and add 50 g of honey. Store the product in the refrigerator, use 1 tbsp. l. 2-3 times a day.

Prevention

Basic tips for preventing a midlife crisis are as follows:

  • Get rid of bad habits.
  • Eat as healthily as possible. The diet should be dominated by vegetables and fruits.
  • Play sports and walk outdoors as much as possible.
  • Communicate more with people who inspire and give positive emotions.
  • Learn to think positively and find as many pleasant moments in life as possible.
  • Try to maintain a friendly and warm atmosphere in the family.

Do not be nervous

It is normal to experience an identity crisis, regardless of age or personal achievements. Sooner or later you may come to the realization that you have already achieved everything, or would like to try something new. The main thing is to figure out where this feeling came from. Try to describe what exactly doesn’t suit you in your current life and how you can fix it. It is not necessary to immediately start changing your life and run out to buy a motorcycle: it is enough to set the vector for positive thinking, showing yourself that you can overcome any difficulties.

Diet

Diet for the nervous system

  • Efficacy: therapeutic effect after 2 months
  • Timing: constantly
  • Cost of food: 1700-1800 rubles per week

Nutrition should be as varied and healthy as possible. It is important not only to eat healthy food, but also to try to structure your diet so that the dishes are tasty and enjoyable.

The menu should include the following products and dishes:

  • Rose hip decoction, citrus fruits, sauerkraut.
  • Nuts, seeds, sea fish.
  • Lean meat.
  • Cereals, cereals.
  • Green vegetables.
  • Honey, dried fruits.

It is advisable to drink less coffee and strong tea, and keep alcohol to a minimum.

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