Man is a social being, but not everyone and not always want to talk to people. If you avoid public places, new acquaintances, and try to spend time alone as much as possible, then this article is for you. Here you will find out why don't you want to talk to people?, and what to do with it.
Causes
If you have no desire to communicate with people , then it’s worth understanding the reasons, let’s look at the most common ones.
- Constriction
There are many shy people who are simply embarrassed to communicate with people, especially strangers. They are not confident in themselves, so they are afraid that they will not like them, they are afraid of criticism and comments.
- Unpleasant interlocutors
If there are no people around you whose intelligence and life principles are close to yours, then it is not surprising that you have no desire to communicate with people. Few people enjoy communicating with a person with completely different views on life.
- Burnout
If you have to communicate a lot with people at work, sooner or later this leads to emotional burnout.
- Introversion
Introverts are people who gain energy not from communicating with other people, but from being alone. They feel comfortable alone and have no need for communication. They are interested in thinking, dreaming, and their own inner world comes first.
- Lack of social skills
Since childhood, we develop social skills when we begin to communicate with other people. But, if at an early age there were problems with socialization, then with a high probability they will continue into adulthood. And even if you are a confident and interesting person, you may simply not be able to carry on a conversation.
“I decided to never rely on anyone again”
After school I entered university to become a psychologist. There weren't many guys studying with me, so we immediately formed a group and stuck together. The four of us talked for several years, then we split into two duets. How and why this happened - I don’t know. It's just that two guys stopped communicating with the other two. After graduation, we also cut off contact with the remaining classmate due to too different views on life.
The final disappointment in friendship came when I had already graduated from the university and tried my hand at directing courses. There I had a very good friend (as it seemed to me then), with whom we had common interests.
My final work was a web series, which the jury liked. They even gave me money to rent it. But there was a catch: I knew how to work well with my head, but I couldn’t organize everything. I needed a person who would take on such moments. I suggested this to my friend and he agreed.
Then I began to notice that things weren’t moving, and I wrote to that guy: “Where have you gone? We agreed that you would help.” To which he replied: “Sorry, I can’t, I have my own project.” It turned out that he was offered another job and he dumped me. If I hadn’t written to him, he would have simply disappeared without explanation. Although I put not only expectations on our project, but also money.
Then I realized that this was already the hundredth case when a person disappeared from my life without explanation. And it doesn’t matter whether we have any obligations to each other or not. I thought that this was out of the question, and decided never to rely on anyone again. After this, life became much simpler and more interesting.
What to do
If you don’t understand why you don’t want to communicate with people and leave the house , then you should understand whether you have apathy and depression. If, in addition to the lack of desire to communicate, you have no desire to do anything at all, then it is worth taking action. This condition can lead to real depression and suicidal thoughts.
If you have never been a sociable person, and you are comfortable being alone, then you should not try to change yourself. You probably have close people with whom you sometimes communicate, and if you feel so comfortable, then you shouldn’t make a problem out of it.
Also, don't worry if you don't want to interact with certain people. This is absolutely normal, and if you are unpleasant or not interested in a person, then you have every right not to communicate with him. If you don't want to communicate with relatives , then you need to know how to behave . It is problematic to completely cut off communication with loved ones, but it is worth minimizing it.
If you avoid communication, but this interferes with your life, and you would like to communicate and meet people, then it is worth taking action. If you realize that it is difficult for you to communicate with people, and you are hampered by embarrassment or lack of social skills, then you need to work on yourself.
The most important thing is practice. You must not miss the opportunity to communicate with someone. It must be remembered that to develop any skill, practice is necessary. At first it will be difficult for you, you will experience anxiety and fear, but over time you will become more and more confident in yourself.
You also need to become an interesting conversationalist in order to feel calmer and more confident. You need to read books, watch films, expand your horizons. This will help you carry on any conversation.
Inveterate grievances
Have you met a confirmed bachelor? If yes, then you probably know that a man has tried to establish a long-term relationship with a woman at least once in his life. But the lady was able to hurt the guy’s soul so much that he decided not to tempt fate anymore and not burden himself with a new relationship. It’s difficult to call such an approach to your life normal. When a person realizes his fear and honestly says: “I’m afraid of a new relationship,” then he needs to see a psychotherapist or work through his grievances on his own. You can’t hold a grudge all your life against a person who, by chance, had to break up with you. Any person who no longer wants to make attempts to meet his true love must understand that not one person, but two are to blame for the breakup. You cannot place responsibility solely on the shoulders of your partner. Make peace with this thought and forgive the person all his mistakes. When you let go of the past, it will become easier for you to live in the present.
If they don't want to talk to you
If you are drawn to communicating with people, but they do not want to communicate with you, then the following tips will help you.
- Be a good listener. In dialogue, it is important not only to speak, but also to listen. If you reduce all your conversations to stories about yourself and don’t listen to your interlocutor, then you will alienate any person.
- Don't complain. Nobody likes a whiner. Look for positive topics to discuss. Forget about your problems and complaints about life, because no one needs negativity.
- Look for common themes. You should not talk about a topic that is not interesting to your interlocutor. But you shouldn’t even try to support a topic that is not interesting to you. To make communication enjoyable for everyone, it is necessary to find common ground.
- Don't criticize. You should not ridicule or criticize the opinions, desires or tastes of another person. Learn to respect other points of view.
Becoming a good conversationalist is not difficult, you just need regular practice.
If you don’t understand why you don’t want to communicate with people as you get older , then don’t worry. For most people, the need for communication decreases with age. At a young age, you often want to have a big company, to constantly be in the spotlight. With age, interests change, and there is a desire to narrow the circle of contacts to close people.
Communication is an integral part of our lives, and if you have problems in this area, then they need to be solved. If you are an introvert, then you shouldn’t break yourself. But, if you want to communicate with people, but are afraid or embarrassed, then you should work on yourself and turn to a specialist.
No one wants to communicate with me, what to do: advice from psychologists
First of all, you need to tidy up your appearance. When a person is collected and smart, neatly dressed, he is perceived better.
It is much easier for a self-confident person with a positive attitude towards life and people to make friends; many want to know his opinion and see him around.
It is necessary to ensure that during the conversation the dialogue does not turn into a monologue. This means that communication with other participants is lost.
An unhappy person who constantly complains about life's troubles cannot find friends. And not everyone wants to talk to someone like that. You need to change your mind. Talk to others in a positive, life-affirming manner, avoid sighs and sobs.
A friendly attitude towards others will certainly yield results.
And the once lonely person will become sociable, cheerful, and begin to share his ideas and energy with the people around him. He will forget that he used to complain to everyone, saying: “no one wants to communicate with me.” If you change yourself, the attitude of others will improve.
Excessive requirements
Are you facing a problem? Can't find your soulmate? Think about the reason why a good person is not near you. Most often, the phrase “I don’t love anyone” can be heard from a girl with high demands. The lady considers herself a queen and wants men to crawl at her feet. But in reality it turns out that self-sufficient guys do not need a person who, apart from a beautiful appearance, cannot give anything. Think about whether you have set the bar too high and whether those around you can overcome it. Sometimes you have to lower your standards to find the right person. Don't idealize others. Remember that all people have their own shortcomings and you will have to put up with them.
Fear of judgment
By saying the phrase “I don’t want to date anyone,” a person is cutting himself off from many opportunities. Who uses this type of escape from reality? People who are afraid of being judged by others. Have you found yourself in a situation where your parents or friends condemned your choice of a soulmate? If this happened more than once, then you may have developed a psychological fear of condemnation. You should understand that you were simply unlucky in love. But that doesn't mean you have to give up. Look for your soulmate and don’t be afraid to introduce her to your loved ones. The people around you will accept your choice anyway, even if they don’t really like it.
There's no right person
Does the thought occur to you: “I don’t love anyone”? What is the reason that you cannot find your soulmate? Many ladies, especially young ones, make the absence of a young man a big problem. They passionately want to find a young man, but in the end they remain lonely. What is the real problem? Sometimes fate leaves a person alone so that the person stops looking for a soul mate and finds himself. And it’s normal not to date anyone temporarily in order to become a whole person and not look for support and support in another person. Accept the idea that you don’t have the right person in your environment right now. If your heart doesn't accept anyone you know, take a break. You still have time to find your love. And if you rush, you can make a lot of mistakes that will be difficult for you to correct later.
Shyness
Have you repeatedly said publicly: “I don’t want to date anyone”? Think about the real reason for your reluctance. People often lie not only to others, but even to themselves. If you are a modest person with low self-esteem, it is easier for you to say that you do not need a soulmate than to get off the couch and go look for the right person. Remember that nothing comes easy to a person. To meet a good person, you will need to put in a lot of effort. But don’t worry, all your shyness will disappear if you just try. Once you meet interesting people, you will get a taste for it. Having learned to communicate normally with others, you will not have problems making new acquaintances or finding a soul mate.
