Happiness is what each of us strives for. We strive for happiness and try to avoid suffering. To become happier, people want to suffer less, but achieving this goal is not so easy. I spent 5 years studying psychology at a Higher Educational Institution and another 8 years of conscious life trying to find the answer to this question. I am afraid that I still cannot give a definitive answer to this question, but I could formulate the main things that I was able to understand thanks to the thoughts, words and actions of wise teachers.
You are probably reading this post because you are experiencing suffering. You want to free yourself from this feeling, you want to develop a more stable state of happiness.
Is it possible to achieve a state of happiness?
Yes! All in our hands. Wherever you are now, you can become happier if you make an effort!
I noted that these things are the most important reasons for increasing happiness:
Build strong and kind relationships
A Harvard University study that studied the lives of men for 75 years concluded that strong friendships had the greatest impact on their happiness. People who are in harmonious relationships with society have better health and generally assess their condition as more positive than people experiencing alienation.
Relationships are hard work. This is the work of a lifetime. There is no end to it, it is fraught with great difficulties, but it is important to maintain good relationships. In this way you serve people and yourself.
Make the most of your short breaks
You have short periods of free time throughout the day. We are used to spending this time checking social networks, watching YouTube videos and other useless things. Combine all similar applications on your smartphone into one category and call it “Waste of my life.”
Instead, place useful applications on the main page - for learning foreign languages, reading books, and so on. By taking small breaks to do good things and not mindlessly consuming information, you create a learning habit.
50 ideas for a break from work →
Think about others more often.
In a state of unhappiness, we constantly think about ourselves: “I feel bad, why has my life turned out so poorly? Why are all these failures happening to me?” This is the thinking of a sick mind. A healthy mind thinks like this: “Yes, I have problems now, but how many people are suffering more than me right now? There is so much suffering in life and this suffering passes from generation to generation. I have to do something to make the World a better place!”
Think about others, wish them well, take concrete actions to improve the lives of those around you. Take care of your loved ones, give them your attention, and you will notice how happier you have become!
Be patient with yourself
You don't have to take a huge leap and spend a lot of effort to become happy. Everyone is waiting for some sign or miracle. There's certainly something dramatic and exciting about this, but it doesn't happen often. We are all looking for the easy way out. But I didn't write my book in one day.
Before doing this, I went through a lot, there were a lot of tears. To achieve the "white line", you will have to fix the things that need to be fixed. And for this you need to be patient with yourself, the ability to forgive yourself and others, because change is a difficult matter.
Pay less attention to problems
Stumbling across suffering in life is as natural as sneezing from pepper in your nose. One time you sneeze harder, another time you might be lucky. Nevertheless, suffering exists. It is absolutely normal that we encounter unfavorable conditions or problems. Everyone lives like this. There is no other life. And it is important to understand that you should not give increased attention to suffering. I'm not talking about a disregard for everything around you. On the contrary, develop compassion, empathize with people, but remember that it is very unlikely that at some point suffering will disappear. It was and it is. You can relate to everything that happens more easily and then solutions to the most difficult issues will become more accessible to your mind.
Control your finances
Finances create a lot of stress and anxiety. But it is not money that causes stress, but chaos in financial affairs and a lack of understanding of how to manage them.
Learn to work with money so that you become the master of the situation.
Unless you plan to go into the deep taiga and hunt and gather for food, money is a part of your life for the rest of your days. Moreover, it is an important part of it.
So take the time to gain basic knowledge about taxes, investing, savings and loans. And once a week, two weeks or a month, analyze your finances and see where the money is going.
10 best apps for personal finance →
Cherish your moment
We live only a short moment. Look at your hand - do you see the bacteria and microorganisms that live on it? No – but they are there. Their life passes in a matter of moments. Do not be surprised. If someone big looks at you from Space, then you will look like an inconspicuous, invisible microorganism. This is exactly how short your life is for the Universe - just one moment. Appreciate this moment, love every second. Everything that doesn’t happen is all fine, because it only happens once. Fall in love with your life and live it with this feeling of undying love.
Make friends with your fears
I am afraid of many things in life, but I had to learn to thank my fear: “I understand, you protect me, you are my “bodyguard.” We don't appreciate that it is fear that keeps us alive for so long.
We are still alive because at a certain point our fear tells us: “Don’t get in that guy’s car,” “Don’t walk on dark streets,” “Don’t go in the water, you’re not a very good swimmer.”
We are indebted to our fears for the life we saved. Start telling your fear how much you appreciate it. You need to be friends with your fears.
Don't waste yourself on those who don't care about you
The world is full of people. Already more than seven billion. No matter what kind of person you are, someone will definitely like you. Therefore, do not waste yourself on those who do not care about you. If a person doesn’t need you, that’s his choice. As they say, you can’t force yourself to be nice. So why try to please everyone and prove to your ill-wishers that you are worthy of their love and acceptance? There are enough people in this world who will appreciate you for your qualities. Surround yourself with these kinds of people and you will save more energy for achievements!
So we looked at the basic rules of a happy life. If you start sticking to them today, your tomorrow will be much better. Get to know this world, explore yourself in it and remember, we do not live forever, so there is no need to waste the years allotted to us on something that does not bring pleasure. Live for yourself and enjoy every day!
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Don't try to change anyone but yourself
Even mature, experienced people fall into the trap of false hope. At the subconscious level, we succumb to the idea that we can change other people. This is a dangerous illusion that does not lead to anything good. Don't try to change anyone but yourself. All attempts to influence someone are completely futile, especially if this someone is not interested in change. A person can only be changed by life circumstances along with conscious work on oneself. Let people be who they are and focus on your own personality. It is stupid to try to achieve a goal that has nothing to do with you. This will only lead to disappointment and despondency. And the desire to change another person is precisely such a goal. The only person you can make better or worse is yourself. Work on yourself, become better, and over time you will learn to enjoy it and use the situation to your advantage. In addition, you will agree that it is much more productive to spend your own energy on yourself, and not on someone else. And with those people with whom you are uncomfortable communicating, it is easier to simply part ways.
Life is not endless
Unfortunately, we are not gods. And human life is not endless. We only have so many years on earth. On a historical scale, this is nothing more than zilch. Awareness of this fact usually occurs during adolescence. But we stubbornly pretend that we are going to live forever - but now we are just a draft of real life. But you shouldn’t live every day like it’s your last either. Give enough time to all aspects of your life: work, family, friends, but don’t forget about yourself. You have the right to rest, pleasure, idleness, gifts and small daily joys.
Keep living
It's a shame when something doesn't work out. But the worst thing is when we give up and we say: “I will never tell anyone about my dreams again,” “I will never love again,” “I will never do this again.” So what then do we have to do for the rest of our lives? Waiting to die and paying bills until that day comes?
If there can be happy moments in our life, we should not give up. We must continue to live. There is nothing more meaningful in life than simply being a curious and interested person.
Secrets of happiness. 17 eternal secrets of happy people
How to become a happy person - advice from a psychologist.
What to do to become a happy person? If you repeatedly ask yourself this question, then you need to use the simple advice of an expert psychologist described in this article.
How to become happy?
Secrets of happiness. 17 eternal secrets of happy people
Secrets of happiness. 17 eternal secrets of happy people
ATTITUDE/GOAL Happy families are all alike; Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Lev Tolstoy
There are many ways for people to be unhappy, but happy people have common characteristics. That's why a good way to be happy is to learn the common characteristics of happy people and apply them.
So I studied what the great minds of history have to say about being happy. I have read hundreds of quotes on how to be happy and learned the best lessons from them. These lessons are not only useful but also eternal in nature.
Here I would like to share with you what I have learned. Without further ado, here are 17 timeless secrets of happy people:
1. Forget the past
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. Rita Mae Brown
You will not be happy if you carry the burden of the past. Have you made mistakes? Have you had a terrible experience? No matter who they are, you have to let them go. You can't do anything about the past, so you better let them go and focus your energy on the present.
2. Take responsibility for your life
The secret of happiness is freedom, and the secret of freedom is courage. Thucydides
To be happy, you must have freedom, and the most important freedom is freedom of choice. No matter how bad a situation is, you can always choose how to respond to it. People may annoy you, but it is up to you to decide whether you will be offended or not.
But, as stated above, freedom requires courage. Freedom of choice requires courage and responsibility for your life. You shouldn't blame someone else when something goes wrong. Take responsibility and you have the power to choose.
3. Build relationships
The true happiness of life lies in the friendships we build along the way. unknown Relationships are where we can find true happiness in life. The reason is simple: only through relationships can we love and be loved. Make relationships your top priority and you'll be on your way to true happiness.
4. Develop diverse goals, interests and desires
The more goals, interests and desires a person has, the more opportunities he has to be happy. Charlotte-Catherine Achieving goals leads you to happiness. So you must not only develop your interests and desires, but also achieve your goals, even if they are not significant, and you will feel euphoria when you achieve it. This way, you will create new paths to happiness through achieving goals based on your interests and desires.
The key to developing new interests and desires is curiosity. If you're curious, there's an endless stream of exciting things waiting for you.
5. Create your image
Character is the basis of happiness, and happiness is the basis of character. George Santayana
Creating your image is essential to happiness. When you are true to yourself and others, you will be at peace.
The way to start building an image is to make promises and keep them. For example, you promise yourself that you will not smoke. When you maintain this, you build your image. Or you make a promise to others to be punctual. When you maintain this, you build your image.
6. Be who you are
The pinnacle of happiness is achieved when a person is ready to be who he is. Desiderius Erasmus
You can only be happy if you become who you are. Don't live other people's lives trying to live up to their expectations. People may expect you to have a certain job or a certain lifestyle, but they won't be interested in your inner world. Find who you are and be yourself.
7. Live your life purpose
The only true happiness comes when you do not waste yourself on the desires of others, but go purposefully towards your chosen goal. William Cooper
To have a fulfilling life, you must find your life purpose and follow it faithfully. Find what is important to you and have the persistence to pursue it.
8. Appreciate what you have
Happiness will never come to those who cannot appreciate what they already have. Unknown
Being happy is easy if we are grateful. Unfortunately, seeing what we don't have is often easier than seeing what we do have. Sometimes we need to experience loss before we can appreciate what we have. So don't take things for granted. Look at what you have and soon you will have many reasons to be happy. You can start with these simple things.
9. Have a positive mind
It is not a place or a state, but only a mind that can make anyone happy or unhappy. Roger L'Estrange
Happy people know how to control their minds. They do not allow negative thoughts. Although the situation may seem bad to others, happy people have a positive outlook. They always believe that no matter how bad a situation is, there is always something positive to come out of it. Your mind can make or break you, so take care of it.
10. Work creatively
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative endeavor. Franklin D. Roosevelt
When you work creatively on something, you will find happiness. There is a well known phenomenon regarding this flow. When you are in a state of flow, you are completely focused on the task at hand, which you quickly complete in a short time. This state of flow allows you to move forward without exhausting effort.
11. Start with what you have
A fool seeks happiness from a distance, a wise man grows it under his feet. James Oppenheim
Happy people don't need what others need to be happy. They don't need a certain job or a certain level of income. Instead, they learn to be happy with what they already have. They have learned the art of satisfaction. Be happy with what you have and you will be happy.
12. Develop
A person must constantly develop, only in this way will they live in happiness or wisdom. Confucius
To be happy, you need to constantly grow. In fact, the learning process itself is necessary for happiness.
13. Use your talents
True happiness involves making full use of your strengths and talents. Douglas Pagels
There are two lessons to be learned from this quote. Firstly, you must find your talents, and secondly, you must use them to the fullest. Working from your talents is a surefire way to enjoy your work because that's what you need to do. Making full use of your talents will make you even happier because you are doing your best.
14. Beware of small things
The happiness of most people we know is not destroyed by great catastrophes or fatal mistakes, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things. Ernest Dimnet
This is very true. Often it is not big things that destroy your happiness, but various little things. Perhaps you don't love someone or break some "little" promises. But even small leaks can sink your ship of happiness, so beware of them.
15. Get rid of your ambitions
Where ambition ends, happiness begins. author unknown
Wanting to achieve more in your life is good, but obsessing over it does not mean you will be happy. Do whatever you can to improve yourself, but don't be obsessed with it.
16. Make others happy
Happiness is a perfume that you cannot pour on others without applying a few drops to yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is my favorite secret to happiness. To be happy, you must first make others happy. The more you help other people and make them happy, the happier you will be. Happiness comes not through selfishness, but through selflessness. What goes around comes around.
17. Practice compassion
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama
Compassion is perhaps the highest level of selflessness we could have. As this quote aptly states, practicing compassion can make both others and you happy.
But of course this takes practice. Start by thinking about the people around you. Look at their needs and find ways to meet them. Even if you don't do it out of compassion at first, your compassion will grow over time.
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Secrets of happiness. 17 eternal secrets of happy people
Overall, this quote from Aristotle can sum up the lessons above:
Happiness depends on ourselves. You decide for yourself whether you are happy in life.
I choose to be happy. And what about you?
