How to become a happy person and always remain one - detailed instructions

1. 10 signs of a happy person
2. Basic postulates to become happy
3. 20 things you need to let go of to become a happy woman

Everyone dreams of being prosperous and lucky, but not everyone knows how to become happy. First you need to find out for yourself what happiness is and how to measure it. All happy people have something in common: they sleep well, earn a lot, don’t argue with anyone and always have a smile on their face. It's all so simple, you say. Everything is much more complicated, because certain things prevent a person from being happy.

And it is from obstacles that you need to start forging your happiness. Knowing his “worst enemies” will make it easier on the path to well-being and harmony with yourself. The main thing is not to deviate from the happy path, otherwise the goal will not be achieved. If you are ready to move step by step towards your intended goal, quickly read the article to the end, in which you will find clear instructions for action.

What is happiness

Modern psychology has begun to seriously address this pressing issue. Gradually, scattered studies turned into science. Now it is customary to discuss satisfaction, well-being, and joy based on scientific experiments and reliable facts.

This is an unsurpassed feeling that arises in a person who is overwhelmed with delight. He glows from within, thinks positively, and protects himself from negative emotions. The source can be completely different experiences - a boat ride on the river, the birth of a long-awaited baby. There is no universal definition. Each person is happy in his own way, depending on individual values, preferences, and interests. Mental and physical health are directly affected by lifestyle and behavioral characteristics.

You can only be completely happy for a limited time. After all, at any second the unexpected can happen, the state of euphoria will be replaced by negativity.

Happiness criteria

Disputes on this issue continue among psychologists. But it is quite possible to highlight the main ones.

1. Favourite buisness. If someone is doing something that brings them satisfaction, great. It’s doubly wonderful when work gives pleasure. It’s not for nothing that a highly paid hobby is considered the best activity.
2. You need to live here and now. You need to be able to feel the present moment. If you only plan for the future, there will be no opportunity to experience the delights of life.
3. The ability to enjoy life. It is much easier for an optimist to learn to be a happy person. He relates more simply to what is happening around him, realizes the value of existence, and enjoys it accordingly.
4. The ability to make choices. People often push themselves into limits; living in society, they understand that this is important. However, one should be freed from shackles in a timely and correct manner. To make your life easier, you need to make decisions quickly, without getting hung up on the little things.
5. Support and love. By far the most important criterion. Without the care and help of loved ones, it is impossible to gain confidence, determination, realize talents and many significant things that are required to feel the fullness of life.
6. Getting rid of envy. By envy, a person destroys himself. This is understood by those people who know how to be happy for others. To achieve happiness, you need to love those around you.
7. Determination. Anyone who does not have a goal does not know what to strive for, what to live for. Achieving our goals helps us develop and makes us better.

Read other people's stories

You can have an interesting and inspiring experience by reading other people's stories.

A small 2012 study found that even when we simply read about other people's experiences, we experience more satisfaction and less stress

than when we are simply shown something to make us feel happier.

A good place to start is with self-help books such as L. Ron Hubbard's The Way to Happiness, which research shows is one of the most widely translated books in the world.

The most translated book in North America on self-development on a world map - from the USA

I want to be happy: what’s stopping me?

There are many factors rooted in a person’s subconscious that prevent him from receiving satisfaction. The strongest of them.

1. Fear. Fear controls life, prevents you from rushing headlong into dubious activities, but also prevents you from doing successful things. There is a concept - sherophobia - a condition when people deliberately avoid doing things that cause positive emotions. The cause of this specific illness is the belief in the fleeting nature of happiness and the inevitability of the unfortunate events that it entails. Only by overcoming fears can you feel satisfied.
2. Negative attitude. Man is the master of his own thoughts. If the negative ones prevail over the positive ones, he will not achieve well-being. The statement “I can’t become successful” will inevitably lead to low self-esteem and uncertainty. Instead of the phrases “I can’t”, “I can’t handle it”, you need to repeat more often “I’ll try”, “an attempt is not torture”.
3. Echoes of the past. The main thing you need to do to be happy is to promptly let go of the bitter experiences of the past days. You should not constantly look back, revel in despair, grief due to mistakes made. It is worth leaving the past, so you can fully enjoy the present.
4. Other people's dreams. Many live by the expectations of friends, parents, acquaintances, which is absolutely wrong. In trying to fulfill the desires of others, people forget about their own. They cease to understand what they want, what they really need, and only those who are able to go their own way are happy.
5. Waiting for approval. Everyone wants to be loved, but some people try so hard to live up to the expectations of others that they endlessly try to please them. Unfortunately, it is impossible for everyone to like it, everyone has different ideals. It's better to focus on what makes you happy, not what makes others happy.
6. Comparison. It is human nature to compare ourselves to others, but this is a huge mistake. Someone will always be more successful, luckier, smarter. Everyone has their own merits, you don’t need to live someone else’s life, you need to concentrate on yourself and constantly develop. Anyone who can give up the habit of impressing will definitely achieve success.

Write 3 things you are grateful for.

© Getty Images

Being able to remember the things you've been blessed with in life is a great way to lift your spirits and feel better.

Psychologists from the University of California at Davis

The US asked
3 groups of volunteers to keep a weekly diary on the same topic
. One group wrote down major events during the week, a second group wrote down challenges they faced, and a third group wrote down things they were grateful for.

After 10 weeks, people in the third group reported greater life satisfaction and optimism

, as well as less physical discomfort compared to other groups.

14) Move.

Research shows that physical stress can reduce mental stress.

The Harvard Health Blog says that aerobic exercise is key for your head, as well as your heart:

“Regular aerobic exercise will bring noticeable changes to your body, your metabolism, your heart and your mood. It has the unique ability to excite and relax, provide stimulation and calm, resist depression and relieve stress. This is a common phenomenon among endurance athletes and has been confirmed in clinical trials in which exercise has been successfully used to treat anxiety disorders and clinical depression. If athletes and patients can benefit psychologically from exercise, so can you.”

According to Harvard Health, exercise works because it reduces levels of stress hormones in the body, such as adrenaline and cortisol.

It also stimulates the production of endorphins, which are natural pain relievers and mood lifters.

Exercise helps keep your body strong and your mind sharp. Train your brain and body by thinking thoughtfully about your life, where you are going and how you are going to get there.

Train your body to be ready for the amazing life you are about to live. There have been many studies that show that people who exercise regularly are happier.

You might not enjoy running a 4-minute mile, so don't do it. Find a place where you can take a leisurely walk and enjoy the company of yourself, your breath and the sound of your feet on the ground.

How to enjoy life

The best way to learn to enjoy life is to develop your creativity. Our whole life is creativity. Creativity gives us new knowledge, benefits, achievements, aesthetic and moral pleasure.

Creativity consists of inspiration and work, and only 1% is allocated to the first element. You can create in 3 directions:

• create spiritual and material values;
• create or discover something new;
• express yourself and develop yourself.

Creating yourself, transforming the world around you is also creativity. Creativity is something between work and rest. On the one hand, this is relaxation from the process itself, but on the other hand, it is targeted effort. Creativity makes us burn, rejoice, and open up. If you perceive your whole life as a continuous field for creativity, then the feeling of flight and joy will permeate it “from” to “to”.

The modern world allows everyone to express themselves. How? Of course, via the Internet. You can create a page on a social network, a group, a website and publish your own drawings, comics, articles, videos, poems there. Moreover, I am sure that every creator will find his audience.

But this is not even the only option. Associations with artists, singers, and poets are becoming a thing of the past. Today, the term "creativity" has a much broader meaning. But it is important to remember the 2 main risks of a creative person:

• Dependencies. It is no secret that many geniuses were accompanied by drug, alcohol or cigarette addiction. These substances provide that state of happiness that is impossible at the time of creative crisis. But our body cannot calmly accept these substitutes. Many famous people had to die early or end their careers because of this.
• Workaholism. Another extreme of receiving endorphins (hormones of happiness). With active mental activity, the body produces natural hormones, they are not harmful, unlike synthetic ones (alcohol, drugs, cigarettes), they are not dangerous due to “swings” and prolonged depression, but mental work for wear and tear devastates mitochondria - glucose storage facilities, cell batteries. When they are depleted and the level of endorphins is high, the blood begins to circulate faster, intracranial pressure increases, which can cause cardiac arrest. Unfortunately, death at the table during active mental activity is not a fiction. For example, such a fate befell I. M. Tronsky, a Russian philologist and an avid workaholic.

From everything mentioned above, the conclusion suggests itself: you cannot build happiness on one thing, you need to create your own multi-component formula. This is important in order to regularly maintain a state of joy, satisfaction, expectation, inspiration, but not to overstrain any system of the body. The golden mean and moderation are good in everything. You should not put happiness on one card; it is important to always have many options for insurance and safety.

12) Buy experiences, not things.

You might want to head to the local mall when life gets tough; After all, a little retail never hurt anyone.

But does this really make people happy?

Sure, you may get instant gratification, but you know as well as anyone that the happiness gained from buying things doesn't last.

Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, has been researching the impact of money on happiness for two decades. Gilovich says:

“One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation. We buy things to make ourselves happy, and we succeed. But not for long. New things excite us at first, but then we adapt to them.”

If you feel like spending money, spend money on experiences. Go see the world. Live your life on planes and trains and in a car on the road to nowhere.

According to Gilovich, “Our experiences are a bigger part of who we are than our material possessions. You may actually like your material. You may even think that part of your personality is connected to these things, but still they remain separate from you. On the contrary, your experience truly is a part of you. We are the sum of our experiences."

Get out and see what life is made of in other places. Spend time in beautiful parks, challenging hiking trails, and by the ocean as much as possible.

These are places where you will find your happiness, not a shopping mall.

Positivity attracts

The theory of positive thinking refers to the direction of psychology of success, motivation and general personal development. This is not about blind optimism, which, by the way, is life-threatening. Rather, positive thinking is a positive attitude towards reality. And it can be either joyful or not very happy. There are two types of positive thinking. You can be optimistic about what you think, or you can be positive about how you think. One is useful, the other is dangerous! And, unfortunately, the difference between them is barely noticeable.

Positive thinking. 10 rules

Tip 1: Many people mistakenly believe that getting enough sleep makes us feel better and gives us more energy, but this is not true. If you want to master the technique of positive thinking, try waking up early in the morning and, without getting out of bed, think about something pleasant. Imagine that the coming day will be full of unusual surprises and will be completely different from the previous one. If negative thoughts suddenly arise, try to get rid of them immediately, replacing them with good memories. To think positively, it is important to learn to control your thought process, and then your life will become much better. No matter how much you want to put on a mask of positivity, if you “scratch your soul,” self-destruct or self-deprecate, then the mask will forever remain a mask and sooner or later it will fall off. When a pipe leaks, you have many different tools at your disposal to fix it. This isn't about lying to yourself that the pipe isn't leaking or that you have a hammer and nails to fix it. A good question, given the abundance of negative factors surrounding a person. The poor political and economic situation in the country, low social standards, environmental degradation and much more do not contribute to optimism. In such conditions, a bad mood and negativism drive a person even more into depression. Positive thinking is the most important way to combat the imperfections of the world.

Positive thinking

Such a person does not accumulate negativity because he simply views every negative emotion as material for working on himself and improving the quality of life. With all due respect, the optimist's entire picture of the world remains bright and cheerful. I will watch my diet, eat less junk food, drink more water, exercise, take long walks. I will try to devote more time to rest. After all, it is difficult to be in a good mood and think positively if your energy reserves are running low and you are in a state of irritability.

Luck or the result of hard work?

There are many opinions about what happiness is, and just as many opinions about what gives it: fate or the person himself. In my opinion, the truth lies between these positions, however, provided that the gifts of fate are considered to be the favorable family into which a person was born and certain innate characteristics that increase endurance and the likelihood of success in life. However, this is also a controversial issue, because from birth no stigma is placed on us and it depends only on ourselves, our environment and the prevailing circumstances whether we use our innate inclinations or not.

In the end I would say this:

• In childhood, a person’s happiness depends on other people, which is why it can be called luck/bad luck.
• In adulthood, a person builds his own life and is responsible for its success/failure. But for some people this is more difficult because they have to get rid of the burden of the past.

Troubles happen to everyone in life, and there are indeed factors that we cannot influence. But people react differently to difficult situations - this is the secret of happiness and the role of one’s own work.

No matter how childhood develops, it is during this period that a person is happiest. But childhood happiness is not suitable for an adult. It is based on ignorance, lack of reflection, irresponsibility and spontaneity. If an adult lives by the same basics, he will be knocked out of the real world, and the happiness of not noticing the hardships of life is very conditional and doubtful.

16) Learn about yourself.

Happy people don't just appear; they are done. You need to become a happier person.

But it may take work. And the work you do doesn't always mean you recognize the things you like about yourself.

According to Niya Nikolova, a research fellow in psychology, knowing yourself is the first step in overcoming negative thinking patterns:

“Recognizing true emotions can help us intervene in the space between feelings and actions. Knowing your emotions is the first step to controlling them by breaking negative thought patterns. Understanding our own emotions and thinking patterns can also help us empathize with others more easily.”

Knowing yourself is a difficult journey, but the happiest people in the world do not live in oblivion.

They are genuine and genuine in themselves. The only way to be authentic is to face the music.

If you want to be more patient, you need to be patient. You don't just become patient.

If you want to be happier, you need to practice being happy.

Makes sense, right?

But first you need to know why you are unhappy.

It takes courage and courage to look at yourself in the mirror and understand why you are not allowing yourself to live a fulfilling life.

1.Habits that make us unhappy

how to become happy
Some people think that to be happy they need more financial opportunities. Someone will say that money can’t buy happiness, and you can create it with your own mood. But there are habits that can make us unhappy day after day. But they have become so firmly established in our lives that they seem commonplace...

We are not talking about such bad habits as overeating on sweets in front of the TV, swearing or drinking alcoholic beverages... No, not at all... Although they cannot bring the first happiness into your life. So,

3 habits that can make us unhappy

1. The habit of living in constant struggle

habits that interfere with happiness
People are so accustomed to living this way that they don’t even think about the possibility of behaving differently. Struggle at work, struggle in transport... Living in struggle is the same bad habit as gossiping or swearing. But its consequences are more harmful.

The struggle for an ideal figure, to be right in an argument so that your word is the last, the struggle on the road to see who gets to the traffic light first... Living in a constant struggle means not being able to relax... Living in eternal anxiety!

Habit of worrying

Even when everything is good in a person’s life and there are no reasons for concern, he will definitely find them. He will think: “Hmm, strange, everything is fine with me, it’s not without reason, that means..”

A person simply needs to experience strong emotions. He finds them in his anxiety. Watching the news on TV or reading it on the Internet, you can immediately find a lot of reasons for concern. Threats, plane crashes, terrorist attacks, economic or political conditions...

Worries and anxieties cannot protect you from the unwanted; they can only steal your well-being and strength in life.

Dale Carnegie “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

Dale Carnegie “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”
There is a book on this topic by the wonderful author Dale Carnegie. So here is a quote from Columbia University Dean Hawks:

“Half the anxiety in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have enough information to guide those decisions.”

And if you are very worried about something, do the following:

Ask yourself: “What's the worst thing that could happen if I can't solve my problem?

Next, mentally prepare yourself to accept the worst if necessary.

And then try to calmly come up with measures to improve the situation that you have mentally accepted as inevitable.

The author also advises the following:

“To drive anxiety out of your life, stay busy. Busy activity is one of the best medicines ever created for driving away the spirit of despondency.”

3. Worries about the past

how to become happy
People tend to constantly worry about past events. For some reason, suffering is considered the norm in our life. That’s why people like to share with their loved ones not pleasant stories, but their experiences, the 100th story of how a guy abandoned him, how his boss acted dishonestly, how a friend betrayed him...

Then what do we get? And the fact is that by replaying negative experiences and events, you involve new negative stories and experiences in your life.

More about this Reality Transurfing

The better your thoughts now, the better and more quality your life will be. Thus, our happiness is in our hands!

Envy

Social media makes people unhappy. We look at our former classmates, fellow students and acquaintances and turn green with envy, feeling like insignificance.

The next time you catch yourself feeling this way, think about this: “Would I like to be the person I envy?” Surely not, you love yourself (even if somewhere very deep inside).

You are looking at someone else's life that you don't know. You have no idea what this person is thinking. Maybe when he dives into the pool of his private home, he hates himself or is wildly afraid of something? Maybe you, walking through the forest on a sunny day, experience much more pleasure than he does, basking on the snow-white sand in the Maldives?

Stop looking at others. If you feel good now, then everything is right. If not, make it good.