Research groups of scientists from Harvard and the University of California believe that happiness is a virus that lives according to all the laws of an infectious disease. According to them, if a person is surrounded by friendly and smiling people, then this attitude is transmitted to him. In particular, a person's chance of being happy increases by 25% if his best friend is happy.
Article on the topic Learning to be happy: how to get pleasure from life “The more often we communicate with people who are satisfied with life, the higher our chances are, if not for happiness, then at least for a positive mood,” says Olga Karabanova, Doctor of Psychology, Deputy Dean for scientific work of the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University. Read more about the “contagiousness” of happiness >>
But physiologists believe that happiness depends on hormones - endorphin, serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin eliminates depression, improves mental abilities, is beneficial for internal organs, and improves the functioning of the gastrointestinal tract. But serotonin works closely with dopamine, the pleasure hormone, and GABA, which is responsible for the relaxation process.
The lack of even one of these substances affects the mood, depriving a person of a feeling of happiness. To prevent this from happening, you can make small adjustments to your diet by increasing the doses of certain foods:
- Serotonin - found in eggs, low-fat cheeses, poultry, and avocados.
- Dopamine – found in fruits and vegetables with vitamin C.
- GABA - found in eggs, dark green vegetables, seeds, nuts, potatoes and bananas.
But happiness is not only in tasty and healthy food, but also in a good mood, a positive outlook, the absence of stress, anxiety and worry, as well as psychological and physical health.
What is happiness? Try to solve the puzzle>>
What prevents us from being happy
I know for sure that it is impossible to experience a state of happiness if you do not have inner harmony and peace. There are things that prevent us from finding this harmony and feeling happy.
Resentment, fear and anger
Feeling resentful, like feeling angry, definitely does not make you happier. They destroy inner peace and make you feel unhappy or angry. There is no point in suppressing these emotions. You need to learn to deal with them. Remember that you are controlled by the person you are angry with. So both anger and resentment only harm you. But the people at whom your negative emotions are directed do not care at all. So is it worth giving in to destructive feelings at all?
When fear is too strong, it can suppress any of your actions. You will be afraid not only to commit an extreme act, but also any action in general. Even the one that will help you succeed. There is also an interesting phobia – sherophobia. It represents the fear of being happy. Yes Yes! It happens! A person is afraid to become happy. He believes that happiness is fleeting, and something bad will inevitably come after it.
Idealism
Many people have ideal images of their life, appearance, family, and future partner in their heads. But the problem is that these ideals cannot be achieved. Partly because all these illusions are imposed by the media and social networks. In pursuit of a pumped up and slender body, like one popular blogger, a person already forgets why he needs it and whether he really wants it. And dissatisfaction with your appearance and the constant desire to improve yourself prevents you from experiencing true happiness.
Often, in search of the ideal woman or man, a person remains lonely for the rest of his life. Well, or until he realizes that the ideal does not exist. And you yourself are imperfect. And that's absolutely normal. All that is needed for a happy relationship is mutual understanding, respect for each other, a spark of passion and a good sense of humor for both. And the shortcomings may turn out to be so insignificant that they are not worth your attention.
Envy
With the advent of social networks, there are more and more unhappy people. Many people follow popular personalities, their classmates, and classmates on Instagram. Among these acquaintances there are always those who are more successful, richer, better looking, and constantly travel. And a feeling of envy arises, corroding everything positive and good within us.
The next time you feel yourself starting to envy another person again, think about whether you are ready to give up everything in your life to become the one you envy? From parents, from boyfriend or girlfriend, from husband or wife, children, friends, from yourself. This method works well. I tested its effect on myself. I tried to mentally imagine myself in the place of another person without my family. I didn't like it at all. I love people close to me too much.
In addition, photographs on social networks are just a reflection of a small part of a person’s life. And they post exclusively joyful moments. It is not customary to flaunt your problems and failures. Most people want to appear successful and happy in the eyes of others.
It is better to focus on your own life, develop your strengths and stop obsessively monitoring how others live. No matter what impression you make on others, you will not be happier. So maybe we should stop worrying about this?
Past
It's hard to step into a happy future when you're carrying heavy baggage from the past. This baggage contains mistakes made, former loves, lost connections with friends. Until a person lets them go, he will not be able to breathe easily, fully enjoy the present moment and be happy.
Why suffer and be sad about what has already happened and cannot be returned? Past experience is given to us in order to learn from mistakes and not repeat them in the future. Draw conclusions - and move on with your life!
Procrastination
Are you familiar with the situation when, instead of doing an important task, for example, your direct job responsibilities, you do anything at work, but not this - hang out on the phone, drink tea, chat with colleagues? Most people are familiar with this condition. And to a certain level it is even considered normal.
However, if a person constantly puts off doing important things, then in the end he either gives up on them altogether or tries to do everything as quickly as possible, because deadlines are running out. And this greatly affects the quality. As a result, stress accumulates in a person, feelings of guilt develop, and productivity decreases.
The longer a person is in a state of procrastination, the more problems he has in life and even psychological illnesses may arise. So maybe you shouldn’t procrastinate and put off until later what you can do right now?
Negative thoughts
You've probably heard more than once that thoughts are material. We attract into our lives what we think about ourselves. Therefore, when a person once again tells himself that he has no money and he cannot become successful, then so it will be. These attitudes have already taken root in his subconscious, which means there is no point in even trying.
As soon as another negative thought appears in your head, immediately change it to a positive one. For example, tell yourself that you will definitely try to succeed. This will be another step on the path to happiness.
The pursuit of wealth
The desire to become rich in itself is not bad. But there is a danger that having achieved what he wants, a person will remain alone. There will be no family and friends nearby, and his whole life will be endless work.
Of course, it’s not easy to be happy without any money. It seems to me that this is completely impossible. Therefore, the main thing is to observe moderation in everything. You need to find a business that will bring you joy, a sense of self-realization, and then the money will appear.
Unjustified expectations
We may not live up to other people's expectations, just as they may not live up to ours. Why expect anything from another person at all? He doesn’t have to be cheerful, polite, honest and meet your invented requirements. If it suddenly matches, great, but if not, don’t be upset.
Learn to accept life and people as they are. And don’t try to please others. It is impossible to please absolutely everyone, and there is no need to. It's better to focus on what really makes you joyful.
How to become loved and desired by your man
At the initial stage of the relationship, you were a beloved and desired woman for your man, even if this is not the case now. Otherwise, you simply wouldn't be together. Try to remember what you were like “back then” - how did you behave, what did you look like, and so on? Even if it’s difficult for you to get closer to your old look or you think that nothing much has changed since then, pay attention to some recommendations.
Surprise your chosen one
Your partner will never be bored with you if there is room for romantic surprises in your relationship. Have candlelit dinners, go to interesting places together, and be imaginative when buying gifts.
Take care
It's hard to argue with the fact that any person would like to be taken care of. Surely, your chosen one is no exception! Show concern for your loved one more often - he will undoubtedly appreciate it.
Be attractive
Often, after a couple of months of relationship, some women begin to “let themselves go”, ceasing to pay attention to their own appearance. If you want to always be desired by your partner, do not forget about general grooming. It is not at all necessary to do complex makeup, extensions of nails and eyelashes and the like, but your hair, nails and skin should always be in order! Don’t forget about beautiful and neat clothes, seductive lingerie and a pleasant perfume. Undoubtedly, you can claim that your chosen one loves you any way, but don’t even doubt that he still likes you better in a well-groomed state.
What is needed for happiness
I have already talked about the things that prevent many people from becoming happy. It's time to talk about what a person needs to be happy.
Vocation
To become truly happy, you need to find your calling. It should correspond to your values, be to your liking and bring benefit or joy to other people. As soon as you find such a thing, consider that you have found the meaning of life.
To do this, you first need to learn to understand yourself, formulate a global life goal and strive to fulfill it. Anyone who knows why he came into this world and what he should leave behind is truly happy.
Happiness will definitely come when your actions and actions are fully consistent with your values and goals. However, they should not cause harm to others.
Relationship
It is impossible to live life without entering into a relationship. From birth we are surrounded by people. It is the warmth of mother’s hands and her gentle gaze that make the child calm and happy. Warm relationships with family and friends are the basis of happiness, the foundation of a good mood and a positive attitude. But how often do we forget about this in the daily bustle!
Love is a feeling that inspires a person. Next to your soulmate, you feel like the happiest person in the world. However, over time, feelings may cool and fade. And women who have been married for many years, after divorcing their husbands, ask the question: “How can I become happy? Again".
Some relationships end, but others may begin after them. The main thing is to become free from the past. If you're single now, it won't last forever. Of course, everything will not work out on its own, and you have to work hard to find friends or meet your soulmate.
Health
When something hurts us, getting rid of pain makes us happy. And if nothing hurts, then this should also make us happy. But we often don’t think about it, continuing to be negligent about our health. But when we begin to lose it and encounter illnesses, then we understand that, it turns out, we were happy.
Love for yourself and life
How do you imagine a happy person? Always smiling, thinking only positively and doing good? I hope not, because such an image is just another illusion.
A happy person accepts himself as a whole, with all the good and bad thoughts, negative and positive emotions, negative and positive qualities. He knows how to not only accept them, but also work through them.
He also treats other people and the world as a whole, having no illusions about them and not having unjustified expectations.
Choose your environment
It's no secret that we are greatly influenced by our surroundings. The quality of your life depends on who is next to you. People from your close circle can pull you both down and up (and without even realizing it themselves). Therefore, carefully choose your friends, colleagues, partners, loved ones.
Surround yourself with those who treat you well, help you grow and develop, and support you. Stop communicating with those people in whose presence you feel bad, nervous, or uncomfortable.
Simple rules for achieving happiness
So what exactly do you need to do to become happy? I offer you a few simple rules, following which every day, you will become cheerful, healthy and cheerful:
- Look for happiness in simple things . Forget at least for a while about your problems and look around. The world is beautiful! The gentle light of the sun, the rustling of leaves, snow-white clouds in the bright blue sky, the roaring laughter of children in the yard. Just the fact that you can see, hear, feel it makes you happy. Doesn't he? Blindfold your eyes with a tight bandage, through which you can’t see anything, and try to live in complete blindness for at least 20 minutes. After this exercise, many begin to appreciate the ability not only to see, but also to feel the simple beauty of this world. This approach is the basis of Buddhist philosophy.
- Find something you like . Easier said than done. You may have to go through more than one passion or hobby before you find an activity that lights you up, something you will do with pleasure. But such a thing will make your life successful, interesting, and rich.
- Change your attitude towards problems . It is impossible to be positive all the time. You have the right to be upset and upset. But this state should not consume you. Focus on the positive. Namely, remember that any difficulties are temporary. They are given to us in order to become stronger, grow and learn to overcome them.
- Set goals for yourself and achieve them . According to the observations of psychologists,
people who know how to set goals correctly and achieve them are happier than those who do not strive for anything at all. When you have a goal, you become motivated to move forward, despite the problems that arise. - Let go of what you can't change . Some people are so used to being in control of everything that as soon as something gets out of control, they become depressed. In each specific case, think about whether you can solve the problem. If yes, then act, otherwise, just let the situation go.
- Goodbye insults . Sometimes people hurt us. And the closer this person is, the stronger the resentment towards him. This feeling is a real mental trauma. The longer you get angry and cry, the more this wound will hurt. Learn to forgive. This will help relieve pain. You can forgive the offender in your heart. You don't have to meet him in person.
- Give thanks . Don't focus on what you don't have yet, what you're missing. Every day be grateful for what you have here and now. This will turn you towards the positive and teach you to appreciate every moment.
- Walk more . Walking in nature helps you relax, clear your thoughts, and saturate your body with oxygen. Sunlight improves your mood. Under the influence of ultraviolet radiation, vitamin D is produced, which helps fight fatigue and stress. By the way, when you become a parent, you start to walk a lot with your child. This qualitatively changes life for the better.
- Play sports, eat well and rest . This will help maintain health, without which it is very difficult to be happy. Physical exercise stimulates the production of endorphins (happiness hormones). Wholesome and healthy food improves skin condition, body function, and increases productivity. And proper sleep is the key to good health. I really hope that you are a non-smoker, because it is better to quit this habit. Any addiction prevents you from becoming fully happy.
- Get a pet . If you can take responsibility for caring for a pet, then in return your pet will become your best friend, a source of smiles and laughter. Cats, for example, help their owners relieve stress. As soon as you stroke a purring soft cat, all negative emotions evaporate.
- Help others . By doing good deeds, helping people and animals, you become a better person. Helping others generates warmth.
- Smile more . Scientists have noticed that when a person smiles sincerely, the brain begins to produce serotonin, a substance that elevates mood. After all, a smile is a symbol of happiness.
Try following these rules for at least three days to feel the emerging changes in your attitude towards the world and life.
Right now I recommend watching a very interesting video about the paradox of happiness. It will be useful for people of any age, but especially for teenagers, as they will be able to avoid many mistakes on the path to true happiness.
A selection of useful materials for those who want to become happy
So, I return to the review of materials from the Vikium website, which I mentioned at the beginning of the article. Below I will describe four courses that, in my opinion, anyone who lacks happiness in life should take.
Brain Detoxification
Description : The course is small, includes only ten lessons. It will help you get rid of all negative thoughts. Negativity can be associated with fear, anger, resentment, the feeling that you are a failure, etc. Usually, when such thoughts are spinning in your head, it is difficult for you to switch to something else and, of course, you still cannot become happy. it turns out.
When you complete the training, you will immediately notice how easy it is for you to concentrate on work, relationships, or everything that fills your life with joy. You will also see that you have begun to sleep much better at night, restless dreams and, especially, nightmares, have completely stopped bothering you.
The bulk of the material here consists of practical exercises. Theory is kept to a minimum. There are videos and audio recordings that you can listen to several times. They motivate well for success in all areas of life.
Author : Victor Shiryaev.
Cost : 1,490 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Brain fitness
Description : This course is aimed simultaneously at getting rid of all sorts of negativity that interferes with your happiness and well-being, and at developing the brain. You will learn to concentrate, develop attention, push away stress and any bad thoughts, and motivate yourself.
Brain fitness is expensive due to the special device that comes with the materials. It's called a neural interface. It was created by developers from Vikium; you will not find any analogues in RuNet.
The neural interface will analyze the functioning of your brain and compare the frequency of electromagnetic waves with your condition. You will be interested to see how the electromagnetic field changes when you are depressed, scared or, conversely, happy. All data is uploaded to the service website, and in response it provides a list of recommendations.
You can purchase the neural interface separately; it costs 11,990 rubles. The device works smoothly.
Authors : developers of the Vikium project.
Cost : 12,990 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Emotional intellect
Description : I recommend that you take this course because it helps you understand emotions. Sometimes you ask a person: “Are you happy?” He says: “No.” "Why?" - “I don’t know myself.” To prevent this from happening, you will need “Emotional Intelligence”.
After twenty lessons of the course, you will easily notice the emotions that are trying to unsettle you and upset your mental balance. You will notice that you have become much calmer, more confident, and that you pay more attention to yourself rather than to the negativity around you.
Author : Oleg Kalinichev.
Cost : 1,490 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Goal setting
Description : I recommend this course to anyone who feels unhappy. Perhaps the fact is that you simply do not have a goal to which you are going, or you cannot properly plan its achievement or allocate your time.
The course will teach you goal setting and help you not lose motivation midway. It is very small, only 6 lessons, but they are 90 percent practical. The materials remain with you forever, and you can return to them even after several years.
Authors : Vikium project specialists.
Cost : 1,490 rub.
Find out more and sign up for training
Save money
This is a useful habit that will help you save some money. But just collect not for a “rainy day”, but for a “bright future”. You can also save for a specific goal - for example, a new car or a trip. From each receipt of money, deposit a certain amount into a bank deposit or simply put it in a separate envelope.
The amounts may not be large, the main thing is to do it constantly. For example, try saving for a year, and at the end of the year you will be pleasantly surprised by the results.
