- October 9, 2018
- Psychology of Personality
- Ekaterina Nikolaeva
Every person wants to live their life 100%. But, unfortunately, there is no template life scenario. For some, wealth will be enough. Another will prioritize starting a family and having a child. A third person can go on a trip around the world. But how do you understand what you want from life?
You need to figure yourself out
First of all, you need to answer the question: “What kind of person am I?” That is, determine your type. After this question, others immediately appear. What do you need to understand from the very beginning?
A person must accept himself exactly as he is. There are no ideal people.
You need to stop lying to yourself. How many times do people say to themselves: “I’ll start a new life on Monday.” What's stopping you from starting it on Wednesday or Saturday? That's right, people lie to themselves to delay the time of their own changes. And the reason for this is ordinary laziness. To get everything from life, you at least need to admit this lie to yourself. Without doing this, you will not be able to achieve your goals.
The following psychological test will help you understand yourself. You need to draw the problem itself on a piece of paper. Give the pros and cons of this goal. If there are more positive aspects, feel free to go for it. But do not forget that any step on the path to perfection will require a lot of strength and perseverance.
You will need to say goodbye to your past. After all, this is how a person made mistakes and felt any failures. But it is important to understand that this all happened before. The past should help you avoid making mistakes, and not give up, remembering them.
Undoubtedly, everyone has their own desires and needs in life. But what does a woman want from life? And is the opinion of girls very different from guys? In fact, if you ask this question, you will most likely get a simple answer: “Happiness.” But if we talk about women, then they have such a concept as women's happiness. It includes three main points: love, family and well-being.
Stage 3. Assessment
It's difficult to understand the direction without understanding where you are standing. To understand where you stop, you need to evaluate 10 areas of life on a scale from 1 to 10 and enter the corresponding data into the table. The score depends on the level of satisfaction and reflects the state of affairs today. Don't think about the past. Don't guess the future. The mission of the exercise is simple and clear. It helps to identify shortcomings and balance all areas.
Rating fields:
- State. How satisfied are you with your body? How does the mind work? What changes in diet, sleep patterns, and morale have occurred?
- Family. What do you think about personal contacts with loved ones or acquaintances?
- Love. How satisfied are you with spiritual and physical intimacy?
- Finance. Do you have enough means of subsistence or not? Determine the type of relationship with finances.
- Job. How fulfilled are you professionally? Do you know how to find a balance between work and personal? How satisfied are you as a specialist?
- Spirit. What is your mind occupied with: spiritual practices or thoughts about routine activities? How satisfied are you with your attitude towards religion and ways of self-expression?
- Self-development. How many hours do you spend reading books, learning new things, attending trainings and doing practical exercises?
- Rest. How often do you go to concerts, go on trips, enjoy walks and find your leisure time interesting?
- Attitude to gadgets. How connected are you to your smartphone and PC? How long do you use the Internet daily?
- Situation. How satisfied are you with the country, living conditions, and work space?
The goal of the exercise is not to achieve the highest score on each indicator, but to establish a balance. Choose three areas that you will improve in the new year.
Target selection
A person cannot become better if he does not know his true desire. Setting a life goal is an important step, at least in order to understand what you should strive for. The goal you set will give you direction. How to understand what you want from life? After all, people live this life aimlessly. And many never become happy just because they don’t know what to strive for. You should think that life itself gives hints on what to do in a given situation. But if you don’t know the direction, a person will never understand these signs of fate.
Imagine your perfect day
You need to start small. Think through this day to the smallest detail. Starting from the moment you opened your eyes. What will you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You will drive your own car yourself, or you will have a personal driver. What kind of woman will you have and so on. This is what you will need to strive for until you are able to recreate this picture. To get into a more relaxed state, it is recommended to turn on music and find a comfortable position. Next, close your eyes and try to imagine each of your words.
Let go of your imagination
Now you should go back to real time. Take a piece of paper and answer these questions for yourself:
- What do I want in life?
- What do you want to get (a mansion, a premium car, etc.)?
- What gives you pleasure?
- Do you have envy towards people? If yes, then why exactly?
- What do people want from life? Compare the dreams of your friends or someone in your family. Perhaps your goals will be common.
There can be many more questions in this simple test. But it is the answers that will help answer the question of how to understand what you want from life.
The corrupting influence of the West
Few people realized that the alleged New Year's comedy "Sorcerers" is a satire about late Soviet respectability. About consumption when there is nothing to consume. About pendants with watches. About girls in white fur coats. About beautiful young people in white turtlenecks. They are ready to consume, but for this they need a magic wand, because - “plan according to the shaft” and “shaft according to the plan.” All items and services are available only to the owner of magical artifacts. Therefore, the main song here is not about the “witch river” and three white horses, but about a suit. The main thing is that he, that is, the suit, sits.
Professional sorcerers Bryl and Kovrov knew a lot about fashion, and therefore built an exact copy of John Travolta’s outfit in “Saturday Night Fever” (1977) for the main character, a film that was not shown in the USSR, but they wrote about it that it shows thoughtless pastime of the Italian guy Tony Manero - on weekends he is distracted from the disgusting everyday life at a disco. Like, a young emigrant should think about the oppressed situation. But no, he’s dancing! Chic. Wants to be the king of dances.
It is believed that after this film, a white suit combined with a black shirt became fashionable in the West. The end of the disco era! A non-trivial consonance of classical colors - black and white, but - how! There is an interesting photo with the writer Eduard Limonov in this outfit. I also happened to read that before Travolta, slightly rich African-Americans and, yes, Italian migrant workers did this. And then it fired.
In the parody and banter film “Airplane” (1980), which many in the USSR watched on video in 1985-1986, a dance in a black and white costume is played out. So Soviet viewers saw a parody without knowing the original source! But everyone recognized the three-piece suit. It turned out to be iconic and familiar. In the Soviet Union, where the option with a white suit and a black shirt entered a couple of years after the triumph of “Fever...”, this became perhaps the coolest attire for going to the registry office.
They didn’t walk down the street in this. Going to the theater was considered provocative. A little smart. Luxuriously. A white suit is a must. All this smacks of sybarism and bourgeois Dolce Vita. This is not possible for every day. Just get married. That is! Once in a lifetime, like the white bride's dress with ruffles and flounces. The magic of the moment. The sorcerers clearly emphasize: Ivan must appear at the ball in the guise of a ready-made foreign groom. Which is what he did. And everyone understood: now they will definitely get married! Of course, he looks like a foreigner from America.
Can't achieve my goal
A lot of people say, “I just want to enjoy life.” But to find your true desires, you need a main goal, as well as subgoals to achieve it. This is what will serve as an impetus on the path to enjoying life. What comes to mind is that you have chosen the wrong plan to achieve your goal in life. Maybe the wrong path to your cherished desire was chosen. Or maybe this is not a desired goal in life at all? Many people do not know how to listen to their own subconscious. This is how a person can find the answer to any question.
Stage 2. Analysis
With the report in hand, proceed to the main work. Take an open and objective look at successes and failures, reconciliations and quarrels, lessons and achievements. Be prepared to think seriously about each point. Take your time and don't lie.
Self-development
- Name your own top 3 achievement rating.
- What successes turned your head?
- What has changed personally over the past year?
- What good habits do you have now?
- List your new skills.
- What difficulties did you overcome? What were the difficulties? What resources did you have to use to solve problems?
- How many decisions do you consider to be the best and correct? What were they like, what did they teach?
- When and why did you have to take risks?
Failures and failures
- What mistakes did you make? Because of which? What did they teach?
- Talk about unrealized goals.
- How many bad habits have you developed?
- Name 2 or 3 worst decisions. What life lessons did you have to learn?
- What achievements have you been forced to forget? What will you do next year to receive it?
- What did you spend your moral and time resources on?
Personal contacts
- How many new people did you meet, when?
- Who influenced your worldview and condition the most?
- What personal and professional contacts are important? Explain what the value is.
Questions about life lessons
- What rules have you learned?
- Talk about turning points. What they were like, how they reflected, what they taught.
- What moment do you remember with a shudder?
- What are you filled with gratitude for?
- What five words are enough to describe the year?
What are consciousness and subconscious?
Consciousness is just the tip of the iceberg. Everything else that a person may not even think about or understand is the subconscious. With the help of consciousness, a person makes decisions, experiences the world and sets goals and desires. But it is influenced by any external factors. Let's imagine that the goal that a person sets for himself is really true. But subconsciously he is looking for ways to prevent this. This is the work of the subconscious.
But this does not mean that the subconscious mind interferes with you. Most likely, you have fear and uncertainty about this. And that is why it is looking for ways to achieve the true goal. That is, if deep down in your soul you are afraid of change, then the subconscious is looking for ways to get it. Thus, it indicates existing fear. But if you learn to correctly draw up an action plan and set the right goals, the subconscious will provide answers to all questions. Things will appear in life that a person had not noticed before, but they were very close. How to understand what you need in life? You need to learn to hear the subconscious, which is the key to any door. The subconscious makes up 90% of the psyche. It stores all knowledge and experience. After all, a person who once learns to swim will never forget how to do it. It is the subconscious that stores everything that happens in life.
And let the whole world wait. Where did the phrase “And let the whole world wait” come from?
“And let the whole world wait...” We are so accustomed to the flow of advertising on television that sometimes we don’t even notice the words and are only surprised if we hear familiar phrases outside of prime time.
Where did the phrase “And let the whole world wait...” come from?
For many, the 90s of the last century became a time of rampant crime, difficult living conditions, the first foreign TV series, Disney cartoons, and then some naive advertising of Stimorol chewing gum, Milky Way chocolates, Galina Blanca bouillon cubes, and the chemical “Invite.” Not all of them have survived to this day, but the French one, which appeared on the Russian market in 1992, feels great in our country today, and the words “And let the whole world wait” that quickly became familiar, which accompanied the advertising of this company’s Danissimo curds, soon became part of the everyday speech of Russians. They were used by scriptwriters, conversational actors, KVN participants and ordinary people, allowing themselves to relax and laugh at least a little at the rather difficult living conditions of that time.
In 2013, the slogan “And let the world wait” appeared in an advertisement for a product that may be less healthy than cottage cheese, but very beloved by many, as Corona beer.
Currently, other slogans are used in Danissimo advertising, but the memorable phrase continued to live outside of advertising. Over the past few years, the well-established expression “And let the whole world wait” has been actively used by Internet users also as memes that ridicule the inappropriate behavior of people who do not take into account the interests of others, for example, pedestrians who stop in the middle of the road and impede vehicular traffic.
In 2021, the spectacular phrase received its third breath - singer Sergei Lazarev used it in the Russian version of the song “Only one”, which he performed at Eurovision, although in a slightly modified form “And now let the whole world wait.”
Let's have happiness
A person who has a lot of desires has a lot of energy. It is our goals that serve as the best motivation for development and help us overcome all kinds of obstacles. But there are also people who do not use their opportunities and do not fully reveal their potential. And the unrealized potential begins to crush them with its energy. Therefore, you should listen to your desires. It is important to know that not every dream or goal is personal. There are also imposed goals. These are called public.
Often people want to get everything at once and avoid a series of mistakes. Every person makes mistakes and goes through it. Yes, it is human nature to make mistakes. But admitting a mistake will serve as good motivation to give your best, and in the future it will not happen again. After all, if you don’t make mistakes, you have to wait a long time for many things to be realized. Never be afraid to strive for your goal; a loser is the one who gives up without trying.
Very often a person is on the threshold of “I want” and “I can”. These are too different concepts. “I can” is what is available at the moment. And “I want” means future skills and opportunities. A person receives and learns this along the way to his cherished goal. Nothing makes a person stronger than understanding a clear route to your dream.
A goal differs from a fantasy in that a goal is a reality. And fantasy is just children's dreams. As a rule, a goal is a real path to a dream, with all the difficulties and steps. And fantasy will always remain her. Usually there is no action after it.
To get to your goal, you need to have a clear action plan and route. And the sooner a person manages to achieve this, the sooner he will find happiness.
We learn to relax. How to get everything from your vacation?
We work the whole year and only have a few weeks off. Every time it seems that there is catastrophically not enough time for vacation - another week... Unfortunately, very often we remember our vacation not with joy, but with longing: there was so much we wanted to do, see, experience, but it didn’t work out. Is it possible to learn to rest properly? How to make the most of this long-awaited vacation time? We asked professional psychologists about this.
Rybakova Olga Sergeevna
Private practicing psychologist, certified gestalt therapist, online consultant
A hot topic, since summer is already here) Learning to relax, in my opinion, is again some kind of work... Studying - in association with a school, university - is not a vacation at all) I would rephrase: What am I tired of? Having found the answer to this question, you will receive an answer on how to relax effectively. How to give rest to that part of yourself that is tired.
We tried the following exercise in a group: We had to come up with an ideal place to relax. Even from the realm of the financially unrealistic. They described it in detail, in every detail, recording all the important points. At the end, a picture of WHAT was needed from rest was obtained, therefore, knowledge was obtained of WHAT caused fatigue, tiredness, what was boring... An actual unsatisfied need was revealed. And then, everyone already understood how to find in reality that kind of rest that will nourish the hungry need that requires saturation) It was interesting that all the participants had different elements in the images of their ideal rest - water, earth, wind, forest, meadow... And the presence of people in all the pictures was different... It was surprising to discover that someone is resting alone, and someone desperately needs a noisy campaign) So, don’t learn to relax, but just understand WHAT is tired in you)))
Prokhorova Elena Vladimirovna
psychological counseling
I would say that in order to be able to relax, you need to learn two abilities: to enjoy everything that happens and to relax.
We are so accustomed to hurry, to run in pursuit of achievements, career growth and the desire to be the best, that we forget, and sometimes do not understand, that living at a fast pace and at the maximum can only be done for a while, and then it is important to take a break, so as not to burn out. And this means you need to stop, take a break, or at least slow down.
You can go to the most beautiful corner of the planet, but not be able to relax. In order to truly enjoy something, you need to turn off your mind and turn on your emotions and sensations. You just need to leave all your thoughts at home and decide to enjoy and relax.
This is the only way a person can absorb all its beauty from the world and be filled. This is the only way a person can recover after a long, intense rhythm.
How to get everything from your vacation?
Only by letting go of all fatigue and tension and filling with calm and relaxation will we restore some of our resources. Only part! It is impossible to recover in 2-4 weeks after a year of stress.
If you pour half of the contents out of a glass, then in order for it to become full again, you will have to pour as much as was lost. It’s the same with our energy.
Therefore, during your vacation you need to free yourself from tension as much as possible in order to be filled with something new, calm and pure.
The most powerful recovery occurs in nature and especially away from people. To recover, you first need more sleep, less food and a lot of contact with water and air. The body must be overloaded. To do this, it is advisable to cleanse it of toxins with vegetables and fruits and plenty of clean water.
And so that vacation does not become your last and only hope for relaxation, learn to relieve stress every day. Start going to the gym, swimming pool, do fasting days in food, start something new for you, for example, sign up for dancing or drawing classes. All this will help you approach your vacation not exhausted and overwhelmed, but with a wonderful desire to enjoy your free time.
Have a good rest and enjoy life!
Safyan Nadezhda Vladimirovna
Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Gestalt Therapist
In a situation of crisis in a person’s life, the load increases - a person in a state of uncertainty is forced once again to adapt to changes, which requires a lot of effort and resources from him. Fatigue accumulates.
And the first step is to be attentive to your own fatigue and understand its nature. If a person remains inattentive to his fatigue, he does not realize the need for well-organized rest.
Today we pay a lot of attention to operational efficiency, achieving maximum results in a short time, and we learn a lot about this. The topic of relaxation remains in the shadows. People don't think about how best to organize their vacation. Many people, when choosing a form of relaxation for themselves, do not ask themselves whether this vacation will allow them to replenish their strength? And then the phrase on Sunday evening is quite common: “It seems like the weekend has passed, but I still haven’t rested!”
How to properly organize your vacation?
First, you need to realize what causes fatigue, and fatigue comes in different forms!
Fatigue can be on a physical level , for example, due to inadequate sleep and nutrition. And here is a very simple solution: ensuring good sleep and nutrition during times of increased stress is most important.
Fatigue can be on an emotional level , more often such fatigue occurs in difficult relationships, failures, lack of time, accumulated “tails” (unresolved matters). Yoga, walks in the fresh air, “simple” joys, and meeting with friends allow you to relax emotionally.
Fatigue at the cognitive level , most often these are the consequences of excess information, in which we constantly find ourselves in the era of virtualization. It helps to unload the brain by creating isolation from information flows for a while, for example, going out of town to the country for the weekend, where there is no Internet and even the phone has poor reception.
Thus, it is important to choose a rest option for yourself, realizing exactly what kind of fatigue I am currently experiencing.
The limiting belief is that proper rest requires a lot of time. The resources of the human body are limitless, and sometimes 15 minutes of properly organized rest are sufficient for recovery if you notice your fatigue during the time.
Options for a “short” rest can be different: dynamic pauses, exercises, light physical activity - they allow you to relieve tension at the body level; a walk outside for 15 minutes will help stop cognitive processes and relieve the brain; drinking tea with friends and talking about abstract topics not related to work is an option for “emotional” relaxation. And everyone can easily organize such relaxation options in their life, it is important to only notice your fatigue in time, understand its nature in time and choose the best way to relax!
Afanasyeva Olga Mikhailovna
Practical psychologist. Additional education: NLP, Ericksonian hypnosis.
I think it's best to approach holidays the way you did when you were a child. The best vacation in childhood is “do what you want...”
A little humor. But at the same time, this is serious.
If this question is, in fact, emphasized, and there is a certain thirst - “How to get everything from your vacation????? How to take everything from life...????” If this is really a problem - “How to spend a vacation?”, Which is only a month or twenty days out of the whole year - then this is a serious reason to think, “What do I do every day?”, “Does it suit me, does it bring me happiness?” my professional activity, work, people who are with me, life in general?” Because if someone is lustily waiting for a vacation for a whole year, and when it finally approaches, they think - “How to take the maximum??? All??? How can I live, at least now, at least for this month?”, this is an indicator that a person is chronically lacking in something important and is not living life to the fullest. And isn’t it then worth spending your vacation, or at least part of it, simply allowing yourself to do what you like? And perhaps understand what you really want. Yes, as in childhood - “do what you want.”
There is such a wonderful opportunity as financial freedom. This is a separate and difficult topic. However, it is worth noting that if this goal is achieved—yes, most likely, with significant effort—then this allows us to get rid of such a concept as “vacation” altogether. And to part with this forever - with this very option, this necessity that “someone must let you go from work.” So, a vacation is also a great chance to improve financial literacy and, perhaps, focus on this range of tasks related to achieving financial freedom.
Ekaterina Malinovskaya
Practicing psychologist
How can you learn to relax? When does the concept of Rest appear in our heads? What do we mean by this concept?
Sleep, relaxation, switching to another activity, entertaining yourself, leaving the routine, on the contrary, immersing yourself in a routine, calming down, or, on the contrary, stimulating active activity?
In different states we seek different forms of relaxation. Do you need to teach yourself to rest? This again feels like a task for yourself. And completing a task often involves applying one’s efforts to complete it. Effort and rest, are they mounted? And here we are again planning, structuring, rationalizing and evaluating.
But what if you try to listen to yourself, try to feel yourself, your real desires at a given moment in time. To deeply understand what state of mind and body now could become the only necessary type of relaxation. And allow yourself to follow these desires! Everything is legal - after all, you are on vacation.
Is it possible to take everything from a vacation? What if “taking it all” doesn’t work? This may be where the disappointment of missed opportunities lies. Should we be upset when we plan to take a break? Probably not. So is it worth setting yourself an exorbitant bar again - to take everything? Only you know this.
Let your vacation be the best, best suited to your aspirations to relax the way you want, and not a race for fashion, trends, significant personalities and landmarks. Dive into yourself and enjoy - have a wonderful vacation!
Kudryashova Alla Albertovna
Open up, look more realistically at many things. What will you be able to feel and learn about yourself? About how your life relates to you. And why can’t you connect with positive forces and be happier? I work in a long-term format. Experience and practice 20 years
For me, relaxation sometimes becomes a time when both a psychoanalyst and a specialist with culinary perception come together.
And if this is also a trip, I bring not only impressions, photographs, but a variety of new and old favorite tastes. With them remain in the memory the stories where the subtle way of local traditions was born.
If you travel by car, these are unpopular places, sometimes with a slight tinge of sadness, but attractive with their dignity. Amazing with silence, harmony of culture and natural phenomena. It turns out to find them, admire them, far from the civilization of the metropolis, where sometimes the perception of the world and oneself in it changes.
Platonova Anastasia
practicing psychologist, successfully working with adults both individually and in groups
Choosing a type of recreation is not all the conditions for a quality experience. Nowadays, not everyone has the opportunity to rest for more than 14 days. But this time, objectively, may not be enough both for physical rest (a basic lack of sleep is a disease of our days), and for “clearing the brain” and being imbued with new positive emotions.
Therefore, an important condition for a quality vacation is not only its organization itself, but also the period before the vacation. If a week before you have to work late, finish projects in a hurry, get nervous and run around looking for a replacement, most likely you will only be able to really relax in the last 3-4 days.
Try to think through and start organizing your “departure” in advance. The goal is to make the last working week as relaxing as possible. Completion and transfer of tasks, getting ready, final organizational issues - planning will help you do it all without haste and nerves, but at the same time effectively.
Completing things will give you a feeling of peace. But this is not always possible given our rhythm of life. Take care of the quality transfer of tasks, clearly plan who will do what and in what time frame. Leave clear instructions so there is no need to disturb you.
Plan things that remain unfinished too. But for myself and for a while after returning from vacation. Throw a “temporary bridge” over your rest time. This will allow you to “calm your brain” and give you a feeling of control over the situation. As a result, you will be able to relax and not think about imperfections. You already know when and how they will be implemented.
Quality rest is part of a harmoniously organized life. Schedule; time allocated for passive and active rest; tracking and limiting working hours, etc. If you suddenly change your usual rhythm of life during a two-week vacation, you will only achieve additional stressful situations for your body.
Sleeping until two o'clock in the afternoon, staying up at night, which is not typical for you in ordinary life, will lead to even more physical fatigue. And our psyche, whatever one may say, also depends on our physical well-being. Try to bring the rhythm of life during your vacation closer to what you lead in normal life. A shift of a couple of hours will be both pleasant and not harmful.
And if unforeseen circumstances arise, in order to maintain the calm and positivity we need so much, the ability to highlight our circle of responsibilities will help. You clearly distinguish what depends on you and carry it out. At the same time, you leave other people's tasks to others. In this case, you do not waste your energy and nerves, but have the opportunity to think about how to organize your own pleasure. For example, the departure time of an airplane is delayed - there is nothing you can do about it. But instead of getting angry and worried, look around and ask yourself what could give you pleasant emotions right now.
Have a nice holiday!
Firstly, you need to take the initiative, not go with a guide along routes that have already set your teeth on edge! Take the initiative, dress simply and comfortably (you will have to walk a lot, clothes should be light, comfortable, and shoes without heels), take a camera or phone with a large memory to save all the best moments, this is your first time in this city, country, so go as they say: “following the call of the heart”, the most important thing is your plan, which means your impressions, memories, and photos will not be like everyone else’s, good luck! Thus, you have the opportunity to see all aspects of the culture, life, customs of a given city, country, area, and not what is offered to everyone always - the same routes, stops, faces, and so on. To feel all the shades of the taste of the people, so that later you can say: “All tourists are taken to famous places that they have already seen and reviewed, but I walked along another street and saw another Italy: different faces, emotions, colors...”, in a word, it all depends from you, your initiative, courage if you like!
Manukovskaya Ekaterina Vladimirovna
practicing psychologist, certified Gestalt therapist, leader of therapeutic groups, author of articles on psychology
Let me say a few words with an “inappropriate” approach for a practicing Gestalt therapist - with my experience on this topic.
I don’t like vacations in the classical sense – once or twice a year for a few weeks. I prefer many mini-vacations a year. My professional skills include “high sensitivity to the life field.” That is, as soon as I start to feel that I’m tired, I’ve taken on too much, it’s time to rest, etc., then I try to go somewhere where I can turn off my head - after all, this is what rest is in my understanding. A fresh head, unclouded by thoughts about duty, responsibilities, work, responsibility.
In my opinion, the purpose of vacation is not to step away from business or work. His task is to reboot. What are you rebooting? I am the brains. And you? If you change the position of your body in space, is that enough for you? If instead of some things you start buying others, are you relaxing?
Ask yourself: what do I need to do to feel rested? The fewer templates there are in spending a vacation, the better it is.
Regarding the timing. Only you decide how much time you need to rest. There are no ready-made solutions.
Conduct an experiment (if you haven’t done it before): allow yourself to completely turn off your head, turn off your mobile phones and computers, try to remove some of the habits that tie you to the daily routine and disconnect. No need to say that this is impossible. This argument crumbles to dust with one simple counterargument: if you die, you will definitely give up everything.
Now watch. A method as old as time, actively used today in Gestalt therapy, is observation. Watch how fatigue goes away, notice on what day you stop remembering about your mobile phone, when your shoulders straighten and your facial muscles begin to relax. On what day will desires that differ from everyday ones begin to appear?
I assure you: if you give yourself such an experiment and are attentive to yourself, your desires and needs, you will learn a lot about yourself and relax 200 percent. I promise.
Have a high-quality and bright summer, friends!
The period when you don't want anything
Many people are often faced with a reluctance to do anything. If this is not an advanced form, then people often cope with apathy on their own. However, if this is a longer period and the person becomes worse, then it is necessary to contact a medical professional. In any case, it is necessary to identify the causes of decline in morale and depressed psychological state. And also why the thought appeared: “I don’t want anything from life, what should I do?” Only a specialist can give a more accurate and correct answer.
The most common type of apathy is depression. There can be a lot of reasons for this. Starting from problems at work and ending with a quarrel between spouses. In this case, a change of environment will help. It is also recommended to spend more time with close friends. They contribute to a speedy recovery.
Ways to combat depression
If you turned to a medical professional to get out of this state, you will need to make an effort too. To feel the joys of life again, you should make the determination that you need to take everything from life, and not waste time on sadness and frustration. Treatment options will depend on the cause of your depression. It is often possible to get out of the state of apathy on your own, but it will take a lot of effort to do this. An excellent choice would be to change your environment and spend more time with your close circle of people. But if you cannot do without a psychiatrist, then the first sessions will be devoted to the manifestation of the initial stage and the establishment of the causes of occurrence.
As practice shows, people who most often fall into depression are those who have lost their job or a loved one. The patient is prescribed a course of treatment with tablets (sedatives). The main method of therapy will be conversations with a medical specialist. But don’t forget about your own settings. Setting a goal to get everything out of life will significantly shorten your recovery time.
conclusions
If you want to live in harmony with yourself and succeed in life, then you need to be selective. You need to focus on what is valuable and meaningful specifically to you. To do this, you need to set priorities and determine goals in life. All our passions, hobbies, thoughts and actions should line up in one line. They must be interconnected. Only under this condition can one realize oneself and assert oneself. If you spread yourself thin on everything, you will end up not succeeding in anything.
Focus on quality, not quantity. Delve into the essence of any matter, analyze everything down to the smallest detail, study in depth. Don't give in to manipulation, live consciously. To do this, you must understand yourself, listen to yourself. Don't waste your energy, time and money on what you don't really need. Think about how you go to the grocery store. You don’t buy everything, but choose what you like or is not harmful to your health. You will not take anything that will cause allergies or worsen stomach function. It should be the same in life.
Life at 100%
Set your priorities. A reasonable person, of course, will understand that he will not be able to take everything at once. If you are determined to get an answer to the question: “How to understand what you want from life?”, It’s worth thinking about what exactly is included in your personal concept of all this. For some it is material wealth, for others it is a rich spiritual life. There are many options, so make a rough list of what you want.
Create bounding boxes. Often in the race for pleasure, people lose control. If you blindly follow the rule that you need to try everything in life, there can be dire consequences. There is an opportunity to get new sensations in a parachute jump, as well as in the use of illegal drugs. Therefore, you should set your priorities correctly.
Expand your social circle. Dating can open up something new in the familiar. Interesting people can take you to different places and show you much more beautiful things. Such people will be useful in all areas of life: from professional to personal space.
Expand your horizons. Life is subject to whoever owns the information. It's never too late to learn new things. Study the history of different countries, the cultures of peoples, read books that develop personality. Without knowledge, life will become gray and monotonous. The more developed a person is, the more opportunities are open to him.
There is no need to focus on achieving one goal. This approach is a direct path to failure in other areas. You need to develop and achieve goals in different areas of life, without giving preference to one thing. People often do not know their true purpose in life. For example, a decision was made to visit a desert island, but preparation for this trip will take a long time. While this time passes, there is an opportunity to succeed and take many delights from life.
Don't deny yourself. Of course, this rule must be followed within reasonable limits. If a person’s budget allows him to decide to purchase the desired car, it is recommended to make such a purchase.
Health is the main component on the path to what you want
Remember that any jewelry and other material goods will not make you happy and will not help you achieve the desired result without good health. In pursuit of the delights of life, do not lose your mind, be responsible and attentive to your own safety. As a rule, an intelligent person will always find his place in life. And he will be able to live it with dignity. A well-set goal and clear instructions for achieving it will make a person happy. Don't let negative emotions take over your life. Everyone has one life, and it’s worth living in such a way that you don’t want anything. A person can do everything, but sometimes he simply lacks his own desire, drive or motivation.
Preparation
Spend at least half an hour throughout the week analyzing the situation. Don't expect to figure it out quickly. Create a comfortable environment, ignore the noise, turn off notifications in various mobile applications. Get some privacy, put on some headphones and turn on some classical music. Bring a notepad to take notes and jot down interesting ideas. Enter the state of flow using your own technique.
Basic rules of analysis:
- Don't be afraid to make personal digressions. Avoid answering awkward questions, skip steps, or speed through the analysis if you feel comfortable.
- Don't expect to find the meaning of life and resolve the difficulty. Analysis will allow you to understand where you stopped and where you should go.
- Don't lie to yourself. Analysis is an action that a person performs for his own sake. You shouldn't seem better by embellishing reality.
Allow yourself to be a selfish, honest and considerate person. The result of further actions depends on perseverance with the analysis.