What to do if your husband hits you: revelations from victims of domestic violence

Article for beating a wife by her husband and criminal liability for beatings

Domestic violence, along with street crimes, is considered one of the most common.
The most common cases of violence at home are between spouses. They exceed rates compared to violence between other family members. Physical violence emanating from a husband towards his wife is always humiliating, and the legislation has provided for various forms of punishment for such acts, depending on the circumstances of the incident.

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Unfortunately, in our country, many women are beaten by their husbands; statistics show that every third woman has ever experienced her husband’s aggression in the form of beatings. The woman is trying to take action after such incidents. Actions are mainly divided into:

• many wives tend to show patience and perceive the situation as commonplace;
• fewer women have the desire to re-educate and direct their husbands to the path of love and mutual understanding;
• leaving the family is, unfortunately, a forced measure for the majority of those who have been beaten; women come to this path on the verge of despair;
• punishment of the husband during the trial.

After a complete assault, a woman may be concerned about the question of how to properly punish her husband and how to recognize beatings in his actions? To do this, you need to understand what the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation says about this kind of crime. According to the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, beatings are characterized by the infliction of numerous blows.

REFERENCE! In addition, such actions include other violent methods that cause pain. Such actions are directed against people's health and lives, and therefore must be punished.

The legislation provides for punishment for any attack on a person’s life, but in each specific case it will be based on different legislative norms depending on the circumstances of the incident and the consequences. Some of the most common attacks on human health are:

• slight harm to health;
• beatings;
• torturous acts.

Have you already heard about decriminalization? This is when responsibility for beatings in the family will no longer be criminal, but will be administrative. Just like that. But it has its own characteristics.

What punishment or fine does an ex-husband face for beating and assaulting his wife? Is there criminal liability? The punishment for damage to health will depend on the severity of the damage to health, which is determined by a forensic medical examination, on the basis of which this or that article of the Criminal Code will be applied. Such cases are regulated by the following articles:

• 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - causing grievous harm to human health; punishment for such a crime can be restriction of freedom for up to eight years. Read more about the definition of grievous bodily harm and liability for causing it here.
• 112 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - intentional harm to health of moderate severity. This guilt must be proven through examination and psychological examination. This article provides for up to three years in prison.
• 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation - beatings. Depending on the severity of the crime and the nature of the injuries caused, the prison term will depend. The commission of such a crime usually requires up to three months of arrest. Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. BeatingsBeatings or other violent actions that caused physical pain, but did not entail the consequences specified in Article 115 of this Code, committed out of hooligan motives, as well as for reasons of political, ideological, racial, national or religious hatred or enmity, or for reasons of hatred or enmity in in relation to any social group, is punishable by compulsory labor for a term of up to three hundred sixty hours, or correctional labor for a term of up to one year, or restriction of freedom for a term of up to two years, or forced labor for a term of up to two years, or arrest for a term of up to six months, or imprisonment for up to two years.

For crimes of varying severity, the law provides for the following liability:

1. If the victim of violence suffered short-term harm to health, then the offender is punished with a fine of up to forty thousand rubles. Based on the circumstances of the incident, the court may impose correctional labor for 480 hours, for a period of one year, or arrest for four months (Article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
2. Beatings that did not cause significant harm to health, but still occurred, are punishable by a fine of forty thousand rubles, correctional labor for six months, or arrest for three months, according to Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
3. Battery that occurs on a systematic basis can be punished by imprisonment for up to three years (Article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
4. Beatings resulting in loss of vision, hearing and other vital functions of the body are punishable by restriction of freedom for up to five years.

ATTENTION! After conducting the investigation procedure, the investigator is obliged to send the case materials to the court; if we are talking about beatings without causing grievous harm to the woman, the case will be sent to the magistrate for consideration.

If the husband first raised his hand against his wife, but after the crime he apologized and tried to resolve the conflict, he will be allowed to avoid punishment.

If a repeated beating occurs, punishment cannot be avoided. Sometimes out-of-the-ordinary cases occur when a man raises his hand to his pregnant wife; if such an incident occurs, it is necessary to contact the police and undergo a forensic examination, which will subsequently reveal the extent of the injuries inflicted.

Subsequently, the case will be considered depending on the nature of the injuries and the severity of the crime.

In order to prove a crime against the wife’s health, she needs to seek medical help immediately after the incident. If the victim did not seek help in the first hours after the crime, and someone from the eyewitnesses called the police, you need to demand that the local police station call an ambulance.

After the incident, the woman will have to write a statement in writing. There she will need to outline the whole essence of the family drama.

The interrogator or investigator on duty will give the woman a referral to the institution where the forensic medical examination will be carried out.

While at the police station, it is important to make sure that the written statement was accepted and registered in the KUSP (book for recording crimes committed).

The next day after the incident, the victim of the beating will show characteristic bruises and redness in the area of ​​the blows. You need to not miss this period of time and see medical specialists on time.

For a wife beaten without witnesses, a forensic medical examination will be required.

ATTENTION! If a woman decides to undergo an examination and record the beatings six or seven days after the blows were struck, then there will be nothing to record, because the abrasions and wounds will almost disappear by this time.

Another option is for the victim of beating to contact the local therapist at his place of residence; by law, these workers must report the incident to the police. The district police officer, in turn, will create a report and record the call, and after a while he will come to the house where the incident occurred.

Every year more and more women in our country are beaten by their husbands. Previously, in the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, Article 116 for beating a wife provided for punishment for the husband, but due to amendments in 2021, this legal norm no longer includes domestic violence.

Such changes do not at all mean that there is no criminal liability for beating a wife; now the punishment will depend on the degree of physical damage caused.

READ MORE: Order No. 664 of the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Administrative Regulations for 2020 || 185 traffic police order 2020

In simple terms, now the article for beating a wife will be applied depending on the motives for causing bodily harm.

Before deciding which article for beating your wife will be applied, you must first become familiar with the very concept of beating.

In accordance with the provisions of the Criminal Code, beatings mean systematic beatings, which in the future did not lead to short-term loss of ability to work and serious health problems.

Pinching, squeezing of body parts, as well as torn out clumps of hair and other physical impacts that leave marks themselves also fall under the category of beatings.

Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation defines beating of a wife by a husband as an intentional act; accordingly, a person is aware of it and must be held accountable for it. The Criminal Code, as mentioned above, determines punishment depending on the severity of the damage caused. In total, the legislator defines three degrees of severity of beatings:

• Mild - the severity level implies minor injuries, such as bruises, bruises, abrasions, hematomas, that is, injuries that cannot cause serious harm to the body. Minor injuries are injuries that require no more than 21 days to heal and a disability rate that does not exceed 10%.
• Medium - the level of damage implies a loss of working capacity of 10 - 30%, while physical injuries do not pose a significant threat to human life, but it will take more than 21 days for the body to recover. These injuries include concussions, fractures, and knife cuts.
• Severe – a type of injury that poses a serious danger to human health and life. Such injuries imply long-term or complete loss of ability to work. The list of injuries includes injuries for which the body needs more than 120 days to recover. For example, spinal fractures, ruptures of large blood vessels, loss of sensitivity, rupture of internal organs, coma, as well as injuries due to which a person loses the ability to think, speak, or the ability to be generally understood by other members of society.

Requests for help Write your story

Good afternoon everyone. Today is Monday, and I decided to start a new life, first of all, to file for divorce. Tears stream from unfulfilled hopes, but there is no other way out. My husband doesn’t agree with the divorce, but if I don’t divorce him, it will be a death sentence for me. We've been together for three years, married for two, have a child, and I'm expecting a second one. My husband treats my pregnancy evenly, although the child is desired and planned. The reason for divorce is banal - assault and infidelity. Why I decided is the events of last Friday. He behaved somehow differently all day. He constantly seemed to fence himself off from me, then I realized what the point was - he was corresponding with someone, and I was simply disturbing him. Here he was delayed in the taxi, sending me home, then he hung out in the bathroom, and then I came in. He hides his phone, then he started running away, deleting something on the phone, he acted like a fifth grader, and what nonsense he was talking, it just hurt from the lies! And then the worst thing happened. He beat me. A pregnant woman, in front of a one-year-old child. He beat me, swore at me, said that I was a sick hysterical woman, that I was inventing betrayals myself, although he himself deleted all programs and social networks from the phone, and immediately set a password on the phone. In general, he beat and strangled, and left at three o’clock in the morning. We have an apartment nearby, so he packed up and left. The next morning words like sorry, I drank and you drove me crazy. And nothing else came, no forgiveness, nothing. He constantly goes to this apartment because of scandals, there is no trust at all. I decided to divorce, but my great soul, which always forgives everything, is crying now, but what to expect??? I understand with my mind that things can’t get any worse. And it couldn't get any worse. It’s better to go through a divorce once than to go through his departure every month, and now also his beatings. Once I forgave him for hitting me, but he apparently felt impunity! It’s very difficult to decide and go, please help me by telling me that this needs to be done!

Lady, age: 30 / 09/08/2014

Responses:

Do you want me to tell you what will happen next if you don’t leave him now and erase him from your life with your children forever? My story is an example of this. BM also beat me, who was pregnant with my second child, for a long time and brutally because I got into his phone and saw his calls to his mistress. She took the eldest and went to her mother. After 2 weeks they made up. I didn't have the courage to file for divorce. Bottom line: he left anyway when the second baby was one year old, when I was on maternity leave. Taking all the money and taking away all possible property. I wanted to kill myself, that’s how painful it was. Thanks to the site, I began to get out. 2.5 years have already passed since the beginning of my story. BM quickly married his mistress, naturally, by accident. I survived with two children as best I could. No problem, we did it. BM periodically takes my children “out for a walk.” The eldest (he is 5 years old) tells how dad and his new wife constantly swear with obscenities and assault. It still hurts, but not as much anymore. I follow all the advice from the site. And you know, the children and I are happy. I married a wonderful man, we have a calm, quiet life. We live for the sake of the family, for the sake of the children. My children finally see how a man should treat a woman. And you will be fine. We must endure, set ourselves the goal of surviving for the sake of our children, and living with God in our souls. And find the strength not to forgive treason, betrayal.

Sveta Candy, age: 34 / 09/08/2014

Hello Lady! Until recently, in the situation you described, I would have been indignant and said - nonsense! Horror! How can it be to beat a pregnant wife in front of a young child??? Moreover, being drunk and chatting on social networks with girls of easy virtue... And not at all because I am not outraged, but because, unfortunately, I am not surprised. For some reason, in the 21st century, such a seemingly egregious situation is gradually becoming the norm, and now it will not surprise anyone. Your husband feels his impunity and takes advantage of your helpless position, which is why he behaves this way. He is sure that with a small child, and even being pregnant, no one needs you and you won’t get away from him... He drove you into a dead end and simply left you no choice. You understand that if you don’t divorce him, then it will be even worse - one day he may kill you... It’s very sad that most stories like yours begin with great mutual love and that the negativity accumulated during family life leads to an ending from which children suffer the most. I can only wish you courage and preservation of human dignity on your difficult path.

Alice, age: 25 / 09/08/2014

Hello, dear Lady! I’ve been on this site for several months now, but somehow I haven’t dared to give advice. It's very difficult. It’s very scary to do harm with your amateurish opinion instead of helping. But your story really touched me, outraged me, and made me try to help you. I think that you need to act as your inner voice tells you, because only you, your internal state matters, only you yourself feel your situation from the inside. If you, despite the fact that you have a child and will soon have a second, decide to file for divorce, then this is the right decision. You will, of course, have difficulties ahead: both material and psychological. It is clear that it is not at all easy to be left alone with two children. But staying with this, so to speak, person is probably much worse! You will now live in constant fear that this nightmare may happen again. And it will definitely happen again. I know from my own (fortunately, very long-standing) experience and from the experience of my friends and acquaintances. You see, children grow up, life changes, no one knows what will happen ahead, and there is still a lot of unexpected happiness and gifts of fate ahead. And I also know this from my own experience. If you don’t decide now to go to the end, sooner or later you will have to. But what if this happens in 5 years or 10? When will children understand everything? Or when will you be completely broken by this “man” and will no longer have the strength to fight? Perhaps we need to decide now. The sooner you start getting rid of the old, the sooner the chance for something new will appear. You are a strong, determined, self-respecting person! Otherwise, you would continue to endure humiliation, betrayal, etc. Be who you are! You will succeed! And all of us who often visit this site and use its recommendations will DEFINITELY support you. You are not alone. Happiness and courage to you!

Natalia, age: 49 / 09/08/2014

Lady, I think your decision in this situation is the only correct one. You must think about yourself and your children first. Especially about your unborn child. Protect him and yourself from such stress, get a divorce. What does “this is a death sentence for you” mean? Not a sentence, but a path to a new normal life for you and your little ones. Can you imagine what was going on in the soul of a child who saw his mother being beaten and strangled?! After all, this is COMPLETELY unacceptable. Save the psyche of your children, you simply must do it. Soon another baby will be born, you will have no time at all to sit and suffer with rapture - children very quickly allow you to find a new meaning in life. Yes, that’s exactly it - he felt impunity, now he will also find excuses (for himself, first of all) for raising his hand against you. After THIS, life will not be the same, although you will desperately want to go back to the past. Believe me, I also forgave my husband after he first raised his hand to me. The reason was a dispute about the official currency of Mongolia!!! I got hit in the head then, and several times at that, and decided that - well, it won’t happen again! For me then it was a bolt from the blue, considering that even as a child I was never hit on the butt. And so, my intelligent husband was ready to beat me up for not knowing the currency of this country, and even arguing with him. But no, then this repeated itself at the most unexpected moments, first after six months, then it came to once a month. I can’t even describe what was happening to my psychological state! And I left my husband, whom EVERYONE considers EXEMPLARY. Because he simply didn’t bother to restrain himself anymore. WHAT FOR? And you know - my regret is not that I don’t know the currency of Mongolia) but that I didn’t leave then, 6 years ago. I blamed MYSELF - “I’m driving him home”, “I need to be more sensitive and shut up in time, don’t argue” - so, this is all nonsense. By hitting a woman, a man crosses a certain psychological line once and for all. Maybe there are some exceptions when a man will never forgive himself for this and will indeed never allow this to happen again, but, as we see from your letter, this is not your case. Leave and don’t even think about it, there is no place for happiness in a family where assault reigns.

Anna, age: 32 / 09/08/2014

Dear Lady, The more I read our stories, the more painful it is to live. You can forgive a lot, love is patient. Any actions can be justified, even betrayal can be accepted and justified for oneself, but if fists begin, then this is the limit. For your man, “beating is determined by consciousness.” Unfortunately, the girls are right, here our folk wisdom “beats means loves” is a bad help. If you raised your hand, then your forgiveness will only untie his hands, and there will always be a reason to scratch his fists. And you will always be to blame. Living in distrust is HELL, and when you are a punching bag and a buffer for negativity, it is pitch darkness squared. Go to the light, take the children away too, otherwise they will fall under the hot hand, alcohol not only blurs the boundaries of self-control, but also allows for permissiveness. I feel very sorry for you, but you must help yourself now, start by setting priorities for yourself, set small, feasible tasks, everything should work out for you. And drive away the monster who raised his hand against the woman who is carrying his child! Be strong, you really need strength! Vita.

Vita, age: 45 / 09/08/2014

Thank you all so much! I wrote out of despair, I didn’t even think that this was such support!!! But many here are right, often women blame themselves for everything, like she brought him on, only this time I can’t justify him, and even if I become a “sheep” and don’t bring him on, don’t argue and generally remain silent, I think you’re right , now there is always a reason, it never came the next day, or the day after, and even to this day. He arrived on Monday to take the child to kindergarten in the morning, I decided not to fight with him - let him communicate. On the same day, the child got sick, he called in the evening, saying what was going on, and asked, “Does your stomach hurt???” That is, he was interested in whether my stomach hurts???? Yes, my whole body aches, my stomach and everything in the world! Yes, my soul is torn into pieces from lies and betrayal! I answered that it hurts, he answered “badly”... as a result, I don’t really sleep at night, my son has a fever at night, I constantly pump him, and my dad, who believes that he is re-educating me in this way, lives separately. Today he called, I didn’t answer, but then I wrote to not let him know for now, I can’t and don’t want to see him. I don’t think he was very upset, because I myself gave him freedom! My dears, thank you again! I am quite well off, of course, I hope for his help, it will not be superfluous, we live in his apartment (I have my own), the main thing is to overcome it within myself. I am a beautiful young girl, no one gives me my age, but I am sure that I will not be lost! You have given me faith in the best! If I weren’t pregnant, I would go to work and then I wouldn’t even think about it, I would run to get a divorce! And so sit within four walls and constantly think, think... I don’t know what to do with myself, how to turn off my head, but I’m determined!

Lady, age: 30 / 09/09/2014

Sweet lady! Hold on! And how many people like us are there in the world? My situation is the same as yours. Have a baby. Only I was pregnant. I lost my second child. Now I'm back at work. You know what, I’ll tell you that our husbands are PERFECT AND THEY UNDERSTAND HOW WRONG THEY ARE TREATING US. He knows well that you wanted a normal family, a quiet life, and that you would love and adore your husband. You and I just stumbled upon such moral monsters. He asks if your stomach hurts yet!!!!? Stop contacting him. Like a predatory animal, he feels your fear, your pain, despair, confusion. And he revels in your condition. I’ll tell you even more, you and your family didn’t have anything with him. There was only your illusion that there was a family, everything was like everyone else. You wanted to love and be loved. But the wrong one was chosen for such an honorable role. I ask you! God gave you children. Love them and yourself. And then the card will fall. If there is a man worthy of you and your children nearby, thank God, but if he isn’t, then you have someone to live for and you yourself will never be left behind. Your children are always with you! Hugs!

Unnamed, age: 27 / 09/09/2014

Dear Lady, I can’t wrap my head around how you can treat a pregnant woman this way... You need to run away from him, otherwise, feeling his impunity, he will continue to beat you, and then the children. May God give you determination and strength!

Adele, age: 38 / 09/10/2014

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Removing beatings

In order to initiate a case, documentary evidence of the beating is required. A medical certificate can be obtained from the following institutions:

1. ITU Bureau (paid);
2. emergency room.

At the medical and social examination bureau, you will receive a document, which will then become one of your “trump cards” in court. It will be described what damage was caused to your health, what happened to you, the number and nature of injuries.

The degree of probability that you inflicted them on yourself will also be indicated (you never know, what if you want to imprison an innocent person).

If the procedure takes place in an emergency room, then you will not receive a document in your hands. The doctor will draw up a report, determine the extent of the damage you have suffered and the likelihood of self-harm, and then transfer it directly to the hands of law enforcement officers.

You won’t need to clarify anything, everything will be done for you. It is better not to try to fool doctors with tales about an accidental fall from the stairs - the picture will become clear to experts immediately, and they will not hide it from the police.

There is no official time frame for the removal of the beatings. But experts say it's best to do this within one to two days after the incident.

The certificate must bear the personal seal and signature of the doctor (with a transcript) and the seal of the institution itself.

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Nothing can justify aggression towards a pregnant woman. That is why such individuals cannot be pitied or forgiven. Beating a pregnant wife must be punished. In such a situation, a woman should protect herself and her unborn baby as soon as possible. What to do:

1. Hide from the aggressor. Often this is not as simple as it seems, especially since these types of individuals have a tendency to persecute. Therefore, it is necessary to enlist the help of friends and relatives.
2. Pass a medical examination. This should not be delayed, since it is the certificate of assault that is the most reliable evidence.
3. Apply to the court.

The further decision will be made by the judge, and the punishment is assigned depending on the severity and damage caused to the spouse and unborn child.

Punishment for people who commit violence against children

Have you already heard about

decriminalization

? This is when responsibility for beatings in the family will no longer be criminal, but will be administrative. Just like that. But it has its own characteristics.

If my husband beat me, what to do: step-by-step action plan

Domestic violence is classified into two types:

• psychological (moral humiliation and bullying). This category also includes economic violence as a more veiled method of suppressing and controlling a spouse;
• physical (causing bodily harm).

Unfortunately, the offender can only be punished for physical violence.

The former are committed to preserving the family in accordance with state policy, so social workers are more likely to help find ways of reconciliation with their spouse. Such organizations protect families and children. Protecting women from domestic tyranny is not a priority.

Private social services have moved further in this regard. Many women who have already experienced beatings from their spouses even work in such organizations. Emotional support from such employees is irreplaceable. In private social centers you can find not only help from psychologists, but also tips on what to do next.

Some even provide temporary shelter for frightened women with nowhere to go. If your wife is beaten by your husband, then first of all you need to call an ambulance.

When the spouse is able to get to the hospital on her own and does not want to advertise the details of the family drama to the neighbors, you still need to go to the hospital. The beating must be officially recorded within three days. The medical certificate lists all injuries received after the beating.

Here they also indicate the degree of probability that the victim self-inflicted injuries. This nuance is necessary for cases when a woman is trying to denigrate an innocent person. If the victim does not have this document in her hands, she will not be able to subsequently prove that the beating actually took place.

It is advisable to photograph bruises and abrasions yourself. Then you need to contact the police. The application is written in two copies. One remains in the hands of the victim, and she gives the second to a law enforcement representative.

The request will be checked, which can lead to three scenarios:

• criminal proceedings;
• refusal to initiate criminal proceedings;
• issuing a warning to the spouse and registering him.

In any case, you need to contact. Even if this does not have any serious consequences for the spouse, if you make a second complaint, the police will definitely pay attention to the previous statements.

In case of particularly serious injuries, a woman can go directly to court, bypassing the police. In order for the judge to rule in favor of the victim, she must present a certificate of medical examination and other evidence that it was her husband who inflicted the beating.

It is advisable that witnesses be called who can confirm the fact of bodily harm or characterize the accused. Although married couples try not to air dirty laundry in public, neighbors often notice little things that can later become a powerful argument on the scales of Themis in favor of one of the parties.

Stormy quarrels, drunken brawls, screams, crying of the victim, threats - this is the same “awl” that is difficult to hide in a bag.

Only a moral monster who has lost everything human can raise his hand against a pregnant woman. But, unfortunately, such cases also occur. If this happens, you should protect yourself and your unborn child as quickly as possible.

Urgently needed:

1. first, hide from your husband,
2. secondly, take care of obtaining a medical examination
3. bring the case to court as quickly as possible.

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The court will make a decision based on the harm caused to the woman’s health and whether the beatings affected the condition of the unborn baby.

What to do if your husband hits you: revelations from victims of domestic violence

From March 8 to 10, cities in Russia and Belarus will host the “Not Guilty” charity event in support of women who have survived domestic violence. As part of the campaign, various concerts and creative events will be held, all profits from which will be directed to funds to support women facing this situation. Two brave heroines shared their secret stories with the Moscow 24 portal and talked about the terrible years of life with their tyrant husband.

Angelina, suffered beatings for 3.5 years

Photo: courtesy of the heroine of the material

We met him on the Internet in 2012, but not on a dating site, but in a group on a social network where we discussed politics. In one of the heated arguments that broke out online, a guy stood up for me, then we switched to communicating in private. I was 23 years old at the time, and he was 31. We talked mainly about political topics, but then he invited me to meet. I came just to chat with a fellow believer, and he gave me flowers and said that he liked me.

After some time, we started dating, but since we lived in different cities, we saw each other only once a month, the rest of the time online. Outwardly, I didn’t really like him, but what was captivating was that he respected me, understood me, and didn’t demand anything sexually, knowing that I followed the principle of not sleeping until the wedding.

However, alarm bells were already ringing then. He himself is an aggressive, rude person, he could yell for no reason. For example, if his car wouldn’t start, and I said something at that moment, his aggression would flare up.

At the same time, he openly talked about how he beat his first wife and then another girl with whom he was in a relationship. But since he said that they were both out and about, I didn’t have any anxiety: I thought, well, I’m not like that!

There was no marriage proposal as such, we were just relaxing at sea, and he said that upon returning home we would submit documents to the registry office. In addition to the fact that I already wanted a family, children and to move to a larger city, where he just lived, another serious aspect was pressing: I owed him. My mother and I took out a loan from a bank and could not repay it. The collectors were pressing us hard, then he took it and paid the debt.

So, a year after we met, we got married. There was no love. I even remember that before I went to choose a wedding dress, I sat at the station and cried. And in the end I also found out that he drinks, although he promised that he would stop drinking in his family life.

The intensity of passions began from the first day of our life together, there were some insults, he constantly demanded that I stand up for him in conflicts on the Internet. Then he drank and made complaints: “You’re a mumbler, a loser, and you can’t say a word for me.” Constant beatings began after five months. He could beat you up for some little things: taking tea for a long time or cutting potatoes smaller than he liked. And if someone wrote “hello” to me on social networks, he would go crazy, he would become so jealous. Any conversation, even about music, could cause aggression; many scandals also arose against the backdrop of drinking.

Once, at one of the holidays, the national theme was brought up again, and he boiled. He took the cake from the table and threw it on the floor. Then he attacked me, I began to run away into another room, and he caught up and hit me in the face. Blood flowed from his lip.

Then such situations began to repeat more and more often, he could no longer stop. I tried to talk to him, to find out what the problem was? He replied that “while there were no beatings, I didn’t want to, but now I understand that when I break down, I can’t stop, it was the same with past women.” He understood that this was already a problem, but he refused my proposals to go to a psychologist or narcologist: “It wasn’t enough for me to sink to this level.”

He could mock me for hours on end. He humiliated me, sat on me, beat me, mostly on the head. Then the nose started bleeding.

After the next time I had a concussion and a contusion of the trigeminal nerve, bruises all over my body. I wanted to leave, but he tearfully apologized, said that he loved me and couldn’t live without me, called himself scum and a bastard. In the end, I forgave him and didn’t leave then. Within a year there were beatings and reconciliations, and a year later I became pregnant, became dependent on him, and he became completely uncontrollable.

I went to the doctor twice after severe beatings, but never betrayed my husband. She made up stories: she fell in the yard, unknown people robbed her on the street. I did not contact either the help centers or the police. Once again he beat me, and in the morning he said: “I wonder what it’s like to live and know that in the future you will be kicked out?” Then I realized that he was not going to change. The last straw was a showdown at another family holiday. This was already under his parents. His father then talked to him, explained the common truths, but to no avail.

As a result, I endured beatings for 3.5 years. Friends knew about this, advised him to leave and even suggested punishing him, but I was against it. A year after the birth of our daughter, we separated. Although he still won’t give a divorce, he believes that we are husband and wife. Sometimes, when he wants, he can drag me somewhere. While I was at work, I sent alimony, but he himself says that this is not alimony, we are a family. At the same time, he does not see his daughter, is not interested in how she is - he doesn’t care.

I already had low self-esteem, but now it’s even lower. My psyche can’t stand it, I lash out at everyone. After all, everything is on me: a rented apartment, a retired mother, a child, animals. Now I work as a supply manager, but at the same time I’m studying to become a teacher; when I finish, I’m going to get a job in the juvenile affairs department. You just have to hold out for three months, then the salary will be good, and you won’t have to humiliate yourself for helping to feed your family.

Olga, suffered beatings for 8 years

(name changed at the request of the heroine)

Photo: courtesy of the heroine of the material

We met 10 years ago through mutual friends when we came to visit them. At first everything was romantic, in fact love at first sight, and in principle I did not notice any warning signs. The relationship developed so quickly that we started dating, and after a month and a half I was already pregnant.

At first he seemed happy, but then it turned out that he was not ready to accept the problems that arose during pregnancy. I had toxicosis, I didn’t always feel well, and as a result I needed to go to the hospital for conservation. Then he began to act strangely and demand that I be the same as when we met.

He began to decide for himself whether I should go to the hospital or not, then he forbade me to communicate with friends because he did not like their advice. Even then, he tried to control everything, began reading my letters, listening to all telephone conversations, forbade me to set passwords and demanded that I tell him everything. Moreover, he believed that he was doing this out of good intentions and for the benefit of the family.

At that time, I was studying, and he, being four years older, was already working. During pregnancy, I had to take academic leave, but after the birth of the child, he did not let me return to study.

He locked the door and said: “That’s it, your institute is finished, now you don’t need to work, I will do it. And your job is to sit, cook borscht, look after the child and do everything I say.”

He also didn’t let me get a job; he once broke my phone so that I could no longer arrange interviews. Then he broke his laptop when he didn’t like one letter. Moreover, the letter was from a friend, where she simply remembered one of our mutual acquaintances. He took this as a personal insult, and generally forbade communication with male representatives.

Later he began calling my friends and girlfriends, telling them something, after which my communication with them stopped. Most likely, he seriously intimidated people, even to the point of threatening relatives and killing them. We also don’t communicate with our parents, because they were initially against our marriage. Thus, after two years I no longer communicated with anyone from the “outside world.” I just came to terms with it at some point and realized that if I didn’t make unnecessary calls and listen to him, then everything would be more or less okay.

But then he started fighting and beating me. At first it wasn’t strong: it was pushed somewhere, something else. But then he began to drink more often and 2.5 years after marriage, right on New Year’s Day, he started a fight. Moreover, his mother was with us, who also suffered. He was infuriated that my mother and I calmly asked him not to drink anymore. We tried to stop him, but it was useless.

After the second incident of beating, I contacted the police, but they refused to initiate a criminal case because there was not enough evidence that my husband did it. In theory, Articles 116 and 119 were covered there (Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Battery”, Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Threat of murder or causing grievous harm to health.” - Ed.). When the district police officer came, the husband said that nothing like that was happening in the family, that he “doesn’t hit and behaves normally, but maybe sometimes he punishes,” that’s what he calls it. And after a conversation with the local police officer, the situation in the family worsened even more; the husband became completely uncontrollable.

When he broke my nose, I went to the emergency room, but I was afraid to say that it was a beating, because if they had opened a criminal case there, I would have been in trouble. I was afraid that if this came out, he might just kill me.

He locked me at home until the bruises from the beatings healed. The main thing was that the neighbors would not see this. And he tried to hit him so that no marks were visible, mainly on the head. The worst thing is that there was a small child in the house who saw all this. He was also afraid of dad, he sat down, closed his ears and eyes, and tried not to look at it all. It was very difficult for me, but I couldn’t protect him from this. Then there were calls to the police again, but at some point I lost hope that they would help me. I tried to talk to him in a good way, but he just didn’t hear.

His aggression could come at any moment: he could beat me because I forgot to pepper the meat, or break the child’s tablet because he didn’t go brush his teeth when asked. In addition, he remembered some old grievances and beat me for that too. Scandals and fights occurred in waves: they arose and then subsided. But in the last year there have been practically no periods of calm.

I endured all this for eight years, but at some point the district psychologist I went to realized that the situation was not changing and advised me to contact the Crisis Center for Women and Children. She called herself and said that we could come there. Then the child and I packed our things, waited for him to leave, and went out.

Now, being in the center, I feel psychological relief, specialists are talking to me, and they are also working with the child, individually and in a group. Although my husband knows where we are. He already called and said that we were disgracing him, that everything was fine in our family, and we should go back. But it is clear that nothing will change. Before I left, I had already filed for divorce. Now the divorce process is underway, and I am deciding where we will live and where to get a job.

Looking back, I understand that I should have left earlier, when the control had already begun, not even the beatings. Women in such situations should definitely contact the police, but it is safer to do this from a crisis center. You shouldn’t take risks, because such people can really hurt, if not kill.

Where to go if you are a victim of domestic violence

Photo: depositphotos/ djedzura

In Moscow, under the Department of Social Protection of the Population, there is a “Crisis Center for Assistance to Women”, this is the only government institution in the capital whose main activity is assistance in such situations. The inpatient departments of the crisis center provide 70 beds for temporary accommodation for women (alone or with a child) who have suffered from psychophysical violence in the family. In addition to the government center, various non-profit organizations also provide assistance to women.

If the city hospital only accepts Muscovites, then women from anywhere in the country can call the “helpline” (8-499-977-20-10 or 8-488-492-46-89). Every day about 25 calls are received to the “helpline” and “hotline” (landline). Total from 2014 to 2021 The Center received more than 44 thousand face-to-face calls and almost 24 thousand calls to “helplines” for psychological help for women and children. Approximately 10–15% of women who call decide to contact the center and undergo rehabilitation. Residents of other cities are redirected to specialized government or non-profit organizations at their place of residence.

As Crisis Center specialists note, physical violence is usually preceded by long-term psychological violence in the form of constant insults, ridicule, criticism of any woman’s opinion, and so on. Therefore, first of all, a woman in such a situation needs to seek qualified help from a psychologist.

If you have been subjected to physical violence in the family (this also applies to those cases where no signs of beatings are visible on the body), you need to think through a plan for the safety of yourself and your children, and seek qualified help from the Crisis Center for Assistance to Women and Children.

If you receive bodily injuries (skin cuts, fractures, hematomas, etc.) as a result of physical violence in the family, you must contact the police, document the beatings and injuries, and also find shelter to isolate yourself from the offender. If a woman receives asylum in a hospital, she is immediately provided with psychological, medical, and social assistance. If she decides to take refuge with relatives, she can also turn to the Crisis Center for help. This applies to all victims, including witnesses to violence, most often children.

Loskutnikova Natalya

How to punish a husband who beat his wife?

The main questions that concern a woman who has been subjected to violence are how to punish her husband for assault, what responsibility exists for the harm caused to her?

Let's first consider what needs to be done to bring a tyrant husband to justice for beating the wife.

Important! You must document the injuries. This must be done no later than 3 days from the time the act was committed. Also make sure that the documentation compiled at the emergency room indicates all the blows caused.

1. take photographs of the beatings;
2. report the beating to your loved ones and friends, tell them what happened;
3. call an ambulance or go to the emergency room for a medical examination;
4. in the hospital, doctors will report the beatings to law enforcement agencies, and then you will be interviewed by a police officer;
5. If the police officer does not refer you for a medical examination, request a referral and contact an expert.

Important! Battery is the infliction of numerous blows or other violent actions that cause physical pain. All these acts directed against human health and his life are illegal and subject to liability under Chapter 16 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.

○ How can I legally punish my husband for beatings?

Punishment for beatings is provided for in Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, according to which the offender may be sentenced both in the form of a fine, compulsory and corrective labor, and in the form of actual imprisonment. The severity of the punishment will depend on the circumstances, including the presence of relapse, the severity of the harm caused, and the presence of signs of a qualified personnel. The decision on punishment is always made by the court.

In order to punish someone who raised his hand against his family, you must contact the police. It is very likely that any punishment will be a lesson to him.

I outlined the procedure in case of beatings above. In any case, you should definitely record the beatings, obtain an expert opinion or a certificate of beatings. The criminal can only be punished if the specified documents are in hand.

Be sure to keep in mind that if a child is the victim of beating, this fact will serve as grounds for deprivation of parental rights. A father deprived of such rights does not have the right to participate in raising a child, to meet with him, and he will not be able to continue to demand alimony for his maintenance in the event of poor old age or incapacity for work.

[ ]

How to prove it?

After the incident, the woman will have to write a statement in writing. There she will need to outline the whole essence of the family drama. The interrogator or investigator on duty will give the woman a referral to the institution where the forensic medical examination will be carried out. While at the police station, it is important to make sure that the written statement was accepted and registered in the KUSP (book for recording crimes committed).

After this, she must be given a notification coupon, which she will keep with her. Experts also recommend making a copy of the application for informational evidence in the future. The next day after the incident, the victim of the beating will show characteristic bruises and redness in the area of ​​the blows.

○ My husband hits me... What should I do?

As I have already said more than once (see the examination of beatings and the article on what is beating), not all actions that cause pain can be qualified as beatings.

The Criminal Code provides for several crimes related to causing harm to health - here are beatings, torture, sexual assault and others.

So, if your spouse allows himself to assault himself, thereby causing pain and suffering, the following course of action is possible:

1) Call the police - the arriving law enforcement officers will need to write a statement about the harm caused to you, describe all the circumstances of the beating, indicating all the ways of causing suffering, the objects that were used for the blows. The application will serve as the basis for a forensic medical examination to determine the severity of the harm caused.

2) If it is not possible to contact the police in a short time, then I recommend visiting a medical institution and recording the beating of your husband . A district clinic, a trauma hospital, or just the nearest emergency room will do. In any case, the doctor will provide you with first aid and issue you with the document necessary in the future - a certificate that will reflect all the damage, the nature of its infliction, etc. A certificate of beatings will guarantee that the beatings are recorded and will allow a forensic expert to give the conclusion necessary to initiate a criminal case.

3) After receiving a certificate of beating, I recommend contacting the police, if law enforcement officers were not called by you earlier, immediately after the incident. The procedure for further actions was announced by me above - writing a statement outlining all the circumstances of the beating. In this case, the basis for conducting a forensic medical examination will be the previously issued certificate of beatings.

It must be borne in mind that battery is a private crime . In other words, the police will not conduct examinations and checks without your application. Only contacting the police can lead to punishment for the perpetrator.

[ ]

How to find and attract witnesses?

As the proverb says: “You can’t hide an awl in a bag.” Therefore, all family squabbles become the subject of discussion among neighbors, relatives, and co-workers at work. Naturally, a humiliated and insulted woman evokes the sympathy of those around her.

If a woman has decided to protect herself from her bully husband, most likely she will not have a problem finding support among eyewitnesses of fights and scandals. Even if all this happens behind closed apartment doors.

Interview as many neighbors and acquaintances as possible who saw or heard the beating. Involve relatives and colleagues who are also aware of the situation.

The more people who are not afraid to testify against the brawler, the more chances a woman has to escape from the hands of the tyrant and punish him.

When a spouse beats you, witness testimony is important. It is usually not difficult to find eyewitnesses of a wife being beaten by her husband. The main category of witnesses are neighbors. They hear swearing, screaming, and sometimes even try to stand up for the humiliated woman, so their testimony is important to prove the man’s guilt.

Witnesses may also include colleagues and close relatives. The latter, as a rule, know about all the problems in the family, it is even possible that the beating took place before their eyes.

A minor citizen over 10 years old can act as a witness if his testimony is significant for investigators. However, it is possible to involve him in the case only with the permission of a child psychologist, since such processes negatively affect the child’s psyche.

Actions if aggression is directed towards a pregnant spouse

Depending on the severity of the injuries, the spouse may be held liable under the following articles:

• death threat (Article 119);
• torture (v. 117);
• beatings (Article 118);
• causing intentional light, medium or severe harm (Articles 111, 112, 115).

How exactly the man’s actions will be qualified will be decided by the court. For example, torture (systematic beatings) is punished more seriously than a single case of beating. Threats to kill and causing grievous bodily harm are among the most serious crimes on this list.

From a legal point of view, cases in which a husband beats his wife are classified as criminal. These actions are considered in the following articles of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation:

• 111, 112 and 115 – Infliction of grave, moderate and minor harm to health, respectively;
• 116 – Beatings;
• 117 – Torture.

Article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation specifies the unlawful actions of a husband against his wife, during which slight harm to her health was caused. For example, your health deteriorated for a while and minor bodily injuries occurred. Articles 111 and 112 specify unlawful actions of a person that resulted in grave or moderate harm to the health of another person.

The article on battery (116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation) covers any bodily injury, including bruises, scratches, abrasions, which were received as a result of several blows. Sometimes there are no external signs of beating, but the woman experiences pain when pressing on those parts of the body where the blows were applied. Such cases are also recorded by a doctor. Hair pulling, slapping, strangulation - all these actions of the husband are also considered under Article 116.

Article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation covers especially severe cases when beating by a husband occurs regularly at short intervals. The results of physical violence must be documented - medical certificates, doctors' opinions, written complaints against the husband.

READ IN DETAIL: What should a wife do if her husband beats her?

Which article the husband’s actions will fall under in a particular case depends on several factors:

• the gravity of the crime committed;
• systematic physical violence;
• availability of evidence;
• availability of testimony.

Show content

Reasons for aggression

The Code of Administrative Offenses defines insult as humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person. These actions manifest themselves in an indecent form and are committed with the aim of hurting pride and causing physical and moral suffering. This can be physical impact in the form of slaps, slaps, pushes, hair pulling, or verbal insults and swearing.

First of all, it is necessary to understand the reason for this behavior of the spouse. Most often, insults occur during family scandals and quarrels. Since both parties are most often to blame in a conflict, you should respond correctly to aggressive behavior depending on the situation. In practice, there are several reasons for insults:

1. Response to provocation. When a husband makes derogatory remarks towards his wife, she reacts with insult. Or the husband, in response to his wife’s temper and inappropriate behavior, allows himself physical force.
2. Revenge. When one spouse constantly reminds the other of his mistakes and failures, the other begins to insult in response.
3. Lack of culture of behavior in the family.
4. The desire to show your power. This motive is more typical for men who believe that they have the right to express their emotions towards their wife in any way.
5. Psychology of the victim. This behavior is most typical of women who are afraid to fight back the aggressor and believe that this will only worsen the situation.

Systematic insults and humiliation in the family usually lead to divorce. But before moving to extreme measures, you can try to influence the aggressor by legal means.

During the divorce process

The period of time allotted for divorce proceedings between spouses is one of the most difficult from a psychological point of view. A woman can experience her husband's anger on herself for any of the reasons: it could be failure at work or anger for filing for divorce.

IMPORTANT! Unfortunately, police officers have internal instructions not to interfere in family quarrels that occur during the divorce period.

But in this case, what can a wife do when she is fleeing from a husband who raises his hand? You need to leave him and not meet until the end of the joint divorce activities. There are circumstances in which an ex-husband and wife have to intersect in life. For example, if after a divorce the former spouses live in the same apartment and the husband’s fists are used, then the case will be considered to the fullest extent of the law.

Husband constantly insults and humiliates: advice from a psychologist

Illustrative photo: pexels.com Sometimes relationships between a man and a woman are marred by the fact that one of the partners allows himself to insult the other. This can happen during a quarrel, discontent, misunderstanding, or even for no apparent reason.

Having heard insults directed at oneself from a stranger, any person chooses between a biting remark in response and a simple cessation of communication.

A completely different situation arises when unpleasant expressions come from one of the spouses. A husband insults or a wife humiliates her husband is a fairly common problem in many married couples.

Psychologist Vladimir Reshetnikov tells more about why insults occur in relationships and how to fix it on his Instagram blog.

If you are in a relationship with a person whose value system and psychological state allows him to insult you, then you may not notice how such behavior becomes the norm.

• At first, he may speak negatively and humiliatingly about other people or former relationships: “Yes, she’s a fool.”
• Subsequently, he speaks disparagingly about some of your actions: “you’d have to be a fool not to notice this.”
• Then he insults you indirectly: “Well, you’re not stupid, or what?”
• And, at some point, he switches to direct insults: “What a fool you are!”

“All this for you, especially if you are prone to codependency, can happen very unnoticed. You resist, argue, but he stands his ground.

You give in, trying to find the reason for the events, his words and actions. Of course, you will find some reason in yourself and will try to correct yourself, expecting that he will stop hurting you.

But for him, with his value system, insults, direct or indirect, are already a way to control your self-esteem.

Low self-esteem inflates your feelings of guilt even for those situations in which you are clearly not to blame, but you still, in the absence of internal support, justify it.

And so, at some point, you ask the question: “maybe I’m really a fool?” “You are completely confused, not understanding who is right and who is wrong,” writes the expert ( hereinafter the author's spelling and punctuation have been preserved - editor's note)

Vladimir Reshetnikov emphasizes that if your partner allows himself to insult you, this means that the problems are not with you, but with him.

According to the specialist, insults are an extremely painful form of psychological violence, similar to physical or sexual violence.

“Insults are a brazen and treacherous violation of a person’s personal boundaries that cannot be justified under any circumstances,” he says.

If you are being abused by your partner, consider:

• What values ​​and attitudes do you have that lead you to tolerate abuse?
• How are boundaries built in your relationships?
• How well do you understand how you can and cannot be treated?
• Do you allow yourself to violate your partner's personal boundaries?
• Why are you still with him?

Original article: https://www.nur.kz/family/relationship/1936283-muzh-postoyanno-oskorblyaet-i-unizhaet-sovety-psihologa/

Trial

A woman has the right not to contact law enforcement agencies. You can immediately file an application with the court or the local prosecutor's office, everything will depend on the severity of the crime committed. So, the application has been filed, and the injured party must await the date of summons to court. The prosecutor, the injured party with or without his lawyer and, of course, the accused person - the husband, whose interests are also defended by a lawyer, lawyer or relative, take part in the court hearing.

The prosecutor will act on the side of the victim if she herself is not able to tell about what happened. In other cases, she is obliged to independently defend her point of view and rights, and her lawyer can help her (this norm is fixed in Article 318 of the Code of Criminal Procedure). The court will take into account self-defense on the part of the spouse, which should not be exceeded.

READ MORE: Returning goods within 14 days: methodology in 2020

Even if the husband commits actions that cause pain with some frequency, for example, while drinking alcohol, and the wife injures him one day, she can subsequently also answer according to the law, for example, go to prison or pay alimony to her husband to maintain her health.

IMPORTANT! The court, based on the circumstances of the case and not finding significant evidence of the guilt of the accused, may decide to refuse to consider the case if there is not enough evidence or witnesses in the case.

A decision on reimbursement of expenses can only be made by a court decision. If the legal costs have been documented, then the court takes this into account and may order joint payment by the defendant and the injured party. This norm is enshrined in Article 98 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation. The termination of the proceedings may be due to the reconciliation of the two parties or the issuance of a court decision.

By the way, if you decide to withdraw your application, we warn you right away that you cannot do this. But you can cancel it. We wrote more about this in

this material

.

Procedure for a wife beaten by her husband

If a woman is beaten by her husband, she will have to contact several government authorities:

• to the police;
• to a medical institution;
• to court.

It is necessary to understand that in our country, a showdown between spouses, during which she received a slap in the face, is not a reason for active action by law enforcement agencies. In order for them to act against a current or former spouse, it is necessary to provide evidence of beatings.

The procedure for dealing with a tyrant husband in case of domestic violence is as follows:

1. Immediately after the beating, go to the emergency room at your place of residence. Doctors will record the beatings and issue a corresponding certificate.
2. With the certificate received, go to the police and write a statement against your husband. It is written in duplicate, and the beaten woman is given a notification ticket.
3. If necessary, involve witnesses. Their testimony is a good evidence base.

After this, it is up to the police to act. First, they will check the veracity of the information provided in the application. Based on the inspection, either a criminal case will be initiated or the applicant will be rejected. If the criminal case is denied, the husband will be given a warning.

After an incident of domestic violence, the victim needs to gain strength, enlist the support of loved ones and initiate a procedure to confront the domestic tyrant. You can stop your husband’s lawlessness only by contacting law enforcement agencies.

The procedure will be as follows:

1. After a “family drama,” a battered woman goes to the emergency room,
2. undergoing examination,
3. receives a certificate of beatings,
4. then he goes to the police station and writes a statement in two copies - one of them, as well as the notification ticket, remains in the hands of the victim.

Statement to the police

The police will act next. How?

• They will conduct an inspection and make a decision to either initiate a criminal case,
• or refusal to initiate,
• in the latter case, the husband will be given an official warning and registered.

It is important to know that a woman should take this step, since all statements recorded at the police station will subsequently become evidence in court if it comes to that.

Go to court

A woman has the right, bypassing proceedings with the police, to file a complaint with the court or the prosecutor's office, depending on the severity of the incident.

The prosecutor will only act on the side of the victim if there is obvious helplessness. Otherwise, you will have to defend yourself yourself or with the help of a lawyer (Article 318 of the Code of Criminal Procedure).

Ways to curb a domestic abuser

Having realized her role as a victim of domestic violence, a woman needs to decide what measures will take control of the situation. An important fact is that domestic abusers are afraid of publicity and outside interference. It would be reasonable for a woman to follow simple rules:

1. If you need outside help - relatives, neighbors, law enforcement agencies - you need to ask for and accept it without hesitation. Testimony from outsiders will help prove the beating - embarrassment is also inappropriate here.
2. You should think through and prepare a place for temporary residence after leaving the rapist; these could be apartments of relatives and friends, city shelters.
3. You will need to pack a bag with essentials, medicines, important documents or their notarized copies and give them to a trusted person for safekeeping.
4. You will have to instill in yourself the habit of carrying the keys to your home or vehicle in your pockets, which will allow you to avoid becoming a hostage to the aggressor and return to your apartment if necessary. A good option is to make duplicates and give them to loved ones.
5. When the victim is finally ready to leave the rapist, all information about the possible location will need to be destroyed.
6. The telephone number of the crisis center for victims of violence should be remembered by heart, the same applies to the police station, hospital, capable of organizing the necessary assistance to women and children.

Having realized the seriousness of a woman’s intentions, a man is also capable of change, for which he will need to learn to redirect aggression to physical activity and overcome the desire to implement negative behavioral models. But it is necessary to understand that independent changes for the better are possible only when there are no addictions and mental pathologies.

Where to go if your husband beat you?

Something terrible happened. The husband, in anger or drunken stupor, not only raised his hand against his wife, but beat her, humiliated her, and almost killed her. Where to look for help, where to rush for support?

As soon as the fight begins, you should immediately escape from the clutches of your distraught husband, try to leave the apartment, knock on the neighbors’ doors, and ask them to call the police. Because the victim herself is unlikely to be able to call.

If a wife is going to stop domestic violence once and for all, she will have to go through certain levels of the judicial and legal system:

• police;
• a doctor to examine the beatings;
• advocate;
• court.

Why is this so? The fact is that if your husband slapped you in the face or gave you a couple of black eyes, then from the point of view of law enforcement officers, the showdown between husband and wife is a family matter. Except, of course, for the case when your spouse, say, shakes a chainsaw in front of you.

It may be cruel, but it is precisely on the principle of “if they kill you, then come” that law enforcement agencies often act. In other words, the prosecutor's office will intervene if it becomes clear that you are completely defenseless against your socially dangerous husband.

Until then, everything that happens is your family squabble, which means you can ask for help from the state as part of a private prosecution.

Why does my husband make me cry?

The news of an imminent addition to the family, if the child is planned, initially brings joy to both the wife and the husband. But as pregnancy progresses, changes occur not only in the woman’s body, but also in the man’s body.

There is a change of roles in the family: the wife turns into a whiny child, and the husband indulges all her whims, just so as not to irritate his beloved and the baby in her womb. But it can be difficult for a man to adapt in time, and he does not keep up with the changes occurring in a woman’s body. This leads to misunderstandings and conflicts.

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Even if a man is looking forward to an heir, it is difficult for him to realize that it will no longer be the same as before, and he will have to give up a lot in the name of the child. And if the wife is completely absorbed in thoughts about the future newborn, ceases to be interested in the affairs of her husband and even refuses him sex, then it won’t be long before he explodes, which is why the wife’s eyes will always be wet.

Even if the husband does not make a scandal and, gritting his teeth, endures all the women’s nagging, the wife still feels insincerity on his part and often cries.

The wife, fascinated by the process of bearing a child, has no idea that her husband may also be afraid of something, for example, losing his job and not being able to provide for her and the unborn baby. And the anxious spouse perceives this concern as indifference and cries again.

Sometimes the future father worries so much about his wife’s condition that he goes too far. He doesn’t let her see her mother because her father smokes there, and she doesn’t allow her to meet her friend because she has a dog, which means she has dangerous germs. You can’t go to the theater (it’s too cold) or to the cinema (too noisy) and there are many other prohibitions for fear of the health of the pregnant woman. And from such excessive care, the wife will also cry for a long time and inconsolably.

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Beats children - how to protect them?

You can never be silent. Remember, your silence makes the criminal even more cynical and cruel.

Beating a child is not just a misdemeanor, but a serious crime that cannot go unpunished.

The police should be called, and then the procedure will be similar to that when a woman relieves herself of the beating. You don’t even have to declare anything - doctors will do it, and they will help you obtain all the necessary certificates.

Violence against minors always falls under the category of public prosecution, so a statement from the victim is not necessary.

The punishment for beating children will also be more severe. A child beaten by her husband is grounds for depriving the father of parental rights.