How to avoid getting into the friend zone

If you have talked with girls at least once - and, of course, you have talked with girls many times - then you have probably heard them talk with sadness in their voices about how difficult it is in the modern world to find a man for a relationship. About how the man crushed, and how it was not easy for them, the girls.

About the fact that there are no more men in the world who do, and there are only idiots around who only talk, but are completely incapable of doing anything.

These moans from women have become so common - it's getting very strange. On the one hand, there are a huge number of men who want to find a woman for a relationship. On the other hand, there is a huge number of single women who are looking for a man with no less enthusiasm. At the same time, men and women live in the same society, communicate in work groups, clubs, at events, and, nevertheless, remain alone.

There are many, many reasons for this.

But today we will talk about a very important phenomenon - such as the friend zone. Or the famous “Let’s remain friends” - an expression that means only one thing for you: you lost this girl, like a man. There is nothing more between you. And sex between you is absolutely impossible.

The strangest and most incomprehensible thing for me: when a girl clearly makes it clear to a guy that they will never have anything, many guys put aside their masculinity and continue to communicate with the girl - but as completely asexual beings.

There are many known cases when a girl can spend the night with a guy friend, and they will have nothing. Nothing - in the sense of sex. Of course, the girl will tell him stories all night and pour out her heart. But - as a girlfriend.

I've even heard of very bad cases - when a girl and a guy slept naked in the same bed - but they didn't have sex. And this went on for quite a long time.

Nevertheless, guys continue to hope for sex with this girl. However, there is no hope.

So what are they doing wrong? Let's figure it out.

What is a friend zone

So, in order to avoid falling into the friend zone, you first need to understand what it is.

Friendzone is the status of a relationship between a guy and a girl. It means that these people are only friends and nothing more, although one of them is in love with the other. This is not real friendship, where people are friends only for the sake of communication and a pleasant pastime. In the friend zone, usually one takes advantage of the other's unfailing help and plays on his feelings.

Most often, a guy ends up in the friend zone. Girls love to be “friends” with guys in order to stroke their pride and raise their self-esteem. So they have at hand a “pocket” guy who is ready to fulfill any desire of his beloved girl. At the same time, he receives nothing in return for this help, but hopes to someday receive reciprocity in feelings. Many people think: “Now I’ll pick her up from the nightclub, and in the morning she will understand how much she needs me.”

This can go on for a very long time until the young man wakes up and says that it’s time to get out of the friend zone.

Why can't one of the friends understand the feelings of the other?3

To understand what scenario a friend zone can follow, consider a situation where a girl is unrequitedly in love with a guy.

A girl’s intentions are a “dark forest” for a guy. If the girl initially behaved like a sister or just a friend, then the guy most likely drew a certain line, separating this girl from potential girlfriends and crossing this line or simply reconsidering his attitude towards her - this simply does not occur to him.

Fear of being rejected. This is a very common reason for girls who are insecure. They are afraid that guys might take their feelings too lightly, so they are afraid to open up.
In addition, recognition can ruin an already established relationship; friends will no longer understand who they are to each other and may begin to avoid communication. The easiest thing is to just be nearby, without straining your loved one with your feelings, and hope that someday a switch will click in his head and he will fall in love.

Lack of sexual attractiveness. This happens when a guy does not feel sexual attraction to his friend, therefore, he automatically classifies her as one of his friends.
A girl can correct this situation by giving herself the image of a fatal beauty; fortunately, women have many means to increase their own attractiveness. Alternatively, you can try to seduce one of your loved one’s close friends, perhaps this will give him a reason to look at her with different eyes.

Why do guys end up in the friend zone so often?

Every person, regardless of gender, needs to know how to avoid being friend-zoned.

Guys usually don't like to be friends with girls, so the weaker sex rarely ends up in the friend zone, although there are cases.

However, whoever receives the status of “friend” does not always understand that the chance for mutual love and relationships has already been missed. Therefore, you need to take a timely look at your communication with the girl from the outside. Friends who see the true picture often help with this.

So if your friends say you're in the friend zone, most often you are.

We’ll tell you how to avoid getting into the friend zone right now.

Types of friend zones2

Certain. This is when a friend honestly admits that he has no feelings for the girl and cannot offer anything other than friendship. The position is tough, but honest.

Uncertain. When a friend keeps her lovestruck boyfriend in limbo and diligently marinates. She enjoys keeping a guy on a short leash and using him for her own purposes. This behavior is very selfish, as it does not allow the person in love to overcome addiction and build other relationships. The position is cunning and selfish.
Hidden. This can be called the friend zone, in which there is a person in love who is afraid to reveal his feelings with both his appearance and his gaze. Therefore, the object of his adoration is not even aware of the emotions that are raging within him. The position is deadlocked.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone - 20 tips for a guy

So, we have prepared 20 tips for a guy on how to avoid getting into the friend zone. In fact, they can all be summed up in one phrase, “Be a man,” but this concept is difficult to decipher correctly. Everyone's idea of a real man is different. In addition, in relationships with girls it is even more difficult to understand what kind of man they need.

However, most guys make the same mistakes. Therefore, it will be easy for you to understand the essence. Remember all the tips or write them down in a notebook so you don’t forget.

How to make your intentions clear right away

To avoid getting into the friend zone, you need to immediately let the girl know that you intend to become her partner. Even if you don’t manage to build a relationship in the future, then don’t become someone else for her: a friend, a brother, etc.

After meeting her, immediately ask her out on a date. You should not waste time on prolonged communication online or chatting with friends. Otherwise, she may get the impression that you are afraid to act. Indecisiveness is the biggest mistake guys make at the beginning of dating.
Treat her like a gentleman. Open the door and let us go forward. Don't forget to pay the bill. Even if a girl insists on paying in half, then you should not give in to her persuasion
Tell her more often that you are single and want to start a new relationship. The girl must understand that you are interested in her as a partner for a relationship. You can add small hints in your conversation, for example: “I really liked it in Turkey, I hope next time we will go there together” or “How do you think your friends will react to your new boyfriend in my face?”
Be assertive, but not too assertive. If you want to hug a girl, then do it on the first date. You can kiss her on the second or third date, but it’s better to expect an invitation for tea after the 4-5th date
If you see that a girl is trying to “drain” you: she responds dryly to messages and calls, never writes or calls first, and also refuses to meet, then stop disturbing her. It's better to forget about her and meet a new girl

So, in this chapter on how to avoid being friendzoned, we have explained how to show your true intentions to a girl. Remember that girls love decisive guys who take everything into their own hands and don’t let the girl come to her senses in the first days of dating.

How to make a girl fall in love with you

To avoid being friendzoned, a girl must fall in love with you. First, you need to calm your feelings yourself and accept any outcome. You may not succeed, and you should prepare for this possibility in advance. This will make it easier for you to make a girl fall in love with you.

Listen to her carefully, but stop periodically. This is especially true for the topic of ex-boyfriends, family problems and personal stories from parties. If a girl reveals herself too much to you, she will not be able to perceive you as a sexual partner in the future. Roughly speaking, you will become a “girlfriend” who can be trusted with the most frank details
The topic of ex-girlfriends on your part is also prohibited. In addition, you should share less of your experiences and problems. When a girl begins to feel sorry for a guy, she stops feeling protected by him. After some time in the relationship, she may give you support, but causing pity at first is a big mistake.
Dress stylishly and tastefully. Girls first of all look at a guy's appearance. A young man can attract the looks of girls, even if he does not have an athletic physique or tall stature. To do this, you just need to visit a barber, choose a suitable hairstyle, and also wear beautiful things that emphasize masculinity and high self-esteem. By the way, you can also look at tips on how a guy can dress stylishly

If you were not familiar with sports, then you still need to sign up for a sports section. You need to show the girl that you can stand up for her and will protect her. It’s enough to just start going to a boxing class or to the gym for her to trust you
Be interesting. Tell her about your life, your stories, share your knowledge. For a girl to love you, you must have a conversation with her, and not just listen to her. After all, sooner or later, she will stop talking, and then she will get bored with you

So, we have listed the easiest ways to make a girl fall in love with you. In fact, with experience, you will realize that girls easily fall in love with guys who are confident in themselves. These are also called alphas, because they are considered the first everywhere. These guys know how to stay out of the friend zone.

How to become an alpha for most girls

If you want the girl you like to be crazy about you, then you need to become an alpha. For many, this is very difficult, but no one demands that you become like this forever. All you need to show is your confidence, leadership skills and self-respect. The following options are suitable for this:

Stay busy more often. This means that you must always be on the job. The girl is bored and wants to chat on Monday afternoon? Do not respond to her manipulations under any circumstances. Answer that you are busy at work/study. Then she will understand that you may not be available to her.
If a girl starts to be capricious or whine too often, at one point disconnect from the conversation with the words “I don’t have time to listen to your whims now. As I said, so it will be.” Yes, she will be offended. Yes, she will not call or write to you for a couple of hours or days, but if you are sure that you are right, do not be the first to reconcile. If you give in once, then next time she won’t even listen to your arguments.
If you have girls on social networks or in life with whom you are friends or just communicate as acquaintances, then this is your personal right. You shouldn’t follow your new girlfriend’s lead and stop communicating with people at her request. If she reasons her demand with jealousy, it means she doesn't trust you. Without trust there can be no normal relationship. This should be your last argument in the argument.
The same goes for your friends. A girl can't decide which people you associate with. If she allows herself to criticize your friends, then she no longer respects you. A girl should accept a young man's friends as they are
Try to resolve a conflict or argument with a girl quickly. Alpha is not trying to prove anything to anyone. He is either accepted entirely, or he refuses to continue communication.

So now you know what to do to avoid getting friendzoned. First show the girl your intentions, then make her fall in love with you, and also be self-confident and respect yourself first.

What not to do

Separately, we will summarize the list of things on how to avoid getting into the friend zone. Before this, we talked about what needs to be done, and now we’ll list what definitely shouldn’t be done.

Being always available is one of the main rules
Getting to know her too quickly is not necessary for you or for her.
Getting to know her friends and relatives too quickly - see point 2
Trying to prove something to her - your feelings, your devotion, loyalty, worth, etc. Remember that you are an alpha and don't owe anyone anything. In the future, you will be able to show her your loyalty and devotion, support and love, but not in the first 3-5 months of communication or relationship
Do not immediately resort to her help unless it is urgent. If she does not need medical help, rescue from a burning house, protection from hooligans, etc., then you should not run to her headlong. She can call herself a taxi, buy something, chat with her friends and cope with any minor problems

So these are the key points you need to remember. If you don't do this, you most likely won't end up in the friend zone.

Disappear for a while

You have created a comfort zone for the object of your adoration: humor, self-irony, free gifts, surprises and unconditional help. Limit your presence in his life. Keep romance to a minimum unless there is a reason for it. From time to time, ignore his calls, and then call back yourself and say that you were busy. You will see that there are men around who are worthy of your attention.

Take him to a place where you feel like a fish in water. Let your lover feel like a stranger in a new society. After disappearing for a short time, come to his aid: show romanticism and put him in the best light.

Advice! Find a way to cheer up your lover, feel inspired, then leave. Try to disappear from his life, dissolve, disappear into nowhere. Make him want to see you more often.

What to do if you find yourself in the friend zone

If you realize that you have already fallen into the friend zone, then there is only one way out.

Get out of it and stop being a “friend”. No matter what the girl tells you, for example: “You know that I love you in my own way,” or “I can’t live without you,” “I need you very much,” you should not return.

At first it will be painful, offensive and even sorry for yourself. However, if you do not throw off these shackles in time, you will never be able to respect yourself.

You can only succeed with this girl if a lot of time passes. She will be able to understand that you truly were the best and will want to be in a relationship with you. And you will learn to be an Alpha. Only then will you be able to create a strong and happy relationship.

Staying out of the friend zone is much easier than getting out of it.

When to Back Off and Find a New Guy

Efforts to get out of the friend zone do not always lead to positive results - and this is worth keeping in mind. If you forget about this factor, you risk spending a lot of time and effort on someone else's life instead of your own, trying to please a person who has not paid enough attention to you. Instead, go to the dating site Badoo and look for a partner of your choice.

The longer you know a person as a friend, the more difficult it will be to move the relationship to a romantic level - after all, he is used to seeing you in a different role. In addition, if for a long time you have satisfied him in this particular role, he has no motivation to change anything, he will have to be provoked and motivated.

As soon as you feel that you are putting too much energy into this task or straying too far from your comfort levels, it’s time to consider whether the game is worth the candle. Do you really want to change your appearance and style, habits and views for the sake of the attention of the guy you like? Think carefully, because there are many people around who will like you without all these changes.

Long unsuccessful attempts also lead to failure. If you’ve been trying to get a person’s attention for several months now, but he doesn’t give it despite your efforts, give up this idea. Don't think that he doesn't see your exploits. Most likely, he simply doesn’t care about them. With indifference comes pity and discomfort - he feels pressure and therefore perceives you less and less as a potential girlfriend.

How to avoid being friendzoned if she has a boyfriend

If you like a girl who has a boyfriend, it's very difficult not to get friendzoned. There are two options:

Become her lover and hide the relationship from the guy (but why then will you need such an unfaithful girl in the future)
To win her away from a guy (if they have true love, then this will be difficult and pointless)

It is best to choose the opposite option - to abandon the girl and show male solidarity. There are so many beautiful and smart girls in the world that you can definitely find your one and only.

Cause jealousy

Be discreet, but not indifferent. Change tactics: do not demonstrate excessive affection or suffering from unrequited love. Imagine that you are friends not with the object of your passion, but with a man who is indifferent to you. He is an excellent conversationalist, nothing more.

Cut down on meetings with your crush, but continue to communicate with friends. As long as you are free, you are free to communicate with other men. If your current crush doesn't like it, note that you offered him a relationship.

If he complains to you about his girlfriends, respond by telling him about the other men you hang out with. A radical way is to pretend that you like the other guy. Be sure to admire your new acquaintance. This will give your lover mixed feelings. It happens that jealousy causes love.

You are like a sister to me

Some guys are so afraid of responsibility and try to evade it that they come up with various excuses. Most often they are inspiring and harmless. But know that if you hear something like this from a man, then you are in the friend zone:

"I'm busy. . " (=does not respond within 2-3 days). Don't let him fool you. Even if he is sooo, no, not even like that. Even if he is sooooooooo busy, but he is interested in you, he will answer in the evening after work, the next day in the morning or at lunch. If he is silent for more than 24 hours, then you are just a friend who can wait.
“I’m so busy right now with work/study/I have a session/aliens have arrived, I need to cut a water well for them/I need to save the Earth from zombies.” No no no. These are soft excuses. It doesn’t seem to be rude, but it seems that somewhere in the girl’s heart there is a smoldering hope that everything will change soon. In most cases it will not change.
“You are a very cool friend. I appreciate you. You're an amazing girl." Run, wave your hand at him and run. Be a Goddess for another, open up the world of other men, post photos on Instagram in your underwear. Just run away from this swamp, throwing this suitcase without a handle into the kalyuzha.
He doesn't know your birthday, where you work, or what you eat for breakfast. Can you write a three-volume book about his habits and hobbies? Why do you need it?
A man often stares at girls and tells you about his love affairs.
Ignores your proposals for a meeting, makes excuses or blocks any manifestations of sympathy, and moves away from the topic of sympathy. Or, on the contrary, he has a roller coaster, then he plays with you, then he ignores you again.