How to behave at the beginning of a relationship: useful tips for guys and girls

1. 5 recommendations for a girl to behave correctly at the beginning of a relationship
2. Mistakes girls make at the beginning of a relationship
3. Advice from psychologists for men on behavior at the beginning of a relationship
4. 4 mistakes men make at the beginning of a relationship
5. Ways to avoid problems at the beginning of a relationship

How to behave at the beginning of a relationship is a question that many caring people ask, because the moment of the birth of a connection is the most important in the life of lovers. There are butterflies in your stomach from the fact that you just look into each other’s eyes, pleasant words, gifts and a sea of ​​tenderness. The most important thing is not to do anything stupid and be adequate during this period.

In this article you will find certain rules that will help girls and guys preserve their feelings for a long time and not scare off their chosen one. If you follow these recommendations, you can turn a short candy-bouquet period into a long and strong relationship.

Mistakes girls make at the beginning of a relationship

When a woman is interested in a man and seeks to take the relationship to a serious stage, she begins to fear losing this connection. Therefore, she experiences panic and begins to make mistakes that only provoke a breakup.

Mistake #1: Pretentiousness. It was said above that a woman, not knowing how to behave at the beginning of a relationship with a man, begins to reforge her “I” to fit the imaginary ideals and lifestyle of her partner. She changes her manners, behavior and even appearance. The trouble is that pretense does not go unnoticed, it catches the eye and causes bewilderment, and sometimes disappointment, of the chosen one.

Mistake #2 : Inventing a future together. Before she even started dating a guy, the girl had already decided when the wedding would be, what the wedding dress would be, how many children she would have, what names they would have, etc. Moreover, the chosen one is not even aware of such far-reaching plans. Yes, he likes the girl, but he does not expect to spend the rest of his life with her, and is only interested in a non-binding relationship.

Demandingness3

Famous stand-up comedian Bo Burnham has a musical number. It's called "Lower your expectations".

The essence of the song is simple: all people need to lower their demands on others. This is because they are always overpriced. It turns out to be an unpleasant situation - there are many desires, but nothing to give in return.

And this is the main problem: girls often want the impossible, while they have nothing in their soul except a pretty face. In the 21st century this is not enough. Men also need a response, some kind of manifestation of love and affection. And many guys wonder why girls get offended over trifles? You will find the answer further in the link.

Therefore, you should not dump all the claims at once. It is better to express them gradually. So that the partner has a desire to become better, for the sake of his betrothed.

Advice from psychologists for men on behavior at the beginning of a relationship

How to behave correctly at the beginning of a relationship? This question also torments the stronger half. There are five indicators that women pay attention to when choosing a partner.

1. Appearance. The fact that a woman loves with her ears is only partly true. Every lady wants to see next to her a well-groomed companion in good physical shape, neatly dressed and without mourning tape under his nails.

2. Intelligence. To confirm mental abilities, it is not necessary to have a couple of higher educations. But being able to speak not only using interjections, clearly expressing your point of view, and simply being able to maintain a conversation on various topics is important for the vast majority of women.
3. Upbringing. Although we live in an era of feminism, any girl will be pleased if her boyfriend opens the door for her or gives her his hand when getting out of the car. This is not just gallantry, this is elementary education, once again emphasizing the intelligence of a man.
4. Character traits. The main character traits that give a woman a feeling of confidence in her partner are determination, the ability to show care, kindness, honesty, the ability to set and achieve goals, and to be a leader.
5. Feeling of reliability. It is important for women to feel like they are behind a stone wall with a man and look into the future with confidence. If a partner does not have goals, does not consider it necessary to share everyday difficulties with his chosen one, or is ready to live at the expense of his beloved, then most likely the woman will not be interested in him.

A woman who values ​​herself

A woman of value will not enter into a relationship where she is not valued. If this woman is offered something that does not fit into her picture of the world at all, she will absolutely calmly say: “No, this doesn’t suit me” or “I don’t want it that way.”

And a woman who deserves love, who tries with all her might to please, who thinks about her every step, will often end up in the wrong relationship. The men in her life are not very respectful of her or suddenly disappear, or do not show the attention she would like. That is, men will show her what she feels about herself.

What to do about it? Develop your value, cultivate this feeling that will be unconditional.

Next to a woman who is in self-love, a man strives to show his best qualities. Such a woman feels joy when she looks at herself in the mirror. She herself is the most dear and close person to her in life.

Do you know this feeling? When, instead of finding another wrinkle or some kind of flaws on your body, you simply rejoice in the fact that you exist. And you don't want to change anything about yourself.

I don't mean that you shouldn't improve yourself. You need to grow spiritually, physically, emotionally, and personally. But when you accept yourself, love yourself, admire yourself, this development will happen in love, in joy, pleasure and enjoyment. And it’s as if the whole world will help you on your path, in different areas of your life. And we can truly love other people only if we truly love ourselves.

Otherwise, a woman dissatisfied with herself, with claims towards herself, will see the same in her partner. Maybe she will even meet the man of her dreams, who will show her attention and care, but she will not be able to see it in him.

If a woman reveals love, tenderness and sensuality in herself, then she helps her partner to open up too. She herself begins to look at him through the filters of love, endowing him with the best qualities.

To learn how to help your partner open up in a relationship, sign up for our free 6-day online course: “Man: honest instructions for use. No drama or manipulation."

3. Intrude, try to clarify the relationship when the man moves away

This is the nature of a man - as soon as he comes too close to a girl and feels that he has fallen in love with her, he instantly disappears. He goes “to his cave” to look at the situation from the outside, look at this girl from the outside and restore his masculinity. The worst thing during this period is to start imposing yourself on a man, trying to clarify the relationship, calling, sending messages about how you are suffering, etc. This will only discourage him from returning. You just need to understand the psychology of men, and if he leaves, let him go. If he comes back, fine, continue your communication, but if he doesn’t, it means he’s simply not your person.

5. Idealization of a partner and justification of his behavior

When we fall in love, sometimes it blows our minds, and we stop noticing obvious things. Girls in the period of falling in love are very lenient towards a man’s shortcomings, naively believing that the man next to them will change. No, a man is a form of life that is difficult to change.

If he did not change during the period of courtship with you, then this will not happen after the wedding. Have a list of those qualities and traits of a man that you are definitely not ready to put up with. And if you see their manifestation in any of the fans, this is a sign for you that this is not your person (unless he proves otherwise and changes).

Basic mistakes

Trying to control all the actions of a man is one of the main mistakes of a woman.
The relationship between a man and a woman may depend on the mistakes made by one of the partners. That's why it's so important to know which actions are fundamentally wrong.

1. A woman takes on the role of a mother and begins to treat her partner like a child. She is trying to control him, take care of him, and solve his problems. This is a common mistake that will lead to abnormal relationships. In addition, the individual characteristics of each man should be taken into account. Someone may really need such an attitude, but if a woman connects her life with a self-sufficient partner, then this state of affairs will oppress him even more. A woman must understand that such guardianship will eventually lead to the man completely ceasing to be independent and in constant need of care. But he should be a protector and support in the family, and not vice versa. A woman should cultivate independence in her partner. It is unacceptable to perform for him actions that he can do. Let him make independent decisions as often as possible and take responsibility. You need to remind your partner that he should be a person you can always rely on. It is important to communicate with him as an equal. At the same time, it is unacceptable, in the event of any mistakes or failures, to reproach a man for this.
2. Devoting yourself to your loved one, excluding your own interests. A situation where a man becomes an idol before whom his wife bows. A woman will not be able to live a full life, be happy, all her actions are only for the sake of her beloved. Soon she will begin to degrade as a person, stop all communication with people, and give up on herself. She believes that over time her sacrifice will be appreciated by a man. However, this happens extremely rarely. Often relationships end in separation. A woman should not sacrifice herself for the sake of a man. It is important to remember your interests, set goals, find a hobby, and devote time to it. You need to remember that your career is just as important to you as it is to your partner; there is no need to sacrifice everything for him. Do not forget that normal relationships can only be built through the intercourse of full-fledged, equal individuals.
3. Assessing a man's potential in the future. A woman loves her partner not as he is at a given moment in time, but as he can become. Often there will be losers next to her, because there is a need to save someone. Such a woman is sure that after her intervention the man will become talented and achieve a lot in life.
4. A woman puts psychological pressure on her partner. Every girl should understand that she has the power to inspire her beloved to heroic deeds or to depress him psychologically. If a girl suppresses her lover, she makes him unnecessary and deeply unhappy. Don't oppress your man. It is important to be able to support your loved one, admire his talents, successes, and behave reasonably. There is no need to find fault with him and blow your mind.
5. A woman should not be allowed to doubt her partner. It is unacceptable to think that somewhere nearby there is someone better than the one who exists now. In such relationships, a man becomes what he is seen as. If you believe in a person, consider him the best, then he will be so.
6. A woman does not support her partner and does not pay attention to his goals and interests. And if she also sets his more successful neighbor as an example, then such a relationship is doomed.
7. It is unacceptable to remain silent if a partner behaves unworthily, insults, or raises his hand. A woman should not tolerate such behavior, otherwise she will forever remain a victim.
8. Jealousy.
9. Action control.

4. Premature fidelity, care and service as a husband

This is typical for many women. Come up with a beautiful scenario for your romantic story in your head and believe in it. Because of our naivety and purity, we perceive every man we meet as our husband. Men think completely differently. They do not become so attached to their partners, so it is much easier for them to break off the relationship. To avoid suffering, simply do not become attached to a man who did not put a ring on your finger and did not become your husband.

Save all your tenderness and passion for only one man, for the one who wants a family with you, who turns out to be a reliable and responsible person. Be friends with many men, surround yourself with numerous admirers, this will prevent you from becoming attached to one and starting to treat him like a husband. Only the one who, with beautiful courtship and worthy deeds, will win you away from all his competitors, will receive his valuable prize - your love.

Allow intimacy

A hundred volumes have already been written about this, but naive girls still think that sex can keep a man. “If I don’t give it to him, he’ll go to someone else.” Well, let him go! And thank God! Why do you need someone who only wants sex from you?

A serious man needs the whole woman, along with her personal qualities, inner world, her ideas and aspirations. If he is only interested in your body, know that it is not serious. And as soon as he gets his way, rest assured, he will fall off. Develop yourself as a person so that you can interest a man not only in your body.

Complaints about a man

Another mistake a woman makes that prevents her from building close and trusting relationships is complaining about a man to strangers, judging and discussing his shortcomings.

If you tell your girlfriends or your mom (the people who love you) in detail about how bad your boyfriend is, they will begin to protect you from him and discourage you. They may start to think badly of your man, his dignity will fall in their eyes, they will stop respecting him.

Be serious

Being overly serious yourself and taking a new relationship seriously is a mistake. You should not come to the second date in a veil to show the seriousness of your intentions)). You will be much more attractive to a man if you are cheerful and easy-going.

In the first stages, a man can be greatly put off by excessive responsibility, so do not overload him with tasks. He is not your husband and does not owe you anything. Be open and playful (but remember to be inaccessible), this behavior has a much higher chance of charming a man.

1. Surrender yourself to please a man who doesn’t accept you.

If a man is not satisfied with your appearance and asks you to lose weight/get better, or doesn’t like your hobbies, this is not your man. To remake yourself to please someone means to go against your nature, which will in no way make you happy. Know that YOUR man will adore all your strengths and weaknesses, for him you will be the best, he will never dare to set some other girl as an example for you. And he will respect your interests, even if he does not understand them. But he will give you permission to express yourself as you see fit. And those men who don’t accept and understand you are simply not yours, don’t cheat on yourself to please them!