What does dating mean - how to start a relationship between a man and a woman correctly?

Love and relationships

What should you do at the beginning of a relationship to strengthen it?
Practical guidance from a children's fairy tale

What should a girl not do at the beginning of a relationship?

The most vibrant and romantic relationships are at the beginning. Passion, intrigue, new impressions – a whole whirlwind of feelings. But at this stage, the connection between the partners is shaky, not yet secured by mutual grinding. That's why many novels end before they even begin. No girl can insure herself against such a result.

But by following some recommendations, she will certainly be able to transform the candy-bouquet period into a long-term relationship

How do relationships usually begin?

It doesn’t matter where you met the person you wanted to get to know better. The main thing is that he has appeared, and contact with him is necessary here and now. If the feelings are mutual, and both of you are not timid, then you can skip the initial stage and get down to business. That is, start a real serious romance.

In another case, one of the participants in the emerging relationship cannot or does not want to take a big step forward. Therefore, often a man and a woman begin to be friends: spend weekends together, go to the cinema, help each other. And all these actions smoothly lead to something more. And... They won’t lead me at all.

According to tradition, a man decides to do something to make his passion realize that he is not with her out of sporting interest. And the woman is waiting for official recognition of herself and her gentleman as a couple. Then this exciting question is asked: “Let’s meet?” Young girls usually accept the proposal with hidden glee, but experienced representatives of the fair sex begin to doubt - it somehow sounds undignified.

So what is “dating” and how to do it correctly? Let us outline the main positive components of this process:

spend time with your partner,
communicate frequently online or via SMS,
show affection and care,
engage in intimate intimacy (not necessarily sex, there can just be kisses and hugs).

Sounds good, but there is another side to the coin. Here are the negative aspects that alarm people who date:

It’s not a fact that you are the only person your partner communicates with,
uncertainty of feelings and intentions,
It is not known how long such “meetings” will last, but the years go by.

Another problem is that for men and women this concept has different, and sometimes even opposite, meanings. This is an important point, so let's look at it in more detail.

Advice from psychologists for men on behavior at the beginning of a relationship

How to behave correctly at the beginning of a relationship? This question also torments the stronger half. There are five indicators that women pay attention to when choosing a partner.

Appearance. The fact that a woman loves with her ears is only partly true. Every lady wants to see next to her a well-groomed companion in good physical shape, neatly dressed and without mourning tape under his nails.
Intelligence. To confirm mental abilities, it is not necessary to have a couple of higher educations. But being able to speak not only using interjections, clearly expressing your point of view, and simply being able to maintain a conversation on various topics is important for the vast majority of women.
Upbringing. Although we live in an era of feminism, any girl will be pleased if her boyfriend opens the door for her or gives her his hand when getting out of the car. This is not just gallantry, this is elementary education, once again emphasizing the intelligence of a man.
Character traits. The main character traits that give a woman a feeling of confidence in her partner are determination, the ability to show care, kindness, honesty, the ability to set and achieve goals, and to be a leader.
Feeling of reliability. It is important for women to feel like they are behind a stone wall with a man and look into the future with confidence. If a partner does not have goals, does not consider it necessary to share everyday difficulties with his chosen one, or is ready to live at the expense of his beloved, then most likely the woman will not be interested in him.

What does “dating” mean to men?

Representatives of the stronger sex, as a rule, have a more balanced psyche than women. They don't care about the status of the relationship in the initial stages. If they met a girl a couple of weeks ago, they don’t think about whether they will marry her or not. And they don’t even think about where their children together will go to school. For guys, peace of mind and regularity are important. And let the rest take its course.

So, it’s convenient for men to ask a pretty girl to date. They give this concept the following meaning:

This is more of a friendship than a romantic relationship. There is closeness, but the connection does not yet oblige us to anything serious.
It is not necessary to date just one chosen one. The choice of a real life partner lies in comparison with several contenders.
You don't have to have strong feelings for the person you're dating. Often for guys this is a way to occupy free time and get warm emotions.

Let these facts bring the girls, inspired by feelings, down a little from heaven. It's better to know the bitter truth than the sweet lie. However, all of the above signs do not mean that there is no hope for a better outcome. It is possible that meetings will develop into a real serious relationship, because men do not think ahead and easily fall in love at any moment.

Safe meetings

If a girl is afraid of relationships, then at first it is worth meeting in the company of mutual friends. When you are brave enough to be alone with a guy, be calm and confident. To avoid the condemnation of society and the unpleasant glances of others, do not talk about your personal life in the company of unfamiliar people.

Discuss relationships only with those friends who will not spread gossip behind your back. Be sure to inform your parents about the appearance of a new, good friend in your life.

Don't flaunt your relationship. To avoid gossip, do not hug or kiss in public, especially in front of old women on benches near the entrance. Be more modest on dates. You shouldn't encourage a guy's touch if you don't want intimacy. Tell your partner that you are not ready for sex and gauge their reaction.

The boy’s gestures, facial expressions and words will help you understand whether you should be wary of accidental intimacy.

Don't change guys. If you decide to date one boy, don't encourage others. Otherwise you will be known as a flighty fool. The result may be sad. Guys will either turn away or begin to openly take revenge and mock you, regardless of your feelings.

Try not to date a boy more than 2-3 years older than you. During adolescence, age differences can become a significant obstacle to mutual understanding.

Grown-up guys usually don’t strive for serious relationships with teenagers, wanting only to have fun and gain experience.

Avoid boys with immoral behavior. Alcohol, drugs and brawls bring problems, but do not add romance. If you fall in love with a decent boy of the right age, the feelings are mutual, then the relationship is likely to work out well, and your parents and friends will only rejoice at your happiness.

What meaning do girls put into the concept of “dating”?

Many ladies like to have a good dream and believe in an invented fairy tale. Unfortunately, it is in the blood of the fair sex. A woman’s perspective on the question “Why do people meet?” different from male:

This is the first stage of the development of deep feeling. You won’t run down the aisle right away, so you’ll have to be patient and temporarily agree to informal communication.
It’s worth taking a closer look at each other so that later in your life together you can easily smooth out the rough edges.
It takes time to get to know your significant other's loved ones.
You need to show your best side to get married.

In general, with girls everything is much more serious. They have high hopes for the proposal to date and spend a lot of mental energy on this relationship. To relax and enjoy communicating with a nice person, you need to be able to discern a man's intentions. It often happens that already in the midst of an affair, a woman understands that she and her intended chosen one have completely different goals. Therefore, here are some tips to avoid getting caught in the web of frivolous men:

Don't lie to yourself. If you immediately notice that a guy is frivolous about life, and in particular about you, do not come up with excuses for him. Why do you need trips to the cinema and long conversations if you can meet only in bed? Don't expect any good from such men.
Discuss mutual intentions right away at the dating stage. You shouldn’t look for hidden meaning if the guy said that he doesn’t need a serious relationship.
Pay attention to the man's actions. If he helps in difficult times and takes care of your health, then the chances of a successful outcome are much higher.

Don’t expect grandiose confessions in your first meetings and don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go according to plan. If a particular person is not right for you, or your life plans together go against each other, it is not the end of the world. We will answer further how long you need to communicate with your partner to understand whether he has serious intentions.

Practical psychology

There are things that are the basis for meeting and communicating between people, regardless of who wants to make a good impression on the interlocutor: a guy or a girl. Dale Carnegie and other psychologists devoted a lot of work to this. Nowadays it is often mentioned on social networks that Carnegie died alone. However, this is a distortion of the facts. It’s just that some people unconditionally believe everything that is written on the Internet without checking the information.

Let's remember what communication rules professionals talk about:

The first impression is very important. The human psyche is such that the brain evaluates a stranger in a matter of seconds and hangs a certain “label” on him. Therefore, it is very important how a girl is dressed, what kind of cosmetics she wears, how she smells, etc. This does not entirely apply specifically to communication, but the impression a guy gets about you depends on your appearance.
You need to smile more often. If a woman smiles, a man starts a monologue on a subconscious level: “Wow! She is a positive person. Finally! At least someone lives happily in this world. Surely, she won’t “burden” herself with her problems or just sit there with a sour look.” Unfortunately, in Russia people are accustomed to behaving differently from typical Americans. They smile with or without reason at acquaintances and strangers. Although there is a significant difference: the smiles of our compatriots are always more sincere. When you go on a date with a person after spending several months at home looking for a suitable guy on dating sites or VKontakte, isn’t that a reason to smile?! You need to learn. The easiest way is to practice in front of a mirror.
What you say is very important. But what should you say to a person you don’t really know yet? Everything is very simple: he needs to give him some kind of pre-prepared or spontaneous compliment. People love to be praised.
What is even more important is not what you say, but how you say it. This statement is confirmed by numerous studies and examples. If there is something wrong with diction or timbre, it’s worth working on it. You know, a declaration of love in a hysterically high voice will sound ambiguous.
Carnegie recommended, among other things, to show sincere interest in the interlocutor. We'll talk more about this later.

The above five points can truly be called the basis for creating a good first impression. Although this is clearly not enough to interest a man and, most importantly, keep him. Men are a polygamous people, they run after every skirt. Therefore, only a wise woman should make sure that the young man does not have the slightest desire to look for a relationship on the side.

Will the ex come back or how to understand that the ex-boyfriend wants to come back

Who knows whether the ex will return or whether the ex will not return. I write articles strictly at the request of possible readers, not without humor, but to lift the mood and release positive energy. Question from the category: “Is there life on Mars?” Seriously, the question itself smacks a little of fear, or fear of loss mixed with the desire to get it back. Or vice versa - the fear of returning, as they say, well, I wouldn’t want to, is read between the lines. In a good way, be that as it may, parting itself symbolizes completion or interruption.

If there are no problems with personal boundaries, then after some time a kind of INFLATION of the former relationship occurs. That is, it should not matter whether they return. And any transformational requests to return or not return indirectly indicate that the girl herself is not over yet and there are some voids. It is quite possible that there is an internal dialogue going on, that is, she herself has not yet let go of this relationship. Here, every girl should understand herself independently, in her own interests.

Clubs and parties i

These are probably the places that first come to mind when thinking about dating without obligations. Indeed, a very small percentage of people come to the club hoping to find the love of their life. Usually everything is much more trivial. In clubs they have fun, drink and look for easy sex. There are a dime a dozen men there who are ready to spend time with a pretty girl. This method of meeting someone for one-time meetings is more suitable for girls under 35 years old, since meeting an adult man on the dance floor is quite problematic.

This option is unlikely to be suitable if you are looking for a permanent sex partner. Guys who are up for a fun night out aren't always thinking about long-term, no-strings-attached relationships.