Self-respect (psychology): how to start respecting yourself


Self-respect is the ability to see your strengths and personal boundaries, understand your needs and value yourself. Self-respect is a person’s attitude towards himself. If he does not respect himself, then he considers him unworthy of love, attention, happiness, and respect from other people. Such a person finds himself hostage to dependent relationships and cannot realize himself in life. Let's take a closer look at what self-respect is.

Why is this necessary?

Before we talk about how to start respecting yourself, you should say a few words about why this is needed. Self-esteem is necessary for a person to learn to value himself and always feel confident. This is what will allow him to achieve success in life and career.

A confident person radiates a special atmosphere. You want to follow such a person; you can trust him.

Tests

Let's say you realized that something is wrong with your self-esteem. What to do next?

In psychology, there are many methods that allow you to determine the level of self-esteem and self-acceptance. These are scientific, experimentally proven, and popular science methods for determining the basic inclinations of a person.

  • “How much do I love myself” - by answering 36 questions, you will see your attitude towards yourself;
  • “Self-love: what is your level of self-esteem” - shows how much you value yourself;
  • “Self-love” is an indicative test for determining your attitude towards yourself;
  • The “Do I Love Myself” test is an informative popular scientific method for displaying self-acceptance;
  • “How do you rate yourself?” – a professional test showing the depths of your subconscious;
  • The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale is a professional technique that shows how a person feels and imagines himself.

After passing one or more tests, you have identified your problem. But tests do not provide an opportunity to improve and increase self-esteem. They are like an indicator that allows you to observe yourself from the outside, to pay attention to your behavior or character traits.

Basic principles

Psychologists have been able to identify a certain algorithm of actions that concerns how to learn to respect oneself. The system of raising self-esteem is a very complex and responsible process, which includes certain nuances.

  1. First of all, in the question of how to begin to respect yourself, an important role is played by how a person treats himself. You must always soberly assess your strengths and weaknesses. This will allow you to better understand your abilities.
  2. You should never set yourself impossible tasks. This leads to the fact that a person will not achieve the desired result, which is why he will experience depression and a feeling of inferiority.
  3. You should never compare yourself to other people. Every person has their own merits and demerits.
  4. It is recommended to always praise yourself for achieving any success and never punish yourself if you fail to achieve the desired result.

It is worth remembering that absolutely all people have their shortcomings. But because of them, some people reduce the effectiveness of their lives and constantly feel inferior. Other people, on the contrary, take their own shortcomings for granted and, despite them, become strong and independent.

How can a woman or man love himself and increase self-esteem?

There are many reasons that result in low self-esteem. Typically, it is a deeply ingrained view of a person about himself, originating in childhood, past experiences and long-term absence of parents. Self-sacrifice can be caused by the experience of psychological and (or) sexual violence, wrong decisions that led a person to significant problems. If a person has experienced any type of violence, he will definitely need the help of a professional to improve his self-esteem.

The help of a psychologist or psychotherapist will provide an opportunity to release painful issues, speak out and reconcile. Many people try to increase their self-esteem on their own, but this does not give the expected result. Sometimes this approach leads to a worsening of the condition, even to the most negative consequences. To raise your self-esteem, you need to have remarkable fortitude, will and a stable psyche. The best option would be to contact a specialist.

Constantly develop

Every self-respecting person should never stop there. He must always improve himself. At work, you should always work on your acquired skills and learn everything new. At home, you need to read classical literature, which will significantly increase your vocabulary and broaden your horizons. In your free time from work, you can enroll in foreign language courses. A person who has thought about how to learn to love, respect and appreciate himself must always work on himself and strive for perfection.

Work on your body

A person cannot feel confident in himself if he always feels uncomfortable. It is recommended to visit the gym at least 2-3 times a week or train at home. Firstly, a good and fit figure will give a person self-confidence. Secondly, sports activities contribute to the release of happiness hormones into the body, so even after morning exercise the athlete will feel great throughout the day. But it’s better to refuse treats and baked goods. These products, on the contrary, dull a person’s vital energy.

Why is it important to love yourself

Sometimes you want to become like the girls “from the cover” - the most beautiful and ideal. But such people do not exist, and when they find disadvantages, they become depressed and experience stress. Those who value themselves do not feel guilty for their shortcomings, but try to eradicate them, feel their self-sufficiency and uniqueness. A person sees personality.

Love also gives confidence, which affects manners, movements, and gait. Those around you feel radiated calm and harmony, due to which a positive attitude towards them is formed. To love life and yourself means that a woman gains emotional stability. Such ladies do not need approval from others. They are less susceptible to manipulation by public opinion, which gives them freedom of action and freedom from the fear of “what people will say.”

The ideal solution for girls is shopping

A woman by her natural nature is a lover of everything beautiful and exquisite. She cannot love herself at a time when she is absolutely unhappy with her appearance. How to start appreciating yourself in such a situation? Of course, it’s worth going shopping and choosing the most beautiful outfits in which a woman will feel confident. It is also recommended to visit a hairdresser and cosmetologist, who will create an image that embodies a confident personality.

What are the consequences of low self-esteem?

Disrespect for yourself will primarily affect your health and psyche. A person may begin to be haunted by negativity in life (loss of job, divorce, etc.). He begins to feel a feeling of unfulfillment, disappointment in relationships, uncontrollability of the situation, everything seems to be floating out of his hands...

Every woman must respect herself, otherwise she risks being unclaimed or constantly humiliated by loved ones and strangers. An unhappy appearance evokes pity only for a while, and even then not for everyone. Then he begins to irritate those around him. Helpless in the face of life's difficulties, a person risks becoming a victim of violence (emotional, physical, sexual), being discriminated against due to religious views, culture, race, gender, etc. He may develop a mental disorder.

Always maintain a positive attitude in everything

Psychologists and sociologists have managed to identify a great way to learn to respect yourself. To do this, you only need to perform one action - let positivity into your body. A person who thinks positively will never stop staying on the achieved path. All obstacles will disappear in front of him in an instant, and he will be confident that he will cope with any task, even the most seemingly difficult one for him. A person who thinks negatively will not go to an interview, because he will be sure that there will be plenty of worthy candidates besides him, and he will not be able to cope with such competition. A person who thinks positively will definitely go for an interview, as positive thinking will make him confident that he will definitely cope with the task.

Have your own point of view on everything and don’t live someone else’s life

How to learn to respect and value yourself? First of all, you need to do everything to look decent in the eyes of other people. You shouldn't look at how other people live. You have your own life and most likely have your own interests. You must be a confident person - and then other people will set such a person as an example and will strive to be like him.

Under no circumstances should you think the way others think. A person should always have his own point of view on everything, which he must prove by arguing with certain facts.

Causes

Why doesn't anyone respect me? If no one respects you, things are bad. Because such cases are very rare .

This means that either everyone around you is not very intelligent, rude, insensitive people, or you are behaving inappropriately.

But more often than not, such a question is the result of an illusion . It probably seems to you that everyone around you is looking askance and is only busy making plans to hurt you.

Pay attention, take a closer look at your surroundings. Perhaps there are people who treat you with warmth.

How to make your parents respect you?

Parents are those people who will always love their children, no matter what. But in order for them to be proud of their child, they need to know how to respect themselves. First of all, you should stop depending on them. An adult must learn to provide for himself. Secondly, you should learn to make decisions on your own, weaning yourself from asking mom and dad for advice. Only when he begins a full-fledged independent life will a person be able to appreciate what he really is, and therefore will understand why he can respect and value himself.

Material side

Women should learn one simple truth: you should not expect respect from men if you have not succeeded as a person. A companion who has an independent character evokes respect from a man on a subconscious level. He must feel: she will live without him.

Many women are ready to depend on their men financially. It seems to them that life is good if they have the opportunity not to work and take care of home and family. On the one hand, a man likes it when his woman is at home and can spend all his free time with him. But on the other hand, he feels that she is completely in his power. And this in no way contributes to the growth of respect. Moreover, being in the house in a whirlwind of everyday worries, women often degrade. As a result, they lose the respect of their spouses, who remain socially active.

How to make yourself respected at work?

Work is the very place on which a person’s well-being directly depends. It is very important that at an enterprise an employee is respected by both colleagues and boss. Only in this case will he be ensured productive growth. You need to make yourself respected in the following way:

  • It is worth becoming a highly qualified employee who is well versed in his field of activity. It’s a mistake to just come to work and fulfill your daily quota. It is required to fully understand each operation performed. It is also recommended to constantly improve your skills by taking part in advanced training courses.
  • You need to be a punctual person, always come to work on time and not miss a day of work without a good reason.
  • You shouldn’t allow yourself to be rude and humiliate yourself if something in your work doesn’t work out. It is worth conveying to the offender as correctly as possible the fact that there are no absolutely ideal people in the world and every person has made mistakes at some point.
  • You should always look neat and tidy. A person who attracts you based on external characteristics will command due respect.

How to learn to respect yourself? This is not an easy, but completely doable task. First of all, you should remain yourself. You need to appreciate all the positive and negative aspects of your character.

Signs of self-disrespect

Signs of self-disrespect:

  1. You are afraid to express your opinion, to show your true self. You depend on other people's opinions and constantly adapt to other people, trying to please everyone.
  2. You focus on your shortcomings and losses, and do not know how to accept compliments and praise. You are afraid to talk about your abilities, virtues and victories, because you consider this to be bragging.
  3. You are constantly sacrificing yourself, pleasing others, caring for others.
  4. You are used to looking for the cause of failures in yourself. And if something good happens, then you say that you were just lucky.
  5. You are haunted by a feeling of shame and guilt, you are prone to self-flagellation, self-examination and self-punishment.
  6. You are afraid to show your emotions and constantly suppress them. For you, emotions are a sign of weakness. You are afraid that other people will despise you for this.
  7. You tolerate disrespectful attitudes towards you, do not know how to respond to insults, or defend yourself. It’s easier for you to remain silent, leave, endure.
  8. You find it difficult to make decisions. If you try to do something according to your own heart, you will feel guilty.
  9. You look for approval and support from others, but you constantly associate yourself with those who insult and humiliate you.
  10. You are insecure and focused on negativity.
  11. You constantly apologize and make excuses.
  12. Despite all the suffering, you are not trying to change your life.

Note! A person who does not have self-respect is afraid of mistakes and criticism. Therefore, he prefers to “keep his head down” or does everything to please others.

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