Femininity through the eyes of guys, or a view from the outside

08/23/201603/29/2019 Nadezhda Plotnikova

When describing the ideal representative of the fair half of humanity, guys often mention such a characteristic as femininity. This quality is glorified by singers and writers, and portrayed by artists and composers.

What does femininity look like? Perhaps it’s all about the right clothes and makeup? Or does a beautiful figure play a special role? Of course, external data plays an important role in the concept of “femininity,” but young people value inner female strength more.

What is femininity?

Beautiful girls, who do not understand at all why the opposite sex considers them more like friends, sooner or later begin to ask the right question: what is femininity and is this not what men expect from young ladies?

According to numerous sources, femininity is a combination of characteristics that are usually attributed to the weaker sex or expected from girls, for example, sensitivity, honesty, devotion, tenderness, gentleness.

All this makes representatives of the stronger half of humanity feel like men. Of course, different cultures and eras have interpreted femininity in completely different ways. However, the qualities listed above are inherent, perhaps, in every time and people.

But! Modern ladies are becoming more and more confident in their own capabilities, free and desiring independence. To cope with difficulties, women make their own efforts without asking men for help. Femininity is gradually disappearing...

A game

At their core, women are players. Changing hair color, completely changing your wardrobe in one day, changing your image beyond recognition - every woman is capable of this. She loves fashion, which helps her change her look every season. Despite all this, the woman does not lose her “I”.

What can you get from nature?

According to psychologists, nature itself rewards each representative of the fairer sex with femininity, and each in different ways. Nature gives its own style, the ability to enchant, charm, tools of seduction.

So everyone has innate femininity, the main thing is to be able to appreciate and reveal all this.

External femininity

Guys love with their eyes, as you know, which is why for them a feminine lady is one whose figure and appearance evoke desire. This is the so-called external femininity, which creates a certain set of impressions in the stronger sex just at one glance at a girl.

How to become feminine and desirable for a man? Is your figure and selectivity in clothing important?

1. A feminine woman, according to many men, has long hair. Historically, young ladies with waist-length thick manes are considered more attractive than girls with short haircuts. However, the main thing is well-groomed and natural hair; it is better to do without high and overly complex hairstyles.
2. A beautiful figure is not just a tribute to fashion. You should not think about beauty standards; it is better to think about normal weight, exercise and nutrition. A slim figure and optimal body weight are signs of femininity.
3. Femininity through a man's eyes is the presence of dresses, high heels, and transparent blouses in a girl's wardrobe. In clothing, it is preferable to use materials that are soft to the touch, flow and give the figure lightness and airiness. Excessively brutal things destroy the feminine essence.
4. Surveys on men's forums show that, not particularly understanding the intricacies of using cosmetics, guys subconsciously consider excessive “coloring” on the face to be vulgar. In their opinion, a feminine woman prefers soft and delicate shades in makeup.
5. The figure, of course, is important, but an equally essential condition for the external attributes of femininity is a well-groomed and neat appearance. Beautiful skin, clean, smooth hair, neat manicure are the most feminine signs of a true lady.

Sociological and psychological survey

Russian psychologists and sociologists conducted a survey in 2021 in which they determined what qualities men mean by femininity. The results were as follows (in descending order):

• beauty;
• fragility;
• tenderness;
• sexuality;
• calm, gentle and high-pitched, but not shrill voice;
• weakness;
• mystery;
• heat;
• mind;
• caring;
• meaningful and playful look;
• grace.

It is worth clarifying some of the answers. Beauty is a subjective concept, but every man mentioned grooming and neatness in this paragraph. Sexuality does not mean cheeky behavior and vulgar appearance, but mystery, restraint and elegance, the ability to captivate with one’s gaze.

Inner femininity

It is extremely difficult to explain and talk about what inner femininity is through the eyes of men.
Every representative of the stronger sex realizes what a feminine woman she is, but rarely anyone can express it in words. This is not a figure, not hair, but something so personal that it can motivate a guy to action, make him want to get a girl.

Let's turn again to men's forums. What do guys mean by the concept of “femininity”?

1. A feminine woman is relaxed and calm. Irritability, nervousness and hysteria do not decorate a lovely lady. She is like a cat lying on a soft sofa, but at any moment she is ready to gather herself, concentrate and go out to “hunt”.
2. The ability to trust a man is an important quality for girls. A commanding tone, numerous lectures and a hard look are unlikely to decorate a woman. Guys, looking at a young lady, should want to stand up for her, hide her behind their back and in every possible way protect her from any problems.
3. True femininity is the ability to listen and communicate. This means both the ability to feel and be “infected” by the emotions of the interlocutor, as well as general erudition, possession of certain knowledge and speech skills. In addition, it is important for a girl to be able to keep secrets.
4. Emotionality is also a sign of femininity, so you should not succumb to feminist sentiments and forget about your nature. But! Excessive expression of feelings can transfer you to the rank of an unbalanced person and a hysterical person. An important rule is naturalness and, oddly enough, reasonableness in emotional manifestations.
5. Figure, pretty face, good taste in clothes? No. Women have long been associated with motherhood. Not a single beauty can compare in femininity with a future mother, with a girl raising a child. This is a natural instinct, if you like, a woman’s destiny.

Problem from childhood

To be honest, as a psychologist, the frivolous ideal is not very close to me. So I will offer my understanding of femininity - a positive attitude towards your gender and your body. And therefore this concept does not correlate with the love of pink dresses or manipulation of men. To be feminine means to accept your sexuality in the broadest sense of the word and find many advantages in it

And whether you’re wearing stiletto heels or wearing a helmet and a fire hose is not so important

Alas, the truth is that not all representatives of the fair sex are delighted with their own bodily capabilities and limitations. Some desperately resist the idea of ​​motherhood, others suffer from feelings of inferiority and fiercely compete with men. Others quietly hate their bodies as a source of frustration. To paraphrase the classic, there are many unhappy people, and everyone is unhappy in their own way.

The difference in the experience of one’s own gender should be sought in communication with the closest person – the mother

. A parent, satisfied with her marriage, child, and friendly support, demonstrates femininity every day, as a matter of course. But the mother, exhausted, irritated, having long forgotten about self-love, is a different story. “My pregnancy was a nightmare”, “men love cheeky people, but you and I are not like that”, “you know who is fixated on their appearance.” These sincere, but not the most constructive, maternal beliefs are the building blocks of our ideas about sexual relationships.

Without wanting it, the unhappy mother broadcasts: being a woman is a so-so job. It is joyless, difficult, dangerous. It is not surprising that, having learned her mother’s lesson at a young age, the girl completely forgets about her charm. She seems to be trying to belittle female nature in order to avoid the vicissitudes of fate. Growing up, such a girl can become her favorite boyfriend, a strong specialist - anyone, but not a beautiful woman.

What do men say?

Men's forums are full of opinions and comments regarding the feminine essence, femininity and the ideal image of the other half. So, what kind of feminine woman is she?

She is charming, distinguished by sophistication, good manners, and the ability to present herself favorably, which produces an incredible effect. What is femininity through the eyes of men?

This image includes criteria such as:

• internal softness;
• trust and respect for the partner;
• ability to avoid conflicts;
• affectionate character;
• love for the child;
• a slim body;
• long hair in natural shades;
• love and desire for purity in all aspects;
• desire for self-development;
• absence of bad habits.

Of course, some guys are crazy about girls with a strong character, purposeful and able to solve their problems on their own.

However, these men still prefer to cast their lot in with feminine girls who are distinguished by their weakness and softness.

Afterword

Femininity is a complex of external and internal qualities attributed to women and expected from them. Men's ideas about femininity are approximately the same, and we have examined them. But every man has his own ideal of a woman. Femininity is only one aspect, and not every image of an ideal woman is inherent. Some people like strong-willed, masculine girls.

Femininity or its absence does not indicate the happiness or unhappiness of a woman, a couple of a man and a woman. What is more important is what image a woman is comfortable in, what kind of man she needs and what kind of woman he needs. Read more about female ideals and male preferences in the article “Which female images are attractive to men from a psychological point of view.”

How to become more feminine?

True femininity lies in simple truths that are accessible to every girl. But as is usually the case, simplicity is an extremely complex thing. The men's forum and comments from guys show what they expect from potential life partners.

So, what should a girl change about herself so that a man considers her feminine?

1. Unavailability. A girl is a goal for the stronger sex, because they still remain warriors and hunters. A man wants to conquer a fortress, conquer the peak. A feminine woman is valued for her inaccessibility and ability to be proud (of course, without unnecessary fanaticism).
2. Happiness. Joyful carelessness, smiling and easy communication give the girl more femininity. Many men strive for such a young lady. However, today's ladies are enjoying little things and little surprises less and less, acquiring detachment and masculine character traits.
3. Weakness. Modern girls are entering into tough confrontation with men for social dominance, equal rights and more significant social roles. Such a struggle does not contribute to femininity, because by their nature, lovely ladies are weak creatures who need a man’s shoulder. Men on forums are sure that a woman’s charm lies in her weakness.
4. Effectiveness. An attractive and charismatic girl stands out from the crowd. A sweet young lady seems more feminine than a beauty whose clothes are predominantly masculine. Figure-flattering dresses and additional accessories always attract guys.
5. Romance. Who said that sentimentality is not in fashion these days? Admiring the sunset, walking and kissing under the moon, watching a melodrama together - romance, which, unfortunately, is gradually disappearing due to the oversaturation of impressions and emotions in our lives.
6. The ability to love. The uniqueness of a woman lies in her desire and ability to love, give her feelings and take the emotions of her chosen one. How beautiful is the girl in love! Especially when the love is mutual. However, some modern young ladies prefer short-term relationships that do not involve deep feelings.
7. Ability to inspire. Inspiration forces representatives of the stronger half of humanity to write poems and poems, perform feats, and improve themselves. However, only a feminine girl is able to inspire with her figure, voice, love - by any available means. There is an interesting phrase that says that behind every great man there was a great woman.
8. Thrift. The ability to create comfort in a home, maintain a home and the desire to raise a child are qualities inherent in a business woman. However, they are also present in a feminine girl, since both of these characteristics are taken into account by men when choosing a future wife.
9. Moderation. Femininity does not imply the desire to fill all the living space of a guy. Don't forget that a real woman is somewhat inaccessible and mysterious. She is a mystery that a man wants to solve. You should not open up completely at the very beginning of dating, simultaneously demanding the same step from your partner.

Femininity through the eyes of men is a combination of multiple factors. Beautiful figure, romance and softness...

A feminine girl knows how to adequately present herself to her chosen one, turn her own weaknesses into personality strengths, create a warm atmosphere in the family and give emotions to a dear person. Be feminine, it's so beautiful!

A matter of taste and style

In order to become feminine, it is not at all necessary to purchase old-fashioned dresses with crinolines or a shapeless modest robe. The main thing is the sense of taste. Find your style and try to match it, learn to distinguish beautiful things from vulgar ones. Miniskirts may well be present in your wardrobe, and if your legs are long and beautiful, then they simply must be in it. The question is the style of the product, its design and combination with other items of clothing and accessories. High heels and dresses/skirts are really popular with most men, but a lady in ballet shoes can look attractive and cute. Representatives of the opposite sex also hold in high esteem a romantic style of clothing: lace and frills, floral motifs, light fabrics. As the men themselves say: “A woman should look like a woman.”

Pay attention to details

Any representative of the fair sex is interested in what adds femininity to us? Men like well-groomed women. Soft velvety skin without excess hair, neat manicure and pedicure, clean clothes - this is not something special, but a simple indicator of a person’s culture and his respect for himself and others. In order to take care of yourself and always look attractive, it is not necessary to regularly visit beauty salons and spend a lot of money and time on various procedures. It is enough to accustom yourself to regularly take care of yourself and acquire the minimum necessary cosmetics and special accessories for this. Believe me, many effective procedures can be done at home yourself with minimal financial investment.