A friend is a person who is sometimes much closer to the person closest to her. There are times when words of consolation need to be spoken to her. However, not everyone knows what words to say to support her, what format to choose.
This article contains words of support for a friend in difficult times in prose that are suitable for the most difficult moments of life.
Universal
In my own words
* * * I want you to know that even in this moment you are not alone. There are many like you. So many. You just don't know each other. And this confirms the fact that it can be survived! * * * To reach the goal, you must first go. If something happens, it means you are not standing still. This is just an event that happened along the road of life. Nothing just happens. * * * The biggest mistake you can make in life is the constant fear of making mistakes. * * * Life is not suffering. It's just that you suffer from it, instead of living and enjoying it. * * * There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create this well anywhere. * * *
* * * When you feel very bad, raise your head. You will definitely see the sunshine. * * * When you really want something, the whole Universe will help make your wish come true. * * * You can only see what you believe in. Believe it and you will see. * * * To hell with everyone who doesn’t believe in you. Remember once and for all: self-confidence is the main incentive to achieve your goal. * * * If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t achieve anything. Therefore, avoid those who make you doubt your own abilities. * * * Do not waste your thoughts, emotions and feelings on unworthy people. * * * By helping others you improve your own life.
In verse
* * * While we are alive, we can fix everything... Realize everything, repent... Forgive. Do not take revenge on your enemies, do not be disingenuous on your loved ones, bring back the friends that you pushed away... While we are alive, we can look back... See the path from which we left. Having woken up from terrible dreams, push away from the abyss to which you have approached. While we are alive... How many have managed to stop loved ones from leaving? We didn’t have time to forgive them during our lifetime, but we couldn’t ask for forgiveness. When they go into silence, To a place from which there is definitely no return, Sometimes a few minutes are enough to understand - oh God, how guilty we are... And the photo is a black and white movie. Tired eyes - a familiar look. They have already forgiven us a long time ago For being around too rarely, For not calling, not meeting, not being warm. Not faces in front of us, just shadows... And how many times the wrong things were said, And about the wrong things, and with the wrong phrases. A tight pain - the final touch of guilt - Scratching, plaguing the skin with cold. For everything we haven't done for them, They forgive. We ourselves cannot... * * * When a tear drips from pain...
You sit quietly in silence... Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired... Tell yourself in private... I will be happy! Through thick and thin! * * * Yes, everyone is missing something... For some reason the snow is melting quickly, Then the morning comes late, Then there are not enough warm days. There's always something missing. But, living the rest of my days, Suddenly I see that there is no shortage of anything... just not enough years to stop being angry at life and enjoy it. * * * You don’t need to live to get to heaven, but you need to create heaven! Do not slander, do not betray, and do not steal the lives of others. It happens that an atheist, in his conscience, is closer to God than an artist, who is in a cassock for people... Since God is in the heart, then heaven is in the soul! And if it’s dark there, then you won’t be able to get into heaven anyway…
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How to support a person in difficult times: 8 tips from psychologists
When a person feels bad, he wants to feel supported. What can be done to make a loved one feel real help?
- Curb your curiosity. If something happens to friends or family, don’t call them out of curiosity. After all, we often want to know everything down to the smallest detail. But it’s hard enough for people. Why bother them again? No need to call and ask to keep you updated on events. If you want to support, write. They will answer you if they deem it necessary.
- Try to imagine yourself in the place of a person in trouble. Then you will immediately lose the desire to find out all the small details of what happened and give useless advice like: “You need to calm down.” It is clear that it is difficult for a person to return to a stable state. The Irish have a saying that, when translated into Russian, sounds something like this: “If a person is only interested in your story, he is not your friend.” When a person is having a hard time, it is difficult for him to remember small details. Please take this into account.
- Stay nearby. This is very important when your loved ones need warmth and understanding. If possible, it is better to live with him in the same house (apartment). If this is not possible, it is advisable to visit them as often as possible. If not every day, then at least 2-3 times a week. They feel bad and they should feel that someone cares about them and their troubles. There is no need to say stock phrases like: “Everything will be fine.” They are not effective when a person has lost someone or has been diagnosed with a serious illness. Just hug your loved one. Hugs speak louder than words. You can add the phrase “I’m so sorry” to express sympathy.
- Try to help. But let this help be specific. When a person has a difficult situation, he always needs help. The question “Do I need help with something?” inappropriate here. A much better question is how can you help? Most often, a person needs help with housework: cleaning, preparing dinner, taking care of children. If you are able to take on at least some of the responsibilities, do so. This way you will really support him.
- Organize financial assistance. Money is never superfluous, especially in difficult life situations: loss of a job, death of loved ones, serious illness. Therefore, you will be of great help to the person if you organize a collection of money and give him the collected amount. He may be embarrassed to ask for financial help himself, but when he is told that all his friends and relatives have collected money for him, he is unlikely to refuse.
- Don't give advice that won't be useful. People in trouble often hear advice from loved ones like: “You shouldn’t have visited so late,” “You should have taken care of your health.” What happened has already happened. Nothing can be changed. Such recommendations only irritate. It is more correct to recommend something that will have a positive impact on the situation. For example, contacting a good doctor, offering a job if needed.
- Don't give ratings . Why say: “How terrible everything is,” or “God forbid you go through something like this”? With such statements you will only escalate an already difficult situation. A person does not want to hear that his loved ones “will be better there”, or “everything is God’s will.”
- Give up hypotheses and assumptions . What happened, happened. Phrases starting with “if only” are inappropriate here. “If he hadn’t driven in the rain, he would have been alive.” Are you sure that in dry weather the accident would not have happened? The current situation cannot be changed, but compassion and understanding can be shown.
Losing a loved one
Parents
* * * Hold on! In memory of my mother. She wouldn't want to see you in despair. * * * The death of the closest person is an irreparable grief. I understand how difficult it is for you. Be strong in spirit. * * * The bright memory of her is forever in our hearts. She was a good person, you need to continue to carry out her mission. * * * We sincerely mourn and sympathize with you at this bitter moment. * * * We will carry the bright and kind memory of him throughout our lives.
child
* * * Accept my condolences! There has never been anything more expensive or closer than him and there never will be. But in yours and in our hearts he will remain a young, strong, full of life man. Everlasting memory! Hold on!
* * * My condolences to you! You need to find the strength to survive these most difficult moments and difficult days. In our memory he will remain forever a good person! * * * Let me express my most sincere condolences on the occasion of this severe, irreparable loss! * * * For all of us, he will remain an example of love of life. And may his love for life illuminate the emptiness and grief of loss for you, and help you survive the time of farewell. We mourn with you in difficult times and will remember him forever! * * * It is very bitter to lose loved ones and relatives, but it is doubly difficult when the young, beautiful and strong leave us. May God rest his soul! * * * I would like to find words to somehow ease your pain, but are there such words on earth at all? Hold on for the sake of blessed memory. Everlasting memory!
Husband/wife
* * * Love does not die, the memory of it will always illuminate your heart. Just believe it! * * * A loved one does not die, but simply ceases to be around. In your memory, in your soul, your love will be eternal! Be strong! * * * The past cannot be returned, but the bright memory of this love will remain with you for the rest of your life. Be strong! * * * I mourn with you at this difficult moment. But for the sake of the children, for the sake of loved ones, we need to get through these sorrowful days. Invisibly, he will always be there - in the soul and in our eternal memory of this bright man.
Relatives
* * * My condolences! It hurts to think about it, it's hard to talk about. I sympathize with your pain! Everlasting memory! * * * It’s little consolation, but know that we are with you in the grief of loss and sincerely sympathize with your entire family! Everlasting memory! * * * Please accept my sincere condolences! What a man! Just as she lived modestly and quietly, she left humbly, as if a candle had gone out. May she rest in heaven!
Friends
* * * I know he meant a lot to you. They say that heaven takes the best. Let's believe in it and pray for his soul! * * * You were like sisters, I understand your feelings. I want to share this grief with you. How can I help you? You can always count on my support. * * * He was a good man. I understand how difficult it is for you now. Time heals wounds, you must be strong for your best friend. he wouldn't want you to become limp. * * * I am very sorry that this happened. I'm truly sorry! You hold on. Your friend is looking at you from the sky. Make him proud of you. For the sake of your friendship.
When people need support
You can bring a friend, relative or just a stranger to your senses in a difficult moment both with words of support and real actions, such as, for example, collecting money, helping with housework, looking after children.
According to statistics, 78% of people facing difficulties in life turn to friends for support. At such a moment, they can only choose words of support that will relieve depression, give life new meaning, and suggest solutions to problems. They are necessary in the following cases:
- Death of a relative. As a result of this event, people experience extreme stress, loss of strength, disappointment in fate, and sometimes develop mental disorders.
- Serious illness. For a person with poor health, in moments of trial, it is important not to lose the desire to live, not to give in to despair or thoughts of hopelessness. It is not for nothing that in hospitals where complex patients are treated, there is support from psychologists. They help to find an incentive to fight the disease, hope for the best, and live a full life.
- Difficulties in life (personal, financial, domestic), for example, dismissal from work, separation from a loved one, loss of housing.
Words of support in a moment of despair will not solve the problem, but in most cases they help the sufferer to stop in time so as not to ruin himself with bad habits, not to go crazy, and not even commit suicide.
Disease
Addressee
* * * God does not send such trials to man that he cannot survive. This means you can and will definitely cope with this. I believe! * * * Listen to the advice of doctors and take care of yourself. For the sake of a happy future and people who care about you. * * * I'm sorry about what happened. Remember, you can always count on me. * * * The soul would not have a rainbow if the eyes did not have tears. You can handle it. * * * Everything will be fine. You will get better and life will be filled with bright colors, remember: after a black stripe there is always a white one! * * * Believe in your recovery, because a good mood and optimism can play an important role. Everything will be fine! It cannot be otherwise! * * * It may be bad now, but then everything will be fine. Everything will change and the pain will go away. God will give you the strength to endure everything, don’t lose hope, hold on. * * * Think about the good, believe in recovery, do not succumb to the disease, fight! It's difficult, but you have to stick with it! We love you and believe that together we will definitely overcome the disease.
Recipient's loved one
* * * He (she) will definitely recover, you just need to believe and not lose hope. * * * Everything will be fine! We are always there. If you need help, please contact us. * * * Think only about the good! The illness will pass, he (she) will recover. It won't always be bad. You just have to wait. * * * We will pray for him (her), and you hold on! * * * God does not send trials that a person cannot survive. And she can do it! We are sure of it! If you need our help, please contact us. Let's do our best and everything will work out!
Don't make things worse with inappropriate phrases
People who are in trouble themselves know perfectly well the cause. So, with the words “you shouldn’t have done that” or “it would have been better if you had done it differently”, you can not reassure a loved one in a difficult moment, but turn him against you.
Attention! Advice should be useful and constructive. For example, tell a friend (relative) the number of a good doctor or lawyer, rather than talk about how great it would be to find a great specialist.
But people don’t always need advice and actions in difficult times. Sometimes they need purely psychological support. Not everyone experiences the same things, for example, leaving a job or divorce, so your task is to suggest how to approach this situation correctly.
Treason
husband
* * * Everything in life is for the better, only we understand this over time. The pain will subside, and you will look at the world with different eyes. And then there will be much more worthy people nearby! * * * Darling, everything will pass, everything will work out. I know you are a strong woman, you can handle this. He turned out to be unworthy of you. Find the strength to survive this pain. And believe me, all good things are ahead! * * * Everything will be alright. You are a self-sufficient and smart woman. Collect the pain into a fist and throw it away along with all the memories. * * * Start your life with a clean slate, don’t think about the past. This can be learned. You can do it!
If a close friend has a similar situation, for example, find out and help her with practical advice.
Wives
* * * A woman does not cheat with her body, she cheats with her soul - remember these words. Why do you need a person who betrayed you? Find the strength to survive this with dignity. And the faster you do this, the faster something good will come knocking in life. * * * When leaving, you need to leave! Find the strength not to return to the place where you were once betrayed. If you need moral support, you can always contact me. I think you deserve better treatment! * * * Respect yourself and understand that you are not on the same path with this person. She doesn't deserve respect. Forgive her, let her go and make room next to you for a more worthy woman.
Find out and help the man make the right decision.
guy
Life filters people who are not worthy of you. Be grateful to the higher powers that they take care of you and remove from your life those who will not make you happy. It's difficult for you right now, that's normal. But over time you will be convinced that everything is only for the better. * * * Don’t be upset, this is not the last man on Earth. * * * He doesn’t deserve your suffering, be strong. * * * You are beautiful, interesting and smart, so therefore you are not in danger of loneliness. * * * I will always support you, you deserve better. Remember this, and don't humiliate yourself.
Girls
* * * Consider that in this way, forces from above filter people you don’t need. Head higher and forward, the light did not converge on it like a wedge. * * * You are a strong guy, you will be able to erase her from your life. I will always support you! * * * You are a good guy, it’s her own fault that she didn’t value you. * * * Everything will be fine, the girls will hang themselves on your neck, you’re a macho!
In verse
* * * How people’s lives filter. Have you noticed? But she is smarter and wiser, Yesterday we slept in the same bed, Today she is not even among friends. * * * In someone else’s glass, the mash is stronger. Someone else's wife has bigger breasts. When we are half a step away from the abyss, our loved ones no longer need us. I realized one of the truths is that a pig will find dirt everywhere. There aren't enough bullets to shoot at the rats that are running away from the ship.
To the one who changed
* * * Don't blame yourself for what happened. It is human nature to make mistakes. Let this mistake teach you a great lesson: every sunset is the beginning of a new, bright dawn. * * * I don’t blame you, and I don’t support you. After this you didn't become a bad person, you just made a mistake. Don't try to fix the problem, try to fix your thoughts, and then, I'm sure, the problem will solve itself. * * * You won't be able to forget this. But you can stop blaming yourself, and then you will think about it less often. * * * There are reasons for everything, and I’m sure you had them too. Do not blame yourself. The one who really cares about you will not reject you even after what happened, and will give you the opportunity to explain. The important thing is that you sincerely regret it and have made the right conclusions. There are many examples in the world where, after betrayal, people really begin to appreciate each other and are more afraid of losing than those who remain faithful. The first ones faced the problem head-on and can assess all the risks. I wish everything gets better!
Betrayal
Friend
* * * A person who betrayed love can find an excuse, but a person who betrayed friendship cannot! Draw the right conclusions and learn to live without this person. * * * Pull yourself together and understand that a true friend could not do this to you! Dry your tears and start singing! * * * They say that true friends cannot be replaced, your friends easily replaced you. The conclusion is that there were no “real” ones. Everything is ahead, believe me!
* * * I wonder what your former best friends are doing now, probably talking bad things about you to the people they used to say bad things about. You don't need people like that. You are better, and communicate with the best!
Colleagues
* * * Life provides us with experience in the form of communication with different people. Seasoned and not so, good or bad. Learn from this and move on with your life. Now you are one situation more experienced! And that's a plus! * * * Let this only be a good lesson for you, and not suffering. Draw conclusions about this person and communicate with him only about work. * * * The main thing is to remain human in this situation, do not act out of spite. * * * Don't stoop to someone else's level, and don't let other people drag you down.
Relatives
* * * You will now calm down, because you have already been given the full measure of our sincere sympathy. And now there is no time to cry, the matter is waiting. * * * I understand that it’s hard to realize his betrayal, but now you see who surrounds you. And you can change this by communicating only with the worthy.
How to comfort someone: phrases you shouldn’t say
Sometimes “comforting” words have exactly the opposite effect. Therefore , before you start consoling your family or friends, you need to think more than once. Sometimes, when looking for how to support a friend, we make big mistakes.
Here are some bad phrases. The most common of them, “Everything will be fine,” is not suitable for consolation. How do you know what will happen? You don't have clairvoyance.
You shouldn’t ask the routine question “Are you okay?” How can a person be okay when he has troubles or grief? The question is simply inappropriate and is more likely to cause aggression or irritation.
It’s even worse if you say to a person in trouble: “This is just a nightmare!”, “This is so terrible! " What can such words cause, besides negative emotions?
Words like be strong, take heart, pull yourself together will not console a person either. How can he be courageous if he is in grief and everything is falling out of his hands? He needs to speak out, talk about his problems, difficulties, pain.
If you say something like: “Calm down, it’s not the end of the world ,” this means that you are devaluing the emotions of your interlocutor. If they don’t mean anything to you, then maybe the person himself is not important?
“You know, I had a worse situation” - this phrase can strike the interlocutor on the spot. Yes, you may have experienced a truly worse situation. But this doesn't matter to your friend. He needs not comparisons, but consolation and help.
Situations vary. But to the person to whom “this” happened, it really seems like the end of the world has come. Even if everything doesn’t look so terrible from the outside, you must be able to show empathy and support your friends and loved ones.
Dismissal
In your own words
* * * Every finish is the start of something completely new. Everything will be as it should be. Even if it turns out differently. * * * I understand how difficult it is for you now. But hold on, you are strong, you will succeed. * * * If you want to discuss something, you can always count on me. * * * Everything will definitely be fine. Everything will end well, and if it’s not good yet, then it’s not the end. * * * You are a good worker, you still have everything ahead of you! * * * Everything will work out, you will find your dream job, most importantly, take care of your health. * * * I can’t go through this for you. But I can live through this with you. And together we can do everything. * * * Chaos and troubles precede great changes - remember this. * * * Most likely, the problem will not disappear in 24 hours. But in 24 hours your attitude towards this problem can change. Let's change this together. You can always count on my help.
In verse
* * * “She has no chance,” circumstances declared loudly. “She’s a loser,” people shouted. “She will succeed,” God said quietly. * * * You will win - I know for sure. You will get through everything - I believe in it. And you will not be bent or broken by blows and losses. Let it be smooth only on paper - Although there are many trials, You will overcome them all step by step! Through thick and thin!
Accident
In your own words
* * * Honey, you will get better and soon we will be running to discos :) * * * Everything will be fine, it’s no one’s fault that this happened! * * * The Guardian Angel protects you, because he gave you a chance to live. * * * Nothing terrible happened, everyone is alive, and this is the most important thing. * * * I’ll come to you for tea, bring cookies and heal you :)
In verse
People, cherish every day, Cherish every minute. We only live once on earth, Rejoice, morning has come again!
God gave life and blessed us, so that we could walk the righteous path. It’s not in vain that He instilled a soul in us, To ask later, beyond that threshold.
We must live, love, help each other, it cannot be otherwise. And for this - God's grace, And you will become richer spiritually.
The years will fly by unnoticed, Rejoice and enjoy life! Don’t be stingy with kind words, make everyone happy and smile more often!
Animal death
Briefly in your own words
* * * Sorry. It's like losing a loved one. I understand you. Everything will be fine, hang in there. * * * Just believe that your dog is there, invisibly nearby. * * * I understand how you feel, time will pass and you will feel better. * * * You've had worse situations. And nothing, you did it! And you can handle it, I’m sure! * * * Everything will be fine! We will get through this together. * * * I see how dear he was to you, but continue to live.
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Find out and help a person who is feeling bad. For him, this is the same as losing a loved one.
Depressed
In your own words
* * * Take my word for it that there is something to live for. You're just closed to it now. Time will pass, and life will gain color. Believe me, faith will help this fact happen faster. * * * Remember, it won’t always be like this. We'll still laugh out of this together. * * * Life is not suffering. It's just that you suffer from it, instead of living and enjoying it. Remember this whenever sadness wants to take over you. * * * Most people are as happy as they allow themselves to be. Give yourself permission to be happy.
In verse
Or maybe just get up on the other foot, And instead of coffee, take and drink juice... And turn your usual steps In the direction where it will be more useful...
And on this day, do everything wrong: Put numbers from end to beginning, And fill the most insignificant trifle with good and high meaning.
And do something that no one expects, And laugh where you cried so much, And the feeling of hopelessness will pass, And the sun will rise where the rain was dripping.
From the circle created by fate, Take it and jump out at the unknown station... You will be surprised - the world is completely different, And life is more unexpected and more interesting.
Stay close
Most people in a sad moment are afraid to be left alone, without support. They are scared of the prospect of failing the test, so you must demonstrate your presence and support. It takes time to survive the shock and mental anguish in a difficult moment, and the more people are nearby, the faster the confusion and anxiety passes.
Words of encouragement here have a fatal meaning. A radiant smile and an empty phrase “everything will be fine” in a sad moment are not appropriate, they only repel the interlocutor. Be realistic: there are situations that cannot end positively. This is exactly the outcome that your support should help you survive.
Motivating
In your own words
* * * The fate of a person who sits still does not move. Go for it, I believe in you! * * * You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can always raise the sails to achieve your goal. * * * There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create it well anywhere... * * * Remember that when you really want something, the whole Universe will help make your wish come true.
In verse
Look into your eyes again. Fly forward again. You can't just go back. Everything that has passed does not count.
And it's easy to let go. Believe: movement is life. The past is far away, Just don't look back!
To my beloved girlfriend/wife
In your own words
* * * My beloved, everything will be fine, you are strong! I'm always there, remember that! * * * Honey, you can always rely on me! * * * Remember: we invent our own problems, obstacles, complexes and frameworks. Free yourself - breathe life and realize that you can do anything. I love you and that's all that matters. * * * You are the best woman for me in the whole world, remember that. Smile and never be sour.
* * * Darling, there will always be people who will hurt you. You need to continue to trust people, just be a little more careful. * * * The secret of happiness, my dear, is to enjoy every little thing and not be upset by every stupid thing. * * * You are the best man in the world. And for the best, everything will be fine. You just need to be patient a little. Remember - sugar is at the bottom. In the meantime, you have me, and we can handle it.
In verse
* * * If only, darling, I could, In a moment when it’s so hard for you, I could put two wings under your tired wing. If only I could clear the clouds over you, so that you would forget all the worries of the day and peace would return again. It's a pity, but I'm just a woman - not God, I'm with you in my heart, and you hold on. So that you can withstand the storm, I pray quietly for your life. * * * Who is it that hangs his nose so low? Who is sad for no apparent reason? I want you to be cheerful again, don’t come up with stupid things! Let your mood soar, Look at the colors in life again! Happiness awaits ahead, Well, quickly give me a smile! * * *
There is no point at any point.
And a glass for success ahead.
Is it possible to calm down with words?
In fact, it’s not difficult to intuitively feel what phrases to choose to support in a moment of despondency. Of course, their effectiveness increases with close contact, but even if you are far from the person in need of support, there is a chance to reach his consciousness through correspondence.
This can be done with something like this: “I’m glad you came to me for support. Unfortunately, I’m not aware of everything that happened, but I’m always ready to listen to you.” Here we kill three birds with one stone: we make it clear that we are ready to help in difficult times, we find out why a person is depressed, we tell him about our feelings.
If your interlocutor does not open up to you, take it calmly. Not everyone is ready to open up, especially people who are ashamed of their stupidity or humiliation. Also, many are afraid of reading notations, which is also expected of you. In this case, it’s better to say this: “I can’t leave you in this state, but I’m not going to lecture you either. Just tell me what you think is necessary, in general terms, and perhaps I can help.”
Carefully evaluate your interlocutor’s experiences, highlight his best qualities, and if necessary, tell him how to cope with difficulties. When you find out the essence of what happened, say something like this: “The situation is really complicated. But you’re good for not getting discouraged and not paying attention to gossip. Already know what to do next? If I were in your place, I would do...”
Important! There are no templates at work here. You can only guess possible actions, depending on the circumstances.
To a friend
In your own words
* * * This world is yours, just always remain yourself! * * * Remember that you will remain a winner in any situation. * * * Any problem must be met with a smile. The problem will think that you are stupid and will run away :) * * * Tomorrow the one who reads this SMS will find his happiness :) * * * Until tomorrow comes, you will not understand how good you had today. Therefore, believe in the best and don’t give up. You are the best friend in the world! * * * You, the best and most faithful friend, I am very glad that I have you.
In verse
* * * When a tear drips from pain... When the heart beats from fear... When the soul hides from the light... When life is torn apart from grief... You sit quietly in silence... Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired... Tell yourself in private... I will happy! Through thick and thin! * * * Each of us has a breaking point, When our hearts become heavy, When it seems to us that we are falling off a cliff, And life becomes like a black spot... Each of us has a ray of hope, And someone very close and dear He won’t let you fall into the abyss, And he will say: “Don’t be afraid, I’m with you!” * * * Smile! There is no place for sadness in such a beautiful and young soul. After all, to be honest, there is no point in us being sad at any point. Every day is filled with new happiness, And a glass to the success ahead. You are capable of a lot in life, just believe, don’t give up and wait!
To the military
In your own words
* * * You are doing a great job - protecting your homeland! You are strong, may your guardian angel always be by your side! * * * I am proud of you, you are my protector! I am warmed by the thought that we will meet soon and be together. * * * Darling, you are strong, you can handle it! Remember that my thoughts are always with you! We will meet soon, remember that. * * * For me, a military man is an example of courage and strength. Therefore, you have no right to give up; life has awarded you a worthy position, which is already in your blood. I believe in you! You are the best!
In verse
* * * Forget everything, don’t fall low. Be brave, rejoice, dream. Don’t take everything too personally, and don’t take it at all. Words are just someone's opinion, They don't mean anything. Be strong in battle, and change your decisions at the call of your heart. * * * There were problems, there are and there will be, There is no need to suffer because of them, There are films, books, people around - There will be something to occupy yourself with. Learn to learn from mistakes (Of course, it’s better to make others’ mistakes). And don’t be ashamed of your full bumps, Life is like that, where would you be without them? Be a positive person, Love people, love yourself, Fill your life with cheerful laughter, Take a deep breath and...live! * * * Our whole life is just one moment, Dependent on us. And from diapers to wrinkles there is a bridge as long as “now”. And we, then remember about Yesterday, Then we want to wait for Tomorrow... But heaven has its own game... Seven rules and reasons. Live without violating them, To save your soul. When the war ends, they will begin to appreciate you... There is no need to look for logic, After all, you may not have time to kiss your loved ones, And sing the song of your heart...
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Any friendship sooner or later has to undergo a test of strength. And often the most important test comes when one of your friends needs help. But sometimes it’s so difficult to find the right words of support...
The reason can be anything! A friend fell hopelessly in love or, conversely, broke up with her boyfriend. She's in trouble at school or has had a big fight with her parents. In the end, she just has the blues and seasonal depression. Can you support her and really help her? What is the right thing to do in this situation and find words of support for your friend?
How to support a person from a distance: 3 ways to be close
Relatives and friends sometimes find themselves at a great distance from us and it is not always possible to come to them to console them. But there is a mobile phone, instant messengers, social networks where it is easy to express your support and understanding.
- Phone conversation . Although messengers have recently been replacing regular telephone conversations, it is still good to resort to them when you are at a long distance and the connection is failing. Warm words, a familiar voice, a calm tone of conversation will give strength and faith to anyone.
- Emails and social networks . You can’t say everything over the phone and not always, but you can write much more in a letter. In it you can not only say words of support, but also say what you think about the current situation and give advice. Communication on VK, Facebook and other social networks will also help.
- Messengers . Telegram, Whatsapp, Viber made fast communication possible. You can quickly write a message, make a call, or send a short recording of your voice. Sometimes a simple emoticon is enough for a person to understand that he is not alone in his grief.
When you see that a friend or relative needs your presence, you can make a video call. Skype will be very helpful in this case. A conversation on Skype will give your friend or relative the effect of your presence, which is extremely important for him. Also tell him that he can come at any time and that you are ready to support him.
Listen
Learn to listen without interrupting. It is very important for an upset person to talk about the problem in detail. Try not to be skeptical, even if you think her problems are trivial. What is completely unimportant for you may be fundamental for her. Everyone has their own value system, so imagine yourself in her place - with her character traits and attitude to the world. Your attentive attitude to her situation is in itself important to her.
Don't discount your friend's feelings. If she's worried, it means it's really important to her.
Be tactful
The curiosity inherent in everyone forces us to find out from loved ones the details of their misfortunes. But imagine that you were in the shoes of another person in difficult times. Would you enjoy the questions? Hardly. Therefore, there is no need to bother someone who is worried with your support. Show your participation with an SMS message or one call offering support. In a moment of depression, this will be enough for him. If a person deems it necessary, he will contact you.
It is extremely difficult for the sufferer to relive unpleasant moments; for him they are like “salt in the wound.” If he wishes, he will tell you everything himself and ask for support.
Help me find the right way out
Every problem must have a way out. Discuss different scenarios and think about how you can influence them. One head it's good, but two better. Perhaps the upset girlfriend simply hasn’t thought about what to do yet. Your task is to let her understand that she needs to think about further steps and look for a way out of the current situation, and not sit, shedding tears over something that cannot be changed. How can I do that:
- Take a piece of paper and write down the essence of the problem.
- Now write down all the pros and cons of what happened (more attention, of course, needs to be paid to the pros).
- Write down what can be done to improve the situation.
Once you have a clear plan, there will be no point in worrying.
Bring the situation to the point of absurdity
If you feel that your friend is ready for jokes, you can use this psychological technique: inflate the situation to the point of absurdity so that it stops seeming so terrible. For example, a friend broke up with her boyfriend and is very worried. Tell her: “My friend’s cat just gave birth to kittens, although there are only 4 of them, but that’s okay, gradually we will be able to find more. So what to do?! After all, you are already 13 years old! It's too late to start a new relationship! The only option is to have 40 cats and not think about relationships anymore.” If your friend appreciates humor, she will smile and cheer up a little. Well, if not, look for other options.
Judge not and you will not be judged
Even first-year psychology students know that judging people in their moments of unhappiness is a big mistake. It’s a pity that the grandmothers on the benches at the entrance are unaware of this. In difficult times, evaluative words can discourage the victim and deprive him of hope. Sometimes this leads to irreparable consequences, including crimes, suicides, and exacerbation of chronic diseases. Therefore, you should not say words like “how could she”, “they are still completely immature” and the like. If you cannot show sympathy and support, it is better to just remain silent.
Distract yourself with something pleasant and interesting
In addition to the problem that worries her friend, there are other sides to life. Figure out how to distract her and redirect her attention to positive events:
- Take her out to meet old friends.
- Have a pajama party.
- Take her to the cinema to see a comedy.
- Go shopping together for some beautiful new clothes.
- Sign up together for some cool section that will be interesting to both of you.
- Find out what interesting events are taking place in your city, and be sure to take a friend to them.
- Give your friend a new hobby.
Remember, any means are good to distract her.
Be lenient
Grief often leads to depression, which lasts not minutes, but sometimes years. Because of it, in moments of weakness, we stop paying attention to our appearance, begin to get irritated, and splash out negativity on others. If your friend or relative behaves this way, do not rush to condemn him. He simply cannot control his emotions in moments of mental trauma. Try to find words of support for a man or woman in difficult times, give him (her) time to calm his nerves. If they don't come to your mind, just be there silently. Believe me, this is also support.
