Any relationship in a couple develops according to a unique scenario, but in the “code of love” there are a number of certain rules that have passed the test of generations. If a man wants to win the heart of his chosen one, he must know how to care for a girl. Then a romantic relationship is much more likely to develop into a great and bright feeling.
General rules
The ritual of courting a woman is a whole chain of traditions built over many centuries. Today, the topic of properly paying attention is actively discussed by representatives of the stronger sex. This is not surprising, because there are a variety of ways to attract attention and arouse the interest of the object of affection. However, it is important for men to approach this topic with extreme caution and sensitivity. You need to be able to beautifully design your every step.
When you think about how to start caring for a girl, simple and banal things immediately come to mind. It could be:
- gifted bouquet;
- the door opened in time for the chosen one;
- giving your hand when getting out of the car.
Of course, all this is of great importance, but do not forget about other ways to arouse interest in yourself. If a man dreams of a girl reciprocating his feelings, he must try hard to imprint the most pleasant memories in her head.
Representatives of the fairer sex love to accept help. It can often seem like they can easily do everything themselves. However, even the strongest lady still needs a knight who could protect her from all troubles and instill confidence in the future. It is important for a woman that she feels safe next to her chosen one. So, during courtship, it will be useful to show concern not only for the girl, but also for those around her.
For example, you can attract the attention of your loved one by helping an old woman or feeding a stray animal. Such actions can be a wonderful foundation for further communication.
What not to do
Knowing how to care for a woman, you are still not protected from typical mistakes that are inherent in men. Therefore, we bring to your attention some “harmful tips” on what not to do:
- be annoying - you don’t need to make her think about you all the time, don’t overwhelm her with dozens of calls and messages per minute, otherwise you will start to irritate her;
- buy her attention - valuable gifts require good reasons and close relationships, an adequate girl will not accept a diamond ring on the second date, since she is not yet completely sure that you are suitable for her;
- follow the “pickup” skill - using other people’s ideas on how to seduce a girl, you can look stupid and ridiculous;
- the need to do what you don’t want - don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, don’t force yourself to act to your detriment, the effect will be the opposite;
- be rude to refusal - even with ideal courtship, be prepared for refusal, she has the right to choose, try to maintain composure.
Expert opinion
Elena Druzhnikova
Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.
Any actions must come from the heart, otherwise, being not yourself, sooner or later you will be disappointed in each other. You will get tired of pretending to be something other than who you are, and she will see a change in your behavior.
First date
When setting up a first date, you should choose neutral territory. A man is advised to think in advance where it is best to invite his chosen one. It is advisable to offer the girl several places and leave her the right to choose. Finding out what exactly she likes is very simple. For example, during a telephone conversation, you can casually ask whether she likes watching films and what genres she prefers. Psychologists also advise listening to the following recommendations:
- When allowing your chosen one to choose the place of the date, it is important to make sure that she does not think that the guy is indecisive. Women like men who clearly know what they need. For example, the question “What can you offer?” is likely to cause irritation. It is better to avoid such formulations. You should take the initiative into your own hands.
- Not a single representative of the fair sex likes greedy guys, so situations should not be allowed in which the girl would have to pay the price herself. If a man has problems with money, it is better to take his chosen one to a place where there is an opportunity to spend time for free.
- It is advisable to think in advance about the topics that you can talk about on a date. It is important to give the impression of an interesting interlocutor. You shouldn’t chat incessantly; you need to give the girl the opportunity to tell something too. Listening carefully to a woman, you should ask her leading questions from time to time so that she can see that the man is really interested in her.
- At the end of the date, it is important not to forget to walk the girl home. You shouldn’t invite her to your place or ask her to visit. As a last resort, you can call a taxi and pay for the trip. Of course, after this you need to call her and make sure everything is okay.
- On the first date, you should never start a conversation about sex or hint at intimacy. As a rule, when intimacy occurs too quickly, the relationship turns out to be short-lived. If you don’t want to run away quickly, it’s better not to rush things.
Determining the type of man
First of all, it is necessary to determine the type of man. Give an answer to the question: who exactly is he? There are womanizers, family men, quiet people, infantile and other types. Each such man has developed a specific model of relationship with a girl since childhood. Most often, such a model of relationships was laid down by parents. After all, who, if not the parents, should the child take as an example? It seems like it was a long time ago, but childhood memories greatly influence our adult lives.
In order to understand what a man is like, just look at his parents. And especially his father. If the father still lives with the guy’s mother in a happy marriage, then this is exactly what you can expect from your chosen one. But if the father has long divorced his mother and changes women very often, then one can hardly expect anything different from his son.
Although in fairness it must be said that exceptions also occur.
Read more: 12 signs your relationship is getting serious
The art of compliments
If you want to learn how to beautifully care for your chosen one, it is important to understand how to give compliments correctly. Women love with their ears, so you should pay special attention to this topic. Experts in the field of relationship psychology say that compliments should be:
- Sincere. If a woman has done a hairstyle that doesn’t suit her at all, you shouldn’t tell her that she looks great and praise her new look in every possible way, she will guess that the man is lying.
- Specific. It is not recommended to give general compliments. For example, instead of “How good you look today,” it is better to focus on the shape of your lips, eye color, beautiful hair or stylish shoes.
- Not vulgar. In the first stages of developing a relationship, you should avoid language such as “great breasts,” “appetizing ass,” or “sexy lips.” Such phrases can only be used at a certain stage of rapprochement, when the girl considers her boyfriend to be her own person. However, some ladies, in principle, do not accept such compliments and do not perceive them even in a humorous form. When planning to say something like this to your loved one, it is important to be careful, as you may get an unexpected reaction in response.
You should not give compliments that imply comparing your beloved with some celebrity. When caring for a girl, it is important to remember the so-called golden mean. Women do not like sugary compliments and undisguised flattery.
Face
If you want to look respectable and presentable, keep your face clean. Skin needs the same care as internal organs, muscles and bones. Here are some skin care tips:
- Buy a cleanser - a special facial soap, toner. There will be no dirt left on your face.
- Use cleanser once a day. If you do this more often, the skin will be dry.
- Don't wash your face with hot water. Use warm or cold. Hot water dries the skin and increases sebum secretion.
- Skin can be dry due to nature or improper care. A moisturizer will help. No, the cream is not for girls. It will make you feel better.
To choose the right care product, find out your skin type. It can be dry, oily, combination or normal. Keep this in mind, the store will help you.
Signs of attention
During courtship, a girl should feel many emotions, but this does not mean that you need to fill all her space with yourself. It is important to let your chosen one do her own thing so that she has time to get bored. There are several points that are of great importance during the courtship period:
- Beauty. It is necessary to choose the most beautiful places for meetings that will allow a woman to experience real aesthetic pleasure.
- Good manners. It is important to remember to be polite and be gallant. And not only with the chosen one, but also with the people around her.
- Diversity. Psychologists recommend inviting a woman to places that are different from each other.
- Fullness. Communication should be interesting. If a man thinks through the route in advance and prepares an interesting story, perhaps he will be able to surprise his companion and impress her.
- Regularity. Sometimes, after several dates, guys deliberately disappear, believing that this will make the girl fall in love. However, it is better not to do this; such behavior can alert the chosen one. Perhaps she will decide that a man spends time with her only when he is bored.
Each representative of the fairer sex is unique and has its own unique inner world. There is no point in fitting all the ladies into one line. Instead of comparing a woman to his ex, it is better for a man to pay attention to her positive qualities and think about why he singled her out from the crowd. When communicating with a girl, it is important to be attentive, notice the tastes and preferences of your companion and base your courtship on this information. Then success will definitely be guaranteed.
Courtship in a relationship
When the candy-bouquet period passes, a new period of rubbing in and interaction will begin. Sometimes men believe that at this stage of relationship development there is no particular need for signs of attention, and do not understand why they should continue courtship, but this is a huge mistake. You should not think that if a woman is conquered, you can completely relax. This approach is fundamentally wrong. Representatives of the fair sex always need male attention. If they stop receiving it, the relationship can become meaningless. For girls, the regular physical presence of a significant other is extremely important.
When a woman feels cared for, she stresses herself out less and feels inner peace. If a man is nearby, the girl believes that she is the only one, her self-esteem rises, her attitude towards her chosen one becomes warmer, she does not want to throw hysterics and does not ask unnecessary questions.
If the first stage of the relationship has passed, it is important for a man not to forget to give the girl pleasant surprises and pamper her with “goodies.” Perhaps she wants to go for a walk with her chosen one more often, or she lacks tenderness and romance. You need to ask your beloved how her day went , what interesting happened, and whether she needs advice. You can show your concern by asking your chosen one if everything is enough. A man who makes sure a woman dresses for the weather seems caring and reliable.
If a couple lives together, sometimes you should arrange unplanned trips to a restaurant or a movie; such things will definitely not be superfluous. A man should tell a girl more often how beautiful she is and how much he loves her. If a woman is always sure that she is desired, she will not want to look for attention on the side.
You can flirt with your chosen one even after 10 years of married life. You should definitely praise the girl and notice her experiments with her appearance. After all, representatives of the fair sex perform any cosmetic procedures only to please their man.
It is important to give the chosen one those gifts that correspond to her inner world. A woman will be much more delighted by a surprise that matches her life values. In order not to make a mistake with a present, you can consult with your beloved friend. You just need to choose a reliable friend who definitely wishes the best for your other half.
Defining our goal
But having decided on the type of man and his possible goals, you can set your own goals. A very big mistake girls make at this stage is imposing a certain type of relationship on those guys for whom this type is not suitable. What does this mean?
You should not try to make an exemplary family man out of a womanizer. People do not change. Even if they smiled at you and nodded their head, this does not mean that there is not a completely different current behind your back.
Don't try to make a homebody out of a reveler. Girls hope that men change. Answer the question: are you ready to change and accept a man’s lifestyle? Surely noisy companies will not suit your taste. So, your boring family life will not be to the taste of those who like to take a walk.
If you turn a blind eye to such obvious facts at the very beginning of a relationship, you can end up with a broken family. It seems that everything is as simple as shelling pears, but practice shows that when making the most important decisions, people are not so inclined to use their brains.
But if you need a short and stormy relationship, a kind of holiday romance, then it is quite possible to respond to the advances of such a joker. Here you can have a romance without a resort. But it is important that the romance does not turn into something more. Otherwise, further awareness of simple truths will lead to severe depression.
Read more: How to change your life
Long distance relationship
It often happens that a loved one is at a great distance. Some are sure that such relationships have no chance of success, but they can still be maintained and developed.
If you and your significant other are separated by kilometers, it is important to constantly stay in touch and occupy an important place in each other's daily lives. You can defy distance and still do things at the same time. So, you can, for example, watch the same movie, play a game, enjoy reading a book, or cook dinner.
To maintain an emotional connection, you need to communicate using all kinds of ways. You don't have to talk on the phone all day and night. For example, you can exchange short messages via instant messengers, discussing minor victories and troubles. But you should approach writing emails more thoroughly. The girl must understand that the man took the time to compose a long and thoughtful text.
While you are at a distance from your significant other, you can send her flowers or a card. Of course, it is important to remember common significant dates. In order not to forget about them, it is better to set appropriate reminders on your phone. Don't be sad if the meeting doesn't take place soon. Long-distance relationships also have their advantages, for example, you can spend more time with friends or family.
Thus, caring for a girl means making her world better and more colorful. In this man, proven methods and, of course, his own imagination will come to the rescue. When showing attention, it is very important to be careful and respect the personal space of the chosen one, giving her the opportunity to mind her own business.
Diversity
Cafes, cinema, clubs and walks are the main activities of modern youth. And if you wander the streets and sit in food establishments every day, you will quickly get bored. How to be?
Not every person can afford regular trips abroad, visits to expensive establishments and too dynamic sports. It's too expensive! However, a little romance and fresh ideas will always help people diversify their leisure time.
The most banal places can become new if you try to look at them differently. When a café has special meaning and a favorite street means a lot to a couple, it turns a walk into a visit to the places of your own love story. Even the grayest cities will fall under the power of love and creativity. There is nothing that cannot have a positive connotation. The main thing is to learn to combine your feelings and certain places in the city that mean a lot to lovers.