How to support a girl in difficult times, when she feels bad and needs support


Life is not all happy days, and we all get upset from time to time. Regardless of whether this happened for a serious reason or because of trifles, these feelings are extremely important to us, and it is very difficult to remain without support and help at a time of sadness.

Attention! This will be doubly difficult for girls, who are known to be more emotional than men and more often show their sadness and bad mood.

But, faced with female sadness and especially tears, many men are lost and do not know how to console their beloved.

So how can you calm a girl down and not make things worse?

No need to be sad, let's laugh

You can support your loved one in difficult times with SMS and playful, humorous content to cheer her up:

  1. Look at your salary - isn’t it fun?
  2. The boss who can ruin this evening by candlelight has not yet been born.
  3. Life is a struggle, today we will meet in the ring.
  4. To mope is to amuse your enemies; you have to do something.
  5. Don't be sad, you don't need extra wrinkles, do you?
  6. The whole world is a mess, but we are not like that.
  7. Call your friend, she knows exactly whose face to soap.
  8. The main thing is that you know that you are zykansky, and they are trashy.
  9. All the dark thoughts are only in your head, you need to somehow turn it off tonight - I bought your favorite whiskey.
  10. “There’s noise around, so be it, don’t make a fuss, everything’s fine.”
  11. Let's start looking for the meaning of life today - I suggest starting with the bar.
  12. In the evening I will pour witchcraft into your crystal darkness glass...
  13. Forget everything, but don't hit anyone.
  14. Let's live and rejoice together.
  15. Today you should look for problems in your 5th point - go to a restaurant with your friends. Then you will definitely understand that there are no problems.
  16. It's time to go on a spree, I'm with you.
  17. You are beautiful, smart, brave... What are these problems?
  18. Whose face should I clean today?
  19. Live in harmony with yourself, and I will live in harmony with you.
  20. Your brain is giving negative signals, let's reset it tonight.
  21. I want to wake up with you from your breath, and not from shouts: “I’ll quit! Today!".
  22. Yes, let these muddy people continue to flounder in their muddy waters.
  23. If you want life to become more interesting and exciting, be rude to your boss and unburden yourself.
  24. Also tell them that you are leaving for the Maldives tomorrow, and the man gave you a yacht.
  25. May they never see you with a sad face, no matter how hard they try to ruin your mood.
  26. Don't you give a damn? They really don't give a damn about you.
  27. All problems are caused by a lack of alcohol in the blood; today we are filling this niche.
  28. “So that the raven does not croak for us” - this evening - in a glass.
  29. Let me give you a punching bag for your birthday - it calms you down and drives out the stupidity.
  30. We ourselves are the creators of life, since we have done this, we will clean it up together.
  31. Get rid of everything unnecessary from your head, just us and our future holiday in the Seychelles.
  32. Don’t bend to the changing world, take care of yourself.
  33. Sadness is a meaningless thing; you urgently need to quickly find something that will cheer you up.
  34. Have pity on the flawed, because they didn’t get even a hundredth part of your merits.
  35. This evening we will arrange a debriefing, you are the flight attendant, I, as always, am the first pilot.

To a friend

In your own words

* * * This world is yours, just always remain yourself! * * * Remember that you will remain a winner in any situation. * * * Any problem must be met with a smile. The problem will think that you are stupid and will run away :) * * * Tomorrow the one who reads this SMS will find his happiness :) * * * Until tomorrow comes, you will not understand how good you had today. Therefore, believe in the best and don’t give up. You are the best friend in the world! * * * You, the best and most faithful friend, I am very glad that I have you.

In verse

* * * When a tear drips from pain... When the heart beats from fear... When the soul hides from the light... When life is torn apart from grief... You sit quietly in silence... Close your eyes, and realizing that you are tired... Tell yourself in private... I will happy! Through thick and thin! * * * Each of us has a breaking point, When our hearts become heavy, When it seems to us that we are falling off a cliff, And life becomes like a black spot... Each of us has a ray of hope, And someone very close and dear He won’t let you fall into the abyss, And he will say: “Don’t be afraid, I’m with you!” * * * Smile! There is no place for sadness in such a beautiful and young soul. After all, to be honest, there is no point in us being sad at any point. Every day is filled with new happiness, And a glass to the success ahead. You are capable of a lot in life, just believe, don’t give up and wait!

Various situations

There are different situations in which a woman needs consolation. In each of them, you should follow a number of actions that help quickly cheer up your loved one.

Read also: Stacks in the oven from minced meat 8 recipes

Comfort from a distance

It can be especially difficult for a girl when she is upset and a loved one is not around. If it is not possible for a man to come to console his beloved, then this can be done by telephone.

Comforting an upset woman over text can be difficult. It is difficult to convey soothing words in SMS messages. It’s much better to call a girl, because nothing compares to the voice of your loved one.

It is important to speak as calmly and gently as possible. You should show sensitivity and concern in the conversation. A girl may react aggressively, but do not be afraid of this, since this is only a defensive reaction to a difficult situation.

You need to try to tell your beloved as many words of reassurance and affectionate phrases as possible, since at this moment there is no opportunity to hug her. You can call your loved one cute nicknames or just a name in a diminutive form.

Sometimes a good solution is to move the conversation to another topic. Men should try to make their loved one laugh or remind her of happy moments. This will help her get distracted and forget about her problems for a while.

Tips for guys

The life of all people does not consist only of happy moments, so everyone periodically faces difficult situations. Girls are especially prone to get very upset and worried at such moments. And it doesn’t matter whether it happened for a serious reason or for a trifle , feelings are always of great importance for women. It is very difficult to be left without support at such a moment.

Errors in behavior

Comfort is primarily sharing the feelings and emotions of another person. It is important to make it clear that he is not alone in his trouble. At this moment, guys need not to stand on the sidelines, but show interest in the problems of a loved one.

However, very often, instead of sincere care, people show the following behavioral errors:

  • reading notations;
  • downplaying other people's feelings and emotions;
  • excessive nervousness.

Such methods will not be able to calm down a loved one, but there is a chance of pushing him away.

First of all, men should be calm. Don't be nervous and fuss. Negative emotions can be contagious, and the girl will begin to feel even more sad. But unfortunately, when you are around a loved one who is very upset, it can sometimes be difficult to contain your emotions.

A good way to calm yourself and a crying woman is to pour her and yourself a glass of water.

It is not recommended to find out in detail what exactly happened. Talking about the intricacies and reasons can lead to the girl having to relive traumatic events. Of course, you definitely need to find out what happened, but you should limit yourself to a general answer.

You should not try to immediately begin an active search for a solution to the problem. In addition, in a state of hysteria, advice can be perceived as moral teaching. It is also important to understand that a crying person first of all wants to throw out his emotions. If a girl needs a young man’s help in resolving a situation, she will ask for it after she calms down.

Belittling the emotions of a crying woman is the biggest mistake a man can make when trying to provide moral support. You especially shouldn’t try to divert a girl’s attention to other people’s problems. What seems like a trivial situation to some is a real tragedy to others. Therefore, you need to give the girl the opportunity to experience her emotions and just be close to her.

Sometimes whims and attempts at manipulation can manifest themselves as hysterics. In this case, it is important not to succumb to provocation. It is especially not recommended to try to appease your loved one by buying expensive gifts. Otherwise, in the future she may again resort to this method of pressure.

Algorithm of actions

Most men, at the sight of a hail of tears flowing down the cheeks of their beloved, are lost and do not know how to behave. Therefore, it is important to know how to properly calm a girl down, and not stand in a stupor, not knowing what to do .

  1. First of all, you need to hug the girl. At this moment, it is not necessary to say anything: a woman just needs to experience her emotions. Also during this period, a man can think and try to guess what happened.
  2. The next step is to demonstrate your interest and support. In a difficult time for her, it is important for a girl to feel loved and know how much she means to a man.
  3. You should not only say pleasant words, but also confirm them with actions. For example, you can feed a girl or organize a romantic date.
  4. You should not give unnecessary advice or try to extract details of what happened. This can make the situation worse and even more frustrating.
  5. You cannot blame your beloved for being too receptive.
  6. After time has passed, you can delicately offer your help in solving the problem.

Using these simple tips, you can easily calm the girl down and get a happy smile from your beloved.

How to cheer up a girl if you're nearby

It’s good when you can be with a person during a difficult period of his life - that’s already half the battle. And the arsenal of methods in this case is much wider, let's look at it.

  • Please the girl with a sincere compliment

At the same time, she should not get the impression that you are saying beautiful words out of pity. Remember her strengths and positive character traits, praise her for her past achievements, and tell her that you admire her. In moments of despondency, a person may seem pitiful and worthless; your compliments will help restore at least a little faith in yourself.

  • Surround with care

Everyone loves to be shown warmth and attention - you can feel like a little child again for a while. Cook the girl something tasty, help with the cleaning, solve her problems that you are able to solve. This way she can relax and take her mind off her sad thoughts.

Read also: How to make a jumping potion in Minecraft

  • Give her a surprise

A surprise can be any unexpected and pleasant action. Give her flowers for no reason, have a romantic dinner, take her somewhere she hasn’t been before. Show your imagination and ingenuity to entertain your loved one.

  • Give the girl a massage

Gentle touches help you turn off your thoughts and surrender to the flow of feelings. Let the girl melt in your strong male arms and forget about all the problems. It is possible that the matter will not end with one massage.

  • Invite your friends and girlfriends

When a person feels bad, he needs to be reminded more often that there are people around who are ready to support and console. Get out into nature with a large group, go to a nightclub together, or just have cozy gatherings at home while watching a good movie.

  • Go shopping together

Shopping has a magical effect on girls. If finances allow, treat your friend with a new dress or shoes. Just be sure to keep her company while shopping and don’t forget to admire her beauty when she tries on the things she likes.

  • Try extreme sports

Snowboarding, alpine skiing, karting, windsurfing are just a few examples of a large number of options. Give a girl a burst of adrenaline, and her sadness will blow away like the wind.

Betrayal

Friend

* * * A person who betrayed love can find an excuse, but a person who betrayed friendship cannot! Draw the right conclusions and learn to live without this person. * * * Pull yourself together and understand that a true friend could not do this to you! Dry your tears and start singing! * * * They say that true friends cannot be replaced, your friends easily replaced you. The conclusion is that there were no “real” ones. Everything is ahead, believe me!

* * * I wonder what your former best friends are doing now, probably talking bad things about you to the people they used to say bad things about. You don't need people like that. You are better, and communicate with the best!

Colleagues

* * * Life provides us with experience in the form of communication with different people. Seasoned and not so, good or bad. Learn from this and move on with your life. Now you are one situation more experienced! And that's a plus! * * * Let this only be a good lesson for you, and not suffering. Draw conclusions about this person and communicate with him only about work. * * * The main thing is to remain human in this situation, do not act out of spite. * * * Don't stoop to someone else's level, and don't let other people drag you down.

Relatives

* * * You will now calm down, because you have already been given the full measure of our sincere sympathy. And now there is no time to cry, the matter is waiting. * * * I understand that it’s hard to realize his betrayal, but now you see who surrounds you. And you can change this by communicating only with the worthy.

Claim possible help

Specific actions are not required at every moment and do not help in all cases. But by offering technical or material support, you demonstrate your interest in the problems of a friend or relative.

Sometimes you can support a person with simple household chores that don’t need any words: cleaning, caring for children, washing dishes. In difficult times, especially when it comes to the death of parents, husband or wife, it is impossible to run a normal household. Here we need someone who will take care of ourselves.

Why do you need support?

A friend can remain in a state of depression for quite a long time. Being depressed can lead to serious consequences in all areas of life:


  1. Social and economic difficulties .
    Long-term low mood depletes the psyche. At the same time, not only performance decreases, but also the desire to achieve goals.

    The friend will begin to work worse, moving away from professional achievements, and will need funds for a normal existence.

    Interpersonal relationships will also suffer - the ability to build trust with others and maintain friendships. Over time, she will simply forget how to love and experience a sense of empathy.

  2. Health problems . It is no secret that all physiological processes occurring in the human body are closely related to the mental state. Long-term depression is often accompanied by refusal of normal nutrition, adherence to work and rest schedules, and healthy sleep. Often, after a breakup, people begin to drink alcohol, becoming dependent on accompanying bad habits.
  3. Changes in character . Depression after breaking up with a boyfriend distorts the worldview, system of values ​​and beliefs, gives rise to self-doubt, fears, and reduces self-esteem.
  4. Risk of suicide . When hope for a bright future is lost, a friend may attempt suicide. As you know, someone who really wants to commit suicide does not demonstrate this intention to the public. Once everything becomes known, nothing can be changed.

Finally, depression after a breakup can lead to promiscuity in an attempt to find an object to take out love. Support from a friend is a kind of prevention of all the negative consequences of depression.

When should a girl be calmed down?

Talk to her, find out what happened. Sometimes just sharing her problem will make things easier. Depending on the situation, proceed further: first, hug her. This helps a lot, because hugs make a girl feel protected and calm. Then, after you understand what the situation is, express your opinion on this matter.

How to calm a girl down with words

Try to look at her problem from an optimistic point of view and tell her that not everything is as bad as she thinks. Offer a possible solution to the situation and let her understand that you will support her in every possible way and will do everything possible to ensure that the situation returns to normal. Even if you don’t know what solution to offer in her question, nevertheless try to make it clear that the situation can be resolved one way or another.

Use the following lines in your conversation:

“You are not alone, you have me”

"You can always count on my help"

How to calm a girl down from a distance

If the girl is not around, keep in constant contact with her via phone, messenger, social network. Try to make her have the impression that, despite the distance, you are close to her. Tell her that if she feels uneasy again, she’ll call you right away and you’ll support her.

How to calm a crying girl down

You just need to hug a crying girl tightly and stay with her in this position for up to several minutes. While she's crying, it's even better not to say much. In your arms she will calm down quite quickly, and then you can talk to her.

Accident

In your own words

* * * Honey, you will get better and soon we will be running to discos :) * * * Everything will be fine, it’s no one’s fault that this happened! * * * The Guardian Angel protects you, because he gave you a chance to live. * * * Nothing terrible happened, everyone is alive, and this is the most important thing. * * * I’ll come to you for tea, bring cookies and heal you :)

In verse

People, cherish every day, Cherish every minute. We only live once on earth, Rejoice, morning has come again!

God gave life and blessed us, so that we could walk the righteous path. It’s not in vain that He instilled a soul in us, To ask later, beyond that threshold.

We must live, love, help each other, it cannot be otherwise. And for this - God's grace, And you will become richer spiritually.

The years will fly by unnoticed, Rejoice and enjoy life! Don’t be stingy with kind words, make everyone happy and smile more often!

How can you cheer up a girl?

A young man has the opportunity to restore the good mood of his beloved in the following ways:

  1. Prepare a delicious dish . Down with the stereotypes that it’s mostly men who like to eat delicious food. Good food is a universal way to improve your mood. Even a person far from cooking can learn how to cook one simple dish in a couple of days. The main thing is not to overdo it with calories if a girl is concerned about her figure;
  2. Make a compliment . In difficult life moments, a girl will be pleased to hear warm words. You can brighten them up with a harmless joke or a funny story from your life;
  3. Take him on an unusual date . For example, if a girl is not shy, then she will be impressed by a helicopter flight with her loved one. Some companies even organize romantic flights for two. Horseback riding is also a good option. This is not as dangerous as many people think. The girl will be offered the most peaceful animal and will be helped to sit in the saddle. Such a pastime, coupled with being in the fresh air, will definitely improve your mood;
  4. Get a massage . You can learn a simple relaxing massage technique using videos on Youtube;
  5. Give a cute little thing . It can be anything, from a teddy bear to an unusual decorative night light.

Things to do?

When you're in a relationship, you spend a lot of time together, doing things together.

In order for long-distance relationships to proceed harmoniously, you must also remember to do something together.

For example:

  1. Watch a series or movie together. Connect via video call and watch a movie together.
  2. Arrange correspondence by regular letters. This is very romantic and will only strengthen your relationship.
  3. Play some game. It could be online chess or something else of your choice. You can play Truth or Dare or just association.
  4. Have a virtual date . Agree in advance what kind of kitchen you want and what you will wear. Order or prepare food at the appointed time and communicate via video call.

How to make your boyfriend jealous? Read about it here.

SMS for your beloved

Send funny SMS to a girl to cheer her up! If your relationship is just at the nascent stage, she will understand that she cares about you.

  1. I'm afraid to look at you. Because you are so damn beautiful.
  2. I want to send you a photo of my love, but it’s not attached, it’s too big...
  3. You are so hot that sometimes I am afraid of getting burned when kissing...
  4. I love you like ice cream! Ready to eat both in winter and summer.
  5. You won't have anyone like me anymore! In principle, you can only be happy about this.
  6. Darling, meeting you blew my mind!
  7. “By opening this message, you have released the happiness virus!”
  8. Hey! Stop dating! It's time for you to get married!
  9. Darling, please answer, are you sleeping?
  10. Get out of my thoughts urgently, otherwise my work is idle!
  11. If in 15 seconds you don’t write that you love me, you have 100 kisses!
  12. Darling, you reign in my heart! I ask one thing - stop messing with the throne...
  13. You said you love pizza, and now I want to be like her!
  14. Who took the key to my heart?!
  15. Honey, how soon should I arrive so that you are ready in 15 minutes?
  16. She should have gotten lost just when I was so cold! I'm talking about pajamas...
  17. This message was sent to the most beautiful girl in the world.
  18. The bad news is that my heart was stolen. The main suspect is you...
  19. I move the tomatoes in your direction.
  20. If one of your friends is afraid of gaining weight, let them drink before eating. This neutralizes fear.

Animal death

Briefly in your own words

* * * Sorry. It's like losing a loved one. I understand you. Everything will be fine, hang in there. * * * Just believe that your dog is there, invisibly nearby. * * * I understand how you feel, time will pass and you will feel better. * * * You've had worse situations. And nothing, you did it! And you can handle it, I’m sure! * * * Everything will be fine! We will get through this together. * * * I see how dear he was to you, but continue to live.

Read also…. Wumbuilding at home

Find out and help a person who is feeling bad. For him, this is the same as losing a loved one.

Hug a woman

Hugs should be used in any case. However, their character directly depends on the type of your relationship. Yes, if you are in a relationship, hugs should be as warm as possible. If the girl with sad eyes is your friend or classmate, a friendly hug on the shoulders will be enough.

While hugging, tell her that you are worried:

  • “I’m really sorry that this test upset you. But, believe me, one mark does not decide your fate. You are the smartest person in our group, learn everything and shine in the exam. And I will keep my fingers crossed."
  • “Sunny, don’t be upset that Alena came in the same dress. The product is really beautiful. But it looks much more attractive on you. And don’t be offended by your friend: it means you both have excellent taste. You are my best."

Read on topic:
How kisses are distinguished: types and characteristics

Psychology of breakups

At any age, a girl takes the news of her partner’s departure hard. Love suffering deeply wounds the soul and does not heal quickly. Therefore, at first, the friend will be immune to requests to stop suffering and shedding tears.

READ How to keep your beloved: what should a guy do if a girl wants to break up with him

In psychology, there are two phases of the breakup of a couple: protest and submission. At the first stage, a person does not want to believe in what is happening. He hopes that his partner will come to his senses and return. Therefore, if a girl tries, but does not understand how to console her friend, then it is not her fault. The mind is simply deaf to all beliefs.

Having survived the first period, the girl enters the submissive phase. A friend realized that the man she loved had left her forever, and she needed to learn to live without him. At this stage, you can already help and advise something. The girl will gratefully accept any help from a loved one.

Cheer a girl by SMS and phone

So, topics for SMS and short calls that can cheer up a girl are given below.

Wish her a great day

Charge her with a great mood for the day with an appropriate wish. What words to choose? Example: “Today will be a wonderful day: I wish it for you! Most importantly, smile more often and charge everyone around you with incredible energy!” Support the words with a picture, choosing it according to your interlocutor’s taste: a playing cat, flower fields, a sunlit city, and so on. Are we talking about a lover? Send a collage of your photos together.

Short and funny SMS

If you are going through a funny situation, don’t miss the chance to make the girl laugh! Tell her about it via SMS. Is there anything fun going on around you? Please her with funny memes, of which there are many on the Internet. Important advice: short jokes are preferable so that the interlocutor does not have to spend a lot of time reading. The recommendation is relevant if you are not sure that it is completely unoccupied.

Funny video

As already mentioned, a video can amuse a girl if you choose it in accordance with her taste preferences. Important tip: make sure your message is easy to view, otherwise the meaning will be lost. Don’t send just anything – vulgar, stupid, too long videos. A topic that is appropriate for a male company is not always liked by women - take this into account.

Compliments

A win-win option that lifts your spirits for a long time. Example: you saw each other recently. Write: “I forgot to say that you were wearing a very beautiful dress. I remember it very much.” What other compliments will impress: “I just can’t forget your amazing eye color,” “I’ve never seen such beautiful hair,” “You look especially chic today.” In order for messages not to sound like irony, they must be close to the truth. When communicating in person, try not to put off pleasant words for later - give compliments right away.

Bring the situation to the point of absurdity

If you feel that your friend is ready for jokes, you can use this psychological technique: inflate the situation to the point of absurdity so that it stops seeming so terrible. For example, a friend broke up with her boyfriend and is very worried. Tell her: “My friend’s cat just gave birth to kittens, although there are only 4 of them, but that’s okay, gradually we will be able to find more. So what to do?! After all, you are already 13 years old! It's too late to start a new relationship! The only option is to have 40 cats and not think about relationships anymore.” If your friend appreciates humor, she will smile and cheer up a little. Well, if not, look for other options.

What not to do?

Even humor will not save you in a specific situation, so when testing the waters, you should carefully monitor whether the jokes are going well

  • Don't ask a girl to smile. How will she do this if her soul is in complete darkness? All reactions must be caused naturally.
  • Don’t ignore a woman, even if you don’t know what to suggest or think the problem is funny. This will greatly offend her, because she is waiting for support and care.
  • Don't bother me. Yes, sex can really lift your mood and push negativity into the background. But, it is better to let such an initiative come from her side, because most girls will consider intimacy unnecessary at a moment of extreme sadness.

Motivating

In your own words

* * * The fate of a person who sits still does not move. Go for it, I believe in you! * * * You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can always raise the sails to achieve your goal. * * * There is no point in looking for a place where you will feel good. It makes sense to learn how to create it well anywhere... * * * Remember that when you really want something, the whole Universe will help make your wish come true.

In verse

Look into your eyes again. Fly forward again. You can't just go back. Everything that has passed does not count.

And it's easy to let go. Believe: movement is life. The past is far away, Just don't look back!

Taking into account the female character

The desire to please a girl when she is sad is completely natural. However, when choosing a way to improve your mood, you need to take into account the characteristics of a woman’s character, her preferences and temperament.

If your beloved prefers romantic get-togethers and private time, try the following methods:

  • a trip to nature, a picnic, cooking barbecue on an open fire;
  • weekend in a country house;
  • attending a concert of your favorite performer or orchestra;
  • going to the cinema and watching a romantic comedy;
  • water treatments in a water park or city pool.

If your beloved loves active recreation and prefers noisy gatherings to solitude, there are also countless ways to lift her spirits. For example, you might suggest:

  • go out into nature with a large group, where fishing, catamaran riding, various competitions and other events await;
  • organize a party to which she will invite her best friends, select music and menu, and come up with competitions;
  • book a table at some night establishment where you can go with a large group;
  • go to an entertainment center or park where swings and ice cream will take you back to childhood;
  • engage in extreme recreation - skydiving, diving.

When thinking about how to cheer up a girl, it is important to understand that every representative of the fair sex needs male attention, warm attitude and support.
Therefore, it does not make much difference which of the above methods you use.

The main thing is to show that she is not alone, you will always come to her aid. In this case, the negative attitude will quickly be replaced by a positive outlook on the world around you.

Help me find the right way out

Every problem must have a way out. Discuss different scenarios and think about how you can influence them. One head it's good, but two better. Perhaps the upset girlfriend simply hasn’t thought about what to do yet. Your task is to let her understand that she needs to think about further steps and look for a way out of the current situation, and not sit, shedding tears over something that cannot be changed. How can I do that:

  • Take a piece of paper and write down the essence of the problem.
  • Now write down all the pros and cons of what happened (more attention, of course, needs to be paid to the pros).
  • Write down what can be done to improve the situation.

Once you have a clear plan, there will be no point in worrying.

Switch attention

When the girl has cried and spoken out, try to distract her with something else. Offer to go somewhere, watch a movie (preferably a comedy), just take a walk. Now you need to show her that nothing bad happened, life goes on.

If your loved one has long wanted to go for a massage, then you can combine business with pleasure. Just don't overdo it with this method. Some ladies begin to manipulate their mood in order to achieve what they want.

If you have some minor problem today, ask your young lady to help you. Maybe by helping you, she will be distracted and forget about her problems for a while. But you shouldn’t make such a request too abruptly. She may think that you don't care about her difficulties.

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