How to get a person out of depression: how to help, how to calm down

Depression is a serious mental disorder that affects hundreds of thousands of people around the world. People experiencing symptoms of this disorder are often left alone with their illness and do not want to see a specialist, citing the frivolity of their condition. Treatment for depression seems unnecessary and ineffective to them. And those who find themselves next to a person suffering from depression cannot always correctly determine what is happening, and sometimes simply do not know how to behave.

When a person gets sick and his loved ones do not support him, this drives him into even greater loneliness and hopelessness.

How can you tell if your partner, friend or relative is depressed? This disease is almost always accompanied by a long-term decrease in mood - not for an hour or for one day. A person begins to notice only negative aspects in daily events. Often people who are depressed stop working or their performance is greatly reduced, they withdraw into themselves and stop actively communicating with family, children and friends. A depressed person may stop eating normally. That is, there must be a sudden change in behavior. Then you should start worrying and be more careful and delicate when dealing with such a person. Below we will tell you what you need to do so as not to harm your loved one suffering from depression, but, on the contrary, to help him cope with it.

How to get a girl, wife, woman out of depression?

To support your girlfriend or wife, you must follow these recommendations:

1. Talk about it. Women are more willing to admit that they are depressed. Try asking a few leading questions: “What happened?”, “When did it start?”, “How can I help you?” The conversation should reflect your position of participation and support in the girl’s problem, without any pressure on your part.
2. Look at others. After you have found out the reason, try to choose a suitable film, similar to the girl’s situation, where in the end everything is resolved successfully. Women are much more susceptible to the experiences of other people, so the resolution of the situation by the hero on the screen will be partially perceived as personal.
3. Let the girl be "weak". Ask the girl/woman about her upcoming activities and actively offer your help. Screwing in a light bulb, going to the store, cooking dinner - these are the little things that will bring a girl a feeling of care and allow her to feel like she is behind a stone wall.

You can fight a depressed state of mind with the help of shopping and friends. You need to convince your friend to start taking care of herself and taking care of her appearance.

The woman must be convinced that she needs to say goodbye to the past. A new life begins for her, which is full of many possibilities.

How to get a boyfriend, husband, man out of depression?

If your friend or husband is depressed, you should adhere to the following principles:

1. You can't feel sorry for him. It is important for a man to realize his strength even in moments of weakness. Feelings of pity destroy self-confidence, so it should not be shown.
2. Problems need to be identified. Representatives of the stronger sex often find it difficult to realize the existence of problems; they often keep them silent. A loved one should support the man and make it clear that the presence of difficulties and difficulties does not in any way affect his status in the eyes of others.
3. Do not require confirmation of depression. Pressure and the desire to impose help will push a man away; he will withdraw into himself, which can cause his condition to worsen.
4. Words of support. It is necessary to praise a person even over small things, say compliments and words of gratitude, and encourage them. It is necessary to point out strengths and support them in any endeavors.

People who are depressed should be spoken to calmly and confidently. Communication should be easy, you cannot put pressure on a person, shout at him or accuse him that he himself is to blame for his problems.

How to identify a disease in a loved one?

You do not need to have any special education to diagnose depression in a person.

An ill person experiences the following changes in behavior:

• sudden changes in lifestyle, atypical isolation and sadness for a person,
• loss of faith in a bright future, loss of self-confidence,
• almost complete isolation from surrounding people, the person has almost stopped going outside unnecessarily and spends all his time at home,
• lack of manifestations of joy and inspiration, the person is no longer interested in what he was recently delighted with,
• conversations about the meaninglessness of life and the lack of a bright future. “Life is over,” a person says more and more often,
• complete indifference to what is happening, apathy,
• slow movements and speech, sharp, nervous twitches,
• loss of sense of reality,
• lack of desire to move somewhere and do something, a person tries to quickly get rid of communication in order to remain alone,
• sloppy appearance, neglect of one’s appearance and even hygiene,
• unsmiling and pessimistic.

A once smiling and active person suddenly becomes passive and apathetic, and this state has lasted for quite some time. Most likely, the person is depressed and needs help from loved ones.

Having learned that a loved one is depressed, it is necessary to provide him with all possible help and support.

The apathy characteristic of a depressive state often simply does not allow a person to fully understand his condition and try to get out of it.

In this case, analysis and outside support are simply necessary .

How do you know if it's depression? 4 signs of depression:

How to help mom and dad get out of depression?

A daughter or son who wants to help their elderly parents overcome depression should spend as much time as possible with them. It is necessary to show that dad and mom remain important people in life, that their advice and recommendations are important. You can help your mother get out of depression with the help of a psychotherapist.

Much depends on what caused the depression. If it developed under the influence of the death of a spouse, you should temporarily settle the parent with yourself or move in with him. In cases in which the disorder becomes a consequence of age-related changes, in addition to participation in life, care and support, a visit to a psychiatrist should be monitored. The doctor will prescribe a suitable medication, the use of which will speed up recovery from the painful condition.

Help for women

According to statistics, women, due to mental characteristics, suffer from depression much more often than men, so they need the help and support of others.

Methods for getting a woman out of depression largely depend on the approach to the woman and who exactly is trying to help her recover: friend, mother, husband, and so on.

To the girl

Tips on how to get your girlfriend out of depression:

1. more often about how beautiful and wonderful she is, but at the same time make sure that the compliments do not go into unnecessary platitudes.
2. Give small gifts , flowers, candy, toys and so on. But it’s better not to be frequent with gifts, no more than one gift per week.
3. Perform some romantic act, ask her out on a date, try to surprise her with your approach, so that the shock crowds out other overwhelming feelings.
4. Hug more often , so the girl will subconsciously feel an emotional connection with the guy and understand that she is loved and needed.
5. Have a heart-to-heart talk, try to find out what exactly is bothering the girl , but under no circumstances judge her or try to attribute her condition to whims.
6. Try to take her to a skating rink, horseback riding or other unusual event, so that she can again feel the beautiful and interesting world around her, which is just waiting for her to appear.
7. Try to seduce a girl into intimacy, but seduce , not force.

How to get out of deep depression? Advice from psychologists will help you!

To mom

Tips to help your mom cope with depression:

• don't leave her and always be there ,
• help with household chores,
• talk heart to heart, try to find out the causes of the disease,
• go somewhere together ,
• do together with your mother what she liked most before the disease, perhaps this will bring back the colors of her life,
• persuade her to see a psychologist , tell her that this is a normal phenomenon and she is not to blame for anything.

Universal tips

There are also a number of universal tips regardless of gender and age:

1. Take a position. Even if a person is wrong, he should be supported, sympathized with and shared views regarding the event that led to depressive disorder. This arrangement will create a relationship of trust, which will allow you to talk out and cry.
2. To be nearby. You should be ready to help at any moment, even if the time is not right for you. If it is impossible to be physically nearby, you need to encourage and listen from a distance, for example, through correspondence. A person should not be left alone with his thoughts, because this can lead to unpredictable consequences.
3. You can't criticize. Any criticism will aggravate the condition, increase feelings of guilt and uncertainty. Even if critical comments are objective, they should be refrained from. The most effective form of communication will be dialogue with leading questions.
4. Let there be light! The positive effects of natural and artificial lighting on depressed people have been scientifically proven. Make sure you wake up early, close curtains or blinds during the day, and get as much vitamin D from the sun as possible. Daylight alone is not enough; conventional lamps are more effective in phototherapy treatment. Make sure that the person is exposed to bright electric light for at least 20 minutes a day (and up to 1 hour), and within a week he will feel an improvement.
5. The body is in action. A relaxing massage is a very effective remedy, especially when combined with massage oil and pleasant music. Particular attention should be paid to the cervical-collar region and the lumbar region.
6. A little movement. During depression, large amounts of stress hormones, in particular cortisol, are released into the blood. During physical activity, the stress hormone is utilized. Of course, this does not mean that it is necessary to drag a person to the gym, but long walks along the street in warm weather, or in a shopping center in cold weather, will definitely lift your spirits.

Give your partner privacy

Treatment for depression will always be a mess. It's like letting your cat trample in the paint and then run across the white sheet. It seems that your treatment plan has been worked out in detail, goals have been set, everything is neatly recorded in your observation log, and you are vigorously moving along the right path.

But one morning the patient wakes up and feels hopeless... Everything is bad, so much hard work has been done, but nothing helps, my soul is still empty and terribly sad. It would be better now to curl up into a ball of sadness and renounce the whole world.

This happens, and it’s natural. But at these moments you want to either give your patient a good kick so that he stops being sour, or completely abandon the treatment, because it does not bear fruit. Take your time, one bad day is not the end of the world. Although your love will not be the main cure for depression, it is still important for the patient, says psychotherapist Rita de Maria.

Rita de Maria

psychotherapist

Your love, your presence, your warmth are certainly needed by your partner. It won't stop depression, just as it won't, for example, lower your blood sugar or relieve arthritis pain. However, your feelings can change the “broken” processes in your partner’s head, revive his positive thoughts and increase his self-esteem during this difficult period.

Depression radically changes your normal life. What made you happy ceases to make you happy; what fascinated or interested no longer evokes even a drop of emotion. The presence of someone nearby who accepts this state without judgment or offense is very supportive and even inspiring.

How to get a person out of depression?

The task of a loved one, first of all, is to have a good understanding of what caused the depressive state.

Why does a person feel bad?

The reasons why depressive disorder may develop vary. Experts highlight the following:

1. Death of a loved one. An unexpected loss leads to a long-term depressed state. It takes time to come to terms with the thought of the death of a loved one.
2. Abortion. Termination of pregnancy leads to both psychological and physiological consequences. The operation can cause hormonal imbalance, which will lead to the development of depressive disorder.
3. Problems in your personal life. Often a person suffers from a breakup with a partner, his betrayal or misunderstanding. The most serious condition is for people who are abandoned. Their self-esteem is at a critically low level.
4. Creative crisis. If a person cannot realize his potential, does not feel needed, and does not have professional achievements, he may find himself in a serious crisis.
5. Overwork. Stress, anxiety, and constant worries lead to exhaustion of the nervous system, emotional burnout, which provokes depression.
6. Pressure from outside. The psychological state can worsen in cases where a person is in a toxic relationship that makes him feel weak, stupid, angry, etc. Some people are capable of suppressing those around them, which is why the latter often find themselves in a depressed state.
7. Manipulation. Sometimes symptoms of depression are used to gain attention. Such tricks may be conscious or unconscious. Therefore, it is important to understand whether a person is suffering from an illness or wants to receive more attention and care from others.

Instill confidence, understanding and empathy

When a person is depressed, a person's self-esteem is low, so it is important to raise it in various ways. Understanding, sympathy and participation in the problem on the part of loved ones will strengthen self-confidence and allow you to find emotional balance. However, you cannot feel sorry for a person, this will only worsen the mental state.

Focus your loved one on the positive

A depressed person should avoid any negative thoughts and events. It is necessary to get as many positive impressions as possible, focus on successes, do what brings pleasure, and not engage in routine, monotonous things. It is important to strengthen the belief that the future will bring joyful changes, and with them will come happiness and love.

Be an ally and participant in events

When you take on the task of helping a friend or partner get out of depression, you should not remain an outside observer or only an adviser. It is necessary to take an active part in a person’s life: go somewhere with him, be nearby, help in the implementation of plans, etc.

Do not react to aggression and negativity from a depressed person

A common symptom of depression is sudden mood swings, which can be accompanied by attacks of anger and aggression. You need to be prepared for such behavior: do not be offended and understand that these are natural reactions that appear in a person with such a disease.

Taking conversations about suicide seriously

Thoughts of suicide are one of the common signs of depression. Regardless of how regularly and in what form a person talks about suicide, you should definitely pay attention to this. Attempts to die can be made at any moment, so you should try to constantly monitor the mood of such people.

Apathy: reasons

Reluctance to do something and complete indifference to everything are not at all the whims of a spoiled spontaneous personality. Coldness, detachment, lethargy appears abruptly or develops gradually, while the person is not able to control his feelings, does not understand their nature, is not aware of them, and cannot change anything on his own.

Apathy is a special organization of the psyche, the inner world of a person. This is a kind of lever that the nervous system uses during a period when the resource of mental energy is completely depleted under the influence of traumatic circumstances. The brain, stabilizing the activity of the body during prolonged excitation of the central nervous system, “turns on” inhibition. Nature has taken care of such a “fuse” that protects the psyche during strong nervous tension from complete depletion of its reserves.

Psychiatry considers apathy syndrome not a disease, but a sign of the existence of a problem in the individual’s psyche - total indifference to something specific, but to everything in general.

Apathy, if it has taken possession of a person for a long time, can become a character trait or visit the individual for a short period of time. The reasons given for it are as follows:

1. Emotional burnout as a result of work associated with great psychological and temperamental impact, the need to communicate with numerous people. 2. Overwork. 3. Stress for a long time. 4. Serious illnesses that exhaust the body. 5. Organic brain damage due to traumatic brain injury, diseases of brain tissue, neuroinfections, etc.

Prolonged absolute apathy is dangerous because the desire to do anything at all, including maintaining personal hygiene, disappears.

This state of contemplative inactivity can also be a manifestation of such a severe mental disorder as schizophrenia, as well as dementia and depression. Somatic diseases may also be involved: HIV infection, tick-borne borreliosis. In addition, apathy can be triggered by taking antipsychotics.

Depression is not justified and will not go away on its own.

Depression is an illness that needs to be treated comprehensively. In most cases, this disorder requires medication that can only be prescribed by a specialist. The course should be accompanied by correctional work with a psychotherapist and participation from loved ones.

You should not expect this disease to go away on its own. If there is no treatment, it becomes chronic, which is accompanied by phases of exacerbation.

Any excuses about heredity, life circumstances, etc. must be left aside. It is necessary to talk with the person and support him morally and in action.

Is it possible to help a person at home?

You can save a loved one from depression faster if you help him at home.

Men should change their surroundings and go on vacation. Occupational therapy is one of the effective ways to restore mental health. Representatives of the stronger sex can try themselves in extreme activities, for example, skydiving or bungee jumping.

Women prefer to engage in some types of needlework. This will not only bring emotional peace, but will also improve self-esteem.

Accumulated negativity can be released through art therapy. Any new hobbies will be useful.

To find meaning in life after depression, you need to look at familiar phenomena from a different angle. Charity can help with this. This does not mean that you need to donate a lot of money. Help can be provided in different forms. For example, you can organize a collection of things, take food or medicine to the sick, walk dogs at a shelter, communicate with orphans, etc.

You need to distract yourself with other events, so you should attend as many exhibitions, concerts, sporting events, etc. as possible, communicate with people, make new acquaintances, find hobbies. Depressed people need to change their lifestyle. You need to adjust your diet by adding more healthy foods and giving up alcohol and tobacco. Any physical activity, from walking to swimming, will have a beneficial effect on the body.

You should carefully monitor your mood.

If a person experiencing a depressive disorder experiences a greater decline in depression, measures must be taken to improve it. Every day should be filled with some pleasant events.

If you can’t change your surroundings, you should watch an uplifting film, read a book or listen to inspiring music.

You cannot be alone, so you should renew old acquaintances and maintain relationships with relatives and friends. In case of exacerbation, it is necessary to contact someone who will listen and provide help.

If a person wants to get out of a depressed state, he should use gadgets as little as possible, spend time on social networks, preferring live communication to virtual communication.

We should not forget that people who are depressed especially need proper rest. They should adhere to a daily routine, sleeping at least 8 hours a day. If necessary, take an afternoon rest.

Only sincere participation can help a person get out of depression. If caring for a friend, loved one or parent is a burden for you, you should first understand yourself and only then help others.

Rule three: don’t just talk, but also do (or just be there)

Typically, depressed people find it extremely difficult to force themselves to do anything. Therefore, any help from you will be welcome. Maybe you can bring groceries from the store, pick up the children from kindergarten and sit with them for an hour, help clean the apartment. One important addition: Only offer help when you are sure you have the time and energy to fulfill the request. Often in a state of depression, people experience irrational fears and cannot do things that a six-year-old child can cope with. At the same time, they are fully aware of the stupidity of their behavior - and this only makes it worse, because when an adult is unable to get out of bed and change clothes for the tenth day in a row or hides under the blanket because something rustles behind the curtain, he feels ashamed and awkward because he believes that others will certainly judge and laugh at him (remember that depression is like a magnifying glass, it magnifies all negative feelings).

What to do if someone else's depression drags you down?

If, while helping a loved one, you discover that you also have signs of depression, you should carefully analyze the cause of their occurrence. If you are depressed by the futility of trying to pull a person out of a pathological syndrome, you should understand that you are doing everything possible, but the main work lies on the shoulders of the one who suffers from depression. It is impossible to take it upon yourself.

In cases where a depressed state has arisen due to unclear reasons, it is necessary to consult a psychotherapist. You should not break contact with the person you wanted to help, since you may be his only support. However, at the first, even weak, signs of the disease, it is necessary to urgently take measures to treat it.

Find out more about the problem

When someone talks about their own problem, they rarely reveal all their cards.

This is not surprising, because most people are afraid of being judged, so they go to great lengths to slightly reduce the manifestation of depression.

To really help, it is necessary to establish the real reasons and understand the possible difficulties that have to be dealt with.