Spanking on the butt: meaning in psychology and what experts think about it, consequences for the psyche

When performed correctly, spanking the butt can give a girl serious excitement. This role-playing game will allow your partner to play the role of a “bad girl,” and you will feel like a real male. Spanking perfectly diversifies sex and can give both partners a bright and powerful orgasm. The most important thing is to learn how to properly spank her ass.

We recommend that you watch our training video. In it you will learn the secret rules on how to properly spank a girl so that she gets maximum pleasure from it.

Why pregnant women should not be hit on the butt like an ordinary woman

There are many signs and superstitions about pregnant women. As for the question of whether and why you shouldn’t hit a pregnant woman on the butt, there are plenty of them. People consider the consequences of such blows to be future fear in the child, possible complications during childbirth, and the baby may wrap the umbilical cord around his neck. Such spankings are also attributed to subsequent diseases that can occur in the embryo already in the womb: underdevelopment, dementia.

Doctors assess this situation a little differently. Strong blows in the butt area can cause the placenta to detach and the baby may die. Vibration shocks are also transmitted to the small fruit, which can damage it. Everything again depends on the force of the blow.

A light slap will cheer up a pregnant woman; attention from a loved one is always pleasant. But a blow to the butt is painful, unpleasant, offensive

Since childhood, some mothers have had difficult memories of punishment, which develop into a real psychological problem. And it can cause stress, nervous excitement and affect the child’s condition.

Is it possible and why shouldn’t girls be hit on the butt like a future woman?

The most traditional punishment is considered to be spanking children on the bottom. Few people in childhood did not experience their father’s belt or their mother’s confident hand. And no one explains what irreparable terrible consequences the child’s body can show and why it is impossible to hit girls like a future woman on the bottom.

It is undesirable to hit both a girl and a boy on the bottom. This can lead to physical and psychological injuries, which will definitely manifest themselves:

metabolic and body dysfunction (from fear, the child squeezes his throat tightly, the urinary system suffers, it is possible that he will get hit not in the butt, but in the kidneys, spine);
accumulation of feelings of defenselessness, anger, aggression and impunity of a strong person in front of a weak person, a feeling of humiliation.

After a physically unsuccessful upbringing, a child may experience a severe bruise or even rupture of a kidney, dysfunction of the urinary system, and weakening of intestinal functions during fear. If you get into the area of the spine or tailbone, much more serious injuries are possible than ordinary bruises. Think about how dear your child is to you.

Psychologists have long protested against corporal punishment, after which a child, especially a girl, develops a corresponding “victim complex.” Such women are subsequently subject to violence from men and live in the future with tyrants who humiliate and suppress them in every possible way.

Few people can say with confidence that raising children is an easy process. Despite the fact that almost every parent these days is aware of the negative effects of physical punishment, there are people who stubbornly hold the opposite point of view. In this article we will find out why you should not hit children on the hands.

, head, face, and we will also tell you why physical punishment is dangerous.

Cool Spanking Rules

To masterfully spank your girlfriend, all you need is your right or left palm. This is quite enough to arouse wild passion in her. In order for a girl to like your spankings, it is advisable to remember these important rules:

Excite your partner greatly. Of course, it all depends on the temperament and preferences of your girlfriend. Some girls like to be gently kissed and hugged, and only then start spanking, others immediately get aroused by unexpected spankings. Everyone is individual, but most will be happy with foreplay.
Try to make increasing spankings. Give weaker spanks at the beginning, and then stronger ones. Such a smooth transition will ignite even more passion in your partner. This will also help warm up the butt muscles, which will make the blows as painless and enjoyable as possible in the future.
Spank rhythmically. Try to spank every 2-3 seconds. Observe the girl's behavior and do what she likes most.
Don't forget to hit hard with your palm. It is advisable that your palm make sharp blows, as if you were beating your partner’s buttocks with a whip. To make it even more pleasant for your partner, we recommend not keeping your palms on the buttocks. Try to immediately withdraw your hand and immediately raise it for a new blow.
Alternate between blows and excitement. It is best to alternate spanking and arousal of the partner, thanks to this, the girl will always be in the most excited state.

You can also watch a training video of all the listed rules for successful spanking on our Telegram channel.

ATTENTION! Don't forget to spank your butt hard and rhythmically. If your butt is all red, the girl is happy, and at this time both of your palms are burning, then you are doing everything right.

Oh, I'll ask you!

Probably, almost every parent has at least once committed the sin of using force, because their nerves were running out and their patience was running out. Many people reproach themselves very much after this, but some believe that hitting a child is normal when words and persuasion no longer help.

Psychologists categorically prohibit doing this, and here’s why:

This has no educational impact. Yes, the child will immediately stop playing around or doing what he shouldn’t, but only because he will be distracted by your screaming and spanking. But next time he will again reach for what is forbidden, because he still won’t understand why it was banned last time. Perhaps this time it’s possible?
This is a sign of weakness. Adults, of course, have superiority in strength over children, and this is clear to everyone. But when a parent prefers to hit the baby rather than try to explain why this or that cannot be done, this is a sign of weakness. This means that the adult is powerless in the face of whims, and feels that he is losing his authority. But ingenuity, intelligence and resourcefulness are not enough to solve the problem peacefully.
Fear begets fear. Children who suffer from physical punishment in the family often grow up secretive. They are afraid to tell their parents about their problems, needs and desires, as a result, looking for advice on the outside, and harboring resentment and even hatred in their souls. It happens that such children often end up in bad companies and succumb to negative influence.
There are serious medical reasons for this. And here's what. Studies have shown that children who were hit in the head as children have significantly lower gray matter levels. This means that forceful methods of solving problems directly affect the processes occurring in the brain. This entails a lag in psychological development and problems with the nervous system.
This causes psychological problems. Do you think it is forbidden to hit only on the head? Even hand slapping is taboo. The fact is that starting from infancy, children are researchers. And such a seemingly innocent gesture as a slap on the hands can cause irreparable harm. Namely, to fundamentally destroy the process of cognition, discouraging the desire to continue it. This leads to apathy and disruption of the child’s normal development.

Now let's figure out what threatens the rash behavior of parents?

The appearance of fear. A priori, the little man loves his parents very much, but in moments when they lose their temper, love gives way to horror. These two opposing emotions almost never coexist normally in the child’s psyche, and lead to neuroses.
Low self-esteem. Kids stop believing in themselves and their strengths and capabilities, give in to difficulties, and always give in to those who seem stronger to them, afraid to defend their opinion.
Loss of concentration and emotional connection. Children who constantly expect physical punishment cannot concentrate on important things, and also gradually move away from adults, which causes misunderstandings and additional problems in the family.
Often adults, angry and out of control, are capable of causing serious injury to a loved one.

There are always alternatives to spanking

You can try to switch attention to something else, and when the baby stops doing what he shouldn’t do, explain why he shouldn’t do it. Often a problem with discipline or putting things in order can be solved with the help of a game in which the parent will definitely participate

Well, don’t forget that every child has his own special hobbies; banning them for a while is much better than spanking.

Love your children and try to find a common language. Then there will be much fewer problems, and those that appear will be solved in the blink of an eye.

An expert from the STS show “Supermom” believes that the key to the hearts of children is not violence, but love

A new family reality show “Supermom” has launched on STS. The expert of the program was the famous psychologist and TV presenter Mikhail Labkovsky. In this program, he not only gives the heroines advice on raising children, but also helps correct mistakes. Journalists from the news agency “Stolitsa” talked with a famous psychologist and learned how to become a supermom for your children, establish contact with your child and help him make his own decisions.

How to spank correctly?

Many guys don't know how to spank a girl's butt properly. It is very important to do this specifically on the buttocks, where the gluteus maximus muscles are located. If you spank her on the joints or hit her with your palm on a bone, or even worse, slap her on the kidneys, then this will only cause the girl pain. It is important that the spanking feels good to her and that it burns her skin at the same time.

If you are just trying to spank your girlfriend, it is advisable to observe her reaction. Give her a spanking once and then watch her behavior. Observe how comfortable or uncomfortable your partner is. In most cases, the girl will like your actions, but everything is individual. We must not forget that each person has his own preferences and sensitivities.

IMPORTANT! Try to spank the girl's butt from bottom to top on the gluteus maximus muscle. The lateral surface of the thigh and everything that is on top or on the side of the buttock is not suitable for spanking, because there is a small amount of muscle there and it will hurt the girl. The slap should feel like you're throwing your buttock up from bottom to top with your palm.

Why can't you hit a child?

Fortunately, many adults who use physical punishment on children know how to stop in time and do not hit them with full force.

However, even a light blow (especially to the head) can harm a child’s body. And the younger the child, the more serious the consequences. Moreover, many of them are invisible to a non-specialist.

If you do not take into account very severe cases of violence against children in the family, you can find a huge number of parents who periodically allow themselves to resort to corporal punishment. They are convinced that it is possible to hit a child on the hands or a soft spot, since such measures do not harm health, but have a good educational effect

They are convinced that it is possible to hit a child on the hands or a soft spot, since such measures do not harm health, but have a good educational effect.

However, such mothers and fathers forget that punishment can affect not only the physical, but also the psychological level.

Unwanted physical contact (slapping, poking, shaking, spanking with a belt) violates the child’s personal boundaries. He does not develop the ability to defend the limits of his “I”. That is, other people's opinions and words will have too much meaning for a grown-up person.
Based on relationships with mother and father, basic trust in the world is formed. Violence from the person closest to you becomes the cause of distrust in people, which negatively affects socialization.
Constant spanking makes a child feel humiliated, which can lead to a drop in self-esteem. And this can already lead to the loss of such important qualities as initiative, perseverance, self-esteem and perseverance.
A hitting parent sets an example of aggressive behavior. A child who has encountered the harshness of his father or mother believes that conflicts must be resolved with the help of force, threats and other aggressive acts.
If you spank children, they begin to divide all people into “victims” and “aggressors,” and subconsciously choose the appropriate role for themselves. Female victims marry aggressive members of the stronger sex, and male aggressors will suppress their wives and children through threats or physical violence.

Corporal punishment does not affect the cause of disobedience and is characterized by a short duration of action. At first, the fear of a spanking is present, but then the child adapts and continues to play on the parents’ nerves.

Why do guys like to spank girls' butts?

There are many more explanations why men like to spank girls’ buttocks, even if we do not resort to scientific interpretations. Namely:

In this way, a man compensates for his inability to dominate in a relationship;
against the backdrop of a desire to use force, but social rules, morality and boundaries, he can only do this in a similar form;
by spanking the butt, a man evaluates its elasticity, which determines the degree of sexuality and sexual activity of a girl (lack of sex and low levels of sex hormones make the butt flabby);
by the ideality of the shape of the butt, a man evaluates a woman as a potential mother for his offspring and a carrier of good genes;
in the animal world, mating is mixed with aggressive behavior of the male, which often manifests itself among people;
in this way a man expresses his sense of possessiveness towards a woman.

Sexologists say that the feeling of aggression, fear and causing pain to each other helps people increase the level of hormones in the body, blood pressure, which accompanies faster and greater sexual arousal.

How often do you spank a girl?

Not really

Key reasons for using physical punishment in the educational process

A huge number of parents use force in raising their children and do not think about the consequences this may provoke. It is customary for them to fulfill their parental duty, generously giving their children slaps on the head. Moreover, to maintain discipline, an object of intimidation - a belt, etc. - is often hung in a visible place.

What are the reasons for such furious medieval cruelty among modern mothers and fathers? There are several reasons:

Hereditary causes. Most often, parents take out their own childhood grievances on their child. Moreover, such a father or mother usually does not realize that there is an upbringing without violence. Their confidence that a slap on the head reinforces the spoken educational words in a child is unshakable,
Lack of desire, as well as time, to raise a child, conduct lengthy conversations, explain why he is wrong. After all, it is much faster and easier to hit a child than to sit down with him and talk about his misdeeds, to help him understand his own wrongness,
Lack of even basic knowledge about the process of raising children. Parents pick up a belt only out of despair and not knowing how to cope with the “little monster”
Venting out resentment and anger for one’s own failures, previous and current. Often parents beat their own child only because there is no one else to lash out at. The salary is meager, the boss is cruel, the wife does not listen, and there is also a harmful child spinning under your feet. And the parent slaps the butt for it. Moreover, the louder the child cries and the more afraid the father is, the more the father will blame the child for his own problems and failures. After all, a person needs to at least feel his own power and authority in front of someone. And the worst thing is when there is no one to stand up for the child,
Mental disorders. There are also parents who simply need to shout, spank their child, or start a showdown for no apparent reason. Next, the parent reaches the required condition, hugs the baby to himself and cries with him. Such mothers and fathers need the help of a doctor.

What is physical punishment?

Experts consider physical punishment not only the direct use of brute force to influence a child. In addition to belts, towels, slippers, slaps on the head, punishment in the corner, tugging on arms and sleeves, ignoring, force feeding or not feeding, etc. are used. But in any case, one goal is pursued - to cause pain, to demonstrate power over the child, to show him his place.

Statistics: children under 4 years of age are most often subject to physical punishment, since they cannot yet hide, defend themselves, or be indignant with the question: “Why?”

Physical influence provokes a new wave of disobedience in the child, which, in turn, leads to a new surge in the parent’s aggression. Thus, the so-called cycle of domestic violence appears.

Why spank a girl?

If you think that spanking your partner’s butt excites only you, then you are very mistaken. Every man would not refuse to spank a beautiful girl for hours, but it brings pleasure to the girls themselves no less than to men. A blow to the buttocks can increase blood flow to the butt, and accordingly to the girl’s genitals, which in turn leads to faster and stronger arousal. This means that the orgasm that the girl will experience with your spankings will be much brighter, and she will remember the sex itself for a long time.

Even if you and your partner are lovers of classic sex, butt spanking can greatly diversify your sex life. Butt spanking doesn't always mean dominance and roughness; it can be a highlight even in romantic sex.

Why doesn't the baby listen?

Psychologists have identified several reasons for children's disobedience. These include:

struggle for self-affirmation; way to attract attention; desire to contradict; feeling of uncertainty; inconsistency in education; excessive demands on the baby.

The feeling of uniqueness is inherent in all people, however, over time it can disappear. By the age of one year, the baby recognizes himself as a person who has his own opinion and position. It’s the adults who perceive him as a baby, but not he himself! This is where many children's whims and misunderstandings take their roots.

If a toddler lacks attention, he finds a way to influence adults - disobedience. A very effective way! Doing the opposite is also one of the methods of influencing a child on his parents. The reasons for this behavior may be resentment or lack of parental attention.

A feeling of self-doubt arises due to the constant tugging of the baby and irritation of parents at the slightest provocation. The little man is simply trying to defend himself and stops perceiving the mother’s constant tugging and abstracts himself.

Unsystematic upbringing occurs when a child has a lot of educators - mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, uncles and aunts. Each of the educators has his own ideas about proper upbringing, which may contradict the ideas of other family members. This style can be called “swan, crayfish and pike”. The kid simply doesn’t know what to do: some praise him, others punish him.

Some parents make simply impossible demands on the little person. This usually happens with authoritarian parents who elevate their word and power to absolutes. No one listens to the child, no one is interested in his condition - they just demand. If you do not comply with the requirement, punishment follows. Being in such an atmosphere is extremely difficult even for adults, not to mention children.

About the reaction

For everything to go well, it is important to monitor your partner’s reaction. You need to see whether she likes what is happening or not. If you hear squeaking or giggling, you need to increase the pressure. If the “victim” dodges, this is the norm.

You need to hit the lower part of the buttocks, you can hit the thighs, but you shouldn’t hit higher, in the area of the kidneys. It would be too much.

Under no circumstances should you “stick” your hand. This is a fairly common mistake among men - when they hit the buttock, for some reason they hold their hand on it. The hand should bounce off it, as if it were being struck with a whip.

There is no need to spank all the time - you need to give the “victim” time to rest. It's important for her to take a breath. In addition, it provokes anticipation, which will make the process more enjoyable. But don’t delay – pauses should be short. It is best to give 5 spanks, and then stroke and massage the buttocks, you can penetrate between them with your fingers.

Nothing turns you on more at this moment than dirty talk. For example, the “top” can praise the “victim” for his patience, or even better, remind him why the “victim” gets it. It is best if this is not a real offense, but a game situation. Alternatively, you can say: “Did you understand everything?” It is important that the questions do not require detailed answers from the “victim”.

Do girls like having their butts spanked?

In fact, a woman's reaction to a spanking on her buttocks from a man can depend on a number of factors, be it the circumstances, the degree of trust in this man and the format of the relationship between them, the girl's mood and the feelings that she has for her partner. But first of all, we can explain a girl’s behavior when I spank her on the butt based on her relationship with a man.

From a stranger

If we talk about a situation where a girl is slapped on the buttocks by a man she doesn’t know, in 90% of cases the reaction will be extremely negative. A woman will consider such an act arrogance, rudeness, sexual harassment or personal insult. Perhaps she can even complain to the relevant authorities, after which the man will be held accountable. And only in rare cases can a slap from a stranger be perceived as flirting if the girl is relaxed and at first sight she liked the young man.

At the beginning of a relationship

It’s quite an unambiguous situation when a relationship is just forming between young people, and the guy already allows himself such open gestures towards the girl. If there has not yet been intimacy between them, but the man dared to hint so openly about his passion and attraction to the girl, she can either respond with mutual flirting, or simply be shy. It all depends on the degree of sympathy at the beginning of the relationship, as well as the liberation and sexuality of both partners.

With a loved man

It’s rare when men deny themselves the pleasure of feeling all the charms of their girlfriend’s figure. The girl will have a positive attitude when her lover strokes and spanks her buttocks. This will be perceived as his desire in her direction, passion and manifestation of feelings, and also as a sign of possessiveness, like, this is my woman and she belongs to me. If there is sympathy between young people, a slap on the butt can be regarded as an impact on the erogenous zone in order to excite the girl.

Expert opinion Elena Druzhnikova Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.

As practice and statistics have shown, more than 80% of women around the world have a positive attitude towards spanking on the butt from a man. But their reaction will largely depend on the stage of the relationship with a particular man and the degree of liberation of the partners.

Girls' opinion2

On forums, ladies express their real opinions about how they really feel about being spanked by their partner:

“My buttocks are a very sensitive, erogenous zone, and I just go crazy when he spanks me. He tells me that he likes my figure, my buttocks, he is simply drawn to them like a magnet. In addition, he likes to “mash” my chest and stomach. When my husband and I start this game, I feel very sexy and I know that this game also turns him on very much.”

“When my husband touches me, I just flow. I love it when he “accidentally” spanks me somewhere at a party, on the street, or in line at a store. It immediately gives you a certain mood.”

“I don’t like spanking, because men on public transport allow themselves too much. They can pretend that they are looking for something, and at the same time grope a girl in the crowd, citing lack of space.”

Alternative measures do not work: what to do?

Many parents, reading such advice, begin to think that the authors live in some kind of parallel or ideal reality, in which the child is always obedient, and the mother is always calm and balanced.

Of course, there are situations when requests, persuasion, and explanations are not able to help calm and bring a stubborn or enraged child to a normal emotional state.

In such a situation, as some experts are sure, a light slap can switch attention and become a kind of inhibitor of a psycho-emotional surge. Naturally, the strength of the spank must be controlled (as well as your mental state)

In addition, corporal punishment (we are not talking about flogging in this case) is not excluded if:

childish behavior poses a direct threat to the life and health of the little hooligan (poking fingers into sockets, playing with fire, moving towards the road, approaching the edge of a cliff, etc.);
the child has crossed absolutely all limits of what is permitted, clearly trying to piss you off, and he does not respond to other disciplinary measures and may even behave inappropriately (see the previous paragraph).

After a light spanking, it is imperative to explain what the punishment was for and how to behave correctly. Don’t forget to also say that it is the action you don’t like, and not the child himself. You still love him.

Physiological background2

The centers of pleasure and pain are located nearby in the brain, and during sex all sensations intensify. After a spanking, the brain receives a pain signal, which is transformed into severe arousal. Muscle tension also occurs, accelerating the onset of orgasm.

Some ladies are so addicted to this type of stimulation that they get turned on by just a few spanks. Such individuals are ready for full-fledged sex within a few minutes, exposing all their holes for penetration. Sometimes such ladies can pretend that they are unpleasant, but such an unexpected acquaintance ends with violent sex.

In some cases, explaining why girls love to be spanked is easy. Such manipulations really turn men on. They feel like real males, completely subjugating a woman. From the awareness of their own superiority, representatives of the stronger sex are ready to surprise and delight their partner in bed.

For this reason, women pretend that they like such manipulations. Although most often a girl gets truly excited by the touch of a huge man’s palm on her ass. Some people are attracted to light spankings, while others have to come up with a vulgar punishment for the girl in full.

But regardless of the strength of the impact, ladies get turned on by the knowledge that these actions excite their loved one.

Why pregnant women should not be hit on the butt like an ordinary woman

A light slap will cheer up a pregnant woman; attention from a loved one is always pleasant. But a blow to the butt is painful, unpleasant, offensive

Is it possible and why shouldn’t girls be hit on the butt like a future woman?

It is undesirable to hit both a girl and a boy on the bottom. This can lead to physical and psychological injuries, which will definitely manifest themselves:

metabolic and body dysfunction (from fear, the child squeezes his throat tightly, the urinary system suffers, it is possible that he will get hit not in the butt, but in the kidneys, spine);
accumulation of feelings of defenselessness, anger, aggression and impunity of a strong person in front of a weak person, a feeling of humiliation.

You can often see an indignant mother on the street spanking her bawling baby on the butt. This common method of education is firmly rooted in our society and is considered a necessary measure of influence on a disobedient child. Is it possible to hit a child on the bottom, and what do psychologists say about this?

As soon as the toddler begins to move independently on his legs, he is inevitably exposed to educational influence from adults. "Do not go there! Don't pick up the poop! Get away from the TV! — the baby does something wrong all day long. What are the types of educational measures?

Throughout its history of development, humanity has formed three educational methods:

authoritarian;
democratic;
mixed.

In the first case, the child is subjected to training or drilling: he is obliged to accurately carry out all the orders of adults, otherwise he will be punished. The baby gets used to this educational style. It’s good if it is not accompanied by physical suggestions.

The democratic method involves communicating with the little one, giving him the right to express his opinion and defend his position. Parents who spare no effort in the educational process are ready for this style of communication and want to form a holistic personality with a sense of human dignity out of the child.

Additional Tips

Spank so that your palm is parallel to your butt. This is what will help you make sharp blows and will greatly excite your partner. After you spank, try to immediately remove your palm from your buttock.
Once you see your girlfriend's bottom turning red, that means you can increase the strength of the spanking. Redness of the buttocks means that the muscles are warmed up, which means you can increase your strength without fear of hurting your partner.
Try to spank rhythmically. If you perform the same spanks, your blows will become predictable for the girl, the girl will know what to expect, which means she will no longer be so interested. If you try to spank rhythmically, with different strength and speed, then she will get maximum pleasure from this unpredictability.
You can try the technique of combining spanking with stroking. Show your imagination and don't forget that you have two hands. With one hand you can spank your partner, and with the other hand you can put on a condom, or stimulate her clitoris, or gently grab her hair. You can spank, then gently stroke the girl's buttocks for a couple of minutes, then do a few rough spanks again. Experiment.
If you want to try spanking your partner with a belt, we recommend that you first try the force of the blows on yourself. It is important to feel the line where the girl will still be pleased, and what line she should not cross, because it will only hurt.

It is imperative that this process brings pleasure to both participants in the process. In order for spanking to bring maximum pleasure to both partners, it is advisable to do it in the appropriate mood. In addition, during such sex games, you can use additional dirty words, which will only warm up the atmosphere. You don’t have to practice spanking during every sex, do it the way you and your girlfriend like it.

Physical effects of corporal punishment

Very often, corporal punishment leads to physical injury to your child. This is due to the fact that many parents do not calculate their strength when punishing their children. Getting used to slaps on the butt occurs, especially if they are used every day. This leads to the fact that the child’s behavior does not change, and the strength of bodily influences increases. The result is severe bodily injury.

Without controlling himself, a parent is capable of causing injury to a child that is incompatible with his life. And then punishing children will lead to disastrous consequences. Cuffs and slaps on the head cause the baby to hit a sharp corner or other objects in the house.

Physical consequences can manifest themselves in the form of enuresis, various tics, encopresis, etc. Don't hit children, be more reasonable! After all, the child is several times smaller than you.

Punishing children with a belt

Unfortunately, for many parents in certain situations, the belt is a kind of lifesaver. Is it possible to hit a child with a belt?

? Yes, with the help of this item you can easily calm the baby and in subsequent cases you just need to show the belt and he will quickly calm down. But can good, strong and warm family relationships between parents and children be built in this way? Naturally not. Undoubtedly, such methods can achieve an effect, but only temporary. What will happen when the baby grows up and stops being afraid of a strict parent? It is unlikely that he will treat you with respect and understanding. Therefore, in order to avoid such disastrous consequences in the future, mothers and fathers should now think about the correctness of their parenting methods.

Many parents make the excuse “at one time I was raised with a belt, and nothing - I’m alive and well and nothing will happen to my child.” But tell me, do you remember such moments with warmth and love? How did you feel at the time when your parents were “diligently” raising you: betrayal, pain, disappointment? Would you like your child to experience the same? Most likely no. And besides, each child is an individual and you cannot be completely sure that he will survive this type of punishment normally.

Hitting children on the butt with a belt

- this is not a way of education, but one of the types of humiliation that undermines trusting relationships in the family and is characterized by disrespect for the child’s personality.

Psychologists say that it is unacceptable to hit children. Komarovsky E.O. is also not a supporter of such methods. To learn more about the opinion of the doctor and other specialists, we suggest you watch this video:

What to do if a guy hits?

Hello. My boyfriend lives in another city, alone, his mother provides for him. I often come to visit him. I clean for him, cook, wash, make him feel cozy and comfortable, i.e. all the duties of a wife, even though we are just dating. Everything would be fine, but I just noticed that every time I visit he becomes more and more aggressive. She breaks down at random, starts swearing heavily, calls me a fallen woman, only in a rude manner. And the last time I almost killed him. It all started with the fact that I gave him a surprise. I ordered rolls to take home, lit candles, and laid out rose petals. He liked everything. We had a wonderful time. Then they lay down. And then it all began. He started telling me that I was buying the wrong chicken and the wrong pasta. He said that he would buy it himself from now on. I agreed. Then a few minutes later he started again. Just the other day, I called his mom and said that he didn’t have normal slippers or underpants, they were all torn. She told me to buy it for him, and then she would give me the money when I returned home. I bought slippers, but there was a big problem with the panties. He started speaking, saying that I would buy it myself, but knowing that he wouldn’t do it, I went and bought it myself. And so he began: Here you are, so blue, begging my mother for money for panties, she doesn’t have any money right now, and stuff like that. It ended with him barely making ends meet, saying his mother only gave him 3-5 thousand rubles. sends him a month (then I asked his mother, she said that he was lying, she sends him 11 thousand rubles, for clothes and utilities separately (they rent an apartment), it turns out 11 thousand rubles only for food). Then he went to play on the computer and put on headphones. I decided to come over and make peace. I come up, start taking off my headphones, he starts snapping, and he took me by the butt and squeezed me hard, I burst into tears and ran away. Then I come again, to make peace again. Again I try to take off my headphones, he snaps back in the same way, starts hitting my hands, and then he tells me: show me your pussy. I hit him in the face for this, burst into tears and ran into the next room. After a while I come back and tell him: go to another room, I don’t want to see you. What he says: wait 5 minutes. Me: no, go away now. I’m trying to pick up the laptop... He attacks me. He throws himself onto the bed as hard as he can (my weight is 52 kg, his is 100 kg, and he is a weightlifter, bench presses 155 kg). He knocked me down and started hitting me on the butt very painfully. I started screaming and crying. She stood up and I attacked him with my fists. He knocked me down again, first hit me in the face, then accidentally hit me with his knee in the stomach and again, with all his might, began hitting me on the butt. I screamed very hard, it hurt. Then I rolled onto the floor and began to crawl towards the radiator and the chair to hide. While I was crawling, he poured cold water on me. Then, when I began to struggle, he hit me on the butt again and began dragging me onto the bed by my arms and legs. Then he picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. First he started pouring cold water on me, then he turned on warm water. Then he pulled me to my feet, and I was wearing a long white T-shirt. She began to show through and her breasts became visible, and he pointed at her and laughed. Then he took me to the room and put me to bed. In the morning, as if nothing had happened, I began to get ready for school. I fed him. And he says to me: can I tell my friend what happened here yesterday - he and I will laugh. And when he left he added: look, the Internet has been turned off, at least now the house will be clean. As soon as he left, I called his mother and told him what happened, she said that the same thing was happening at home, except for assault. And she said that he could easily kill me. And then before I left, she called me every half hour (every other day I had a train). And then, when he returned from school, his love for me awoke, he began to swear his love until he left. Then he took me to the train. When I had already left, I called once on the train and said that I missed you. And so I arrived today, he called, I picked up the phone and said that I was on a call right now, but I couldn’t talk. So he called back an hour later, I didn’t answer. He called back an hour later, I didn’t pick up again. And he wrote an SMS: call me when you are free. No please, just call. And now I don’t know what to do, how to communicate with this person, pick up the phone or he will understand everything himself. Although yesterday his mother called him and said that the neighbors called her and said that there was a fight in his apartment (so as not to give away that I told her this). and he answered her: don’t interfere, we’ll figure it out ourselves, I need her, I feel good with her. Dear experts, please tell me what to do in this situation? I’m very offended that a man did this, and then said that I deserved it all, and he didn’t beat me, he just spanked me

Law in Russia and the world

In the European Union today, the rules of behavior in the family are very strict. And not only neighbors and colleagues, but also the children themselves can complain about their parents’ behavior. Whether this is good, whether it is useful for society as a whole, we will be able to judge after some time, but for now this is simply the legislative and social experience of other countries.

In Russia they take a more traditional approach. Physical abuse of children is prohibited, but spanking the butt on an irregular basis will not send you to prison, and they will not even hint at parental illiteracy. At the same time, causing physical harm to other people, and especially minors, is punished strictly by the law, as Madina Sunyaeva explains.

Both the victim (if the child or teenager is so brave) and the intermediary - a school psychologist, neighbor, relative - can contact the police. If the beating is removed, a criminal case begins. In general, such a step is a step off a cliff; then, as a rule, the child will face life without a tyrant-offender, or outside this family (if the parents are deprived of their rights to raise).

The consequences of physical punishment in different children

The cumulative consequences depend on the complete innate set of vectors. For example:

Holders of the visual vector have a huge emotional range. Their moods are changeable, tears are close to them. If you physically punish such children, they suffer from fears and phobias, become hysterical and anxious.

Those with the sound vector are self-absorbed; they are natural introverts. Adults can get upset when such kids simply don’t hear them, and they have to repeat everything over and over again. When a sound artist loses his sense of security and safety, he withdraws even deeper into himself. Up to loss of contact with the outside world and mental illness (schizophrenia, autism). He is especially affected by the screaming that often accompanies punishment. It causes irreparable damage to the psyche due to the special sensitivity of the little sound player’s ears.

Slow, thorough carriers of the anal vector are by nature the most obedient and loyal daughters and sons. But when they grow up in a rhythm that is uncomfortable for themselves (they are rushed, interrupted, pushed on), then they can be stubborn, touchy, and argumentative. And for this reason they fall under the hot hand of adults. With physical punishment, they develop a very difficult life scenario: resentment towards their mother. And already an adult sees the whole world in black: he is offended by everyone, thinks that he has not been given enough, is not respected, is not appreciated.

Any child receives psychological trauma from beating. Modern children have a much larger psyche than the previous generation. And the susceptibility to any influence is much subtler. So is it okay for parents to hit their children? Just know that today beaten children are the killed future.

Is it possible to hit children on the hands?

More often than others, those guys who have particularly “handy” hands from birth get their hands on the hand. They grab everything they can reach. At the age of about a year, walking begins, and it becomes difficult for mother. Such a baby explores the world in a tactile way: he needs to grab, touch, touch any thing.

We're talking about guys with the skin vector. The skin is their hypersensitive area. They feel any touch many times more vividly than others. They are nimble, agile, nimble, they cannot sit still. They are attracted and interested in everything new.

This baby loves to be stroked, scratched, and massaged. When physically punished, the little skinner experiences excruciating pain and mental stress. When adults try to spank him and generally beat him in any way, this pain is orders of magnitude higher than that of others.

The effects of physical punishment on skin babies

When overstressed, the brain produces opiates to relieve unbearable pain. Pain - opiates - internal balance. If physical punishment is repeated, over time the child becomes dependent on opiates. He behaves provocatively: as if he deliberately “runs into” flip flops or a belt. Only after the beating does he calm down - he has received his release, his dose of opiates.

This makes family life unbearable, but not only that. A broken skin baby receives colossal damage to his future fate:

There is a desire to steal, steal (sometimes kleptomania). This is due to the fact that the social role of such a person in adulthood is that of a breadwinner. In order to preserve itself in conditions of super-stress, the psyche “launches” the process of fulfilling an adult role too early. But the child still cannot obtain or earn money and begins to steal.
The hidden desire to receive pain distorts the entire life scenario. A girl with such psychological trauma unconsciously chooses potential sadists or other dysfunctional relationships in which she suffers as partners. She has a scenario for failure in a couple relationship. For boys, the scenario for failure manifests itself in social realization. With high ambitions, such a person is pathologically unable to achieve his goals.

Myths and legends about beating

Skin guys don't just get a slap on the wrist. Often adults do not know how to calm them down and calm them down: the baby looks insane and hyperactive. Most of the questions - is it possible to hit a child on the bottom, is it possible to hit children with a belt and in some other way - are asked by the parents of children with skin problems. They are trying to find at least some acceptable forms of punishment.

But there are no compromises here: all the skin of such a child is hypersensitive. The form of physical punishment does not matter. If you do not want to cause irreparable damage to the development and fate of the child, you cannot beat him.

There is another parental attempt to find a compromise: adults often ask whether it is possible to hit a child on the butt with your hand or, better yet, with a belt and other objects. There is a legend that pain should not be inflicted by the hand of a loved one, and an inanimate object is not so scary. Surely you have already realized that this is also a baseless myth. Pain is always a loss of security and safety. You already know what consequences this causes to the haptic nimble. What about other kids?

When is it okay to spank?

There are a lot of options when exactly you can spank a girl and it all depends on your and your partner’s preferences. For example:

Spanking during psychological play in BDSM style. In this option, you and your partner can play sexual dominance and submission. Positive dominance with trust excites many girls. During complete submission, a girl may feel weak and small, all responsibility for what is happening is removed from her and she simply enjoys sexual play. During such BDSM games, you can spank her with your palm or a whip.
Spanking can become an element of foreplay. Try to use your imagination and just spank. You can approach your partner and say that she did not wash the dishes well and for this you want to punish her severely. Take the girl to the bedroom, put her on your lap and spank her tight asses for as long as you both want.
Spanking as an element of hard and passionate sex. What could be better than spanking your girlfriend during emotional rough sex or even anal sex when you are both happy and enjoying the process.

IMPORTANT! There are a lot of options when you can spank your partner. However, the most important thing that is always advisable to observe is the consent of both partners. Spank your girlfriend only when she is also not against such games.