How to punish a man for an offense - advice from a psychologist

Francis Scott Fitzgerald said: “Women are fragile creatures. Once you hurt them, there is no way to fix it...” Yes, the fair sex is so vulnerable that the consequences of mental wounds can have the most unpredictable consequences. For a man, of course. So, what is the best way to punish a person and take revenge on him for all the insults.

Revenge strategy

Before taking revenge on the man who offended you, look at the situation from different angles to calculate the possible outcome. To do this you need to cool down. Perhaps yesterday the partner’s action seemed like the beginning of the end, but today the offended party will perceive it differently.

Psychologists do not advise taking revenge on a man for grievances if a woman continues to be in a relationship with him, since war is a fiasco. But if simple conversations and logical arguments are not able to change anything, and the strength to resist the blank wall has run out, it’s time to choose a punishment for the negligent man. What it will be depends on the extent of the damage caused to you.

Before deciding on a course of action, think over a punishment plan. To do this, think about all the options for the outcome of your planned revenge, weigh all the pros and cons, try to predict your man’s reaction. If he has a hot temper, think twice about whether revenge will bring you serious harm.

Proceed with action only when everything is weighed and sorted.

Bandage and discipline3

A very erotic and very popular method of punishment in BDSM. It is generally accepted that this art (some consider bondage to be art) came to the BDSM culture from Japan. During feudal wars, there was often a need to bind and hold the enemy without causing him physical harm. Most often, noble captives were tied up this way.

There were other types of binding that were used as torture. It is not known from what type of binding, for torture or for restraint, the modern bandage originated. Only one thing is known: the Japanese, original and sophisticated guys, were able to discern a special aesthetics in the interweaving of ropes and knots. And when artists got down to business, bondage was elevated to the rank of art and began to have an erotic character.

Everything is used: ropes, belts, handcuffs, chains, collars, tight corsets and even special devices. There is also room for creativity and self-expression here. So many types of bandages have been invented that there is enough for a separate scientific treatise, and even in several volumes. It’s not for nothing that master classes on bandages always enjoy constant popularity among connoisseurs and amateurs.

Bandages are divided according to the degree of restriction of freedom, according to the technique used, and according to the materials used. They are usually used as part of BDSM - a practice to complement and enhance the impact. This is due to the fact that limited mobility is a real fetish for many and only enhances the thrill and pleasure of what is happening.

For such instances, you can use a bandage in an awkward position or come up with something exotic, for example, use special devices for the bandage: pads, cages, a vacuum bed or a sleeve. If you want to increase the impact, you can add restrictions on the ability to use vision, hearing or touch.

Methods of punishment

Psychologists advise not to play cat and mouse, but to openly express your grievances. But this only works when a man adequately perceives criticism addressed to him, enters into a constructive dialogue, or is ready to change. It is extremely difficult to meet such a person, so usually all conversations end in silence, protest, mutual accusations or scandal. What can a woman do who cannot express her grievances in words? That's right, describe this resentment with action.

In positive psychotherapy, N. Pezeshkian divides punishment into the following spheres: the sphere of achievement (boycott, refusal to perform household duties), the “bodily” (ignoring a partner, coldness), the sphere of reason (disrespect, slander) and contact (indifference, severance of relationships).

Let's consider punishment options from all four areas. So, how to punish a man for being offended.

Ignoring

Ignoring is one of the most effective ways to punish a negligent man for his grievances. Do you live in the same territory with him and are already tired of chronic disrespect in your direction? Tell him that from now on you will stop entering into dialogue with those who allow themselves to offend the woman they love. Keep your word. If you want to say something, write notes or SMS. Men's psychology is such that they need live communication, support, affection, and attention. If this is not given, it knocks the ground out from under even the strongest male.

If you have been betrayed, gather all your will into a fist. Your weapon is complete disregard for human existence. What could be worse for a self-confident man than admitting there is emptiness in his life. You must lie down, but become a successful, beautiful, independent, happy girl. You need willpower and cunning. Ignore any attempts by your once beloved boyfriend to talk to you, call you, write to you, or see you off. Punish the man with a disinterested look.

Book a photo session with a photographer, change your image, lose weight. Maintain your page actively, update it only with positive songs, pictures and statuses. Upload more pictures of you surrounded by young people, in new places, with a full expression of delight on your face. Believe me, men are only pretending when they express skepticism about your changes. In fact, everything inside them is seething with the thought that you are doing just fine without such a cool, successful, irreplaceable chosen one.

Yes, it will be harder done than said. However, remember that you will only punish a man for being offended when he feels disappointed. He knows that you lead an active life, don’t cry into your pillow, have made new friends, and have stopped holding on to the past. Now the once strong chosen one is crushed, offended and punished.

If you want to punish a man for inattention, then ignore sexual intimacy. An intimate boycott is a great way for representatives of the stronger sex to quickly realize their mistakes and prevent them from happening in the future.

Indifference

Such punishment differs from ignoring it in that in this case you have no intention of attracting the attention of the offender. Ignoring is manipulating a person through deliberate avoidance. Indifference has greater power. All you need to do to punish a man for the offense he caused is to live your life. Yes, you work on yourself, but you don’t put it on display. On social networks, post statuses that show your neutral mood: “Thanks to Dasha for the new manicure,” “Coursework on marketing is unexpectedly promising!”, “Vaska again decided to sharpen his claws on a new chair.” Your strength is in serenity and carefreeness!

If you had to go to an event where there will be a careless companion, behave as calmly as possible. Say hello to him if the situation requires, smile, don’t be afraid to look him in the eyes. But... this look should be the only one, then move on with your life. Chat with people, laugh, just behave as naturally as possible. Believe me, he will be fully punished by your indifference!

If you live with a man in the same territory, it would be appropriate to leave home. Your goal is to teach a lesson, punish a man, show the possible outcome of such behavior/attitude towards you. When your chosen one realizes his mistake, do not immediately run towards him, let this be an instructive lesson in the future.

If there is still love between you, be careful when choosing this punishment tactic. Be fair, otherwise you risk destroying the union.

Mirroring

The mirroring method is effective in all cases except adultery. It consists in letting a man feel pain, resentment, and disappointment through similar behavior. For example, an unfulfilled promise in return will help to take revenge on a guy for an unfulfilled promise. If he lied, you will have to do the same. “Oleg, I was dishonest with you. I said that the corporate party ended late, but in fact my colleagues and I just went to the club, and I didn’t keep track of the time at all.” There is nothing terrible in this news, but the man will experience resentment and other angry feelings for deception. Later, reveal the truth, emphasizing the importance of trust in the alliance. Explain that his pain is your pain. This is how it should be in a union.

Agree to switch roles for a day. This is a great way to see and understand each other's mistakes. Hang up on a man’s calls, just as he does to you, show up from work a couple of hours later, skip a swear word during a conversation, and occupy your computer with a game for the whole evening. Yes, the husband can become angry, angry, offended, twitchy, but sometimes the best way to punish for insults is to use the “mirror”. Your goal is to make him feel like he is in the shoes of his other half.

We hit where it hurts

When a man whom a woman loves with all her soul causes serious damage to her mental health, out of resentment she wants to hit back as painfully as possible. To punish, you need to know what the offender values. If his reputation is important to him, create a page on social networks on behalf of some girl with whom he spent a drunken night of love 3 years ago. Tell him that you gave birth to a child from him, let him worry. You can chat, or you can quickly disappear, in any case, you have already punished the irresponsible ladies' man.

If he is a gambling addict, lower the rating in his favorite game, sell the tank that the man has been building for a month, introduce a harmless virus into his laptop. If the car is of great value to him, valerian or bread crumbs will come to the rescue. Let cats and birds also fall in love with the offender’s car. You can also lose fishing hooks, a PC stylus, or an important work document.

If your spouse offends you, you can punish him by giving him a comic certificate for special self-improvement training. Do this with the words: “Darling, I read in a psychology book that only self-doubt (childhood trauma/infancy/inability to rational thinking) makes men offend their chosen ones. I give this to you and hope for your speedy healing.” Of course, your husband will be angry at such a joke, but your words will have the desired effect.

"Coincidence"

This type of punishment is suitable when a man is too vulnerable/aggressive or you simply don’t want to spoil your relationship with him. To do this, it is enough to adjust situations when he experiences discomfort for reasons beyond your control. For example, he greatly offended you by making you out to be a bad housewife. Let the migraine overcome you in a couple of days. Severe, prolonged headache, for which neither pills, nor massages, nor injections help. Let it last for 3 days, and the man remains in charge of the house. He has a responsibility, whether he wants it or not.

Let your back catch you or your boss load you up to your neck with work. Of course, there can be no talk of sex or bathing children. “I’m sorry, dear, that I can’t help you now. I am very grateful for what you are doing” or “I ask you, take a walk with your daughter outside, I need to lie in silence for a couple of hours.” And the relationship is not damaged, and you will take it out on him for all the grievances.

Small dirty tricks

“I have no idea how this happened!” - this is what helps to take revenge on a man for all the insults caused! You didn't do it on purpose, did you? Quite by accident, my favorite white T-shirt ended up in the washing machine with a red towel! Why does my husband have an intestinal disorder, since everyone ate from the same pan? “Why did half of the body turn chocolate color? Oh, I should have confused massage oil with self-tanner yesterday! Sorry, forgive me!”, “Is the casserole too salty? Wow, you’ve been asking for it for so long!”, “Where did the shoelace go? Richard probably stole it, but don’t punish the tailed prankster too much”...

If the offense is too deep and you want to properly punish the man, place advertisements of various types on numerous resources with the phone number of your chosen one. Advertisements/sections can be absolutely diverse: sushi delivery, handyman, volunteering, master of any complexity, buying Pekingese puppies, wedding photographer, etc. Of course, he will be beside himself with numerous strange calls.

Low blows

Low blows are suitable for those ladies who have seriously suffered at the hands (and not only) of a dishonest man. Damaging your partner’s sexual/business reputation will help you vent your grievances and punish the offender.

Punish, but “for fun”

It is worth distinguishing between punishment in a game form and real punishment. Play punishment is a make-believe punishment. The one who punishes pretends that it is punishment, and the one who is punished pretends to suffer or actually experiences it, but receives more pleasure. Play punishment is part of role-playing behavior and nothing more.

With real punishments everything is much more serious. Usually such punishments are the reaction of the Superior to the slave’s misbehavior. This means that they must be at least unpleasant for this slave.

To punish with a spanking someone who craves a spanking is very original. But where is the punishment here? BDSM Submissives perceive punishment as the attention and care of the Master, and masochists generally enjoy physical pain.

Some bottoms deliberately commit minor offenses, and then with tears in their eyes and a whip in their hands, they pray to the top for punishment. Actually, this is a manipulation with which the slave tries to control the Master’s actions. For such “smart” people there is even a special term HZHM - smart-ass masochist.

And how to punish them? It is also impossible not to punish: the bottom may be offended and ask himself a question about the benefits of such a relationship. So the dominant has to come up with new ways of punishment. Therefore, it is almost impossible to talk about all existing methods of punishment in BDSM. Everyone raises a slave to the best of their imagination. However, there are also “classics of the genre” and something that has simply become popular.

If a man has cheated or is already dating another woman

You want to punish the cheater in a special way, so that he feels all the pain and resentment of the abandoned half. The best way to prick such a man is to sincerely rejoice at the fact of betrayal. “To be honest, I’m glad it all happened this way, and it was you who initiated the breakup. I stopped loving you a long time ago (I never really loved you), but I never had the courage to admit it to you,” “I’ve been looking for a reason to break up with you for a long time, because I fell in love with another man a long time ago, I’m sorry. But I truly wish you happiness, you deserve sincere love.” When a man hears such words, he experiences a whole range of feelings: anger, misunderstanding, disappointment, wild resentment. Therefore, no matter how much it hurts you, swallow your tears and say in an even voice what will morally finish off the traitor.

If he not only cheated, but is already in a relationship with another woman, try to punish the man by starting an affair with one of your mutual friends. This always hits below the belt.

Or you can punish a guy for insults through a new chosen one:

Tell the girl (if she is adequate) about the guy’s actions, his character, bad behavior, etc. Even if she doesn’t believe it “here and now,” you will make her constantly think about it.
If your new crush won’t listen to you or you simply don’t want to interfere in their relationship, ask an old mutual friend to do it for you. Surely you still have best friends from your previous company, right? Let the bravest and most talkative one slowly tell her new lover all the passions of your relationship and separation.
If you are not afraid of scandals, act directly. You can punish a man for grievances by sending his new lover letters that he once dedicated to you. Jealousy has no expiration date, it is the weakness of every woman. Nothing will be lost from you, but a scandal will break out there.
Create a real page with a photo of some stunning girl. Slowly join groups that a man is interested in, comment on his posts, flirt with him, ask to be his friend. Do not skimp on compliments, ambiguous phrases, exciting photographs. Everything he answers can act as compromising evidence for his relationship.

Or you can punish a traitor through a virtual page, killing a man’s self-esteem. Communicate, flirt, but then abruptly cut off communication. Just write goodbye: “Damn, you’re kind of boring. If I hadn’t seen your age, I would have thought that I was dealing with an 83-year-old man,” “I can’t stand narrow-minded people. No, someone also likes such guys, but it’s definitely not me.” Or you can play further with this page and make an appointment in a month. Make an appointment... and show up there yourself.

Now there are also many groups on the Internet that help punish female abusers. You join, tell your story, give your phone number and enjoy the result. They call the cheater at any time of the day or night, write intimate SMS from different numbers, lie in wait for his passion, can annoy him on social networks, etc. Such men then live a bitter life.

You can also write sweet letters from unfamiliar numbers in the evenings: “Thank you for that night,” “When will you come again?”, “You forgot something with me last time,” etc. Scenes of jealousy and tears in a couple are guaranteed . It’s a pity, of course, that another girl suffers for your grievances, but you will definitely be able to punish the man.

What is revenge in a love relationship?

Revenge in love has its own distinctive characteristics that cannot be compared with ordinary revenge on a colleague, friend or rivals. It is largely driven by the desire to restore justice, because the girl feels offended by the action of her beloved man, and her self-esteem is greatly hurt. And such revenge is, first of all, an attempt to show a man what kind of girl he lost or offended, and how he should regret his decision. Revenge in a love relationship manifests itself especially well in the case of a man’s betrayal - here it is very important for a girl to get a feeling of satisfaction after what happened, to hurt the man in such a way that he would feel even more unpleasant than she would from the betrayal. At the same time, we should not forget that in some cases, instead of revenge, it is better to choose a break in the relationship or completely forget about this man and not waste your time and nerves on him. For example, if a man uses physical force on a girl, does not value her personal development, or constantly makes her feel guilty about something.

When to take revenge and when to forgive

Depending on the severity of the case, sometimes it will be more correct to forgive your loved one, and sometimes you simply cannot do without revenge. If the reason for your problematic situation is not too complex and serious (a simple quarrel over trifles, a breakup due to the fact that you do not get along in character), you should not waste your energy and nerves here for the sake of revenge. It is worth taking revenge in those situations when a loved one treated you rudely and unforgivably, humiliated your dignity or disgraced you.

Revenge is needed in order to calm your own soul, so if the desire for revenge constantly bothers you and does not allow you to sleep peacefully, it is better to do it. If there is no particularly burning desire, but only those around you advise you to take revenge, or such a thought accidentally arises, it means that this is not so important for you and you do not need to waste your time on such an activity. Therefore, before you begin to take revenge, you need to sit down and carefully weigh all the pros and cons. Whichever side wins in the end is the side you should stand on.

A psychologist's advice will help you cope with the desire for revenge.

Psychologists say a lot about revenge. Before taking revenge, psychologists recommend sitting down and thoroughly remembering how many warm and kind moments there were between you. If the amount of happiness in your relationship far outweighs the pain of resentment or separation, revenge is inappropriate. It is better to understand and let go of your loved one if it is too difficult to come to terms with the insult received. Experts also advise to first find out whether there really is grounds for revenge. The fact is that sometimes we make mistakes in our judgments, mistakenly believe the words of strangers who envy our happiness, etc. For example, some girls begin to take revenge on a guy for cheating, and then it turns out that there was no cheating - this there was gossip from rivals or envious women.

What not to do

In an obsessive desire to punish the offender, women often do stupid things, for which they later pay bitterly. This is because they are driven by anger, which blocks the mind.

So, what not to do in pursuit of revenge:

damage someone else's property (scratch a car, break into an apartment, beat equipment in a fit of anger, set fire to his office), for this you can be held accountable;
injure a negligent man;
lose your own dignity in the desire to prick the cheater (cheat in response);
take revenge on a rival (pursue, threaten, ruin her life);
punish a man through feelings of guilt (try to commit suicide);
involving innocent people (parents, children, loved ones) in this is unjustified cruelty on your part.

Revenge is still destructive. It can significantly spoil not only the reputation, but also the lives of people. Both for you (if you are obsessed with this feeling) and for the partner who once behaved wrongly. Psychologists advise punishing the offender only if there is no other way to let go of the situation. And if you let off steam through punishment, then only in such a way that it does not harm anyone. It will only be enough for a man to hurt his feelings and deal a blow to his male pride. Everything else is superfluous.

How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? Advice from psychologists: gather your thoughts

It is, of course, unpleasant for every woman to hear insults addressed to her. Naturally, there is a desire to insult in return or completely stop communicating with this person forever. The situation is completely different when humiliation and insults come from one’s own spouse. Firstly, his words hurt much more painfully. After all, he knows perfectly well how and where to “hit” you with a word in order to hurt and hook you more precisely. Secondly, leaving and not returning is much more difficult. You are still connected by marriage, children, friends and relatives, common living space, financial dependence. Thinking about what to do in this situation, a woman, as a rule, begins to rush from side to side. But he can’t decide on a certain rational action. This can go on for years. But this is simply unbearable. You need to figure out how to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. The advice of psychologists in this case will be very helpful. First of all, you need to decide not “what to do,” but “what will happen if you do something, but incorrectly.”

Flagellation process

For the first experiment it is not necessary to use professional tools. Due to your inexperience, you may inadvertently hurt your partner. Your palm is a good place to start. You need to spank backhand, but adjusting the force of the blow. The sound will be resonant, marks of passion will appear on the skin, which will disappear in about half an hour. A comfortable position during flagellation plays an important role.

The most comfortable position is to place your partner on the bed with their back up, placing a pillow under their hips to slightly raise their buttocks.

During spanking, you can lightly humiliate your partner to make the game more vivid. Flagellation is a process of domination of the moral, not the physical. Once you have mastered the skill of using your palm, you can buy a whip. There are quite a few varieties, but you still need to start with a flogger.

A flogger is a whip with at least 40 tails. They look very menacing, but the blows are quite soft and leave virtually no marks. You can hit the back, stomach, legs, buttocks. Experienced craftsmen use this type of whip for warming up.

You can also use an officer's belt for spanking - it is much tougher than a flogger, so you should calculate the force of the blow and never use a buckle. The blows with the belt are short-term and sporadic.

The pain from them is much stronger than from any other lashes. For inexperienced people, these devices can cause considerable harm.

Video: How to punish a man with silence. Ruslan Narushevich

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