So you like her. Very. And you can't think about anything but her. But the question is: how to invite a girl on a date in such a way as to guarantee a positive response on her part? We hasten to disappoint you - this method does not exist.
No matter how good you are or what strategy you choose, the girl may simply not be interested in you specifically or in dating/relationships in general.
But until you ask, you won’t know the answer, and we suggest that you familiarize yourself with the guide, which, although it cannot guarantee her consent, will definitely increase your chances of success.
The best ways to ask a girl out: how to avoid getting rejected
Let’s make a reservation right away: refusal is still possible. Even if you do everything perfectly, the girl may have reasons to refuse a meeting. But nevertheless, the more competently you act, the higher the likelihood of agreement. Here are a few rules to help you get consent:
- Be polite. Communicate with the girl carefully and courteously. Give the impression of a pleasant person. This is the basis of her consent.
- Take your time. Don't suggest meeting until you've gotten to know each other better and talked for a while. You need to allow confident sympathy to arise - by experiencing it, the girl is more likely to agree.
- Think about the meeting. Where will you go, what will you do, what will you talk about. If you manage to improvise with the latter, the first two points should be prepared in advance to avoid awkwardness on the spot.
- Choose the correct wording. Since you will receive an answer immediately after this, it is important to say something that will not kill all previous efforts and will persuade the girl to agree.
We will help you with the wording - Don't push. If a girl has doubts, she needs to properly ask the reason for her doubts and convince her that the idea is harmless and safe. But you shouldn’t just rigidly stick to your line: this will convince the girl that her doubts were not in vain.
Don't ask a girl what she wants to do
So, you were incredible, persuasive, effective, seductive, and made an appointment. And at this moment - do not make a fatal mistake that will nullify all your efforts.
If a guy asks a girl “What would you like to do” or “Where would you like to go” - the girl will most likely lose confidence and begin to slowly crawl towards the exit.
Girls do not like to take responsibility and make decisions. The girl wants a smart, handsome and strong man (like you, of course) to decide everything for her, to come up with everything, and for her to surrender to the will of the winner.
The girl wants to relax and enjoy the fact that nothing depends on her, and she is a victim of circumstances. In addition, the girl diligently avoids any responsibility. And when a guy asks: “What would you like to do,” for a girl this means only one thing: they are trying to shift responsibility onto her. And she is asked to make a decision. What any normal girl categorically does not want.
Whatever she would like to do, she will do just fine without you. She wants her to be an obedient little girl next to you. Well, she’s curious - what kind of perverted thing did you come up with, you naughty guy.
So - after you've agreed on a date and time - don't ask her what she'd like. Instead, think about what you would like.
If the girl still has an idea on how to spend your date, be sure to think about whether you can seduce this particular girl if you spend the date the way the girl wants. If the activity that the girl offers does not contribute to seduction, then it is better to reschedule the date. Or persistently offer your option.
What you should not do with a girl (at least until you have seduced her):
- Go to the cinema (it’s dark and you can’t talk);
- Go to a nightclub (where the girl will jump on you and someone else will seduce her);
- Go hiking (especially in a group);
- Go to a friend's birthday party;
- Go to a meeting of her friends;
- Go shopping;
- Play sports in her group;
- Go to the party.
These activities violate the prerequisites for a date (at least until you get laid):
- Minimum costs;
- Opportunity to get to know her better (talk);
- Just for the two of you;
- An opportunity to start seduction.
Therefore, the ideal place for a date:
- Cafe (better near your home);
- At your home (cook a meal, watch a movie, play a video game);
- In the park (it is advisable to get away from people).
The most important thing is that your date takes place according to your rules, in a place where you feel comfortable and confident, and where you have been many times. Only in this case will you be confident, relaxed, and feel at ease. These emotions will be read by the girl, and she will relax too. Which is exactly what you need.
It is very important for a girl to feel completely safe. And if you get nervous and constantly look around, the girl will also start to worry, not understanding what is happening. And the date will go so-so.
How to prepare for a date
You have chosen the best place for a date. We received the cherished consent. The meeting is scheduled. What to do now? Make sure everything goes at the highest level.
- Think over the program . Where you can drink coffee, where the places are picturesque enough for a walk, what movie to watch, if we are talking about cinema. You can include something original in the form of a walk on the rooftops, riding attractions or horses.
- Take care of your budget : in our country it is customary to pay for girls on dates. This happens in most cases, and the girl may be offended if she has to pay for herself.
- Think about the appearance . It should suit the occasion: if you are going to the theater, dress more formally; if you have planned some active entertainment, choose something comfortable. Clothing must be clean and tidy. Hairstyle - neat. Choose a pleasant, unobtrusive perfume.
- If you want to achieve maximum favor with a girl , come up with a small gift or give flowers.
- Think about topics for conversation : what you want to ask, what you will tell about yourself. The conversation will probably develop on its own, but it’s better to have a couple of trump cards in case of awkward silence or to find out something about the girl that you would already like to ask.
Transition to plan "B"8
Not having backup options for a date is carelessness. And we are not talking about the fact that there should be 33 more candidates in the notebook in case of refusal. It is necessary to calculate and assume force majeure circumstances:
- Sudden deterioration in weather. This means that in addition to an umbrella, you need to know the location of the nearest cafes in order not only to shelter from the rain, but also to have dinner
- The girl is not hungry. This could also happen. Accordingly, you need to go on a date well-fed and think in advance about where else you can go. If she stubbornly refuses, then wandering aimlessly around the park can become boring. Although, suddenly he works up an appetite. But it’s better to immediately look at the posters of interesting exhibitions, and after some time she will definitely not refuse a cup of coffee.
- Detained at work. Classic. And it's double-sided. Then you need to act according to the situation. If a girl is detained, then patience will help. If you are delayed yourself, then the plan is as follows: taxi → courier with flowers → delivery of the girl to the cafe → waiter. While she waits, you can make it. But, of course, it is necessary to warn and constantly prompt at what stage the force majeure is completed.
How to ask a girl out on a date in person
If you already see each other and communicate, and you don’t need to transfer your acquaintance from the Internet to reality, everything becomes much simpler. It’s enough to seize the moment and pull it off gracefully.
- If you study or work together, add romance and throw a note. Offer to go to a movie she's been looking forward to, or to a cafe with her favorite type of cuisine. According to the tradition of American films, write the options “Yes” and “No” so that she ticks the right one. If you are sure of success, you can write down the options “Yes”, “Definitely yes”, “Tomorrow”, “Ask me again”. If the plan doesn't work, the girl simply won't return the note.
- When you meet, compliment her appearance. Ask about the news and offer to go for a walk/lunch/go somewhere together.
- Ask for help. Maybe you need to choose an outfit for an occasion, a gift for your mom, or something she's good at. This will be an excellent excuse for a meeting and will emphasize your attention to the girl.
- If you have a ticket or membership somewhere that is about to expire, invite her to join you.
Date with a stranger friend3
A date with a girl whose communication lasted only 5 minutes is a very troublesome event. But you should understand that, having set a high bar, you will have to maintain it until victory. Are you able to? And therefore, in order not to get into trouble, you will have to make do with a walk in quiet places.
The gentleman's package has not been canceled: flowers and coffee or tea in an elegant but inexpensive establishment. We immediately need to remind you that the phone should be on silent mode so as not to interfere with the conversation. The conversation should under no circumstances be associated with an interview or questionnaire. This is terrible bad manners. There is no need to burden your counterpart with memories from your childhood. This period of “pants with a strap” is of no interest to anyone, for the time being, of course. The conversation should flow naturally.
There is also no need to delay the meeting. Firstly, you need to take into account the lady’s appearance (shoes!) and how busy she is during the day. If a young lady has spent the whole day at work and is now hobbling around in 15 cm heels, then a walk under the elms in the old park will seem like the most perverted torture. It’s easier to immediately invite them to a light dinner with dessert.
The meeting itself should not last more than three hours; you should not sit on your ears for longer. But the ending should be classic: taxi, delivery to the entrance, if the young lady does not mind being accompanied. It’s better not to ask for tea if the girl hasn’t taken the initiative. But you can hint about the next meeting. And how successful this first date was, the girl’s answer will tell you: either “yes” or “no.”
How to ask a girl on a date via the Internet: examples of successful wording
Successful phrases for asking a girl out on a date via social networks and on the Internet are basically divided into three categories:
1. Surprises . Something that has a little secret.
- “I know one place that you will definitely like. I won't tell you where it is, but I can show you. Let's go to?"
- “You were interested in… . I know something about this, I can tell you over a cup of coffee. Let's meet tomorrow at seven?"
2. Compliments . Tell the girl about her dignity and offer related leisure activities.
- “You're the only one who loves horror as much as I do. Shall we go to the cinema to see Guillermo’s new horror movie?”
- “You are so good at art! And I’m a complete layman, but I want to go to a new exhibition at the House of Artists. Will you keep me company?
3. Quests . The essence of the method is that the girl needs to do something in order to receive an invitation.
- Place the invitation note in the box and bet it on the game. Play along with the girl so that she wins, receives and reads the note. “Victory is yours! But can the loser win the opportunity to take you to the movies?”
- Hide several notes, each of which will tell you how to find the next one. The last note should include an invitation with the address and time. “You've come a long way. There's only one last step left - and the result will pleasantly surprise you. I’ll be waiting at the coffee shop on Chervonnaya at six in the evening.”
How to persuade a woman to date on a dating site
On a dating site, your only tool is correspondence. It is quite enough if the girl is interested enough to decide to meet.
Be courteous and choose the right moment to invite. Don’t ask to see her if the girl is telling you something important right now. Do this at a convenient time - not early in the morning or late in the evening. Make sure she is in a good mood and communicates openly.
Wording from the categories of surprises and compliments will work great here. Here are a few more examples of what correspondence might look like:
Zh: Oh, well, it was a good day at work today.
M: How are you today?
J: What are you doing? M: It seems that right now I need your help. J: Wow, what happened? M: I literally just found out that a backpacker traveler is coming to us. And only you will appreciate his lecture. Will you join me? J: Sounds interesting! I’ll make it up, of course. Where and when will she be?
How to invite a girl for a walk through VK
If you want to ask a friend on a date through VKontakte, rather than a stranger, think about how to do it in an original and cool way. When communicating with a girl you already know, you can choose your wording less carefully and not be afraid to experiment. There is a list of good phrases that will help you easily communicate with the girl you like.
The most original way is to create a simple but beautiful website with an invitation. Send her a private message with a caption like, “Look, what a cool idea.” The website should contain the invitation itself with the date, time and place of the meeting.
If website layout is not your thing, draw graffiti or make a postcard in Photoshop. The main advantage here is the unusual format and presentation. The result should be beautiful and unique, so that it can be seen that you didn’t just Google a template, but really tried.
Another way is to record a voice message. And there are ways to differentiate yourself: with background music, fun effects, intonations and other audio recording capabilities.
If you want to invite someone via correspondence, don’t worry about originality: this can also be a good solution. Here's what it might look like:
M: How are you?
M: You forgot your glasses in the office.
J: I bought a dog! M: Wow, great! What breed? F: Spaniel. Nice puppy. M: I had a spaniel as a child, they are truly wonderful. By the way, there is an extra leash and a couple of toys. I will be happy to give it to you if you allow me to take a walk with you. J: Tempting! We are walking in the park. M: Great. I'll be there at seven.
Examples of successful phrases
- “Do you remember when we discussed Italian cuisine? Will you join me in a cozy trattoria? They make the best carbonara in the city...”;
- “Let's go somewhere for tea/coffee/cider?”;
- “Currently, “The Name of the Movie” is playing in cinemas, which everyone is praising very much. Would you like to join me?"
All these phrases indicate that you want to be alone with the girl, chat and get to know each other better. At the same time, they contain a certain amount of specificity, which allows the young lady to make a first impression. It is better to include a specific place or activity in such phrases. If this hooks her, then the time of the meeting is a secondary issue.
How to offer to meet by phone
To ask a girl out over the phone, you need brevity and confidence. Prepare in advance and try not to distract the girl with lengthy conversations and long, uncertain mooing. Here's what good phone invitation examples look like:
M: Hello, I’m calling to ask what your plans are for the weekend. J: Hello, only Saturday is busy for now. M: Great. How about bowling later that evening? I want to unwind and you seem like the perfect company. Z: I'm not a very good player, but I think it will be fun. M: This is what is required! I'll be there at six. Zh: Okay, I’ll get there by this time. M: Then see you later!
M: Hello, do you have a minute? J: Yes, speak up. Something happened? M: Nothing serious - I just wanted to invite you to a tour of the rooftops on Friday evening. I hope you find this interesting. Zh: Sounds intriguing, yes. But I'm not sure that I'll be free. M: It’s up to you, but if anything happens, we’ll start from kilometer zero at seven. I will be very glad if you join. Zh: I’ll try and tell you for sure on Thursday.
M: It seems you were looking for where we make good coffee in Chemexes. I found such a place and I need an expert. Shall we go there on Sunday? J: Sounds interesting! I'm free during the day. M: Great. I'll pick you up at three. J: Okay, I'll wait.
Mumble = failure10
No one argues that a first date is stressful. But it’s the girl who can shake like a leaf and remain embarrassedly silent, not the initiator of the meeting. But you shouldn’t overdo it either. Some young people are convinced that self-confidence, impudence and rudeness are one and the same thing. deepest delusion. Moreover, insolence and rudeness are generally unacceptable when meeting a lady. And it doesn’t matter how this manifests itself: a reproach to the waiter or remarks towards the drivers of neighboring cars. Culture, etiquette, self-control. Here are three principles for forming the right opinion and attitude. Everything else is just an addition.
As for your own shortcomings or minor mistakes, you can play with humor. Then, such an attitude towards yourself will cause tenderness or a smile, and not a contemptuous “fie”.
How to make a date via SMS
The main feature of SMS invitations is their brevity. If you are interested in how to set up a date with a girl you know via SMS, try to put as much information as possible into one message. Here are some examples of how to assign a date to a girl you know via SMS:
- I haven’t seen you for a long time and I want to meet you. Shall we go to the cinema on Saturday? I've got a ticket and an ice cream.
- Have you already heard that your favorite Hurts are coming? I got tickets, I want to listen to them live. I'm counting on your company.
- Are you a connoisseur of Italian cuisine? How about a pasta dinner on Friday? They say she's great in Papa Carlo.
- “Aladdin” is finally out in theaters—I’ve been waiting a year! Will you come with me to the premiere? I promise it will be fun!
- I want to see you and please you. Can you tell me a place you've been wanting to visit for a long time? I have a couple of ideas, but I'm open to suggestions.
Emotions 9
Since the date is with a girl you know, it’s not forbidden to invite her to a place where it will be really fun. This is a cinema, an amusement park, a concert, and even sporting events (suddenly she is a passionate hockey fan).
What is the purpose of a first date? Of course, rapprochement. When a person is charged with positivity, has fun, and enjoys tasty treats, then he opens up much more than in ordinary situations. The main thing is not to overdo it. This is especially true when choosing a film and your own knowledge of the world of jokes. In the first case, the girl can fill everything with tears and look like a panda because of the leaking mascara, in the second case, it’s clear: the joke is good, and not just to blurt out, and you also need to be able to tell them.
How to ask a stranger out on a date
How to ask an unknown girl for a meeting is the most difficult task of those discussed in this article. It’s worth saying right away that the chances are slim: in the age of the Internet, few people decide to go on a date with a person they are seeing for the first time. However, here are 5 tips that will improve those chances:
- Stay at arm's length. Do not violate the girl's personal space.
- Speak confidently. It's most likely she who is afraid here. If you do too, the acquaintance will not take place.
- Explain the reason for your conversation. You need help finding an address, you liked her, you were interested in what she was doing or eating, if it happened in a cafe.
- Compliment her, if she looks unusual or simply attractive, ask a correct question related to her appearance.
- Keep in mind that she may refuse. Then ask for her contact information - phone number or social media profile, and chat before scheduling a meeting again.
Planning 7
You cannot make a date based on the “here and now” principle. Firstly, the girl should have time to get herself in order. Secretly, not a single girl, even the most well-groomed one, is born with shaved legs and painted eyelashes. She may have just come home from work, and then: “At 18:00 in the park.” So you can call your wife to buy a new refrigerator. You need to invite someone on a date in advance. Otherwise, the quarterly report may be more important than walking under the stars. Then you'll have to eat ice cream in splendid isolation.
Invitation to a date in verse
An original way that touches many girls. In this case, emotionality is important, not the size of the stanzas and the ideal construction of the quatrains. Here are some examples of how best to invite a girl on a date in verse.
Beautiful creation, I invite you on a date! I want to surround you with my tender care, I admit that I really want to be with you!
I've liked you for a long time, let's go to a cafe or a movie? I ask you, don’t refuse, Because I value you, I’ll tell you when we meet.
I never dreamed of finding a more beautiful creature in this life. You are without a doubt ideal. Let's go on a date today!
Right to choose6
When making a classic invitation, it is extremely important to give the girl the right to choose:
- Film reel,
- culinary preference,
- The cafe itself,
- Date outdoors or indoors.
This nuance will give the girl the opportunity to correctly navigate the planning of the day. Then the date will not turn into torture. As for little things, it’s better not to force your preferences on her. Suddenly she likes chocolate ice cream, not creamy ice cream. And in no case should you ask: “Will you have ice cream?” a normal girl will always refuse. It’s better to face the fact: “What will you like: with nuts or with syrup?”
How not to invite
We told you how to beautifully ask a girl on a first date so that she agrees. Now let's list what should not be allowed to avoid refusal.
- Don't be rude. Call politely, respond adequately to possible objections and changes of plans.
- Don't offer half-baked options. Don’t ask “Would you like to spend time together?”, suggest something more specific like going to the movies, an amusement park, or a walk.
- Don't call at inconvenient times like early morning or late evening and don't interrupt the girl's story to invite her somewhere.
- Don’t say the word “date” itself, it can be intimidating.
- Do not invite in a crowded place where many people will hear your dialogue.
- Don’t invite her to a place where the girl will definitely not be interested.
- Most importantly, don't forget to show up for your appointment!
What if it’s a refusal?4
If the refusal was received at the moment of acquaintance, then the “attacks” must be turned off beautifully. It is better to do this in continuation of the thread of conversation. Something like: “It’s a pity, the ice cream will melt and no one will get it.”
Refusal to re-date is also accepted in the continuation of the conversation: “It’s a pity, but I really wanted to know the continuation, but I’ll have to leave the intrigue.” Then take your leave and leave the lady.
Perhaps this is where the debriefing with the stranger can end. It's time to move on to a date with a girl you know.
Choose a place and time
Long gone are the days when girls were introduced to each other under the supervision and permission of their parents. Fortunately, in the modern world there are fewer conventions, and it’s easy to talk to any girl you’re interested in, especially if she’s your classmate or work colleague.
A meeting and subsequent invitation to a date can happen anywhere: at lectures, in a cafe, on the street, in a park, and even on the Internet. Fortunately, there are no longer any places where it would be “indecent” to meet people. Therefore, if you see a girl you like, then there is no point in looking for excuses to postpone acquaintance.
The main thing with so many opportunities is not to make a mistake and not make yourself look stupid.
Self-confidence and erudition, of course, will be a huge support for a guy who is going to persuade a girl to go for a walk with him for the first time. However, even a well-prepared person can get lost in an unusual stressful situation - this is absolutely normal.
This is why I recommend preparing for the meeting in advance by studying the experiences of others. It is believed that taking the first step and inviting someone on a date is a man’s business, but now the boundaries are gradually being erased. We'll talk about this in the article.
End of the meeting11
You need to end a date in the classic way: taxi → trip together → scheduling the next meeting. But, unlike a date with a stranger, in this case it is quite possible to hear an invitation for a cup of tea. There is no point in refusing. The girl is well known, and there is nothing reprehensible in visiting her humble abode. Yes, such a date can end in wild sex. But here the girl herself will decide what and how. You can't hint, you can refuse. And in general, it’s better to act according to the situation. In the end, sex in this case will not look like “straight to bed.” After all, a couple may have known each other for more than one month.
Rules of the game:
Do not build sentences in interrogative form (“Can I invite you on a date?”) and do not use constructions (“I want to invite”, “I want to ask you”, etc.) You don’t need to ask the girl - just invite her. And the next move will follow.
Don't use the wording "date". She can give responsibility to the heroine and scare her away. And “meeting” sounds much better, and it is intuitively clear that it will be romantic.
The invitation must be specific. This means the place and time have already been planned by you. This will demonstrate the seriousness of your intentions.
Politeness and courtesy are the main qualities on a date. Of course, impudence combined with brutality can also work to your advantage, but the likelihood of approval in the first case is still higher.
Don't rush things. If you receive an evasive answer, this is not a reason to give up. Try to wait it out and offer again. Not all girls are dynamos, she can really be busy.
Behavior during a meeting
Tip #10 – Financial opportunities
Don't forget that the one who invites pays the bill. Yes, for example, in countries where feminism is developed, girls are disgusted by this and they offer to pay half the bill. This trend has so far reached us in a distorted form. Therefore, calculate your financial capabilities.
Don't go to a posh and expensive restaurant if you can't afford it yet.
Life hack: to save a girl from a difficult choice (she doesn’t know your capabilities and may be indecisive when ordering so as not to put you in an awkward position) - in a restaurant, try offering to take the set (rolls) or recommend her some dish yourself.
“I recommend this steak to you. How do you feel about meat?
Well, at the same time, you’ll start a conversation about the dangers or benefits of meat for the human body.
Tip #11 - Punctuality
Don't be late for a meeting. According to etiquette, and even the unspoken rule of relationships between men and women, this privilege remains with the weaker sex. But it’s also not worth marking time (and even if with flowers). Sit down at a table, order something to drink (non-alcoholic), scroll through the news feed on your phone.
Try to plan in advance that you will have 15-20 minutes alone.
When should I start calling to find out where she is? If she hasn’t shown up 20 minutes after the scheduled meeting time, you can call her and say that you are there and waiting for her.
Don’t start a conversation with the phrase “Well, where are you?”
Tip #12 - Meeting
When you finally meet, you need to do 3 things:
- smile at her;
- greet (“Hello!”)
- hug her.
These three components are very important for further communication. And you show that you are really glad to see her and are looking forward to a good evening in her company.
Most guys make the mistake of simply saying hello and starting to hesitantly shift from foot to foot. Hugs are a must. Girls are accustomed to such gestures and for them this is a normal and natural greeting.
Tip #13 - Initiative
Take the initiative right away: offer her your hand and invite her:
“Let’s go for a walk in the park” or “Let’s go to that table over there.” This relaxes girls - a confident man who is in control of the situation.
Important: place her in a place where it is difficult to see everything that is happening in the hall. This place should belong to you . In addition, while sitting there, she will be constantly distracted by people entering and leaving the room, rather than being focused on you.
Tip #14 – Something went wrong
If something went wrong and you didn’t like each other, then don’t dwell on it. You shouldn’t think that there’s something wrong with you, that it’s a failure, that life hasn’t gone well and stuff like that.
You are just different people, not suitable for each other. We tried it, realized it wasn’t for you and moved on. This rule also applies if you refuse an invitation. No, no, it’s a pity, but nothing terrible happened. Most likely, she will forget your invitation in 15 minutes.
The fact is that if a girl refuses and really means refusal, then her thoughts are very far from romantic dates. And then she will have no time or interest in thinking about it. So you can safely communicate with her in an hour and not stress.
Tip #15 - Breakup
After the date (if you plan to continue communicating), be sure to see the girl off. This will show you not only as a person interested in her, but also as a well-mannered gentleman. To the car, to the bus stop, to the house - it’s not important, but you simply have to accompany her.
Don't ask if she needs it. Say: “Come on, I’ll accompany you” - confidently and without objection. Help him stand up, take him by the elbow or hand and lead him away. Oh, not a man, but a dream.
Tip #16 - Aftertaste
After a date in the evening, send an SMS: “Thank you for the evening!” There is no need to call, it will be too intrusive. Let her also realize what happened, dream about you or about a future meeting.
I strongly recommend learning how to envelop a girl in an atmosphere of trust in you and relaxation on a date. Read the link.
