Two girl friends lived in a small town - Sveta and Dasha. In the morning we went to school, and in the evenings we read magazines together, watched TV series and discussed boys.
Sveta often shared her dreams with Dasha, receiving an approving smile in return.
Even here, the interests of the friends coincided, because who doesn’t want a rich husband, an expensive car and a carefree life?
Having matured, the girls continued to call each other, but more often their communication was limited to correspondence on social networks. Sveta quickly noticed changes in her friend’s life.
Dasha posted photos from expensive restaurants and clubs, often traveled and bathed in bouquets and gifts from a man in love. She even began to succeed in her career.
Sveta was overcome with envy: why is she worse than her friend? They were always equal in appearance, intelligence and temperament.
One day Sveta could not stand it and during a meeting she asked an exciting question: “How can I make my life the same as yours? After all, we are almost no different..."
And a friend talked about her experience of how to learn to dream correctly.
Catch fish big and small
Can you give a precise definition of the word dream? Most people are already making the biggest mistake here.
They necessarily perceive the dream as something distant and unattainable. “It would be nice...” and that’s it, no continuation of the story.
Remember the old fairy tales about the Magic Pike, the Goldfish and old man Hottabych. The main characters lived and lived and did not grieve until sudden luck fell on them.
“For dreams to come true, you just need to wait” - this is how girls like Sveta perceive their dreams.
They live their lives, dream about something beyond the pale, but do nothing to make their dreams come true. They don't know how to dream properly.
Invent interlocutors
Ask five different people the same question and they will give five different answers. Everyone has their own world, their own experience and principles. And often you can hear something truly interesting, something that never occurred to you. So try to look at the world through the eyes of a fictional character or historical figure and see their solution to your problem.
Close your eyes and imagine the world of this person, an alien, a cartoon character, a movie, an animal. The main thing is not to throw away ideas. Just collect them, no matter how ridiculous they may seem now.
Dreams and goals
The “goal” is like a target that stands in front of us and we think about how to get into the top ten.
“Dream” is the same target, but we don’t see it so clearly; it seems to float outside our field of vision.
Now think about what your goals are. This could be a promotion, a trip to the seaside, a trip to the cinema, or even cooking pancakes for dinner.
Do you feel how real and achievable everything you have listed is? This is Dasha’s secret - she began to call her dream a goal.
“I dream of meeting a worthy man.” “My goal is to meet a worthy man.” Just one word changes the meaning.
A dream warms you from the inside, makes you smile and imagine a happy future. A goal forces you to tense up and come up with a plan of action.
Dreaming is not bad, dreams inspire and motivate us, but they can become reality only with conscious action. Do you want to not only dream, but also achieve?
Try following the following tips and make sure that to make your wishes come true, you don’t have to rub the lamp in the hope of summoning a sleeping genie.
Safety precautions: how not to dream
You ask: “Is it useful to dream?” I will answer: “Of course yes! But with some nuances.” As they say, every barrel of honey has its own fly in the ointment. And the saying “it’s not harmful to dream” is not always true. Sometimes it’s so harmful! Let's look at a few rules that will help you dream for good and not for harm.
Don't dream about bad things
It happens that in life someone has greatly offended us and we wish him harm with all our hearts. Thoughts of retribution are constantly spinning in your head and are saturated with strong emotions. We don’t notice how we begin to dream of punishing the offender and making him suffer.
This is absolutely not allowed! Firstly, such dreams are completely useless, because they do not bring you any closer to your goals. Secondly, they are very energy-intensive. The brain spends much more resources on negative thoughts than on positive ones.
You've probably noticed that every time you feel exhausted after such dreams. It turns out that you, without knowing it, are giving your energy to the person you hate. Or they could spend it on becoming stronger and not allowing themselves to be offended in the future.
Well, from an ethical point of view, it is bad to wish harm to another person. And it’s bad, first of all, for yourself. At this moment you appear pathetic, weak and insignificant. This image remains in the subconscious and affects self-esteem.
Don't abuse your dreams
By learning to dream again, you can quickly get the hang of it. It's pleasant, interesting and easy. And most importantly, it does not require any physical action. But it’s contraindicated for an adult to dream a lot. This child can indulge in dreams and fantasies from morning to evening, but you and I need to focus on activity.
It is enough to spend about 30 minutes a day on dreams. During this time, you will have time to get the necessary supply of motivation, improve your well-being, and be alone with yourself.
Don't dream about things that don't depend on you
You should not dream about something that is in no way subject to your will. For example, about winning the lottery, about a sudden inheritance and other random coincidences that do not require your direct participation.
Also avoid daydreaming about other people. For example, how the object of your sympathy falls in love with you, how round dances of fans circle around you.
All these are useless fantasies that will not help you become better. At best, you will simply waste your time, and at worst, you will lose touch with reality.
Remember: you can only dream about what is in your hands. When the brain sees pictures of achieved success, it encourages a person with energy to take specific actions to implement it. What actions can you take to win the lottery, for example?
Talk less, work more
“I’m going to do some renovations,” “I’ll definitely go to the sea this summer,” “I’ll start running tomorrow”—phrases that end the matter.
It would seem that what’s wrong with sharing your plans with a loved one? In response, you can receive advice, support or a compliment. Sounds absolutely wonderful!
But the human psyche perceives it differently. Any repair begins with the first nail, a trip to the sea with purchased tickets, and running with the first drop of sweat.
The first steps motivate us to move on thanks to the special work of happiness hormones that are released after each stage passed.
What does this have to do with talking about your plans? The fact is that the body perceives your story as that very first step.
You share plans, get a premature release of hormones and... that's it. A person prefers to get less pleasure, but right now, than more, but after some time.
Talk less about your plans if you really want to implement them.
Look for opportunities
Many of us want to be richer, but often we refuse to increase our income only because we are afraid and do not know that it is real. We don’t want unnecessary fuss, we don’t look for ways, we’re not confident in our talents - there are many excuses. But in reality everything is much simpler. Whether you will be financially successful depends largely on your inner sense of “I can do it.” So look for opportunities. You can get what you want not only for money, but also, for example, through the exchange of knowledge, services, and goods.
For example, do you want to travel cheaper? You can search for cheap air tickets, use travel companion search services, or you can help people transport their packages faster and receive a monetary reward for this. Constantly ask yourself two questions: “How can I get what I want without money? And how can I get the required amount of money for what I want?”
Visualization is your best friend
How to visualize a dream? Remember the example where we considered “goal” and “dream” as two targets.
The first was right in front of us, the second was unknown where. And here visualization of desires comes to the rescue.
Only she can make a dream tangible and show how achievable it is. Do you dream of meeting the ideal man? Visualize it using magazines or pictures on the Internet.
Choose his appearance, clothing style, and occupation. Now you dream of meeting not a handsome businessman, but a tall 30-year-old brunette with his own car and real estate.
The more details you visualize, the easier it will be for you to find the man of your dreams.
Do the same with your desired car, apartment, lifestyle. You must clearly understand what you want.
Imagine you're buying a house and you need to describe it to a real estate agent. Dimensions, number of rooms, location, number of floors - describe everything that is hidden behind the words “beautiful house”.
For visualization, we recommend using special programs or the game The Sims. Modern technologies recreate real life more and more realistically every year. Why try?
If you are far from technology, the classic method will suit you - create a collage.
Use illustrations and photos from magazines that depict how you see your ideal life, visualize love.
Handsome men, expensive cars, luxurious houses - having a collage with visualization of your dreams will give you an endless source of motivation and inspiration.
Think about what you really want
Agree, in childhood it was very easy to dream, because we all wanted only what we really wanted (at least, it seemed to us then that we definitely couldn’t do without it). With age, desires are increasingly subordinated not to our personal needs, but to other factors.
For example, we may want a promotion at work not so much because we know where we will spend the higher salary, but for the sake of status. We can dream of studying to become a doctor, because this would please our medical parents. All such desires are far from our needs; we do not invest the necessary energy into them, because we subconsciously understand “this is not necessary.”
Analyze your dreams and goals, think about which of them are truly yours and which are imposed by society. Throw away the unnecessary and focus only on what is really valuable.
Gain knowledge and experience
You don't have to sit in a dusty classroom. Educate yourself in the park or in the nearest cafe!
When a schoolchild and a businessman dream of an iPhone X, we understand who has a better chance of realizing their dream.
The key word in this comparison is “opportunity.” They are given to us by knowledge and experience, without which the dream can only come true through luck.
Without opportunities, silence and visualization will be of no use. That's why this point is the most important thing you'll learn today.
Do you want to meet a man? Start studying the psychology of relationships, communicate with them more often and learn to understand them.
Do you want to be beautiful and sexy? Study sexology, cosmetology, dietetics and everything that is important to know about a woman’s appearance and health.
You can start your path to knowledge with thematic courses and trainings.
Go to extremes
Do two things.
- First, imagine the worst case scenario that could happen. And forget about him. The subconscious has already begun work on preparing your internal resources for the most terrible ending. You will endure no matter what happens. You will be ready and get out.
- Second, imagine your ideal solution to the situation. What would you do if you were an ideal person? What are your actions if you are the best? Your subconscious is already ready to support you in realizing your plans. Just believe it.
Use the correct wording of desires
Many of our desires and goals are not realized only because they were formulated incorrectly. Let’s imagine that you have set yourself a goal or dream “to study English at a prestigious language school.” This is not the correct formulation, because “learning a language” and “being good at a language” are different concepts.
We need to change the goal to “I want to speak and write fluently in English.” Do you feel the difference? So the desired result is immediately clear, you begin to concentrate your thoughts and energy on it, so the desire becomes completely realizable.
The same goes for desires like “I want a car”, “I want an apartment”. In this case, it is advisable to specify the subject of dreams and indicate the desired method of implementation (for example, “buy with earned money,” “receive as a gift,” etc.).
Remove the impossible
The first thing you have to do is cross out those dreams that you cannot achieve. Of course, there is nothing wrong with fantasies about eternal life, the ability to become invisible or returning to the past, but, alas, this is beyond the control of any person on our planet. By the way, the dream of losing 20 kilograms in a week is from the same opera. Also remove dreams that are theoretically possible to achieve, but you personally don’t really believe in it. For example, speak fluently all European languages.
