A man does nothing for the relationship: reasons and possible actions

Today's men have lost the motivation to build, fight, work or win women.

What is behind their passivity and how to deal with it?

We live in decidedly unmotivated times.

During the settlement of the American continent, European settlers made their way with boundless energy.

They founded cities, fought with the natives, invaded hostile, unfamiliar lands in search of a new life and untold riches.

In the American West, frontier towns were filled with ambitious men who disdained the comforts of civilized life, such as fine clothing, fine food, and beautiful women.

In some cities the ratio of men to women was approximately 700:1.

Before the Gold Rush of 1849, 90% of California's population was male.

However, this was of little concern to anyone because the men came there to find wealth, greatness, or simply to build a home and start a new life.

Men of that generation practically did not need female help.

They found wives very easily when they returned to civilization or invited them from home.

And these wives did not divorce them (only occasionally ran away with other men).

Men of that generation did not lose themselves in aimless entertainment, comfort and luxury, as is the case now.

Most of them had hard lives, eating simple foods, living simple lives, working hard and enjoying simple pleasures.

Despite this, 150 years later, their heirs present a completely different picture.

Today, American men sit in cozy chairs all day, drive around in air-conditioned cars, their faces glued to screens, and testosterone levels have plummeted 17% over the past 20 years.

More than 50% of the American population does not work at all.

Compare this to the era of the colonialists, when women and children worked all day on the farm, ranch, selling products at the market, weaving linens or doing other crafts!

Many Americans are simply not interested in the jobs available.

Many professional men say that they are offered difficult or low-paid jobs, so they prefer to remain unemployed and live on benefits.

Young guys practically don’t think about the future and plan to live the rest of their lives off the inheritance they receive or their parents’ savings.

This apathy extends to all areas of our lives and continues to progress.

When I first started learning the art of seduction, most guys weren't that interested in pickup because they would occasionally fuck girlfriends from their social circles (and that was more than enough for them).

Today, even fewer men are interested in seduction, but for different reasons.

Many guys don't have sex at all and don't want to change anything in their lives.

They prefer to masturbate occasionally and are quite happy with it.

Interest in women has dropped to about 40% since 2000.

There is less interest in nightlife, clubs, and bars.

Every year the situation is only getting worse.

Men meet with friends less and less, and increasingly prefer to communicate with girls on social networks.

Today, a huge number of men do not work and do not get laid.

They prefer to sit idle, complain about life, the government and unfaithful, selfish women who do not even look in their direction.

And none of them blames themselves for their own failures.

What happened to men in the 21st century and how did they begin to degrade so much?

Conquest of Gaul

Gaul (consisting of modern France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Sweden and parts of Northern Italy, the Netherlands and Germany) had long been the most implacable enemy of the Roman Empire.

In 390 BC. The Gauls sacked Rome, slaughtered the main statesmen, plundered their houses and set fire to the city.

Rome was not sacked for another 800 years, until Alaric led his group of Visigoths through Italy.

Even Hannibal with his elephants and military talent did not break through its walls.

Julius Caesar eventually brought Gaul under his rule, conquering a divided Gaul in the Gallic Wars.

During Caesar's 8-year wars, one million Gauls died (about 20% of the population), another million Gauls were enslaved by the Romans, and 800 cities turned into smoldering ruins.

The Gauls resisted, but the Romans were too strong and too organized, so they won.

Nevertheless, from this conquest arose Roman Gaul - a developed, stable, comfortable society.

By the time the Suevi, Vandals, Alans and Burgundians invaded Gaul in 406 AD.

Gaul became a real nation.

Although Gaul was filled with healthy young men, unlike Caesar's army, it offered no resistance to the barbarian invaders.

This time, a small group of invaders killed a huge number of young people who did not resist, raped their women, burned and sacked the cities.

In three years, the invaders became masters of rebellious Gaul.

What happened from the period when the Gauls were the most powerful conquerors with the most advanced civilization on Earth, and the one when they surrendered and died at the hands of a pathetic band of Rapscalion?

The most obvious answer is that they felt comfortable and relaxed.

I'm not ready to have a child.

It’s still early, you need to live for yourself, you need to earn money first, let’s put this question aside for a couple of tens of thousands of years.

I'll tell you right away!

A man is always ready for a child. This is genetically inherent in every person, it is an instinct, it is an innate reflex!

But, if you give a man free rein, he will drag on forever.

If your boyfriend insists on having a child, then I congratulate you. He really, truly loves you. Sincerely! Deeply and consciously.

If your macho man starts to break down, starts talking about his unpreparedness, putting off this question, then he probably loves you too. Not for real. Shallowly, unconsciously. And insincerely. No matter how loudly and long and convincingly he says “I love you,” it will be half a lie. He thinks that he loves you, he believes in it, but, in fact, it is not so.

And yet, you shouldn’t fall into a cold depression.

This phrase is the fear that he has chosen the wrong woman. And you just (just...) need to become the one with whom he wants to have children. For children are conductors of love, the key to healthy evolution and a fulfilled human mission.

I will say a loud phrase that is worth believing. The man is ready to have children right now, today! But you're doing something wrong. It’s not he who is not ready, but YOU who are not ready! Damn you, YOU!

I have every reason to believe this, since I communicate with my readers and see your mistakes very well. And there are a lot of them. They just overwhelmed me from all sides to the top of my head. I can write articles for another hundred years, I can drink all the green tea on planet Earth while I clean up the ruins of your jambs.

Need to work. And you are reasoning! You ask questions, start asking someone to explain something to you, become confused, and cannot complete basic tasks. What is there to talk about? The phrase “I don’t want children yet” means nothing to him, he’s ready. Always ready. Is it just with you?

And so, I wanted to finish the article, format it and send it on its way, but I remembered such manly words...

Comfort breeds apathy

Read about the most prominent people in history, and you will notice a common thread: many lived harsh, simple, spartan lives.

Much worse than their subordinates.

Read about the lives of Philopoemen, Julian the Apostate, Lawrence of Arabia and many others.

They lived austere lives, eating simple, healthy foods, exercising, studying philosophy, and sleeping on hard beds or on the ground.

Even though they were leaders and could surround themselves with wealth and luxury, they deliberately avoided it.

Some successful people of our time, such as Warren Buffett and Keanu Reeves, live in small, simple houses and drive old cars (Buffett) or ride the subway (Reeves).

How many men do you know who have deliberately chosen a Spartan life and deny themselves everything?

And how many of them give up luxury, even after they have a lot of money?

Men prefer to pamper themselves.

But modesty and asceticism are widespread among ambitious, successful and productive men.

I wouldn't count myself among them.

But there is also some financial progress in my life.

I went from an ordinary guy to a fairly successful man, but at the same time I still live in a small apartment, eat simple home-cooked food, visit the same places as before, watch TV series on the same laptop as in 2021.

I try to console myself with thoughts about the future, but at the same time I try to live in the present.

My friends have a very beautiful, large, modern house, and every time I come to visit them, they treat me to delicious dishes, expensive snacks, exotic fruits, make me silk sheets, and give me a very comfortable room with a huge bed.

They experience complete relaxation and disconnection from everyday problems.

It would seem an ideal place to write a new book or prepare seminars.

But I can't do anything productive.

Being in ideal conditions, I fall into complete apathy.

I tried to live on the seashore, when you leave the house straight to the sandy beach.

The weather here was beautiful all the time, the sky was always blue, the water was clear, the food was fresh and delicious, the restaurants were open air, and there were friendly, beautiful girls in bikinis everywhere.

And again I couldn’t work productively.

I had to leave there to avoid falling into a financial hole.

A couple of years ago I was at a business conference in Bangkok.

Many of the visitors lived in Thailand, many on beaches with daily parties.

The hotel manager told me how most visiting foreigners started out living in the beach areas, but after a couple of months they moved to Bangkok to keep their business afloat.

They had to give up sandy beaches, good food, an easy life and inexpensive women in order not to lose their iron grip.

Many guys move to Thailand for a fun, vibrant life.

But when they decide to make a career and earn money, they urgently need to leave the beach and move to the city.

Maybe there are men in the world who can sit in luxury and still remain sharp and successful.

But this is rather an exception to the general rule.

When Lycurgus set the rules for Sparta, he categorically prohibited any kind of luxury.

In ancient Sparta, the rich could not show off their wealth.

Even the thresholds of their houses had to be made of rough wood, and they could not be sanded, decorated, or painted.

One man might be rich and the other poor, but there was no visible difference between them, and they both dined at the same common table.

The result was a nation of strong, ambitious, courageous men who, even today, deserve respect.

He takes relationships very seriously

For some of us, it is important to determine the format of the relationship as soon as possible, and they are ready to declare themselves a couple as soon as they meet someone they like. For others, entering into a relationship is almost like swearing an oath of eternal fidelity and love, so they take their time with big words and actions. As a rule, the second type of people experiences a breakup very painfully, and therefore is in no hurry to commit themselves.

Try to find out how the guy generally feels about relationships: whether he has had them before and how many, whether they are affairs or exclusively serious novels.

When Sparta fell into decline

As centuries passed, the people of Sparta abandoned the rules of Lycurgus, and this was the beginning of the end.

They quietly indulged their desires for luxury and learned to enjoy all the benefits that their neighbors in Greece enjoyed.

Because of this, the men of Sparta became soft, lazy, they preferred to recline at tables with food rather than engage in men's affairs, they were forced to free the helots (slaves) and arm them as soldiers and send them to military service in their place.

Sparta fell into final decline.

Eventually, in 396 AD, after a long siege, Alaric the Visigoth conquered Sparta, sacking the rich city in the process.

The 4th century Spartans left the Thermopylae pass unguarded, allowing the Goths to occupy the entire area and sell the locals into slavery.

Sparta ceased to exist.

Imagine a king like Agis III (the Spartan king) who, after being mortally wounded, ordered his men to abandon him as they retreated.

He remained on the battlefield and, with the last of his strength, continued the battle with the army of Alexander the Great.

He fought on his knees and killed several more Macedonian soldiers before being speared in the chest.

Imagine this man commanding the soft, graceful people of decadent 4th century AD Sparta.

I cannot imagine such a leader emerging at that time.

Now ask yourself:

Are you more like Agis III now?

Or are you more like a sleek, pampered late-era Spartan, unwilling to fight, and destined to be sold into slavery by a band of warlike savages?

He has had bad relationships in the past


An unsuccessful breakup can completely discourage you from ever entering into a relationship. This condition is understandable, but it would be nice to know how advanced it is. Complaining about a broken heart is certainly worthy of sympathy, but don't hesitate to ask if he needs a little time to recover or if he has decided to spend the rest of his life as a free man.

Limits + comfort

The world we live in is created to destroy us.

It affects our relationships with women, our friendships, our own projects and ambitions.

It affects us on all fronts.

In Rome, at a late stage of its existence, many laws and regulations simply paralyzed men.

Lawyers had unlimited power, and anyone could be guilty of violating some obscure law.

Almost the same thing is happening today.

Lately, guys have been afraid to do something, take initiative, or implement their plans.

Over the past 5 years of consultations, I have increasingly heard from them fears that they will be accused of something:

  • “What if a girl accuses me of rape?”
  • “What if someone accuses me of sexual harassment?”
  • “What if I get sent away for trying to get acquainted?”
  • “What if my coworker says I harassed her?”
  • “What if they call me a psychopath?”
  • “What if I get arrested for something?”
  • “What if I get punched in the face?”

Men have always been slightly afraid of women, but in recent years this fear has begun to acquire colossal proportions.

If before it was mainly fears of temporary shame, that is, the guys were afraid of public opinion, condemnation, ridicule.

What if someone sees how a girl refused him?

Now I increasingly hear from men fears of being beaten, arrested, humiliated.

Men have become much less worried about public opinion, and much more afraid of completely ruining their lives.

At the same time, as life outside the home becomes more and more scary, life inside the home becomes more and more comfortable.

A man can sit at home for days, in his cozy little nest, watch TV series, jerk off to porn, order delivery of pizza and beer.

He then enthusiastically plays video games, which give him a sense of accomplishment, and hangs out on social networks, where he feels needed.

After this, he reads the news, is horrified by the events taking place, is glad that this did not happen to him and begins to pretend to be an expert and make political forecasts.

At night, when he feels lonely, he can go to a dating site and look through other people’s profiles for about 30 minutes.

Convinced that this time there is nothing worthy, he falls asleep with a clear conscience.

Why do you need to fuss if you already have a cozy studio apartment, a large screen TV, a laptop and a mobile phone?

Everything suits you perfectly.

10-20 years ago you would have died of boredom due to voluntary seclusion.

But today, when everything is digitized, your boundaries have expanded.

And it's all incredibly simple.

Due to the damn COVID-19, we have seen many office jobs shift to a remote mode of working.

Many were simply fired.

The government is trying to support the unemployed and underemployed, which creates an additional reason to stay home and relax.

This has already happened in history.

By the time of the Caesars, about 50% of the population of ancient Rome was unemployed, dependent on free grain distributed by the state.

Instead of working, they whiled away the time by watching a performance at the Circus Maximus.

Why do late-stage governments keep their populations straitjacketed and dependent through handouts, entertainment, and increased welfare?

Because the No. 1 threat is a popular uprising.

Which is better to nip in the bud.

Once growth stops, the military suppresses all real opposition, and the elite turn into autocrats, citizens have fewer and fewer ways to succeed.

Bureaucracy and corruption are on the rise, and the powerful are erecting more and more barriers to maintain their grip on power.

The gray masses must lose their ambitions so that they do not have thoughts of revolution and overthrowing the government.

And while the most aggressive revolutionary elements must be fought, as is happening right now in our society when opposition is censored, criticized and banned, in most cases such extreme measures are not necessary.

As long as men feel comfortable and have their basic needs and desires met, they will look at those in opposition who are suppressed by the system and say, “ I don’t want to give up my comfort to fight .”

When people are comfortable, they remain calm (even if they are unhappy with something).

So the systems use this combination of restrictions and comfort to keep the population under control, and they succeed effectively.

The era of expansion and conquest is over and men will no longer have room for growth (only the struggle for money).

I have seen many examples linking decreased testosterone levels in men to environmental aspects.

It's all because of plastic, soy and chemicals in the water.

Plastic does contain endocrine blockers, and soybean oil (used in many foods, such as mayonnaise) can act as an estrogen.

I've seen studies that looked at the effects of the environment on testosterone levels and they concluded that the actual effect on testosterone levels of plastic, soybean oil and chemicals in water is minimal, but should still be avoided, at least to be on the safe side (although I myself I still can’t get rid of my habit of using mayonnaise in my sandwich).

But all this is not so important.

I'm sure there is a simpler reason for the apathy of modern men.

The reason is that modern men are not active, they have nowhere to go, get something and conquer something - and all this is directly related to testosterone levels.

They lost the feeling of victory.

Winning leads to more winnings (and a surge in testosterone).

How dominant can a chained man be?

When you live in a modern society, you are constantly trying to follow the rules.

In our society there are many rules that you must follow.

Some of them are legal, others are social.

There are more and more rules, and something new appears every day.

Do you feel strong and free by following the rules?

Of course not.

We know that men with higher testosterone levels break all sorts of rules and regulations.

I'm willing to bet 100 bucks that the opposite is true - this rule itself also lowers testosterone levels.

If you conduct a study in which one group of men is placed in a strip bar and given five basic rules that must be followed, and another group of men is placed in the same strip bar, where 20 more rules are added to these five rules, then after a few hours, men from the first group will have higher levels of testosterone in the blood than their colleagues loaded with rules.

Restrictions are needed to restrain your impulses, comfort, so that you feel self-sufficient.

These things are necessary to maintain social order, and at the same time they undermine your will to do... well, almost everything.

Societies decline and collapse because they become too soft and weak-willed.

This is partly because the system, as it grows, begins to see change and upheaval as a problem that urgently needs to be dealt with, and immediately neutralizes the very source of new strength and renewal.

By doing this, the government castrates its people and seduces them into a comfortable, lethargic life.

Modern men have fewer and fewer real ways to achieve their goals and more and more rules to follow.

Around us, like mushrooms after rain, some kind of distractions and entertainment are constantly growing.

This is necessary to attract our attention and distract us from the unrealization of our ambitions, abilities or freedom.

He has an unfinished relationship

It’s not necessarily about an actual relationship; perhaps the guy still can’t sort out his feelings for his ex-girlfriend. Sometimes people enter into a new romantic relationship to distract themselves and see if they can forget their previous love.

Either way, you don't deserve to be a stopover. If you know that a guy has a complicated relationship with his ex-girlfriend or he still has complicated feelings for her, suggest that he be alone and sort himself out, and only then try to meet someone else.

Disconnect from the system

You are a resident of society.

Citizen.

You are part of the social and state system.

You must follow some rules so as not to go to jail or play the game.

You must follow these rules. There's not much you can do from a prison cell (or grave).

But you don’t have to follow all the rules without exception!

If you are not a maniac, then no one is going to arrest you just because you met a girl on the street and invited her to a cafe.

Now people are prohibited from communicating closely with each other due to a dangerous virus.

And it is unclear whether the government will be able to relinquish power at any point.

Historically, governments have been very reluctant to give up power to their opponents.

Nevertheless, in many countries people go to rallies, protests, and riots.

Even though the police will arrest them for large gatherings of people during a pandemic, this will not stop the riots.

Ultimately, the police stop using aggressive methods to combat rallies.

Although, this is rather an exception to the rule.

Previously, there had been several uprisings of ordinary citizens against the powerful Praetorian Guard in Ancient Rome.

But for hundreds of years, a few thousand armed enforcers were enough to quell a rebellion, and a million unarmed citizens continued to follow the rules.

Will people continue to defend their right to freedom from rules in large cities?

It is unclear whether the rebels will surrender first or whether police will stop using force against them.

But if this situation continues, “social distancing” may turn into a new ban.

Even if they do not lift these restrictions and the lockdown continues (which is likely), people may move to parts of their country that are not as strict about lockdown measures, such as smaller towns and villages.

In fact, this is already happening.

Rents in St. Petersburg are falling, while prices in the provinces and outskirts are rising.

People leave restrictive, expensive, closed cities if they can.

Not everyone can decide to exchange a comfortable life in a metropolis for green pastures and a herd of cows.

If some countries remain completely locked down, we could see mass emigration to other freer countries.

This is beneficial for the government, because the bravest and most ambitious will leave the country, leaving only the obedient and passive.

And this is what will allow the elite of our society to achieve obedience from their population.

These are the absolute restrictions that are the hardest to get around now, mainly because “people should stay at home and not gather outside.”

There are other restrictions that seem burdensome at first, but only until you go offline

In many countries, freedom of speech is prohibited under the auspices of “protecting” people.

A few days ago, a 12-year-old boy was arrested in the UK for “inciting hatred” against a multi-millionaire athlete, and all over Europe people are in prison because of their “freedom of speech”.

You won’t end up in an American prison for your speech (unless, of course, you threaten violence, and you will be jailed for that), but you may well be fired from your job or deported.

But who said that you need to participate in the games of this system?

Why do you need to hang around on social media making fun of politicians like this 12 year old boy?

Why do you need to reach people online?

When the system is against you, you will still lose this war.

Systems have become very good at taking any energy directed against them and mirroring it onto something else.

Remember the protests and riots in the USA.

We have one group of people (mostly middle class white women and some men) protesting the mistreatment of another group of people (mostly lower class blacks) by targeting the storefronts and businesses of a third group of people (mostly lower class blacks). lower- and middle-class white men).

Meanwhile, the powers that be are using their media resources and mega-corporations to add fuel to the fire.

Is anyone here “fighting the system”?

No, they all fight each other and expand the capabilities of this system.

This is a common scenario where the system pits one population group against another so that the lower classes always remain scattered and busy.

If you are not going to devote yourself to a cause (and are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of common interests), then you will gain nothing by being a pawn in the hands of others.

You won't change anything with your angry posts on social networks.

You won't achieve anything when you go to a protest or rally.

You don't become a warrior by fighting in a closed city in the hope that everything will get better and you can easily move towards your goal.

The system is just playing with you.

This doesn't mean you can't make a difference.

Everything is possible if you just want it.

The super hero theory is very real, and if you want to become famous, then go for it.

But be prepared for certain sacrifices.

Great people leave an indelible mark on history.

I don't want to discourage anyone here.

But there is a difference between:

This is what I want to do and I will devote my whole life to this ,” or

This is very important to me, and I want to spend at least 15% of my time solving this problem ,” or

«I get annoyed when people don't agree with me, so I'll write nasty things about them on Facebook.».

If you voluntarily disconnect from the system, it will not greatly affect your emotional health.

The vast masses will not be able to do this.

You don't have to worry that your case, whatever it may be, will one day run out of arguments and you'll resort to insults.

You will lose the person in you and slide into primitive cattle.

And if a miracle ever happens and people disconnect en masse from the system, then this system will not be able to support itself, and the disconnected people will form their own, new system of relationships.

People always form systems.

But now, when the vast majority of people are helplessly, hopelessly attached to social networks, simply deleting your pages gives you huge benefits.

Disconnect from your system and you disconnect from some rules.

So:

  • Close your social media accounts.
  • Remove dating apps from your phone.
  • Stop constantly reading the news.

Keeping one or two news sources to keep up to date is fine, just don't spend too much time on it.

  • Avoid black hole websites with endless, meaningless content that sucks you in and absorbs you.
  • Limit the number of shows and movies you watch.
  • Limit your video game time.
  • Stop watching porn (and stop masturbating so much).
  • Set a curfew for yourself and turn off all gadgets at the same time.
  • Stop being carried away by formulaic, popular books that say "best bestseller" and start reading the best books in the history of mankind.
  • Spend more time outdoors.

Try to walk more. Take a walk through the parks that come your way. Take up cycling.

  • Improve your diet. Start intermittent fasting, improve your food choices and reduce your portion sizes.
  • Talk to people.

Communicate. Meet girls. Flirt with women in everyday life. Ensure constant real communication with people (not just virtual).

  • Exercise outdoors and do calisthenics (body weight exercises).

If the gym is closed due to coronavirus, use this to your advantage to gain real strength while everyone else gets fat.

  • Learn to live a more Spartan lifestyle.

Live simpler, reduce the number of luxuries and surround yourself with only the essentials.

Always strive to feel slight discomfort in order to gain strength.

By doing all this, you will feel less constrained by the opinions and beliefs of other people.

You'll stop worrying about what they think, but you won't want to convince them of anything.

You won't get angry and fly off the handle if someone has opposing views.

Instead, you will simply view them as : “This person has his own point of view and he has good reasons for it. He sees the situation from a different perspective. Perhaps I am an obstacle for him to achieve his goals. Or perhaps I have nothing to do with him at all.”

After you:

  • Say goodbye to social networks, where people complain, attack, and behave inappropriately.
  • Delete all dating sites where normal human relationships are devalued.
  • You will stop losing vital energy on porn sites.

You will get:

  • Healthy sleep and nutrition.
  • Activity in real communication with people.
  • Gradual increase in ambitions, achievements, sexual desire.

He's afraid he's not worthy of you

Sometimes a guy can delay getting into a relationship because he is not confident in himself and is afraid that this girl is too cool for him. What you shouldn’t do in such a situation is to convince him that you are extremely unpretentious and don’t require or expect anything from him at all. Talk honestly about your expectations and possibilities, maybe he will see that everything is not as scary as it seemed, and you are not expecting any supernatural feats or sacrifices. Or, conversely, you both will realize that you are too different and will break up in time.

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