Why doesn’t a man want a relationship and yet won’t let go?

It seems that a woman in such a relationship is like a dog on a long leash: on the one hand, she can walk both to the right and to the left and feel relatively free, but on the other hand, the leash is still there and periodically makes itself felt.

It is always difficult to be in such an uncertain relationship: a woman develops self-doubt, and from time to time she becomes depressed, because to answer the question “Why is he stalling?” she can't do it on her own.

Do you want your wish to come true? We invite you to a transformational psychological game that will make your dreams come true!

Men, who can be compared to a dog in a manger, can be divided into two types: the owner and the collector.

Type No. 1. Owner

Quite a common type. Such a man is distinguished by an increased level of thrift and thrift. His possessive streak manifests itself in absolutely everything: he cares about his well-being, is tight-fisted, touchy, jealous even of his friends, and has difficulty parting with people and things.

He treats a woman as something of his own. Even if at the moment she is not particularly needed, and in general has been tired of her for a long time, he cannot get away from her: what if she comes in handy on the farm.

On the other hand, the owner cannot bear the thought that someone will use what belongs to him. His attitude towards women cannot be called chivalrous or romantic. For him, a woman is, strictly speaking, not a woman at all, not even a person or a sexual object. She is his property, so he physically cannot part with her even when the relationship no longer seems to exist.

Lady takes matters into her own hands

When a family drama unfolds according to a similar scenario, the wife must decide what to do next. The presence of children, shared living space and other property “acquired by back-breaking labor” should not frighten or stop us. The main thing in a situation, if a man does not love and does not let go, is to let him understand that his wife is not his property, like his children, and everything else must be divided by law. It’s not worth putting up with your husband’s antics in the hope that he will come to his senses and understand what an invaluable gift his wife gave him in the form of taking him back. This could go on forever and you will waste your life waiting for a miracle. In addition, men are designed in such a way that few of them voluntarily leave a good woman.

They look at life together, especially as they age, in a very practical way. If the housewife and clever woman are in the house, then the beautiful artist can be found on the side. This is usually called a vent.

Type No. 2. Collector

This type includes men who need fans. He keeps women for himself, periodically making himself known with a compliment, a gift, sudden and lightning-fast sex.

He, like the Flying Dutchman, will appear on your shores with bouquets, sweets and words of love. And then just as quickly it will disappear from all radars until the next time.

The Collector’s favorite method is to remain silent and silent, then write, remain silent some more and call somewhere. He needs this in order to feel in demand. The collector knows that he has 25 women whom he can write or call at any time, and someone from his Don Juan list will definitely respond.

Psychologically, the Collector is very insecure. To feel good, he needs women whom he keeps at some distance.

Collector on a daily hunt

Boys stopped collecting stamps a long time ago

We will not understand the reasons for polygamous male behavior. Let’s just accept it as a fact: there are men who are not satisfied with the monogamous model of relationships. No matter how perfect you are, no matter how delicious the borscht you cook and no matter how first-class you behave in society, time will never be enough for you. You alone are not enough. After all, there are so many different, different women around! The collector's appetite is unlikely to ever be satisfied, and even if one is found, it will soon be replaced by the next one.

What to do if your partner has put the relationship on hold, but won’t let go?

Understand what you expect from a relationship

In the first version of the relationship (with the Owner), a woman can be in a state of emergency airfield for years. At the same time, let’s not forget that the distinctive feature of the Owner is economy. He is ready to do anything for his well-being, but he does not care about your problems.

If a woman’s goal is to start a family and have children, it is unlikely that a long wait will contribute to a full-fledged union. And in general, the realization that for someone you are just a backup option does not add self-confidence and hope for the future. On the contrary, the longer such a relationship lasts, the lower self-esteem falls and the chances of establishing a personal life decrease.

Don't give in to the fear of being alone

Perhaps the woman’s relationship with the Owner continues out of fear that nothing more good will happen in her life or “let it be like this than nothing at all.”

The fear of being alone is not the best guide to life. He often pushes into relationships that infringe, humiliate and do not bring joy and pleasure.

You shouldn’t be led by your fears, otherwise you risk remaining an alternate airfield.

Relationships with the owner are toxic for a woman, and if you are not able to break them off on your own by outlining your goals, then you should seek help from a specialist.

The longer you are in such a relationship, the less confidence you have in your abilities, and you are ready to settle for what is out of fear of changing something in your life.

The origin of a relationship between a man and a woman

Very often, even when meeting a man, women make some mistakes that completely kill the relationship at its very beginning.

The main and most common mistake of most women is the instinct of ownership. Yes, not only men have such problems. Some ladies, immediately after meeting and establishing mutual sympathy, try to take the “bull by the horns”. They hang around men’s necks, call and write many times a day and actually demand meetings.

When meeting such a woman, almost all men prefer to hide from her horizon and not even try to get to know her better. It is extremely important for a man to feel and understand that it was HE who chose the woman and achieved her, and not vice versa.

Speaking of relationships, a man also needs time to realize that he himself wants a serious relationship with a specific woman, and not with someone else. If a woman is not sure that they have started a relationship with a man she is interested in, it is better to refrain from intimacy so as not to bitterly regret it later.

The second common mistake women make is being too open. Men, unlike women, can perfectly well have sex with a partner for whom they have no feelings. At the same time, for many women, physical intimacy is already evidence of a serious relationship. Such women immediately open up to a man, telling him about their own feelings and plans for 5 children and a house by the sea.

In such a situation, the man will either continue to sleep with the woman without a full-fledged relationship, or he will leave at the first opportunity. It is extremely important for representatives of beauty to maintain some mystery around themselves, and under no circumstances talk about their feelings until it becomes clear that we are talking about a relationship, and not about sex without obligations.

The demanding nature of a lady is another reason why a man may avoid a serious relationship. When, at the very beginning of an acquaintance, a woman begins to present a bunch of claims to a man, coupled with demands, justifying that he owes her because he is a man, you can forget about the relationship. Firstly, in order to make any personal demands on a man, you need to meet his requirements yourself.

Secondly, even if the relationship has already begun, but has not yet developed, there can be no talk of any demands. Especially if such a relationship is based only on sex. This can be called a mutually beneficial cooperation rather than a partnership.

The heap of problems that single women often dump on a new man they know can scare away anyone. Of course, every divorced or single lady dreams that a man will appear who will immediately rush to help her and solve her problems. But this is the lot of television novels, but not real life.

In life, no one wants to immediately take on other people's problems. Mutual assistance requires a long time of communication, trust and, at a minimum, feelings. When a woman, immediately after meeting her, begins to tell a man about her life troubles and problems that require solutions, you can forget that he will want a relationship with her.

After all, you must admit that a woman is unlikely to want to contact a man without work, money, housing, with a bunch of illnesses and debts. Everyone wants to see a settled and prosperous person next to them.

What actions to take

So, a man wants a relationship without commitment. No matter what a woman says, and no matter how hard she tries to keep her face up, it hits below the belt.

What to do, what actions to take so as not to bite your elbows later? Before you make your final decision, remember that this is only your life, so any step for you will be the right one a priori!

All a woman can do in such a delicate situation is:

• try to revive (stir up) the relationship;
• take the same position as a man;
• break off a hopeless romance.

We will not consider the second point seriously, since this is a deliberately losing position. All that a woman will achieve is to relieve a man of the heavy burden of responsibility, making his life even more beautiful. Moreover, she herself will suffer from this - that’s how psychology works.

Constant discussions

Talking with your loved one is always interesting and useful. Unfortunately, there often comes a point in a relationship when joy and fun give way to a constant discussion of misunderstandings and minor conflicts. All this places a heavy burden on both partners. Most often, it is the man who gives up first.

In order to avoid such developments, you should always remember why the relationship was created. Two loving people, if desired, are always able to find a way out of any conflict in a few minutes. To do this, they should remember that they want to be together.

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Differences in Goals

As cynical as it may sound, love is not all that is required to maintain a stable relationship. It is very important that this wonderful feeling is also combined with the same aspirations on the part of the partners.

For women, relationships are often central to their lives. Their constant development is goal No. 1. Men often have a much more practical view of life's issues. This is largely due to the fact that today, in most cases, it is the man who is entrusted with the responsibilities of providing financial support for the family.

In this situation, it is very important for both partners to coordinate their goals. Often in order to develop joint tasks. This will avoid understatement and perhaps even preserve relationships between people with very different goals.

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Where have serious men gone: a little history

How did it happen that relationships ceased to be so important for men that they would strive to tie the knot with the woman they liked? It's all about changing the moral standards of society. Moreover, women themselves played a huge role in this. In the old days, a man after marriage received:

• The ability to constantly communicate with a woman alone.
• Regular sex, which was not condemned by society and the church.
• The position of a respectable father of a family - such a person was trusted much more than a lonely adventurer without a wife and children.
• Power over a woman (however, sometimes the calculations came true exactly the opposite).

The sexual revolution, into which the weaker sex “plunged headlong” and overly aggressive feminism, has led to the fact that it is now possible to communicate with a woman alone and have sexual contacts at least 24 hours a day. No one will say a word - on the contrary, they will also praise you.

The same applies to the status of a family man - this is paid attention only in certain circles (politics, serious corporations, etc.). Few people now need power over a woman: taking into account all of the above, this has become irrelevant.

The current state of affairs cannot be called immoral or bad - it is a natural course of events, which it is stupid to resist.

But you can and should adapt. By changing your perspective and taking a few steps, you can almost always look forward to a long-term, serious relationship with a man you like and who likes you.

Possible reasons for a pause in a relationship at the initiative of a man

• the woman loves him too much, almost to the point of nausea, and he wants to move away to see if he can feel the attraction again;
• the woman annoyed him with her hysterics, reproaches, alterations and crazy drinking. He can no longer tolerate constant quarrels. By distancing himself, he tries to force her to calm down and think with her head, or is simply afraid of doing something stupid in the heat of the moment;
• stress. A difficult situation at work or in their personal life causes some men to withdraw from everyone in order to process everything and decide how to move forward with their lives. This is how some men struggle with stress, and here they need support in the form of a calm reaction from a woman. But more often than not, a difficult situation is just an excuse, but in reality he wants to end this relationship;
• the dullness of everyday life saddened him, he wanted romance, but for some reason it ended in this relationship, none of the couple wants to create it, the man chooses to suspend the relationship in order to get at least some emotions, think and look for them somewhere else;
• the man is disappointed in the woman, no longer sees her as a life partner (or never saw her and the time has come to end the initially unnecessary relationship);

Lack of personal space

One of the most common reasons for a breakup on a man’s initiative is a decrease in free time for his own hobbies. Women, when they are truly passionate about their partner, try to spend absolutely all their time with him. A man often just needs to be alone with his own thoughts. He must be able to comprehend everything that is happening, make certain decisions, while being confident that no one will disturb him.

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The simplest solution to the problem would be for a woman to find her own hobby. She should remember that she is the same person as her man. She has similar rights to her own time and personal space.

A man after a divorce is afraid of a new relationship - c'est la vie?

It happens that the choice is made correctly - he is a truly reliable and faithful man who can fix a faucet and meet his beloved with a hot dinner. He even loves children and could become an ideal husband, but does not seek to commit himself.

Previous negative experience interferes - a breakup; such a man does not want a relationship after a divorce. System-vector psychology shows that there is a certain psychological type of men - caring and family-oriented - for them, separation becomes a big shock, which seems to nullify a man’s sincere efforts to create a family.

Even if such a man was burned in a relationship only once, he generalizes this experience and subconsciously projects it into the future - this is how his psyche works. You need to understand that if this man enters into a new relationship, he is afraid of repeating the situation when he had to suffer from a breakup. And he makes the “natural” conclusion that it is better not to start a serious relationship with a continuation at all.

Loss of self

This reason for ending a relationship on the initiative of a man is very common. It would seem very romantic to do absolutely everything together. At the same time, a man is not always ready to quickly exchange his “I” for a common “we”.

Representatives of the stronger half of humanity fear the loss of their own personality almost more than anything else.