Does your man not appreciate you? You sacrifice your time and desires for him, and he won’t even say “thank you”? Everything you do for him, he takes for granted. And it’s even more offensive that he finds fault with you and ignores any requests. In this article we will tell you why men do not value the women they love. And most importantly, we will give 5 recommendations, after which a man will begin to appreciate your every action towards him. And you will again feel loved, desired and significant next to him.
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Signs of depreciation
So how does devaluation manifest itself in relationships? A man constantly makes you wait or seems to completely forget about the appointment. Your opinion doesn't matter to him at all. At the last moment, despite the agreement, he cancels the general plans.
And sometimes he behaves as if you are forcing him to give gifts or asking him for money for your needs. As if you are not worthy of anything and he is doing you a favor, so to speak, from the “master’s shoulder”.
You have to earn his love and play by his rules. He dumps negativity on you, but he himself is not ready to listen or support. When you need him, he is never around, he has urgent and important things to do. For him, you are in honorable twenty-fifth place - after friends, work and pets.
Everything is literally boiling inside you from anger, resentment and accumulated discontent. You want to tell him everything you think about his behavior. So that he would finally feel ashamed. And he finally began to appreciate you and everything you do for him.
Stop, stop! This won't help matters. Because the result will be another quarrel, your tears and his: “I’m tired of your claims, you’re always dissatisfied with something. I don’t force you to do all this. If you don’t like it, look for someone else!” You may have heard something like this more than once. So you ask the question: “Why do women bend over backwards to please, but men don’t appreciate them?!”
Signs of disrespect from your husband
Photo by Keira Burton: Pexels
The feeling of being disrespected does not appear immediately. It resembles a small crack appearing in the asphalt. At first it is invisible, then it grows more and more until it finally turns into a gaping hole.
You stop in front of her in confusion, feel powerless, realize that you are falling apart, becoming a victim.
disrespect humiliates, makes you feel your own weakness, and reduces self-esteem. It fills you with heaviness and deprives you of the desire to live.
If you feel bad when you are with your husband, check to see if he has stopped respecting you. Here is a list of 20 signs:
- He no longer talks about his day, mood, events, meetings, or shares his impressions.
- Doesn't find time for you. He is occupied by work, sports, TV, and urgent tasks.
- Doesn't help you. If you ask for help, he gives it reluctantly and often puts it off due to lack of time.
- He speaks negatively about your appearance and clothes. This happens not only when you are together, but also in the presence of relatives and strangers.
What to do if a man doesn't appreciate you?
- He talks about you as if you were small, stupid, worthless.
- Doesn't listen to you. You talk about what happened at work, with your child, and you realize that you are speaking into the void. The husband will not be able to answer the question or comment on the situation adequately.
- Doesn't recognize your achievements, isn't proud of you.
- Doesn't introduce you to acquaintances or friends when they meet. You're just standing there like a doll.
- Doesn't take your side in an argument, even if he knows you might be right.
- He avoids your company; on the contrary, he prefers to communicate with other people, including women.
- He prefers to remain silent and ignore your questions.
- He belittles your merits, even if he is aware of them.
- He only cares about himself, for example, he buys his own shampoo at the store, without even asking if you or the children need anything.
- Comments on you and your actions behind your back.
- Treats you like you're nothing.
- Hides purchases and things from you.
- Subscribes to pages with sexual content on social networks.
- Treats your family and friends rudely. Allows negative comments about them.
- Ignores and constantly violates your personal boundaries.
- Does not accept compromises, refuses negotiations.
The list can be continued, but even sincere answers to these questions will make it possible to understand whether a husband respects his wife.
Life story
Olga did everything to ensure that her relationship with her husband was long-lasting. Breakfast in bed, helped with work and agreed with all his decisions.
He always had clean and perfectly ironed clothes, a hearty dinner. She completely took charge of organizing everyday life and did not ask him for help, so as not to distract him. Go grocery shopping and bring 3 huge bags of 10 kg each home? No problem. Take out the trash? Why ask for such trifles, especially since his hands are busy with the phone. I'll go down myself.
She also created and maintained romance in the relationship. I made surprises. Therefore, Olga was absolutely sure that her husband should carry her in his arms. But it turned out the other way around. Over time, my husband began to take everything for granted. And if nothing was ready for dinner, he would unleash all the dogs on her.
Olga looked around and was jealous. Because one friend’s husband brings coffee to bed, the other constantly compliments and gives gifts. Despite the fact that they are not strained in a relationship, to put it mildly. Of course, she felt injustice and resentment. As a result, she began to make scandals for her husband and billed her for everything she did for him and the family. They began to live like a cat and a dog. But everyone, of course, was sure that he was unconditionally right.
Mistake 1. Lack of self-confidence and fear of losing it
He is so caring, funny and popular, a real gem! He earns money, loves his children, doesn’t drink – what more could you want? And then many women are overwhelmed: what if someone covets her happiness, gets into the family and takes it away? Or worse - the man himself will become bored, he will cool down and go to another, leaving her alone. On this basis, she begins to create problems for herself, clinging too tightly to her chosen one, catering to all his whims, sacrificing her principles. And men read this fear with lightning speed and come out of their heads: it’s no joke, there’s a woman living with him, ready to do anything not to lose him! One day he forgets to give flowers. Then he stops helping around the house. Then he begins to download his license, believing that everyone around him owes him. And she endures, feeling unworthy, dependent or weak (choose your option). And until you learn to value yourself and set firm boundaries, the man will continue to wipe his feet on you. You yourself allowed him to do this.
Why men don't appreciate: the real reason
Unfortunately, such stories happen all the time. And the reason for the problem is quite simple - it lies in the thoughts of a woman and her attitude towards herself and towards men. If, first of all, you always and in everything think about a man, about making him feel good, and I’ll somehow get by, and in general I can handle it myself, then you don’t love and don’t value yourself.
All your actions and words have become the norm and even more so – your responsibility. Because you let the man know that this attitude suits you, you are ready to do everything for him, even to the detriment of yourself and your comfort. As a result, the man completely stopped noticing what he should appreciate and thank you for.
Women who value themselves do not sacrifice themselves, their needs and desires for the sake of relationships. They never give more than they can. At the same time, they receive a lot of love, tenderness and affection from their men - without lectures or persuasion.
What kind of gratitude do you expect from a man?
First of all, tell me honestly - how should gratitude be expressed to a man who appreciates you? Million Scarlet roses? Signs of attention, gifts, constant desire to please you? Attention to you and your problems, everyday help and support? Verbal expression of gratitude and admiration?
Or simply - since he doesn’t give up, it’s probably because he appreciates it - that’s enough?
Of course, it is best if all of the above takes place! But it’s worth setting priorities - what is more important for you and what does the man himself put first ?
Keep in mind, this is where a discrepancy ! Well, for example, a man loves your cooking and devours the delicacies of your preparation on both cheeks, but does not consider it necessary to colorfully describe how wonderful a hostess and cook he is. Logic - “I eat, that means it tastes good to me!” If it wasn’t tasty, I wouldn’t eat it!”
And you desperately want to hear at least one simple compliment - you look expectantly into the man’s eyes, and he... bursts and remains silent! And the conclusion creeps in - the man doesn’t value me...
And generally speaking. Men are terribly straightforward creatures.
They are sure that if a woman does something (cooks, washes, dresses up, gives gifts, etc.) it is only because she likes it! It won’t even occur to them that all this work is needed only so that he, a man, appreciates and loves ! Therefore, showering yourself with gratitude and admiration for every little thing a woman creates has no special meaning for a man - she did it, which means she wanted it herself , and she has already received pleasure from the result of her labors!
So advice to you from “Beautiful and Successful” - if you do something, do it for yourself , and not in order to earn a positive assessment from a man.
Cook if you are interested in cooking and want to try something tasty. Dress up if you feel uncomfortable in a stretched T-shirt and dirty jeans. Give gifts if you like choosing them with love for your loved one...
Men don't appreciate: 5 recommendations
Apply them in practice, in your relationships, so that your man begins to appreciate you and your actions!
Get rid of the fear of being alone
Because he forces you to become dependent on a man. You are always afraid to do and say something wrong, because then he will leave. And you will be left alone. Moreover, you are afraid to express your opinion and always agree with the man, no matter how absurd his decision may be.
As soon as he asks for something or expresses his desire, you abandon your, perhaps very important, affairs and literally run to do what the man wants. And you hope that he will highly appreciate your action.
How to get rid of addiction >>>
Stop making complaints
And even more so, read out to a man a list of what he should value you for. Because this will only aggravate the situation, causing resistance and a defensive reaction on the part of the man. By proving to a man that he is wrong, you are trying to break through a concrete wall. This means you lose an incredibly huge amount of energy, which would be better spent on internal changes.
Identify all negative beliefs about yourself
For example: “I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not smart enough, no one but him will love someone like me.” And replace them with supportive ones. For example: “I am a unique and wonderful woman. I am worthy of love, care, gifts and all the best.” After that, make a list of what you value in yourself (for example, well-groomed hair, a beautiful smile, a gentle look). And be sure to say this to yourself every time you pass by the mirror. And within a week you will feel how your self-esteem will become much higher.
Affirmations for self-confidence >>>
Shift your focus to your loved one
That is, take your mind off the man and thoughts on how else to please him. Realize your needs and desires, pursue your fulfillment in your work or hobby. Basically, do what brings you joy.
And finally start loving yourself. Not for something, not through praise from anyone. But simply because you are you. Because there is no other person like him in the world.
Create a new relationship scenario
In which a man appreciates you, thanks you, pleases you and cares about you and your well-being. Describe in detail how a man treats you and imagine an image where you are the most valuable and desirable woman for him.
How to rewrite the relationship script >>>
What to do if nothing helps
If a man does not value the relationship, and the woman’s attempts to gain respect do not help, you need to find a specific reason and work with it. The main condition is that both partners must be interested in continuing the relationship.
When a man doesn’t want to change anything, and a woman is ready to fight for his attention, you can try to break up for a while. Living at a distance will make a guy reconsider his attitude towards you and change.
If a temporary separation leads to a final break, it is not worth seeking the man’s respect.
Mistake 2. Inability to say “no”, insist on your opinion
Agree, it is difficult to respect someone who does not have his own individuality, who agrees with you in everything, assents, and lives by your interests. In such relationships, it quickly becomes boring, fire and interest disappear, and there is no exchange of energies. Your wife seems somehow stupid and empty, she copies you like a parrot, transmitting your thoughts as a carbon copy. Perhaps she simply does not want to offend anyone, she is trying to please her man, to support her - but not at the cost of her own self? You need to understand that in a relationship there must be a dialogue, an exchange of views, even if you preach radically different ideas. This fuels interest in each other, shows you as a person capable of thinking and using your own head, and defending your beliefs. Such a woman is much more interesting than a stupid dummy. Because he knows himself well, has his own views on life and interests. For this I want to respect her. A man will never stop appreciating such a woman!
