How to break up with a man: advice from a psychologist for women

Love and relationships

How does a man cope with a breakup if he is the initiator?
Stages of male experiences
How do men's experiences of a breakup differ from women's?

Men suffer from separation no less than women. It’s just that ladies don’t like to restrain their emotions and are ready to tell the whole world about their suffering. And the stronger sex is secretive. When going through a breakup, a man demonstrates to those around him a great mood, showing how he easily copes with such little things.

Most imaginary optimists actually experience serious emotional problems: they become depressed, become drunkards, begin to lead an immoral lifestyle, or simply suffer quietly.

But for everyone around them, everything is still “fine”

How to break up with someone who loves you

So, you are the initiator of the breakup. The decision to break off a relationship with the person who loves you is not easy in itself, and you can hardly expect understanding from the other side. Your partner won't understand you. You feel guilty and don’t know what to do in such a situation. However, if you do not love a man, and the relationship cannot be called ideal, doubts are unnecessary. Staying in a relationship only out of fear of hurting your partner is definitely unnecessary. Don't waste your time or his. Relationships that are based on pity are humiliating for both women and men. Often, representatives of the fair sex delay separation because of their compassion for an unloved person. It may also be a reluctance to feel guilty and a fear of being alone. You may be afraid that you won't meet someone you can love and who will love you.

It will be difficult for the other half to believe that the relationship is coming to an end. A man's husband can send numerous messages, call all the time and convince him that it is not worth leaving. Manipulations with tears and blackmail are also possible. This is all done in order to make the partner feel guilty. There are men who threaten to commit suicide or even demonstrably commit it. It's about emotional pressure. It is important to remain firm and not fall for such techniques.

Your words and actions must be extremely careful. You should not entertain a person with easy hopes. When meeting him, try to act in a friendly manner, but make it clear that there are no more feelings. If possible, you should try to communicate with your ex-partner as little as possible. This will be quite difficult for couples who have common children. However, the relationship should be respectful but neutral. It's best not to flirt with your ex or try to remain friends with him. The latter may work, but switching to friendships immediately after a breakup is not a good idea.

Who are we breaking up with?

How men experience a breakup depends on who the woman was to him. The breakup of a long-term relationship entails deep emotions. Separation from a frivolous person is easily and calmly tolerated.

The girl leaves

Unmarried guys experience separation from their beloved no less deeply than married men. But they usually act differently. Having lost a partner, they try to treat “like with like.” They find a new object for courtship. Thus, pursuing several goals simultaneously:

switch attention and try to get rid of sad memories;
make the departed lover jealous;
increase self-esteem.

If the new relationship turns out to be unsuccessful, the young man will again seek the favor of his ex. Acting on the principle “the end justifies the means,” he will monitor her life, bother her with calls and late repentance, be jealous and make claims.

Losing a lover

The inevitable ending that awaits a man living in two houses. No matter how long such a relationship continues, the outcome will be the same: you will have to make a choice. A man has a hard time dealing with such a breakup. Especially if the relationship has become habitual. A strange woman is like an oasis where you can relax, take a break from family worries. Losing a lover is not only painful, but also problematic. After all, the legal spouse should not feel a change in mood. Otherwise, you can be left broke, having lost two women at once.

Divorce from wife

Separating from your wife is always a tragedy. It doesn't matter who initiated the divorce. If a spouse leaves for another woman, he suffers from remorse. In addition, he loses an established life, a familiar environment, and is deprived of the opportunity to communicate with a loved one.

If your spouse leaves, the separation will be even more painful. When a person loses his family, he loses his self-esteem because he realizes that he has been defeated by a happy opponent. Some, finding themselves in such a situation, behave with dignity. Others, showing weakness, humiliate themselves to scandals and showdowns, trying to blame their spouse. Still others are trying to get their loved one back by any means possible: they are looking for meetings, calling on the phone, turning to parents and friends for help.

If a man wants to break up

How do men cope with separation if they want to end the relationship? There are two possible answers:

When the relationship is over, and love and passion have given way to frustration and irritation, both partners feel relieved. A man strives to gain freedom, become independent, and by breaking the union he feels satisfaction.
If the decision is not mutual, the situation becomes more complicated. Having left his former lover, a man feels remorse. Therefore, he tries to make amends to the woman.

Parting with a beloved man

It’s worth noting right away that you won’t be able to forget the person you love quickly. In psychology, separation is compared to a small death. There are a number of reasons why the person you love cannot be with you. The most tragic situation is when he is no longer alive. In addition, these could be your and his mistakes, too fast a development of events in which no one really understood what happened.

A situation in which feelings still remain is much more complicated than one in which they clearly no longer exist. You will hesitate and doubt. This is normal, because this is your loved one. It is recommended that you think things through carefully. If you love him, but understand that there are no feelings on his part, you should make a final decision.

Close together2

Courageous women make the decision to leave the man they love. Such a step is not easy, but most often unpleasant circumstances push it. It's hard to love a man who is an alcoholic, a despot, or a womanizer.

Each of the three nominations has a destructive effect on relationships. Women are patient creatures, but seeing a drunken, lumpy face every day is unbearable. It is also difficult to endure beatings and insults from a brutal dictator. And it’s terribly unpleasant when a loved one rushes after every passing skirt, like Kuzka after Murka in the March period.

Girls endure any adversity for a long time, but in the end they come to the decision to end a difficult relationship.

Features of correct behavior

If you have thoughts about breaking up, try going somewhere first. In practice, it often happens that the woman herself is not ready to leave. She needs to be alone with herself, in particular, to be without a partner. A very important point - during this period you should not even maintain friendly relations with him. Try to avoid talking on the phone, meetings and correspondence. This will be a waste of time on something that has not yet cooled down. Wait at least a couple of months, and then you will need to meet and talk.

How to break up with a man? How to break up correctly?

How does a man feel after a breakup?

The feelings of men are not much different from what women experience. Pain, melancholy, fear, jealousy, regret, sadness - all these emotions tear the soul apart. But outwardly, a man, as a rule, remains unperturbed.

Pexels Photos

It is extremely rare to see tears in a man's eyes. And the roots of this behavior also lie in childhood. The boys were taught to be strong, they were told that they should not cry and show their weakness, their sincere emotions.

“You’re not a whiner to cry! You’re not a girl to chew snot!”

Therefore, representatives of the stronger sex hide their true feelings.

How to talk to a man correctly

It is recommended to ask for forgiveness, say thank you and say goodbye to a woman not over the phone, but in person, in person. You can express what does not suit you, share with your partner what you have realized. If you talk after a certain time, and you can talk on any topic, it means that the binding that we mentioned is gradually weakening. However, if you feel pain during the conversation, this indicates that the addiction still exists, and the possibility of reconciliation exists.

Sadistic phrases7

The next type of women is even more insidious than their predecessors. In appearance, they give the impression of calm, somewhat sad ladies who meekly and dramatically invite men to break up. Their phrases are not accusing, they are full of touching notes and gentle blasphemy, because their text is at odds with what is associated with the “break.”

The girl talks about the inevitability of separation, adding a sadistic phrase, the meaning of which, like a sharp knife, pierces the partner’s soul:

"We can stay friends!"
“You’re so wonderful, I’m not right for you!”
“I felt so good with you, I don’t know what came over me!”

“You are the best guy in the world and I will never have this again!”
“Perhaps someday we can be together, but not now!”

It seems to the woman that, having heard such a phrase, the guy will calm down and accept the separation with a light heart, but while she is being nice to him and collecting her things, a devil is born in his chest.

When to say goodbye

When a woman has decided to break up, before announcing it out loud, she needs to say words like “I’m leaving you” to herself. It is recommended to live in this state for at least one, and preferably several weeks. It's worth taking a break in a relationship. This will help you make the most solid and, very important, correct decision. There are different types of separations: they are possible for couples in love who have only recently been together, as well as for spouses who have lived together for a long time. Situations are especially difficult when a couple has children.

When planning to break up with a man, a woman believes that she can find happiness without him. In her dreams, she is sure that somewhere in the world there is a person who will be ready to truly love her. Perhaps she could find someone who would be nearby at just the right time. This is a fairly stereotypical situation, and it’s not a fact that the new man will be better. Often the opposite is true. Without working through old problems, the lady will get bogged down in new squabbles and face the same problems in relationships, which can have an extremely negative impact on the psyche.

Basic types of behavior of ex-men

As previously mentioned, society has firmly established the opinion that men are not capable of experiencing and expressing emotions in the same way as women. This judgment is far from the truth: although men do not often show what is in their souls, this does not mean that they do not experience strong feelings.

Below we will consider the behavior options of ex-men after a breakup, which was preceded by a serious relationship.

Boomerang.

Often, men's logic looks no less strange than women's. A striking example: after leaving (and even at their own request), they soon want to renew the relationship, call, write SMS, and seek meetings. It is up to the woman to decide what to do with this behavior of her ex: agree with the man or stop all his attempts to establish contact.

You can find out why exes come back here:

Look, I have a new love.

With these words, a man tries to show that he is in demand. It’s not a fact that the girl he chose as a replacement is really worthy of competing with you. With her, he feels like a heartthrob, even if he is not in love. With this behavior, the former man confirms his authority.

Gossip.

It is believed that women are masters of gossip and collecting information about acquaintances. But men, and especially former ones, are able to give odds to any women's team! The behavior of ex-boyfriends often leads girls to a dead end. From mutual friends, they can hear a lot of unpleasant words about themselves, spread by the former lover. The man’s desire to present himself as the injured party is the reason for this behavior.

New friends.

If a guy behaves like a gentleman after a breakup, you shouldn’t be upset that you broke up. After all, you can try to become friends with him. Indeed, who would refuse such a friend: restrained, behaving like an adult, experienced, noble person. In this situation, you are able to gain even more than you lost. It’s a pity that this type of behavior of a former man does not occur as often as we would like.

Strangers.

There are situations when only years later a man and a woman understand that all this time they were moving in opposite directions, were interested in different things, and were far from each other. Their relationship is accompanied by resentment for wasting time, and they decide to leave. Naturally, such a couple is unlikely to maintain contact even after a breakup.

These are just the basic types of behavior of ex-men, which are not specified based on the reasons or characteristics of the breakups. There are no identical breaks; each depends on the baggage of the relationship that preceded it.

How not to traumatize your psyche during a breakup

First you need to understand for yourself that after ending a relationship, you should not look back and expect something in return. You don't owe anything to your partner or to anyone except yourself. If you remember this rule, parting will be easier.

It is very likely that the man is not ready for you to leave, so you need to be friendly when breaking up. It is important not to give in to negative emotions and not make your partner a source of evil. Negativity only destroys the psyche, resulting in a feeling of weakness and devastation. And in the future, it is precisely such people who will be drawn to you; this is something worth thinking about.

Analysis of feelings12

In order to properly break up with a man, without causing men’s hysterics, angry tirades and crocodile tears, a woman needs to listen to the advice of psychologists: “How to leave a man.” The first thing she should do is sort out her feelings and understand whether she really doesn’t need him anymore.

Let her imagine him with another woman, and imagine her own world without his presence? If your heart does not bleed and does not clench into a fist, then you should move on to the second step. And if your ex has confessed his love and is ready to take a step toward reconciliation, you should listen carefully to your heart.

Pause in relationships

Before the final breakup, psychologists recommend that the couple live separately for some time. Such a pause in a relationship helps you change your perception of the situation and comprehend what happened in the past. A completely new picture will appear in your mind based on the experience you have had. A woman must go through a series of processes, feel her own worth, understand whether there is joy for her in solitude, and only then decide whether separation is necessary in principle.

It often happens that, after being without a partner for some time, a woman understands that she needs him, and that in fact she does not want to leave. In this case, during the period when you are alone with yourself, you need to try to comprehend everything, understand what mistakes you made, and what you need to do so as not to repeat them in the future.

Letter from Tatiana5

Women are romantic in nature. They confess their love, their worries and their reluctance to communicate through eloquent messages. A long message on the phone, describing in bright colors her desire to leave, will in no way soften the decision. A letter in a pink envelope sent by carrier pigeon will not help either. The man will read the letters and remain completely confused: what’s wrong? Why?

Girls are big fans of surprises. They can write such a message at the moment when a man has packed his bags with the goal of moving in with his beloved and starting a family. Only in the evening they discussed how good and cozy they would be together, the next morning the guy, singing a cheerful song, rushes to her house, and suddenly: Tili-li, “there’s a message for you!” Darling, we need to part...

How to break up correctly and maintain confidence

The stronger a woman’s energy, the more she will feel her own importance. She will be able not only to give her love and energy, but also to receive it in return. When breaking up, it is important to avoid negative phrases and tell your partner that you gave him your best years. It is likely that the answer to this will be “I might not give it away.” Attempts to blame a person are a direct indication that you cannot exchange energy, and this is always a direct path to powerlessness. Those who don't know how to give only lose.

Phrases about being taken advantage of by your partner for a long time are the result of an unhealthy relationship. The feeling that you were taken advantage of should not remain, because, being in such a moral state, you will not be able to build new healthy relationships. Already with other men, you will still feel that you were taken advantage of. Keep in mind that no man wants to build a relationship with a woman with whom he is uncomfortable.

The task of a woman who has decided to end a relationship is to preserve maximum energy during the breakup, so that she can then enter into a new life with her.

2/ Second commandment. Live life to the fullest and use every moment to become a better person.

Most likely, lately (even in happy relationships this happens) you have completely abandoned yourself and many of your interests. Because your partner has been a significant part of your life. By the way, conflicts most often arise from such a imbalance. And behind them come separations. There lived a happy, versatile man, interesting to himself and many others. And then he had Big Love and Relationships.

All. No person. Now his whole world revolves around his beloved.

Now is the time to address what you have decided to sacrifice for the sake of your Relationship. Restore old connections, pay more attention to your family, throw yourself into work, resume sports and hobbies if you have abandoned them. All this will help you take your mind off your worries, restore strength, and raise your collapsed self-esteem. This is important to understand: self-esteem does not rise thanks to self-hypnosis like “I deserve more.” It grows and strengthens only as a result of useful, productive activities that bring visible results. And you will receive them: in friendship, work, sports, hobbies. Provided that you immerse yourself in these activities headlong. You will see changes in your appearance. Often so amazing that this fact alone will lift you out of depression. The main thing is to stop suffering! And do something useful.

What should you absolutely not do when breaking up with your loved one?

But you will never succeed if you commit

How to properly leave a relationship

If you are still in a relationship, it means it is not over. They are, rather, saltless, and everything that was at their beginning is no longer there. You increasingly think that previously your partner would not have acted as he does now. This suggests that the development of the relationship has ended and its disintegration has begun. Many women have gone through a similar moment and know that seeing feelings die is very offensive and painful.

Psychologists say that love is a verb, not a noun. At some point, partners stop taking their relationship to new levels. If the feelings have faded, it is probably the choice of one partner. In this case, this is the choice of a woman who has lost the desire to invest in a relationship. In fact, true feelings and harmonious relationships are a constant growth, associated with a number of difficulties and outbursts.

How to cope: advice from psychologists

First of all, you must be patient and go through all the stages of realizing the separation as a fait accompli in order to finally start living without the other person.
A favorable outcome also depends on the approach and willingness to start life as a clean slate , as well as on individual inner strength, which will allow you to stop thinking about the end of a love relationship as the end of the world.

Stop looking at the past and try to start building reality from scratch, as if you were just born and have not yet lived: enjoy the good weather, which is favorable for a walk and a sudden working day in a schedule that will allow you to forget about loneliness.
Get busy. Exercise releases endorphins, hormones produced by the brain that make the body feel excited and happy. Mental activity completely occupies the head. This makes it possible to reduce pain, speed up the “wound healing” stage and clear the mind.
Don’t blame yourself and your companion for how the circumstances turned out: what happened happened. It is not known whether there are more or less suitable ways to end a relationship, and there are certainly no ideal people. Do not judge the person with whom you were in a partnership, but try to evaluate your reactions from the outside, as if it was not you who broke up, but, for example, your good friend.
Analyze the nature and motivation of the emotions that continue to bubble within you. This can only mean two things: either you still deep down want to get back what you lost, or you are trying to forget about it, but you can’t. Try to think carefully about how you feel - not for the sake of self-flagellation or masochism, but for the sake of working on mistakes that will help build happy relationships in the future.
After your relationship is over, it's best to focus on yourself and think about how you want to build your life. Change your position or job, discover new hobbies and talents, lead an active lifestyle.
Take your love out on other people. This does not have to be a new relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Pay attention to parents, siblings, nephews or other relatives. Perhaps they have needed your help for a long time, and you simply did not notice it.

Painless separation from a man

Women are afraid of the pain of separation, but the true pain is to betray oneself. When such betrayal occurs, we lose the opportunity to build new relationships and grow in them. To reduce her pain, a woman needs to start working on herself. It doesn’t matter whether the pain goes away or remains. In fact, wherever you go, your problems will be with you and will not go away from you. And even if you manage to build a new relationship, the old problems will still remain.

It is necessary to change. You must understand what these problems and this relationship can give you, what they were for you, and what is the reason for the separation. You need to think about whether you could change something about them.

Psychologists recommend writing down on a piece of paper what you can be grateful for to your partner, what new things he gave you the opportunity to learn about yourself and about the opposite sex, what lessons this relationship gave you. It is recommended to draw a number of conclusions and write what you would like to do differently in a new relationship. Such awareness will make it possible to understand why you were in this relationship. Also, such work makes it clear that similar actions in the future will lead to the same result.

How to break up with a guy? How to break up with a guy painlessly?

The main signs of a man's longing for his ex-girlfriend

Do men get bored after a breakup? Certainly! But the degree of boredom will always depend on several factors, and even if the breakup itself was in absolutely terrible shape, and its cause was meanness or deception on the part of the girl, the guy will still be bored.

However, very often a man’s behavior can indicate the opposite. Having met her ex a few days after breaking up, a girl may notice with surprise or horror that he has forgotten to think about her, let alone miss her.

But everything is not so simple, because male melancholy can be expressed in the most unpredictable forms:

So the main sign that a guy is really bored will be a sudden change in activity. When he starts doing something he has never done in his life, such as rock climbing, mountaineering, parachuting or wild boar hunting, draw conclusions;
Drunk everyday life to the detriment of your business. No sane guy would get drunk knowing that his diploma defense is coming up, he has to go to work in the morning, a business meeting is approaching, and so on. Are there similar symptoms? It means he's bored;
I have never liked noisy companies, but suddenly he starts gathering friends, and he himself is not averse to having fun somewhere in a club or at his friends’ country house. It’s no secret that noise is a great distraction from obsessive thoughts, and in our case this is that very sign;
When a guy loses his temper with countless girls, dragging them into bed one after another, this can be regarded as one of the ways to take revenge on his ex for everything. It happens, but sometimes such behavior can be just a way to drown out inner feelings.

Of course, all guys are different, and they also express their feelings differently. Sometimes you don’t get a word from them at all, sometimes they can pursue their still-beloved ex in the hope of regaining her affection, or they even throw themselves into all seriousness, knowing that the way back is forbidden.

How to avoid mistakes when breaking up with a man

Women very often use separation as a way to manipulate their partner. Many of them demonstratively pack their things and announce their departure with shouts and complaints. Such separation is far from the best method. People generally disagree when they have nothing else to quarrel about. It is important to avoid manipulation, because at some point a man will simply let you go without regretting it at all.

The best time to break up is when you are consumed by grievances and feel empty inside. Dealing with this condition on your own can be difficult. Then it is recommended to consult a psychologist. A woman’s state of apathy can drag on for months, or even years.

If, when breaking up, you want revenge and think about how bad your partner is, you are making a serious mistake. Just imagine the situation that at some point he may not be there. When breaking up, it is recommended to forgive your partner and wish him only the best.

Remember also that even after breaking up, there may come a time when you need the help of your ex-man. This is another reason why parting as enemies is highly discouraged.

Should you be friends with your ex?

Sometimes ex-partners choose to maintain their friendship after breaking up. Moreover, when making such an offer to each other, they often understand that this will be an impossible task. Why do so many people consider amicable behavior after a breakup to be the ideal outcome?

Here we are not considering options for breaking up after a recent acquaintance. Such couples can easily erase each other from their lives. But what should those who managed to live together for some period of time do? What if you already have children together? In such a situation, it will not be possible to forget about each other’s existence. The behavior of people who have shared so much in life is close to friendly. They will have to maintain communication, resolve common issues and even congratulate each other on the holidays.

It is obvious why friendship is needed after many years of relationship, marriage or when there is a child. However, this is not as simple as it might seem at first glance. It is necessary to recover from a breakup, and at the same time you have to continue communicating with your ex-passion. Over time, this behavior will become natural for both parties.

The case is completely different when there is no marriage or child, but the couple resumes communication. Most likely, this happens for a reason: such friendship never brings with it truly friendly impulses. Perhaps one of the parties needs confirmation that there are no more feelings here, that is, it is really impossible to continue the relationship. The girl strives for reconciliation, and the behavior of the ex-boyfriend in such a situation often boils down to sex. You shouldn't get your hopes up about such a friendship. Usually no development follows, and communication ends again.

How to break up correctly

If you have already made a clear decision to separate from your partner, it is recommended to take into account the advice of psychologists who will help make this period as easy as possible:

It is recommended to put away all those things that are reminders of your relationship. These could be framed photos, pictures on your phone, gifts your boyfriend gave you. You don't have to throw them away or burn them. Simply place it in a separate box and hide it as far as possible in the closet. It is important that they do not catch your eye and do not remind you of the breakup.
It is important to switch your attention to something. Find something to do that you can immerse yourself in and that will distract you. This could be a new job, some kind of hobby, sports. That is, you must be constantly busy.
You need to concentrate on yourself. In the period after a breakup, it is not recommended to immediately rush into a new relationship, since the likelihood that you will repeat past mistakes is very high. It’s better to understand yourself, analyze your mistakes, and understand what this relationship gave you. It is important to remember that all experience is valuable. Even if it seems to you that everything could not have been worse, you should learn certain lessons for yourself.

What not to do after a breakup

You shouldn't try to remain friends with your ex - it won't lead to anything good. You can keep in touch, which is especially important if the couple has children together. But it is recommended to meet on neutral territory, call and talk only about business. Also, try to avoid flirting. Don’t tempt a person with false hopes and don’t torture yourself.
Try not to look at your ex-partner's social media pages. This way, you will continue to live his life and it will be much harder to let him go.
Some time after the breakup, there may come a time when you start to miss your partner and want to let him know. In such a situation, it is important not to call or write to him. If the desire to speak out is very strong, it is better to keep a diary and write in it everything that is in your thoughts. When the emotions let go, you realize that you did the right thing.
You shouldn’t demonstratively try to prove to those around you, including your ex, how good everything is with you and how wonderful your life is. People sense inauthenticity, and you will likely find yourself at least in an awkward and, at most, in a miserable position.
If your ex-man gets a new woman, the worst thing you can do is take revenge. Firstly, this will look extremely low in the eyes of others. Secondly, there is no point in such actions, since the decision to separate was conscious.

Breaking up is always difficult. It's hard not to give up. Not all advice is universal. Each couple's situation is individual. When young people who do not have children and may not have been married break up, everything often happens smoothly, and, having met a new love, a woman easily erases past relationships from her memory. The hardest thing is for women who get divorced while still having small children.

Therefore, before breaking up, it is important to weigh the pros and cons, evaluate all the nuances and think: perhaps everything can still be fixed and changed. Do you love your partner, are you ready to accept him as he is? If you love a person, you need to learn to trust him.

It doesn’t matter who we’re talking about – your ex-partner or your new man. In any case, you must respect him, and in fact, not every woman can do this. If you want to build a healthy relationship, you need to develop respect and trust for your other half. Trust and freedom are precisely the main factors on which true love is built.

If you have decided to break up with your current partner and want to build a new relationship that will be on a completely different level, then you must respect both him and yourself. In this case, you will not demand that he show feelings, you will not try to change him and bind him to you. These things are the main factors that kill relationships.

In the end, it’s worth summing up how to break up with your partner correctly and get through this difficult period easier:

You must declare your decision to separate firmly and not hesitate. Before doing this, you should evaluate whether you really want it, be alone and analyze the pros and cons.
It is important to maintain fairness, but avoid cruelty.
Be prepared for negative reactions. If a man loves you, of course, he will not want to leave. The negativity on his part in response to such a proposal is quite understandable.
It is important to set boundaries in future communication. It is recommended to minimize contact with your ex-partner.
Think in advance about whether you have somewhere to go.
Give yourself time. It may not be possible to get over a relationship that has ended right away. This is fine. It is important not to try to speed up this process, to live and feel the separation.
Try to enjoy life as much as possible. Find a new hobby, change jobs. During this period, it is important to distract yourself and focus on something else. This will help you avoid getting bogged down in your own negative thoughts.
Change the environment. If possible, you can go on a trip or simply change something around you. This will help you start a new life more quickly and painlessly.
You shouldn’t look for a new partner immediately after a breakup. Without working through your old relationships and the mistakes you made in them, you risk repeating them again. New love is only possible when you are ready for it, and the period immediately after a breakup is clearly not the best for this.
There is no need to be interested in your ex's life. Try not to visit his pages on social networks and do not ask mutual friends about him.

Error three. Monitoring social networks and gossip.

Almost all people during a breakup periodically monitor their ex’s pages on social networks. How they cause irreparable damage to themselves. At the same time, the details of relationships and separations are endlessly discussed with friends in the kitchen, at the bar over a glass of wine. For men, this happens a little differently, but in general the differences are not too great. Women cry on their friends' shoulders. Men drink a lot and, having completely lost control, share their experiences with their close friends.

Why is all of the above dangerous?

What should you absolutely not do when breaking up with your loved one?

First of all, stalking your ex takes up too much energy and time. Are you looking for confirmation that your ex is doing poorly without you? Trying to read between the lines and catch the hidden meaning in ordinary posts? It's so easy to slip into schizophrenia. Many people probably had such an obsessive friend (or girlfriend), who at some point raised concerns about their mental health. Having found a completely banal status on a social network, a photo of his ex at a disco or in a company of friends, he yelled: “Here! I told you, she feels very, very bad without me! She’s deliberately trying to look cheerful in order to offend me!” And it’s okay that the ex has long forgotten about the abandoned guy, she really lives a cheerful, full life (as evidenced by photos on social networks). No reasonable arguments help. The unfortunate abandoned man is sure: it’s all out of spite for him. No matter how funny he is, anyone can be in his place. If he starts looking at his ex’s Instagram 50 times a day and looking for some secret messages there.

Secondly, even if your ex misses you, and every new post on his page clearly shouts about this. But at the same time, he does not take any steps towards reconciliation or at least rapprochement, which means your value is still too low. But, feeding yourself false hopes, you just can’t get unstuck. Waste your precious time and reserves of your energy on mental torment. This is the same as if a smoker would smoke constantly, wanting to get rid of a bad habit. Instead of forming new habits, being distracted by useful activities.

What should you absolutely not do when breaking up with your loved one?

What if you see that your loved one is truly happy with someone else? Do not persuade yourself that you will immediately let him go with God, wishing him happiness. Most likely, this news will throw you into another round of depression.

Besides, imagine how pathetic you look, peeping through the keyhole at someone else's happy life.

The same goes for endless conversations about failed relationships with friends in search of answers to the questions “why?” and “why?”, Tarot readings, visiting astrologers and similar activities. The opinions of friends in this matter most often do not help. And sometimes they do harm. Only these two can truly understand what is happening between two people. But by constantly thinking and talking about your departed partner, you only strengthen your emotional and mental connection with him. Again, you lose energy, which at this moment should be directed to strengthening and transforming your own personality. Better memorize