Love cannot be spoken about unambiguously or adjusted to standards. Everyone has their own understanding of this feeling.
And yet there are situations in which close relationships are undesirable, unpleasant, or an emotional burden.
When entering into a relationship with a married woman, not every member of the stronger sex understands what awaits him.
What started out romantic and beautiful, over time becomes overgrown with unpleasant sensations - jealousy, pangs of conscience and the need to hide from everyone.
To avoid troubles, it is better to build relationships only with free representatives of the fair half of humanity.
And yet, anything happens in life, so it’s time to remember the proverb: “Forewarned is forearmed.”
If an affair with a married girl seems inevitable, it is useful to know what to prepare for.
A few words about self-esteem
Any representative of the stronger sex is flattered when a married woman pays attention to him. This can be explained by the competitive spirit inherent in all men.
If a lady, despite having a close man, pays attention to you, this will amuse her vanity.
A relationship with a married woman feeds your own ego and gives you self-confidence. On occasion, you can brag about your love successes to your friends or colleagues.
For example, an affair at work with a married woman will bring more hassle and trouble than positive things.
You will have to carefully hide from employees and superiors, weigh literally every step or word so as not to accidentally give yourself away.
While pleasing their own pride and self-esteem, many guys forget about the “other side of the coin.” Married ladies very often have affairs on the side simply to compare their spouse with another man or simply to have fun.
This state of affairs is very unpleasant. Playing the role of entertainment or comparison model is humiliating.
All for the sake of your goal!
If a man loves a married woman, he is obliged to evaluate his feelings very carefully and responsibly, so as not to make mistakes. If a long, leisurely analysis shows that a busy lady you know is the only chance for a happy future, you need to develop a strategy. The easiest way is for the one to whom the woman reciprocated. If a lady is convinced that the person she met after marriage is the same person without whom life is not sweet for her, you can invite her to leave her previous relationship and start a new family. By joining forces, the two will cope with the delicate state of affairs faster and more beautifully.
But if a man, although he likes a lady, is not going to plan a future and a family with her, then there is no point in starting. Without serious goals, you cannot ruin someone else's marriage. No matter how much a man loves a woman who has already chosen another partner for life, if he is not going to be with her until the last day, we can say with confidence: the woman will be happier with her first chosen one.
Temporary relationship
Before you win a married woman, you need to accept that such a relationship will not be permanent. The romance will last a month, a year or several years, but most likely it will not fall into the “forever” category.
There is nothing more permanent than temporary. In a relationship with a married woman, you will have to live for today and not think about the future.
If you remember why ladies have affairs on the side, the futility of such relationships becomes clear.
Women rarely leave a family, even one that is far from ideal. Some are looking for entertainment, others make up for what they lack in communication or in bed with their husband.
At the same time, most women clearly understand that their romance is a temporary whim. Therefore, their intrigues end in separation, and not in a new marriage.
Sooner or later, love for a married woman will become a burden for her, and a source of mental suffering for you.
Representatives of the fairer sex start affairs when there is a crisis in their relationship with their husbands.
The psychology of women is such that as soon as the black streak passes, she begins to look for a way to get rid of her boring and no longer needed lover.
Motives
It is a mistake to think that the initiator of this type of call is always a person, it all depends on the person’s personal perception or purpose.
If we look at the stronger sex side, the reasons may lie in the following issues:
- Being a married woman is a great way to avoid responsibility. Why get involved in household matters when you can just date for a good time.
- In the case of romance with such a woman, the desire for revenge often plays a large role in the psychology of the relationship. A person may have bad experiences in the past to feel betrayed. After such a shock, the worldview changes, and there is no place in it for “male solidarity.”
- They often meet on the basis of mutual sympathy. If the feeling of passion is born, it is unlikely that anyone will stop the marriage law.
- Another possibility is that a free man is hunting another victim. The goal is to add new names to the big list of “wins” to strengthen again.
Regardless of the goal, always remember the consequences!
The weaker sex in this sense is careful and aware, their motives are often lies:
- He rises to reveal the horns of the spouse who is in pain. Thus, whether he wants to consciously or not, play to rush for a blow to self-esteem, hurt his love.
- Life, time and inattentive lovers destroy the family hearth, and a married woman begins to look for heat on the side.
- Everyone wants to feel like a leader, desirable, sexy. If you have funny, compared, humiliated people in your home, start looking for external recognition.
- Relationships need love and passion, which unfortunately tend to disappear if it doesn't heat up. In this case, against your fears, you can start looking for another partner who will satisfy his needs.
Eternal fear
Before you win a married woman, you need to answer yourself honestly: are you ready to fear publicity all the time? Hiding and playing a double game is a lot of stress.
It is only in films that the main characters manage to masterfully deceive those around them; in life there is a much greater likelihood of screwing up something.
As soon as others become aware of the affair, trouble will inevitably arise. The righteous anger of the deceived spouse will fall on both of you with incredible force.
If you have an affair at work with a married woman, the condemnation of your colleagues is the least of your troubles. In many organizations, intimacy between employees is prohibited by corporate ethics.
When information about you reaches your superiors, expect trouble. You may not be fired, but you will definitely be demoted or transferred to another department, away from the object of your forbidden passion.
Relationships with a woman with a family should be hidden from friends and relatives. They will most likely judge your love for your married woman.
You'll have to hide from everyone and be afraid of every passerby on the street - what if it's someone you know? Then, thanks to gossip, a chain reaction will occur - other people around you will become aware of your relationship.
Potential Liability
It is extremely rare that the prospect of a relationship is visible from the first date. It happens that a light affair eventually develops into something more serious and long-term.
An affair with a married lady is no exception. In the process of a forbidden relationship with a man, a woman may want to start a family with him.
She will leave her husband, file for divorce and will wait for your actions. Answer yourself the question: are you ready for such a turn of events?
Before getting close to a woman with a family, you need to think through different options for the development of events, not excluding the transformation of a light romance into a serious relationship.
Another aspect that should not be overlooked is children. If your chosen one has a child, when creating a new family, she will expect you to take part in raising your son or daughter.
Do not forget that the child has a father who will not disappear after the divorce, but will still remain an important person. It will be difficult for both him and the newly-made spouses.
A woman may want to have a child together, or it may happen that she becomes pregnant during your affair. This is a huge motivating force for leaving the family and creating a new relationship with you.
If your love for a married woman is sincere and strong, you will be delighted by the prospect of a future together. By starting a relationship simply out of a desire to have fun, you can play too much, and the consequences will become more than unpleasant.
Conqueror's instinct
Whatever you say, our modern “macho” in an Armani shirt and a Tissot watch on his wrist has not run very far from his distant ancestors - primitive men, who in life were guided by base animal instincts.
What distinguished the leading men of the tribe? That's right, their strength, dexterity and ingenuity allowed them to get all the best - the best pieces of meat in the hunt, the best caves for living and, of course, the best women. There were even bloody battles for the most attractive females, in which, according to tradition, the strongest won.
Why be surprised, the entire history of mankind is full of examples when the desire to possess someone else’s woman led to catastrophic consequences. Just look at the story of Helen the Beautiful and the subsequent Trojan War.
A modern man, regardless of his position in society, remains the same invader. That is why, when he takes someone else’s woman away, he experiences a truly wonderful feeling of superiority.
Finance. What would we do without them?
Money is not the most important thing in life, but it makes it possible to achieve many goals. Giving your beloved woman a bouquet of flowers or a gold ring from the new collection of a famous manufacturer, going on a date or just having dinner at a restaurant - all this requires money.
In a relationship with a married woman, the lover competes with her husband all the time. If the chosen one’s family budget is modest, it’s not difficult to impress her. An ordinary bouquet of roses will cause indescribable delight.
But if the mistress’s husband is a wealthy man, it will not be easy to surpass his gifts. The bouquets should be huge, and the restaurants should be expensive and as prestigious as possible.
In this case, only creativity and romance can save you, which will allow you to present even the most modest bouquet as something wonderful and incredible. But will you last long?
When choosing gifts, you will have to take into account their visibility and ambiguity. Flowers can still be attributed to corporate congratulations, but the appearance of a new gold chain or even a set of underwear cannot be plausibly explained.
Elements of conspiracy will follow you everywhere, even in such sweet and romantic things as choosing a gift.
Troubles and ways to avoid them
Why do men relatively often pay attention to other people's wives? Psychologists have been thinking about this situation for a long time. It attracts no less attention from philosophers. It is known that many were attracted to a pretty and pleasant lady, knowing that she had already tied the knot. Others, analyzing their attitude, later concluded: the main reason was precisely the fact of marriage. You don’t have to worry that such a lady will ask to marry her. Fearing being bound by marital relations, men immediately choose those who have already entered into them, so their personal freedom will not be threatened. It also happens that a man almost immediately finds out that a lady is married, at this moment he does not even love her, but continues to get closer, almost deliberately escalating the situation.
It also happens differently. The man cannot figure out what to do. “I love a married woman!” - this thought beats in my head, does not give me peace, does not allow me to breathe calmly, and deprives me of sleep. Some in such a situation do not even make attempts to attract the lady’s attention, or all such insinuations end in failure. All that remains is to fight your feelings. What to do?
Spending time together
One of the most difficult things is that love for a married woman not only has to be hidden from others, but also shown only when the chosen one has time for it.
Be prepared for the fact that on weekends you will be waiting for her from family picnics at the dacha, going on a visit, or even a secluded vacation with your husband.
You, as a lover, will have to come to terms with her family's plans. This becomes especially problematic when preparing surprises.
Want to surprise her with a surprise Sunday picnic under the stars? What a pity, but the mistress will have to refuse - the husband has returned from a trip and he needs to cook dinner.
And so every time. Any surprise will always have a chance of complete failure due to the inability to predict the actions of your beloved’s spouse or children.
Too many emotions
Love is the source of many positive emotions, but in addition to happy moments, an affair with a married woman also has negative sides.
You can start with pangs of conscience and thoughts about what people will think. Public opinion always plays an important role in life.
The fear of making relationships outside the family public will also torment your chosen one, giving her a lot of negative emotions, for example, a feeling of guilt for cheating on her husband.
Even if her family relationships are far from ideal, she will still consider that she is acting meanly by cheating on her spouse.
Morality
If you follow generally accepted moral principles, you can be unhappy all your life, but in the right way, as society demands. You should be the last one to worry about what people say, do what you think is necessary. Think about your destiny, motivation, personal life. Do something you won't be ashamed of.
Is the game worth the candle or is it just another entertainment with cruel consequences for one of the parties? There is no one correct, right decision, each situation is individual, and the responsibility for all decisions lies solely with us.
This article is posted for educational purposes only and does not constitute scientific material or professional medical advice.
