Psychology of breakups: do men return, when and why does this happen?

Parting is always difficult for any loving female soul. And if a woman loves, she begins to wonder: “Do men come back after breaking up?”, “How long to wait, how long does it take for a man to return after breaking up?” etc. Everything, of course, depends on what your relationship was like (you are husband and wife, just lovers, etc.), how close you are, whether you separated out of stupidity and still love each other or whether the love has passed, etc. In any case In this case, it is important for a woman to know when and in what cases her loved one returns. A man is not a mysterious alien creature. He, just like a woman, worries, suffers, and gets bored. Therefore, there are certain signs that indicate whether a young man will return or not, and whether he is ready to continue your relationship. Psychology also knows the answers to the question “Why do ex-men come back after breaking up.”

Signs your ex wants to get back together

There are several basic clues that will make it clear that your lover wants to return. But one of the most important things that you need to keep in mind and answer honestly is how positive the relationship was. If you are sure that they were positive and you parted very stupidly, then most likely your loved one will return.

Below is a list of signs that will indicate that your ex-boyfriend still loves you and wants to get back together. So, 12 signs:

  • after several months of silence, he wrote you one or two messages;
  • you broke up because of the distance between you. Perhaps you had to move to another city or leave for certain reasons. But if you really have feelings, then distance will not be a problem and you will be able to reunite;
  • his relatives called you and said that the faithful misses you;
  • a handwritten letter of love came from him;
  • your chosen one has not removed you from friends on social networks;
  • the separation passed calmly, without quarrels and mutual insults;
  • it is possible that the lover had too many problems, so he needed to focus on solving them. So, most likely, he will want to return;
  • he is jealous of you, so he cannot allow you to date someone else;
  • mutual acquaintances and friends tell you what he remembers about you;
  • your ex-boyfriend is trying to meet you by any means;
  • leaves statuses on social networks that confirm that he misses you;
  • your beloved gets nervous and angry when he sees you next to another representative of the stronger sex.

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What will a psychologist advise if the prodigal husband returns?

Scandals and hysterics are behind us. You have come to terms with his departure and the fact that now you need to start your life again. But then he appears on the doorstep with a suitcase and a guilty look. If your husband returns from his mistress, how to behave. Is it worth being the same as before or do you need to change something in your life?

It is a mistake to remind about what happened at every further showdown. You shouldn't do that. If you have forgiven or accepted back, behave with dignity.

So, you have forgiven and accepted back. What to do next? You need to build trust. Be prepared for unreasonable jealousy. He will stay at work a little longer, and you are already making up a story for yourself, you will torment him with jealousy, constant calls, checks (sometimes some women even manage to keep an eye on their beloved ones). This won't last you long. A person who has returned his family has the right to another chance and trust.

  • Become interesting to him. If before you completely dissolved in it, now find yourself hobbies (embroidery, drawing, theater, music). By learning to devote time only to yourself, you will become independent and interesting. Or maybe even your new hobby will become your small profitable business, which will also give you financial independence.
  • Don't ask him to account for every step. Forgiven - trust! If you can't, you always have a choice.
  • Love yourself. Start playing sports, take care of yourself, update your wardrobe. Delight him with your new look. Even if he is tormented by remorse for wanting to leave such a woman.
  • Don't try to be a bitch, but don't fawn over him either. Be natural. Don't be rude to him. Don’t try to constantly remind him of his mistake or sort things out. You have let him into your life again, now your task is to create a cozy atmosphere so that he is not pulled to the left again.

Don't excite his feelings and don't force him to constantly apologize to you. He's having a hard time right now. Yes, I was wrong, but I realized my mistake and apologized to you. But he is not obliged to constantly ask for forgiveness; there is no need to force him to do this, catering to his own pride.

And now your relationship is only in your hands. And how you can build them depends only on whether you still love this person, whether you are ready to live the rest of your life with him after his action. Be wise, be above insults and hysterics.

How to behave if your ex wants to come back?

If you still love this man and have been waiting for him to return, in this case you need to accept his apology and get back together. Talk to him about your breakup and the conclusions you have drawn from past failures so that the relationship becomes stronger and more harmonious.

But if you are sure that you no longer need to have any communication with him, then do not make contact and try not to meet him anywhere. Move on with your life. In addition, you need to know that your ex wants to get back into the relationship for a number of reasons, which include:

  • he feels guilty towards you;
  • wants to ask for forgiveness in order to remain friends;
  • wants to give the relationship another chance;
  • just wants to know how you live, without changing anything;
  • he wants to know if he can manipulate you again;
  • There are only failures in his life, he needs money, so he wants to make peace.

Does a love spell work?

Now let’s go back to the beginning of the article and find out: is it true that a love spell can help? It’s strange that many people believe in some kind of power from above, because most often mistresses don’t do this: they are already loved for their special qualities that are not present in their own wife. And the reasons for all the throwing are described above.

But sometimes a mistress turns to some kind of witch if she feels that the relationship with a man is becoming tense, and he has returned to the family. The sorceress will wave her hands, cast spells, throw the grass into the cauldron and say that everything is done.

How does this work? The mistress believes that the spells have worked, and calmly and indifferently waits - he, they say, will not get away from me. Her indifference and silence are reasons for the married man to be alarmed: what’s wrong with her? Why doesn’t she call and demand anything? Is she getting ready to get married? Or maybe call her and return her past romance?

That's the trick. But in reality, all the magic lies in a woman - she herself is an attractive force for a man with her troubles, whims, humility, passionate sex and other things. Don’t go to grandma here either.

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At the moment when the husband returns to the family from his mistress, qualified advice from a psychologist on how to behave as a woman-wife can become the saving grace for a falling apart marriage. After all, maintaining composure and choosing the best tactics of behavior when the heart is “bursting” with resentment and emotions are overwhelming is not an easy task.

Why does your ex want to come back?

Every man who wants to reunite with his former passion has certain goals. Psychologists identify several main reasons that encourage exes to return:

  1. He realizes that he made a mistake. Sometimes people make rash decisions, driven by emotions, and then regret their actions. Representatives of the stronger sex with high moral qualities most often return to ex-girlfriends. They believe that the chosen one will have a difficult time without him, and her life will become worse.
  2. He was tired of loneliness. Having been a bachelor, the guy notes that delicious food does not appear on the table, the house is not cleaned on its own, and shirts are not washed or ironed. Being lonely, a man is forced to solve all everyday problems on his own. If the couple shared all expenses in half, then the desire to return may be due to commercialism.
  3. Disappointment in other women. Some men are accustomed to seeing certain qualities in their life partner that they expect from new passions. However, not every woman wants to be a cook, mistress and cleaner all rolled into one. As a result, a person begins to suffer from a lack of attention and care. Therefore, guys often express a desire to return to their former passions.

  1. A sense of ownership. In such a situation, even after breaking up, they continue to monitor the lives of their exes, because they do not want to put up with the loss of power. Realizing that the girl in whom he invested his time and resources may end up in the arms of another, the man returns.
  2. If he quit on his own. Men rarely return to women they leave themselves. But if the girl who initiated the breakup beckons, then in almost all cases they return, despite the fact that they may have a new relationship.

  1. We have common children. Many women wonder whether their ex-husband will return. If they have children, then this is a common story of husbands returning to their wives. However, without feelings for a woman, children cannot always become a decisive factor in the return of a spouse to the family.
  2. Emotional pressure. There is a category of girls who can achieve anything they want with their tears. They begin to put moral pressure on their boyfriend, acting through his friends, relatives and acquaintances.
  3. He managed to compare. The young man sees some shortcomings in his chosen one, and therefore decides to break up with her. But having started a relationship with another girl, he becomes convinced that his previous passion was much better. However, this does not always mean that the relationship can end with a happy ending. If on his life's path he meets a girl who meets his ideals, he will go to her.
  4. Real love. It’s hard for people together, but bad for people apart. And the lovers once again quarreled and decided to separate. They start a new relationship, but at one point they break off all ties with new passions and return to their exes. This can only be explained by true love.

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The husband left for his mistress

Having survived the first stress, he directed all his efforts towards restoring his relationship with his wife.
He realized that he was a bad husband, began to learn to cook, etc. This is not the only story. The main mistake of wives who decide to keep unfaithful husbands is trying too hard. Show that she is better than her opponent, focus on children, family, etc. Understand one thing: if a man has no intention of leaving, he will not leave, no matter how hard he tries or not.

If he wants, the same thing. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to speed up his departure if he is hesitating, or throw him out if he is not thinking about anything and is not going to leave.

I will explain this from a psychological point of view below. I don’t advise you to change in response - because here the result is 50/50.

Maybe he will forget his mistress and rush to bring you back, or maybe he will throw you out with a black eye. Very often, after a wife’s reciprocal betrayal, relationships improve for some time, including sexual relations.

Don't rush to accept your ex-boyfriend

In any case, the ex will make attempts to restore the relationship. They usually do this via SMS, calls or messages on social networks. If he calls or writes, try not to show your feelings, get offended or throw a tantrum. Since the decision was not easy for the beloved and it took him a lot of courage to contact you.

Therefore, be calm and try to communicate positively. Do not remember the past and mistakes of your loved one. You should have done this during the separation period. And if you rub his nose into his unsuccessful past again, you will only indicate to him that you do not believe in his sincere desire to make peace.

Why your ex will never come back

And although you want to believe that your ex-lover will someday return, this is not always the case. If he does something from the list, then most likely he will never return:

  • the man stops any communication with you, does not call or write;
  • blacklists on social networks;
  • starts an affair with another woman;
  • speaks poorly of you among friends and tells how you ruined his life;
  • you parted hard, it’s likely that one of you cheated.

Sign #3 – He is abusing your common cause.

If the spouses were engaged in a common business before the divorce, then they are forced to continue meeting, this time on work issues. In business negotiations, your ex may abruptly change the subject and bring up past events.

Common children are also at risk. According to the law, the ex-wife has no right to prevent the children from communicating with their father, who uses them as puppets. Makes them persuade you to return, makes them part of your conspiracy, turns them against you.

What does a woman need to do to get her ex back?

A young lady who has broken up with her lover and wants to return him should not provoke scandals. Psychologists recommend adhering to the following tips:

  • do not write angry messages;
  • do not pester your loved one with endless calls;
  • do not push for pity;
  • avoid discussing relationships during a chance meeting with your loved one;
  • show that you are independent and positive;
  • Organize a date yourself if your spouse does not offer it;
  • think over your image, the main thing is that it is natural.

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Why men come back after a breakup - men's opinion

Initially, it all comes down to the fact that they are interested in how his former passion lives. And if there is nothing interesting in her life, then he may not appear in her life soon.

And if her personal life has improved or career growth has occurred, this arouses interest and indignation at the same time that he did not become a participant in such cardinal events in her life.

If a couple has children, then the man considers it normal to appear regularly in the life of his ex. Sometimes such appearances can cross boundaries when he expresses a desire to stay overnight or asks to borrow money. Some even consider themselves entitled to kick out their ex’s new boyfriend, citing the fact that he is the father. On a subconscious level, they try to protect their offspring from the influence of another man.

Sometimes gentlemen decide to return because he does not want to start a new relationship and pursue another woman. With the ex, everything is simple, he knows all the approaches to her. In addition, some spiritual closeness pushes men to write or call their ex-lover when difficult life situations occur.

Intimacy

For some, sex is one of the components of a relationship, but for others, it is the most important component. And some men return to their former partners solely because they have not found another girl with whom it would be just as good in bed. If for some women a union built purely on sexual relations is unacceptable, then for others it is more than satisfactory. For some, an emotional connection is important, but for others, male libido and the ability to use it to their advantage are enough to be happy.

How does a man feel after a breakup?

For women who are used to taking decisive action, it is difficult to understand why men often return after a breakup. Male psychology has certain characteristics. The guys who initiated the breakup are relieved.

Tired of endless scandals and misunderstandings, a person wants to be left alone. If there were no good reasons for the separation, the man may soon feel devastated and regret what happened.

As a rule, a man’s pride does not allow him to express emotions openly, which does not have the best effect on his nervous system. To suppress his mental suffering, a person can do the following:

  1. He goes on a drinking binge. Often, after a breakup, men begin to abuse alcohol. This behavior can have negative consequences. But most often, after some time, the man is forgotten and returns to his previous life.
  2. Immerses himself in his work. Parting with your beloved can provoke an attack of workaholism. In such a situation, a man devotes all his time to work and tries to avoid any communication with the female sex. Thanks to this, he distracts and increases his self-esteem.
  3. He is interested in extreme sports. He learns to fly a hang glider, conquers mountains or takes part in fights without rules. Thus, he tries to avoid depression by releasing adrenaline.
  4. Frequently changes sexual partners. By changing his ladies every night like gloves, he asserts himself and emphasizes his own importance.
  5. Starts a new romance. Most men are not ready for a new serious relationship immediately after a breakup. But the care of a new lover helps to survive the separation.

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Reasons for what happened

Why do men come back?</p>

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