How to ask forgiveness from a loved one

There is no such thing as an ideal relationship. Whether we like it or not, sometimes we make mistakes.

The only way to restore the connection and trust between you and your loved one is to apologize for bad behavior, deception, neglect or misunderstanding

. You can do this by text message, email, card, note, over the phone, or in person.

Here are the best short apology messages to make your significant other forgive you unconditionally.

Content

• How to ask for forgiveness correctly so that you will be forgiven afterwards
• Examples of apologies
• How to improve relationships if you quarrel
• With a friend
• With a loved man
• How to ask a girl for forgiveness
• How to ask a guy for forgiveness
• With parents
• Rules: what else is important to consider besides words of forgiveness
• Why might you not be taken seriously or sincerely and reject your apology?
• Errors
• How are the phrases you say when asking for forgiveness perceived?

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Poems of forgiveness from friends

Friends betrayed, the woman left, The cold of the dog rubs at the threshold. Saving droplets of warmth Again the word and the road give.

***

I will open the damp door wide open, Stepping into the night mysteriously and quietly - Do not remember the dashing, - I say, - I have been given a lot of dashing today. 1981

***

Forgiveness cannot be begged with a tear, And the passing day will still melt, And, Shot by a summer large-drop thunderstorm, the firmament does not die.

***

We don’t have time to regret anything: We are all great and insignificant. And, knowing the path that, having chosen, we go, the World seems broken and tired.

How to ask for forgiveness correctly so that you will be forgiven afterwards

An effective apology should look like this:

1. You express regret;
2. You explain your wrong action;
3. You acknowledge your responsibility;
4. You confess of your own free will;
5. You offer to independently correct the situation;
6. You are asking to be forgiven.

The most important components are to admit responsibility and offer to correct the current situation yourself.

Professor Roy Lewicki conducted the study. Here's what he says:

“Our research has shown that the most important thing in an apology is admitting responsibility. Accept the fact that the fault is entirely on your side and it was you who made the mistake, not someone else.”

The next most effective strategy after accepting your guilt is to offer to improve the situation.

“An apology alone will not achieve anything, because in itself it is useless. Therefore, you must express your willingness to fix what is broken. This will reflect that you have accepted responsibility for the damage caused,” says Roy Lewicki.

It is also very important to express regret and repentance, and explain what you did wrong. And only last but not least should you ask for forgiveness,” the professor warns. You can do without this step.

Research has shown that if you change the perspective of the person you have offended, you will reduce the damage done. In this case, you should do the following:

1. The first step is to eliminate personally unpleasant moments.
2. Next, explain your action and state the reason. But don't make excuses for it!
3. You must back up your apology with real action. Show the person that you have changed.
4. Then you must restore the relationship with this person.

Analyze the situation

Now stop and think about what happened just now. Remember what offensive words you said to your friend in the heat of a quarrel. You can’t figure out how to apologize to a friend if you’ve seriously offended him, when you can’t remember exactly how you offended him before. And in general, it’s worth making sure whether you need to apologize... There are situations when both are to blame. Accordingly, you both will have to forgive each other. The only question is who will take that all-important first step. But judging by the fact that you are still reading this article, you are wondering how to apologize to a friend. This means that you have already decided to take the first step. Before you make a plan for how to apologize to your friend, it is worth remembering the entire quarrel from the very beginning. Often people remember many unpleasant things that were already mentioned during a quarrel, but friends may forget about the very reason for it. If you managed to remember the reason for the quarrel, do not think that you should only apologize for this... This is your friend. You know better than anyone what might hurt your friend. If you were upset with him, then, most likely, you pressed on weak points without even realizing it.

How to improve relationships if you quarrel

With a friend

There is no such thing as a perfect friendship. Sometimes grievances, quarrels, and grief still happen. There is no need to immediately put an end to your relationship; everything can still be fixed. Most often, friends insult not on purpose: without thinking, they were rude because of a bad mood, got into something that wasn’t their business, interrupted, etc.

It is worth maintaining a relationship only if friendship for you means devotion, honesty and mutual assistance. Any other friendship would have come to an end sooner or later.

In order to ask for forgiveness from a girlfriend or boyfriend, first you must know exactly the reason why he or she was offended. Talk to her/him to resolve the problem and maintain the friendship. Explain, say that you didn’t do it out of malice. But this should not be an excuse, you just need to indicate your motive. Apologize for hurting her/his feelings.

If the offended person is your friend, who is emotional, romantic and in nature, consider giving her an apology in poetry. Their examples are given above.

If your apology is not accepted, don't be upset. You did everything you could.

With a loved man

How to ask a girl for forgiveness

Often, their loved ones suffer from men’s mistakes. You can’t avoid mistakes, but you can learn a few simple ways to apologize to your girlfriend or wife so that she stops being angry and forgets your mistake forever.

1. Wait for the girl to cool down. There is no need to immediately climb into an open flame. This will only make the situation worse. Women take longer to leave than men. Within a day, the angry young lady will cool down and understand that your act was not so terrible. That's when you need to come up with an apology.
2. Do not follow the rule that “the best defense is attack.” If, instead of apologizing, you begin to reproach the girl for the fact that she, too, is not without sin, you can create problems even more serious than the original ones.
3. Repent.
4. Prepare a beautiful speech in advance. It is advisable that it contains kind words and compliments.
5. Don't hum, don't slow down, don't stutter. The girl will get angry. If you forgot the words, figure it out as you go, say that it’s hard and lonely for you without her.
6. Don't forget to buy a large bouquet and a gift when you apologize to your lover. Approach the choice of a bouquet with soul, you don’t want the girl to think that you are saving on her and not taking the situation seriously.
7. If your action is serious, and your girlfriend will not forgive you so easily, try to apologize in an original way. For example, show up at work with a huge bouquet of flowers to make her colleagues jealous (and at lunch they will talk about how wonderful and romantic you are), or prepare her a gourmet dinner personally.
8. When asked why you did this, which is asked by 90% of women, answer this way: “I was stupid!” or “Because I’m a fool!”

How to ask a guy for forgiveness

Every girl knows how to apologize to her boyfriend or husband - she needs to calmly explain the current situation. After all, usually this is just a minor conflict that arose out of the blue.

Here are some tips and phrases:

• Express your regret. Recognize that it is you who are to blame for what happened, and not circumstances or other people.
• Make peace in person, not over the phone, not via SMS. At the same time, look the man in the eyes. Your eyes are the best way to show how sorry you are for what you did. Don't hold back your tears.
• If you are not forgiven the first time, give the person time to calm down. Perhaps then he himself will take the first step.
• Make amends. Give him a gift that is valuable to him. And when giving it, say: “Beloved, this is for you. I'm sorry. I love you very much!".
• Choose the right time and place. For example, cook his favorite dish for a man and apologize during dinner.
• Stop in time. There is no need to make excuses for a long time, it will start to irritate.

With parents

Remember: your parents will always forgive you. They are the most dear and close people to you. Friends separate, the girl may not forgive, but mom and dad will always be with you. They will forgive you everything - what you said without thinking, what you did not call them due to lack of time.

Apologize for your lack of attention to them. Call them daily, find out how they are doing, how their health is.

The phrase comes to mind: “Parents are not chosen.”

First you need to understand that you are not always right, that you are also mistaken. If you notice your parents' shortcomings but don't see your own, it will be difficult to ask for forgiveness. Parents are also imperfect. They want the best for you, but don't know how to do it right.

For example, you did not follow the rule that your parents set. First of all, tell them honestly. Do not minimize your own guilt, do not make excuses or lie, otherwise you will create more serious problems for yourself. If you tell everything honestly, you will prove that you are worthy of trust, despite your mistakes.

Admit that you made your parents worry. Therefore, it would be right to ask mom and dad for forgiveness. Say this: “I'm sorry about what happened. From now on I will behave more decently, I will watch what I say. Sorry". Show that you are willing to bear the appropriate punishment. Mature people should always be responsible for their actions.

Poems - There are fewer and fewer friends.

I hope that at least someone who left untimely will answer the call. Well, what kind of crazy century is this, Where is the wreath laid in memory?

***

Perhaps we will meet in heaven or hell, I sometimes dial your number. You hear calls, I know for sure - you are missing in life's delirium!

***

On Friendship Day, I’m conditionally drunk. My soul wants to have fun, But my flesh has climbed onto the sofa And I really can’t get drunk.

***

Therefore, I appeal to you, To those who are still moving their legs, If you raise your glass, Then don’t forget about me. Oh Gods.

I don’t want to think about anything, The past is gone, long forgotten, I don’t want to remember what has long been covered with grass.

***

Everything has passed: betrayal, deception, Envy, slander and a sea of ​​anger, I will not submit myself to humiliation! Stop knocking on my thresholds.

***

I went to a distant land and it was as if I had broken free, But I couldn’t forget the sadness, Get the freedom I wanted.

Why might you not be taken seriously or sincerely and reject your apology?

• You are not serious

To ensure that your apology is taken seriously, it is better to choose the right environment for it. If you mutter, “So, are we friends again?” while bursting into laughter at a party, your words are unlikely to be taken seriously. It’s better to choose a place where you can explain yourself in a quiet environment, showing your feelings.

• You are insincere

If you do not admit your guilt, your words will sound insincere. The opponent will treat them with distrust. He will think that you have no intention of apologizing and will only become angrier. An effective apology must address the feelings and needs of the offended person.

• You are not sure of your words

You don’t understand your mistake, but you are trying to somehow improve the relationship. Most often it looks like this: “Forgive me, but I don’t know what I did.” The use of words such as “but” and “if” makes the addressee take them lightly.

• Wrong time

An apology won't work if you shout out that you're sorry during an argument. You won't be heard or taken seriously if you're still arguing. This is because when a person experiences negativity, they will not listen to you. Therefore, it is better for you to wait until you both calm down.

• Forgiveness via SMS

You are unlikely to be received sincerely if you apologize via SMS. If you meet in person, you are more likely to be forgiven. This way you can convey your feelings not only through words, but also through facial expressions and gestures.

Advice from a psychologist on how to properly ask for forgiveness and make peace with loved ones.

What is the right thing to do when apologizing? Options for various techniques

Take responsibility. Avoid excuses like “I didn’t mean that” or “why were you offended, it was a joke.” Research says that when we are honest, we can avoid depression and anxiety. Saying something like, “I'm ashamed that I said that,” or “I'm sad that I hurt you,” can ease some of the person's distress in this situation. Be gentle with people.

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Feel the other person's pain. You need to choose the right time to apologize. So as not to make things worse with your words. Start apologizing after the person is ready.

It is also useless to argue about who has the correct version. After all, each of you will remain with your own opinion. You can say this: “The words I said were not pleasant, and I understand why you upset me.” Then you can move directly to the words of apology.

Be sincere during the apology process! Be sure that the justification comes from the heart. Avoid ready-made phrases like “forgive me if it hurts you.” This expression may seem too superficial to be heard. Don't send messages or emails at first. Body and facial language and tone of voice are lost in writing. Always prefer to apologize in person. If this is not possible, then just call.

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Errors

Making a mistake while apologizing can only make the person angrier. So watch what you say. Don't make the following mistakes:

• Do not make excuses or look for excuses for your actions. Otherwise, it will look like you don't regret what you did. The person will notice this, and it will be very unpleasant for him. Your apology will be rejected.
• Don't blame the person when you apologize. Words such as “It’s your own fault!” or “It’s all because of you” are not welcome. Saying something that damages a person's self-esteem will ruin their path to reconciliation. You will talk about all this later if you manage to maintain this relationship.
• Don't overdo it. There is no need to overemphasize your repentance. The person will think that you are pretending. It's better to be more honest and sincere than to be dramatic.

Peaceful, open and heart-to-heart conversation

In the case when you do not want to leave your point of view in the past, but are still looking for a way to apologize to your friend, then simply invite your friend to talk. Without any squabbles, disputes or, God forbid, insults. The best way to start a conversation is with an explanation. Say what you want to convey and the purpose of this conversation. Lay everything out on the shelves. Remember the main reason for the quarrel, and further squabbles arising from it. But do it without aggression, don’t prove anything, just remember what happened. If all these points went well, then move on to the next...

Trying to hush up the conflict

• "Sorry, and let's forget about it."

Apologies don't work like the neutralizer from Men in Black. They do not erase the offense and its consequences. It’s one thing when a victim’s foot is stepped on—it’s usually easy to forget about it. And when the offender stepped on his foot and broke it before an important sporting competition, this incident will probably come to mind more than once.

And that's okay. One person messed up quite a bit, although he didn’t do it on purpose (I’d like to think so). And the second one can experience a whole range of feelings, periodically slipping into anger and despair. So we need to give him time to accept the situation.

Choose the right time and place!

If the time and place for an apology are chosen poorly, then all your efforts will fall to dust. No one should interfere with your conversation. And your friend should definitely watch your video. Or read the letter. As for the second, you can simply “force” him to watch a video or read a letter when he comes to your friend’s house. This choice has its advantages. You will see your friend's reaction to the video or letter. If you decide to make do with a conversation, then call a friend somewhere or come to his house.

Be direct2

Avoid words of uncertainty such as: “sort of”, “a little”, “almost”, “maybe”. The apology must contain directness, confidence in guilt and responsibility for one’s actions. For an apology to be understood correctly, it must be conveyed clearly and directly, without any doubt. Otherwise, the interlocutor will think that the culprit does not realize what he has done, but is simply trying to hush up the conflict in any way that is beneficial to him.

How to apologize

Depending on the situation, different media are used to ask for forgiveness.
To choose a method of apology, one starts from the reasons.

1. If required by assignment or requirements, then you need to apologize at the very beginning of the request. A phone call or email is suitable for this purpose.
2. If a misunderstanding occurred during personal communication, you can apologize after a while by meeting face to face with the person again or sending him an SMS message.
3. If certain requirements are delayed or not met, it is worth sending a business letter.

Focus on the victim's reaction

• “I’m sorry that you were upset because of my words...”

And again the unwillingness to take responsibility. There is no regret or sympathy on the part of the offender. But there is an attempt to shift the focus to the reaction of the one to whom he is apologizing. It looks very generous: they say, I didn’t do anything special, but since you’re so sensitive and upset, then so be it, I’ll ask for forgiveness.

Human emotions are a reaction to words or actions. They may seem excessive to the offender, but the victim is already experiencing these feelings, and they must be taken into account.