There is an opinion that everyday life kills love and, if not love itself, then it certainly cools the reverent and sensitive attitude of a man that he demonstrated during courtship and the honeymoon. The moral standards of modern consumer society inexorably state: in marriage, love is not born, but dies. Let's talk about how to behave with your husband so that he is afraid of losing you. Advice from a psychologist at all stages of development of marital relationships.
It is very important to talk about your feelings to the one you love because you never know when you might lose them or when they will lose you. One Tree Hill
Before marriage
If you want to master driving, then before you get behind the wheel and turn on the ignition, you should go through a certain period of training.
This statement can be applied to any type of activity, but for some reason it is often not taken into account by those who are planning to start a family - divorce statistics are freely available. It is necessary to prepare for family life before it begins, during the period of courtship and choosing a future spouse. It is vitally necessary to carefully observe, find out, and do not hesitate to ask questions to a person who claims to be a future husband and father.
The main mistakes that a woman makes at the courtship stage, and which cool or completely negate the interest and respect for her on the part of a man:
- The woman takes on the leading role in the relationship, looks after the man, tries excessively to please him, to demonstrate her economic talents; she makes dates, pays bills, gives gifts to a man, in a word, leads him in the dance.
- A woman furiously in love turns a blind eye to all the shortcomings of a man, to his disrespectful attitude, bad habits, ridicule - all so that the man does not leave, even if he has not yet thought of leaving.
- A woman in love mistakenly believes that a man will change after the wedding and the strength of her love will contribute to this.
The above illusions are cultivated in the female mind by cinema and completely disappear in the first years of marriage.
Under the pressure of everyday difficulties, problems associated with giving birth and raising children, the first intoxication passes, and the woman finds herself face to face with a man who is of little interest to her, who does not respect her and generally has a huge set of negative properties and habits that were invisible before marriage and not subject to change by the power of her love. Basic recommendations during the premarital period:
- Approach the choice of your future husband with a clear head.
Ask people whose opinions you trust to evaluate your future chosen one, point out his positive and negative sides. - Carefully observe a man’s behavior towards other women who are significant to him
: mother, sister, ex-wife. Do not flatter yourself if he is rude, irritated, insults other women - over time, this fate will not escape you. - Give the man the opportunity to look after you for a long time.
There can be no question of any respect for a woman in marriage if a man got her without effort. The higher your activity and interest during dating, the faster a man will lose interest in you. - Test a man:
you must be completely sure before marriage that the level of moral development, life principles and upbringing of a man will allow him to become a good father and a caring, faithful husband. A man who wants to “live for himself” and “get everything from life,” because “he deserves it,” is simply obliged to resign before it’s too late.
How to behave with a man in bed before and after a quarrel
The quarrel becomes a thing of the past as soon as a way out is found. Do not remember grievances or suspicions.
In bed, avoid the following topics:
- unsaid claims;
- doubts about honesty;
- new discontent.
If after a quarrel the desire for intimacy has not yet arisen, say directly that you are worried about what happened and are not in the right mood.
Don't let conflicts affect your intimate relationships.
Married
Most modern people suffer from one form or another of neurosis.
Thus, a neurotic in love strives for complete undivided selfish possession of another person, wants to dissolve in the object of his passion without a trace, without thinking at all about how this will affect his wife. In this case, there can be no talk of love; on the contrary, they talk about unhealthy dependence. Neurotic women are jealous and subject to emotional storms, they strive to control every step of a man, follow him with their tail, forgetting about their own lives. All of the above actions on the part of a woman are a surefire way for her husband not only to grow cold and stop respecting her, but to even go on the side in order to get rid of unbearable oppression and control.
Despite the closeness of the spouses, distance must be maintained in family life.
Some tips for maintaining your attractiveness in marriage:
- Don't become complacent after the wedding.
This concerns the appearance and grooming of a woman. - And again about the benefits of distance:
a man should not be present when applying makeup, hair styling, depilation, not to mention more intimate hygiene procedures. - Don't become a caring mother for your husband.
Take it as an axiom: if a wife raises her husband as a son, she is preparing him for another wife. - Do not visit your husband's men's company.
Have your own social circle, personal interests, personal time.
Love yourself
Dear women, remember: self-sacrifice has long been out of fashion, especially in the love sphere. The more you protect your spouse from everyday life, shouldering all the responsibilities on your fragile shoulders, the more he will move away from you. Think for yourself: is it really pleasant for him to come home and see his tired, half-asleep wife with a distorted face and drooping eyes? Of course not. If you don’t know how to make your husband jealous and afraid of losing his wife, the first thing you must do is. This is how to love yourself. And as a result, spend more time on yourself – charming and attractive.
The husband will immediately pay attention when the wife starts dressing beautifully, doing new hairstyles, and visiting a manicure salon. To whet his interest, often spin in front of the mirror in the evening, smiling mysteriously. In the morning, when getting dressed for work, also spend a lot of time admiring your reflection. Don’t forget to ask your spouse if you look good today and how he likes your appearance. Believe me, this is one of the most effective ways to make a husband afraid of losing his wife.
Cheap manipulation
On the Internet you can find mind-blowing recommendations for regaining the attention and respect of a “cold husband.” They are associated with trips to fortune tellers, techniques for inciting jealousy and, in essence, are cheap manipulations over the will of another person.
A manipulator is a flawed, neurotic person who achieves his goals with flattery, helpfulness, the desire to cause jealousy, vigilant control, power suppression, in a word, anything but patience and respect for the feelings of another person.
It is much more honest, although more difficult, to talk about everything honestly and, if necessary, distance yourself for a while.
Help magic
Often women turn to otherworldly forces, not knowing how to make their husband afraid of losing his wife. Magic, they believe, will help consolidate the results obtained after using the other methods mentioned above. I present a popular ritual that is easy to use and does not require large expenses. It's called "Candle for a Loved One." To do this, buy a white candle in the temple, anoint it with any aromatic oil, while thinking about your spouse. On paper, write your wish: “I want my husband to be jealous and afraid of losing me.” Place a candle in a candlestick on a scribbled piece of paper.
Looking at the flame, you replay your dream in your head and imagine how it comes true. Whisper the appropriate words. What kind of phrases these will be - you decide for yourself. The main thing is that they are sincere, heartfelt and come from the heart. Then you burn a piece of paper with a wish over the candle, and scatter the ashes in the wind. This is one of the strategy options - how to make a husband afraid of losing his wife. The conspiracy can be carried out for another purpose, only different candles are used for this: yellow - to calm jealousy, red - to evoke love, blue - to get rid of problems, green - to gain well-being.
If cheating happens: what advice should you definitely not follow?
One piece of advice that we believe is very dangerous on the Internet applies to wives whose husbands have taken a woman on the side.
“Good people” advise such ladies to lure their husband home at any cost, using the methods of their rival, namely: to increase their helpfulness towards the man in everyday life and in bed. The result of such a strategy is often sad and even tragic: a man lives comfortably in two families, has children on the side, and at the same time, the level of tension and expectations of his legal wife constantly increases. The result is an inevitable breakdown and, in some cases, a psychiatric hospital with a diagnosis of schizophrenia.
- Is it possible to forgive betrayal? - You can, but why? When they love, they take care of it, they are afraid of losing it. Once they cheat, it means they don’t love you anymore - if they are not afraid of losing. Then why forgive and stay with the person who abandoned you? Rinat Valiullin. Every silence has its own hysteria
In a situation of male infidelity, no matter how painful and painful it may be, you should stop marital communication and move away. A man must understand that such actions will not take place without consequences. Only in this case can a woman count on respect and correction of the current situation.
We encourage readers to share their experience of maintaining warm family relationships between spouses in the comments to this material.
Mozhaeva Taisiya · 07 Oct, 2021
A man who is afraid of losing you
In general, are there really men who are afraid of losing their women?
Photo by Trung Nguyen from Pexels
Someone will say that there are, and these are just henpecked people who themselves are incapable of anything. Such men are boring, uninteresting, with low self-esteem. They follow you as if tied, and you pull them along with you as long as you have the strength. You figure out what to do, where to go on vacation, when to go to the registry office and give birth to a child.
To keep such a man, you hardly need to worry too much. Perhaps he is afraid of losing you, because then he will have to do everything himself. Or he is not afraid of anything, because he simply cannot foresee the consequences of losses; gets used to a certain life and simply lives day after day, without thinking about how or with whom.
On the other side, there are men so self-confident that they believe that girls will run after them in any situation, just by lifting a finger. Their life is seething, but not necessarily with interesting events. It can seethe with alcohol and Don Juanism. Until a certain point, it will be impossible to make them afraid of losing you - there are too many substitutes around. To believe that this is so, here is one example:
A young man, 30 years old, handsome, athletic, smart, said: “Girls? They are like a bus. One left, the next one will come.” He did not notice the special value of girls; he treated them as mass production.
The woman they're afraid of losing
However, despite this attitude, you can fall deeply in love with such men, and it will not be just falling in love. There are cases of lifelong love that lasts even after separation.
Between alpha males and henpecked men there are normal, handsome, fairly successful men. They work, buy flowers, bring money to the family, make decisions. Having met someone like this, created a family with him or just a partnership, you begin to dream of being with him and worry that one day he will leave.
To keep a self-confident man, just a good man, you can use many ways. But one of them is to make a man afraid of losing you.
