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Let’s immediately agree that the question “How to maintain a man’s interest?” basically implies a manipulative approach.
This is something from the series “I will respond to the message strictly in 20 minutes” or “do not agree to a meeting right away.”
All these techniques will give the desired effect only with superficial communication, but any attempts at manipulation in the long run are doomed to failure.
Sooner or later you will be figured out and any actions just for the sake of maintaining interest will take on completely different colors. Remember - strong relationships are built only on the basis of sincerity. No falsehood.
Yes, before women had no other way to get settled in life other than to choose a husband.
And it was very important for them to behave correctly and please him, just so as not to lose their social status.
But now it's the 21st century. It's time to change your relationship strategy and leave any manipulation in the past.
What is the basis for a man's interest in you?
From time immemorial, any man has been attracted to girls who know how to be satisfied. I call this a special female condition. Alas, not all ladies are in this state all the time. Some people completely discourage men’s interest in them from the very first minutes of their acquaintance. For example, they immediately dictate their demands or sit with a “sour” face.
But most young ladies still know how to make a favorable impression. It's a pity that the effect is not long lasting. After all, after a few months of relationship, a solid Groundhog Day begins.
So that's the main conclusion. Always demonstrate a state of pleasure. It doesn't matter whether you are reading a book or traveling in public transport. In your every phrase, in every action you should read: “I live in abundance.” What other ways are there to whet your partner’s interest?
What should you absolutely not do when seeking reciprocity?
But what you shouldn’t do when trying to win the heart of the man you like is to try to immediately start gradually dragging your things into the young man’s apartment, or supposedly accidentally forget them with him and leave them. This will be subconsciously regarded by the man as an attempt to quickly seize his space and personal territory, and men really don’t like this. When he is ready to get closer, he himself will invite you to leave your toothbrush or something from your clothes with him.
Also, you should not try to constantly teach a man and change him to suit you. If you want to change certain traits in a man (habits, appearance, etc.), then you need to do this very discreetly and obviously not in the first stages of conquest. Otherwise, a man will simply get tired of constantly hearing that he is doing something wrong or that his appearance is not up to the ideal, and he will prefer to find himself another life partner. After all, you will remind him of a school teacher or a strict mother, but not of his dream girl.
You cannot compare this man with your exes out loud: even if you say that he is much better and more reliable, a man hears such conversations completely differently. He doesn’t understand why compare different men at all, and as a result, he doesn’t have the best opinion about you. Therefore, it is better to make such comparisons in your own thoughts.
Be interesting to yourself
A woman who goes out of her way to “bewitch” her gentleman pushes him away. Of course, at first the guy likes his devoted girlfriend, who listens to his monologues for hours. But then such a girl begins to tire.
A lady who is not interested in herself and who does not know how to build personal boundaries is doomed to loneliness. How to keep a man interested in you? Develop yourself, learn something new, find a hobby. Cook exotic dishes, master a foreign language. Anything that makes you happy will do. Thus, you have a hypnotic effect on a man. .
The science! Well, or almost... __8230
Experiments. The man is curious about your cat - don’t feed him bread, but let him try something new. Especially in sex. Of course, if your chosen one has an impressive six-pack, then offering him something that requires great flexibility and dexterity is not a good idea.
And even more so, if he offers to try something (within reason, of course), then look at the situation from the position of “why not,” and not “ugh, I won’t do that!” After all, some things cannot be appreciated until you try them yourself.
By the limits of reason, by the way, you can understand something else, but for simplicity of terminology we will limit ourselves to the following list: vaginal, oral, anal sex, foot fetish, rimming, role reversal, a little exhibitionism, light dominance and submission, a little basic bondage and simple role-playing games. I leave more interesting entertainment like BDSM practices, “golden showers” and “brown sunsets”, group orgies, swinger meetings, and the concept of “slut-wife” to your own understanding, since this is, in the generally accepted understanding, somewhat “too much”.
Develop self-confidence
A woman with high self-esteem basks in male attention. A worthy man will never pay attention to a uptight young lady who does not love herself. If his goal is a long-term union, naturally. Alas, most insecure women increasingly find themselves drawn into toxic, dependent relationships.
Such girls do not think about how to warm up a man’s interest in themselves. They are more concerned about having him always around. It doesn’t matter what ways to achieve this: hysterics or manipulation.
How to captivate a man and keep his interest for a long time?
I listen to women and understand how difficult it is for them and men sometimes. Women simply don’t know where to go from the advances of men they don’t like at all. And then another situation arises when it is difficult to captivate the man you like. He doesn’t react to a woman and that’s it.
Then the opposite question arises: how to stir it up? In this article I will talk more about how to captivate a man for the first time, however, for those couples who have already lived together for many years, I think it will be interesting to read this article.
You can probably say that seducing a man is as easy as shelling pears, because the psychology of men in relationships with women is simple and primitive. You just need to wear a tight-fitting red dress above the knees with a large cutout on the chest, put on good makeup and walk around in such an outfit for a while in front of a man, “accidentally” touching him.
To some extent, I agree with you, this method is effective. For some men, this is more than enough. But whose attention can you attract with this outfit? What associations will you evoke? If we are talking about teenagers, young men (for example, after the army), then definitely, you will attract more than enough attention. Well, or about manipulators and home-grown Don Juanas, but about this category of men, read the article “How to recognize a male manipulator and what to do .
If we are talking about mature men, about those men with whom you can build a long-term relationship and get married, then this is not that it is not enough - it can generally lead in the other direction. It is a myth that long legs and big breasts are all that is needed to attract a man's attention and seduce a man. Not all.
If everything were so simple and unambiguous, then the article should not be called “How to captivate a man”
, but for example “How to choose a dress in order to seduce a man.”
So, what is the most important set of things that a man takes into account in order to follow a woman and start courting her? I wrote about this in great detail in my new book “23 Mistakes with Men. Mistakes on first dates" and in the book "Psychology of Men in Love" . But in this article I will still try to cover in some detail the topic of how to captivate a man.
The first and most powerful criterion for a man to court a woman is whether the man himself feels that he can please a woman or not?
The first rule is this: if a man feels that he can please and seduce a woman, then he will court and pursue her; if he does not feel it, then he will not.
Accordingly, and vice versa, if a woman wants a man to look after her, then she must behave in such a way that the man understands that he will not be “sent away.”
How to behave in such a way that a man feels that he has at least a minimal chance of success with a woman? I have already written about this many times, but I will repeat it again.
First, this is coquetry . If you want to seduce or captivate a man, then flirt with him.
For more information about what coquetry is and how to flirt with men, read the article “What is coquetry?
Be flirtatious and men will be at your feet!”
Second, compliment the man . But compliments should not be flattery just to attract a man's attention. Tell him what you really like about him, and most importantly, what is important to the man himself . If he plays sports, tell him that he has a great figure and that at his age it’s rare for anyone to look like that.
If he drives well, tell him that you like the way he drives. Etc. I think the general principle is clear.
Third. Hear about his exploits . But don't listen with irony or boredom. Try to also understand what is important for a man in these stories and admire his heroism.
If he has reinvented the wheel, then admire the new part that he attached to the frame or steering wheel. Find out how he came up with this “brilliant idea.”
If he installed a door at his friend’s dacha, and even though the house itself is already falling apart, but now he tells everyone he meets about the door, ask where he learned this. Tell him that it must be difficult to install a door alone, but he managed it. Etc.
The rule always works. Even if it seems that it does not work, these are just errors in the perception of men and women. A man may incorrectly believe that he has chances, although he does not have them. It may be the other way around, the man will consider that he has no chance, although there are more than enough.
The second rule is this. If a man immediately achieves everything from a woman, then interest in her is largely lost .
By the phrase “achieves everything,” I don’t just mean sex. Most likely, this is not even the main thing, although it is quite important. Read about this in more detail “19 mistakes with men. How to make him love and respect you .
What I mean by “get it all” is get all the attention, all the admiration, all the time, all the love of a woman, etc.
More than once I have compared the thinking of men with the thinking of a hunter or thinking during a game. This is the main type of thinking of a man. If the game (hunt) is over and cannot be continued, then interest in it is gradually lost. If the game can continue, then interest in it can remain until the end of life.
Let us remember the basic postulates of the game, in which interest remains. First, in the game a man wins more often, but sometimes he loses. This is an axiom of the game, no matter whether it is communicating with a woman or working.
What follows from this? How can you use this feature of men in such a way as to captivate and retain them?
The answer is already almost obvious. In your relationship, the man should win most of the time, but not always . Every now and then a man has to lose.
So, for the most part, support the man’s initiative and actions.
But sometimes a man needs to refuse, sometimes to disagree with him, sometimes to persist so hard that you cannot be moved. That is, let a man lose sometimes. This is quite important. And this is especially important in order to keep a man in love for a long time. Restrain your activity and initiative yourself, read “How to keep a man. Or the initiative is punishable .
A woman who always agrees, is always in love, is always available, always admires a man will inevitably lose the man's interest. And this does not happen because men are bad, but this is a manifestation of the laws of nature in action.
That’s why you shouldn’t agree to everything, not always be accessible and not always admire a man.
Be sure to watch the video
On the other hand, if a man always loses in a relationship with a woman, then interest in the game (the woman) is lost with the same pattern as in the first case. What is losing? This is when a woman is always right, always wins in arguments, a woman always has the last opinion in household and non-household matters, this is when no matter what a man does, it is always bad, etc.
Therefore, you don’t need to make your man lose too often in your relationship. Otherwise, gradually the man’s interest in the woman is also lost. In the best case, a man will find another safe game (computer, work, fishing) where he will receive satisfaction, then the relationship can survive. But in any case, it will be impossible to keep a man for a long time and keep his love and interest in a woman.
So, don’t always agree with a man, don’t always be available, don’t always be in love (outwardly), don’t always admire a man and he won’t lose interest in you.
And on the other hand, don’t always defeat a man in arguments, don’t always insist on your own in household matters, don’t always redo what a man did, even if he didn’t do it the way you think is right.
Distance, time.
All other things being equal, it is several times easier to captivate and seduce a man with whom you constantly or periodically communicate and with whom you spend some time together. Than someone with whom you don’t communicate and are practically never together. This seems obvious.
What conclusion follows from this rule? If you have the opportunity and time, then at first it is not at all necessary to even flirt and flirt with a man. It is enough to start communicating with him more and closer.
This communication does not even have to be romantic or consist of positive emotions at all. Even a small conflict or argument (but not hysteria) is better than no communication. (Once again, I advise you to watch the beginning of the movie “Girls,” where it was the conflict that marked the beginning of the relationship.) Some aggressiveness of a man at the beginning of a relationship can even serve as one of the signs that a man likes you. (An analogue of boys pulling the pigtails of girls they like)
However, too close a distance is not the best. Colleagues sitting at adjacent tables are, of course, better than a man and a woman in different cities, but far from the best option.
So, come up with or use an existing excuse and start communicating closer (but not too close) with the man you like. Just don’t show excessive initiative in this matter; I have already written more than once that men themselves like to take the initiative and win the woman they like.
Competition between men and women.
In total, competition between men for women. No matter what they say, this technique works, but it is too often misunderstood. Therefore, first read this paragraph carefully three times before trying to apply it. When using this technique, women often make many mistakes and often make things worse. In summary, a description of the reception.
Organize so that men compete for you and interest in you can increase significantly.
Men seem smart and reasonable, but when they get together, they often behave like a herd of sheep. This usually manifests itself in the fact that if one of the men who enjoys authority among a given herd, some kind of thing (game) appears, or he at least begins to achieve something or do something, then everyone else does the same they want the same “thing” or they also begin to achieve something and do something.
Accordingly, this can be used somehow. A classic example of the use of this technique is the film “The Most Charming and Attractive.” None of the men paid attention to the main character of the film. However, when, on the advice of her friend, a well-dressed man (her friend’s husband), who had a new “Six”, began to look after her a little, which in modern times is similar to some 7 model of WWII (that is, to be looked after by an authoritative monkey), then they began to look after her pay attention to all the men from her department and neighboring ones as well.
That is, in principle, the technique works, but its use in practice is not so simple and is fraught with errors.
The first and most serious mistake, which I already wrote about in the article “How to keep a man in good shape?” How to make a man jealous?
- this is a woman’s flirting with other men when she already has a regular partner and in this way she tries to arouse his jealousy. This is a very serious mistake. Note that even in the film “The Most Charming and Attractive” the main character did not flirt with the authoritative “male”, but it was he who tried to court her, and according to her, not very successfully.
The second common mistake may be in defining an “authoritative” man. An authoritative man for one group may not be so for another group. Money, power and outwardly confident behavior are universal tools, but are not always important for some group of men. But it is not so easy for a woman to determine on her own.
The third mistake is that you cannot focus on a man’s interest, which he shows in competitions with other men. After all, when the competition is over, interest in a woman may decrease significantly. You need to understand this.
If I haven’t scared you too much yet, then you can use this technique.
Carefree.
It’s not for nothing that there is such a thing as a “resort romance.” What is a “holiday romance”? This is the time when a man is forced to get closer to other women, and most importantly, he has forgotten about his worries for a while.
You can even derive a law that might look something like this: “A man’s attraction to women (as well as vice versa) is directly proportional to his carelessness.”
What is the benefit of this rule? A man who has a lot of big worries in life is not predisposed to courting women, even if he likes the woman and there are conditions for further development of the relationship.
If, for example, a man unexpectedly loses his job, business, apartment (is under a real threat of loss) or at least simply chronically fails to fulfill some plan at work, he chronically lacks money, is seriously ill, experiences betrayal by friends, etc. .d., then it’s better not to approach him.
A woman’s advances, which in another situation he would gladly support, will only irritate him. Therefore, it is better not to approach such a man until he has solved his problems. You can listen to his problems and sympathize with him, and that's enough.
I'm not talking about married men. No matter what they write or say, if everything is normal in the family, a married man will never create problems for himself.
And, accordingly, vice versa. Look for those moments in a man (or men in general) who are relatively successful in handling their affairs, no matter how insignificant they are. And avoid men who have problems they can't handle.
Of course, man differs from man. For some, a temperature drop of 3 degrees outside can cause universal worries, while for others, loss of work, family, etc. Causes only minor stress.
Perhaps that's enough for today. Of course, I have hardly mentioned many other quite important factors. However, I wrote separate articles about many of them on the “Sunny Hands” website and will not repeat the content.
Article protected by copyright and related rights. When using or reprinting material, an active link to the women's website sun-hands.ru is required! Sincerely, Rashid Kirranov.
Be hard to get
You know that a man is a hunter. How to behave so as not to become an easy prey? Play one simple game: move closer and move away. For example, you devoted the entire weekend to your beloved. So for the next few days, “escape” from your chosen one, devote time to yourself.
But you shouldn’t go too far either. Ignoring is unacceptable. Your partner should feel your support and care. At the same time, you calmly go about your business. You don’t need to understand psychology to understand how to keep a man interested in you. Just give him the opportunity to continually get to know you over and over again.
Why do they forget us?
The man is a hunter and conqueror. He exhibits these qualities at work, in business and in his personal life. Seeing a pretty girl, a man wants to take possession of her. You are very familiar with this period in a relationship - courtship, flowers, gifts. He conquers you in every possible way.
And here you are in his arms, in his bed, mission accomplished. But does a lion sit all his life near the caught prey? No, he eats the most delicious things and continues to hunt. Thousands of girls feel used, but only a few understand that they themselves are to blame for what happened.
Why would a man stay with a woman who is of no interest to him? Same sex, same compliments, same leisure time. Wouldn't you be tired of such a life yourself? In men, this feeling is multiplied by 2-3 times thanks to the instincts of a hunter, which is why they run towards something new and unknown.
Still think that a gorgeous beauty and sex goddess can’t get boring? Conduct an experiment for yourself and see otherwise. Prepare your favorite dish every day, for example for lunch. By the end of the week, even tiger prawns or the freshest trout will make you sick. Everything in this world tends to become boring, even the best, tasty and high-quality.
Thank him
Men really value women's empathy. Representatives of the stronger sex are somewhat deprived of this quality. It just so happens that beautiful girls are empathetic by nature.
This means that they can always inspire their loved one with sweet speeches and compliments. How else to keep a man's interest? I always encourage wives to thank their husbands. Guys really love with their ears, remember that.
How to behave with the man you like: general advice
There are methods to help arouse a man's interest. Here are some of them:
- To interest a man in a serious relationship, you must try to give him what he needs. Does he appreciate business girls? Show that you know how to cook and are interested in interior design techniques. Does he like to talk? Demonstrate your reading and love for “smart” cinema. But you should not play a role that is not typical for you: sooner or later the deception will be exposed.
- To interest the man you like, show that you have a lot in common with him. Look for common ground: this helps to quickly establish contact and find topics for conversation. Ask what books and films he likes, what his hobbies are, how he prefers to spend his free time.
- Listen, don't just talk. If you don’t know how to communicate with a man in order to interest him, and you want to become a good conversationalist in his eyes, learn to listen and hear what he says. Of course, you want to tell everything about yourself, but you shouldn’t do this. Talkativeness can scare off your interlocutor.
Psychologists believe that many guys are looking for a future life partner, first of all, for a person who is able to listen to them!
Add a lot of flirting
Don’t think that only young girls of marriageable age need the ability to flirt. Flirting is your lifeline at all times. Even if you are already babysitting your grandchildren. And I'm not joking at all.
The ability to flirt strengthens your marriage. I have mentioned more than once how to maintain a man’s interest in a long-term relationship. For example, I give detailed information in a large online course “Secrets of Women’s Happiness”, organized by Pavel Rakov’s Training Center. You will receive ready-made instructions on how to interact with the opposite sex and support from a supervisor during your training.
Sexuality 3
It seems to me that you are already well aware of the preferences of your lover. Well, then the choice of the type of clothing will be yours.
However, here, too, you can test the waters for novelty. Some men lose their heads over a lady in lace, some lose their heads if a woman is dressed in simple, no-frills lingerie, some find excitement in dresses and skirts that slide so invitingly over their partner’s legs, and a few go crazy and... from a man's suit on a woman's body.
I'll give you a little advice - watch a couple of dozen porn videos. You don’t need to watch all the debauchery, but looking at how the actresses are dressed is a very useful and informative thing, since they work with professionals who know a lot about attracting male attention.
Don't try to change it
Guys love girls who respect their personal space and accept flaws. Any attempts to “re-educate” a healthy man are perceived extremely negatively. How to maintain a man's interest in a feminine way?
Be on your spouse's side.
Let him know that you are always there for him. Even if he stumbled. Don't make a fuss at any opportunity. Express your dissatisfaction gently and confidently. You will find ready-made techniques in the “Happily Married” section. In the meantime, let's discuss in the comments. Do you have any effective ways to keep a man interested in you?
Evolutionary methodology i
A man, whether he is a top manager of a state corporation or a cleaner from a neighboring yard, by nature remains a hunter. Yes, yes, this is such a gender role, from which there is no escape. And you, be that as it may, always remain his prey. Therefore, the easiest way is to periodically “run away”.
That is, let’s say, create the illusion of some distance from him, season the whole thing with a small pinch of his jealousy, give him a chance to conquer himself again. The only thing is, don’t go too far, otherwise, instead of the hunter’s gaze burning with excitement, you will see a surprised look of bewilderment, which can easily go out and cool down.
If you are not very confident in your ability to play a subtle game of prey, then it is better not to take it. And avoid self-deception when you begin to evaluate your strengths - because a mistake will have a diametrically opposite result.
How to communicate on the first date to attract even more interest
Getting a man interested on a first date is not an easy task. After all, they say that the first impression cannot be made a second time in order to correct the mistakes made.
Adhere to the principle: listen and ask more questions than talk. Give your interlocutor the opportunity to show his best qualities and talk about himself.
People always experience unconscious sympathy for those who are interested in their lives.
Call the guy by name more often. Dale Carnegie also wrote that there is no more pleasant sound for a person than his name.
Don't be shy to give compliments. Men love them just as much as women. Praise your interlocutor for career achievements, a university diploma, a well-chosen suit, or for choosing a great place for your meeting. His sympathy is guaranteed.
Psychological techniques
To attract a guy's love interest, you can use simple psychological techniques:
- Cause slight jealousy. Show that you are of interest to other men too! This turns on the “ownership instinct” and makes the guy work even harder to win your heart. True, it is important not to overdo it, otherwise there is a risk of provoking a conflict.
- Make physical contact. Hug him when you meet him, put your hand on his shoulder or back, casually touch his palm with your palm. All this will help to win over a man and awaken his sexual interest.
- Sometimes being unavailable. There is no need to instantly respond to messages on a social network and agree to go on a date at any time upon the first invitation. If you make a man worry a little, he will appreciate you and look forward to meeting you even more.
How to ignore and does it always work
It is believed that the best way to win a man's heart is to learn to ignore him from time to time. Moreover, this must be done in a special way. How to ignore a man in order to interest him even more and make him fall in love with you?
The most important thing in the art of ignoring is a sense of proportion.
If you don’t answer messages or pick up the phone for weeks, the guy will simply decide that you left him or found someone else. But it’s worth showing patience for a couple of hours from time to time. Let him see that you are online, but don't respond to him. This will cause slight jealousy, which was already mentioned above. In addition, the man will understand that you are not waiting for his messages all day long. Natural “hunters” are not interested in prey that is too easy.
Other examples from the psychology of communication
Nonverbal communication specialists know how to behave with a man in order to interest him. They recommend doing the following:
- Copy his poses. This must be done carefully so that the interlocutor does not think that he is being imitated. “Posture reflection” is a method that makes it possible to please a person and inspire trust in him.
- Emphasize your femininity. Playing with a shoe, touching your own collarbones and wrists - all this has a flawless effect on men.
- To hint that a person is physically pleasant. To show interest, you need to touch a man as often as possible, hug him, take his hand. Such gestures show that the interlocutor seems sexy to the girl and she enjoys making physical contact with him.
