If such a person is a distant relative, friend or neighbor, you can simply stop communicating with him. But avoiding communication with him at work can be quite difficult.
What to do in this case: allow a toxic colleague to poison your life with impunity, refuse to communicate with him and thereby create a conflict situation in the team, or take extreme measures and quit?
Anna Serebryannaya, a psychologist and cognitive behavioral therapist at the Alvian Center for Psychosomatic Medicine and Psychotherapy in Moscow, will help solve this problem .
Toxic people are always negative, like to gossip, criticize and control others. Such people never doubt that they are right, therefore they do not accept any criticism. They are able to play the victim, and when the opportunity arises, they can lie. As a rule, toxic people are impolite, tactless, and often lose control of themselves.
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Toxic people tend to ignite intense emotions and passions around themselves, they seek to manipulate others and use others to satisfy their needs. They are characterized by jealousy, envy, belittling the merits and merits of other people, as well as constant complaints about their “hard lot.” In fact, such people themselves often suffer greatly from some psychological difficulties, but at the same time they flatly refuse to admit their problems and solve them with the help of qualified specialists.
Working next to a toxic colleague is difficult and unpleasant. Such a person always tries to involve others in his problems, so colleagues unwittingly become part of the mechanism that promotes the behavior of a toxic person. In order to successfully coexist next to a manipulative colleague, you need to understand and, if possible, control your contribution to his behavior. To do this, you need to follow several rules.
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Rule No. 1: boundaries, boundaries and more boundaries
The most important and best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to set your own boundaries and protect them. This will be difficult because for a toxic person, regardless of the nature of his behavior (it can be aggressive or whiny), the boundaries of others are unacceptable and very annoying. A toxic colleague will certainly try to invade your personal space, and, most likely, he will do this repeatedly and in a rude manner. But to successfully coexist and communicate with a problematic colleague, you need to clearly define these boundaries.
The concept of “boundaries” refers not only to emotional boundaries (polite treatment and respect for the feelings of others), but also physical boundaries, since toxic people often encroach on the time, health and physical strength of others. So-called “I statements” can help with this: for example, “When you say ..., I think/feel ..., so I won’t do anymore ....” In other cases, you need to learn to give such a colleague a tough rebuff and simply say a firm no.
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Specifics of business etiquette
Each profession and job has its own unique set of rules and requirements for communication between colleagues and with clients. Thus, for kindergarten teachers, one of the fundamental points is the ability to establish contact with children’s parents. Many government organizations (schools, clinics, libraries, etc.) often develop a special code of professional ethics.
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Such a code lists all the main points relating to communication between colleagues, teachers, students, patients, administration, and also puts forward requirements for the appearance, personal characteristics of the employee, and his moral character. Failure to comply with these standards indicates that the employee is not suitable for the position held.
A set of such rules may vary depending on the place of work. The requirements for the behavior and communication of a nurse in the clinic and in the intensive care unit differ. In the latter case, severe demands are placed on the employee’s personality, because she works with people in extremely difficult health conditions, and a disrespectful, callous attitude towards the patient can cost him his life.
Rule #2: Stay above it
Toxic people are great at getting under the skin of others, but if you take a closer look at them and listen to what they say, you can understand that their logic and their behavior are actually irrational. By getting emotionally involved with a toxic colleague, you are ruining your chances of winning. But if you feel above it, both emotionally and mentally, you can prevail. When forced to communicate with a toxic colleague, try to take an observant position, as if you were writing a detective story about this person, but do not get involved in arguments or showdowns in which he is trying to drag you into.
How to gain the respect of your colleagues
1. Be yourself, don't try to pretend to be someone else.
2. Show interest in other people.
3. Let us share a moment of glory with you.
4. Dress and groom yourself appropriately for the position you want to occupy.
5. Before speaking, pause and give your thoughts time to formulate.
6. Try to “speak with your diaphragm” - this way your speech sounds smoother and your voice doesn’t break.
Rule #3: Be aware of and accept your emotions
Toxic people often play on a certain combination of feelings: first they cause a storm of unpleasant emotions in people (for example, anger or fear), and then, before the person has time to come to his senses, they blame or ridicule him for these feelings and thereby cause a new wave of emotions, now there is shame and guilt. Remember that it is impossible to make a person ashamed of something that he himself is not actually ashamed of. Therefore, recognize and accept the emotions that a toxic colleague evokes in you - such emotions are absolutely normal, and you have every right to experience them. In this case, you will not only be able to get out of the vicious circle described above, but you will also be able to more easily maintain your distance from a toxic colleague.
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Ethics of business communication in the workforce “horizontally”
The concept of a work collective. Factors that determine the specifics of relationships in a team. Models of business communication ethics
A work collective is a community of people united by joint activities, unity of goals, mutual responsibility, and partnership relations. This community is characterized by constant communication and interaction of its members with each other, a sense of belonging to a given group, the presence of common interests and motives, as well as common traditions. At the same time, it has a number of features characteristic of the organization:
• division of functions between employees, enshrined in rules or instructions;
• official hierarchy, chain of command;
• loyalty of each employee to his team;
• system of positive and negative sanctions.
Team structure, i.e. the actually existing set of relationships between group members in the process of joint activity and communication exists at two levels - formal and informal.
Formal structure is associated with the job statuses of group members.
The informal structure is formed on the basis of relationships determined by the moral and psychological qualities of team members. The formation of an informal structure is determined by the presence of both objective and subjective factors: the possibility of contacts between group members due to the work schedule, the optimal gender and age composition of the group, the personality of the leader, and the individual characteristics of employees.
Joint activities in a work collective can be carried out for different purposes and on different basis.
Interaction involves close coordination between performers at all stages of organizational and production activities in terms of time, quantitative and qualitative indicators, ensuring the achievement of set goals.
Collaboration is a form of coordinating the efforts of performers based on a conscious desire to mutually help each other to best complete a task. Characteristic signs of cooperation are the manifestations of closer mutual business relationships between people, complementing official duties with a sense of common informal responsibility for the assigned work and satisfaction with the process of joint activity itself.
Rivalry is a manifestation of the increased interest of each participant in achieving their own maximum success against the backdrop of joint activities. When done well, such competition takes the form of public competition with its inherent elements of open discussion of the process and results of activities. In the absence of mutual interest, rivalry takes the form of competition, characterized by a feeling of jealous, envious, and sometimes unkind attitude towards the successes of the other party and the desire to surpass the results achieved by it by any means.
Complicity is characterized by the obligatory presence of independent private interest among all persons involved in solving a specific goal.
Models of business communication ethics
Traditional in the ethics of business communication is a pragmatist model , which is based on calculation and focuses on profit. It is characterized by a denial of the need for ethics and morality in business relations, although the rationale and argumentation on this issue could be different.
Some representatives of the business community regard the role of ethics as destructive, because... it supposedly threatens the organizational harmony of production and its economic efficiency, since it is moral nuances that lead to confrontation, mutual reproaches and accusations, and conversations about morality lead away from solving business problems themselves and reduce the effectiveness of managerial flexibility.
The most “advanced” representatives of business pragmatism recognize the role of corporate ethics, but view it as a tool for increasing the efficiency and success of an enterprise. But ethical behavior of employees is not a goal here, but a means to achieve success. At the same time, ethics must pass a “success test”, and if it does not pass the test, it can be abandoned.
Currently, the so-called metracorporate model - a new model of business ethics in which the corporation (association, firm, enterprise) is considered as the “mother” (“metra”) social institution. The role of ethics is seen here not only in maximizing profits and optimizing production, but also in the fact that the corporation carefully, “motherly” regulates this activity, directing, stimulating or limiting it, taking into account its own interests and the interests of other people. The regulatory function of the new ethics of business relations manifests itself in the form of moral responsibility, the content of which is determined by the specifics of a particular industry. They see their main moral duty in serving society, which ultimately manifests itself in their participation in social, cultural, and charitable projects. From the standpoint of corporate ethics, moral duty requires serving:
— clients, satisfying their requests and wishes, taking care of improving the quality of service;
- own employees, respecting their interests, striving to increase their income, promoting the humanization of their work, taking care of preserving jobs;
— to society, ensuring the viability of the environment, using the funds received for the benefit of society, introducing new management methods, promoting technical progress.
Moral service concerns everyone. Everyone in their place is called to serve: society, colleagues, clients, patients, investors, etc. Management is also required to “serve” their subordinates:
— attention to the personal characteristics, point of view, needs, interests, mood of the employee;
- providing him with the opportunity to freely discover and realize his own individuality;
— protecting him from unjustified interference from outside: protection of privacy, personal data;
— guarantee of social and professional rights of the individual;
— absence of discrimination and respect for equality of relations on national, age, gender and other grounds;
- fair wages - equal remuneration for equal work;
— ensuring and recognizing the scope of personal responsibility of the employee;
— respect and appreciation of professionalism when performing their work;
— involvement of employees in the management of the institution.
Only compliance with the “service” requirements of the corporate model meets the requirements of modern business ethics, creating the necessary conditions for the employee’s positive motivation to work.
Positive motivation to work is ensured, first of all, by a person’s satisfaction with his work, which, in turn, is a necessary condition for success. What brings a person satisfaction in the process of work?
- interesting, exciting work;
— working with colleagues who respect you;
— approval and stimulation of your good work;
- opportunity for self-improvement;
— communication with people who share your ideas about improving work;
— the ability to act independently, and not just follow orders;
- the opportunity to see the results of your work;
- work under the guidance of worthy, qualified, respected people;
- work that requires effort;
- access to information related to your work and the organization as a whole.
These terms and conditions
firstly, they are aimed at implementing the humanistic idea of personal self-expression, based on the fact that a person is able to set tasks for himself, find ways to solve them and control himself;
secondly, they all contribute to the achievement of success, which is the main guideline, goal and moral value of business relations.
Ethics of business communication in the workforce “horizontally”
In the process of business communication, relationships of various kinds can develop - official, official, friendly, comradely, friendly. Taking them into account and distinguishing them is of great importance. Thus, friendly relations arise either on the basis of personal sympathy, or in the presence of common interests, and, as a rule, are supported by personal contacts. Partnerships develop in the process of joint activities on the basis of unity of goals and interests, common views, they are distinguished by constancy and the affection of people for each other. Unlike the first two types of relationships, official (formal) relationships arise only in the process of performing official duties. When it comes to relationships in an institution, the following should be kept in mind: what is completely acceptable in relation to close people is not always acceptable and permissible in official relations; what is commendable from the point of view of friendly relations is often unlawful from the standpoint of professional ethics .
Communication “horizontally” should be focused on establishing an optimal (positive) moral and psychological climate in the team. To do this, the team must have certain qualities:
— coherence
and
cohesion,
which provide mutual assistance, support, the opportunity to rely on colleagues not only in business, but also in personal problems;
— goodwill,
in an atmosphere in which only a teacher can fully express himself both as a person and as a professional;
— sensitivity
and
tactfulness,
which limit intrusive, tactless interference in the personal life of an employee;
— tolerance for
characteristics and shortcomings of colleagues, ensuring their individuality.
These qualities of a team can only be formed on the basis of a moral and psychological community of people, which presupposes:
— the presence of group interests and needs,
uniting members of the workforce not only during work hours, but also in an informal setting;
— orientation towards shared values
– universal, civil, cultural and others, which helps prevent serious conflicts and disagreements;
— similarity of opinions in assessments
professional problems, as well as issues that go beyond professional interests (politics, culture, fashion);
— presence of “we are feelings”
, forming pride in belonging to the profession, in its organization; desire to maintain their prestige.
In addition to the listed qualities of the team, a number of other circumstances are of great importance for the well-being and performance of people.
1. Correspondence of the position and official duties of the employee to the “role” to which they are predisposed by the organization of their thinking and inclinations.
In teams, the following “roles” are conventionally distinguished:
— “idea generators” - specialists with unconventional thinking, capable of creativity, predisposed to searching and creating something new;
— “performers” - teachers with a reproductive mindset and performing inclinations, conscientious, often talented “translators” who perfectly implement and implement proven methods;
- “experts” - people predisposed to forecasting and foresight, capable of calculating in advance and seeing how the proposed idea will “work”, what consequences this or that technique will entail;
- “critics” - people with a special, critical mindset, noticing all the shortcomings and bottlenecks, often incapable of productive activity, but identifying those negative aspects that are not noticed by others; usually cause hostility from others and management;
— “the jester” is an easy-going, non-offensive, sociable person who can lift the mood in a team or defuse a difficult conflict situation.
This division is conditional, but each person feels “in his place” only when his predisposition and real position coincide. Not being implemented or being misinterpreted, his “role” can become the cause of vague dissatisfaction, irritability, envy, which leads to a state of psychological discomfort and conflict situations in the team.
2. The presence of special layers
workers who differ in their type of behavior and way of interacting with others:
— “collectivists” are sociable, gravitate towards joint actions, support social initiatives, and quickly get involved in common events. At the same time, they are very sensitive to public assessment and need constant encouragement, which stimulates their further activity;
- “individualists” - they tend to act independently, are often withdrawn and uncommunicative, but this does not always indicate their arrogance, but rather shyness or lack of self-confidence;
- “pretensionists” - predisposed to active participation in the life and affairs of the team, but have increased vanity (pretensions), are touchy, and strive to constantly be in the center of attention. If they were underestimated or were not offered work worthy of them, then they easily become dissatisfied, criticizing management and its decisions, acting as the epicenter of conflict situations;
- “imitators” – are characterized by weak independent thinking and lack of initiative. They adapt to any conditions and always agree with the opinion of the majority. They are disciplined, avoid involvement in conflicts, are “comfortable” in management, and therefore enjoy the favor of management. However, behind their agreement there is often indifference, selfishness, concern only for their own interests;
- “passive” - good-natured, friendly, efficient. They often have good impulses and intentions, a desire to be among the active ones, but they do not know how to take initiative, they are embarrassed to loudly declare themselves - their volitional mechanism does not work;
- “isolated” - people who, by their actions or statements (disregard for the work and life of the team, the desire to shift everything onto the shoulders of others, rudeness, selfishness, etc.) have alienated most of their colleagues.
The listed “layers” are present in almost every team, however, with “adjustments” for the specifics of the professional tasks solved by employees.
3. The presence of compatibility or incompatibility between team members who differ in views, beliefs, life experiences, needs, interests. Compatibility is ensured by the optimal combination of personal qualities of individual people: their temperaments, views, characters, cultures. People can be compatible, both with the same and with different, but successfully complementing each other qualities. Incompatibility is caused by non-synchrony of mental reactions, differences in attention, thinking, and values. Incompatibility makes it difficult and sometimes impossible for people to work together and live together. Compatibility and incompatibility are manifested through the sympathy and antipathy of people towards each other. They actually determine the presence of microgroups, companies and circles, between which, in turn, quite complex relationships can develop.
4. Differences in professional orientations and interests, which depend on age, life experience, temperament, views, beliefs, level of culture and education. Some employees graduated from universities, others from teacher training colleges, some live with high spiritual needs, others are most concerned with everyday problems. Teachers also differ in their personal worldviews. In the context of global politicization of society, different, and even diametrically opposed, political and ideological commitments and sympathies are clearly visible. The complexity of relationships in the work collective is largely determined by the fact that all these differences are enhanced by psychological differences (sanguine people, melancholic people, phlegmatic people, choleric people, etc.).
In the teaching staff, the features of the professional psychology of the teacher are of great importance, which, as subjective factors, determine specific
moments in the behavior and relationships of teachers.
1. TO
the aching individualism of pedagogical work. Indeed, the main work of every teacher occurs one on one with students. And gradually the illusion arises that thanks to his efforts, children become smarter, more knowledgeable, and more developed. The teacher “forgets” that at the same time, in the same direction, his colleagues influence them and that the result obtained is the result of the combined efforts of all teachers. And then he stops coordinating his demands and actions with the demands of his colleagues and begins to act according to the principle “I go out alone on the road.” This may manifest itself, for example, in the teacher’s excessive demands. It is known that demandingness manifests itself, in particular, in the amount of homework. However, few teachers, when giving homework, think about what other subjects the students will have that day, how many other teachers have assigned them. And thus he acts inappropriately towards his colleague.
2. ABOUT
intense need for authority. For a teacher, “seeking authority” is a professional necessity, because a teacher without authority simply “will not be trusted.” However, the need for authority can manifest itself in different ways. For example, in ambition, expressed in an exaggerated sense of self-esteem, in excessive self-confidence - in the infallibility of one’s knowledge, methods, and in the value of one’s pedagogical findings.
3. Categorical and maximalism, categorical judgments and confidence in one’s own infallibility. These “professional traits” even complicate the teacher’s personal life and communication with loved ones. What can we say about relationships in the staff room, where dozens of equally “infallible” and categorical people gather, and then political or harmless everyday debates and remarks turn out to be fraught with serious conflicts that give rise to rejection, and sometimes even hostility, towards each other.
4. Redundant
the suspicion with which he sometimes treats any critical remark addressed to him, seeing in it an attack on his authority. Suspicion goes hand in hand with resentment. And both hinder both the establishment of an optimal moral and psychological climate in the teacher’s room, causing tension in relations between colleagues, and the improvement of professional skills, because they block the teacher’s self-criticism and objectivity in relation to his own mistakes.
5.Difficulties in
self-assessment and objective assessment of teaching work
. For example, some of the teachers, having once found themselves in the “clip” of masters (deservedly or undeservedly), remain there for many years, enjoying fame, honor and authority, while others - “losers” - cannot get out of the list of those who are constantly point out shortcomings or who remains a “young teacher” for a long time.
As a result, there arises a desire to prove not that you are no worse than a master teacher, but that he is no better than you and others, i.e. "debunk" him. Professional ethics requires a teacher, regardless of his personal assessment, to respect the experience and skill of a recognized pedagogical authority, scrupulously study them (and not reject them “out of the gate”), and try to apply them in his own practice. All the more unacceptable are envy and ill will, the desire to belittle the merits of another, prove his inconsistency, or even survive from the team. But these are not the norms of professional, but simply human decency. At the same time, much depends on the behavior of the master teacher himself. Genuine pedagogical culture is incompatible with narcissism and narcissism, arrogance and conceit, which repel colleagues and cause their fair criticism. 6. Features of criticism in the teaching staff. The general norm here should be goodwill and reliance on positive perceptions. Unfortunately, usually when analyzing a lesson after stating “compliance with requirements”, “methodological literacy”, etc. most of the time is devoted to “shortcomings” and “omissions.” At the same time, fellow teachers sometimes forget about the need to spare a person’s vanity and pride. Of course, constructive criticism is necessary to improve skills, but it is better to make comments and criticize in private, in an informal setting, and “in public” try to identify all the positive things and emphasize the slightest achievements. Let the person feel that you have a high opinion of his capabilities, and he will try to justify your opinion, making every effort to do so.
Ensuring an optimal climate in horizontal relationships should be facilitated by compliance with the necessary ethical principles and norms. Their main purpose is to improve relationships between employees. The peculiarity of such norms is that, as a rule, they are not fixed anywhere, but, nevertheless, are present in the consciousness of each member of the group.
Ethical standards of official relations are distinguished by certain specifics.
1) Standards of work ethics facilitate and simplify relationships between team members and serve as a certain guarantee that people can rely on each other. This is explained by the fact that, by prescribing a certain style of behavior and relationships, the norms of professional ethics allow a person to correctly navigate the situation. In contrast to the norms governing the relationships of people in private life, the norms of professional ethics require people occupying one or another position in society or in the profession to behave adequately to this position. A team leader, for example, should not discuss with an outsider the mistakes and weaknesses of his subordinates, just as a subordinate should not talk about the character of his boss outside of his official work.
2) Service ethics covers the entire set of service relationships in which people in the work collective find themselves, starting with the relationship between team members and ending with the relationship between a manager and a subordinate. Moreover, the greater the distance between people occupying different service levels, the greater the power of the principles and norms of service ethics.
3) Compliance with the norms and rules of official conduct contributes to team unity and mobilization of its members to accomplish common tasks and plans. The basis of work ethics is always service to the cause, public interests, and not to the individual. The traditions of the organization, positive moral experience, and the personality of the leader are of great importance here.
Effective relationships within a team “horizontally” can be ensured by observing the following principles and norms of behavior:
1. Self-government and control over one’s own behavior, the formation in oneself of the qualities necessary for the profession, pleasant to others, conducive to personal success and advancement.
2. Coordination of one’s own behavior, temperament, needs, interests, mood with others. It is unacceptable to let yourself go, justifying yourself by saying that you are choleric or have troubles at home.
3. Tolerance for the shortcomings, habits of colleagues, for their views, beliefs, and opinions that irritate you. The basis of such tolerance should be the firm belief that every person has the right to be as he is, and we must accept people exactly as they are - “different” compared to us.
4. The desire for mutual understanding, for which you need to “get out of your own concept to a common coordinate system”, try to understand what motivates the other person.
5. The ability to sympathize and empathize is not even required, but rather expected, desired behavior.
These general principles of “horizontal” relations are specified in norms of behavior, including:
— subordination of momentary personal interests to the strategic goals of the team;
— the ability not to turn business disagreements with colleagues into personal hostility and not to transfer one’s likes and dislikes to work relationships;
— the desire to maintain good relations with colleagues, which should not interfere with business criticism, the ability to defend one’s own point of view with reason;
— the ability to coordinate one’s own point of view with the opinions of colleagues, to conduct a collective search for the most optimal solution to professional problems;
— the ability to show tact in relationships with colleagues, the desire for mutual understanding, sympathy, and empathy.
The mere existence of group norms of behavior does not mean that they will be strictly followed by all members of the group. Norms carry out their regulatory function through the authorization mechanism.
In the process of constant interaction between group members and constant exchange of information, the actual behavior of each person is compared with what is expected by the group. As a result, his actions are given an appropriate assessment, which informs about the quality of behavior. On the part of the group, such an assessment is reflected in a system of positive and negative sanctions. Behavior that corresponds to group norms is positively sanctioned, namely, all forms of approval are used, from methods of material incentives to praise and the simplest forms of encouragement. Such sanctions lead to employees’ compliance with group norms and give them a feeling of confidence and a strong position in the group.
If norms are violated, then deviant behavior causes the application of negative sanctions, the choice of which depends on the importance of the norms and the degree of their violation. Negative sanctions are censure, expression of antipathy, deprivation of respect, punishment up to legal influence and dismissal from the team. However, the system of group norms and sanctions is effective only when a person identifies himself with the group.
Rule #4: Choose your battles wisely
A malicious colleague will constantly provoke you into a quarrel, showdown, or confrontation with other employees. Most often, in such cases, the best strategy will be neutrality: just nod back and smile, but do everything your way. But if you still think that you need to get into an argument or showdown, be sure to take a time out and think carefully about your strategy. This will be your trump card: toxic people rarely think about their words and actions because they are completely at the mercy of their emotional experiences.
Stay away from those who constantly complain
People who are constantly dissatisfied with something carry negativity that quickly infects others. Complainers may not talk too much, but when they do, you wish they didn't talk at all. All they do is whine constantly. The whole world is against them, and everything is always bad (depending on their perspective). They will find something to complain about about almost anything. Keep your distance if you don't want someone to drag you down every day.
Rule #5: Focus on solutions, not problems
If you had to do some work together with such a colleague, try to adjust your behavior. If you start focusing on your problematic relationship with a toxic colleague, trying to understand him or find an approach to him, you will fall into a trap because it is impossible to solve these problems. Instead, focus on solving work problems and think about how to complete the project on which you are forced to collaborate with the least emotional, physical and time losses. Such thoughts will lead you to the desired result much faster.
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Form coalitions
It is convenient to be friends “against”, because the voice of the crowd is always louder than one. But this is hardly appropriate at work. Firstly, by joining a group, a person automatically adopts all its values. And if he stops liking something, it will be very difficult to oppose himself to it.
Secondly, groupings take up a lot of energy that could be directed to fulfilling duties. Thirdly, creating coalitions within a company distracts from what people come to work for: to work and get paid for it, and in an ideal situation, also create something cool. Therefore, it is worth remembering that a bad peace is better than a good quarrel, and it is better to resolve conflict situations openly and immediately.
Rule #6: Be Formal
Attempts to communicate or cooperate with a toxic colleague in a human way always lead to failure, because such a person understands human communication only as beneficial for himself, and not as a polite and mutually beneficial relationship. In a work team, compliance with formalities will help solve this problem. Even if no one else in the office follows these formalities, discover the laws/regulations/decrees/contracts and act on them in a completely formal manner. This approach will create a serious obstacle to the interventions of toxic people.
How to deal with the office boor
1. Don't try to calm him down or apologize.
2. Demand that he behave professionally and show respect.
3. If the scandal does not stop, leave the premises.
4. Show your emotions where no one can see.
5. Return to the unclear issue later.
6. Decide for yourself whether it is worth continuing to communicate with this person.
Rule #7: Ask other employees for support.
If there is a toxic employee in the team, then working with or next to him will inevitably unsettle you from time to time. At such moments, you should not withdraw into yourself and scold yourself for failure, but you should also not use the tactics of a toxic colleague, i.e. gossip or provoke others to emotions. Try to reach out to someone close to you for support, tell them what happened and talk about how you are feeling. This will help you distance yourself from the situation and find a solution that is beneficial for yourself.
How to make deals
1. Define clearly what the subject of the transaction is.
2. Decide what is important to you and what is not.
3. Be able to explain why it's important.
4. Have a Plan B so you don't feel too pressured.
5. Give the other side an opportunity to begin negotiations.
6. Try to come to a decision together.
7. When concluding a deal, make sure that the interests of both parties are respected.
8. Once the size of the deal has been determined, end the discussion.
