How to become a girl if you are a guy? Gender dysphoria

• September 10, 2018
• Mental disorders
• Elena Stepanenko

I am a man, I want to become a woman. How often have you heard such words? Most likely no. The fact is that men hide such desires because they are afraid of condemnation and ridicule. However, you would be surprised how many men experience similar desires. In the article we will talk in detail about this issue, try to understand the causes of the phenomenon, and also understand what to do for a person who finds himself in such a situation.

Transsexualism

When a man wants to become a woman or vice versa, it is called transsexualism. Scientists believe that this is a normal phenomenon in which neither perversion nor homosexual tendencies are manifested.

It is normal for people to sometimes feel like they belong to the opposite sex. And this can indeed happen, but it is extremely rare. At the moment, this phenomenon is not surprising, because almost everyone knows about it. However, it appeared only in 1953. It was then that an American doctor encountered an unusual phenomenon and called it gender identity disorder. He carefully researched this issue and proposed the term itself.

Self-hatred3

Puberty brought even greater suffering. The first erection caused such horror that it cannot be expressed in words. How I wanted to cut off this hated organ, how often I had dreams in which I cut it off with a sharp kitchen knife. In reality everything was different. Numerous psychotherapy sessions, after an unsuccessful suicide attempt, did their job - now I was afraid of harming myself with cutting objects.

But a solution was found - rubber bands. I tightened my penis with a hard black rubber band, hoping that sooner or later it would fall off. Naturally this didn't work. When I couldn’t bear the discomfort, the tourniquet had to be removed. But as soon as blood circulation was restored, the elastic returned to its usual place. Soon the pain became a constant companion. Thus, by switching to physical suffering, it was possible to at least partially drown out mental anguish.

However, it would not be entirely truthful to say that the school years consisted entirely of suffering; there were also happy moments. At one of these moments, after watching a film about Jesus, I decided to devote my life to God: I began attending Sunday school and going to services. I even planned to enter the theological seminary. At one time I even managed to control myself, but then everything returned to normal: hysterics, depression, apathy, aggression towards myself and others.

I am a man, I want to become a woman: where to start

If you experience such desires, then you should not reject them and hide them from yourself. First of all, you need to be honest and frank. If you hide your own emotions and try to suppress them, this will lead to a nervous breakdown or serious psychological problems.

Remember that every person is unique and inimitable, everyone may have special and unusual desires. Perhaps your desires are a banal interest caused by the popularization of this topic in the media. Very often, saddened men naively believe that they really want to change their sex. They are even working on this issue with a psychologist and preparing for surgery. However, they are surprised to find that psychologists do not confirm that they have a systemic desire. Such people simply perceive certain ideas too easily and believe that they are susceptible to them. They do have certain psychological problems, but they are associated with instability and instability. This needs to be worked out separately on your own or in a group, but this problem is in no way related to the issue of gender reassignment.

Therefore, it is very important to understand whether you really want the changes you are striving for. Try to imagine your life after you have surgery. Also think about how certain areas of your business will change and what those changes might mean in the future.

Postoperative stage

After appropriate intervention, the person will receive new documents. In Iran, for example, people are given a new birth certificate. In addition, the person will have to take hormonal drugs for the rest of his life, because modern medicine has not yet reached the point of growing organs that can independently change secondary sexual characteristics. This is fraught with problems with the kidneys and liver.

Also, a person who has changed gender will have to deal with negative reactions from people around him. In this regard, he will most likely have to be observed by a psychologist for some time in order to more thoroughly adapt to his new life in a renewed body.

Research

The problem of a man wanting to become a woman has been carefully studied by psychiatrists. At the moment, medicine can offer all the conditions for changing gender. Surgeons and endocrinologists have reached the required level to carry out an operation of such complexity without any problems.

Note that over time this phenomenon occurs more and more often. If previously cases of gender reassignment were extremely rare, today an increasing number of people consider themselves transsexuals. Despite the rapid development of medicine and science, scientists cannot say for sure why such a desire arises.

What to do if a man wants to become a woman? First of all, you need to understand that this is not a person’s whim. This is a deep need that puts great pressure on the individual. A person experiences suffering and, in extreme cases, is ready to change his gender. At the same time, he is constantly on the verge of psychological stress, because he feels a gap between the male role that society imposes on him and his own self-determination. Many men say that they are scared to be in their body, they want to get rid of it as quickly as possible, modify it.

Possible reasons

If you visit various psychological forums, you can find messages of this kind: “Man, I want to become a woman, I’m 30 years old.” This tells us that the problem of transsexuality does not depend on age. It manifests itself not only in adolescents who experience difficulties with self-determination and cannot identify themselves in the world. It is typical for adults who have already formed, reached certain heights, learned to build relationships and be independently responsible for their lives.

All this shows that the issue of transsexuality lies on a deeper level. Scientists cannot name the exact factor that causes an obsessive desire to change gender, but there is a list of reasons that directly or indirectly influence a person’s desire to change gender.

Let's list them:

• A man feels unhappy and thinks that if he becomes a woman, he will be happier and more joyful. This attitude and perception can occur after severe shocks and traumas. Perhaps such a person, as a child, suffered greatly from rudeness, cruelty or violence precisely because of his gender. As a result, this can instill a strong fear in a person for life, and he will avoid his gender identification.
• Low self-esteem. There are men who want to increase their self-esteem by changing their gender. They believe that women have more tools at their disposal that help them stand out and raise their self-worth. In fact, the problem here is much deeper, which is why hormone therapy is carried out for men who want to become women. We will talk more about the treatment of this phenomenon, but it should be noted that this is a non-exclusive psychological phenomenon.
• Distorted perception. Men feel like they were girls in the womb. Basically they think that some weird mistake has happened. Inside, guys fully feel like a woman and strive to ensure that the inside reflects the outside.
• Desire for change. This is one of the reasons why a man may decide to take such a step. Indeed, gender change is a significant change in life, a very unusual experience.
• Interest. Perhaps a person just wants to feel like he is in a woman’s body. He is confident that if something goes wrong, he can return to his body. Naturally, an adequate person cannot think like that, so most often such people have psychological deviations.
• The desire to become pregnant and give birth. Answering the question of why a man wants to become a woman, we come to one of the strangest and most interesting reasons. Indeed, there are male representatives who want to experience the delights of pregnancy and childbirth.
• The desire to make your life easier. Infantile people, as well as irresponsible people who do not know how to improve their lives, want to change their gender simply because life is easier for a woman, in their deep conviction.
• Disappointment in partner. Sometimes a statement like “I am a man, I want to become a woman” can be heard from people who have experienced severe disappointment in a relationship. The shock could be so strong that the person lost any sexual orientation. Because of this, he has a pathological desire to change sex. This seems like it will get him out of trouble.

First attempt to die

I was like a small, hunted animal. No one around noticed what was happening to me. And my childhood knowledge was not enough to explain to adults that I was not a boy at all, that in fact, I was a fragile girl who found herself in a man’s body by someone’s evil will. The older I got, the more I hated this body.

At the age of 9, he decided to die. I wrote a farewell note to my parents, said a prayer, and began cutting the veins in my hands with a kitchen knife. Strange, but I felt neither pain nor fear, only an overwhelming desire to end this nightmare. For some reason, I was sure that after death I would definitely ascend to heaven in a female form. The cold blade slid, cut through the thin skin, droplets of scarlet blood flowed down in thin streams, and I waited for the transformation to begin.

Unfortunately, the transformation did not begin - my mother entered the room. This is how I first ended up in a psychiatric clinic. The treatment was long, painful and ineffective.

Upbringing

Sometimes transsexualism can occur in boys who were originally raised as girls. No matter how crazy it may sound, it occurs quite often. Parents who wanted a girl but got a boy can unconsciously or deliberately make him more feminine, adjust his interests and activities, have special conversations with him, etc.

All this leaves its mark on the child’s psyche. In order not to upset or disappoint his parents, he will begin to get used to his role. With such thoughts and in such tension he will grow. At a certain stage of life, the boy will realize that he is confused and does not understand what it is like to be a man, but at the same time not be a woman. This is a serious psychological problem that requires long-term treatment.

About hormone therapy

The main goal of hormone therapy is to ensure maximum safety during gender transition. Its process is divided into three stages:

• Diagnosis by a medical commission.
• Operation.
• Performing hormone therapy.

There are some risks directly associated with taking hormones for guys. Doctors develop a special strategy, and the subsequent treatment regimen is adjusted in accordance with indicators of general health. In the case of male transsexualism, female sex hormones are selected along with estrogens and antiandrogenic drugs. There are currently a large number of these medications and there will definitely not be any problems in getting the necessary funds. Estrogens are produced in the form of gels, patches and tablets. Hormonal levels, as a rule, are regularly monitored by doctors with hormone tests using OAM and OAC.

How to become a woman if you are a man&

So, at the beginning of the article we said that you need to start with psychological elaboration of your desires. You need to understand exactly whether you really want a gender change or whether this desire is caused by specific reasons. If reasons are discovered, then you need to work on them. If your desires are absolutely not tainted by any traumas or shocks, then proceed to bring them to life.

First you need to go to a special clinic. There you will meet specialists and choose your attending physician. He will continue to work with you psychologically to make sure that you understand the possible consequences and carry out such an act adequately. In addition, you will be assigned a number of tests and examinations that you must undergo without fail. This is important because otherwise you will not be able to have the operation.

As you understand, it is quite complex and expensive. It is necessary to have enough funds in order to carry out such a transformation, but one must also take into account various additional expenses, consequences and possible complications. However, this is the second question, the primary one is the state of health. Sometimes people who really want to change their gender are turned down simply because they are not suitable for health reasons. If you are lucky, you will get away with treatment for certain diseases and will soon lie on the operating table. But there may be contraindications that cannot be cured or changed. Then the idea of ​​gender reassignment will have to be abandoned.

God's punishment4

Sometimes, in order to relax, I put on a woman's suit and went like that to wander around the city at night. Such walks helped much more than therapy sessions, hormonal treatment and church attendance combined.

Unfortunately, it was not possible to keep the secret. Usually I got out of the house through the window, and returned in the same way. One day my father saw this. A very unpleasant dialogue took place between us. I slammed the door and left. In the morning, dad passed away. In the evening I ended up in a psychiatric clinic. They didn't let me go to the funeral. During the three months spent in the hospital, I managed to completely rethink my life.

On the first day after discharge, I put on a dress and went to the cemetery.

Well, hello, dad. It's me, your daughter Nadezhda. How I miss you. What a pity that we never talked. What a pity that you never got to know me. I love you dad. It really hurts me that I have become your biggest disappointment. Forgive me if you can.

After that, I left my hometown, never to return there again.

Treatment

We talked about the fact that if a person says something like “I am a man, I want to become a woman,” then he needs to undergo treatment. For this, hormone therapy, which we discussed above, is often prescribed. However, there are other treatment options.

It is important to understand that transsexualism is not considered a pathology by definition, however, doctors must do everything to make sure that such a desire is not caused by some kind of mental disorder. Very often, people undergo treatment with a psychotherapist and realize that they like themselves the way they were born. The idea that they wanted to change their gender simply scares and terrifies them.

Treatment consists of the following stages:

• Analysis of the patient's claims and complaints and compilation of anamnesis.
• Mental diagnosis, which consists of determining suicidal tendencies and susceptibility to depression.

Also during diagnosis, a person’s mental type is determined, and he is offered a number of tests to determine his gender identity. This is what psychotherapeutic treatment consists of.

However, there are also conservative and surgical options. Conservative means that a person is prescribed hormonal drugs. This is done in the case when he has successfully passed a psychological test and confirmed his desire to change sex. Hormones prepare the body for gender change and form secondary sexual characteristics. Surgical treatment involves changing a person's gender.

FFS

FFS is feminizing facial plastic surgery, another procedure to change one's appearance. It is used for men seeking to transform into a woman. Manipulation allows you to make your face more feminine and give it sophistication.

Hormone therapy, started at a later age, does not fully cope with coarsened facial features, “spoilt” by testosterone. As a rule, these are massive brow ridges, a large nose, an Adam's apple, and a large lower jaw. All this gives the facial oval relief and angularity.

FFS will help make your face softer and more pleasant to perceive. It is based on changes in the bone frame and facial muscles.

The choice of manipulation is individual for each person. It is assessed and set by a craniofacial surgeon. The operation can be considered successful when others have no doubts about the transsexual’s new gender.

Complications

We already understand where to start if a man wants to become a woman, but what to do if complications arise after this? It is necessary to treat this with understanding and it is better to immediately prepare for the fact that this is possible.

First of all, complications can manifest themselves in depression, suicidal thoughts and actual attempts to commit suicide. This occurs due to the strong shock that a person experiences when changing gender. Despite the fact that he himself dreamed about it, underwent therapy for a long time and was sure that this was his true desire, in the end it may turn out that he is completely dissatisfied with the result. This will plunge him into a terrible psychological state, so professional help from psychologists will be required.

Psychology

So, a man wants to become a woman. What to do? First, accept his desire and react calmly, even if you have a negative attitude towards it. Do not disturb the mental balance of your loved one, because if he expects some kind of external support, then only from the people closest to him. If you turn away from him at such a moment, you will greatly worsen the relationship or even destroy it.

Remember that if a person repeats “I am a man, I want to become a woman,” then it is not a fact that this will actually happen. Perhaps, after several sessions with a psychologist, your loved one will understand that these desires were inspired by some conditions or pathologies.

View from the outside

“I want to be a woman” is a completely normal desire that can be inherent in males. In fact, women who want to turn into a man are also common.

We do not know the exact reasons for this phenomenon, but it cannot be denied that such people exist and need help from society. If they are confident in their needs, then they must try to satisfy them, because in the end it is not the gender of a person that is important, but whether he is happy or not.

It is necessary to develop your tolerance and understand that the world is very diverse, every person has the right to self-expression. If you hear someone you know say something like “I want to become a woman,” then you shouldn’t turn away or scoff. Perhaps you were entrusted with your most intimate thoughts in the hope of support. Always be gentle and tolerant when dealing with such people because they are psychologically unstable and suicidal.

Contraindications for gender reassignment

There are some “don’ts” related to gender reassignment. They apply to both men and women.

And here they are:

1. Having a child or children.
2. Addiction.
3. Alcoholism.
4. Homosexuality.
5. Any mental illness.
6. Very young age. In some countries it is prohibited to perform operations if the patient is under twenty-one years old, in others it is age: twenty-five.
7. Marriage (official).