How do you understand that you have stopped loving someone - you are no longer your soul mate?

Falling in love gives euphoria to two lovers, they do not want to part for a minute, and it seems that the unearthly feeling will last forever. Representatives of the fair sex are especially susceptible to dizzying emotions. However, over time, a cooling towards the other half occurs, and the question arises of how to understand that you have fallen out of love, how to recognize temporary fatigue from a person, or the fading of feelings. This article will help you determine your true attitude towards a guy or man, understand yourself and come to an understanding of what to do next.

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You see more flaws in a person than strengths

Falling in love puts rose-colored glasses on us - we don’t see any flaws in a person. Over time, the euphoria passes, but our sober look, noticing the disadvantages, does not detract from the numerous advantages of our loved one. When feelings fade away, our partner’s shortcomings come to the fore, overshadowing all the positives. We become intolerant even of those little things to which we previously reacted calmly. This is an alarming symptom that indicates a change in your attitude towards your loved one.

About love and falling in love

Falling in love is an unstable, fickle, stormy feeling. It comes suddenly, hits the head with the intoxication of feelings, intoxicates the mind. And human nature, hormones, pheromones are to blame. Reproduction is the basis of permanence. It is supported by the natural mechanism of falling in love. Here, even a prince, even a beggar, everything is one: the clouded consciousness cannot discern to whom the heart is so passionately drawn. Or maybe not a heart at all. Falling in love passes as suddenly as it comes. The man is sobering up, but the love hangover has not been canceled. That’s why it’s so bad, that’s why former couples are struggling.

Love is a stable, constant, reasonable feeling. They immerse themselves in it with complete dedication and understanding. Loving people look soberly at their partner, see shortcomings and positive sides, know their habits and inclinations, respect their partner’s freedom, care, and worry. In a love union, addiction is not painful.

Falling in love is a bright flash of fireworks, and love is a warm center of constancy.

You need to be alone more and more often

Previously, you tried to spend every free minute with your loved one, but now you can seriously choose between an evening with him or alone. This suggests that you are no longer comfortable in society with your chosen one. Communication with him began to weigh on you. There can be a lot of reasons - constant conflicts, divergence of interests, indifference to each other’s lives. Whatever the reason, the regular choice of solitude or the company of other people indicates a gap between you that only continues to grow.

How do you understand that love has passed and you should break up?

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However, over time, feelings inevitably become calmer, while you discover more and more new sides in a person, get to know him.

How can you understand that love has really passed?

7 symptoms that feelings have gone away

1. The first sign is irritation. You begin to be annoyed by the habits and behavior of your once loved one. You suddenly notice that you don’t like the way he smells or the way he smiles. You notice flaws in his appearance.
2. You feel less and less likely to spend time together. You are not in a hurry to get home from work, you each meet with your friends, and joint leisure does not bring joy and pleasure.
3. You have moved away from each other - you have stopped sharing your innermost thoughts and impressions, you have begun to communicate less often, you often become bored and even burdened in the company of your partner.
4. Sexual desire has disappeared. If sex has become perceived as a duty and does not bring much pleasure, this is a bad sign.
5. You have become indifferent to quarrels - you do not strive for reconciliation, you do not try to sort things out.
6. The person has stopped occupying your thoughts. During the day at work, you may not think about it even once. You don’t care about his problems and experiences - you just stopped thinking and caring about him.
7. Finally, imagine that the person you are with becomes seriously ill. Of course, such thoughts in everyday life need to be driven away from oneself. But it’s worth thinking about whether you are ready to care for a very sick person, whether you are ready to sacrifice something for him. Ask yourself and answer the question honestly. This way you can assess the depth of your feelings.

Do not cling to relationships if love has long grown into the habit of being together. Living with an unloved person, you only torture each other. Listen to yourself, and if you don’t find in your heart the desire to maintain the relationship and rekindle your feelings, it’s time to leave.

Consider whether you are staying in a relationship out of fear of being alone. Perhaps you are afraid that you will not meet the best person. Or the very prospect of finding your other half is frightening. In any case, there is no point in continuing such a relationship - this is a road to nowhere. Find the strength within yourself to let the person go.

What relationships should you end?

In what other situations should you think about breaking up?

• If your relationship is built on control and manipulation. Don't let a person subjugate you and control your every step. If you encounter such an example of oppressive influence, it is better to end the relationship.

• If your partner does not respect you, he constantly belittles you, criticizes your appearance and actions, and makes unconstructive remarks.

• If for some reason a person is embarrassed about your relationship - he doesn’t take you out with him, doesn’t want to introduce you to friends, keeps your relationship a secret. Your loved one should be proud of you.

Of course, saying goodbye to someone with whom you have many memories is not easy. Make this decision with confidence that you are doing the right thing.

You don't see a future together

Previously, dreams of a future together came naturally, but now you are increasingly making plans for a life where there is no organic place for your lover. If you don’t see him next to you after a few years, then think about it - maybe subconsciously you have already crossed out this person from your life a long time ago?

Stages of love development

Some people fall in love at first sight. It happens that a girl receives a marriage proposal on the first day of acquaintance. But in most cases, love is a long process that includes the following stages:

1. Choosing a partner. According to psychologists, this happens on an unconscious level, instinctively. For example, you walk into a room full of people. Undoubtedly, you will single out the person who attracted you sexually. It attracts you on a basic biological level because the body senses that your genes, mixed with its genes, will produce very healthy children.
2. Romance and love. This is the phase that all films and romantic novels talk about. Note that all films end with “they lived happily ever after.” In romantic melodramas, we will not see how newlyweds arrange their everyday life and face their first difficulties. At this stage we do not see reality - love is blind. We see people the way we want them to look. Chemists have found that monoamine hormones create a dizzying rush.
3. The fall of romantic love. Everyone goes through this phase, even the most passionate couples. If you live in a culture that focuses almost exclusively on romantic love, this can be very unsettling. Therefore, when passion goes away, many people think that love goes away too. Also during this period, there is an opportunity to look at your partner with a sober look and evaluate him, only this time seriously. At this moment, many people understand whether they made the right choice or not.
4. Think of this time as a chance to see your partner for who they really are and decide if you made the right choice.
5. Real true love. If at the moment when the passion has died down, you decide that you made the right choice and your partner is the one you need, then you are on the way to true love. This happens gradually and slowly, one to two years after the previous stage. Over the years, your feelings will continue to grow. At this time, chemicals, nonapeptides, work in the human body, which contribute to the creation of a deep spiritual connection between partners.

You can imagine yourself with another person

If you, thinking about your life and future, can imagine yourself next to another person, then this is a depressing symptom for your current relationship. You are open to new people and live with the feeling that another person may appear in your life - better and more worthy than the previous one. The current chosen one no longer seems to you the best candidate for the role of your companion, and you will always doubt him, waiting for a more suitable person to appear on the horizon. In such a situation, relationships become an unnecessary yoke around the neck, preventing you from starting a new life.

Withdrawal

She is a frequent companion of the young, inexperienced, who have fallen in love for the first time. It’s painful to watch dream castles crumble, failed marriages break up, and imaginary children not be born. Having succumbed to love for the first time, young people build a new universe around the object of their feelings; it becomes the center of the universe. A person in love develops a feeling of dependence, which makes it difficult to leave the relationship. The terrible moment of the first breakup is the inability to admit the illusory nature of the made-up world. To a person in love, it seems that life cannot continue without the beloved. But what are the causes of suffering?

Young people feel pain from broken dreams. The exit from the first relationship is a road of uncertainty. How to live further? If you cling to your ex-lover as your only bastion of stability, it means your feelings have gone away. Fears of a new life remained.

A common phenomenon is the fear of loneliness. The status “In love with...” changes to “Everything is complicated.” Trying to delay the inevitable causes even more suffering. And the feelings cannot be returned. The old admiration was gone, the interest was gone. One obsessive and natural in its selfishness thought pulsates in my head: “What about me?” I want to prove my importance to the person I loved in the past, to hit him harder.

Some couples choose the tactic of alternating breakups and reconciliations, artificially heating up feelings.

Quarrels happen in every couple, but when they become commonplace, you need to forget about the seriousness of the relationship.

Another category susceptible to sensory withdrawal is people prone to deep inner experiences and persistent feelings. They masterfully heat up internal tension. Suffering becomes proof of “true love.” In fact, experiences come down to egocentric thoughts and the creation of an exalted image of a martyr.

You no longer strive to solve problems

The desire to understand the causes of quarrels is a natural impulse, indicating that you value the person and your relationship. But now another conflict only evokes a desire to escape, rather than discuss the accumulated grievances once again. When you sometimes get into an argument, you blame and reproach your partner for all his mistakes, recalling many episodes from the past. If this situation is familiar to you, it means that you have let the relationship take its course, no longer having the strength and desire to fight for a happy future with this person.

He will not return

To begin with, I would like to focus on the signs that make it clear in more than one way that the partner is from that very irrevocable half. After all, it is better to immediately stop entertaining illusions in anticipation of what is not destined to happen. So, the list for those whose point of no return has already been passed:

• Breaking contacts. Ignoring messages, missed calls, negative replies, go-ahead signals, closest companions will soon appear on the “black list”. Obsession and attempts to see each other will only aggravate the situation and will completely humiliate you in the eyes of your ex.
• Refusal to help. If even the slightest request is answered with ignorance or outright irritation, then the past no longer matters in his life.
• The presence of a new passion. A man can leave because of a woman, or he can meet her immediately after a breakup. This does not affect the essence, if he found a replacement, he has no place next to you.
• Disappearance from life. Months pass, has he stopped communicating with mutual friends? This means that he wants to isolate himself from the past by all means and certainly does not consider the way back. This is also evidenced by the return of gifts, the removal of all things in the very first days.
• Coldness and detachment. If before parting and during the last conversation he was calm, saying that you are wonderful, you deserve more, it means he wanted to get rid of it quickly, without wasting extra energy.

Trying to stay late at work

This is another form of increased interest in social life. When personal relationships no longer bring joy, a person is able to begin to sublimate his energy into his career - asking for additional tasks, staying late, taking work home. In addition, he can simply stay too long with his colleagues, because the goal is still the same - to spend less time with his partner and distract himself from thinking about his feelings.