How to believe in yourself and your strengths: advice from a psychologist

June 1, 2019
Self-esteem
Tatyana Proskuryakova

Self-confidence is an indispensable attribute of success. Without this, it is absolutely impossible to achieve any satisfactory result. A person only reveals his full potential when he can act openly, using his internal resources. Self-development is impossible without developed self-confidence. This is the only way we can act openly, putting all our abilities into practice. Believing in yourself and your strength can sometimes be difficult. This requires some effort and enlisting your own support. So, what should you keep in mind? Let's try to understand this issue. The advice of a psychologist will be useful to those who are desperate and do not know how to regain peace of mind.

Stop comparing

How to force yourself to believe in yourself if circumstances are clearly not going well? Many people have the sin of looking to the majority opinion for any reason. They have no idea how much such thoughts limit them. Sometimes a series of unpleasant events unsettles you so much that it then takes a lot of time to come to your senses and restore the wasted strength.

The habit of comparing can have a very detrimental effect on personality development. In particular, self-confidence also depends on how independent we can remain in a crowd. You need to direct your efforts to create your own picture of the world, constantly confirming your chosen solution. And for this you need to clearly understand what you need.

The right environment

It is necessary to build an appropriate social circle for yourself. If you constantly interact with negatively-minded individuals, is it any wonder that you yourself begin to focus too much on unpleasant moments? The fact is that whether we like it or not, there is mutual influence, the power of which cannot be denied. Positively minded people can help you gain a different perspective on the world and begin to act more constructively, in accordance with individual preferences. No person can live isolated from society and still feel happy. Timely support is very important. Especially in the case when a person is at a crossroads and does not know what to do correctly. This is why your social circle should be chosen especially carefully and carefully.

How to raise morale. Exercises

To change your attitude towards yourself, you need to move in several directions at once.

First, start thinking of yourself with respect and love.
Because a new attitude towards yourself begins with saying goodbye to destructive thoughts about your shortcomings. Even if these thoughts were instilled in you by your parents. Forget everything bad that they told you about your abilities, drive away thoughts like “I’m a loser” every time they flash through your mind.
Secondly, look for areas of activity in which you feel competent.
Let me remind you that self-confidence largely depends on real success - the more often you succeed in something, the more you believe in the possibility of new achievements, and vice versa, bad experience can sow doubts in your own abilities.

For example, you are planning to learn how to dance samba, but you do not have the necessary abilities - a sense of rhythm, good coordination, musicality, etc. Therefore, you will have to make serious efforts to learn even the simplest movements and fail time after time. With each unsuccessful action, it will become more and more difficult to believe in yourself. At the same time, our perception is structured in such a way that it can transfer negative experiences from one area to all others. And after repeated unsuccessful attempts to master dance, a person may feel that in all other areas he is unsuccessful and incompetent.

What is the takeaway from this example? You need to know your strengths and weaknesses in order to realize your talents and boost your morale. Plus, you constantly gain new knowledge, skills, life experience, and become truly more successful and effective. And then the experience of achievements and the approval of others will do their job - based on this experience, it will be easier to believe in yourself in the future, even if a difficult task lies ahead.

Of course, self-confidence is a state that cannot simply be taken and appropriated by an effort of will. To replace self-doubt with confidence, you need to work hard on yourself. But what if you need results quickly, here and now? What if the situation requires decisive and bold action? There are several exercises that will help perk up your spirit.

Accept your “I”. Practice self-praise

Write down on paper all the affectionate nicknames that your family and friends call you. Make a list of positive qualities and rank them in order of importance and value. Imagine that you are writing on behalf of a friend or loved one. Try to add as many poetic descriptions and comparisons as possible to your text - “sharp as an eagle”, “gentle as cotton candy”. Write down the shortcomings that you will probably find in yourself in a laudatory manner (“No one else, except me, knows how to misinterpret notes in karaoke so masterfully”). Read the resulting description to as many people around you as possible.

Don't take it personally

Everything that others think and say about you is a projection of their own reality. Every time you hear less than flattering words about yourself, think that the person who said them most likely has his own problems, troubles or difficult past experiences.

In a moment of doubt

At the moment when you begin to be overwhelmed by thoughts about your own worthlessness or doubts that some existing problem can be solved, ask yourself 4 questions.

What I think now about myself or about the situation is true?
Do I really never live up to my own and other people's expectations? Or are there several examples in my past when everything worked out?
How do I respond to thoughts of worthlessness? Am I scared, angry or sad?
Who would I be without these thoughts? How would I feel if I couldn't think bad about myself?

Now replace the initial thought about yourself, which was formulated in a negative way, with its complete opposite. For example, “I don’t have enough ability to paint a picture” - “I’ll paint a picture”, “I won’t be able to get a good job” - “I’ll get a good job.” Confirm this idea with facts: I draw well, I have drawing skills, I have been painting for a long time and can do a lot, etc.

After this, ask yourself the 4 original questions again, only with respect to the new wording. This practice helps you get rid of doubts about your capabilities and look at yourself differently, without pessimistic glasses.

In addition, try to surround yourself with confident people; their example can inspire us to never stop trying, not to give up, and to strive for new achievements.

Advantages and disadvantages

Each of us has strengths and weaknesses. This is a fact that is difficult to argue with. When thinking about how to believe in yourself, you need to know your own essence well. It would be extremely useful to write down your advantages and disadvantages on paper. This is how you can be convinced that you deserve much more than you thought. There is no point in blaming yourself for past mistakes and defeats. Start working on yourself. Personal growth involves discovering new perspectives. There is nothing more attractive than being able to act on your inner beliefs.

How to believe in yourself and gain confidence

How to believe in yourself if you haven't done anything outstanding?

List of victories

There were no major achievements? Your journey began with small victories - record them on paper.

What to put on the list:

difficult situations from which you emerged with dignity;
a complex recipe for a dish that will captivate you;
small or vice versa sporting achievement;
diploma of education.

Make a list as you wish, there are many options. Remember when you felt the feeling of victory?

Environment

It is difficult to believe in yourself if there are people nearby who constantly criticize, offend, belittle or do not notice your achievements. Negative people play a destructive role in your life; it is almost impossible to achieve success around pessimists and critics.

Eliminate toxic relationships from your life. Is there no way to break off relations with them? Limit your interactions with them as much as possible. Sometimes praise is not necessary for self-confidence - the absence of criticism and insults are no less worth it.

Accept yourself

Another step to help you believe in yourself. Come to terms with who you are. Accept your strengths and weaknesses fully. Love yourself, take care, look after yourself.

Change your point of view

Do thoughts about negative events upset you? Focus less on problems and look for positive aspects. Look how much good there is around, thank fate for it. Transform from a pessimist to an optimist, learn positive thinking.

Stage-by-stage victories

It is difficult to believe in yourself when you fail in your endeavors. Don't wait until a major task is completed to praise yourself. Mark all the small stages of progress towards the goal, record them. Set only achievable goals, start small. Move along the path of modest victories towards a real goal. This is better than suffering defeats on the way to the unattainable.

Defeat laziness

If you too are worried about how to believe in yourself and take action, you need to reconsider your attitude towards action. Remember that a lazy person is unlikely to achieve anything significant in life. When we are subject to this weakness, it becomes very difficult to understand our immediate prospects. Only by overcoming your own destructive habits can you fully free yourself from painful thoughts. Laziness incredibly limits us and prevents us from realizing our plans.

Where to begin?

How to gain self-confidence and believe in yourself? Start with the following steps:

Work on destructive beliefs.
Write down all the attitudes that undermine your confidence and transform them into the opposite, positive beliefs.
Determine where these beliefs came from and who instilled them in you. Find counterarguments and review your experience.
Accept that everyone faces challenges and everyone makes mistakes. This will help you approach life more simply and move away from the role of a victim. Remember: everything can be decided while you are alive.
Draw a portrait of a confident person. Who is he in your opinion, what qualities does he have, how does he behave, etc. If you have one or more personalities in mind whose experience you are ready to adopt, then focus on them.

To quickly increase self-confidence or gain it in a specific situation, you can create an alter ego. Choose for yourself a second self that will have a different name, maybe even a gender, and those characteristics that you lack: confidence, responsibility, determination, sociability, etc.

In difficult situations, get used to this image. Soon this Self will merge with the true Self, that is, you will become more confident and will be able to refuse the services of your assistant.

Active lifestyle

How to believe in yourself if gloomy reality does not allow you to do so? It is necessary to thoroughly reconsider the attitude towards current events. After all, the surrounding reality is the way we ourselves imagine it, endowing it with certain characteristics.

An active lifestyle contributes to the emergence of new thoughts, fresh ideas and constructive solutions. If you are also thinking about how to start believing in yourself, you should definitely be patient. You just have to take certain steps every day that lead to a positive result. Soon you will notice tangible changes for the better.

Learn to say no

When a person tries to please everyone, nothing good comes of it. As a rule, the matter ends with a large loss of energy as a result of strong tension. Learning to refuse is simply necessary for those who are going to become a successful person. Many people ask how to believe in yourself when you give up? It is imperative to filter the incoming information. You should not agree with all the proposals that are around. By learning to say “no” to others, we find the strength to begin to act in accordance with our own internal attitudes. It is likely that those around us will change their attitude towards us.

Setting Big Goals

How to learn to believe in yourself, no matter what? You should definitely reconsider your personal beliefs, understand which road you are taking, what you are moving towards. Goals must be attractive so that you want to achieve them and rejoice at the approach of your dream. In this case, there is a great surge of strength and a desire to quickly achieve the desired result. If you set yourself fairly significant goals, then following the chosen path will become much more interesting. In this case, the person will almost certainly not stop at any obstacles and will not allow himself to be confused.

The ability to manage thoughts is very important here. Only then will anxiety begin to subside. How to help a person believe in himself if he can’t? You need to convince him of the need to try to set the desired goals for himself. Self-confidence is an obvious indicator of personal growth.

Live your goals

Assess your goals for a year, five years, and your entire life. Be honest with yourself. Are these really your aspirations or just pictures from a fashion magazine stuck in your mind? Do you really want this or is this goal imposed by your spouse, your boss, or your environment? Maybe, instead of traveling to tropical islands, deep down in your heart you dream of locking yourself in your office and writing a program or a novel? Or, on the contrary, is it time to give up everything and exchange the corporate tie for a bungalow overlooking the ocean?

You can only believe in yourself if you live your life. You can’t waste your time fulfilling other people’s desires and respect yourself at the same time.

Increased efficiency

Check yourself, do you always act as focused and active as possible? In most cases, people spend a lot of time on various experiences and little time on important activities. To learn to manage yourself, you need to try to harmonize your own state of mind. Our fears and anxieties take up too much emotional strength, without which it is impossible to work productively and achieve better results. How to believe in yourself without being disappointed? You must strive to improve your efficiency.

Let the work bring joy, true inspiration and spiritual transformation. A person can only feel truly confident when he accepts full responsibility for what is happening. The efforts made are truly worth a lot.

Checking desires for truth

If you have a goal, strive for it. Make a plan for your actions and check yourself for the truth of your desires: do you really need it and why? Will you be happier when you achieve what you want? If yes, then this is yours, go for it! Feel free to move towards your goal, but without rushing things and without attaching great importance to what is happening.

In your life there will be exactly what you deserve, what you correspond to. Therefore, when you believe in yourself and take success for granted, it will certainly come to you, and if you doubt and consider yourself unworthy, then, excuse me, you will get what you deserve.

Tags: achieving goals, life positions, self-education, motivation, personal psychology, goals, working on oneself, self-esteem, self-organization, self-confidence

Constant self-education

When struggling with the question of how to believe in yourself, you need to try to assimilate new information whenever possible. At some point, awareness of any issue can be very useful and help in resolving a conflict situation. Self-education must be present in your life. Anyone who expands their knowledge will certainly find themselves in an advantageous position. By self-education, a person expands the horizons of his own capabilities. At some point, he notices that it becomes easier for him to look for a way out of the current situation.

Gradually, self-confidence and the desire to have outstanding achievements appear. This effect is definitely worth the effort. As a result, a person chooses a certain direction in life and tries to follow it. This includes choosing the desired profession. Sometimes you have to review many options before you settle on the most suitable one. Internal reserves will only increase if you begin to radiate tremendous self-confidence. You should not refuse the opportunity for self-education when it actually appears in your life.

We'll give you tips on how to overcome your insecurities.

To understand the question of how to believe in yourself, you need to do a lot of work on yourself. So:

The first step in this difficult struggle will be your positive thinking. Try to look at yourself under the lens of your deep self-knowledge. Look at yourself constructively, without hiding your real natural advantages. They are in every person.
Don't just follow the example of successful people, communicate with them. Attend their online conferences where they are happy to talk about their achievements. Listen to their advice, get a positive charge of energy from them.
Find an outlet in your favorite activity. Think about a hobby. If there is none, think about what will bring you moral satisfaction and joy, and help in self-realization. And you shouldn’t be scattered in several directions, choose one and go for it.
Don't resist the challenges ahead. They will still catch up with you, life is cyclical. There is no need to be afraid and hide from them, give up and give up your dreams. There are no hopeless situations, there is always a way out.
Don’t have any illusions that you will achieve everything easily and quickly. Set small goals first and slowly move forward. By achieving small successes, you will become more confident in yourself and your self-esteem will increase.
Don't be afraid to be rejected. If you hit a setback, there will be a chance to fix it in the future.
Get rid of fears. Do those things that you are afraid of. For example, go on skates, sign up for a driving course, jump with a parachute. Kill your fears and confidence will grow in you.
Always have a positive attitude. Program your future for success.
Pay attention to your appearance and demeanor. These are our complexes. If you are not happy with your figure, join a gym. No time - study at home. The main desire. Work on your manners, learn to keep your back straight, on your gaze, gestures, speech, all this can be easily done in the mirror.
Never make excuses or blame yourself. If you have made a mistake, you need to admit it and move on, don’t delve into the past, think about the future. Tormented by guilt, you destroy your personality. Tune in to the positive and share your wonderful mood with others.
Leave your comfort zone. You live within the framework, comfortable and cozy, which you yourself created. If you mentally erase these boundaries, your comfort zone will expand. Avoid the pitfalls of confined spaces. It will not be possible to develop self-confidence and achieve what you want in life while sitting at home within four walls, not moving anywhere. After work, visit the pool, gym, or go for an evening jog.

You can, of course, attend trainings, make an appointment with a psychologist who will tell you how to believe in yourself. The main thing is to understand that the problem is in our head.

Favourite buisness

The importance of a hobby can hardly be overestimated. Its positive influence on an individual is enormous. It is then that a person gets the opportunity to reveal his full potential, no matter how insignificant it may seem. In fact, each of us has certain talents hidden within us. You just need to find them and make efforts for effective self-realization. We become truly happy when we do what we are meant to do. The soul finds peace and inspiration. There is a desire to follow your inner impulses, to pay attention to what is happening with your thoughts and feelings. When a person starts doing what he loves, he feels a huge surge of strength. As a result, any desires become achievable, and all aspirations are easily realized in reality. The ability to believe in oneself is very important for a thinking person focused on creative realization. But even a simple man in the street discovers the enduring meaning of life when he begins to follow his inner voice. This is how limiting beliefs change and the spiritual power of the individual increases. What we love is what inspires us to great achievements and helps us make amazing discoveries.

Disservice

Sometimes excessive care and concern in the life of another person takes on a rather negative character. For example, an overly caring mother who, in an attempt to help her child, does everything for him. In this way, you can raise a dependent and irresponsible person. So is helping friends, relatives and friends.

It is impossible for a person to put his head on. Therefore, attempts to explain something sometimes fail and the person closes down even more or becomes aggressive, and a defense mechanism is triggered. You can’t just take one affectionate phrase and radically change a person’s life.

Helping a person in this condition should not be like caring for a sick person. This option is especially bad with a man. The more pity, the less a person wants to do something and he falls more and more into the pit of depression and indifference to life.

Pity draws you into its net very strongly and a person begins to do even worse in order to receive even more pity, attention and care. Therefore, I advise you to take a close look at your friend’s behavior, maybe he is now just asking for pity, and you are feeding his negative state?

Be sure to read the article “How to comfort a friend.” In it, I explain quite clearly and understandably when it is necessary to give a person time to cry and be alone, and when it is worth moving on to more decisive actions.

Your task is to provide support instead of care and pity. It may be in a softer form, or it may be more demanding. But it should be just support. Let's try to find out what a real, correct and strong support in a relationship with a person is.

Working with self-esteem

An important criterion that for some reason is often overlooked. You can start a completely worthy business, but if you do not have adequate self-esteem, you are unlikely to succeed soon. Unfortunately, people are not always ready to change themselves, get rid of addictive behavior and wrong habits. The fact is that luck loves the enterprising and brave. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort before the situation changes in a positive direction. Nothing just happens.

It should be remembered that everything depends on the person himself. The more stubbornness and healthy selfishness we have, the better. Self-esteem has a great influence on achieving the desired result. Only by learning to appreciate yourself can you expect a good attitude from others. Otherwise, you will have to constantly suffer and complain about life. One must continue to believe in oneself, despite unsatisfactory circumstances, and act according to individual convictions. Only in this case will the efforts made really bring pleasure.

How to believe in yourself when you give up

Self-confidence can slip away from time to time due to various factors: criticism from others, another failed attempt to realize what was planned, a series of bad luck, or the inflated significance of what is happening. But there are situations when you give up and everything that pops into your head concerns only how to quit everything, and not how to believe in yourself and your strength, because objectively there is no strength left. Depressive and apathetic states, moments of crisis suck all reserves from the energy reservoir, leaving no opportunity to move on. Often the problem is not solved for so long that there is no strength to continue, but there is also no resource left for care. All this concerns issues of rethinking and finding motivation. It is the presence of meaning in one’s life and a motive for every action that gives a person new opportunities, fills him with energy and turns on imagination for other ways of achieving.

You'll have to do some soul-searching to find out whether your hard work is still your true goal. All set goals must be periodically reviewed and adjusted to stay on course. Well, what's the point of investing in a relationship where they cheat on you for the purpose of further marriage? What is the point of continuing to draw up a methodology for a project that has not been launched for a year, but continues to require development from you? Why go to visit those who have long ceased to be your friends? It’s easier to choose a goal once, but only when it no longer corresponds to your changed internal attitudes, the energy will not be supplied to achieve it. Your subconscious will begin to choose erroneous strategies, trigger various somatic diseases, and in other ways prevent the fulfillment of what has ceased to be your true desire.

Try to consider your life globally and as broadly as possible, seeing all the relationships that exist at the moment, imagine the future. Such an analysis helps in understanding how much the goal that you are striving for and trying to raise your motivation from scratch will please you when it is realized. Look for the larger meaning of your life, rather than short-term stages of satisfaction, after achievement, which are covered by emptiness and hopelessness. When you focus on such a lifestyle, over time a psychological defense is activated that does not allow you to achieve what you have chosen, because after achievement there is no joy expected, emptiness and meaninglessness await, and while you are endlessly struggling in attempts to achieve, life seems to be filled with meaning. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between meanings, values and goals: the first makes you live and feel energy, the second sets the choice of paths for implementation, and the third shows the direction.

When you reconsider your life, it does not give quick results, so it would be good to have the support of loved ones at this stage. In principle, this is a great strategy when you are not coping, and sometimes it is the delegation of some responsibilities that allows you to breathe new life into a frozen event.

Eliminate all negativity from your sight, stop at least temporarily communicating with people who do not believe in you and your success. Take risks and loudly declare your desires, because perhaps realization is somewhere very close. If you are looking for a job, tell everyone, maybe even strangers, but nice people, if you are confused in finding the right product, then start looking in places and countries where you have not been before or which for some reason you were afraid to trust. Such risky experiments often give a positive result, because if you didn’t find something, didn’t receive it, didn’t finish it with where you are now, it might be worth changing the external scenery.

Get your life in order

It's not just about putting everything in its place. Although this point is important, since a long stay in chaos is incredibly frustrating and contributes to the formation of insecurity. A person begins to feel that he is unable to cope with even the most basic tasks. Of course, order affects mental activity and mood. Inner strength appears only in those who strive for harmony and want to control the situation. Try to avoid a state of uncertainty when you cannot influence the course of events in any way. No one likes the feeling of helplessness, no matter what causes it. Putting things in order in life means stopping complaining and complaining about what is happening. The main thing is to accept responsibility for all events and try not to let go of the steering wheel. Believing in yourself is especially important when you are starting a new stage, and mental strength is not enough for a comfortable feeling of self.

Self-confidence and learned helplessness

One of the reasons

The reason why some give up after a series of failures, while others only stand their ground more stubbornly and with each new defeat strengthen their faith in their own capabilities, and each new defeat is considered as an approach to their cherished goal,
is learned helplessness.
This phenomenon was discovered by Martin Seligman. The scientist conducted an experiment on dogs. I divided them into three groups. The first two groups of dogs were in a box with current supplied, the third - without. In the first group, the dogs could get free after poking their muzzles at a certain point. The dogs from the second group could not influence the situation in any way - the box opened, regardless of their actions.

As a result, when all the test animals were again placed in a special chamber with a current applied to the floor, the dogs from the second group showed complete apathy - they did not even try to get free and avoid pain, they simply lay down on the floor and whined pitifully. The dogs from the first and third groups easily jumped over the small partition and found themselves free.

The mental state of the experimental subjects from the second group was called learned helplessness - a sense of self in which the dominant idea is that the result does not depend on our actions and efforts, we do not influence the outcome of events. As a result, we stop believing in ourselves.

Whether or not a state of learned helplessness develops after a series of failures and how intense it will be will depend on the type of attribution, i.e. on how a person interprets the events that happened to him . If a person blames himself for all failures and considers negative events to be natural, then most likely he will be inclined to give up

. With a more optimistic approach, when a person sees an unfortunate combination of circumstances as the cause of failure and considers failures to be accidental, then he will be more likely to be inclined to fight.

So, we found out that the state of lack of faith in oneself and one’s strengths can be a consequence of learned helplessness, which has become a personal trait. According to Seligman, this trait is formed in childhood, around the age of 8

.
A person’s belief in the effectiveness of his actions, when he sees a direct connection between his own efforts and results, is formed under the influence of parents and their upbringing
.

Parents who gave their child little room for independence, tried to do everything for him, tried to satisfy any needs, contributed to helplessness. It is quite logical that for such mothers and fathers, the child grows up helpless and does not believe in himself, because a person learns about what he can and cannot do from others. If an overly caring parent does not allow the child to do anything on his own, helpfully puts away toys for him, ties his shoelaces, etc., then it is quite natural that the child internalizes the attitude that he himself is not capable of anything.

In addition, a helpless child grows up in families where the father is overly strict and controls every step, and punishes for disobedience.

Parents themselves are convinced of the incorrigibility and badness of their offspring and latently demonstrate this conviction to him.

Another source of the formation of self-doubt is school education.

, which does not allow the child to reveal his abilities.
For the school system, any self-confidence is bad, because a self-confident child is more difficult to manage, he has his own opinion, and this is a danger and risk for the school system. Therefore, preschool teachers and school teachers are aimed at ensuring that the child does not stand out and is as modest as possible. “I am the last letter in the alphabet” - this is what we are taught in childhood.
Other reasons that lead to uncertainty include:

inflated demands and unrealistic expectations; with this approach you will never be able to meet the given standard and will always disappoint yourself;
inability to forgive mistakes;
perfectionism and constant self-flagellation - the ideal is unattainable and therefore you are never good enough for yourself.

Gaining experience

Even if it is not entirely positive, it will still help you look at certain things differently. Gaining experience is especially important when you want to learn something. You should understand that everything never works out at once. For any acquisitions, you will need to familiarize yourself with the situation in detail and delve into the essence of what is happening. Some parents are interested in how to make their child believe in themselves? First of all, he should be given the opportunity to make his own choice.

As a rule, if adults do not interfere in any way with its development, then the child will successfully self-determine at a certain moment. The child is strongly connected to his own emotions and knows what he wants. The acquisition of the necessary experience itself will make it possible to have concrete ideas about life.

How can you help a man with self-confidence?

Let's give some tips:

Take a closer look at its qualities. It often happens when a woman draws an ideal in her head, and then it turns out that it does not coincide with the real character, constant criticism and humiliation begin. Should not be doing that. It is necessary to help a man develop the missing qualities, not set unreasonable goals, and offer options that will suit both.
You need to change yourself. It’s stupid to blame him for something if you are not developing and cannot be realized in life. Show by personal example how to act, your wisdom and activity in the work process.
Let him be a man, not a henpecked man. Give the opportunity to independently solve serious gaps and take care of you. Requests should not look like orders. Be affectionate and gentle to awaken the real male in him.
You can't criticize or compare. Do not under any circumstances say that he is worse than your friend’s husband. It's your choice, so there shouldn't be any complaints. When you start comparing with other men, your self-esteem drops and you don’t want to do anything. It is necessary to support and encourage him.
Surround with care and love. This is important, create a favorable climate in the family.
You should always talk and consult with him. Show that he is the head of the family. Share your thoughts and suggestions, listen carefully, even if you decide differently.
Praise and thank. This will be an incentive to become a good husband and father. Notice every good deed, no matter how small, and praise it. This will contribute to the growth of his self-esteem.

Now we know how to help a man believe in himself. And yet, you should always speak in a calm tone, not humiliate, evaluate or lecture. The main thing is to provide support, both moral and physical. For example, introduce him to the right people, from whom he will receive a good business proposal, and so on.