Right way of life
How to learn to live correctly without taking care of yourself and your body? No way. A person must take care of himself. This includes not only basic hygiene rules such as brushing your teeth and regularly changing your underwear. Exercise, jogging, light exercise or something similar - the body needs all this no less than water or food, it’s just not expressed so clearly. At least at a young age. In old age, the lack of physical activity will have an impact. That is why it is recommended not to forget about your body, not only in terms of cleanliness, but also in other respects. Morning exercises or jogging, getting up and going to bed at a certain time, healthy eating, as little as possible of the pleasant “harmful” things in life like cigarettes, alcohol... The list can be continued for a very long time, but in general everyone has an idea of what the “correct” way of life should be.
Happiness beyond matter
Tatyana: The most interesting thing is that every person knows what is needed for a happy future, that it lies beyond matter.
Igor Mikhailovich: But consciousness prevents us from understanding this. And that’s the problem. Why? Because people don't live like that. Elementary, simple knowledge, that which was accessible to all mankind, which was lived by not so long ago, before the formation of statehood, was available to people.
Why AllatRa was all over the world, this whole sign. Now this... Now we are sitting and talking about this, you know, about simple, elementary things that everyone should live by, which should... well, a person must do this.
This... This is Life! But this is unacceptable for many people today. Why? Because their consciousness forbids them.
Right Thoughts
Thoughts are no less important than self-development. His life directly depends on how a person thinks. And if he wonders how to live correctly and happily, it means there is more negativity in his head, because otherwise, if he is satisfied with everything, he will not even think about this topic. First, you need to filter your thoughts. As soon as you think about something bad, immediately try to switch to something much more positive. Over time, you will learn to see the positive even in the negative. This will affect your life in a good way. Yes, at first you won’t notice the changes, but one day you will definitely realize that you feel better than before. Secondly, think less about how to live correctly. You may become obsessed with this, become paranoid in search of “that” existence, and end up not noticing how you missed life through all these actions. Third, dream. This will help you set a couple of large-scale life goals and simply develop your imagination.
Focus on the positive qualities
Do you know for sure that your new partner is a good, worthy person, but because of bitter past experiences, you are afraid to open up to him? Then this advice will help you leave all your fears behind. In this case, psychologists recommend writing down on a piece of paper all the positive characteristics of the new partner: for example, that he is caring, loving, responsive, etc. Keep this list at hand and look through it whenever fear and anxiety settle in your soul.
Living for today or planning?
Living for today means for some people not thinking (or not thinking enough) about the future. Such a person practically does not make plans and does not take care of himself. He puts forward only what will bring him pleasure right now.
“It doesn’t matter that shirking work today may have consequences tomorrow, what matters is that today I want to be creative” - such an approach to the “here and now” model of life can hardly be justified
People living today are more likely than others to spend a lot of money, get into debt and commit crimes. The reason for this lies in the fact that they have little control over their own lives. They not only do not think about the future, but also do not pay attention to the past, to their own experience. These are often cheerful and interesting people, but often with psychological problems.
Life here and now is full of suffering
Life here and now is completely different from what coaches portray it to be. They promise happiness and delight, but in reality everything is somewhat different. What will a person unprepared for “life in the moment”, who is accustomed to planning everything ahead, face? With misunderstanding!
If you live exclusively for today, you do not invest in tomorrow and gradually spend what you have now. This applies not only to material resources, but also to emotional strength, psychological readiness, and moral needs. Due to shortsightedness, you are sure to commit actions that you will regret in the future. As a result of rash actions, you can lose your job, ruin relationships with loved ones and lose your savings.
It has been proven that people who think about the future are more successful
In the 20th century, the famous American psychologist Welter Michel conducted an interesting experiment. He took a group of children and walked each of them into the room in turn. There, the child was offered a marshmallow and told that he could eat it right now. After this, the professor left the room, but before leaving he informed the kid that he would return in 20 minutes, and if the sweetness was intact, he would give him more.
Most of the children in this experiment ate their marshmallows before the scientist returned. But here’s what’s interesting: long-term observation of these children showed that the children who waited for the professor then were much more successful in adulthood than those who chose to eat marshmallows before the scientist appeared. This largely proves that living here and now is not the best choice.
We need to not only look to the future, but also remember the past.
As mentioned above, people who live exclusively in the present day not only do not worry about the future, but also poorly remember the past. But a person needs memories not only for nostalgia, but rather precisely in order not to repeat mistakes.
Refer to your own experience as often as possible. When you encounter a difficult or ambiguous situation along the way, think: what if something similar has already happened. And if so, then you should take into account past mistakes and not repeat them this time. Albert Einstein also said that insanity is when you do the same thing but hope for a different result. So don't be crazy!
What does it mean to distribute attention 90/10
Thea: That is, while doing this... consciousness performs this action, but again, returning, that’s 90% of attention, that is, you don’t just load it, but this is a process...
Igor Mikhailovich: You invest 90% of your attention in your spiritual development - namely in Love and communication, in the feeling of the Spiritual World and the feeling of Angels around, that is, the Angelic principle in people.
Even if, as I say, this Angel is in the state of a chicken plucked by a Chihuahua, he is there, everyone has him, there is hope. And so... This is important, you know?
And 10% is more than enough attention power for your consciousness to be loaded 24 hours a day with ten thousand projects at the same time.
Well, I blurted out a small number, just out of the blue - ten thousand. Maybe more, you know? And it will cope with everything, because it has nowhere to go.
But if it begins to throw up bad things and try to dominate, dictate, then you need to reduce the amount of attention, and be even more in a relationship with the Spiritual World, and then everything works out.
It's very easy actually. Well, let’s say, when it works out, you understand it. But when you get confused, when you get distracted, that’s where consciousness comes in... Why?
Again, I answer: everything is very simple, it distracted you for something, you lost your freedom, it was precisely spiritual freedom that you invested the power of attention in an unnecessary version in greater quantities into your consciousness. And then it captured you, and it begins to manipulate you.
And all your projects will immediately stop, because you are busy only with yourself, only with the comprehension of “how poor and unhappy you are, and nothing is working out for you and will not work out, and you are doing stupid things, and you really need to go, I don’t know, “Wash the floors there, you’re not capable of more.”
Washing the floors is not shameful. And since consciousness has suggested, you lift it by the ear and force it to wash the floors, in addition to the fact that it does everything. And next time it won’t make such jokes. Everything is falling into place.
Zhanna: Well, yes, this is what happens in life, that when you really start... It all comes down to human pride. Now if...
Freeze Basic Biological Materials
Our body contains many things that could save us in the future... But alas: every morning we flush some of them down the toilet. Take at least feces. It could potentially be frozen to later give us back our “native” gut bacteria if our own gut microbiome is damaged by antibiotics or disease.
Skin cells are also important. They can be turned into stem cells, which can later help rejuvenate aging organs and tissues.
If in the future treatments become personalized—that is, carried out using our own biomaterials—it would be desirable to fix (e.g., freeze) these materials at a younger age.
We invest money in a bank to ensure our financial security in the future. Exactly the same should be done with biomaterials. They are our insurance in case of loss of health.
Freedom of time
How many times do we hear that there is a panicky lack of time for anything. Few people can boast of free time. But only it can give a chance to get something that cannot be lost or stolen.
Our emotions, knowledge, experience, communication, travel, personal and spiritual growth - we receive all this only when we have enough time. How to live life to the fullest if there is not enough time even for necessary things?
Few can say that they love their life, that everything they dreamed of has come true. Most people are just thinking about how to make their lives better; they understand that everything is not as they would like, but they cannot find an answer to the question.
Don't think about the future
It’s about completely letting go of all “What if...” thoughts. It's thoughts like these that take your mind to a fantasy future, a scary place. Mark Twain once joked that he experienced so many terrible things, but only some of the things he imagined actually came true. Don't beat yourself up. Try to focus on the present, not the future. Change your mindset from “What if...” to “Now there is...”. Then you will focus on what is happening and be able to objectively assess the situation. Psychologists say that after such a simple exercise, anxiety, fear, and worries usually disappear.
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Happiness concept
So, let’s first define what happiness is?
Happiness is a special state associated with internal satisfaction with one’s own life, its conditions, the presence of meaningfulness of existence, understanding of purpose, self-realization in life and society.
As we see, happiness includes the material and spiritual side of life. It’s interesting that people often spend their entire lives searching for happiness, and at the end of their lives they come to the realization that happiness is life itself, the ability to see the world, breathe, hear birds singing, play with children, happiness is in everything. However, in the bustle of life, we do not notice the bright and happy moments; we constantly run, trying to catch luck by the tail.
There is an opinion that happiness means wealth or unprecedented success, everything is relative. The rich also have difficult periods in their lives, but an ordinary person can receive more joy from life due to his development and ability to see beauty. This means that the ability to be happy depends on a person, his internal state, and perception of the world.
The Dalai Lama has identified two ways to achieve happiness
External - the desire to obtain the maximum amount of benefits, comfort, luxury and internal - spiritual development. Moreover, a conscious person who is in harmony with the world around him can be happier than a person who constantly strives to receive material reinforcement. Of course, the material part of life cannot be excluded from life, but with internal development, a person knows how to use wisely obtained resources for the benefit of his own family and society, and also always enjoys life and his own achievements.
It is important to notice the results, the development process, the beauty of the world, to live for today and the moment. Happiness is not always a result, it is a state of mind, a feeling of joy from actions, striving for one’s own goals, helping others
Often the path to a dream also brings joy, no less than the achievement. And realizing your abilities and caring for loved ones helps you feel your own importance and happiness in life.
The sages say: he who understands the world is in no hurry and seizes every moment of life.
Indeed, in the hustle and bustle we often do not notice something important - a favorite look, the first steps of a child, the smile of a passerby, a sunset or sunrise. It is useful to give yourself a break, to look at the world through the eyes of a child who learns and notices beauty
And happiness is also known through comparison. It often seems that everything is bad, but let’s remember poor countries or people with disabilities - the realization comes that happiness is living, having shelter and food, and the rest can be created, improved, finalized, found.
Happiness is multifaceted: it includes the presence of love, family, friends, living conditions, but some people attract good luck and good people, others - on the contrary. Maybe you need to find inner happiness initially in order to obtain the external attributes of a happy life?
Organize your life in the present
Living exclusively in the moment means not having a clear plan. Only animals, crazy people and hippies can exist this way. And all of them will have a low quality of life.
In order not to be left with nothing after some time, but, on the contrary, to get what you dreamed of, take care of a clear and structured plan of action. Write down your steps towards your goals step by step and stick to these lists. By the way, this is exactly what you can do right now. This will help you be prepared for a tomorrow in which you can allow yourself to live the way you decided “with a cool head” so that it brings you benefit, not disappointment.
But what about the pleasure of existence?
You might think that living according to a plan means not leaving time for existence in the here and now. This is a huge misconception. If you think about the past and look into the future correctly, you will successfully live in the moment and feel the joy of what is happening. And it will become much more interesting than just existing. The point is that you will begin to take control of your life by avoiding failure and getting only those things that you really need.
The essence of the “here and now” method is that you enjoy what is happening, appreciate the current moment, and do what you want to do. But it is not about spontaneously and chaotically, subjected to changeable emotions and changing moods, to commit unthinkable acts that you will later regret.
But what about adventure? Nobody forbids this either. Give yourself a week during which you allow yourself to get involved in adventures that interest you. This is the time when you will live “here and now.” Isn't it a great compromise for people who love adventure? But this week should fit into your plans. The same goes for the actions you will take.
Live an interesting but productive life
And yet, is the principle of life “here and now” really so bad? Not at all! But its meaning lies a little deeper than “do what you want, we only live once!”
Think about the future, but live in the present - that's the advice. Learn to control your life and enjoy what you have and can have. Otherwise, life (or other people) will control you. Only by remembering the past, thinking about the future and living in the present can you become a successful and happy person.
How to learn to live in the present? What is the difficulty?
The art of the here and now is both simple and complex. It is simple because the practices are accessible and subject to everyone. Let's recall some of them:
Meditation. It helps to first focus on yourself and your feelings in this moment. And with experience, thoughts completely dissipate. Mindfulness. As soon as you turn off the “automatic” behavior mode, switch to “manual control”, you will begin to notice the world around you and yourself in it. Breaking Habits
This is part of mindfulness practice, but it is important to highlight it. When a person, for example, brushes his teeth or lights a cigarette out of habit, his worldview remains detached from his location
Often your head is filled with the chorus of your favorite song or thoughts are jumping around like fleas, and there is no constructiveness in them. Try to focus on the action itself: why I do it, how and why, what I feel at this moment, what is the benefit/harm of the habit, when did it appear, what led to it... So in a couple of minutes you can unwind the tangle of some personal problem or suddenly get the answer to a question that has been bothering me for a long time. Focus on sensory Periodically observe your breathing, tactile or taste sensations, pay attention to what you see or hear. This transfer of attention brings you back to the “here and now”, allows you to feel it and enjoy the fact that you are alive.
And it’s complicated because... actually, there is no complexity, but there are personal shortcomings of everyone. Laziness, indecisiveness, irresponsibility, weak willpower, conservatism, fear of something new and more.
— It’s difficult to stop rushing, live in the present and experience pleasure from it (and not dwell on past misdeeds and problems that never happened) for someone who doesn’t know that this is possible.
“It’s also difficult for those who know, but have never tried to take the first steps.”
“It’s also difficult for someone who tried once or twice and then forgot or gave up.”
— It’s also difficult for someone who practices through a stump-deck, does not adhere to regularity, does not try, does not try to go deeper and develop.
“It’s also difficult for someone who doesn’t understand the meaning of life in the moment here and now and hasn’t even tried to delve into it.
So often the problem is not how to learn to live here and now. It’s about how to pull yourself together and finally do it.
Pitfalls of “Here and Now”
At first glance, it may seem that a person must choose: live in the moment, or analyze the past, or plan for the future. If you go to the left, you will get stuck in memories; if you go straight, you will become like a one-day butterfly; if you go to the right, you will forget yourself. Indeed, it seems that if I live only here and now, I become like a dandelion, light and short-lived, or like Winnie the Pooh, a little stupid, but cheerful and carefree. What about goals, accomplishments and achievements? Something is not right here.
In the conditions of modern urban life, you cannot survive this way, much less become successful. A person needs to think about the future, develop for it, study, take care of his health, and make plans. “Oh,” the reader will think, “the bore has turned on...”. We also need to remember the past and draw useful conclusions from these priceless bins.
You can't give up on memory - we are what we remember. You can’t live well without thinking about the prospects - we risk ending up in the place of the Dragonfly from Krylov’s fable. But you cannot ignore your here and now, your current location in space-time. Ugh, my head is spinning, I want to fall and die...
By assigning value to the past, we deprive ourselves of the future.
Zhanna: That’s the same question. A person cannot forgive himself, that is, something happened in his life ( IM: No), that is, about lost opportunities...
Igor Mikhailovich: No, that's not true. These are all games of consciousness. A person cannot forgive something, he cannot forgive anything else. You see, these are all forms of egoism, these are all games of consciousness, of this chihuahua.
What difference does it make to me: she turned her tail, her muzzle, she lay on her side, on her back - these are all animal games. You either live - and everything is fine, or you don’t live - and you have a lot of problems.
You can't forgive yourself, you can't forgive anyone. Who can't forgive? Who's playing? Consciousness plays. The animal is playing. It gives value to the past while depriving you of the future. Well, if you want to exist like that, exist, it’s your choice. Well, it’s your Chihuahua bossing you around.
Zhanna: Yes, it’s just that often people become fixated on their problem, which haunts them.
Igor Mikhailovich: They don’t get hung up on anything. These are banal programs that work and eat their lives. And at this time they, excuse me, are like tomatoes ripening for someone to eat. Well, isn't it?
Zhanna: Yes.
Decentralization of the world and society
But there is also a downside, as we all understand. Let's look at what a person has been doing for the last ten to fifteen years. He moves away from collective activities and is increasingly guided by individual aspirations. The institution of the family is losing its authority, the church is losing its authority, parties are losing their authority. If an ordinary man became a person at the end of the 19th century, then in the 20th century a woman became a person. Now we live in a world that is filled with 7 billion unique microcosms, and everyone wants to represent something, everyone is fenced off. There are, of course, phenomena that are trying to combat this state of affairs, for example, fundamental Islam or artificially grown ideologies like state patriotism. This is not surprising, but, most likely, a set of carelessly painted ideas that are designed to unite the population of the country will suffer a crushing defeat before the individualization of the human species.
Being unique is the only virtue that cannot be criticized. Even people who everywhere scold people who are overly fixated on themselves are contrasting themselves with society. Imagine that absolutely every individual does this. Thus, we are increasingly losing touch with each other. And this process can be traced back to ancient times. What were the first states? That's right - slaveholding. Absolute power, absolute unity. Then came the feudal lords, who kept their serfs on a longer leash. Enlightened monarchs who patronized freedom-loving philosophers themselves sawed down the legs of their thrones. Then there were dictatorships, but now the power of the world belongs to democracies, and they, in our opinion, are not the last on the list. We stop communicating face to face, prefer social networks, dine in front of screens rather than at the table with our family, we work more and more for ourselves (freelancing, for example). Very soon a person will understand that he can manage without serious power - he will have food, work, and communication. A real collapse of the vertical power structure is what awaits us in this case. The collapse will occur at the level of consciousness, society and states. More and more often we will see national liberation wars, fewer and fewer empires, and more and more rights for citizens. Ultimately, it will come to the point where a polis culture will again develop on Earth.
The more we load our consciousness, the less it loads us
Thea: But at the same time, even doing some projects, when the consciousness is loaded...
Igor Mikhailovich: It should be loaded and should be engaged. And the more it is loaded, the less loaded you are as a Personality.
But at this time it doesn’t catch you doing projects or anything else, doing work, no. It catches you on your self-esteem, on the fact that someone is bad, by throwing up negativity.
Even the implementation of some common projects: some people are great, they do something, others don’t. Not judgment, but understanding. And as soon as it begins to condemn, there is immediately a tight leash: “Everything is fine and wonderful! And you do this and that.” If it's not enough for him, make him learn a language he doesn't know.
And then it will understand that it is better not to indulge, because they feed us such and such a number of calories, but they force us to do much more work. Believe me, it counts very well.
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A look at psychotherapy
If you are having difficulty using these methods or implementing these tools and techniques, and if you are dealing with a diagnosed mental health disorder such as depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder , psychotherapy may be just what you need at this time.
Important! Psychotherapy in the present moment is similar to any other type of therapy, but it adds a twist with an emphasis on present-moment awareness.
According to therapist and founder of Psychotherapy and Coaching in the Now, Adrienne Glasser, psychotherapy today is about “regulating our nervous system through the integration of traditional therapeutic methods with modern, experiential modalities and meditation.”
How to overcome procrastination
Think about what goal will be most important to you in 20 years. If nothing comes to mind, write a letter from your future self.
Highlight your major achievement in a prominent place. Make a list of specific actions that will bring you closer to your goal. For example, if you want to write a book, determine the number of words you need to write in a day. Add each action with a deadline to your calendar or task tracker. Write down everything you want to do instead of what you need to do. Go to social networks, answer emails, and so on. For each item on this list, come up with a strategy to help you avoid distractions. For example, block social network pages and set aside a certain amount of time to sort through your mail. Make a list of ideas that will help automate the necessary actions or make them easier to complete. Incorporate them into your daily routine. Add recurring tasks to your calendar. Promise to move towards your goal, preferably publicly, then you will feel obligated. Think of the consequences that you will have to put up with if you do not fulfill the condition. Count the number of working days or hours until the deadline. Mark them on a sticky note and stick them in a visible place, remembering to update them regularly. Write down all the quick rewards from your actions necessary to achieve your goal. Try to enjoy the process.
It is difficult for us to make decisions about what to spend time and money on, what to eat, how often to exercise. Therefore, there is no one simple answer to how to deal with procrastination. But by understanding the cognitive bias that prevents you from seeing your future self the same way as your present self, you can take one step closer to your goals.
Suspiciousness and sensitivity
Hypersensitivity is a trait that allows you to be overly influenced by external influences that would hardly affect normal people. For example, an inability to tolerate constructive criticism (see How to Respond to Criticism) that other people typically tolerate is a sign of being overly sensitive.
To find out if you are an overly sensitive person, see if your answer to most of these questions is yes:
- Are you hurt by words or comments that are said about your personality?
- Are you unable to tolerate criticism?
- Do you hate loud noise or loud music?
- Do you feel other people's pain and suffering more than anyone else? (see Emotional Intelligence)
- Are you slim or is your body smaller than your peers? (Ectomorph body type, very sensitive 99% of the time)
- Do you stop for more than three minutes when you see an accident on the street to watch it?
- Do you find it very difficult to tolerate high or low temperatures?
- Do you find it very difficult to gain muscle mass by working out?
- Do you have a lot of mood swings as a result of small events?
The life of a hypersensitive person
If you answered “yes” to most of the previous questions, then you are most likely an overly sensitive person. The life of a hypersensitive person is very different from the life of other people.
A hypersensitive person feels pain in an exaggerated way and therefore has trouble coping with life's difficulties. A highly sensitive person forms anchors or associations faster (see Anchor in Self-Hypnosis) than anyone else. For example, if he had a really bad experience in another country he visited, then after he returns he may hate the country as a whole because he associated the pain he felt with that place.
How to learn to live correctly?
Learn to live correctly - you will begin to prosper! We hope that knowledge of such information will greatly stimulate you to action!
- Don't judge people close to you. Before you start “judging”, think about the fact that in many ways you are no better than those on whom you are going to hang “labels”.
- Quit your job if you're tired of it. Don't be afraid of major changes in your life!
- Engage in self-development and self-knowledge to finally understand what exactly you want to achieve in the future.
- Travel! Any (even the shortest) trip will give you a huge amount of positive energy.
- Get down to business - act flawlessly. Don't get attached to the result. The main thing is that you are specifically satisfied with what you have achieved.
- Constantly set goals commensurate with your capabilities. Any goal must be well thought out and clearly defined.
- Get rid of unnecessary things. Leave only what you can really need.
- Do not torture yourself with strict diets, but fast once every eight days.
Be courageous
In my opinion, fear of the future is based on the past. For example, a person in the past experienced misfortunes or betrayals, in a word, he experienced all the pain and injustice of this world. And now he's afraid it might happen again. I can't formulate a specific plan of action, but I really want to give you one quote that I hope will help you:
Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, give me the courage to change the things I can change, and give me the wisdom to know the difference.
