Stop existing and start living! What is life and how to live it correctly?

Useful tips

This unique material is a real instruction that will help you learn more about the deepest secret of the Universe, which is life (in this case, the life of a specific person, that is, your life).

They say that living life is not a field to cross. This famous saying means that appropriate efforts and skills are required

to cope with life’s ups and downs, difficulties, sorrows and bad weather; draw the right conclusions from the path traveled.

Yes, life is unfair. Besides, at the end of life's journey we die. Many give up because of this fact, especially if you look back and do not see any significant actions that would distinguish LIFE from a purposeless existence.

In order to learn to live, we must understand the structure, solve the puzzle of human life itself. Actually, it's not that complicated.

Every person who lives to old age goes through four stages of life. What are these stages and what can be recommended for each of them?

The essence of human life

First Stage of Life: Imitation

Man is born helpless. He cannot walk, talk, or eat food on his own. As children, we are doomed to watch and imitate others. Initially, we master physical skills and learn to speak.

We then develop social skills, also by observing and imitating our surroundings. As a result, in the last years of childhood, a person adapts to the cultural traditions around him

This also happens through observation of the rules and norms existing in society. A growing child tries to behave in accordance with the norms that are considered generally accepted in our society.

What is the purpose of the First Stage of life?

The goal of Stage One is to learn how to function within society in order to become autonomous and self-sufficient.

an adult. The main idea is that the adults around us help us achieve this goal.

To do this, they help us learn to make decisions and act independently. However, some adults and some models of society that we find ourselves in teach bad things. They punish us for wanting to be independent; they don't teach us how to make decisions.

This is why some people fail to become autonomous. Such people get stuck in Stage One, endlessly trying to imitate everything around them. They are constantly trying to please someone

so that they are not judged harshly by those around them.

In a "normal" healthy individual, Stage 1 continues into late adolescence or early adulthood. However, for some people it continues into their adult lives.

The “chosen few” manage to come to their senses at the age of 45 and realize that they, in fact, have never lived for themselves. And then the question arises - where the hell did my years go?

?! This is the First Stage of Life - imitation. That is, the absence of independent thoughts and personal values.

Of course, we have a responsibility to be aware of the standards and expectations of the people around us. But we also have a responsibility to become strong enough to sometimes act in defiance of those standards and expectations when necessary. We must learn to act independently and in our own interests.

Second Stage of Life: The Process of Self-Discovery

In the First Stage of life, we learn to conform to the people around us and their cultural values. Stage Two is about learning what makes us different from those around us.

and their cultural values.

This stage requires us to start making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves and understand ourselves; It is also necessary to understand what makes us unique, different from others. Thus, Stage Two involves experimentation and trial and error.

We experiment with changing our place of residence, find a common language with new people, explore new surroundings and try to slowly poke our nose into other people's affairs.

. During this period, many young people begin to travel (much depends on individual capabilities).

Walk on stairs and do simple exercises

“To stay healthy, carry your own things and take the stairs. I always climb the stairs twice to keep my muscles strong.” (Shigeaki Hinohara)

Many people believe that living a healthy life requires extreme discipline and a rigorous training schedule. However, the example of Dr. Hinohara clearly confirms the opposite. The long-lived Japanese did not advise engaging in exhausting training. He maintained his health with basic daily physical activity: walking up and down the stairs.

To diversify your physical activity, switch from a car to a bicycle, walk in the park during your lunch break, ask your boss to install constructor tables in the office to change your body position while working. Any way to introduce a little more physical activity into your life will improve your well-being.

What is a sense of life

Third Stage: accomplishments

Let's say you've tested your boundaries and identified either your limitations (inability to cook, inability to set records in sports - doesn't matter) or what you're starting to get worse at (playing video games worse, becoming less capable of learning - also doesn't matter ).

Now you must understand that discovering these boundaries is, firstly, extremely important for you; and the very fact of awareness of these moments is in no way something terrible

for you. This only means that the time has come to leave your mark on this world.

The Third Stage is a period of great generalization of everything that is in your life. You need to throw out those pseudo-friends from your life who take advantage of you and pull you back. You should forget about those activities and hobbies that are a waste of time.

You need to finally get rid of those calloused dreams that definitely won’t become reality in the near future.

. And after that, you should put your maximum effort into what you do best and what is best for you personally.

What is the purpose of the Third Stage of Life?

You need to put your best effort into the most important relationships in your life. You need to make every effort to fulfill the one mission in your life that seems most important to you.

This is the mission you are good at

– whether you are a specialist in overcoming the global energy crisis, a computer graphics artist, an expert in the treatment of brain diseases, or... the parent of several wonderful children.

It doesn’t matter what you are better at than others - the Third Stage comes when you have already decided on this direction. The Third Stage of Life is about maximizing the full potential of your life. This is the stage of building your legacy. And this does not necessarily mean the accumulation of a large fortune!

What will remain after you when you leave this mortal world? What kind of person will people remember you as? Will this be a scientific discovery that shocks the world? Or will you create an amazing new product? Or will there be beautiful children left behind you?

The Third Stage of life is a period when it is time to live a little differently than you were used to before. The Third Stage ends when a combination of two things happens: first, when you feel that there is not much left that you could achieve; secondly, when you start to get old and tired and you are more likely to be drawn to the sofa watching TV and doing crossword puzzles.

For “normal” individuals, Stage Three of life usually begins around the age of forty and lasts until retirement. People usually get stuck in Stage Three when they haven't found an outlet for their ambitions.

and constantly wanting more.

The inability and unwillingness to loosen the grip and influence that such people feel counteract the natural "soothing effect" of time. Therefore, they often remain active and hungry for action until they are 70 or 80 years old.

Stage Four: Legacy

People enter Stage Four after living for about half a century and investing their efforts in what they consider important and significant. They did serious things

, worked hard, earned money; perhaps they started a family, started a political career, carried out a cultural revolution; or both, and the third.

They have reached an age when their energy and living conditions no longer allow them to set themselves such global goals as was possible in the previous Stages. Of course, there are exceptions, but they only confirm this harsh rule.

What is the purpose of the Fourth Stage of Life?

The goal of Stage Four is not so much to create your legacy, but to ensure that your legacy can be maintained until your deathbed.

. And don’t confuse heritage with inheritance (although the latter would also be useful).

For many, a completely normal goal of this Stage may be such a “simple” thing as supporting their own adult children (giving advice, helping with grandchildren, and so on). This may be the transfer of experience and affairs to their successors and students.

This may be strengthening one’s own political activity, allowing one to strengthen certain values in society

, which the new generation does not really want to acknowledge. In other words, we are talking about heritage in the broadest sense of the word.

The Fourth Stage is very important from a psychological point of view, since it gives each individual a chance to come to terms with the inevitable reality of approaching death. It is in human nature - an urgent need for our lives to have at least some meaning.

That is why people are in constant search for what is literally our psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life

and the inevitability of the fact that the mortal existence of every person on this planet has an end.

The worst thing is if this meaning is lost; if he begins to inevitably slip away from someone’s life; or if a person feels as if life has simply passed him by. In this case, we come face to face with oblivion, which will willingly swallow us up.

Eat a balanced diet and eat lean foods

“All centenarians, regardless of age, nationality and race, have one thing in common: there are no overweight people among them” (Shigeaki Hinohara)

Dr. Hinohara's first rule: healthy eating is the basis of longevity. Eat balanced meals, eat small and frequent meals. Healthy foods support good health and vitality

In the modern world there is a huge number of different diets and diets. But Shigeaki Hinohara advocated simplicity. Before his death, he changed his diet: he left one solid meal on the menu and diluted it with several snacks.

“At breakfast I drink a cup of coffee, a glass of milk and a little orange juice diluted with a tablespoon of olive oil. Olive oil improves artery function and keeps skin healthy. For lunch I eat cookies and milk, and sometimes I skip the lunch break altogether if work commitments don’t allow me to be distracted. For dinner I eat vegetables, a little fish and rice, and twice a week I allow myself 100 grams of lean meat.”

A person gets most of his calories from fresh vegetables and fruits. Therefore, for a full life, it is enough to eat meat once every few days and adhere to the TZE rule - only healthy food. You need to choose a comfortable diet. The main thing is not to allow yourself to gain extra pounds: they will later lead to illness.

Take liberties sometimes, but make sure that 80% of your daily diet consists of healthy foods. And remember: you need to eat in order to live, and not vice versa.

How to live correctly

What is the meaning of the Stages?

We develop as we go through each next Stage of life. Every time we get more opportunities to control our own state of happiness and well-being

– and this is the meaning of the Stages. In the First Stage, a person is completely dependent on the actions of other people, on which his happiness also completely depends.

This looks very unfair in the realities of our existence, since other people are often unpredictable and unreliable. However, having moved to the Second Stage, a person can decide for himself whether to rely on other people.

Share knowledge and experience with others

“I give more than 150 lectures a year. Some of them are annually heard by more than 100 primary school students and more than 4,500 entrepreneurs. The duration of each lecture is from 60 to 90 minutes, I conduct all performances standing so that the body remains strong and resilient" (Shigeaki Hinohara)

One of the important aspects of civilization is the constant exchange of experience, because the knowledge of one person is the knowledge of the whole world.

Learn new things and share your knowledge, interests, and discoveries with others. Meet with friends more often to discuss new thoughts and ideas. Give useful lectures at schools, organize seminars and thematic lectures at local educational organizations.

Avoid being overly attached to things

“Remember: no one knows when your last day will be. You can’t take what you’ve accumulated to the next world” (Sigeaki Hinohara)

Excessive materialism is the scourge of the present time. A minimalist approach to life will not only save money, but also improve your quality of life. According to Dr. Hinohara, it is much more beneficial to invest in new experiences than to accumulate a pile of unnecessary items.

Try to curb your passion for acquiring things for at least six months. If the experiment fails, return to catalogs and online stores. But, most likely, after such an experience you will stop feeling the urge to acquire and will become happier.

Find your hero for inspiration

“Find a role model for yourself and strive to surpass him. In 1900, my father went to the United States to receive his education at Duke University in North Carolina. He was my first hero. Over time, the list of people I admire has grown. It was their behavior, activities and attitude towards life that became my guide to further achievements, especially in difficult periods of life" (Sigeaki Hinohara)

When you are trying to solve a problem or get out of a dead end in life, compare yourself with a person you admire: what would he do in this situation?

It is very important to have a role model with a strong inner core - but not to bow down or put him on a pedestal. An example of the person you aspire to be like will awaken your inner potential and maximize your abilities.

Help others change by leading by example.

Many of us probably believe that others are doing something wrong and we would like to correct their behavior. But at the same time, when we criticize others, we often forget about our own shortcomings. In such a situation, Audrey Tan suggests starting with yourself, taking up your development and self-improvement. And if you have achieved certain successes in life, those around you will follow your example and thereby change for the better.

Maintain your physical health for your mental health

A specialist in the field of psychology reminds that mental health simply requires maintaining physical health. At the same time, she emphasizes that we are not talking about grueling loads in the gym in order to achieve an ideal weight. You should take care of your body so that you feel as comfortable as possible. A good option would be daily walks in the fresh air and healthy eating.

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Learn to manage your emotions

Emotions are an integral part of every person's life. Both positive and shadow feelings are equally important to us. Therefore, they cannot be ignored and driven inward or fought uncontrollably. But at the same time, they cannot be left to their own devices; you need to learn to manage them. In those moments when they go off scale, Audrey recommends doing the following exercise:

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recognize your trigger situations or events and notice your emotional response to them;
Notice words or actions that help you regain balance and use them, such as drinking a cup of tea or telling yourself that you can control your breathing.

This will give you strength and allow you to control your actions.

Plan ahead

“Always plan things in advance. For example, my diary is filled until 2014 (five years in advance). It includes work with the lectures that I give and my medical activities. And now I’m planning to visit the Olympic Games in Tokyo!” (Shigeaki Hinohara)

One of the serious aspects of a long and fulfilling life is constant activity. We are talking not only about physical activity, but also about activities that make you think and act, and involve you in the process headlong. Boredom destroys the soul.

Get rid of melancholy and despondency. Fill your life with fun, exciting activities that will help you get up in the morning with a feeling of awe and delight.

Travel, develop new projects, explore interesting places in your city, sign up for dance lessons, start learning to play a musical instrument. It doesn't matter what you do. The main thing is that it brings true pleasure!

Life is meant to feel, experience and experience, and not to waste it on social networks and watching stupid TV shows.

Take care of yourself while restoring your peace of mind

When it comes to self-care, things like practicing meditation or going to the spa come to mind. The psychologist suggests determining for yourself what is right for you. Some people need to relax at a certain moment, while others, on the contrary, need to recharge their batteries. This approach to self-care and wellness will be most effective for you.

Every time you do something you enjoy, find out whether it energizes you or relaxes you. Then make a list of energizing and relaxing activities and use them based on your needs.