Is your life not going the way you would like? And you have already looked at a lot of works on how to live your life. But change does not come. Let's figure it out.
The fact is that a lot of interesting and useful things have been written on this issue. But all these techniques in reality often either do not work at all or give a very weak effect. The fact is that, as practice shows, if the main conditions for changing life for the better are not met, then all other actions will be practically useless.
Answer the question right now: “What is stopping you from changing your life for the better and starting living your life right now?”
Most likely, you have found quite a lot of good arguments. Only this has not changed the essence of the problem - you still feel bad. In fact, there are only two reasons: no knowledge and no internal actions aimed at changing your life. And there are only two approaches to changing your life for the better: 1) let someone else do something to make me feel good; 2) I will do everything to make my life better.
If you are waiting for someone else to do good for you, for circumstances to somehow change for the better, then you may someday expect something. It’s not a fact that this will be what you need, but nevertheless... In any case, with this approach you do not control your life, you are not a creator. You are simply too lazy to work and create.
If you, no matter what, are ready to make efforts yourself to be happier and live your life. If you are ready to fill your life with joyful colors and pleasant impressions, then here are the basic recommendations, following which you will definitely change your life for the better.
Accept
The first thing you need to do is determine why this is happening. There is no need to resist, no need to fight, but you just need to accept the situation as it is. You need to accept what is happening as your destiny. Accept that if this happens, then it must be so. Even if you don’t yet understand why this is happening, you still need to take what is happening for granted, which cannot be avoided, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you try. Acceptance is the hardest thing. Here you need knowledge, you need awareness. You need to understand what is happening. When there is awareness, then there is no pain, there is no suffering. Suffering only comes from ignorance. At the very beginning, you just need to swallow this bitter pill. Just accept. Take responsibility for what is happening. Neither the other one is bad, but he does this because it is necessary now. Understanding will come later. But already accepting the situation at the first stage, as part of your life, will open an understanding of what is happening and show the right decisions.
Where to look for your love
Love is the feeling that inspires us and colors life in bright colors. It must be mutual. If you don't have this and you are constantly competing for someone's attention, you may end up getting hurt. You need to let go of this attitude, then true love will knock on your door. Pay attention to yourself, accept yourself as you are, occupy your mind with interesting things and discoveries. Find a hobby that you enjoy and will expand your circle of communication, where you can find like-minded people, acquaintances, friends and your love. For example, take a contemporary art class or join a hiking group. This will increase your chances of meeting interesting people and meeting your soul mate among them.
Love is a great driving force, but don’t chase it, it will find you as soon as you let go of the situation.
This article will be useful:
- How to deal with the autumn blues
Stop the pain
Everyone makes mistakes. And here it is not so much important not to make mistakes, much less not to be killed because of them, but it is important to correct them correctly. The important thing is how to behave after a mistake is made. And in this regard, many mistakes, often very stupid, but fateful ones, are made when decisions are made in moments of mental pain. Always adhere to the following rule: first you need to get rid of the pain. As long as there is pain, there is no point in doing anything further, nothing can be done: neither sort things out, nor make plans, nor anything like that. As long as there is pain, resentment, until the situation is accepted, you cannot perform any actions! The reality is that if you do something with pain in your heart, then a wrong understanding of things begins, a wrong idea about life, a wrong vision of the situation. As a result, the wrong plans, the wrong ideas, the wrong desires, the wrong reactions appear. They begin to immerse themselves in the situation, commit destructive actions, and then complete devastation sets in. Therefore, it is important to stop the pain first. Do not plunge into your sorrows and thoughts on this topic, but take certain internal actions to stop the pain. Remember that in an upset state there is no understanding of the situation, no understanding of what is really happening. Instead, a person only overthinks himself in his thoughts, comes up with various terrible options, and thereby intensifies his pain and intensifies the effect of unfavorable factors in his life.
Why is it important to train your brain?
Because it has already been proven that the degree of success in life depends on the training of cognitive processes. Simply put, fools don't succeed. And not everyone is smart. Why? Because they don't use what they have. And what can we say about the opportunity to train the brain? Unfortunately, many in our world believe that intelligence is given by genes and cannot be influenced. Everything is possible, the main thing is to do it. Now we will look at very important skills and qualities that are worth developing in order to better process incoming information.
Emotions
It is very important to develop your emotions so that your emotional range is not like a toothpick. We are still people - reasonable people. The ability to notice beautiful things in simple little things is also a useful skill in order to enjoy life and get pleasure from it.
- While you wash your face in the morning, smile at yourself in the mirror . A good mood for the whole day is guaranteed.
- Enjoy your meal! Don't swallow it in chunks. Feel all the delights of taste with all your receptors. Experiment. Buy something new, not the notorious buckwheat and pasta.
- Remember the good things more often! Drive away negative thoughts. In the cold, dark winter, it is sometimes so nice to remember the summer days spent at sea. You can plan your next vacation and your mood will clearly lift.
- Do what you've been wanting for a long time! Dancing? It's time to sign up for salsa. Have you wanted to learn how to bake? Go ahead, the internet is full of macaron and cupcake recipes.
- Change your usual rhythm of the day! This will cheer you up. Instead of another series on Channel One or Losfilm, it’s better to download a new book or call your mom or learn a new rhyme with your child.
- Get rid of fear and negativity in your life . If something has been bothering you for a long time, finally solve this problem so that it does not haunt you, share your anxiety with your loved ones. Sometimes, having uttered your disturbing thoughts, they cease to be so disturbing and, a problem that has been tormenting for years, disappears somewhere.
- You don't have to be something you are not . If you want to laugh at a stupid joke, don’t hold back, laugh. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to take a stupid selfie, do it. All this helps to move and develop, and holding back leads to depression and dissatisfaction with life.
- Enjoy life. Learn to enjoy life . Even while doing a boring routine, you can benefit and enjoy life.
Memory and attention
We will not separate these processes, because they go hand in hand. As well as thinking, imagination and so on. Memory is an internal information feed. Not a single mental process will work without memory. Thinking operates on information already contained in the brain. The same applies to imagination, emotions, and so on. The development of intelligence primarily involves memory training.
Attention is no less important than memory. This is the gateway to our psyche. If there is no attention, a person will not remember anything. Wow, how far we have come. We started with the importance of doing something and absorbing information, and we continued with a description of how important it is to train memory and attention. Yes friends. Nothing can be done without this. After all, like many people: they suffered about what a bitter fate they had, and then they were distracted by something, and that’s all. By the way, achieving a goal implies constant concentration on the end result and what you are directly doing .
You can train your memory using special applications for phones. It is also useful to learn a foreign language. There is nothing more beneficial for the brain than learning new words. After all, this is not only information in itself, but also a detail in larger information flows. Every word is already knowledge, but knowledge is formed from words. Therefore, it is strongly recommended to expand your vocabulary in full. More words - better memory.
Attention can be trained using Schulte tables. We'll talk about them later when we describe speed reading, but they are incredibly useful for developing concentration. In general, Schulte tables are used in pathopsychology to measure this mental process, but any diagnostic tool can also be a training tool. So install them on your phone and practice as much as you want.
Since memory and attention are connected, if you train one, the other will certainly develop. You won't recognize yourself in a year!
Speed reading
This is a skill that allows a person to process text information several times faster. Many successful people read quickly. For example, Roosevelt loved to read and literally “swallowed” books. The famous modern business coach Radislav Gandapas, who is said to be becoming smarter and more interesting every year, has also mastered speed reading techniques. They allow:
- Process information quickly.
- To save time.
- Protect your eyesight (a person without speed reading skills puts too much strain on his eyes).
- It is better to remember (speed reading without a good memory is impossible).
Typically a person reads at a speed of close to 200-300 words per minute, and this is considered good. Theoretically, the eye is capable of perceiving 12,000 words per minute, but in practice, rarely can anyone read faster than 1,000 words per minute. These numbers don’t tell you anything yet, so let’s put it another way: it’s quite possible to read 3 pages per minute with good comprehension of the material. Not without hard, long-term training, of course.
What is needed to develop speed reading?
First of all, you need to accustom yourself to read with your eyes, without an internal voice of what you see. At school we were taught to perceive the text this way: first we voice it inside our heads, then we listen to the speaker sitting in our imagination, and only then we process the information. In addition to the fact that the auditory nerve can transmit 25 times less information per unit of time than the visual nerve, it also takes time to process. All this is very irrational, don’t you think? And the speed of sound in nature is also much less than light.
When we see a tree, we don’t think much about what it is. We simply see a collection of pictures that the brain reads instantly. Surprisingly, a word is also a picture. It is not necessary to verbalize it internally in order to understand its meaning. It is too long. So learn to read with your eyes.
It is very useful for this to develop peripheral vision so that more words fall into our field of vision. This will allow you to relieve fatigue from your eyes (and with them from your entire body) and be fed with information for much longer. To do this, we use the already familiar Schulte tables.
Speed reading is impossible without good concentration and memory. The faster we remember, the faster we can read. Therefore, you can often notice that people with good memory quickly perceive text without any speed reading techniques. We haven’t learned anything, but everything is already so good. In general, a lot can be said about training cognitive processes, but it’s time to talk about practice. Just remember: train your brain and speed reading so that your internal activities are more efficient.
Calm down
Peace of mind comes with the understanding that what is happening is a necessary test that must be overcome in order to move to the next level, as if in a game. An indicator that you have accepted the situation and stopped the pain is the persistent appearance of calm in your heart. With this comes an understanding of why you need this. Then - the feeling that everything is slowly being overcome, getting better, becoming easier. Then there are real opportunities to influence the situation. The situation becomes such that it can be changed. By continuing to take actions that change life for the better, such a person changes the situation. At the same time, conclusions are drawn from what happened. These conclusions are strengthened in the heart. And this is knowledge when a person in such situations, without any reflection, intuitively does the right thing, and no longer makes the same mistakes. Moreover, having gone through such a path, he feels strong in life and no matter what happens to him, he knows what to do, knows what to do and how to go back to come to a good situation.
These are the most important rules on how to live your life, and happily.
Everything else is just details that are individual for everyone. In other words, the first thing to do is to accept the situation; the second is to take actions that change the situation. Actions must be both external and internal. Internal actions are work with the heart, actions in thoughts. Life is formed first inside, and then the result of this inner life is reflected outside. Start Consulting a Psychologist
Memo to parents
Parents need to remember that they are not eternal in this world. Someday they will be gone, and what will their overprotected child, who doesn’t even know the world, do then? Then it will be very difficult for him - there will be no one to help and advise him. Strangers are unlikely to rush to help, especially now when everything is measured by money. So let parents and other relatives let their children go sailing on their own, and the sooner the better. And they themselves will stand nearby and help if necessary. Nothing is more priceless and more valuable than your own experience.
Follow your path and let people say whatever they want!
