We are not begging the importance of the first date, but the future nature of your relationship will be determined by your second meeting, which may be even more important than the first. It is on the second date that you will have to consolidate your successes and correct the mistakes of the first date.
Most often, on the first date, we behave too emotionally, trying our best to please our partner. Or we can withdraw into ourselves and not make contact because of our shyness. On the second date, the excitement will subside, and logic will take over. That's why the second date is so different from the first - it's more difficult.
Most often, on the first date, we behave too emotionally, trying our best to please our partner.
The purpose of your first meeting is clear and easy - you want to please your potential partner and establish whether this sympathy exists on his part. But going on a second date, you ask yourself a lot of questions. Will this mark the beginning of your relationship? How to behave? What should I say?
Find out how to behave on a second date with a man or woman in our guide.
Where to invite a girl on a second date?
It is advisable to choose a place where it will be easier to complete your tasks. There should be a certain atmosphere there: dim lights and lounge music to help you.
It is advisable that you sit on the sofas. You will be able to sit comfortably, and you will begin to complete the tasks of the second date.
Choose the most comfortable place with unobtrusive service. You and the girl should have the impression that you are alone there.
What could it be:
- restaurant;
- hookah bar;
- coffee house;
- movie;
- exhibition;
- event.
Since you have a couple of hours for this meeting, you can combine several places. For example, take a walk in the park and then go to a coffee shop. Or take a girl to the zoo, and then go eat at a restaurant.
The more different places you two visit and the more situations you experience together, the closer you will become.
Diversity is the key to success
Diversify your meetings. It's best if the location is different for each date. If a guy consults with you, asks where you want to spend a second date, do not name the place where you were with him last time.
Show that you have a well-developed fantasy and imagination - then he will think that you are the same in bed. Men love different looks. Change for him on every date, surprise him. Were you invited to the cinema on your first date? Great, this time it's worth going to the amusement park! While riding the attraction, you will show each other emotions, this promotes trust.
Your tasks on the second date.
- Get closer.
If at the first meeting you sat opposite each other, then today sit on the same sofa with the girl. This will make it easier for you to start touching her, tickling her and getting into her intimate area.
- Touch a girl.
Use socially acceptable touching first. For example, arms, shoulders, elbows, waist, back. Then start hugging her and being very close to the girl.
Don't be intrusive. If she responded well to you hugging her, then you don’t need to sit like that for the rest of the hour. Touch it, then let it go. Stroke it and release it again. Be unpredictable.
- Get into her intimate area.
This way you will check how much the girl is already disposed towards you and how much she trusts you. Watch how she reacts to your touch.
If it’s positive, then don’t be stupid and take her home. If she tries to push you away, it means you haven’t completely won her over.
where to go
Where should I take the girl? On the second date, the atmosphere should be different. You can even visit two or three interesting places in the city at once. Then she will be left with the impression that it was not one date, but several at once. The level of trust will increase. You can suggest a restaurant, theater or park as a location.
You can go to a water park or ride some attractions. You will find out how a girl will behave in extreme situations.
You know each other too little - it’s too early to introduce a girl to your friends and parents. Sex on the second date is also still unlikely. Try to get closer, touch the girl more often, but still the second date is not a reason for impudence, especially if the girl is not in the mood yet.
A first date is like a storm: it causes a lot of emotional distress, especially for a girl. On the second, you both calm down a little. You no longer think so clearly about what you shouldn’t do, you become more relaxed, and trust appears. This is the first step to building strong, healthy relationships. You will open up more and more deeply to your loved one. If the second date is interesting, there will most likely be a third one.
What to do on the second date?
- To drink or not?
Alcohol promotes relaxation and seduction. So, if a girl drinks, then wine and cocktails will help you. But you don’t need to get her drunk, this is a method for weaklings.
- To eat or not to eat?
If you eat a big meal, you won't want to do anything else but lie around. Therefore, if you are counting on sex, it is better to eat salads.
- Should I smoke hookah?
Very careful. It is very relaxing and causes headaches. You can turn from a charged, lively person into a limp sausage, and no girl will like it. So it would be best not to smoke it at all.
Decent behavior is a sign of a real woman
Don't smoke, don't talk loudly, eat carefully at the table - in general, remember everything your parents told you about. A girl with good manners, who knows how to behave and present herself correctly in society will always be in demand. It’s nice for a guy to go out with such a girl. She will be a great mother.
Enjoy a fun second date. If you do everything right, the relationship will very quickly move to the next level. Every little detail is important to build a serious relationship. Guys, and especially older men, pay attention to all the details.
They seem to imagine whether this girl will be a worthy match for me, my muse, my decoration. Believe me, it is very important for men what kind of woman is next to them, whether she can inspire or not. Clothes, cosmetics, and behavior are important here. And intelligence - it’s not interesting to be with a dummy for a long time. Maybe for one night, no more. To do this, you need to behave correctly, not too defiantly, with dignity. Such a girl is not passed over or exchanged for another.
What to talk about with a girl on the second date?
This is not your first meeting, and the topics can be more varied than about anything or everything. The most important thing for you is to evoke her emotions. Therefore, choose interesting and vibrant topics. For example:
- sex;
- relationship;
- childhood;
- secrets;
- character;
- romance;
- trips;
- women;
- men.
At the same time, be next to her, hug her, speak in a low chest voice, sometimes switch to a whisper. Use all your masculine charm and everything you have pumped up in yourself to get this girl.
Taboo topics on a date:
- Job;
- Problems;
- policy;
- a crisis;
- religion;
- family.
Tips for girls
An outfit is an outfit, but no less important is what kind of interlocutor you are. Learn to listen. If a guy and a girl are interested in each other, there will always be something to talk about. Be yourself. Sometimes it’s even nice to be silent together. The main thing is not to chatter incessantly. The second date is a kind of test. If at first everything can be justified by excitement, then here it will no longer be an excuse.
Choose a place for the two of you. Tell the young man directly where you would like to go. Sports games, a dolphinarium, and bowling are ideal. Don't show that you are embarrassed, try to be cheerful and carefree. What you shouldn't do is talk about problems and complain. You are not close enough for this yet. You need to behave naturally. But don't be boring and gloomy.
Your behavior and positioning on the second date:
- Conduct yourself with confidence. Look into the eyes, don't miss the point. This is the only way girls can be tamed.
- Look good, it will be a plus for you in any situation.
- Show that everything is fine in your life. Tell funny stories.
- The mood is fire. Radiate positivity and joy, evoke emotions.
- Touch the girl. Be sure to touch the girl! Otherwise you will get stuck in the friend zone.
- Show verbally and non-verbally that you are interested in the girl as a woman. And that you want her. Do not be shy.
- Compliments and flirting will help you evoke emotions and excite her.
Signal recognition
Sometimes it is very easy to recognize his feelings by the behavior of the interlocutor. By the way, we previously wrote about how to determine a man’s sympathy by body language (hyperlink to my other article). We will not dwell on this point in detail, but will tell you only about a few signs:
- He began to speak louder. This means that the man is excited by the conversation with you and he enjoys this communication.
- Confused about words. Excitement is a clear sign of sympathy for your interlocutor.
- Looks at your lips. If a man clearly likes you, he will closely watch not only your eyes, but also your lips.
Sometimes it is very easy to recognize his feelings by the behavior of the interlocutor.
Stop worrying about little things.
Many girls worry about paying the bill. In the modern world, there is nothing strange if a girl offers to split the dinner bill with a man. This is in no way an insult to his dignity, so don’t worry about how he will react to it. If it is extremely important for the interlocutor to pay your bill, do not put pressure on him and give him the opportunity to show his affection towards you with this gesture.
Take your time.
Many girls, already on the second date, picture in their heads a wedding with this person and a happy future in a country house. But this does not mean that your interlocutor dreams of the same thing. Take your time with intimacy because the main goal of a second date is to get to know your partner better emotionally, not sexually. Watch the man and draw your own conclusions. The rapprochement should occur exactly at the pace at which everyone is comfortable, and too rapid sexual intercourse can become an obstacle to the development of a serious relationship. It is not necessary to infiltrate a person’s personal space, but it would be useful to find out about his interests, life and plans.
Be yourself.
Such banal advice, but for some reason many girls neglect it. In the eternal desire to please our partner, we put on masks and hide our true face. Don’t be afraid to show your essence, because if a person doesn’t accept you for who you are, then you can’t have a relationship. If you are the life of the party and like to joke, you shouldn’t limit yourself for fear of seeming stupid. After all, a good joke can defuse even the most tense situations.
To kiss goodbye or not?
Contrary to popular belief, a kiss goodbye is not that important. If you feel like you want to show your affection, take matters into your own hands and kiss your man on the cheek goodbye. Such a sweet, innocent gesture will not oblige you to anything; you can say that it is gratitude for a pleasant evening.
Follow your intuition.
If during the second date it seemed to you that this person is not exactly the one you need, then it is better to trust your intuition and immediately tell your interlocutor that there will not be a second date. It is likely that he felt the same way as you, but simply did not dare to tell you about it. Or, on the contrary, he liked you so much that he has already imagined your third date. In both cases, the right thing to do is to say everything at once to avoid an awkward goodbye.
face.
Don’t be afraid to show your essence, because if a person doesn’t accept you for who you are, then you can’t have a relationship. Most likely, your second date will not be as bright as the first, but it’s the second meeting that will help you get to know your partner better without experiencing embarrassment and awkwardness. If the sympathy turns out to be mutual, then both partners can safely hope for a further relationship, and if the necessary spark does not occur, then no one will be offended by the cancellation of subsequent meetings.
We encourage you to relax and enjoy this meeting. Don't fuss and try to cast aside all worries and doubts. A date can be easy and pleasant if you initially set yourself up for such an outcome. We hope that your second meeting will be unforgettable and that you will receive exclusively positive emotions and impressions from this date.
And if you are just about to have a first date, then study our material on how to spend it unforgettable and interesting.
How to understand that a girl is interested in you?
So, you do everything according to the instructions. But how do you figure out if your behavior is working? This can be calculated from the young lady’s response:
- she constantly non-verbally participates in communications with you;
- she asks questions, is interested in you;
- she laughs at your jokes;
- she straightens her hair/clothes, touches herself;
- she allows you to touch her;
- and anyway, she still hasn't left the date.
Now you know how to behave on the second date, so you can move on to the third!
Don't chop rashly
Sometimes it happens that on the first date the necessary spark between people does not flow. This is absolutely normal, because the notorious love at first sight most often only happens in movies.
If a young man is persistent and invites you on a second date, this is a reason to think about it. He is not looking for easy ways, which means he is interested in long-term relationships.
At the first meeting, we know about the partner the minimum necessary for small talk. One awkwardly thrown phrase can create the impression of a narrow-minded interlocutor, although this is not at all the case.
Spend at least a little time on your second date and observe your emotions. If the guy has not awakened at least some feelings in you, then it is better to immediately say that there will not be a third meeting.
Watching a movie
The second date very often takes place while watching a movie. And men would like, with the help of the place where they and the girl will watch it, to understand how quickly their relationship will develop further. If a couple decides to watch a movie in a cinema, this means that they can continue to move towards intimacy for a long time, while the girl’s consent to come to the guy’s house says the opposite. This does not mean that everything will happen that same evening. But getting an answer to the question of how willing a girl is to be intimate is important for a man going on a second date.
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Important questions
After the first date has passed and the man and woman realized that they are pleasant to each other externally, the moment comes when they need to find out how suitable they are for each other internally. And this should happen, according to the guys, on the second date. It is then that they are ready and will ask girls important questions to which they want to receive honest answers.
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The main questions that young people want answered on the second date are goals in life, career aspirations, everything about family and about the latest romantic relationship. This last question is sometimes a little troubling, but it is a valid one. Because, knowing the reason why the girl’s previous relationship was ended, the guy will be able to find out how their romance can develop.
Forget about movies and concerts
The stupidest idea for a date with a girl you barely know is to take her to a concert or to the cinema. You must use your time wisely, and your communication skills are your main weapon here, and in the darkness of the cinema, alas, you will not be able to fully demonstrate them. In addition, by inviting a girl to have a second meeting at the cinema, you are sending her rather mixed signals. If you sit silently for the entire session, you will be wasting your time. If you try to kiss, you will become a walking cliché. And you will always have time to show off your excellent taste in cinema and music, so just invite her to the bar, having first found out if she has any objections to alcohol. If so, go to a nice cafe.
First date location
Most often, a man determines the “program” of the first date. The choice of place determines how the meeting will go, whether the girl will appreciate the efforts and whether she will not immediately be disappointed in the guy.
Remember! According to etiquette, you should not postpone your first romantic meeting more than 2 times in a row, especially without good reason.
It is better to choose a place based on the girl’s temperament. The first date can be spent:
| 1 | In the cafe. | If the meeting is designed to last 2-3 hours, then you can get to know each other better by communicating in a quiet establishment. |
| 2 | On the rink. | If you and the girl know how to skate, then spending time at the skating rink will be a romantic start to your relationship. Active recreation will give you a boost of energy and a lot of positive emotions. After skiing, you can go to a cafe for a cup of coffee. At the same time, you won’t have to think about the topic of conversation, because after such a pastime it will appear on its own. |
| 3 | In the theater, at an exhibition. | For creative romantic types, such a date will be memorable, especially if it is some kind of premiere or exhibition held for the first time. |
| 4 | To the cinema. | If the date takes place on a weekend and there is no time limit, then you can first visit the cinema and watch a light film, and then sit and chat in some quiet place. At the same time, the awkward pauses of silence that arise can be filled with a discussion of the film you watched. |
| 5 | On the street. | A sociable and confident guy will be able to interest a girl in a walk through interesting and beautiful places in the city. |
| 6 | In entertainment venues. | Gambling girls will enjoy spending time playing, for example, bowling. Supporting a guy and competing with him will put you in a positive mood and bring a charge of positivity. |
Poorly chosen places include:
- Sports stand.
It’s unlikely that a girl will appreciate it if she’s invited to sit and cheer for a guy’s favorite team. Without receiving enough attention, she most likely will not agree to a second date.
- Hiking trip.
Going on a hike with someone you don’t know well will only result in fatigue and a desire to relax at home.
Unusual places for a first date are:
Remember the first meeting
The point of the second date is to replay the first in a less delicate manner. Most often, the girl, coming to the second meeting, will decide whether she likes you or not. That is why you absolutely cannot hesitate. Remember all the films about arrogant but gallant guys like James Bond or, at worst, Tarzan and act.
The girl needs to see that you like her.
Open doors for her, protect her from cars when crossing the road - make her feel like a princess, or at least one of the Kardashians.
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Secret signs
Although the issue of kissing is very individual, men would still like it to be a mandatory item during a second date with a girl. And what they expect to see on him are non-verbal signs, signals that the partner would give, thereby showing the man that she herself would like to kiss. Most often, the man makes the first step for a kiss, but, of course, he would be pleased to know that this is not only his desire, that the girl also thought about it and is attracted to him. This is what most men expect to see on the second date.
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How to invite to a second meeting
What it's better not to do is make your next date on the first one. Of course, sometimes you want to immediately voice or receive an offer to meet again. However, this can cause problems. For example:
- feelings suddenly cooled down after the meeting . A typical case is when emotions turn on only if a person is nearby. He leaves the door - and sympathy for him disappears with him;
- there is no time left for thinking . The evening may be wonderful, but when he/she comes home, he/she suddenly realizes that there is something negative about the partner or something that cannot be gotten along with;
- the interlocutor may not share the feelings . It seemed to one that everything went well, and the second could barely restrain himself from looking at his watch again;
- meeting someone else turned out to be more interesting . If there are several candidates in mind for the role of boyfriend/girlfriend, the next one invited to the date may seem to be the best.
What remains? One out of two. Or overcome the unpleasant awkwardness and cancel the planned evening, risking running into contempt or offense. Or go to a meeting out of pity, fear of explaining yourself, insulting, and then spend the entire evening looking for incriminating evidence for the couple that will allow you to end the conversation.
Both situations are unbearable , so it is better to avoid them by delaying the invitation.
Then it will be possible to set up a rendezvous over the phone, through social networks or in person (if people often bump into each other). Below are a few approximate phrases that you can use to propose your next date.
“I loved that dinner/concert/museum/club so much! Everything was much more interesting with you. Maybe we can do it again one of these days?”
“You intrigue me very much and I want to get to know you better. How about a second date?
“Last time you didn’t tell me about your favorite memory. And I want to know what it is like. Would you like to share it at another pleasant meeting?”
Create a relaxed atmosphere
All formalities should have remained on the first date. At the second meeting, you should make at least minimal friends. Drink wine, eat a plate of pintxos. It’s always better to order a dish that you can eat together - it brings you together and creates a topic for conversation even in the most impasse. Try to maintain a balance between fun and romance. You shouldn’t get hung up on everyday conversations, but you definitely don’t need to go into the heavy bore of love either. Find out her interests, find common ground and try to make funny jokes - without this it will be difficult.
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How to spend a second date?
The purpose of the second meeting is even greater rapprochement and mutual trust. The transition from general everyday topics to more personal and intimate ones. You are not communicating with a lady from the street, but with a closer person.
The second date should lay the groundwork for the third, since it is too early to believe that the foundation of the relationship has already been built; everything can break off even at such a confident moment.
If the goal of your dating is a serious relationship, you need to open up to each other as widely as possible. Learn about childhood, value system and moral views. If the second date is successful, you are guaranteed a third and fourth, since you have completely strengthened yourself in the eyes of your date.
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Have an active rest
Depending on the city you live in and your budget, this could be riding electric scooters or horses, rock climbing or trampolining. The main thing is to make sure that the girl is interested in it and has no health contraindications.
Watch a movie using a projector
Romantic and unusual.
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Depending on the time of year, with the help of such a device, you can arrange a movie date both outdoors and indoors - for example, by setting up a cozy nest on the floor.
Volunteer
Original and kind. The girl will probably appreciate the unusualness of such a proposal, and you can start to get closer by caring for puppies or kittens together at the local animal shelter or cleaning up trash from the beach.
Play board games
Fun and exciting.
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Attend a master class
And if the situation in the city is currently unfavorable, this can be done online. The main thing is to decide in advance what exactly you will do and purchase all the supplies necessary for creativity.
Draw
Separately, it is worth highlighting drawing, which can be made an element of a surprise date. Invite her to a picturesque place and surprise her with a prepared canvas, a set of paints/pencils and easels - I wonder which of you will create the best landscape?
Visit a botanical garden or arboretum
Surely there is a similar place outside the city or even within its boundaries. To make a good impression on her, we advise you to prepare - read in advance about some of the types of plants that grow there, and remember a few interesting facts that you can say when you pass by them.
Take a walk
And you don’t have to just walk aimlessly back and forth through the park. Go on a bike ride or a boat ride, feed the squirrels, or try to “identify” all the birds you see.
Cook something together (and eat it)
Prepare a dish using seasonal products from the cuisine of a certain country or with an unusual ingredient. Cooking together is a great way to spend a pleasant and interesting evening, and if you also choose a delicious dish, then the result of your joint creativity will delight you no less than the process.
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Go to a bookstore
Maybe you could read each other poems from random collections or recommend something to each other? Or have a competition to find the book with the funniest title or cover? You may be surprised, but you can have a lot of fun in a bookstore - the main thing is not to make noise.
